


Yes, You Are Enough

by pinkphoenix



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Age Differences, Alex is John's Sugar Daddy guys, Banter, Coffee Shops, Daddy Kink, Falling In Love, Henry Laurens' A+ Parenting, John has deep daddy issues, John's found himself some new daddies ;), M/M, Polyamory, So is Laf but give it time okay guys, Sugar Daddy AU, The pair of them are loaded, from target to prada, lots of feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2019-07-07 00:45:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 247,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15897459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkphoenix/pseuds/pinkphoenix
Summary: After moving to New York for college all while not hearing or getting a penny from his father, leaving John heartbroken, hurt and struggling to find a part time job, but when he does it’s at a pleasant little coffee shop. It's going well, until one particular customer grabs his attention and from there on John's world changes completely.Lets just say that his heart is slowly mended with two pairs of hands.Or the one where John finds himself two sugar daddies.Another Laflams fic y'all





	1. COFFEE SHOPS AND PHONE NUMBERS

It was probably the sixth time he'd done it now. The first time he had buried his head into the keyboard and wondered why the caps were locked for the past five minutes after he'd realised it was down to him. Then for the seventh time he nutted this desk this time and released a heavy sigh.

Sitting up properly now, giving his shoulders a bit of a crick and a crack he then decided to continue his job search. He wasn't in the mood by far because Jesus Christ this was the last thing he wanted to be doing on a Thursday night, when it was not only Dominos and movie night round at Peggy's but by god he needed to get his ass into action.

John Laurens was your average college student. Well infact no, he wasn't. Since he did actually come from money but because his father practically cut him off and not far short told him to fend for himself once he'd discovered that he wasn't the exact mould he wanted in a son, so by refusing to take up politics and applying for graphic design, thus came out as gay just before leaving for college. Things had turned upside down back there at home in Charleston.

So John relied solely on the trust from his late mother and any savings he earned from his summer job at a local cafe. He didn't really like dipping into his trust money despite the fact that it wasn't due to run out any time soon and whenever he had to, John only felt guilt if he did.

God, he needed something. Any job, as long as it had hours that were flexible around his lectures and he could easily get there without hassle. It didn't matter - just a job would be nice.

John applied for so many things, yet heard nothing back or nor had any interviews. Surely with his current experience he could find a shit coffee shop job at least, he lived and studied in one of the busiest cities on the planet. Surely New York had to have something to offer him. It was New York for fucks sake.

He blew a curl out of his face in frustration and just as he was about to give up his phone vibrated on the side next to him. John glanced over and saw that it was Peggy. Of course it was Peggy.

 

**From: Pegz, To: You:**

The hell you at? We have a Meatilicious right here calling your name! You better get here soon, Ange says if you're not here in the next fifteen minutes she's devouring it and we've even ordered the Ranch BBQ. Chocolate brownie cookie dough here too. Get your ass over.

 

John gave what was a mixture of a fake laugh and mostly sheer disappointment. As much as he'd love to drop by he just couldn't. Shaking his head as he replied back.

 

**From: You, To: Pegz:**

Pegz, you know how I'm stuck for cash right now and how I kinda need a job? Well that's what I'm doing atm.

 

**From: Pegz, To: You:**

You're job hunting? Dude, just ask your dad, isn't he a senator or something? Hand out resumes to McDonalds or something. Anyway - DUDE Pizza now.

 

**From: You, To: Pegz:**

Dad doesn't want a queer as a son remember? I really need to get this done Peg.

 

**From: Pegz, To: You:**

Shit oh yeah... look if you really need the cash though me, Liza and Ange don't mind helping you out. You know this spots.

 

John rolled his eyes at her given nickname and subconsciously touched one of his freckled cheeks. He couldn't help but chuckle, he knew she meant no harm but it was still pretty fresh to him given how he had only known the Schuyler sisters for a good few months. But since they'd met there at college they'd grown to be close friends rather quickly.

Peggy was brash but the sweetest soft touch, Eliza had a heart of gold and Angelica was feisty, but would kill for you. She was a pure babe. Although he could say they were best friends by this point but more so with Peggy John found himself being closer to.

The Schuyler sisters came from money themselves and lived pretty comfortably here in New York too. They could do what they wanted and buy what they wanted, definitely far from the broke poor student stereotype. But John always said no to whenever they offered a helping hand. He wasn't interested in being that one friend who leeched.

 

**From: Pegz, To: You:**

Am I gonna have to microwave your slices or you not bothering turning up?

 

John was pretty sure he had a packet of pasta left there in his cupboard and a microwavable sandwich there in his refrigerator. He wasn't going to starve so there was that. Plus it was in the middle of October, half eleven at night and he didn't really feel like trudging halfway across the city either in the cold. Student life or not John wasn't budging tonight.

**From: You, To: Pegz:**

Nah, you guys eat em. Thanks tho but I gotta get shit done.

 

**From: Pegz, To: You:**

Its your loss. Aw but don't be too hard on yourself. Hey! If all fails why don't you just sign up to one of those sugar daddy apps? You'll find some sucker to pay for everything. You're cute as a button!

 

John's eyes almost left his head. She couldn't be serious but then again this was Peggy.

 

**From: You, To: Pegz:**

Pegs

 

**From: Pegz, To: You:**

What!

 

**From: You, To: Pegz:**

PEGZ

 

**From: Pegz, To: You:**

I was just trying to help!

 

**From: Pegz, To: You:**

But ya never know tho spots, it just might work.

 

While choosing not to even reply to that because not only was John lost for words but it was ridiculous. He couldn't even fantom signing up for anything so obscure and lewd. He liked an older man of course, so do many people but he wasn't expecting the likes of Ryan Gosling or Channing Tatum to walk into his life at any moment either. Not that he would be complaining if they did of course.

He decided it was time to take a little break from writing up another cover letter and grab another cup of coffee, because this was going to be a long night. Well, morning, because now re-checking his phone John saw that it was almost twelve. Oops. There were no classes today… tomorrow… later? Anyway, so he could just sleep the entire day away, and then hopefully wake up refreshed so he could get a move on and do adult things. Adulting or trying to adult was pretty hard.

After coffee, more searching and Hulu, John clicked it all off then headed straight for a new tab. Unfortunately for him, if he did eventually get evicted then he sure as hell wouldn't be able to watch complete filth out loud like he was doing right now. Seems he would have to be investing in a pair of earphones pretty soon.

But just when he was about to properly give up before bed he found an ad for a local recently new coffee shop which was open not too far from campus, well a bus away but it was near and they were hiring. He quickly sent off his cover letter, resume and hoped to god this one actually got back to him.

 

* * *

 

A week later John was thrilled when that coffee shop job got back to him. The place was called "Lava Java" and sure it wasn't anything special but it would pay the bills and put food into his stomach for now. It felt good not to rely on anyone when he thought about it, not his trust or his father.

Lava Java was actually really nice, it was chilled and modern. The hours weren't so bad and John usually did more if he got grab them on his weekends. It wasn't one of those completely posh ones with the latte art designs, long wooden benches with plants hanging down with fancy lights. This place was cosy but in with the times, they had awesome retro posters framed, vegan options and cute memes on their board outside.

John found himself enjoying working there and liked his boss, a bit of a contrast from his previous boss in South Carolina. She had been so patronising and whenever she was nice there was always such an underlying snark in her tone. So it was nice to finally have a boss that appreciated him for his efforts, while his colleagues were pretty chilled too which made working there so much bearable on long days. Everyone got on well and even his friends, the Schuyler sisters approved on the place too.

But since working there for the past month, John noticed one man in particular who came in almost every single day. He usually stayed till near closing hour and when John was on a late shift this guy didn't budge or when John was doing a morning shift this guy came in and sometimes left during lunch time. He spent a good chunk of his day, just there sat in the corner at this singular table by the window typing away on his Macbook contently.

And every single day he managed to snag that particular table too. One of the guys John worked with, his name was Hercules and the guy was pretty cool. He was a thick burly guy, had a good pair of arms that popped in the uniform's polo shirt (not that John noticed or anything), had an awesome tattoo sleeve and always wore short head of curls in this grey beanie. John was convinced the guy slept and bathed with the thing on too.

Hercules was convinced that the only reason this guy, whoever he was that sat there at that table, came in was solely because of John.

"Oh come on, as if." John huffed.

He was in the process of brewing some gent's latte while trying to make sure that the tomato and cheese toastie in the oven wasn't going to crisp. It had been a long day too, John usually didn't mind them so much but this evening he wanted to go home. He had an essay to finish up just before the winter break, a quick food shop to do and he hadn't been feeling the exact best because he was on the brink of catching a cold. Trust some asshole of course to leave open the shop door too, that icy breeze wafting in wasn't helping.

There was only an hour till closing and Hercules had already started bagging up any remaining pastries from that day. John wasn't pleased at the shaking of his shoulders in the corner of his eye just as he was popping on the lid to the latte he was finishing.

"Well it's pretty funny actually, that dude only started sticking around _since_ you started working here bro. He never used to." The clanking of the tongs from the pastry cabinet made John jump. He cast Hercles such a withering look which only earned him more laughter.

He finished bagging up the toastie for the waiting customer, the gent was still fiddling his thumbs on his phone tapping away and John, ever the most patient person became fed up of politely saying "Excuse me, Sir" and ended up clearing his throat with a roll of the eyes. The customer barely noticed since a wresting video on Instagram was far more important, he didn't give one 'thank you' instead took off with his goods and left.

John scowled with his hands on his narrow hips. "Well thank you and fuck you too...'

Hercules snickered. "You're lucky this place is practically empty you know, don't let the boss catch you with that attitude newbie."

"Boss isn't here though" He said, playfully pulling out his tongue. Hercules cheekily grinned and glanced towards the corner where their regular usually sat in.

"You know who else isn't here though,"

Groaning John tossed his head back in annoyance, Hercules loved to tease the living daylights out of him. The guy was such a goof. "Oh give it up man, maybe the guy just likes what we sell."

"Oh and like New York doesn't have a dozen fuckin' bagels, soy milk lattes and muffins to offer already," He jeered back. "He's totally here for you bro".

John snorted. "Okay, okay that was pretty stupid what I just said..."

"Yeah it was real stupid-"

He gave Herc such a glare. "I don't know! He probably just has one of those aesthetic thingies or likes the fact that he can be a total hermit in the corner right there, literally right there! What, since, you can't get the same damn seat at Starbucks every day."

Hercules collected the last of the cake trays and used plates from the side of the oven. "Or maybe he just likes you-" and swiftly left out the front.

John gave up answering Hercules back, he had no idea what he was even talking about. This guy may just like the blend they used or probably because this place was much quieter than the much more well known shops in the city. Those were usually always jam packed, too much chatter to the point where you can't think and far too many long lines.

As they began to start the washing up, Hercules was in and out of the back coming for any left over utensils, trays and god knows what else. John started to wipe down the sides and stick any of the fresh cakes into the fridge below.

He sniffled and grimaced to himself, he seriously just wanted this shift to end right now. His cold was worsening and it didn't help that this hair kept getting in his face either. He put the sweeping brush to the side for a moment and pulled out one of his hair ties. He loved his long curly hair and wouldn't cut it ever.

No matter how many times his father complained about it or any of the sly digs during phone conversations from the other end there back in South Carolina, what usually consisted of "Mary took little James down to the hairdressers this afternoon... you thinking about gettin' yours cut soon Jacky?'. It was always like that and John would forever say "no'. He just wasn't.

Just as he snapped the hair tie into place allowing his mane of curls to hang in a high pony. His attention was snatched away when he heard "That suits you a lot more y'know."

His hazel eyes went wide as he realised A. that the store hadn't closed yet but yet he hadn't even heard whoever it was come in and B. a customer, a guy from the sounds of it had been watching him the entire time he'd played around with his hair. John hadn't even noticed.

He snaps his head towards the counter where he was shocked but not so shocked, to see that their usual customer or better known as the window hogger was standing right there. John hadn't ever really paid that much attention to this guy before hand because usually he was the one getting the drinks ready and serving those rather than take orders.

His social skills weren't exactly the best and social anxiety did get the better of him when it came to speaking with customers. John was a person who kept himself to himself, he wasn't shy but he always feared something would go wrong with an order or having to deal with a difficult customer. The boss didn't really mind if John stayed on the machine, that's why Hercules or one of their other colleagues took the orders most of the time. Unless it was vital and no one else was around, that was when John stepped in. He absolutely hated it too and right now, after the playful tormenting from Herc this was the last thing John needed.

This guy though - he probably stood around at the same height as himself. Just a little under six foot at least. Although this guy was a little bit taller than John. 

He didn't look too far off his own age either, John thought perhaps maybe late twenties plus with that right amount of rough he sported and the fact that John did notice a tint of wear around his sharp eyes, he had quite intelligent looking eyes and a little bit of linage around the nasal area of his nose. He looked very young still though. He also noted the frazzled way his long hair was swept in a messy bun. Which only caused John to glance towards the window and only to find it was raining, hard too.

Great. He hoped it'd die down before they closed up the shop.

This guy was pretty damn good looking regardless. John had just never really looked at him before. Instead of asking what he wanted despite the time pushing on before closing and the limited menu. John could only babble "Sorry what?"

With a ghostly smirk, John was pretty sure that it was there, this guy stepped forward closer and tilted his head almost as if he were getting a better look at him. Naturally John became self conscious and wondered if there was something on his face or in his hair. He didn't follow.

"Your hair" He said back.

John's brow furrowed in confusion. He was lost, this guy made no sense. "I'm sorry, what?" He repeated.

Whoever this was, he couldn't help but chuckle to himself and that only put John on edge even more. Either order something or get out is what he wanted to say next. But the customer shouldn't always be treated with respect, the customer is always right. Apparently.

"I meant your hair, I stop by here pretty often and like, I always notice it when your making my coffee back there. The way it sways, it's really curly and pretty actually! You usually sport a low pony-tail or a bun but I like the way you've put it up, just that little bit higher like that. Looks damn good, I must say."

All of that came out at once, in such a blur and John couldn't quite catch himself. He felt numb all of a sudden just now. Did he hear correctly? This guy seriously had no boundaries and John could feel half the blood in his body rise up to his face. He was naturally tanned but John was certain his heated cheeks were noticeable.

This guy draped a hand through his own hair chuckling, he probably felt just how awkward he had made this situation become and John wasn't sure what to say. "I mean I'm just saying. Sorry, yeah I talk too much."

With a gentle nod and averting his gaze to the floor, battered converse in sight John managed to muster a small 'thanks' and asked if this guy wanted anything.

"Oh man, wait, shit! Have you guys already turned the coffee machine off? Damn, the black coffee here is the best. Probably the best in the whole of Manhattan. I mean sure Starbucks is open still but their stuff tastes like piss. Dunkin Donuts - pfft! I'd rather piss in my own cup and drink it myself-"

John had to stop this guy in his tracks before he swallowed his own tongue. "Um, no actually it's still on. I was just about to turn it off actually, so I guess you're in luck."

This guy's big brown eyes lit up for a moment and he grinned at John. "Awesome, damn I was worried for a moment there. You know usually I get here a lot earlier, when it's daylight and busier, y'know normal hours. But today I've been off my feet which is unusual... I've not had a minute to myself and I was legit shitting myself thinking 'I hope they're not closed just yet'!" He said, laughing to himself at the last part.

All John could do was nod along with a false smile. "So it's a plain black coffee to go?"

"Medium, please. Oh! Are you guys shutting? Wait it's 8- I thought this place closed at 9 though?" The guy says, disappointment tinting his voice. He grabs out his phone just to double check too. John wasn't lying.

God, John wanted to scream. His patience was getting to him again, he was on the verge of an illness, he was tired and there was still so much to do before they shut up for the night. Sure this guy looked cool and all but John wanted him out. He wasn't going to stick around while he stuck around for the next hour sipping coffee, while talking his ear off.

He spun on his heels, another fake smile for his current customer. "We do, but we're shutting up."

The guy pulled a face and shrugged. "Doesn't bother me, I'll stay here till closing. So can I have that medium black coffee to stay in?"

There was this particular gleam in his eye that John noticed. He was doing this on purpose, John could tell. He looked around and saw that most of the other customers from when Hercules was around had already left. The shop was empty and yet this guy wanted to stay. How boring but something about this guy's character didn't strike John as the dull kind.

"Sure" John tried not to sound too weary.

"Sweet, I've been looking forward to this all day. I know that sounds a little bit pathetic and all but..." It really did John thought. Already flicking the machine on and while the coffee poured, he turned went back to the counter to get the payment. He watched as this guy whipped out his wallet, fancy looking as ever and popped out his card. A simple swipe with contactless and they were done.

"Want your receipt?"

"I'm good" He chirps. John watched as him slip away his card.

Trying not to sigh he adds, "Would you like a loyalty card with us?"

This guy smirked at him. "They pay you extra to say that?"

John was really getting irritated now. "Do you want it or not?"

The guy now just laughs. "Oh don't take it that way, I'm just saying. I've actually already got one-"

He adds a stamp onto the card for him quickly, tossing the stamp back under the counter and turns to grab the guy's coffee and tries his best not to slam the thing down. But this guy eyeing him already can sense his aggravation.

"It's been a long day for you hasn't it, hm?" John wants to scoff at the way the guy leans against the counter, legs crossed sipping his coffee.

"You could say that" John mumbles.

"Aw, well at least it's almost over now. All in a days work."

Everywhere John went on the shop floor, he was sure the guy's eyes followed him.

There was no care in the world as he drank, checked his phone a couple of times over and watched as John pranced around the empty cafe wiping down tables, swept and pushed in any loose chairs. Just then though John couldn't hold in a sneeze and checked to look himself over incase of any snot landing anywhere. Luckily there wasn't, he ended up sneezing again and this time there was.

"Fuck, gross." He muttered under his breath. He's looking around for a second, broom in one hand and the other hand sticky. He's about to grab a tissue from over at the drinks station until he's got a fresh clean one stuffed in his apron pocket.

"Here, take it."

Evidently the guy had been watching and while John felt a bit of shame creep up on him, he couldn't help but he a bit thankful too. "Thanks..." He says gruffly and wipes himself clean. God he feels terrible right now. Head banging, nose burning and embarrassed.

This guy finishes the rest of his coffee in a single gulp, whilst wiping just under his nose, John watches in amazement. The pops the mug back on the counter. "I did think you looked little peaky earlier on, didn't want to say anything though. I'm gonna jet off, you finish up for the night. Get yourself home."

John nodded and watched at the guy walked off past him there on the shop floor. He noticed just how close, obviously knowing John had a cold and all, brushed past him just so their elbows met gently.

He turned to look over at John as he was just about to open the door. "You get some rest kid.'

John lifted a hand to signal his goodbye and with that he was gone. At least he had the audacity to shut the door on his way out, unlike the vast majority of the other customers. John ended up going into another sneezing frenzy, disgusting as it was and thought with everything being done out front that it was time to clock out.

Grabbing the broom, the strange man's mug and flicking off the coffee machine.

Hercules was counting up the money they'd made that day, John stood at his side and helped, blearily the best he could to recount the notes with him. After that, he blurted into the changing room. Hercules followed suit.

"Geez, bro you sound worse than you did earlier." He noted, shoving his thick big arms into his jacket. John sneezed again and whined. He felt so terrible.

"I'll be alright-" Another sneeze. Hercules just burst out into his signature laugh. "Or maybe not."

"Just take tomorrow off, I'll cover don't worry."

With a frown John said "You sure, I don't mind coming in"

Hercules batted him off. "Nah, you just get some shut eye. Oh yeah and another thing though..."

"What?" John was already plastered in his long knit green scarf, a favourite gift from his late mother. It was already around ten years old, sported plenty of holes but it still did the job for the chilly months.

"I"m pretty sure I heard someone else out there with you, who was that? That old woman again with the purple perm? She stops by kinda late some nights, never shuts up about her grandkids and Chihuahua she spray painted pink."

John bit his lip underneath his scarf. He thought back to the mysterious guy, the one who kept coming in and the same, very one Herc loved to tease him over. Of course he could let it all out and tell him that it was the same dude but John for some reason decided not to.

"Uh yeah, that was her."

Flicking off the last light of the shop and grabbing out his keys Hercules could only laugh.

 

* * *

 

The following day after that event John didn't go into work. He called in sick and had Hercules, as promised, cover for him.

He spent the day buried in his the sheets of his bed, cosily tucked up with a mug of honey and lemon followed by a bowl of chicken soup. Something his dear mother used to do for him on those school days where he was sick. Plushies at either side of him, Cartoon Network playing on the TV which John wasn't really supposed to have. Their father demanded that all their kids watch television in the living room like 'normal' families did but since John was the eldest and excelled in school, his father let him off that time.

But being ill was great when their mother was around, she always surprised him after work with a happy meal or new video game. But with having younger siblings, John usually had to end up sharing with them whenever this did happen and not that he ever cared. He loved his brothers and sisters. It's just a shame their close little family wasn't as firm as it used to be.

Now at twenty-one John had to fend for himself on these types of sick days. There wasn't any nursing with kisses, cuddles or being bathed in love with treats. He was alone in his small dorm, an empty bed with none of his siblings to huddle up with sharing games or watching Dexters Lab marathons. Things were a lot different now, sometimes it still took a lot out of him when he thought about the past few years. Losing his mother had pained him immensely, she'd been gone since he was thirteen but he could still remember.

His father Henry Laurens had once been an upbeat, bright and cheerful man but with the loss of his wife, a shrieking two-month old James in his arms all while trying to work from home, stressed out to the point of losing his temper with poor three year old Mary and Henry who was probably around six at the time, used to throw plenty of tantrums didn't help. Martha, dear sweet Martha who was John's younger sister, only by two years and the sibling he kept closest two were the ones who suffered the most.

Martha had found it difficult growing up without a mother, Henry Laurens their father never always knew what to say, what to do and usually said the wrong thing. John had been the one who had to help Martha out when she started her period, the same year their mother died too. He had to beat up the boys that picked on her at school because by god, growing up biracial in South Carolina had been a complete nightmare for them all. When Martha during high school had gone from being a typically good girl, a straight A student to causing fights with other schools and threatening to stab another girl, John had been there to stop her. She self harmed once or twice, John was always there to help clean her up.

When John really thought about it, he had practically been a mother to all his siblings and a part of him did feel bad for moving away to college. He could have stayed in Charleston, gone to college there but he had to get away for his own sake. Sure, he loved them all and even his dickhead father, a part of him did still care for Henry Laurens. No matter how many fights they had between them and screaming wars, shattering the walls of their home with the slamming of doors or the punching of fists. He did care.

But it felt good to be away from his father's control in that big lonely house, it didn't feel much like home there anyway. He had to do something for himself for a change, it sounded selfish but now with Martha on the right path and his other siblings finding their own way John had confidence that they would make right decisions. Still though, New York felt much more welcoming than Charleston ever did for him. But it was times like this, lay in bed staring at the ceiling until two in the morning where he did wish he could go back there, go back to how things used to be. A happier time.

The next day John took off again but he wasn't by himself since Peggy, Eliza dropped by while Angelica was at some internship for a publishing company she managed to bag. The pair of them sat with him all day, binging on junk food and countless amounts of Netflix as they vowed that they was going to get John better for the weekend since they were taking Angelica out for a celebration meal downtown.

Although the day after John did go into work since he felt bad leaving everyone else to cover him and he was fed up of lounging around in bed. He felt a little bit better, still had the sniffles but was able to breathe more and his fever had gone down plus he didn't feel as shaky.

He was half-way through his shift and while it was piping down now in the afternoon, most people had finished their lunch break or lectures had started so the students that had piled in earlier were now leaving. The shop was a bit more quieter which evened out the day. John liked it when it was busy, it went quicker but it was nice to have the quiet for a moment or two as well.

With Hercules on the till taking some teenager's order and John was just finishing up a drink for a waiting woman. Pressing down the cup lid and leaning over the counter to pass it to her, John said his usual of "One caramel-iced-soy latte" just at the same moment he heard that familiar voice tune in.

"A caramel-iced-soy latte? Jesus, is that a coffee or desert?"

John flickered his eyes from the woman who didn't look best pleased at the comment, to the person John thought it was who was standing there at the counter waiting beside her. She took her drink, frowning and left.

It was the same guy, the window hogger or man-bun dude with the nice brown eyes. John restrained himself from rolling his eyes at him and plastered on one of his false but yet pleasant smiles.

The guy grimaced for a second, then dipped his hands in the pockets of his jeans and raised his brow at John with a questioning smile. "You know, when I was a kid growing up here in the city that wasn't even a thing. It was either black, a flat white or if you were adventurous, a cappuchino. Makes me feel kinda old actually," He trails off chuckling.

John didn't really know what to say to that. "Plain black medium again?"

The guy nods away, "I'm pretty old school, yeah."

So John gets to work on his coffee, grabbing a new mug because he already takes it that the guy is sticking around as usual. Although he really should ask but since he's always here there is literally no point bothering. He glances to the corner where he usually sits and there it was, his laptop was already set up.

"I take it you're all better now then?"

Because oh yeah, John remembers how he ended up grossly sneezing all over himself and this guy was there stuffing a tissue in his face. It was certainly mortifying when he thought back to that. Still John was slightly glad he was asking.

"Yeah, uh, I'm not too bad now. Still kinda bummed up but I'm here getting on with it all." He says with a shrug. John finishes up with the black coffee and passes it over to this guy. Just as he's handing it over, he notices the way this guy's fingers brush his own. They're firm, soft even. John feels his face heat up, it's ridiculous really over something so subtle. Their eyes lock as this happens too, John's is the first to meet the floor.

This guy takes a quick sip of it, not even blowing or anything and smiles charmingly back at him.

"You've got your hair that way again," John is certain this guy is out to get him. He isn't sure if this is flirting or what the hell is happening, John wasn't the best with guys, despite liking guys. This didn't happen to him much. He nods, he just likes his curls up a little higher, keeps him from being less hot and bothered. "Looks good. Told you so."

John realised that there was now another customer waiting, Hercules was serving someone else now and looking back at John from over his shoulder and John saw the way his eyes lit up when he saw the same guy he usually taunted him over. John didn't miss that particular look Hercules was giving him either as he went back to scribbling down the order.

"I should get back to... yeah..." He mumbled, he then placed his attention on the new customer and with that man-bun dude or whoever he was, bid off for his usual table in the corner.

During his break John came back out from the back to grab himself a latte of his own, a good dumping of gingerbread syrup in the thing and a good stir then he was away again. But as he did that, he didn't loose sight of the guy glancing at him from over his laptop. He wasn't really that far away since the shop wasn't that big at all.

When their eyes connected again, John was pretty now damn certain that this guy was trying to grab his attention. He didn't know whenever or not to be happy about that or what. Just a pile of mix feelings and another headache is what it caused but he'd rather blame that on his sugary caffeine rush.

John got told during his break he was staying till closing now, he originally wasn't supposed to but since one of the other girls on their team had been called by her kid's school to pick them up because they were sick.

So he didn't have a choice. He was closing with his boss too, Hercules had already clocked out and gone, so that made John feel a bit more lonelier. Not that he didn't like his boss but with Hercules they could talk, joke and dick around at their own pace.

It was almost time to close now and as usual John just wanted to get off home. Almost everything was done now too, things were put away, most of the washing up had been done and pastries had been packed away.

There was only four people left in the shop and the guy or man-bun was still in his little corner typing away. John was curious about what this guy actually did for a living, he had the idea given that he may be a writer or some kind of blogger. He looked quite well dressed although his hair was always hunched up but it looked quite stylish. John had to admit to himself, he liked this guy's whole image.

They had shared a few more glances at one another such as when John was sweeping around on the shop floor between the odd sneeze and sympathetic looks the guy shot him with a smile. How when John was wiping all the tables clean and dusting off any lone crumbs off the chairs because fuck it, whoever was in tomorrow morning's shift could clean it. The pair of them found it quite difficult to keep their eyes off each other.

When John found himself back around the counter after he'd brought in the signs from outside, he was about to turn off the coffee machines and thats when he heard "No! No not yet!"

Turning he saw this guy at the front of the counter, macbook underneath his arm as he was shoving it back into his bag and quickly winding up the charger. John even noticed the pen behind his ear too. It was kinda cute actually.

"Oh, you want another?"

He's nodding and just about finishing ramming the macbook into his back between muttering _"Get in there- fucking thing- god this zip is fuckish-"_ which John had to stop himself from bursting out giggling and bit his smiling lips to stop himself.

"Yeah, I'm gonna have it to take out though." He's still zipping up his bag and sorting himself out while John is already grabbing a paper cup.

So he's heading off home already. "This is early for you," John is surprised with himself for bothering to make conversation. This guy looked a bit taken back himself too, since it was always him doing the talking after all.

"It is, well, it wasn't going to be but I've gotta shoot. Gonna miss me?"

John is turning in the handle of the coffee machine and hitting the button for rumble into action. He glances in the corner of his eye at this guy, he's grinning deviously.

Full on too and John realises he likes his smile. A lot.

John didn't know what to say back really, so he's putting on the lid and a holder for the cup before placing it on the counter top. "That's $2.45 please".

Then out comes his card and he does his usual swiping with contactless then away it goes back into his wallet. He takes a long length gulp of his freshly brewed coffee, all while not keeping his eyes off John and heaves a sigh in delight. "Perfect as ever, glad you're back on that machine."

Wait, what? John's eyes widen. This guy had been waiting for him to get back.

"Oh yeah and another thing-" He says, he's chewing his lip almost as if he is considering something. John stands there waiting. "I'm just gonna be upfront about this, I mean fuck it, I may as well just ask at this point."

John tilts his head with a furrowed brow. He's confused and this guy is trying to hold it together it seems. "Would it be alright if I have your number?'

 

Oh.

 

_Oh._

 

At that moment John goes completely numb. His cheeks burn up and he's avoiding all eye contact with this guy. By doing this, this must have caused him to panic and now he's apologising for asking.

"Or I just give you mine, it's easier I guess. I mean, you don't have to! I just thought and all it was better to ask rather than me write up my digits on a napkin and leave it here. Well I actually kinda already _did_ that but I worried you might end up throwing it out or use it - what with your cold and all. I just thought asking you would be a lot better y'know." He rambled.

Now John Laurens wasn't usually the type to get asked for his number in these kind of situations. Usually it was on Tinder or some other shitty dating app which usually resulted in guys just sending them pictures of their junk over on Snapchat.

It was far from a very John Laurensy thing to do when he actually said 'yes' to this guy and he was being handed the napkin, there his numbers were right in his hand.

 

* * *

 

Hercules had been right all along then. This guy had been coming here solely for him and John had gone along with it too. He'd bagged the dude's number. So what exactly came next then? Well after his shift and a trip to the supermarket on his way home for a few bits. John got back to his dorm later than he would have liked, it'd gone past eleven now and he was past the stage of feeling hungry. Just tired and lethargic from his cold still.

He mustered himself up some ramen and some fancy tea Eliza had given him to try from her pen-pal over in Japan. It was nice to just be home, he finished his food and watched a bit of TV in bed before remembering the number he'd been given off that guy. God, he'd almost forgotten and he wasn't even sure how because once that guy left the shop in a hurry, John hadn't been able to get those big pretty brown eyes out of his mind.

Now sitting up he crawled down to the bottom of his bed, pulling off his jacket that was slung over his desk, he rummaged into its pockets and fished out the crumpled napkin. There it was, his heart skipped just seeing those scribbled numbers. The guy had even added a 'x' too.

John grabbed his phone from his nightstand and saw that it was only '11.45' hopefully this guy was still awake. He wondered for a second if he should really do this though, it wasn't as if he was violating store rules or anything. This dude was just another person at the end of the day, another New Yorker. But John was curious, he would be lying if he said he wasn't interested. There was something so magnetic about him.

So he did it. He pumped in the numbers and decided a simple text would be better rather than a phone call. It was pretty late and phone calls could be awkward.

It didn't take long for him to get a response either. When his phone lit up the room, John couldn't have grabbed it fast enough.

 

**From: TheWindowHermit, To: You:**

Who is this?

 

John gave a 'tsk' to himself. He forgot to say who he was! But then just as he was about to write 'you gave me your number dude' he decided to have a bit of fun.

 

**From: You, To: TheWindowHermit:**

Guess

 

From: **TheWindowHermit, To: You:**

Just say

 

**From: You, To: TheWindowHermit:**

Nah you gotta guess

 

**From: TheWindowHermit, To: You:**

Oh FFS. I'm tired as fuck. Either say or I'm blocking you

 

So it was like that then.

 

**From: You, To: TheWindowHermit:**

I kinda prefer you when you're a lot nicer. I give you coffee, be nice.

 

John rolled his eyes. Maybe that should ring a bell.

 

**From: TheWindowHermit, To: You:**

ITS YOU!

 

**From: TheWindowHermit, To: You:**

You decided to text me back then ;) I kinda knew you would. Took you long enough tho.

 

So he'd been waiting. John smirked to himself.

 

**From: TheWindowHermit, To: You:**

Well I'm glad you did. What took you so long? What are you up to anyway?

 

**From: You, To: TheWindowHermit:**

I gotta do this thing where I finish my shift, go and to Whole Foods, eat and shower. That's before even getting on with my essays. Not much, I'm in bed.

 

**From: TheWindowHermit, To: You:**

_Whole foods!_ I thought you were a student!

 

**From: You, To: TheWindowHermit:**

My gut has standards, thanks.

 

God the little bubble with the dots were already popping up before John had even sent his message. So the guy was sat watching for each and every reply without fail then. It died off when John sent it and started up again immediately.

 

**From: TheWindowHermit, To: You:**

You getting sassy with me? Naughty boy.

 

His brow rose at this. So he pushed himself that extra bit more.

 

**From: You, To: TheWindowHermit:**

You could say that.

 

**From: TheWindowHermit, To: You:**

Cute and cheeky. I like that. So I really do have to ask, what's your name?

 

His face was burning again. He thought he was cute!

 

**From: You, To: TheWindowHermit:**

John. John Laurens. You?

 

Finally he was getting a name. After weeks of wondering and gossiping with Herc about this guy, they were getting a name. It was sadly quite exciting.

 

**From: TheWindowHermit, To: You:**

Hamilton. Alexander Hamilton. Just call me Alex though, s'easier. What about your age?

 

So that was his name. Alexander Hamilton, his name was just as handsome as he was and John liked it.

 

**From: You, To: TheWindowHermit:**

I'm 21. Just turned it actually.

 

Well he wasn't lying.

His 21st had been a blast too, with the likes of the Angelica, Peggy and Eliza escorting and hiring him a bright pink limo for his birthday. Followed by a night on the town at one of John's favourite gay bars, amazing cocktails of all vibrant colours with sparklers, this gorgeous pale pink champagne and a sexy guy in a police man's outfit giving him a lap dance.

It'd been one of the best nights in his entire life. Plus Peggy surprised him with a turtle plushie too to top it off, since he loved the hell out of turtles and they'd got him biggest, sickliest chocolate cake too.

John would have spent it with his family but the shit gift card and text off of his father just put him off going back home to South Carolina. He didn't even bother to show his face in the video call with his brothers and sisters.

 

**From: Alexhasprettyeyes, To: You:**

Oh really now? Damn you're young. Younger than I thought actually.

 

**From: You, To: Alexhasprettyeyes:**

Is that... a problem?

 

Because he just had to know. That made John even more curious now, his age. This Alexander or Alex, he looked young but there were traces that made John believe he could be a lot older. Maybe he was wrong.

 

**From: Alexhasprettyeyes, To: You:**

Not unless you want it to be? Ha, no. It's cool.

 

Before John could type a reply Alex was already calling him. He panicked for a second, John hated phone calls, he always went really quiet or thought he was generally too awkward. He hated being in the back of the shop at work and have to answer the phone for orders.

He was debating whether or not he should pick up. His palms were getting a bit clammy but John decided to hell with it, he pressed the accept button and already his heart was in his mouth.

"Hey, hey are you there?"

John breathed in and took a breath before cooly replying with, "Yeah, I'm here, hey."

Alex gave a lighthearted laugh. "Thought I'd lost you for a second then. I prefer talking, I mean I can type for hours on end but I like hearing your voice John Laurens."

"Thanks?"

"Yeah, so I take it you want to know my age then?"

Pulling the covers over him, John snuggled back down and tried not to yawn. He was so goddamn tired and ill. "Well it would be nice,"

"I'm 37."

John's eyes sprang open. He was hearing right wasn't he?

"Well you've gone quiet" Alex says.

He had. John had to process this for a moment and eventually said, "You're what? 37?"

"Yeah, is that a bad thing little one?"

Now that had him spluttering down the line, what the hell was it with all of these nicknames. "Oh my god, wait you're actually 37? God, you don't even look it! I thought you were 28 or 29 at the most but..."

Alex laughs at him down the line. "Yeah, yeah. Everyone says that, don't think too much of my age though. You'd be very surprised. Believe it or not I'm in with the times cutie, I'm not some old fart. Although I find your age guesses quite complimentary, so thank you for that."

John shakes his head even though Alex can't see. "So... you're always in our shop. What do you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're always in that corner on your laptop. Are you working?"

Because he just has to ask.

"Mm, I am yeah. Always working. But mostly, I stick around to keep my eye on you."

John had to admit it, he did like the attention. He couldn't help but grin. "Me? Wait, you come to Lava Java simply because of me?'

"Pretty much yeah, you're very attractive John. I want to take you out sometime, would you be alright with that little one? Think you could handle being seen with an old codger like myself?" He can hear the smirk in Alex's voice, it's husky, seductive even and John want more. He's licking at his lips and chewing them again.

"Well..."

Alex cut back in. "There is no pressure by the way, if it's too weird for you then-"

Immediately John blurts out with, "No! No, I would like to. Sure, when though?"

There was a short pause.

"Are you working tomorrow? I could stop by, wait until your shift finishes and whisk you off your feet. I don't mind waiting around." God this was all happening so quickly.

But luckily John wasn't working tomorrow and he was glad because Hercules was in tomorrow, the last thing he needed was a telling of "told you so bro".

"No It's my day off, so I guess you're in luck" John didn't have anything planned, he may as well just get up and head off out on a date because who knows what could happen. 'Live fast, be wild' he told himself.

"Are you sure you're feeling up to it though?"

Oh yeah, his cold. "Sure I'll be fine".

"Alright little one, if you're certain."

That night John could hardly sleep, his stomach was filled with butterflies and they barely even knew each other. Although he had a feeling there was more to this Alexander than meets the eye and John was going to find out.


	2. FIRST DATES AND FIRST KISSES

They both agreed to meet downtown at some noodle house, one which Alex recommended.

 Of course they could always go for coffee but with John's job, he was sick of coffee and coffee shops in general. So noodles it was then.

John was the first to arrive, he had to google the address and thank god for modern day technology, the google map app was a life saver. Trust Alex to pick a place hidden away in some little nook and cranny of a neighbourhood where you could barely even notice the place. It was quite small, cramped in on the corner between what looked like an old antique store and some type of Spanish cafe.

It looked fairly busy inside and it was already five in the evening. Checking his phone again Alex was already ten minutes late and John was wondering if he got the place wrong.

Then when another five minutes passed John wondered if Alex was even going to turn up and that this was some horrid prank. Sighing, John started to think he should have just stayed home and spent the rest of the evening in bed with take-out or round at Peggy's playing x-box because this was just ridiculous. When another five minutes went by John was just about to call it a day and walk off until-

"John!"

Running towards him, panting and out of breath there was Alex. John's stomach flipped when he saw him, it felt different compared to yesterday when he'd last seen him at work. Since their phone call he felt that things between them were now a lot different. With Alex's flirtatious tone and John buying into it all, he had a feeling things may escalate and John wasn't sure if he could hold it together.

"I'm so sorry! I'm late, I know dammit. I did leave my apartment earlier but my fuckin' subway card was playing up, I had to go all the way round to the other entrance then it was closed off and then I had to wait for security to open the gate, wait for him to get out his keys, find which key he needed and then there was a delay-" Alex rasped.

"Uh, Alex it's-"

"Then there was another delay, I got caught up talking to someone I work with and they just didn't get the hint that I had to go-"

John couldn't help laughing. Alex just couldn't help himself. "Alex, seriously it's fine." With that, it did the trick and Alex shut up.

He caught back his breath and wiped a stand of loose hair out of his eyes, John watched as he composed himself. Alex had his hair back in his usual bun, it looked less messier than usual but a little wind struck from all his running. He looked nice, a simple grey roll-neck hidden underneath a furry hooded long black coat with a nice pair of black boots and dark jeans. Alex must have caught sight of John eyeing him from head to toe because he was grinning.

"Already feasting your eyes on me, huh?" He chuckles. "Glad you like what you see... because I am _baking_ in this sweater!"

"You look good, I must say." John said back. Alex always looked good though, but tonight he looked even better, maybe it was the thrill of being on a date together.

It almost made John feel a little messier since all he did was shove on a pair of his old skinny jeans, jacket and trademark long green scarf. The one with the many holes too, he hoped Alex didn't mind though because what you saw with John was what you got. He had plenty of nice clothes, pricey ones too but the majority of them were left behind back in South Carolina.

When John left for college he couldn't leave fast enough, it had ended up another argument between him and his father. One where John had to lock his door so his father couldn't strangle the life out of him, after near pushing Henry Laurens down the stairs when he tried stopping John from leaving the dining room at dinner. Martha had to hold their father back and calm him down since he tried breaking into John's room. It had been total hell.

Shaking off that horrid memory John sees Alex is staring back at him, basically undressing him with his eyes. His sharp stare did make John feel pretty helpless, practically naked too.

"I could say the same for you. Come on, lets get out of the cold, I hope you're as hungry as me because let me tell ya, this place does amazing food." John allowed himself to be dragged in by Alex, he didn't miss the way how gently he was guiding him into the restaurant.

It seemed like Alex had already made reservations, the place was really fancy inside with all this amazing oriental decor and it was busy. There were around three floors above them and another sitting downstairs, spiral staircases and bartenders, the whole lot. John looked around in awe.

Alex looked back at him over his shoulder as he followed the waiter. He gave John a reassuring smile and a quick squeeze which sent John's heart racing.

He comment on it but Alex still had hold of his hand, only till they reached where they were being seated. They were placed in a nice little area but the window, typical of Alex of course. A little further from sight of others for that extra bit of privacy.

The place was buzzing, it sure was nice. Everything smelled so delicious.

Once they were shrugging off their jackets, Alex was the first to drive into the menu and John noticed how Alex kept his leg leant deliberately near his own under the table. All these signs were driving him mental.

John was too far gone by his surroundings. Everything was so unique, exotic even.

Alex snickered at John's expression. "Aw, don't tell me this is your first date."

"Um, no but it's very uh-" He was lost for words really. H'ed never been to a place like this. Evidently one of New York's many hidden gems.

"It's a bit out of the ordinary for a school boys, hm?"

John shoots him a look which causes Alex to laugh.

"I'm in college!"

Alex waves him off and grabs the menu from its little holder. "Alright so... they do all sorts here, so it isn't just noodles. You can have Japanese, Thai, Chinese and oh! I think I might try those Korean BBQ wings." He says pointing at them on the menu excited. 

Then he asks, "Are you vegetarian by any chance? Vegan?"

Shaking his head, John gives a firm "Nope"

"Me neither, I just had to ask incase. But by god, I do _love_ meat." And he's looking up at him from his menu with this sinful gleam in his eyes. John has to look away out the window for a moment before he dies of embarrassment.

He's thankful when Alex turns the conversation around and goes through things on the menu with him, he isn't really that used to Asian cuisine at all. He takes his time with John too, Alex isn't pushy or impatiently getting him to hurry despite saying he was starving. But it smelled really good whatever they were cooking, everyone was tucking into their food so he presumed it must be good there.

"I think I am gonna go, for, the Panang curry." It looked pretty good.

Alex dove in and ordered another two sides for them to share once they decided, his own delicious dish of spicy Korean been noodles. All topped off with a jug of tap water and some red wine which Alex was surprised John agreed on. Since he did make a joke about ordering him some softer, since Alex, apparently wasn't really used to dates with guys half his age. But John assured him that he probably drank more than Alex did.

When their drinks arrived, Alex poured his own first then flickered his dark eyes over to John, "You're gonna love the food, it's awesome."

John crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "Well I guess it's a first."

Now Alex was surprised. "Haven't you ever tried any of this stuff?"

He shook his head. "Nope, it's a little different to where I come from." Unless you could call those charred, god awful fried sweet and sour chicken wings, high in calories served up at his local buffet down in Charleston 'Chinese' then that was the closest thing you were going to find there.

Now leaning in further with crossed arms on their table, Alex took a good swig of his wine and asked, "So where are you from, John Laurens?"

The purr in Alex's tone the way he said his name got him all but smiling again. God he liked that.

"South Carolina" He responded.

"Knew it! I thought you had an accent, I couldn't pin-point where exactly yin the south though. Geez... so what's it like?"

With an attitude John fluttered his eyes at Alex as if to say 'do I really have to'. Alex snorted at the expression and took another sip of his wine. "Alright, I think I get it" he says.

"What about you?" John asks back.

Alex arches a brow. "What about me? You want to know where I'm from?"

"Yeah"

Another mouthful of wine. John watches him intently, he hoped he wasn't going to have to carry Alex home at this point. "New York" He responds.

"No one is really from New York," John retorts. "Also you sound like you just may have a bit of an accent yourself..."

Alex pulls back from his glass grinning. "Alright, alright cutie. You win. I'm originally from the Caribbean, St. Kitts actually since my parents had a place there and a fishing trade. Dad walked out, Mom died and then there was all this shit with a hurricane. I got moved to a foster home in Bridgetown and then eventually found another in New York. Here I am." He ends with a salute.

God that was a lot to process. John just blinked at him, he needed a mouthful of his own wine just after hearing that lot. "That sounds... wow."

But Alex just shrugs, unbothered. "Ah, well, it is what it is. So what about you then, whats your story?"

"My story?"

Alex shifts in his chair getting more comfortable. "Yeah, I want to know more about you. Like... for example... you're a student right, so what do you study?"

"I do graphic design and animation."

"Mmm, you're a bit of an artist then. I don't know shit about art but I'd love to see your work sometime." John didn't miss that look off Alex. Also he said 'sometime' so the meant there could be another date, if he played his cards right. "You got any brothers? A sister maybe?"

John sat up and straightened himself out. "I've got two brothers and two sisters. I'm the eldest though."

"Big brother huh, cute." Alex's smile grew more at the way John's cheeks flushed. He knew what he was doing. "What about your parents? Hey, actually I'm going to be very blunt here and ask-" Oh god John thinks. "Are you out yet? I take it you're obviously batting for the other team, or maybe both teams."

 _Both_ teams though, Imagine that. John had to laugh.

"Things could be better. I don't exactly have a mother either and since I came out as gay, I haven't really been in touch with my dad since I left for college."

Alex's smile softens and he nods in understanding. He doesn't push anymore about his parents after that and John is glad their food arrives just after that. He didn't want a downer on their evening.

Their food was amazing, things cheered up when they filled their stomachs and Alex kept offering to him feed job off his chopsticks. Another small thing that impressed John about this guy was how he could use those. He accepted the food and had his ears chewed off about how Alex used to work for a company temporarily in Tokyo.

It turned out that Alex had been all over the world, from trips to Paris, Dubai, Milan, London, Bangkok, Sydney. The list was tremendous and endless to say the least. John learnt a hell of a lot about him, he was more than some window hermit that never budged off his laptop. The guy was a full blown globetrotter.

"But I'm just gonna say this, I'd never live anywhere else though, New York is home." He adds with a sigh and glances out at the window, looking on to the glowing lights of the city as if to prove a point.

They're just finishing up with their drinks and John does find himself thinking what was to happen after they leave. "You're seriously, so lucky and I thought my endless trips to Disney world and that one trip to Hawaii as a kid were cool" He says sulkily.

Alex bites his bottom lip. He's got his glass of wine, now near empty of course, just under it. John is looking back into his eyes, there is something so alluring about the way Alex looks right now. Maybe it's the wine or Alex himself. It could be both he decides.

"You could always come with me."

John narrows his gaze. "As in... travel to all different places?"

"That's exactly what I'm proposing little one." There goes that nickname again, Alex throws them around like they're nothing.

"You'd be okay with that? Uh, I mean it sounds awesome and all but I don't exactly... I work at a coffee shop Alex." John ends blandly.

Alex finishes his wine and sets down the glass. "Don't I know," He laughs. "I'd be more than okay with that. In fact I think it would make my time alone on those business trips, less, lonesome." He's actually gone to put a hand on John's knee under the table.

Oh god, oh god.

"Also you needn't worry about money. I'm aware that you're a lot younger than me John, you're making ends meet by working too many shifts and I've seen you in action there behind that counter." He states. John can feel Alex's hand curl and squeeze his knee. "Though, I'd rather see you-"

And he's getting up, hovering just by John's ear and finishes with "Making my coffee, in _my_ kitchen tomorrow morning". Alex is sat down again seconds later, wearing nothing but a devilish grin. John is on fire and that's it.

"I think we're ready for the bill, wouldn't you say so?"

It's a bit of a fuck around when the bill comes because John has his card out at the ready and Alex does too but since it was Alex that called the waiter over, he ends up paying it. John tries to hand Alex a couple of notes as they're walking out but Alex is putting it back into Johns wallet and tells him to put it away.

They're outside of the restaurant and Alex wastes no time in grabbing John's hand.

He isn't sure what is to come or happen next now. It doesn't feel as awkward as before when they met. John eventually weaned himself into comfort there in Alex's hand and he held it back. Alex noticed this and smiled at him. It was freezing, cold enough to snow and Alex huddles closer to him.

"God I fucking hate winter," He griped. John just laughs. Not that he could agree, even with his cold there was such a beauty in winter that no other seasons held. After growing up in the south where the summers were brutal and dry, John had always been more of a winter-spring kind of guy to say the least.

They're heading towards the station but it wasn't the one John used. At this he had to stop for a moment, he wasn't sure and Alex caught on to this because John's expression went from confident to fairly nervous. He darted his eyes to the ground, it was hectic and people were flooding from out the subway and others trailing in.

"Hey, you okay baby boy?"

Another nickname. It sent John into a frenzy and it kind of made him realise that this date was going to end up with more than just noodles going into his mouth.

"Y-Yeah I'm cool, so um, are you heading off back now?" He cursed silently to himself, trust him to start stammering.

Alex's hand contact broke off and he moved to face John, not caring about the flocks of people that were passing them. None of them seemed to matter.

"I was kind of hoping you'd like to join me? My place is only a few stops away." Alex doesn't sound as if he is pressuring him, the offer is quick and simple.

It was there if he wanted it and John isn't sure still. After all they've just met and John isn't sure about going to a place to do 'things', because no doubt that is what they're going to do, with a man he barely knew all that well and in a place he didn't know incase things did go wrong.

"What if you... came back to mine?" If this was to happen at his then John felt that bit more confident. His own surroundings putting him at ease helped a lot more.

Alex is looking into his eyes dreamily. Smiling sweetly "If that's what you want, I'm down. You can trust me. Just one more thing though,"

"What?" John feels his stomach do a flip-flop because god he knew it, this guy had some dodgy secret or worse, he was in with the occult or a father of two and had a beautiful wife sat at home waiting.

"Can I kiss you, like right now? I really want to. Kind of been thinking about kissing you all night actually."

Oh, so that was it.

John breaks out into a smile and with that as confirmation, Alex hurriedly closes the gap between them and he's got both hands on John's chilled cheeks. The kiss went from a short sweet one to a full blown semi-make out session, right there in the public eye.

Some people stared of course all while others muttered to them 'excuse me' or 'move' which led to Alex breaking away, grabbing the ends of John's long green scarf hanging down and dragged them both out of the way there in everyones path. They spent the next couple of minutes kissing away at the side of the subway entrance, John pinned against the wall while Alex not far short had his tongue down his throat.

When breaking away from each other's mouths, John looked dazed and Alex pulls him in again one last time with a growl. They break away again, a small string of saliva pops between them and they can't help but burst into giggles.

"Well that was... wow." John pants out. "You're probably one of the best kissers I've had in a long while."

Alex flaunts a smug expression but it can't really stick because he goes back into smiles. "These lips aren't just for kissing baby boy, oh man, John you're- holy fuck. So we're heading back to your place?"

"Mm. But we have to go the other way to get back to my dorm."

John is peppered with another kiss or two and he can tell Alex is excited. It's right there in his eyes, they're glittering but with something other than just lust. Alex is adjusting John's scarf helping neaten it and he pats down he's rumpled curls.

John put his hair up in that particular high pony-tail that Alex liked for this occasion and he's obviously noticed. John appreciated it when Alex toyed with one of the curls between his fingers and murmurs "pretty" before they set off to his dorm.

 

* * *

 

It started snowing again and rather than take the subway, Alex stuck out his hand for a cab and got John to give the directions. John whined and said it was too expensive but Alex just waved his card like it was nothing when it came to payment without a care. Plus a $20 tip extra for the cabby, Alex did it swiftly but John saw him just stuff the note into his hand like it was nothing.

John already had an incline but he figured that Alex probably made a shit ton of money - not that it was any of his business but he really wanted to know what he did. That's when he remembered, he hadn't asked Alex yet what he did for a living.

They got out of the cab and John led the way, their hands meeting again and Alex followed suit. The dorm building had Alex saying just how much it brought back college memories of his own and John rolled his eyes. Although it was nice to hear about his tales, getting to know Alex more definitely wasn't boring.

When they arrived outside his door, John complaining at how Alex had his arms snaked his waist with his face buried in his neck kissing away. He found it difficult to fish out his keys let alone unlock the door but eventually he managed to and inside they went.

Flicking on the light, John somehow scuffled out his jacket even with Alex hanging on to him and John got Alex out of his own jacket. "Are you always this clingy?" John sighs, as he's throwing up their coats on the hooks.

"I blame the wine."

Of course. "Well you did drink nearly a full bottle of it,"

Alex ends up chuckling into his neck, he's nipping and kissing at it again but this time there is one spot he gets where he's got John whimpering. "I'm not drunk if that's what you're asking. I'm just feeling a little playful, if y'know what I mean baby boy."

John turns to face Alex and catches him by the lips. As they're kissing, they're also moving out of the small hallway and into John's main room. Alex is staggering, almost landing himself into John's desk and John has to stir them away. "Careful-" He moans between kisses. "You'll break it."

This has Alex balling his eyes. "Oh honey, I'd just buy you a new lamp and computer, don't you worry your pretty little self." he says as he looks over to whats actually on John's desk. Which is also when Alex finally has a proper look around the room.

"Ooh, so this is your room. Pretty small."

John pouts at Alex. "I'm a student, what did you expect? A lavish apartment with a view of times square?"

Alex shrugs. He reaches his hands slowly combing into the side's of John's hair, as he's doing this he slips out the hair tie. "If that's what you want... hun I could give it to you." He says gently.

Looking back at Alex, into those eyes again, John sees that he's being serious. He sounds serious and very at that. John didn't question it.

"Least you've got a big bed though" Alex raises his eyebrows playfully at him, he didn't miss that then. John scoffs at him and pushes Alex down onto it. "Pretty damn comfy too, you gonna join me or just stand there?"

John shoves at Alex's shoulder and while he isn't much bigger than himself, Alex doesn't really live up to much of a strength either. He laughs as John clambers on to his bed bedside him and Alex pulls him down by his arm so that he's landing face first.

"Hey!" John cries. "I bring you back and look, you first insult my room, now you're being mean to me!"

Alex crawls over to him and climbs on top so that he's straddling John's waist. He leans down to cut him off with yet another kiss, John allows him to take the lead and things end up steamier. Alex's hands in his hair and fingers massaging his scalp all while John has his hands on Alex's sides and they're making their way up, meeting at the back of Alex's neck where John pulls him deeper into the kiss.

He's breaking the kiss from John again and huskily says "Forgot to tell you, I'm a little bit of a bully in the bed."

Well shit.

"C'mon baby boy, I'm getting harder by the minute and I wanna see you, I'm talking about all of you. Been dying to see what you look like without these clothes-" John giggles as Alex is going straight for his shirt, slowly pulling it off with a mixture of ease and impatience. "But then again I've been dying to see what you look like under your uniform for weeks."

There is something the way he does it too, John did tries to give him a hand but Alex pressed him back down. Alex wanted to be in control then, oh okay.

Off came his shirt and Alex looked hungrier than before they ate dinner. He's doing that thing again, biting his lip and running his eyes over John's body. Now John didn't like to brag but he did work out. Usually a couple of the weights down at the campus gym in his spare time and not to forget his morning routine of sit-ups, press-ups and a jog whenever he could cram it into his hectic lifestyle.

"Holy shit, you're fit as fuck. I knew you looked like you could be a little jacked and all, but I didn't think you had the abs and everything!" John only laughed more at his reaction.

"Alex you act as if you've never seen a six-pack before," He leans to sit up a little all while Alex's hands are running along his stomach, admiring every dent and muscle that there was. "Now it's my turn."

Just as he was going for the hem of Alex's sweater a hand slapped his away. "Ah, ah, ah - Not yet"

John is all but smiling and shaking his head, Alex was unbelievable.

"Not fair" He mutters, Alex chooses to ignore that and he's pressing John in the center of his chest back down again. So he lies there while he then feels the sensation of Alex's tongue slither down his abs, there is kisses and wet noises. John hums to himself and relishes in the feeling.

It's been a while since he'd been with anyone. Well if you could call four months ago a 'while' but John was nowhere near a virgin, he'd taken once and that had been the last time. He didn't hate it but the guy back in South Carolina had been a little too rough with him. That was how he had lost his virginity too, swigging bottles full of alcohol he'd stolen from Henry Lauren's cabinet out of his office and he'd smuggled them into his prom.

It was kind of cliche actually, to loose it on prom night but when the only other gay in the school had offered and they had decided to just get it over with under the bleachers, John didn't really object.

They were dumb, drunk, it was messy and teenage feelings were all over the place, it wasn't the best. There was no special moments or anything. Just the friction in his ass because the idiot forgot to slick him up, a ripped sad looking condom and puke from his dad's scotch.

Ever since then John was the giver, rather than be on the receiving side of things which what made him a little more than worried right now. Especially as Alex was going for his belt and when that came off, that's when John reached for Alex's hand putting him at a stop.

"Is this okay? Want me to stop?" Alex asks, he looked concerned.

"No! No! It's cool, uh, it's just been a while for me. That's all."

Alex leans forwards and presses a kiss to his mouth. "Don't worry little one, I'll take care of you".

With that Alex went back to work and his hands are scrambling to his fly. John could only feel a mixed balance of not just nervousness but pure thrill over take him. A part of him couldn't even believe this was the same guy from work too. This time last week he didn't think he'd have the window hermit in his room on the edge of sucking him off.

Looking back at him, Alex's eyes were intense. John found it suddenly difficult to meet Alex's gaze, laying there, gazing up at Alex, he really was already starting to feel more than a little embarrassed at how brash he'd suddenly been.

"Feeling adventurous?" Alex asked, a challenging tone in his voice. A slight smile played across his handsome face.

John was not about to admit that the courage he'd had in the previous moments had slipped away. He didn't know why either, it wasn't as if he had a horrible body or a small package. John knew he was a catch, a good looking and decent guy but even guys like himself got shy.

"Of course I am." John charged back, relieved he was able to say it without his voice breaking.

"Ummm hmmm…" Alex hummed and continued his keen appraisal.

"I am!"

"Hmmm... alright then."

When it quietened down, Alex had to ask, "How far do you want to take this?"

"Tonight?"

"Well, yeah baby boy. After tonight, nothing is going to be the way it used to. When I go into that coffee shop, I'll look at you and know that I've tasted something a fuck ton of a lot better than my usual." Alex mutters as he starts busying himself again.

"Bet you're sweeter than those fucking caramel-soy-thingies you whip up..." John cracked up at that.

"Oh god, Alex, you're killing the mood here!"

"We've got all night hun"

Alex worked as his own pace, when he had John's jeans off and god they weren't easy to pry off. John lay there laughing while Alex struggled to drag them off and gained a spank on the side of the thigh for finding it funny. At that John and Alex both shared a look.

Things were heating up.

One of his hands back up on John's chest, brushing against bronzed taunt nipples. Then rode down the sweet skin of John's belly and down to toying with the elastic on his briefs.

John made it easier for him when he arched his back, allowing them to slide off without hassle. Alex loved how John was getting into this, the eagerness was killing him. Giving John one final kiss, Alex shuffled backwards, while trying not to fall off the bed himself and slowly slid John's underwear down his slender calves, gradually getting them off with ease until they swept right off his ankles.

While John's thickened cock was out there on show, Alex taking in the sight with a throaty squeal and man-handled it before anything else. But he hadn't noticed till now, John's briefs were this light green with the cutest little cartoon turtles all over them!

He held them up, dangling them there on the hook of his finger. Alex shot John a look as he dropped them, oh this was gold.

John wanted to die. He'd forgotten about those! All of his under briefs were in the wash and these were the only pair left.

"Say anything about my underwear and I'll make you eat them."

Barking a throaty laugh, Alex took hold of John's socked feet and squeezed his toes. "Oh please, by the time I'm done with you, I'll have the taste of your cum and ass left in my mouth for a fortnight."

Balling his eyes, John tried swatting Alex with his foot but he only dodged him and swatted him on the back of his thigh. Now pushing the underwear shenanigans past him, Alex kissed the tops of John's knees and leisurely, he began to part his legs open.

As this happened John closed his eyes, Alex was slicking up his cock and balls.

He was completely captivated.

"Jesus, even your dick is beautiful. Goddamn oil painting! Look at this... I bet you taste as good as you look."

Everything was burning and tingling at the same time. So much that John's mind started to get cloudy, blood rushing to his face. He honestly didn't think he'd get through this. Even his stomach was packing up with butterflies, any more and he would explode.

"All these freckles too, you're a stunner you are. Fucking beaut." John all but purred initially as fingertips began to travel over the surface of his skin, ghosting down between the inner coating of his caramel-tan thighs, tracing the slight stubble on his genitalia, swirling in the hollows of his backside, touching everything…

"Tell me, what do you want baby boy?" Alex's low rumble held a distinct note of self-satisfaction.

John groaned at this, he shouldn't be teasing him-or was he? He wondered if Alex was somewhat asking for his permission.

"I want you to...touch... me."

"But I am touching you," Alex jeered lightly in response to John's breathy whisper. "Gotta be specific, what _do_ you want?"

He couldn't believe Alex was doing this. Teasing him, he obviously knew what he wanted dammit. As Alex's hand kept pumping him, warming up his cock, John wanted to kick him, not that he did though. He couldn't ruin the moment. But by god, he wished Alex would hurry.

Biting his lip, he groaned again making Alex only chuckle more.

"I want you to touch me… my… everywhere… my cock... use your mouth though."

Smirking, Alex whispers, "I won't say no to that."

Alex moved down between taunt, silky bare legs; John was fully hard now. He gave it a loving kiss on its top before wrapping his lips around the tip of John's cock, inside his mouth Alex used his tongue, swirling it around the slit, savouring the light flavours of arousal beginning to seep from it. Then he released John's now pearling dick and began sliding his mouth down his shaft from tip to base and back again, alternating sides.

"Fuck... Alex... uh..." John moaned quietly.

John hated how wanton Alex's touch made him, but he couldn't resist it. He felt his body betray, all pride washed down the drain as his thighs opened exposing himself, giving Alex more access. Hips thrust as he tried to make the restraining hand at his base ease him.

Once the overbearing sensation rocked John and he was soon panting from a whole other type of struggle. Even so, he managed to run his fingers into the dark hair between his thighs, urging Alex on.

Alex glowed at how his John responded to his attentions. He watched John's head tip back, beneath the shelter of his arm, the full length of his throat pulled taut, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly with his laboured breaths as he sped up. Growling gasps increased as Alex shifted from fondling the tender sac to stroking the skinned seam between this and John's tight, very fucking tight entrance.

Maybe it was a sign for him to stop when John wiggled and hinged up his leg the way he did. Alex couldn't really be too sure, he took John's cock out his mouth with a wet 'pop' and glanced back at him. John was lay there with his eyes all closed, completely blissed out.

"Think you could spit out a few words baby boy? I gotta know I'm making you feel good!"

Not really one for saying much during sex, John gave a brief nod as Alex went back to sucking him off. He was enjoying himself, it was just embarrassing having to make too much noise.

Well, he had John mewling through his teeth, which obviously pleased Alex, who sat up and ran large hands down John's trembling thighs.

"Yes... god Alex... fuck... yeah... more" He whimpered.

Alex was licking his upper lip. That was more like it but he felt like he needed to give John some encouragement.

"Is that right kitten? God, you're so pretty. On your back here, completely fucking helpless. Hey baby, do you mind me calling you names? Y'know, like filthy ones? Could you be my little slut for tonight?"

All while nodding, John didn't care at this very moment in time. Alex could call him whatever, he just needed more and to release because damn it was starting to hurt. Alex wasn't lying when he promised his mean side.

"I'm gonna... I'm gonna... fuck..."

"That's right, you little whore, you like that don't you? You love it how an older man's touching your sweet prick? Naughty little bitch you are."

"Al... Alex... yes... yeah... shit!"

John was so far gone he stopped caring about any embarrassment and went with it.

"Such a good slut, can't wait to get inside you soon. Oh god yeah, I'm gonna fuck you real good, I'll make you scream my name kitten. I bet I can even get you to cry - " Alex pants and John is so far gone, he doesn't see that Alex is now getting himself off. "You'll cry like the little skank you are and my cock will imprint your fucking insides. I'll fuck you so well you'll be walking to class funny for the next two weeks. You like that? Gonna make you ride me like a damn pony."

Between the wet pleasure of this and the hand working John's tender sac it was not long before his lust-filled torment came to a shuddering conclusion. He was lay there, socked-toes still curled with red flustered cheeks; heaving.

"I'm gonna... Alex!"

When it came, it came and Alex wasted no time guzzling every drop down. The way he took John's cum was like it were a water fountain, he was shameless and didn't let a drop lid and ended this ordeal with a quick kiss on the tip of his cock.

"Enjoy that, baby?" He smirked playfully at John who was trying to sit up, obviously too far gone in pleasure to really catch himself properly yet. If a blow job did that to him then Alex couldn't wait to fuck him.

His grin faltered however, when he saw the bothered look cross over John's face at his words.

There was no way Alex could have known the powerful wave of emotions his words sent crashing through John. When he had heard the word "baby," spoken in that way, rather than an endearment, he heard an indictment and suddenly felt ashamed.

On a certain level, John knew he was being overly sensitive, but "Baby" struck him as a weak title. Beyond this, he still felt so untried and insecure he did not want to be seen as an infant, as the word indicated.

Aware of the sudden tension, Alex sat up and moved over to him. "Not used to pet names then."

That little eye rolling habit that John had caused him to chuckle and so he lay down. Alex climbed over him again, his arms planted at either side of John and he's grinning down. Whatever was wrong he could make it better.

"You throw them around constantly, I'm not a baby." John sulked.

Alex gave a blissed sigh, "That's right, you're not a baby. Compared to me though, you kind of are."

"But you like them don't you?"

John's smile gave him away. "Knew it" says Alex.

"I'm not a baby though"

"Oh hun, if only you knew." Alex leans down and kisses him. Then his neck, his shoulder and then John begins to sit up, he's well rested now after that oral ordeal and he decides its time to probably return the favour. "You're so fuckin' sexy... you sure you're 21? Fucking hell."

John laughs. "I wouldn't lie to you Alex and anyway, don't I kind of owe you right now?' His gaze drops at Alex's throbbing member popping out of his jeans. Bright pink, glistening there with pre-cum. John's mouth started to water.

Crudely Alex then pulled away and sat back on his knees, he pulls out his cock and gives it a bit of a spin. John's mouth drops and he's laughing, shaking his head. "Alex" he did try to sound serious.

"You can suck me off baby boy," Alex says and he's getting off the bed, he's standing up now and gesturing for John to come closer with his finger. "On your knees though, I want a good view of you sucking this cock."

So John did, he was past the stage of shyness and he found it quite fun complying. He actually liked how commanding Alex sounded when he bossed him around. Telling him to suck harder, deep-throating was a bit of a bastard, god Alex was thick and John spluttered a few times but once he got the hang of it he went with it. Alex wasn't too rough with him, though John had a feeling if they hooked up again in the future then it may become more brutal.

"That's right, that's a good slut. You're the cutest little thing when you're sucking this cock. Hell, the best little cock sucker." John noticed just how Alex's words changed, he went from being filthy to more semi-sweet filth.

Continuing to explore with his tongue, John licked up erect length from its base. Though hesitant, he found he liked the crisp taste.

Encouraged by the sounds of pleasure that had begun rasping deep in Alex's throat. Once Alex's dick was slick with spit, John wrapped one hand around its base and took the head of that cock into his mouth staring Alex right in the eyes.

"Good boy, you suck that cock. Want my creamy load in you, huh baby boy? I'm gonna give it to you. Mm, just like that- fuck!"

Hearing Alex nearing his climax, John felt in control for the first time since he'd brought Alex back. Slipping his mouth off, Alex, John picked up the speed of his hand, pumping him vigorously until Alex's grunting increased and came with a wrenching shudder.

Just as the first of splurge of seed erupted from Alex's tip, John engulfed him again. He held Alex's cock in his mouth, until he was completely spent, even though the cum shooting down the back of his throat was surprisingly bitter.

"Swallow, every drop, don't you waste one bit of it." He huffs. Just for good measure, John feels Alex's fingers in his hair and he's bobbing his head while he finishes up with Alex's load. 

Finally, John felt Alex pull back, hearing him mutter a string of 'holy shits' under his breath and now Alex's length being too tender from its release to be comfortably held. Reluctantly John let Alex's waning cock slip out from between his lips.

As Alex was catching up composure, John fell backwards there on the bed and they locked eyes once again. He licked his lips, deviously grinning leaving John feeling cocky. "Who's the baby now, huh?" and he giggles at Alex's face.

Mocking, how very mocking.

For the first time since they'd met, Alex offered no words in reply.

John crawls back over to him when Alex re-joins him there on the bed and Alex discards the rest of his jeans, throwing them god knows where on the floor and he props himself up against the headboard.

"You're seriously something, y'know that. Full of surprises aren't you..." He's smirking at John. That's when he's also slipping off his sweater, only just now and John moves to help him out of it.

Now John is aware Alex is half his age, although he wouldn't really say that thirty-seven isn't too old since there was just sixteen years between them and it didn't surprise him when he noticed that Alex is a bit softer. He is far from being overweight, in actual fact he's in decent shape. He's a lean guy, bit of fluff on his tummy and chest but not too much. His arms weren't as sculpted as his own but they were nice enough. In all fairness Alex looked pretty good.

Alex notices his staring and he takes John by the chin to meet his gaze. "You like what you see then?"

"Mm," John moves in on his knees, shuffles over and lands a kiss on Alex's lips, between kisses he says, "For an older dude, you're... amazing."

He wasn't sure if he'd offended Alex, not that John had any intention of doing so but he worried he may have said the wrong thing. When Alex stops the kissing and he snickers, "What did you expect, a dad bod? Like thanks!"

"That wasn't what I meant!"

"I know, oh I know. So, you got a condom? You wanna ride me hun or am I gonna use those gorgeous curls of yours as reins, have you turn round and we take it from there?"

John thought back to the last time he had anal and shuddered off that awful memory. Truthfully he wasn't sure if he wanted to go any further tonight. There was a bond he could feel with Alex. Something more, he didn't really want to ruin and he could easily probably get Alex to take him but he wasn't going to ask. Not tonight at least.

Alex could sense his discomfort and from the loss of spark in John's face, he instantly knew this was where they were drawing the line. "Aw baby, we don't have to."

"It's not that I don't want to, uh I just, not tonight." John said quietly, he shuffled over next to Alex and budged up to him. "I just don't... feel ready yet."

He gave John a soft him and slipped an arm around him, snuggling back both down into the sheets. "Listen, I'm not pushing you into anything. If you don't want to, we don't have to. But I need to know... a little moment of truth here. Are you a virgin? It's fine if you are."

John looks back at him with wide eyes. "No, I'm not."

"Ooh, so you _have_ taken it up the ass?" Alex does giggle a little as John nudges his shin with his foot.

"Yes, Alex, I've taken. Only once though. It hurt like hell."

Alex gave an "ah" so he probably knew what John was talking about. He presses a kiss upside his head. "You need a man who knows what he's doing."

"An older one, like yourself?"

"Exactly that baby boy. I just didn't want you being emotionally scarred or some shit."

John took Alex's concern into consideration. After some more kisses, groping and little touches. John having blushed a new and lovely shade of pink, as Alex pressed himself between his thighs rubbing up against his own groin. Alex's hands slid cupping the curve of a plump ass cheeks and urged John onto his lap. While Alex had him balanced, he looked back up at John and into his eyes.

"I think I should be real with you here, I mean really real. I know I did ask you to dinner because I am interested in not only seeing you but perhaps... starting a certain arrangement."

John made a noise of confusion. Alex seemed to think it was adorable. "I admit, I am quite well off." Alex looks down for a second before meeting his eyes again. "Okay a bit more than well off... I'm not going into too much detail yet."

"So you have money" John states.

"Pretty much." He's squeezing John's cheeks round and round, John can feel himself harden but Alex chooses to ignore it this time. "I think you deserve a little more than what you have. How long have you got left in college?"

"I've practically just started, uh so three years. Why?" John had an idea as to what Alex was getting at but he was going to let him finish.

Alex smiles softy at him. "How are you paying for your tuition?"

This was getting a little weird now. "Family" He says. It was actually his mother's trust she'd left him but John didn't want to get into depth about her again.

"Wouldn't it be easier if I paid it? I could pay it all off tomorrow, that's if you wanted to keep seeing me though of course."

Nothing came for free in life. John knew this and he thought back to the joke Peggy made before he got his job at Lava Java. She had told him to sign up to a sugar daddy website and find someone to pay his way. John didn't think this would actually happen to him. The whole idea of having a sugar daddy, let alone sitting in a man's lap, a good looking and brainy one at that, half his age ask if he wanted to be his sugar baby because that is what Alex was proposing.

John didn't know if he had it in him. Then again he didn't really know what sugar babies were supposed to do, he knew sex was involved a lot of the time and nudes but other than that he had no clue, so he just had to go ahead and ask.

"Uh, wait um, what exactly would I be doing?"

Alex looks a bit thrown off. "Huh?"

"I'd basically be your sugar baby, right? So what do I offer you other than... just sex?" And John's voice goes small. Alex makes a disgusted looking face as he laughs.

"Aw god, I hate that term 'sugar baby'. It sounds so fucking cheap and you're far from cheap John Laurens." He goes.

"But well technically yeah, you would be. Honestly though, it's more than 'just sex' baby boy. You would come with me on business trips around the world, I pay for everything, all you would need to do is bring your passport and a bag. I would need you to maybe come with me to meetings, a few parties and perhaps a conference from time to time. You let me do the talking though." He laughed when he saw the way John looked at him. Of course, Alex would be doing the talking.

"I  can treat you, buy you what you what and I take you out to nice places. New York has so much to offer." And Alex is soothing John with his hands up and down his sides.

"But when I have free time, we could go anywhere you'd like, within reason though. I know I said I can help you financially, but it's about a lot of connection too. I feel that with you already. I think we could make a go of it, it would work baby boy. What do you say?" John didn't doubt for one second that Alex wasn't not being sincere. He still wasn't sure though.

As much as he liked Alex and was excited to see him again, John remembered just how bad he struggled finding a job and Lava Java took him on when he was desperate. "I just think I'd feel really bad if I quit my job though."

Alex lifts a hand and brushes a lone curl out of his face, tucking it behind John's ear. "Who said anything about quitting? Hun I want my coffee! Ha - nah, in all seriousness you do what you want. You don't have to quit or you can. It's cool, trust. But I would like you to have a think about it."

John could feel himself deflate now, there wasn't any pressure which was good. The idea of being arm in arm with Alex to fancy glitzy parties in the likes of Milan, Paris or Shanghai sounded so appealing to him. Being gifted with things he couldn't afford, showered with adoration and being treated to new, amazing foods was right up John's alley.

Maybe being Alex's sugar baby wouldn't be too bad. But with that everything was good so far and when John was about to tell Alex right away that he was down for it, Alex had to add.

"Just one more thing... fuck and I really hope I don't put you off now. But I _need_ to tell you."

He felt his stomach churn. "What is it?" John asks cautiously.

"I'm married".

 

* * *

 

John didn't go in work the next day because he needed some time to process everything. He just needed to think. Work was a good distraction but he knew Alex would be there and after last night John was far from in the mood to see him.

He couldn't believe after everything they'd done together and Alex even had the nerve to conquer up a negotiation about sugaring, asking John outright whether he would be his sugar baby. Then had the audacity to say he was a married man. John didn't want to hear anymore after that.

Alex had taken the hint, said he would be in touch and bid him goodnight. He looked a little hurt himself at the way John threw him out but John was the hurt one. He'd been led on and made to believe he was Alex's number one. He was being played and so was whoever he's married married to. Just thinking about Alex, stupid Alexander made him want to punch his face in.

**From: AlexisaDickhead, To: You:**

You're not at work?

 **From:** **AlexisaDickhead** **, To: You:**

John let me explain, please? If you give me a chance I can tell you everything.

 **From:** **AlexisaDickhead** **, To: You:  
**

It isn't what you think it is. **  
**

Now that made absolutely no sense and it boiled John's blood. How dare he make out like he was the victim. John was just about to type back to Alex and Alex must have been waiting for him to reply from the typing dots popping up because when he did, he was calling him.

He ignored the call and Alex called again. John left it ringing out and Alex didn't bother again after that.

When the next day after came around John had to go into work because they were hectic for the Christmas rush. Every member of staff was in, the coffee shop was heaving. John went into the back, changed into his uniform, clocked in and he was off his feet for the next four hours.

Once his break came around and he grabbed himself a quick caramel latte of his own before heading into the back. He saw Hercules was on his break too, reading up some Biology textbook for his exam. He looked up from his book at John and held out his fist for a quick first-bump before saying, "It's hella crazy out there bro... I have this exam just before Christmas vacation and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna fail."

"Nah, you'll pass Herc. You're smart as hell."

Herc puts the book down for a moment and says, "Charming as ever Laurens. Easy for you to say, all you do is draw."

John pretended to look offended. "Oh, oh really now? You try putting your sweat and tears into Adobe animate dude, then come back and tell me."

He laughs at John, grabs his work crumpled work apron from the table and tosses it at him in the face. "Hey!"

"By the way, you know your admirer-"

"My what?" John tosses his apron right back at him, Herc catches and he's slipping it back on.

"That one guy who's always by the window?"

John freezes. God, he's talking about Alex. Stupid Alex.

He tries not to give it away that he in fact hooked up with Alex, John had Alex's cock rammed down his throat and fingers toying with his asshole the other night. Of course he knew that 'one guy'. He knew him a bit too well. John is annoyed just thinking about him.

"Really?"

Then Herc looks back up at him sharply. "He was asking for you, wanted to know where you were bro."

Oh he didn't. John could kill him.

"Is that right?" and with that Herc is smirking away. "What?"

Hercules tries to pretend he's gone back to reading his textbook when really he's hiding that smile behind it. "Nothing, he just wanted to know where you were yesterday. Looked kinda shaken too."

John thinks on it, Alex was worried he'd ruined things. Well he couldn't miss what he didn't already have and for John, he didn't need that dishonesty. He had suffered enough trauma, pain and drama in the last few years of his life. He didn't need Alex.

"Poor dude" John shrugs, takes a mouthful of his coffee and walks off unbothered.

When it came towards the end of his shift and John cursed the gods for allowing him to yet again be on lock up. He paid no mind to the corner where Alex usually sat, he didn't glance over there at all in fear of it being an invitation for him to come over.

It was John, the boss and another member of staff for closing. John wanted to be in the back but got put on sweeping duty, as usual. There was wasn't as many customers in now since it was edging closer to nine at night. Just the three teenagers in the corner enjoying the rest of their hot chocolate, some old woman finishing up with her book and the two business men laughing together over lattes.

John got told to bring in the board from outside, he'd been quite proud of having the pleasure to draw up a Christmassy meme. Hercules thought it was awesome. As he's dragging it in that's when a pair of familiar snowy black boots come into sight.

"You want a hand with that?"

Alex is there with both hands in his pockets stood watching him from the doorway. John's head snaps up and he's glaring at him. Alex holds up his hands in defence, John drags the board into the shop and deliberately doesn't hold the door open for Alex when he comes in. Customer or not, he didn't give a fuck.

"Alright, I know what you're gonna say but please, John I just want to explain."

John's looking over at the remaining customers in the shop, some of them look up at them but they quickly decide they're not that interested. He turns back to Alex who's following him over to the counter.

"I'm working." He snaps.

He walks off back behind the counter and even though it isn't far away, it feels good to get away out of reach from Alex. Who has infact propped his elbows over and watches John dart around behind there. "I can see that, baby boy-"

"Don't!" John hisses. "I don't want your pet names..."

Alex doesn't look too hurt but he is obviously affected by John pushing him away. So he sighs and takes off his red beanie, rummages a hand through his own hair, it's out today and John didn't like to admit it looked good down.

"I know you're mad but if you just listen to what I have to say, you'll realise it isn't all that bad." He confesses.

John gives Alex a dismissive look and then picks up his cloth. Dunking it in the soapy bucket, swirling it around in thought.

"Hun, I'm not playing you. Just hear me out, kay?"

But John was such a sucker for him. One moment his life is boring, filled with piles of college work and working all hours at this coffee shop. Next minute there is this guy with those big gorgeous brown eyes, that are staring right back at him, he's got this sad look on his face and he's offering John the world. This didn't happen everyday to him and it may never happen again. Maybe he should listen to Alex.

"Fine," He huffs. "I finish in fifteen-"

"Mind if I have a coffee while I wait?"

John squints his eyes at Alex's cheeky, playful little smile. "Don't push it Hamilton." With that John keeps their eyes locked, hand reaching for the coffee's plug and he's ripping the thing out then walking off into the back.

Alex is left standing there bewildered. He's running on thin ice alright.

"Feisty little thing." He murmurs to himself. 

Finally it was time to go home and while John was saying bye to everyone, Alex was leaning against the wall outside the door and even bid his boss goodbye. He must have recognised Alex and was smiling, waving him back. It came across as no surprise to John, Alex ever the social butterfly.

Once his boss and other colleague were out of sight, Alex dragged John into a tender hug. Arms wrapping around John's waist, pulling him in tightly. 

With the flashing of fairy lights decorating the trees on the sidewalk, chilled evening air and sound of Christmas carols playing from a near by sax player, somewhere on the other end of town, made this hug feel all the more magical. John hated admitting to himself that he needed Alex whether he was married or not. There was something more, he knew it. 

He didn't hug back though, he had to prove a point, he was annoyed and when Alex pulled back he's mouthing he's sorry. John tells him not to worry about it and when Alex offers out his hand.

John takes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lord I'm on a role with this story! Sorry if the chapters are really long but I can't help myself. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always nice though guys! 
> 
> Shower me with love ;)


	3. A FEW BEERS AND THE TRUTH

They ended up in a small bar not too far from where John worked. It was a quieter one, a bit more sophisticated than the usual noisy jam-packed places in other parts of the city. John managed to snag them a booth in the corner while Alex ordered some drinks at the bar.

As he slid off his scarf John probably knew he looked quite agitated and nervous. He already knew what he was getting himself into, but being some rich dude's side piece still wasn't really what he wanted to be.

Alex came back carrying them some beers and scuffled in next to John, he was close but kept a respectable bit of space between them since things were still rocky.

John took a long and hard throw back of his beer shamelessly allowing out a small huff when he put half of it down. Alex was there resting his face in his hands, he hadn't even touched his yet. But he was watching him intently and it began grating on John's nerves since he hadn't said anything yet.

"What?" He goes.

Alex gently smiles at him, he's playing with a bit of scruff on his chin. "I take it that it's been a pretty long day then, hm?"

John leans back into the chair of the booth and sighs. "Oh god, yeah, if I have to make another spiced orange hot chocolate or Christmas frappuchino I'm gonna scream." He groaned. 

With a chuckle, Alex says "Jesus, here I was thinking it was a coffee shop. But you got through it, you're a trooper hun." 

"Mm, that's true." He responds softly. 

Sensing that the conversation may be dying down and there was a bit of silence between the two. John looking into space or more less over at the bunch of girls at the bar having a little dance between them, their screaming laughing filling the place for a second or two. Alex never takes his eyes off John and that is when he moves closer to him and he's reaching for John's hand there, curled around his beer. 

Alex squeezes it and that gets John's attention.

"I should probably tell you the full truth now and it isn't what you were thinking." He begins, John's cold stare is off-putting but Alex brushes it off and continues. "I'm married, to another man, yes. But we're in an open relationship, honey, he already knows about you."

John sits up at this and he's got shock pitched all over his face. It had to get worse didn't it. 

"What" He says.

As he is about to shift out of Alex's grip, he has his hand grabbed right back and Alex holds on tighter. "He knows, oh he's cool with it!"

"Wait - how can he be alright with it? I mean... you guys are married!" John doesn't understand how anyone would be fine with their partner dating and bedding someone else at all. If John was in Alex's husband's shoes, he'd be raising all hell. 

Alex moves that extra bit closer to him now so that their sides were properly touching. "Look, I get that it may not be understandable to you but honestly, it's totally fine with us. We've been hitched for a good number of years now and we were having relationships on the side before we got married. Hun, you don't have to worry." Alex ends with a light chuckle. He lifts up John's hand he's kept hold of and kisses it. 

John still doesn't look sure though. "Prove it."

With a hefty sigh, Alex budges to the side for a second to reach out his phone and then gets up his text messages. "I swear... baby boy, you really are hard work."

Alex is moving in closer again towards John and shows him the screen filled with messages.

 

**From: ♡ LaffyTaffy ♡, to you:**

How did the date go mon ange? X

  **From: You, to ♡ LaffyTaffy ♡:**

Amazing! i might go back to his later, that okay with you? XOXO

**From: ♡ LaffyTaffy ♡, to you:**

Of course, wear a condom mon petit. If you have any problems. You know the drill. X   

**From: You, to ♡ LaffyTaffy ♡:**

I ALWAYS do! OKAY LOVE YOU XOOX 

 

John had to do a double take at the messages between Alex and his partner, he could feel himself go light-headed and thought he was going to faint from such craziness. He had no idea how people could do this. Be okay with this type of thing. John questioned why, why out of all the cute men in the world did he have to get roped in with a guy who finally gives him the time of day, is actually decent looking and had to be married.

"That enough proof for ya?" 

With a nod, John took another swig of his beer and forces himself to finally speak. "So, what, am I a glorified home-wrecker now?" 

Alex had to laugh. "Far from it, me and Laf are tight as a knot. We tell each other everything! It's just that... we believe you can fall in love with more than just one person y'know. Me and him have been together over a decade. Been through a lot of shit together, put it that way. That doesn't mean I can't be intimate and fall for someone else?" At that very last part, his dark eyes met hazel and John felt his cheeks burn.

"I like you John, a lot. I want to keep seeing you and as I said about our... proposition. The offer still stands." Alex finishes smoothly, he reaches for a drink of his own beer and finishes it.

John has a good think for a minute, crossing his arms. He isn't sure still. 

"And your husband... he's... honestly okay? With the offer between us?" That's another thing John needed to know. He didn't want to be the center of blame causing a marriage to fail due to bankruptcy now. Alex licks his lips and grins nodding away.

"Baby boy, me and him are both _minted_. Laf is from France originally, his family are said to be Marquis. It's some, kinda, royalty or title there? I dunno, I think I pay more attention to the food and wine I get at meetings over there, more than the history." Alex snorts, roaming a hand down his face, looking a bit ashamed that he paid not much mind to his other half's home country. "Don't worry about that side of it all though. Infact, I shouldn't be telling you this... but we kind of like spending money on younger guys and girls?"

With narrowed eyes and a hint of jealously lacing his voice, John mutters, "You've done this before?"

Alex nods. "Yeah, it sounds bad, but we have more than we need? So, why not spoil someone who needs it more." And he's darting his eyes back to John, knowingly. Alex places his hand on the inner of his thigh, squeezes. "We enjoy it honey." 

So with everything said and done John has to admit that he did feel better. Trust Alex to be reading his mind.

"Is that a load off your mind now?" He asks.

"Yeah, yeah it is Alex." John confesses. "Wow"

Alex leans in so he can pop a kiss on his cheek, then his jaw and this time John gives in and he's kissing Alex right back. He supposes he feels less guilty now that he's got full permission to just go with it. Between kissing that is when it pops up into John's mind, he breaks away for a second to look at Alex's hands.

"Where's your ring though?" He hadn't seen Alex wear his wedding ring once.

"I do have a ring, I just choose not to wear it. Laf, however, he never has it off." He admitted, a little too honestly. They went back to kissing. 

"That's-" Another kiss. "Pretty seedy-Alex-" John rasps and then another kiss before Alex broke off. 

"But you're still here, kissing me. Aren't you baby boy." Between Alex's chuckle and their kissing, John could feel his hand creep up from his inner thigh and towards his crotch. John's eyes fly open and he remembers that they're in public.

He shrugs Alex off. "Alex... there are people around us!" 

"So?" His hand is palming the growing bulge in his jeans and John quietly whimpers. "Mmm... I've missed that."

John rolls his eyes at him and isn't pleased at the devious way Alex is biting his bottom lip.

"So we leave and do this" He's dropping his eyes down to Alex's wondering hand. "-or we stay, you stop." John wasn't used to public affection that much and it was still quite new to him. Let alone being groped for the world to see.

With that Alex is standing up from his seat and is straightening himself. John takes it as a sign that they're taking their little antics elsewhere for the evening. So he does the same, he slips back on his jacket and Alex is already dragging him out the booth before he even has time to zip up. 

"You're so impatient!" John cries and he's reaching for his beer as he's being stirred away. "My beer!"

"Fuck the beer, baby boy I need you, like right now." 

But John did manage to stop Alex for a second though, while he gets one last swig of beer and then he's ushered out of the bar. He had no idea where they were going, whether it was to his place again, a nearby hotel or what. It's snowing again when they're stumbling out the bar and into the cold street. Alex has John's arm linked with his own, not caring about the stares some gave them at all.

John admired that confidence about Alex, he didn't care what others thought. It kind of made him wish he could get away with the likes of this display of affection back in Charleston. But people were too ignorant where he came from, especially his father.

God, what would his father think. 

"You okay there, kitten?" Alex asks. 

John looks at him rather confused, a bit zoned out. "You look a bit unsure, you still want to do this?" 

With a small smile, John is nodding. "Ah, sorry. Just cold. Yeah, sure." 

Alex's arm on his tightens and he whispers into his ear, "Won't be when I'm done with you." and excitement pulses through John's entire body, mostly his cock. "Your place again or do I get to finally show you mine?"

The hot breath of Alex's voice was enticing and tickled the insides of his ear. John crunched up his shoulder since it sent shivers almost. He had yet to see Alex's apartment, it was probably some amazing complex with rooftop pools, gold plated door handles and jacuzzi baths. Then it hit John, Alex's husband. 

"Won't your husband be home?" He had to ask. 

To John's surprise Alex is shaking his head. "Not tonight. He's actually gone away on business for a couple of days back to Paris. God help us all, he'll be bringing back piles of these nice cheeses and fancy pies. So if you wonder why I've gained ten pounds baby, that's why." Alex tells him and John is laughing. "And oh yeah! Whenever one of us wants to bring someone back, we usually keep out of the way. But he said you're welcome to come over. It is, _both_  our place after all." 

Ah, so that was how it worked. 

"Right... cool. I just wondered if he was gonna be there." John says, he sighs thankfully. 

"Why? You want him to come watch? I _can_ get him to if you want." Alex teases and John swats him lightly. "I'm joking!" 

When they reached the end of the street this was when Alex stopped and so did John. "So which will it be?" 

"Mine, if that's alright." John still had to build up a bit more trust with Alex. 

"Sure thing, you do know that I could easily be a serial killer right?" He says. "Oh, baby, your face!" Alex laughs at John's astonished face.

He puts out his hand there on the curb, "C'mon, I'll grab us a cab." 

 

* * *

 

John's dorm room was almost as if Alex owned it, he strut in there, launching his red beanie off over on John's desk, ripping off his jacket and tossing it over the hook. Immediately jumped back on to John's bed while he waited for John to join him. 

"Baby boy, what's taking you so long!" Alex whined. 

He hadn't even finished getting off his own jacket and scarf yet. "Alex, you really are so... impatient!" John mutters. "Give me a minute, yeah?" 

As he's unwinding his scarf and somehow, god knows how but a strand of his curls are tangled in with the scarf's holes. In fact John was used to this happening but he just didn't have the heart to throw the old thing away. Alex realised what had happened and he's up front the bed, chuckling away to himself at John's struggle.

"You gonna help?" He says, glaring back up at Alex as he's watching. 

"Oh come here, god. How did you even manage that?" Alex laughs. He's there in an instant helping untangle John's hair through the holes and in seconds its free. 

A sigh. "It happens all the time, just never this bad." John says. 

Alex takes hold of the long scarf and he's carelessly tossing it around his own neck, flamboyantly flashes his eyelashes and goes, "Oh, how do I look my darlin'?" John rips off the scarf from him and he's placing it on its hook. 

"Seriously Alex, stop. I don't want it ruined anymore than it already is," John bites. He knows its ridiculous and all but the scarf is precious. 

Alex is eyeing it up with a "pfft" all while saying, "It's falling to pieces. I'm surprised it hasn't got up, walked its way to the trash. Why're you even keeping it?"

"Because it's off my mother." John said sternly. Alex stood stiff.

"She made it for me before she... you know." Silence washed over the pair of them and Alex's smile fell soft. He puts his hands lightly on John's shoulders, faces him and places a sweet kiss in the center of his forehead. John gets it, he's sorry. He reaches for one of Alex's hands and he's rubbing it with his thumb in circles. "I just can't throw it out and every... every winter I wear it."

"You don't have to explain to me, baby doll. I get it." Alex says quietly. "I know that feeling, loss, it's pretty shit and it never really goes away. But hey, I'm here. I got you." 

John looks back into Alex's eyes and the sincerity laid there bare for him to see. It had John thinking maybe this offer could be worth taking up. Alex seemed to care about him. 

"I got you, okay, I got you." 

It was in that moment that they both found themselves coming together like magnets. John hungrily finding his fingers in Alex's wispy long hair and Alex's hands fumbling under John's shirt. "Get it off, get it off, gettitoff" John is chanting as they're kissing. Alex does as John pleas, he's un-doing his shirt and off that comes meeting the floor.

Alex takes a moment out though to just appreciate John's toned tummy. He's doing oral worship thing again like he did the other night, kissing and nuzzling like a cat on fluffy socks.

Then between a lingering kiss, Alex plops down on the edge of the bed and John climbs each leg up at either side of Alex, so he's straddling his lap. With hungry kisses, tongues roped with one another's and Alex's travelling hands, they cheekily dip down John's briefs in his jeans and claw his backside. As he does this, Alex causes them both to fall backwards and John makes the most sweetest yelp.

"Aw yes, baby boy... that's right... come to daddy!" 

Well that was new.

John never knew just how much one simple word could make his dick twitch that much. Alex had never called himself 'daddy' before. It felt a tinge shameful to hear it but John found that he actually, liked it. He knew a fair bit about kinks, only from looking around Tumblr and some other forums but he never thought between fucking, that he'd  actually get to hear it himself. 

"Did you just..." John quietly says, trailing off and he's looking down at Alexander, who's lay there in pure joy with a stupid smile and hungry eyes.

"Did I what?"  
  
"You just called yourself 'daddy' Alex" 

He can feel Alex's grip on his ass firm and the tips of his fingers peel into his crack. "That's what I am, baby boy." 

"Daddy though, seriously!" Johns scoffs. 

Alex pulls an unbothered face and shrugs there below him. He slips his hands out of John's briefs and slaps them back down there on his backside. John lets out a small moan at the gesture. "Mm. I mean you've got 'papa', or there is 'papi', yeah, papi works just fine too". 

John just shakes his head, he's trying to hide his smile by chewing his lips. He couldn't believe this. 

"I'm not calling you either of those."

Then Alex arches up a brow. "So it's daddy then, yeah?"

Alexander Hamilton really was something else. He takes John's shy smile as acceptation and grins himself. 

"I'll take that as a 'yes' kitten." Alex gives him another spank for good measure, John lets out another quick moan. "Alright then, daddy wants you to slip off those jeans and underwear. Can you do that for me?"

His tone sounded more controlling, it wasn't pressurising but it felt gentle and trickled John's ears like sweet honey. He liked this side of Alex and wanted more. Standing up from his position on Alex's lap, John starts to unbuckle his belt, that goes on the floor and he's taking off his jeans. Alex is lay back on his elbows watching, he's got one of his legs curled at the back of John's legs and he's guiding him inwards. 

"Get them off, now." He commands.

John does as he's told and off come his briefs. "No turtles today?" Alex jokes. John flips him off and tosses him a sarcastic smile. 

Alex then leans in and gives him such a smack right on his bare ass. "Ow!"

"Don't be cheeky." Alex scolds. "Right, baby, I need you to hop back on board here, c'mon on my lap." And Alex is patting himself, John figures its best to just go along with it and so he does. Alex is pervertedly watching as John's balls and cock jiggle when he clambers on to the bed. Alex is then sitting up, moving John on to lie on his back and John does as he's told. 

As Alex gestured for him to lie down and slide backwards so that he was closer, as he did Alex roamed his hands up and down John's lean sides. While doing this, he gets himself comfortable there on his stomach and began parting John's legs open. 

Alex clasped John's thighs with his hands and pushed them open some more. John was beginning to get exquisitely tortured by the feel of Alex's laboured breaths on his sensitive skin.

As Alex nuzzled his soft, full sac. His tongue tasted the sweet flesh and Alex took turns teasing one ball and then the other gently with his mouth. He pulled away for a moment and studied John admiringly. "Damn, baby boy, you're unreal." He says dreamily. 

Once Alex was finished lavishing John's balls, Alex went straight for his length. His mouth suddenly took it, dipping it back in and out as his tongue traced all his veins. Alex began licking him eagerly from base to his pearling slit. Then Alex slipped his mouth over John's pre-cum slicked tip. He began to bob his head between John's legs, drinking his complete girth, all the way down. He reached up with one hand, seeking again, hungrily raking a hand up John's toned tender chest. Going from one nipple to the next, tracing them, hardening them. As John's moans increased, Alex only went faster.

"Alex... oh god... shit... Alex-ah!" John squeaked.

Alex had actually nipped him right on his cock. John looks from over his chest and Alex waves a finger at him. "You now what I'm called"

John lies his head back down and groans. "Fine... daddy?" He frowns at his own choice of wording. It felt weird saying it. Then Alex lifted a thumbs up and got on with sucking him off.

John's breathing grew increasingly ragged. His hips bucked upwards as he sought relief from the mounting tension building to a fevered pitch in his groin.

Alex gazed up at him and he smiled cheekily around John's cock. His boy was lay upon his elbows now, eyes closed with rosy freckled cheeks biting his bottom lip. He kept watching him, every so often John would loose his cool and release a moan or two. He even tried stopping himself by covering a hand over his mouth.

Alex stayed where he was, his throat sheathed around John's shuddering shaft. He swallowed every salty drop of his salty essence.

Although Alex wasn't sure if he was getting a bit too carried away here. Whether this was going too fast for John or not, since Alex's now spit-slicked fingers found John's entrance. He toyed with it to start with but didn't enter. "You okay with this, hm?" 

Slowly slipping out of his daze, John returned back to the present and he's looking over at Alex. "Huh?"  
  
"Am I allowed to play with your ass baby?" Alex asks, pressing a finger at his puckered entrance and continued to tease it. "It's just that last time you weren't sure... what would you like to do?" 

John still didn't feel like they were ready to have sex just yet. Things were still pretty new between them and it felt good to have some form of build up. But he did know eventually he would have to give Alex what he wanted, if they were going to go in deeper with this 'relationship'. 

"Uh, I don't mind you fingering me." He says through his panting. "Just no cock, not yet."

"Ooh, oh great, so can I eat you?" 

John giggles at how happy Alex sounds. "Knock yourself out" and so Alex did.  

One finger traced his tight pucker before it made a gentle inquiry into his eager opening and slid in and out a few times, preparing him. John embraced the welcome shock of fingers, prying open his backside. He gripped the bedsheets nervously, bracing himself as Alex's head sank between his legs.

Jesus it had been ages since he'd felt anyone else other than himself inside him like this. It felt foreign but not too bad.

John's toes curled even more until they made a 'crack'. Taking a deep breath through his nose, John tried calming himself like this as minutes passed. Once he felt the roughness of Alex's tongue even brush against him, John  went back to closing his eyes. He couldn't help the way his legs were twitching either and every lick Alex gave caused his inner thigh to jitter.

"You taste sweeter than candy kitten," Alex says and he shoves his tongue up there deeper. John's eyes roll back and he's out. He's gone.

Alex had to experiment with fingers and tongue, and play around before he found John's internal sweet spot. As soon as he did, biting his lip with a grin he went straight for it and probed it like no tomorrow. John made a high-pitched kind of noise and that let Alex know.

"Jackpot!" He cries and he prods it again causing John to give out another moan. "Bing! Alexander, you have just been made a millionaire. Aw, shucks. It's not like I'm already one or anything, y'know-" John wailed when Alex puts more pressure down on his prostate and he's frustrated.

"Stop joking around!" He cries. "More! Shit... more."

With a cruel laugh Alex taunts the area even more. "Ooh you like that, don't cha? Dirty boy."

John stifles another cry. "That's right, daddy found your happy spot'. 

"Do you have to call it that?!" John whined.

There he was with Alex's fingers up his ass, half dying while the other half was in pure bliss and Alex was joking around.

"Nah, I don't hun, but it certainly  _pleases_  you."

John's frown vanished once Alex started stroking it. The sounds of pleasure John tried to keep caged in his throat escaped, emerging in soft moans and ragged gasps.

"Tell daddy just how much you want this," Alex goes in hardcore, fingering John at top speed and he goes right back to his cock, drinking him in mercilessly. John is almost at the point of tears because god, it feels better than heaven. Alex slips off his cock, salvia stringing its way from the tip of John's cock to the bottom of Alex's lip. "Tell daddy you want his thick cock fucking you next, gotta beg here baby boy otherwise I'm not letting you cum." Now that's cruel. 

John is wailing, head back and he looks like he may actually start crying. "But I need to!" 

"Tell daddy, c'mon baby, you gotta speak up!" 

Well that was it for John, he couldn't hold back anymore. "Fuck! Daddy, I want you to fuck me- need more fingers- daddy finish me off- need you now!" He moans desperately. 

Alex's grin is pure evil. "I don't think you've earn it just yet... say it like you mean it!" 

 _"Daddddddy!"_ John cries and he's thrashing his legs around childishly, Alex basks in the sight and he looks so proud right now. 

"That's my boy."

He got him finished off. After that Alex sat up, wiping his mouth and licking up any remaining seed, he decided to give John a few minutes to rest before anything else. Alex watched over him with this crude content smile on his face. John was busy basking in his orgasm, all happy and flustered. When he came round, he saw Alex there staring at him. So he covered his face with his hands and gave Alex a harmless kick in the side.

"Oh honey, you've just had my tongue up your ass and only _now_ are you getting shy?" John made this muffling sound, so Alex had no idea what he was saying of course. He leans over and stripped John's hands away from his face. Alex chuckled through his nose before capturing John's lips. When breaking the kiss he quietly asks, "You did good, you really are a good boy."

John couldn't look Alex in the eyes properly, he felt so exposed and a little shy after calling him what he wanted. It was so different from anything he'd done previously in bed but deep down he liked it. He wanted to call Alex that more often. It felt good. Alex slipped a hand around John's neck where he played with his curls, twisting and turning them around in his fingers.

Meeting each others eyes for what felt like forever. "Little Bambi-eyes you is what you are," Alex coos and he moves in to kiss John's lips. It was sweet and quick. 

"You're all sticky now, can I wash you up?" Alex asks, all the gentleness in his voice making John melt.

With a nod, they gets up and John's legs are wobbly. Alex holds him up for balance and as they're making their way to the bathroom, John stops and he's moving for Alex's shirt at its hem and curling it up. 

"Er, John?" Alex goes along with it though, John helps him remove his shirt completely and its discarded elsewhere. "What're you-"

"I want you to shower with me." John's eyes are hazy, pretty hazel and lovestruck. "Daddy, please." 

Well that sure did it. Alex was pleased.

He gave John a sexy smirk, glad finally to have John playing along into this role properly and Alex wastes no time, he's quick to remove his jeans. Their shower was hot and steamy, involving lots of heated kissing and a good grope of one another. John even had Alex washing his hair, he was surprised when Alex recognised the brand of shampoo and conditioner "mixed curls" he used. Apparently his husband was half-black himself and Alex mentioned how he was used to managing his curls too. 

He was kind enough to comb and detangle his curls, as John was about to tie them up Alex told him to leave his hair down because he liked that style more now. John rolled his eyes and tells him to make up his mind. 

John offers to wash Alex's hair since he assumes he is spending the night this time. Alex lets him and John promises not to get soap into his eyes. He finishes combing Alex's hair and John finds it amazing just how easily, quickly the comb glides through his hair. Alex actually laughs at his astonishment, just because. 

It takes forever for them to finally get out of the shower, Alex promises to pay for John's next water bill and they're out, with steam filling up his room and John is the one dragging Alex this time. They're both butt naked, the cold stinging their bodies but still both hot from their ordeals together. John pushes Alex back on his bed, he's starting to love doing that and Alex seems to notice from the bright grin on John's face. 

Heart racing as John drops to his knees infront of Alex, he's parting his knees and pushing himself between them. John purposely has his ass out, sways it a little making it all that more inviting and mouth-watering for Alex. He goes right ahead and he's on Alex's cock without another word. 

"God yeah, that's it." Alex groans and he's got his head tipped back there. Basking in this delight was the best feeling in the world right now. He closes his eyes and allows John to get on with it, between sucking John is closing his own eyes and he's staring up at Alex. Knowing he's doing what he's supposed to be doing, he's being good and his daddy was pleased. 

John goes back to bobbing his head, sucking harder and whirling his tongue round, round and round. "Oh shit, fuck. Good boy, fuck, yeah." Alex's fingers are mingling with John's curls and all of a sudden John grunts in surprise when Alex hitches his hips into his mouth. He didn't expect to have his mouth fucked into and John isn't sure what exactly to do at first. He gets that he's supposed to just take it and so he lets it happen. Alex's grip in his hand tightens and John whimpers between all the spit and pre-cum that's building up. 

"You like that baby boy? Love taking daddy's juicy thick cock in your pretty little mouth, huh? Ah- oh- god fuck!" Alex moans. "Perfect you are- shit!" 

Knowing Alex was probably close John did one better and to just please him that bit extra, he takes back Alex's cock in his hand and he's got his tongue out there waiting while jerking Alex off. When he eventually came all of his milky seed splurging onto his tongue, Alex hummed in approval at the scene and massaged his fingers through John's hair some more gently. 

"Oh my god, you look so perfect right now... those wet curls and you taking my spunk. Fuckin' gorgeous." 

Alex was more than satisfied.

He uses his thumb to wipe the corners of John's mouth and he's sucking off his thumb for any leftovers. They sit there panting for a moment or two until John gets up on the bed beside Alex and lies down. He's absolutely exhausted by this point. 

Alex sits up and he's getting the hair tie from around his wrist then tying it up in his signature bun. He looks over at John who's lay on his front, looking entirely pooped and watching him through half-lidded eyes. "I like it better when it's down"

"It's a nuisance to sleep with it down," says Alex.

Then John's eyes suddenly lit up, he's awake again. "You're staying over?"

With a nod, Alex gets up for a second to go switch off the light and the one in the bathroom. He grabs the crumpled sheet and he's climbing back into bed beside John. 

"That's unless you find another reason to kick me out again," He jokes and gives John a poke in his side. 

John shifts on to his side and pulls up some of the sheet Alex is covering them both with. "Don't give me a reason to and I won't." 

Alex is giving one of his curls a playful tug and John swats him with his foot. It's already twelve but they decide to watch something, Prison Break to be exact since they both agreed Wentworth Miller was sexy as fuck on John's laptop, in the hopes that it would get them to drift off. They're half-way through when the side of them lights up, John cranes his head to see that it's Alex's phone there on his nightstand. Alex notices and he's moving to grab it. 

He lazily takes hold of it and scans his sleepy eyes over the message. John sees the way Alex is smiling, adoration filled and John's stomach sinks.

John had an idea of just who it may be. Jealously bubbles in his blood and he knows he shouldn't be. There was no chance for them if he was going to be defensive constantly  and already he was getting attached. Too attached for his own good.

Alex was still reading whatever he'd been sent and so John had to break away his attention. He felt needy. 

"Daddy" He all but whispers, the movie is low enough for Alex to hear him. 

Alex turns his head over to John there in the dark and he's met with one of the most passionate kisses, they've probably had since the first time they'd kissed outside the station. 

"Damn... baby boy." He left Alex all but breathless. "What was that for?" 

John takes Alex's phone right out of his hands, moving over him for a second and he's careful he doesn't show his annoyance when he places it down a bit too hard. When really he wanted to bang the fucking thing down. Alex was his right now.

He takes Alex's cheeks, a tad maybe too posessivly and kisses him deeply again, thumbs intwining his scruff. John pulls away and smiles against his lips. "Just happy" 

Alex gives an 'aw' aloud and wraps his arms around John, rocking them back and forth there under the sheets. John holds him back and he can't help but wonder, worry even just how long this newfounded happiness will last for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Alex is now official daddy guys ;) 
> 
> Also mixed curls the hair products are amazing (i got curls too)! they smell like pineapples ;p 
> 
> I love kudos and comments so please do share! Im gonna take a small break and maybe update next week since I'm on a roll with this story ;D so please be patient for the next chapter xo


	4. HOT BATHS AND TEARS

It was the weekend and with John seeing Alex on and off whenever he could he apparently wasn't giving Peggy, Eliza and Angelica enough of his time. So since it was his day off for the first time in what seemed like ages on a weekend, he was going out.

With Eliza having to work her shift at LUSH since the Christmas season was chaotic and everyone just felt the need to buy pink, glittery bath bombs for their precious little munchkins, there was no way Eliza could get out of working. What John couldn't understand is that Eliza had enough money herself, the Schuyler sister's father was loaded but Eliza found work fun, she was too nice and didn't want to let her team down.

Angelica was off out on a date with some guy from her course and she was hell bent on not scaring him away it this time. So that left John with just Peggy and truthfully he was glad because she, her alone, really was his actual best friend. John felt as if he could fully relax with her and be himself.

They planned to meet up at one of their favourite hang-outs which was like a combination of a coffee shop, library and department store all in one. Peggy with her bright pink beats on just tucked under her beanie was waving as soon as she saw John. John didn't know how she wasn't cold wearing a pair of fish-nets underneath her short skirt and slip on battered vans.

She always looked so flashy, dressed unique and fashionable, it always made him feel really boring. Since John was from the south, there wasn't a great deal of really fashionable hot-spots. So he didn't really know that much about fashion and that always became the butt of a joke between him and the Schuyler sisters, for a gay man he really didn't know much about clothes.

"Hey Pegs' He says and she greets him with a one armed hug. Then a shove on his shoulder. John looks at her all defensive. "What was that for?!

"Where have you been?! It's been weeks since I've seen you, oh my god. The hell John!" She cries.

John rolls his eyes as he laughs, he slips an arm around her shoulders as they walk on into the store. "I know, I know. I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you though."

"I want a double chocolate frappuchino, a brownie and a tomato-chicken-pesto baguette," She grumbles. "You get me that and I'll consider recalling you my best friend."

He laughs even more at her. God she could be so touchy, girls though. "Sure, sure. Ha! I'm just glad it isn't me making it this time!" It felt good to finally have a day off and let someone else handle the Christmas menu for a change.

So they went to their usual cafe inside, John got Peggy what she wanted and he already knew she would be buying next time. It was nice to treat her for a change since it was always the other way around. John got himself a cinnamon buttered bagel and a large hot chocolate.

They're half way into tucking into their food and Peggy, as per usual has devoured half her food within minutes. John has no idea how she does it, she eats faster than anybody he knows.

"Jesus Pegs... did you taste that?" John taunts.

Peggy kicks him under the table. "Shut it" She says between chewing, she has her hand covering her mouth. At least she had manners.

John is barely even half-way through his bagel yet. "One day you're gonna choke, you know that."

She washes it down with a large gulp of her frap. "You didn't grow up with Angelica, now she's the real food monster."

He snorts a laugh at her. "No, I didn't. But I grew up with four other siblings and even they don't chow down as quick as you Peg. Although, I'm not sure. Jimmy can be a greedy little brat... it'd be funny to see you to compete." John wasn't lying either.

James was probably the greediest in the house back at home. It became so bad that after a grocery shop, John got fed up of having to drive back out to the store to refill whatever he bought for himself and that in the end he actually bought himself one of those mini refrigerators for his room. Just so he could hide his snacks.

But at his remark, the fire in Peggy's eye instantly grew.

"I accept that challenge, next time your little brother is in New York. Bring it."

Despite James being barely old enough to travel alone, they put a bet on it anyway and when their laughter died down, so did the conversation which had Peggy staring at John in a way which he knew she was considering something. She was thinking, deep and hard.

"What?" John asks.

Peggy finished up her food and then went straight to finishing up her frap. "Nothing," She says. "Well... it isn't but... me, Ange and Liza were just wondering where you've been is all. I get that you're busy with work and college but we kinda miss you John. Actually no-" She waves off her hand. "We miss you fuck tons! Seriously, dude where have you been?!"

John gave a sigh. He hadn't told Peggy or her sisters about Alex yet. She had literally no clue the man even existed and it felt a little mean to not only leave her out but John thought back to Alex. How he had fully admitted to telling his husband all about John and that maybe it wasn't fair.

"I should have told you sooner, like a lot sooner but uh, there's this guy-" John is instantly cut off.

"Wait, what? Oh my christ, you've got a boyfriend and you didn't even-" She kicks him under the table and John is left gasping in pain at from the thump on his shin. "Tell me!"

"Damn Peg, that hurt! You gotta kick me like that? You're outta your mind, Jesus, fuck." Peggy leans back in her seat, crossing her arms, as she's watching John nurse his now probably bruised leg.

"Tough titty said the kitty but the milks still good!" She chirps.

John gives her a cut look scoffing, "That's real old Peg..."

She waves him off. "Whatever! I can't believe you didn't even tell us. So you gonna tell me about him?"

John watches her toss her bush of curls over her shoulder. As cute as she looks, he's convinced she's the devil within. Secretly worse than Angelica.

"What is this, fifty questions?" He snarks back.

Peggy giggles. "We could play that if you want. First, what's his name?" She asks.

"He isn't my boyfriend Peg." John wasn't sure what they were at this given time. They were in that stage of fucking around, going on dates but neither of them had crowned themselves with the title of 'boyfriend'. "He's called Alex"

"God that's vanilla" She says and John is smirking. If only she knew. "So he's good in bed then?"

"What makes you think that?" And John's smirk turns into a full blown smile.

She balls her eyes. "You haven't... oh god, you have haven't you. What is it with you and hopping into bed with the first dude that lays eyes on you. Don't you remember what happened with that other guy? What was his name... Francis?"

John groans aloud at the memory of that very first guy he had been with at the start of the semester. It didn't last long, John was the one who got hurt, well not too hurt but it didn't end well.

"Alex is nothing like him. You trying to say I'm easy?"

Peg shakes her head. "No, I just don't want you getting hurt John. You were already upset as it is, what, with your dad and all... then that loser went and cheated on you. I still can't believe that."

She was so sweet sometimes, John knew Peggy cared a hell of a lot about him. She'd do anything for him as a friend and John also knew he wore his heart on his sleeve. Sure, it wasn't a good thing and John had to admit that he was a bit of a romantic at heart. But he did believe there was a good guy out there waiting for him. Whether it was Alex or not, that was an understatement.

"How did you and this... Alex meet then?"

"At work, he's one of our regulars." He answers honestly. Because what is what Alex was.

Peggy's brow drew up and she's leaning closer on the table. "Seriously? The fuck did that happen?"

"Well, he just asked for my number one night. We text, we met up and that's what happened." John shrugged. "I know, It's like something you'd see on netflix."

"Damn, why can't this shit happen to me! So how old is he? Does he go to our college?"

This is where things were going to get rocky. John's eyes drop and instantly Peggy knows. She knows him too well.

"No," Her voice lowers. "John, how old is he?"

"Old enough to know better," He responds and he's biting his lip. He can't look Peggy in the eyes. "Oh don't judge me Peg."

Well this dragged back her interest. "Shit... John, how old is he?"

"Just a little older, nothing too bad." John had to wince at his words, that was a lie. Alex was definitely much more than a 'little older' and he knew Peggy would flip even more when he told her about their arrangement. But he didn't have to tell her that bit. Not yet anyway.

"How much older?"

"Past thirty" and he's darting his eyes away from Peggy's intense glaring.

"32?"

"Older"

She scoffs and blinks for a second. "Oh boy, John. Right, uh, 34?"

"He's 37" John finishes quickly. He may as well just tell her and get it over with.

"Holy fuck." She says flatly.

She was twiddling with her lip ring, Peggy goes back to just staring at John and eventually their eyes meet. John sighs."I know, it's crazy." He says. "But we really hit it off and I like him. Isn't that what should matter most?"

Peggy is slurping up the last of the remains of her frap, she's making that annoying noise to the point where John has to snatch it away from her. "Peg" He says softer. "He won't hurt me".

Then its her turn to sigh, there's a mixture of concern, worry and god knows what else there in her expression. She knew just how worked up and torn apart John could get when things went wrong for him.

"Isn't it weird though that he's a lot older? He could be your uncle, Christ."

John can feel a sweat build up, god help if she knew what John really called Alexander. She would never let him live it down.

"Alex isn't like that."

Looking apprehensive as ever she says, "Just promise me you won't let him take advantage of you, I'm not saying he is or anything. But we on your guard at least... don't let this one take the piss outta you spots." Balling her eyes she adds, "You're becoming more trusting than 'Liza, what am I gonna do with you both. God."

John just ends up smiling at her. "You're getting soft peg," He says and she nudges him under the table. "Alright, alright. You'll be the first to know if things go wrong, okay?"

"Good" She says, happier. "I don't care how old this dude is, I'll kick his ass." and John's laughing again.

After their stop at the cafe the pair of them decide to hit it off at a few stores. Meaning John trail around with Peggy at her favourite stores, when they first started doing this it was quite awkward, since John usually waited outside the changing room and assistants would either try and cadge his number or ask if he was waiting or his girlfriend.

Sure he went shopping sometimes with his sister Martha but the pair of them looked like twins, so it was obvious, but with Peggy not so much.

It was normal to him now anyway, John didn't mind and as Peggy was trying on a few clothes, John was sat on one of the seats outside. He felt a vibration in his pocket and he expected the text to be from work, asking him to come in because they were a bit busier than usual even with it being the Christmas period. But his heart sped up and his cheeks went a deeper colour of red when he saw the green speech bubble from Alex or well 'daddy'.

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

ey baby boi what you up to?

John had to look around to see whether or not Peggy are just there behind him, looming over him getting ready to tease the living hell out of what he called Alex. Luckily she wasn't and John dove back into his phone to reply.

**From: You, To: Daddy:**

Just out with a friend

 **From: Daddy, To: You:** **  
**

cool cool... wanna meet up later tonight? ;)

Truthfully John didn't really feel up to it. He was already exhausted from getting his college projects really for submission since they were on the brink of finishing for the Christmas holidays.

Plus with all the shifts he'd been doing at Lava Java and recovering from his cold. John truthfully wanted to spend the evening in his bed, gorging on junk and resting. How he managed to go for a good long jog that morning, do a whole grocery shop, finish one of his essays and then find the energy to meet Peggy was anyone else's guess.

But he really wanted to see Alex again no matter how drained and rotten he felt.

**From: You, To: Daddy:**

Sure, just let me know when and where.

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

6 good for u baby? u working? wait where are u?

**From: You, To: Daddy:**

Yeah, 6 is fine. We're in the city right now... uh not far from the big Macys

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

great you stick around there baby boi and ill meet you later

Just as John was about to give an 'okay' he's startled by Peggy who jumps out of the fitting room and she's there striking a pose in this bright pink pinafore dress with a black glittery turtle neck underneath. "So, how'd I look?"

John's eyebrows fly upwards and he's trying to not laugh. "Right, as much as I love you. I gotta be cruel to be kind here... that's fucking hideous baby girl."

And he ducks giggling when she launches one of the ballet pumps from out the fitting room at him.

* * *

After a couple more hours of shopping and one last drink together at some newly opened milkshake bar, both Peggy and John parted with a kiss and a hug then said their goodbyes.

John stuck around in the city a little longer, he was just glad that he had the day off tomorrow too, so he could properly rest up. John still had an hour to kill before meeting Alex outside Macys and so he went venturing a book store.

John remembered he was a bit low on cash and was currently waiting to be paid at the end of next week. He only had enough to last him until then, it was annoying because he really wanted one of the new volumes from his favourite author and there was this amazing new tablet that just came out too. It would work wonders for his projects but again, money was an issue.

Sighing he left the store although he was tempted to dip into his trust, get out that particular credit card and buy those things but he couldn't. They weren't nessessities he needed. He thought back to Peggy and how she just maxed out her card buying whatever she wanted. He loved her but it was kind of ridiculous just how much her and her sisters spent. If he were really honest he could go as far as saying he was jealous.

Now outside of Macys, John waited for Alex and this time he wasn't late which came as a surprise.

Alex was calling John from the other end of the street, all wrapped up with his red scarf tucked into his black peacoat and he had his hair up in its bun today. John walked down to meet him and he could have swore his insides melted at Alex's toothy smile. He always looked so happy to see him and that always made John more excited for their ordeals.

As he drifted into Alex's arms for a brief hug, John was certain he had never noticed the lone stud in Alex's ear before. He didn't know Alex had piercings and it makes him look so much younger too.

"What is it?" Alex is asking when he sees the way John is examining his ear.

John is biting his lip as they break away. "Just didn't know you had that before" he says, pointing to Alex's ear.

"Oh my piercing? Pfft, I had it years. I had them all over my ears back in the day. Had to take them out when I became an elite member for the tycoon train though, assholes I work with can get funny about it. But its been a while so I thought 'fuck it' and decided to show off to ya" Alex says with a cheesy wink. John's stomach churned and he's flustered. "You into it?"

Of course he is. "Alex, you're out to get me, know that? Damn."

Alex is grinning cheekily. He leans in to peck a quick kiss on John's cheek and tucks in a stand of hair behind his ear. "Maybe... with the way we're heading baby boy, I can see myself claiming you as _mine_ pretty soon".

Shivers were spiralling down John's body and it wasn't because of the cold either. Alex takes hold of John's gloved hand and they're walking off together down the street. John can't help but feel like they're actually a real couple now, having Alex just say that to him and with all the Christmas decorations hanging from building to building, the Christmas trees in all the shop windows, accompanied with bows and bells on shop doors made everything feel so magical. That's what Alex did to him, he made John feel good and adored, that's the closest to magic he would ever get.

"So how was your day?" Alex asks, casual as ever.

John swings their hands and while there is some people staring at them, John finds that he doesn't care. He has to remind himself that here in New York it isn't anything like Charleston where he would be frowned upon and his controlling, homophobic father isn't around to tell him how he should live his life. He's young, he's gay and John thinks he is very much besotted with Alexander, in such a short space of time too.

"It's been pretty good, I hung out with Pegs," John isn't really sure what else to say, but Alex's interested expression urges him to press on. "Well she's called Peggy, she and her sisters are my best friends. They were busy so it was just me and Peg today. Got food and went shopping."

Alex looks down at him and then says, "You didn't buy anything?"

Now the discomforting topic about money was probably going to pop up. "Nah, nothing I want" John lies. "I just wanted to get out for a bit, see Pegs and she dragged me all over the place".

They're crossing the road and enter a department store. It's nice to get out of the cold and John is relishing in the heat warming up his cold cheeks and nose. "Surely there is something you want, it's Christmas." Alex adds.

John rolls his eyes. "Not for another week and three days though," He responds. "Besides... Christmas isn't just about wanting stuff."

Alex is staring at him in the corner of his eye, John feeling small under his burning gaze. "I suppose you're right. Hm, so I've come out actually because Laf is due back next week from his trip and I really gotta find him something," Alex gripes. "God, he's so fuckin' difficult to buy for..."

At this information, John stops and he's gaping at Alex like he'd just been slapped.

He couldn't believe he'd just said that. "What! Are you serious? Wait - You ask me meet you and now you're hauling me around the shops to find a present for your husband?!" He all but growls. John runs a hand over his face, he's tired and cranky and cold. "I'm going home, sorry Alex but this is-"

But Alex jumps back infront of him as soon as John turns his heels. He has his hands on his shoulders placing him. "Hey, hey. It isn't just him I'm buying for-" and Alex's deep brown eyes are like a vortex. John couldn't leave, he couldn't say no. "Honey, I asked you to meet me because I want to take you out for dinner and I want to treat you, spend time with you. We've spoken about this, remember?"

That's right, their little arrangement.

John frowns at him and his eyes drift to the ground. "I know but I just don't like it when you do that. I thought... this time is for us. Between us. Then you go ahead and bring him up". He's still getting used to the idea of seeing a married man behind another man's back, who also is aware of John's existence and is totally fine with it. It just feels bizarre.

Alex is biting his lip before he removes his hands from John's shoulders, letting them dip into his coat pockets. "I'm sorry, I should have been more considerate. But hun, you need to remember, Laf is a part of my life as well. I care about the pair of you." John's heart does a leap and bound. Alex cared. "If you're gonna allow jealously to get in the way of what we have, there really is no hope for us. I'm just tellin' you that now kitten. If it really bothers you, we may as well call it a day".

No, no. John doesn't want that, he can't let him go. John is the one who takes Alex's hand back and he's squeezing it. He shakes his head and looks back into Alex's eyes. "Alex no, I want to keep things going. I just... it's still new to me."

He smiles at John, Alex knows very much so that it's all new for him and so he takes hold of his freckles cheek, pinching it playfully. John whines. "You really do get jealous easily, don't ya?"

John pouts at him. He couldn't help but be jealous. Here was a guy he liked and he was married to fuck knows who. Not to mention John's previous boyfriend cheated on him. John is bound to feel slightly more possessive over the next one who comes into his life. Not that he was being cheated on though, but knowing the person he was seeing was also giving someone else a bit of TLC just made his teeth grate.

"No need to be threatened, you'll can have all of me baby boy." Alex murmurs as he leans in, kissing his mouth and as this happens there is a pair of teenage girls who was gawking at them as they're walking to the escalators.

Both Alex and John notice them, that's when Alex gives them both a harmless wink which leaves them both covering their mouth giggling. John buries his face into Alex's shoulder and complains that they need to go.

John pulls him on and they start just browsing around the shops together. There's so many people out doing late night Christmas shopping, they had plenty of time since the shops were open longer too. Kids with their tired looking parents were still lining up for the poorly dressed Santa and his few elves. Alex gave John a budge at this and wiggled his brows naughtily at John.

"You thinkin' what I'm thinkin' baby boy," Alex whispers and John immediately thinks Alex is offering to take him to see Santa Clause. John immediately gives him a playful push and gives Alex such a look of shock.

"Too far, dude, too far" He mutters. "I'm not gonna get in line with you..."

Alex looks confused for a second. "Wait what?"

"Huh?" says John.

Then Alex's confusion immediately vanishes when he bursts into laughter, so much that some of the little kids in the queue and their parents are staring at them. John sees this and he's pulling Alex along. As this happens, Alex leans into his ear and says, "Baby, I was gonna suggest we go up to those little monsters and tell them Santa ain't real. But since you've got other ideas... Daddy doesn't mind taking you to see Santa." They're in public, people are passing them and John knows he's gone red. Alex can see his rosy cheeks burn and he's giggling.

"Alex I swear-" John's eyes widen.

Then Alex whispers, "Hell, fuck it. Just hop on my lap and I'll give you more than a factory full of toys. Well if it's _those_ kinds of toys we're talking about here..."

John has to shove Alex away from his ear basically it's tickling like crazy and anymore sexual taunting within the public eye is going to make him burst. "I can't believe you," He hisses. "Alex we're near children!"

He snorts another laugh and shrugs his shoulders. "Oh please, kids today aren't innocent." He's shooting his big brown eyes right at John. Of course John knows what Alex is implying but he lets it slide. He's just teasing and getting a total kick out of embarrassing John.

They dip into another shop after John is calmed down, Alex is glad they have books and he's bolting to them without a second word. Now John doesn't know too much about Alex apart from the basics. He knows Alex loves to read and mentioned to John that he's always writing up articles. He likes black coffee, Alex jokes that he's so immune to it that it barely even gives him a drive anymore and his blood must literally now be black coffee. He hates cats, loves dogs and hates winter. Alex lost his mother very young just like John did.

Also Alex was a business man, John guesses he's a billionaire to say the least but he doesn't know the little things about Alex, silly things that only his husband would know. It eats John up inside because he wanted to know those things too, Alex was becoming part of his life and it was important.

John leaves Alex to reading a few pages of whatever book he's picked up and goes to look around the other things in the store. That's when he sees it, the same tablet he's been wanting and the book he saw earlier. He's picking it up again just to have a quick little read and John becomes so hooked into his book that he doesn't notice Alex sneak up behind him.

"Whatcha got there?" He hears down his ear.

Startled John flinches and Alex chuckles at his reaction. His eyes flicker to the book John has and he whips it off him. "Alex... what're you doing!"

"You obviously want it, I found a few things I want myself. I don't mind, you know this." He says nonchalantly. John doesn't want to look as uncomfortable as he does but he just shrugs and lets Alex do his thing. It was his idea in the first place after all.

As they're walking to the counter Alex asks him, "You want anything else?"

John is chewing the inner corner of his lip and Alex raises his brow. He knows. "Go and get it then"

"But Alex it's fine"

Alex finds John's politeness too cute sometimes. He's always holding himself back. "Daddy said now, right now."

So with a sigh John does, he goes and comes back with the tablet he wanted. He plonks it down on the pile of books Alex is balancing and he grunts at the weight of it. He almost drops everything but steadies himself. John gives him a twisted smile with narrowed eyes. "That's for teasing me about Santa" He mutters. Alex raises his brow even more and he's smirking back.

John is with him when they're paying up, leaning casually against the counter as Alex is taking out his card. Their items are being bagged up and with a 'beep' with his card, it's done. "Just like magic" Alex whispers into John's ear and he laughs.

He's quick to get away from Alex who's left carrying the bags. He didn't seem to mind though and collected John's hand again in his own. They looked in a few more shops, Alex convinced John to let him buy more clothes for him since John seemed to be in the same things most days. He explained he left half his stuff back in South Carolina to Alex because he couldn't get out the door quick enough and he'd only taken a small suitcase. John didn't tell Alex the full story but he basically told him that his dad was a dick.

Alex told John he had an instant hatred for Henry Laurens after what he'd heard so far. But then again, his father walked out on him and his sick mother as a child apparently.

"J-Crew... seriously?" John says as they're walking inside the store. He holds up one of the price tags as they pass a pile of sweaters and John lets out a small 'holy fuck' before dropping it like he'd been scalded.

Alex pulls him into a barricade of coats and jackets before grabbing a gorgeous deep dark green peacoat, similar to his own black one. John kind of thought that idea was cute until Alex put it back. "Nah" he mutters to himself. "Maybe this" and he's lifting up another green dark coat but not in the same style. It's much nicer John thinks and he glances to Alex who's sizing him up.

"What?"

John's bundled with this coat and Alex tells him to try it on. "Alex it's expensive as hell!"

"Just try it"

But John's having none of it. "I can't, Alex I really can't. I'm drawing the line-"

"You're drawing nothing." Alex moves around John to slip off the jacket he's wear and tosses it over the rail for a moment. "Honey, I'm not being awful here, but it's _winter_. It's fucking freezing. You've already been sick and if I have to see you in this thin as fuck jacket, one last time I'm going to flip." He says and Alex is taking the coat off John, urging him to try it on. "You're lucky you aren't with Laf..." He goes quiet.

John senses that Alex must have forgotten that he didn't like it when his husband was brought up. But John remembered that he had to, at least acknowledge that fact that he wasn't the only one in Alex's life. He was still a new addition to Alex's and Alex could drop him easily if he shown too much disrespect to his marriage.

So goes with it, "What about him?" John says quietly, slowly. "What would he do?"

He must have noticed John was trying. Alex just smiles and shaking his head, as if he were remembering something that happened. "He's worse than me when it comes to spending baby, put it that way." Alex chuckles. "He'd demand I dress you in Gucci and Dior by now"

John makes a low whistle. Jesus, these guys really did have money to blow. He tries the coat on and it does look good on. It fits John like a glove but gives him a bit of room to move around. Alex loves it because it shows of his handsome physique. As they're looking in the mirror Alex is behind him, gripping his shoulders and resting his head on one then kisses the crook of John's neck.

"God you're gorgeous" He sighs, heavenly.

"So you keep saying..."

Alex laughs, he knows he does. "Yes, indeed I do little one. I just can't get enough of you. So dya want this one?"

Tired, hungry and ready for bed John just nods. He likes the coat regardless anyway and he could do with a new one. So Alex slips it off him and he's gone to the till to pay for it. He ends up buying John a few more things. T-shirts, jeans and god knows what else. They walk out of the store together and Alex says, "Love taking you out I do, where else do you want to go?" John wonders if Alex gets some kind of high from spending so much. He looks around and sees that the store isn't as crazed up with people as before. He figures it was probably time they left.

"Can we grab dinner now? I haven't eaten since I left Pegs," John takes a bag off Alex, he feels bad letting him do all the carrying. Alex argues its fine but John teases he isn't as young as he used to be.

"Actually I have a better idea-" John takes off his old jacket and puts on his new one he'd just been bought. Alex makes a growling noise which has John laughing. "There we go, much better".

Alex soothes down the side of his new coat and he pecks John on the lips. "Can't have you catching pneumonia baby boy. Alright, lets go feed you."

* * *

They ended up at an Italian restaurant and stuffed themselves full with pizza, pasta and these amazing cheesy dough-balls over glasses of wine. After dinner John tells Alex that he hadn't gotten a gift for his husband, Alex tells him not to worry and that he'd sort it another day. For tonight he was making it solely about him.

Outside the restaurant John is standing waiting for Alex to finish tipping and chatting their waiters ears off. They'd started a good chat with him over dinner somehow and Alex being Alex wasn't able to shut up.

John has his hands in the pockets of his new coat and he snuggles deeper into it. He's grateful really, Alex has given him another wonderful evening. It was nice being gifted, treated, spoilt or whatever but John felt he needed to start owning more to him.

A cold gust of wind danced around him, his curls blowing in his face and god, he wishes he tied his hair up today. Alex catches him straightening himself out and he's done talking to the waiter, waving him goodbye as he's walking down the steps.

He joins John's side and Alex is slipping off his scarf. "Alex?" John all but murmurs.

Alex's red trusty scarf is being snaked around his neck, John paws at it between his fingers and buries his nose into it. Warm, musky with that spiced vanilla scent, smells just like Alex.

"It isn't like you to be without yours," Alex says.

John looks back into his eyes. "I kind of just ran out earlier, I didn't think to bring it. But what about you... Alex you get cold easier than me."

He just chuckles at John. "So considerate kitten. Well, least I've got you to warm up to." and Alex is linking John's arm, bags in one hand and pulling him closer as they start to make tracks again down the street. John giggles back and he squishes Alex's arm with his own.

John thanks Alex for dinner and they start to talk about the most random things. Christmas, John's college assignment, places Alex's husband has visited during his business trip away. Anything, it didn't matter to the pair. They were just content being together and when the conversation quietened down.

It starts snowing again, heavily and streets of New York are never quiet. There is always something, just something happening. One guy is stood on the corner dressed in a skimpy female santa outfit. He looked half-cut and still had his work tie around his neck. Alex jeers at him, causing a scene and giving him a thumbs up with a 'right on dude!' all while John is telling him to stop showing them up.

There is a gang of black girls singing some carols together, John thought they were amazing and reminded him of back home with the choirs outside his local church. There was other couples swarming around laughing, joking and kissing with bags full of shopping like themselves. John saw other same-sex couples kissing and enjoying the Christmas season, hearts a burst with Christmas spirit. He smiled softly to himself and looked over at Alex who turned to him with one of his own.

After walking for some time now, it's Alex who break the silence. "Honey," John looks to him again. "Do you want me to put you in a cab? You look fit for bed." That he was, John felt exhausted. It'd been a long day. Too much walking.

"What about you?" He asks Alex.

Alex looks as if he's thinking on it. "What?" John says.

"Do you want me over? I mean, I can come back to yours but I kind of got the feeling you wanted to chill by yourself."

John quickly looks panicked and shakes his head. "No, no, no! Alex, you can come, I don't mind at all. I'm just... fucked."

With a bit of a flirtatious grin, John sees it and he's balling his eyes.

"Well, that can be arranged. But sure, baby, I'm sound. Although... you could come back to my place, see it for yourself, stay the night. I'll look after you."

Now that would be an idea, John had yet to see Alex's apartment. Alex had offered him numerous times to come back to his but every time John refused, tired of not he decided to take a risk.

"Okay" John says simply.

He casts Alex such a look of unbelief when he says, "What? You're actually gonna come back to mine for once?" Alex sounds amazed.

"Sure, I'm game." John's not sure but he wants to please Alex.

"Damn, damn. We're progressing. Alright then, I best take you home with me." Alex claps his hands together, rubbing them. "Gonna have a brawl we are."

John tries to not look too uncertain, too uptight and show his nerves as they're walking towards the next station. They're hopping on the subway train and they have to stand. Alex gets a text and John watches him for a second before shifting his attention to the others around them. He feels more nervous now that he's on the way to Alex's place, his stomach is roping in tight knots and he's fiddling his fingers on the handle bar.

Shooting his attention up from his phone, Alex stares at John and sees him twitching anxiously. He knows he's on edge and so Alex straightens the bags between his legs there for balance before taking John's hand.

"You don't have to be so nervous," He says quietly.

Frowning, John attempts to appear fine. "I'm not?"

Alex's face shows he isn't convinced. He leans in closer to John, something he's gotten used to doing too much. "You've been tweedle-deeing and tweedle-dumming around for the past five minutes, honey, nothing gets past me. You shouldn't be nervous, you're in safe hands."

John gives him a nod, mostly to show he's listening. He does trust Alex but John is more worried about the sexual side of things. He thinks back to the last time he gave in and gave himself to someone else. The whole experience felt rotten, he was hurt, sore and drunk. He even recalled finding blood the next day after he went to the toilet, that's how bad it'd been. No pleasure, just pain and truthfully John felt scared to do it again.

"C'mon, this is our stop" Alex says and John knows this is it.

He actually lags behind Alex when they're walking up the stairs and out the station. Alex catches on so he soothes his hand up and down John's arm. It isn't too far away, Alex tries to ease John by chatting him half to death about one of his business trips and is proud of himself when he gets John to smile again. So much so that between their chatting, John doesn't realise that they're at the brink of Alex's place.

They're walking through what looked like a private neighbourhood, John forgets they're even in the city because the scenery looks nicer. Trees have fencing around them, bushes look trimmed, the streets looked cleaner and it was quieter. So quieter he could actually hear only their footsteps and not the beeping of cars or chattering of crowds but there was still a faint hum of traffic from afar.

Rounding a corner John stood in awe at this complex, it was tall, elegant and grand there with all the lights projecting around it. There even was security at the front door and Alex greets him like they're old friends. Inside its all marble flooring, stairs are at either sides and theres the elevator in the center. It's all modern, fresh and just breathtaking. Alex giggles as he watches John gape at it all as he moves in a circle.

"Impressed?" says Alex.

John doesn't even look at him, he's nodding and still looking around. "This is why you should've come sooner baby, knew you'd like it. Hell, everyone likes it." Alex sounds pleased with himself and he isn't afraid to even sound smug. He's earned this type of lifestyle after all.

They get in the elevator and John isn't even nervous anymore, he's fascinated and just purely amazed. Alex finds his reaction adorable and pecks John on the tip of his nose. After getting out, Alex gets out what appeared to be some kind of key card and they've got a bit of a walk up the wall way until they stop at a door.

"We actually live in a penthouse," John's eyes widen in amazement, he's never stepped foot in a penthouse in his life.

"Laf wanted to buy that tall thing in the city, what is it called again... just off 432 Park Ave. They spent around $79 million dollars building it. Ah I can't even remember - but he was going to invest in it and I stopped him. I mean, the fuck we need it for? Already got a couple of villas and other mansions scattered everywhere. You should've seen his face, baby, he got so pissy with me, wouldn't talk to me for days." Alex laughs, gently swatting John's shoulder.

John couldn't believe he could talk about money like it was fresh air. If only John could flash around that type of money on fancy properties. "He sounds like a riot" John says unnerved.

"Oh he is, anyway-" Alex waves the door key card and turns the handle. "Here we are"

It smells really airy when they walked into the front room, John figures it's either fresh cotton incense or that delicious spiced vanilla scent Alex wears. You could tell there were men living there, there's a musky tone right after. Alex is fumbling for a second with his shoes, dropping the bags down and tells John to come in.

It's dark when they enter and John is just stood there awkwardly in the door way.

There in the darkness John can see there are windows that reach from the floor to the ceiling, he has a good view of New York from where he's stood and he's in love with the way it looks.

He walks further into the spacious room, he can feel a rug under him and is mindful to move back since he's still got his shoes on. But he can see the night sky and all its stars glitter from where he is. It reminded him of South Carolina for a moment, the nights he spent with his siblings under a blanket of stars when they'd have a camp out in their yard. He felt content, less nervous now.

"Ah ha!" Then it came to an end when light filled the room.

It was only the side lamp, John observed it and it was one of those fancy big ball hanging ones that dimly lit up and Alex grabbed the remote from the sofa. Jesus, John didn't even notice the sofa. It was curved, you could fit probably up to twelve people on it at least and it was built the white wooden flooring. It looked like a home cinema, their TV was over seventy inches wide there on the wall and John shook his head at its ridiculous size.

There was these really minimalistic artsy paintings hung up around the room, a huge bookcase with countless amounts packed on it and ornaments. There was just so much in one huge room, so much that John thought he was going to have a headache. So he was too preoccupied that he didn't hear Alex sneak up behind him, he steals away John's new coat, his scarf and shrugs off his own.

"Your place... it's... oh my god." Is literally all John can spit out. It's too much, it's amazing but phenomenal.

Alex quickly tosses their coats over on the stand and bolts back to John's side. "You like it?"

All John can do is nod.

"Awesome, good, good. Hey, you want to grab a bath?" Alex is grabbing the remote off the sofa and switching it on, mostly just for background noise. John is still looking around in amazement and Alex laughs to himself. He creeps up behind John again and he's slipping his arms around his waist, he squeezes him tightly. "Hm, you want me to run you one? Let's warm you up."

A bath sounded good. Alex has already switched on the thermostat for a bit of heat and so he guides John to the bathroom. Their place has a small stair case which is conjoined to the front room and that leads to the bathroom. John thought he saw it all and when he sees the bath, he's in love. It's all a nice taupe marble inside, marble walls, flooring and ceiling with a posh vintage style lamp. All the handles, tap holders are a copper gold and the bath had a built in waterfall spout, not to mention a jacuzzi. Everything was amazing.

"What's the rent on this place even?" Was all John could muster up.

Alex chuckles at him. "More than your tuition baby, but don't you worry about that. Anyway! Bath time..." and he's eyeing John up.

The water is pouring out fast and the bathroom is steamy in minutes. John is slipping off his top, Alex hungrily taking him in and playfully claws at John's six-pack. John helps Alex out of his shirt too revealing a softer form, which John has grown to love and he's roaming his hands around Alex's belly fluff he finds so endearing. It's much different to firm, solid stomachs of guys his own age he's been with but John doesn't care.

Alex tosses in some kind of lavender salt and Japanese blossom bath creme. "It's Laf's but he ain't here, so..."

John is unzipping himself out of his jeans and Alex does the same but at a slower pace. He always seemed to enjoy seeing John nude first, John was convinced it was some kind of fantasy thing. He isn't shy about his body anymore with Alex, his nakedness was probably the norm by now and he's tossing off his briefs. They're red with cute little reindeers on them and Alex picks them up.

"What?" John says sharply. He's waiting.

A smirk from Alex. "God, you're so cute. Fuck sake, get in the bath John. I'm gonna burst, get in, now."

So John does as he's told and makes sure to sway his hips a little as he's clambering into this amazingly big bath. Alex gives him a bit of a spank, nothing too hard and John is clasping the area in shock. "In, now" Alex says, tone firmer.

Its not too hot thankfully when he gets in, the bath is so spacious and even the bath back home in Charleston isn't as big as this despite it being pretty damn big. Alex towers him, watching him as he's fumbling with his own belt. "You look like you're enjoying yourself baby boy" He says.

"It's like a freaking pool!" John sways to the other side of the bath just to prove a point. "Geez, Alex your place, it's like a palace".

Alex is throwing off his own briefs and he's crouching down to slip into the bath. Once he slips in, John has him pinned between the side of the bath and himself, he's even turned on the damn bubbles in the bath too. The room is fogged up and John feels breathless almost.

"Mm, that's right. A palace for my little prince. You gonna give daddy a kiss?"

John does just that, he moves in slowly to capture Alex's lips and as they're kissing he dips his tongue into Alex's mouth. The taste from their red wine earlier and food combining but it's fine. Alex takes John's lean waist, tracing his thumbs down the sides of the 'v' on his groin and hums into their kiss. John is smiling into the kiss, Alex was such a sucker for a toned tum.

Alex can feel John's erection and he's stroking him, causing John to purr and mewl. So he speeds it up giving him a quick hand-job until he soils the bath water. They both just laugh and carry on.

"Alex, on the side," John says huskily, he's patting the edge of the bath. "Get on there"

But Alex playfully flicks him on the forehead, John squeaks. "Daddy gives the orders".

Oh so it was like that. John contained whatever he was about to say next and remembered what he really was to Alex. Their agreement, Alex spoiling him and all the promises of helping him out financially. He had to start giving back.

John bats his wet long lashes and pouts the best he could, the cutest he could muster up and the one killer bug-eyed expression all his exes used to melt over. He lowers himself deeper into the water and cocks his head, making sure his loose curls cover a side of his face. "But Daddy..." he all but mumbles in a small voice.

Alex knew where this was going because he was smiling along. John does his best despite thinking just how cringe-wrothy it was to toss his hair over his shoulder. He tucks a loose strand behind his ear and bats his lashes again.

"I was wondering... if you would hop up there, so I could maybe suck you off?" Alex looks as if he's taking it into account and so he does as John asks. He moves backwards, with a bit of help from John making sure he doesn't slip or anything, sits up on the edge of the deep bath.

"Gotta say, I like the way you think" Alex says giddily.

Taking hold of his thick cock, Alex is pumping himself already and John swarms between his legs. "Alright baby boy, you gonna show Daddy what you can do with this then hm? I wanna see you take this cock like a champ kitten, you gotta earn this cock. Can Daddy tug your hair a little, please baby?"

John doesn't care, Alex was going to keep giving after all which would make his life easier and so was he. With a hurried nod, John's tongue wisps the tip of his cock and swirls around it like he were enjoying a lollipop. He then engulfs his mouth on it and starts to work his way up, down, up down.

Alex leans back there on his arms and he's got his head jilted back in ecstasy. "Shit... just like that." John tries not to act too surprised when Alex's soothing fingers on his scalp turn into a maddening clasp and he's got a handful of his curls. "Fuck... more... baby boy don't you hold back... you drink up that cock... Daddy's fat cock... you take it good..."

Wincing at the pain John tries not to whelp and he keeps going. It didn't help that Alex had started to hitch his hips into his mouth either and John held position for a moment while he let Alex deep throat the living daylight out of him.

Once he'd done, John goes back to bobbing his head the way Alex likes and he's palming his balls as he does. Caressing each of them and then his hands go back to Alex's cock and he's pumping him like no tomorrow, ragged breathing increasing and John is sure he's close.

Through half-lidded eyes Alex looks back at John who's staring him dead in the eyes, he tucks a strand of hair behind his ear knowing just how appealing it was to Alex and continues to suck him dry. "I'm close... fuck... I'm close baby boy!"

When Alex came John was sure not to waste one drop and he's lapping it up like a starved dog. Alex goes back to sweetly playing with his hair since he did got a little too rough with John but he pulled through.

"You really are the best, goddamn honey. You always make me feel like a million bucks..." The way John looks at him has Alex chuckling. "You know what I mean. That was good, oh man. Next time can I finish on your face, would that be okay?"

John leans into Alex's touch, he's caressing the side of his head and he can only smile at Alex. A bit of cum never hurt anybody and if John's lifestyle was going to be like this from now on then so be it. "You can do whatever you want to me Daddy" He murmurs and takes the hand Alex has hold of him with, kisses it and stares longingly back into his dark eyes.

They finish up by washing each others hair, a few sneaky tugs on each other's cocks and John ended up giving Alex yet another blow-job included with a finger up his hole too just to be extra.

After draining the bath Alex took to sorting John out before tending to himself and had him wrapped in a big long fluffy towel. The towel holder automatically warmed up when the heating was, John was exceptionally glad about that.

Alex found John a spare white t-shirt of his own for him to wear accompanied with his briefs. Alex threw on his usual dark grey pyjama pants, slippers and house coat. He did offer John his husband's one to wear for the night but John held a hand up, refusing politely.

They watched a bit of TV before going to bed. John thought the big sofa was amazing, he sprawled out and made himself a home. He couldn't believe he was so nervous earlier on and yet here he was being completely spoilt by Alex with hot baths, doritos, dips and hot chocolate although he did offer him countless other things too. Alex was doting on him hand and foot, he didn't seem to mind. Half way through whatever it was that was playing, John was near falling asleep there in Alex's lap and that's when the TV went off.

"Alright, honey, I think it's time we get to bed. Come on, hop off." Gently Alex is nudging John to sit up and so groggily he does.

John wiping his eyes and cracking his back. "Ugh, what time is it?"

Alex is standing up with a stretch watching him. "For bed," he finishes and shakes his head at John cracking his shoulders. "That, that right there is terrible. You're not even my age yet and you've got a bad back." He scolds.

All while pulling his tongue, John starts to get up from the sofa. "I'm an animation student, I have no choice but to sit at the computer hours on end." He yawns.

"Jesus..." Alex mutters and he blows out the candle there on the coffee table and tosses the remote on the sofa. "Gonna have to buy you a decent chair. You'll thank me."

This has John grinning, he rolls his eyes. "What're you, my dad?"

Alex prods him in the side. "Right, bed time. I'll clean up this mess in the morning." He gestures to their snacks and empty mugs on the table. "Come, I best show you to the bedroom".

"Oooh" says John.

Thinking the bedroom was upstairs John is pulled back by Alex and he leads them towards another room just by the kitchen. "Upstairs is the spare, there's a bed but Laf and I have been using it as a spare room. Don't even ask... and anyway we prefer our room downstairs, it's just easier." Alex ends with a yawn.

As they pass the magnificent kitchen, John catches a glimpse in the corner of his eye of a particular photo there on the huge bookcase. He hadn't noticed it earlier, infact he didn't really poke his nose around too much since it wasn't his place. He'd stuck by Alex for the majority of the night. But he quickly turned his head and saw it was Alex in a tuxedo, a very flashy one at that, grinning his cheekiest grin and beside him stood another man. That was when he realised it was Alex's wedding photo.

John snapped his head away as he couldn't bare looking at the other man's face. All that he knew about this 'Laf' was that he was French, he too was loaded and Alex had mentioned he was mixed race like himself.

That's all he knew so far. John didn't like to ask about him, he didn't want to really open his eyes to the fact that Alex wasn't his and that the other man may actually hate him for stealing his husband away.

All while trying to forget about Alex's husband, John was lead into the main big bedroom and Alex gently closes the door a few behind them. It wasn't completely shut and John suspected that Alex didn't want to make him too paranoid or worried thinking he couldn't leave if he wanted to.

Their bedroom had the same large top to bottom windows, curtains draped over of course and the plushiest carpet imaginable. John crunched his toes under it and he was amazed by the big bed. It was one of those modern ones with the fancy quilted headboards and a little chase at the end. John sat on it just to try and Alex chuckles at him as he's getting into bed. John saw they even had a door leading out to a small veranda too. There was even a built in vanity unit and a large mirror.

"Shit... this room is... it's like something out of a magazine," Although there were personal touches like photographs on the table, some pieces of art hanging up by the door in a little collage and white faux roses in their vase on the side table.

Alex slips off his night gown and tosses it on the stand, packed with piles of books he was currently reading and his glasses. John notices them, he didn't know Alex wore glasses.

"That's Laf's doing, infact most of our place was decorated by him. He's into all that fucking around with matching drapes and rugs, me? Not so much." Alex is yawning again. "You gonna come up into bed with me?"

John crawls from the chase and onto the bottom of the bed. Alex licks his lips at the seductive way John shimmies towards him. Alex tosses open the covers so John can slip in beside him. "Don't worry, you'll be sleeping on my side of the bed honey. Just incase you start freaking out."

"Mm, this is cosy." John says with a smile. "What are those two doors on each side of the bed for?"

Alex turns off the light before turning back to John there in bed. "Our closet and other bathroom."

"Wow" John goes again. "I can't believe you live here, this is amazing." Everything was just another world to John. Alex props himself up on one arm as he gazes down at John.

"I mean, sure, I grew up in a pretty wealthy family but this is unreal." John says.

They hadn't really discussed John's home life too much which had Alex wondering and prying. "Oh really?"

"Yeah" John drones. "My dad... he's in with the law. I don't want to get too deep into it and all but partly why I'm struggling is because of it."

Now this had Alex frowning, sure it was dark in the room but there was still a good partial amount of light from outside that shone in. But John could still make out Alex's handsome face staring back at his. "Why? Honey what happened?" He's brushing John's curly hair with his fingers, slowly raking them in and out.

John had to think carefully here. His father was a powerful man but Alex was no doubt probably much more powerful with a lot of hidden connections. He didn't want to start telling him Henry Laurens was one of the old chaps who kept voting against gay marriage and a pile of other awful things he'd done there in his seat. That made John wonder if things fell to shit between him and Alex, he could easily make not only John's life but his family's life miserable too.

"You can trust me," Alex whispers.

So John decides to tell him the basics at least. Just incase. "My father wanted me to go into politics or become a lawyer at most, I'm no good at any of that. I'd end up sending half my clients to fuckin' jail!" Alex can't help but laugh. "I'm just not down for any of that. I've always loved art, I've always liked cartoons and that's what I'm good at. It's what makes me, well, _me._ " John strains and Alex's smile fades.

"Even before my mom passed... she used to tell me never give up, so I didn't and I got onto my animation program. I like it and I'm good at it." He has to breathe for a second, so he does and deflates. 

Alex goes back to soothing his scalp with those fingers, dancing and drifting. "Before I left for college, me and my father had a huge bust up at dinner. I said I wasn't doing politics or Law, he got angry, like angrier than usual. I mean, sure we were always fighting, but this time it was worse." John says. "I punched him and he practically attacked me. I was terrified so I ran to my room..."

"You don't have to tell me the rest, hun, it's okay."

But John ignored Alex. "Got into my room, I barricaded the door. Father took off the lock when I came out to him, didn't want me hiding boys in my bedroom," John snarks and Alex clasps his hand under the sheets. Squeezes it.

"You want to know the reason why I've barely got any clothes back at mine? I could only grab my small case, big one was in the basement and father locked it up. I crammed whatever In, my books, my laptop, any clothes I had around. I just had to get the hell away." John ended and his voice breaks.

"I needed to leave, I couldn't s-stay there-" He stresses. "It was hard enough living under that roof, I got my sister Martha always fighting at school and then she's cutting herself because she's as angry as I am that mom died-"

Alex had to step in. "John, hey-"

"Little Henry, Mary and Jimmy are always fuckin' arguing, I'm always the one breaking them apart and our dad just doesn't do _anything_." John didn't even noticed he'd slipped back into his southern accent. He was so upset and on the verge of tears. "It's like I gotta carry everything on board, y'know? It's always me, I can't breathe and then I have to do whatever he wanted me to do at college too? No, I can't".

Sitting up, Alex pulls John into a hug and he cradles him. He had to calm John down, rocking him back and forth. Kissing the top of his head.

"C'mon, deep breath baby boy"

John does as he's told and within minutes of Alex soothing him he's calmer, much better.

"You okay?" He asks John, another kiss upon his head. John nods and they snuggled down back into bed.

Time seemed to pass by slowly, John flickered his eyes to the digits lit up in the corner of the room and he could hear Alex's soft breathing. He buries his face into Alex's chest and takes in his scent. "Thanks... for listening," John sounds so small, he's surprised by his own voice. "This is the first time I've told anyone the full story". Which was true, because he hadn't shared the full story with Peggy, Eliza or Angelica, not even his ex boyfriend.

A sigh from Alex, "John, I've told you this before. I've got you, I'm here. I promised you that."

Alex had been right, he was there for him. "Hush... try to get some sleep".

With a small smile John buries himself further into Alex before drifting off to sleep.

His heart swelled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I was gonna update next week but I couldn't help myself ;<
> 
> It's sunday anyway tho? so i guess its sorta next week-nearly? :D
> 
> Anyway enjoy XO


	5. RED BUMS AND HANDSHAKES

The morning sun stretched slender fingers through the long drapes of the bedroom.

Now slowly blinking his eyes open, the first thing John witnessed was a hollow ache in jaw, he lay there wincing and remembered the events from the night before in the bathroom. Alex had fucked his throat real good, to the point where it felt red raw.

John caressing his sore jaw and he's eyeing up the room. It looked different now actual daylight touched upon it. John could really real in its true beauty and even after entering it first the night before, waking up in it was a whole different experience. He felt like he'd been in for a shoot with GQ or Vogue.

He made a low whimper as he tried moving but realised he couldn't. Alex was there snoring away behind him, noisily. Now John knew he would definitely not be getting back to sleep. He didn't think Alex realized just how loud he really was. However, as annoying and ugly as it sounded, John found it rather endearing to say the least.

The morning breath filled with a hint of red wine tickled John's nose. Yeah, John had a feeling he would soon need to get used to this. At least Alex was lovely and warm, making him feel safe in his arms.

As Alex began to stir he found himself rising back to consciousness, aware that John was trying to sit up. Groaning, he allowed him to squirm out of his grasp and lazily rolled over on to his stomach instead.

John wondered if it was allowed to leave the room but he figured that with his bladder practically screaming, he had to hit the bathroom. He shimmies out of the covers, John does his best not to wake Alex and remembered he told him there was a bathroom just next door. He found it, did what he needed to do all while ignoring the countless amounts of products, he guessed most were Alex's husband's and washed up quickly.

Alex was still snoring when he returned and hadn't moved from that position on his stomach. John took a moment to take in the sight of Alex, he looked so peaceful and despite the snoring this was the first time John had ever seen him so quiet. Usually when Alex stayed at this place he was the first one up, a morning person and teased John for being a 'lazy student' but all that red wine had drained the life out of him.

Even with his leg dangling off the bed and observed the way he was hugging his pillow like a child. John smiled to himself, it was such a dishevelled but wonderful sight. While eyes drifted over Alex's supine figure caressing every hard angle and soft curve. Sighing, John decided to start their day with some coffee.

The kitchen was a work of art, polished counters and everything was hung up so neatly. John wondered if anyone even used this kitchen, he couldn't cook to save his life and hoped to the gods he could find a man who could cook for him someday. But everything was so pristine, you had cereals packed into clear jars all neatly organised. They had this fancy spice rack and glasses on their little hanger. A few cook books stacked like they were out a magazine. It was insane just how perfect it was and John thought back to Alex saying his husband did most of the organising, it made John wonder what he was like and would he approve of John.

John found two plain mugs, he narrowed his eyes at the one which said "NO.1 HUBBY' and if he had it his way, John would've dumped it altogether. He didn't care which one it belonged to.

There was the coffee machine, they had a fucking The Rancilio Classe. John batted his eyes at it in awe, he even rubbed his eyes. This was some coffee shop standard stuff right here and these cost thousands. He shook his head and worked his way around the thing, it wasn't too difficult to figure out since John was practically now the coffee king but he was just taken back. Although, really, it shouldn't even surprise him at this point.

Coffee happened and while he got Alex his trademark cup of plain black, John couldn't bare going out a bit of milk and sugar for his own. He hoped that they didn't mind him using the milk but Alex had told him to knock himself out last night, so there was that.

He brought the two mugs and himself back into the bedroom, used his foot to push the door shut and popped Alex's mug on the stand. John climbed back into the bed and was careful not to topple coffee on these sheets because, jesus, they probably cost more than his monthly phone bill.

Leaning over Alex to have a good look and god, he was still flat out fast asleep. John tried not to giggle as he began softly shaking his shoulder, not that it was doing any good of course.

"Daddy" He called quietly. That ought to get him up.

But when that didn't work, John tried shaking him much more roughly this time and eventually he crawled over on top of Alex so he could shake his shoulders.

"Daddy, wake up I've made us coffee." John whined. "Get up... Alex!"

Frowning, he bounced up and down on his back to try waking him. It must have worked because Alex was mumbling something.

"Your coffee is going to go cold otherwise, get up."

"God... you're loud."

John crawled off of him so Alex could sit himself up. "Not as loud as your snoring" He jokes.

He watched Alex rumble and grumble yawning all over the place, wiping at his eyes and scratching at the stumble on his chin. All those little things you would do when waking up and as Alex was waking up there, he caught John sat beside him staring all dreamily.

Alex tucked into his coffee straight away, he literally engulfed the whole mug in a mouthful. While John sat there taking small sips of his own and his eyes widen at Alex.

"Oh my god..." John mutters. "How do you even have _any_ taste buds left?"

Because really though, John has no idea how Alex hasn't singed them off yet. Now placing the mug back on the stand, Alex turns to John and he's moving in the bury himself into his stomach. "Takes practice" He muffles against John."Thanks, honey, you're so good to me"

John has to put his mug down before it went everywhere, especially with Alex clinging to him like that. "Well, I do aim to please," He chuckles and he rakes his hand through Alex's hair. He didn't like to sleep with it down so it was still up in its bun. John un-does it, freeing Alex's dark locks and he's playing with them.

"Your hair is sexier when it's down..." John says quietly. Alex turns to look up at him from where he is. John doesn't miss the total sin shine over Alex's face. "You should have it down more often"

John exhaled a soft sigh of contentment. Alex smirks into his gut there and he's slowly rising up, has a quick stretch all before moving to prop himself against the headboard. John is unsure whats about to happen next but he's just following Alex's lead.

He takes a strand of John's hair and fumbles with his lock of curls. "So, kitten, you wanted daddy?" John's eyes widen and he's breaking out into a grin. Oh, so this is where things are going. John moves into his touch, he's pressing a kiss to Alex's mouth and it turns into a steamy make out session. With John there on top of Alex and he's rutting his groin on him, dry humping until they're hard and panting heavily.

Using his hands Alex is snaking them up and down John's back, feeling every muscle before curling them down into his briefs on his ass. Alex couldn't help himself when he slides them off a notch and completely spanks one of John's cheeks. John groans into the kiss, he used to kind of dislike it but he's grown to enjoy that bit of kink. So Alex does it again and they're stopping for air.

John licks his lips and stares back into Alex's big brown eyes, who's got this particular gleam in them. He's thinking of something and that just automatically makes John ask "What is it?"

"You know how to address me," He says, a smirk. John gets it.

"Daddy, what is it?" He says correctly.

Alex moves in again to kiss him quickly before pulling away. "You trust me, right?" He says closely against John's lips.

"Well, yeah, of course" John tilts his head, he has no idea what Alex is suggesting or what is about to happen but he's eager to find out.

"Great!" Alex chirps and suddenly he has this new founded energy. He's gently taking John by the waist and he's urging him to turn around. "Just swivel around for me, that's it honey, you're doing good".

So John does, he's still got his briefs half way down his backside when he realises and he's unsure what to down with them. He's about to pull them up and Alex is shoving right down, they're tangled between his legs. "Alex?"

"Baby boy, we've spoken about this." Alex's tone turns stern.

Alex can't see his expression but he's rolling his eyes and trying to not giggle. He always forgets, calling Alex that was still new to him. "Alright, alright, daddy?"

With that John is shoved down, it isn't too rough but enough for him to get the picture that they were going to be fooling around and probably going a different route. Alex is propping himself up on his knees, leaning over him for a moment and he whispers into John's ear, "This okay with you?" Alex always asked permission if they were going to be that bit extra unruly.

"Yeah" said John, voice just as quiet.

Alex had to ask again since he didn't sound convinced. "Sure?"

"It's fine, I want to do whatever it is." John retorts. So with that, Alex's serious expression turns back to being playful, he bites his lip.

"If it gets a bit much, just say. Uh actually... red for stop, yellow to pipe down a little and green for go. Got it, sugar?"

This was the first time Alex had ever brought up the traffic light system. John had heard it before from somewhere online, he was a tad nervous but excited to see how things played out. This should be good.

John can feel his briefs being dragged down, a bit harsher and he has a feeling what is about to happen. John is about to ask what Alex is actually doing and he's stopped when he feels a mighty slap on one of his freckled cheeks. He winces aloud, he didn't expect that and Alex panics for a moment, he leans over John again tousling his curls sweetly.

"Fuck, hun, you want me to stop? Maybe I started off too rough there. I'm sorry-" He rambles worriedly.

Even with his cheek stinging the way it did and it hurt, yeah but John kind of liked it. It enticed a naughtiness he didn't even know he had before now. So he shakes his head, he wiggles his ass a bit more and pushes it into Alex, urging him to continue. "More," He rasps. God he wanted more, he needed it harder, faster. "Daddy, I want more."

Alex's eyebrows raise and he's in shock. John wanted more and just when he thought he'd messed up. So he palms the newly stuck cheek and squeezes it, he loves John's ass. It's so firm, plump and pretty. "Since you say it like that then, baby boy. More is what you're gonna-" Then he strikes it again and John arches his back from the smack. "Get!"

Alex has to get himself more comfortable since kneeling on his knees was starting to hurt so he sits down properly. John feels further away so he's rubbing John's sides and forcefully drags him further to him upwards. John is unsure what to do with his legs for a moment, Alex hooks them around his arms and he lands another spank on his backside, this time it's harder.

"Ah!" John cries.

If only John could see Alex's mischievous smirk, he'd die right there. Another spank, then another and another. "Such a bad boy, can never get daddy's name right and now he's being a little slut... ain't that right, hm? Oh, you like it don't you. Love it when you've got daddy whacking your sweet, fucking tight little keister!" Alex croons. This time the spank had John wailing, it fucking hurt like hell and John gasps into the sheets. Alex can see John clasping them, he's clawing them and squirming around. "Keep still!" Another smack. "Not through with you yet... infact I'm far from it".

"Ow... Daddy..." Alex is waiting, John could want him to stop but he takes his time and Alex couldn't help himself but land another smack. That ought to hurry him up. "Ah! Daddy, god more." He's glad really that John gets a kick out of this as much as he does. So Alex gives him what he wants.

Smack.

"Shit!" John moans.

A harder smack. "No swearing, daddy doesn't like it when you swear. So fucking naughty." Alex says with grinning, oh the irony John thinks. "Such a slut for me, aren't you? Cheeky little thing. Here you are-" A firmer spank on the other cheek this time since the other was oozing bright red. "With this enticing, freckled-to-fuck ass, tormenting me-" There went another, John thought he was not he verge on tears almost. "Fucking, so bad and what even makes this worse, kitten-"

"Ah! Fuck... fuck!" John wails, he tries to turn over for a moment because his cheeks are burning. He doesn't want it to stop, John locks eyes with Alex as he tries and it isn't a sign for him to stop. John doesn't say anything so Alex takes it that he wants to proceed. John is tossed back over on his stomach again and Alex lands another hideous spank to his ass.

"Language!" Alex scolds. "Honestly, you're the worst. Gorgeous little fucker, you, goddammit. What was I saying? Oh, oh yeah-" He ends up giving John one more spank on that cheek and then blows John completely away when Alex slaps the pair of them at the same time. He arches his back, crying out and drops back down again. "Wanna know what makes matter worse? I've not even been inside you yet kitten, _fuck_. Daddy can't wait to fuck you good, oh honey. Daddy's dick game is the meanest there is-"

John couldn't help throughout the pain, even with the tears building up in his eyes but to splutter a giggle at the last part and he was certain Alex was finding it amusing too. It was just sex talk after all.

"Daddy, harder, harder!" John moans back and Alex gives it him harder. He clasps John's cheek again, it must sting like crazy now because he wallows in pain. Alex is always watching though, he's careful not to go too far to the point where John never wants to come back to him.

"This here, your little ass-" He growls. John isn't really responsive, he's basking in the pleasuring agony and Alex doesn't allow him for long. He leans forward, grasps a handful of John's hair, it isn't too hard but enough to jerk his head back.

"Ah!" cries John.

Alex grits his nails into one of his cheeks and presses them in. John can feel the tears bubble right on the brink of his eyes and his breathing is rapid. "This right here, it belongs to me. Got that?"

Before John can really give a response, he's too far gone in a haze so Alex swats his ass again. "You understand who it belongs to?" It sure does the job because John is nodding there in his hold.

"Yes daddy, it's yours daddy" He says softly. Satisfied, Alex is careful when he rests John's head and he messages his scalp as he does mostly to show that he was being vigilant of John's feelings.

"Course it is, that's right. It's daddy's and daddy's alone, you just remember that." Then Alex is moving John a little so he can sit up on his knees again, John dozily shifts to see what Alex is doing and his eyes immediately spring open when he sees Alex shovelling down his own shorts. That's when John squirms and his heart begins to drum crazily. It's a mixture of excitement but also, maybe a little bit of fear too. He thought they were only doing this, John had no idea they were actually going to have intercourse.

Alex must have noticed John's worry. "Don't worry kitten, we're not going that far today. I'm not gonna ram my cock up your ass." He chuckles and Alex is giving John's ass a gentle pat which even doing that stings.

He grabs out his cock, hard as a rock and Alex playfully hits John's ass cheeks with it. John had to admit to himself, he liked it and he could feel his own throbbing dick start to beg for attention too. "Just gotta let you remember," Alex continues to swirl, tap and prod John's ass with his cock as he's fumbling with John's long locks of dark curls. "Look at this!"

"You do this to daddy, look at what you do!" John darts his eyes back to Alex's and he's chewing his lip with a devious smile. He likes knowing he gets Alex off and send him into a craze.

Alex looks back at him all dreamily. Truthfully he's smitten really. "You're my little prince, you know that? and my dick is your throne to sit on" Well John couldn't hold in his laughter. Alex does his best to hide his own too but fails. It's so cheesy but the moment still continues.

"Such a way with words daddy" John mumbles into the sheets.

Alex grants him one last spank for that comment and he's parting open John's ass with two fingers while his other hand is pumping his cock.

"Uh, daddy?" John squeaks.

Alex snorts. "Honey, my tongue can do a better job of teasing you than my words can" Alex says. John knew that was right for the most part. Although Alex was a gem when it came to words. "Can I play with you? I'm not gonna put it in, I just wanna tease your hole. Get you used to the feeling of my cock near your ass, that okay?"

John wiggles his swollen backside, he wants it, he definitely wants it. "Gonna give me your load too, huh daddy?" He shoots back, his teeth curling in his bottom lip into his mouth and Alex is shaking his head. He can't hide his grin from John though.

"Y'know, you really aren't all that innocent. Naughty thing is what you are, jesus." Alex goes ahead and he's grabbing his cock, shoving it between John's cheeks and he's taunting his hole. John moans at the touch, he feels his cheeks burn at the way he moaned since it sounded far too needy. Alex clasps another one of his cheeks squeezing it all while his other hand was tickling, swirling and dabbing John's entrance.

Just then John's eyes re-opened and he's forgot to ask one important thing. "Er, daddy, I need to know..." He says sounding a little off and this has Alex stop.

"Are you, uh, clean?"

Alex's face turns into serious and he nods. "Sure am honey, I get checked regularly. Don't worry, I wouldn't soil you in my spunk if I knew I had something nasty." John scrunches up his face, totally grossed out. "I'm not like that baby." Then Alex leans down to press a kiss on John's shoulder before going back to playing with his entrance. "Let me do the worrying, kay?"

"Okay" and with that Alex is jilting his cock as he's pumping away.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" It didn't take him long to finally splurge John's entrance and coat his inner ass cheeks with cum. It was hot, oozing and trickling down John's thighs. "Aw god, gonna have to change the sheets. But damn, baby boy, what a sight. Daddy loves seeing you dribbling with his load."

He even managed to spurt some on John's back dimples too. Alex freaking loved them. "Daddy wants to stretch your little hole, can I do that?"

John nods, he's so hot, so ready himself and wants Alex in him right now. "Do it, do it" He chants into the sheets.

So Alex does and he's carefully using his glistened cum-stained fingers to part open John's entrance. It feels like ages for John since he'd felt Alex's fingers dig into him. It did feel intruding at first but he got into it and started to chant "daddy more" over and over. John wanted to get over that fear of intercourse and that was with Alex if he could so in the future. Alex got him relaxed, made him feel like it was okay and listened to him. Not keep going and ignoring his cries like that first time he'd had sex. He put all his trust into Alex now.

Alex grunts as he's probing his finger up more, he's fingering John the best he could and then he finds it. A moan came from John and Alex pressed down where his fingers landed. "The spot of the almighty, gotcha" He threw in. John is looking at him over his shoulder and the withering look is enough to make Alex chuckle. He gives John a spank just for that though and continues to scuffle more of the cum inside of him, twisting and turning, leading up to John filling the room with hectic cries.

Of Course Alex knew John's cock was dying, begging for attention and so he told John to get on his side. It hurt to move but John did, both his hands gripping the bed sheets all while Alex is working on both ends of him frantically.

"Oh shit, daddy, oh daddy" John is saying through grit teeth. He's in utter bliss right now. Alex is focussed on telling him he's a 'good boy' and to be louder for him. So John does and he's trying not to cry. Eventually he cums himself and Alex is down to his groin within seconds to lap it up. He sits up after he does, sucking off his fingers.

"You taste super sweet, hell yes." He adds and sucks off his last finger like he'd just finished a piece of chocolate.

John is lay there all but sore, drained and sticky. He can smell both their cum and while it's hot, it's also damn gross. Alex falls into a heap beside him and he's trying to catch his own breath. "I wasn't too rough was I?" He asks John as he's grabbing his hair tie off his wrist and tying it into a pony.

"No, it was good." John says quietly, he's trying to steady his breathing. "I liked it"

As he's gone to sit up John groans at the belting pain of his ass. He turns a little towards the huge vanity mirror there on the bed and John's eyes widen. His entire ass is bright red and he's certain a little purple. Alex is watching him sharply.

"You said you wanted me to continue, so I did." Alex tries not to sound too defensive and he is sitting up himself now. Alex places his hand on John's back, he rubs him up and down, right over his aching backside too. "If it gets too much, you really do need to tell me. Honey, are okay you though?"

But John shakes his head, Alex worries before hearing him admit, "I liked it. Kind of... want more." Then he flickers his gaze to Alex's.

Alex turns away when he sees John bite his lip again.

"I think we ought to stop here for today. You've had a good run already, don't push it." Alex gives him an extra pat on the back.

John doesn't care though. He's climbing onto Alex's lap and seductively he's wrapping his arms around Alex's neck. Alex steadies him, he wraps his own arms around John's waist and lazyily plants his face into his disheveled mass of curls. "What the heck am I gonna do with you" He muffles.

"Hit me daddy" Joke's voice playful.

Alex just groans. "No more, you've had enough for today. Don't be greedy". And he pulls back to look John in the face. "So you don't mind being... not dominated. That's not the right word." He drops his gaze for a second and then looks right back at John. "Shit, I meant like, you're alright with a little control over you?" John nods like it's no big deal.

"Alright then, I have to be sure that's all". Alex's sigh is full of relief.

A few minutes pass by and they're just lay there relaxing, curled up together between soft kissing and touching. That's when John couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't laze around with his ass dripping with cum and he felt all gritty. "Hey, is it okay if I hop in the shower?" He asks. Alex presses one last kiss to his lips.

"You don't have to ask, honey you go do what you gotta do" Alex says unbothered.

But John frowns, "Alex, this isn't my home" He said back. "I can't just..."

"Doesn't matter, I'm letting you. Besides Laf doesn't care either, we're really open people. But as long as you're respectful and don't go looking for the vault combination... we don't mind".

John almost gives himself whiplash when he snaps his head back to Alex. "Holy shit, you guys have a vault?!"

Alex snorts and splutters in laughter. He has to sit up properly for a second as he finishes. "Oh, your face. Fuck sake, oh baby. Nah we don't have a vault. What do you think this is?!" John scoffs at Alex in disbelief. He really had him then.

Giving Alex a small shove in the shoulder, he only laughs more and John pouts at him. "Well, you guys _are_ rich."

"Yeah but we're not _that_ far up our own asses!" Alex chuckles as he holds his stomach. "Aw, no, but seriously I don't mind. Go dance around in the living room, strip on the balcony, run a bath _or_ you could be a total lamb, baby boy and sort out our spare room for us!" John ends up pushing him back down, Alex is super cheeky. "Aw, honey!"

He gets up from the bed while saying, "Sort out your junk yourself!"

John looks at himself in the vanity mirror and walks up to have a closer look. Alex really did a number on him, there were actual welds on his ass cheeks and from what used to be freckled tan now remained in bright pink-purple bruising. He winces when he touches one of them. "Fuck" John mutters under his breath. He doesn't notice Alex coming up behind him and his waist is collected by two pairs of arms.

"Perhaps we should get you showered and I'll take care of those-" Alex says and eyes up the bruising on John's backside. "Okay?"

"You're so mean daddy," John kisses him.

Alex playfully nips the end of his nose and John yelps. "No, I'm good to you." He smirks. "Come on, shower time. I gotta scrub you, get your little prince parts all shiny clean!" John gapes and his expression is a look of 'did you really just say that'. Alex laughs more.

 

* * *

 

After a cool shower together involving Alex giving John all the care he needed and rubbing on a bit of cocoa butter for him which John appreciated since he absolutely loved it. They fooled around some more, Alex made them a quick breakfast and they spent the afternoon watching re-run after re-run. Both lounging around on the sofa. John lay at the end of Alex.

John was content just to lie there on his stomach in Alex's lap and doze since their little play session tired him out. But Alex did end up having to move when he brought out his macbook and propped it up on a cushion next to him. John couldn't see what Alex was doing but he presumed he was working. This made John wonder just what did Alex do for a living to afford all of this.

"Alex" He calls softly, a bit shyly too since he wasn't sure if it was his place to ask. Alex may not want him to know but he did tell John that he would expect him to come along to events in the future, all part of his sugaring agreement apparently. It would be nice to know.

Alex had his glasses on and goodness, John was more attracted to him than ever when he'd popped those on earlier. It actually ended in a make-out session there on the sofa, John kissing his face off and fogging up Alex's glasses with his heavy breaths.

"Mmm..." Alex hums as he carries on tapping away.

John winces as he turns a little on his side. "I've been wondering for a while now, what is it you actually do for a living?" He gets out. May as well ask. "Like, you've never told me. It's not a secret is it?"

This time Alex looks over the screen at him. "Nah" He says shrugging. "It's no secret, I just didn't think you'd be interested honey."

"Eh? Why?" John actually feels offended slightly. "I am! It isn't everyday a millionaire walks into a coffee shop, asks you out and badabing-badaboom that's it!" Oh Alex has to smile, frustrated John Laurens was ever so adorable.

"More like a billionaire, actually." Alex covers his mouth for a second but John sees that smile. He gets it, Alex is trying not to show off but it was too late.

John pokes at his foot, Alex squirms it away. He's ticklish. "Easy for some I guess..."

His comment must have struck a nerve in Alex because he closes his laptop and he's the one who's frowning now. "Actually, I grew up with nothing. I was in and out of homes most my life in the system, honey, it wasn't easy."

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, I'm just curious that's all." John is taking Alex's toes by him and squeezing them.

"It started off with just stocks and shares really, I grew a business, got close to a man who's a very good friend of mine." John shoots Alex a burning glare. He wafts his hand at John to brush off anything perverted he may be thinking. "Not like that, god no. I started working for his real estate company, got into that line of business and eventually it all just went from there. If you know what you're doing and how the sausage gets made, honey, you can do anything." Then Alex re-opens his laptop and carries on with his work.

"Damn" says John. "You're very crafty Alex."

Alex just chuckles. "You tryin' to get tips on how I can make you a millionaire baby boy?"

It's John turn to laugh now. "Hey, you never know. Maybe." Then he catches Alex looking at him as serious as can be. He knows Alex would probably do that too. "Not really, uh, truthfully I don't know what I want"

Reaching over to him, Alex ruffles a hand on John's head. "Hun you've got the rest of your life to figure out the future. You gotta concentrate on college right now, get through that first."

"Yeah, I know" John says back miserably.

Alex huffs at whatever it is he's read and is frantically tapping backwards it sounds like. "Well you're fucking gonna, you're attending every lecture and class, I'm not letting you fail." John looks over to him with a raised brow.

"Oh yeah?" He bites back.

"Yeah, cos I've already paid off your tuition".

John's eyes were saucers.

 

* * *

 

When John got back to his dorm he's already missing Alex and god, Alex's penthouse. Well Alex and this Laf's penthouse. But he had to get back since he had work tomorrow despite Alex's protests. He had told John he could stay for how ever long he wanted, Alex didn't care and he looked extremely torn when John had to part ways. It had John thinking whether or not Alex was actually happy with his husband.

Then John wondered if he was actually just a toy for Alex to play with since his husband may be neglecting him. John shook off the morbid thoughts, he couldn't think like that. Alex's eyes glittered when he talked about this other man. No matter how annoying it was and how sickly it was for John to stomach the mentioning of 'Laf' when he was brought up.

As awful as this sounded, John was so tempted to throw in toothpaste into his husband's curly hair products or maybe scrub his toothbrush with the toilet. But John didn't know who's toothbrush was whose otherwise he would have gone for it because fuck it. John didn't like sharing or being cheated on or having his heart torn little by little and abandoned by the only parent he had left because he liked the same gender.

He tried not to think bad thoughts for the rest of the night. It was nearly Christmas and he hadn't heard anything back from home, well off his father. Martha text him almost everyday and John was just worried that she wouldn't have another breakdown. He couldn't be planing it back and forth from New york to Charleston whenever she did. John just worried, really worried Martha would start cutting again and the thought of her doing that sent him bananas.

But so far everyone at home, well, as far as he was aware, was fine.

John sits on his crumpled bed and gasps from the pain in his ass. He hadn't even had anal and this felt just as bad but he'd liked it. He bites on his bottom lip. Alex was certainly helping him find out just what he was into, John had never considered spanking before today or even the possibility of having a sugar daddy. He felt blessed in a way.

He lies back on his bed and just sighs into the silence. He may as well just relax and rest up for another hectic day ahead. More stupid spiced hot chocolate drinks and Christmas latte designs. "God" he mumbles to himself.

Then he looks back to his new coat hung up there in the doorway. In the pocket before he left Alex had smuggled in a spare credit card. Before when they were lay around watching TV and spoke about money. Alex had gifted it to him and told him it was his monthly allowance card. As long as he kept seeing Alex, the money was rolling in.

Alex had text him the online banking details too and he did offer John to pay into his account monthly but John said the credit card was more than enough. He was grateful of Alex even considering and going through the trouble of getting him his own.

John shook his head as he smiled at the memory from earlier. Alex had given it to him in an luxury red envelope with "To my baby boy, love daddy" and a big kiss right underneath. Alex had such perfect handwriting John had ever seen in his entire life, it was beautiful.

So many things surprised him about that man and every time they met another popped up. John shakes off his soppy smile and turns over to grab his phone to play a game. He has to keep reminding himself though...

"He's married you idiot" John whispers to himself.

And guys like Alex who have everything, who are even married to someone they claim they love, really are never satisfied.

John felt like he was living proof of that.

The next time John heard from Alex was a few days after since Alex had been called to an office over in California. They called a few times, there was a little phone sex in-between but John rather have the real thing so it barely lasted long.

In the end John did get his college projects finished on time, he made sure he did because not only did he have Alex hitting him up at 1 in the morning with "I hope you're getting on with you college work ;)" and "I'll spank you till you're in tears next time honey if you don't get the project finished!". Luckily he did and he messaged Alex as soon as it was submitted. Alex responded with "Daddy is so proud of you! That's my good boy. I'll treat you next time we meet up".

There was little to no time left until Christmas. It was practically here, only three days away. John didn't give two fucks either since he decided he wasn't going home. Shifts at the coffee shop were extending until 10 at night, it was ridiculous but John still found enjoyment in the long shifts with Hercules by his side, all banter and smiles made the night fly by.

Alex had given the option of not working but John had to work. He liked the job, he liked his colleagues and Hercules was probably his second best friend now. Plus he felt bad if he did give it up. No matter who long, tiring and how bad his anxiety played up some days.

After waving Hercules off with a 'have a good evening bro' and 'later dude' between them. John was walking down the street and decided to head to Whole Foods before they shut for the night. He was starving and he'd been given the option of grabbing something at work to take home but after serving panini sandwiches and bagels all day he just didn't feel like he could bare looking at another.

The dark sky had more stars out than usual tonight. John buried himself deeper into his precious scarf and new coat, happy to be harboured in possessions from people who liked best. Blowing out a spark of cold air he also yawned. He wondered what his siblings were doing right now, how his mom was doing and sadly to say, his father. New York was amazing, at Christmas time it was even more amazing but it could be lonely.

After all this was a big city and he was just this one country boy by himself. He'd came here all alone and even with all his friends made, John still felt empty, still broken and overall, sad.

As he was trying his dandiest to get over his own self pity, his phone was vibrating and so he grabbed it out.

Of course, it was Alex.

"Hey you," John says softly. His voice still hollow from his low feelings.

On the other end he could hear Alex fumbling, sounds of cars and traffic in the background. "Hey! Baby boy, you okay?"

John bit back his true feelings. He didn't like having others worry about him truthfully and that break down the other week in Alex's bedroom had been embarrassing when he remembered. God he couldn't believe he'd done that.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good. What's up?"

If John was certain he was sure he could hear someone else with Alex. "Yeah, yeah I'm good. Alright, honey are you free right now?"

"Sure, yeah I've just finished work though."

He can hear another voice down on Alex's end and Alex is laughing with someone before going back to John, "Good, okay, well I was wondering if you would like to meet me for dinner? I promised I'd treat you after getting all your work done."

Ah that was right. John covers his yawn up and hopes Alex doesn't hear. He was so hungry, he didn't even care about sleep just yet. Free dinner was always good. "Yeah, where we going? I worked the longest shift in my life... I'm beyond famished".

"Don't they do waffles and all that shit at your place?" There was that voice again, it sounded like Alex was agreeing with someone. John didn't think much of it though.

John squints his eyes for a moment, he hopes Alex isn't bringing someone else along. He thought it was just the pair of them when they ever met. John crosses the road and he's waiting. He needs to know where he's going. "Yeah, yeah but they're gross. Alex where am I meeting you?"

He then hears Alex go 'alright, yeah yeah' and John isn't sure he can even understand Alex at one point. It sounded foreign. the line goes off for a moment before Alex comes back to him.

"Sorry baby boy, sorry I've just got- yeah okay, meet meeeee atttt that place facing where we had a drink together on our second date." John knew where he meant, it wasn't too far from where he was and so hurried his pace. It was freezing, he couldn't wait to get inside wherever the hell it was they were supposed to be eating.

Alex gave John the address of the place and he knew where. It was this gorgeous restaurant on top of some bar. John waited outside once he got there and he was looking around for Alex, who, hadn't turned up. He was always late though so this came as no shocker. It was just easier to call him since John had no energy for texting.

"Hey kitten" Alex coos down the line.

John scowls to himself. It didn't sound like Alex was outside anymore, there was no wind rushing into his speaker and instead it sounded like there was music, people and laughter.

"The hell are you? I'm stood out here waiting!" John gripes, he's cold and impatient as ever. Some daddy Alex was for leaving him in the snow.

Just then the line went dead. John is looking around and since he's waiting, he has a nosey peak at the bar. Tons of people were dancing, people in booths laughing through the window there. He sighs to himself annoyed.

"John!"

There's an attitude in the way John turns to face Alex who's stood in the doorway of the restaurant. John looks him up and down displeased but he has to say that Alex looks really, really good.

He's got his usual man-bun up, dressed in a crisp white shirt, tidy black jeans and belt. John can actually smell Alex from where he's stood too, his cologne smells amazing, no doubt expensive and probably from some high brand John has never heard of. Bit of a contrast to him who's smelling of coffee beans and salami.

"You could've told me you'd be upstairs" John huffs.

Alex jogs over to him and he's pulling John into a tight hug. He pecks him on the forehead even. "Oh honey, you know I'm sorry. I thought you'd honestly would have just come in yourself! It's fucking cold, god, let's go upstairs quick. C'mon hun."

John tells him it's okay, he allows himself to be pulled through the door and taken up the stairs to the restaurant. Alex pushes the glass door open to where they would be dining and it isn't too fancy. It's a mixture of your general restaurant that's trying to show some class but it's friendly at least.

There are people his age there and John could have sworn he'd seen some of these people around his campus. The music playing is alternative, there was a big neon hot-dog sign on the bright wall revealing its self and a sexy cow-girl riding it. So it was that type of place. It was some kind of crazy grill.

Even though he worked in a coffee shop John still got a bit edgy with tons of people around him. This place was hyper too, people were bobbing to whatever was playing in the bar area and he assumed it was just a smaller extension of the bar downstairs.

Alex sensed that he must be a bit nervous by the crowds as he moved his hand down his back leading John to wherever they were going. "Alex" John practically shouts, the music is so loud. Alex is grinning at him. "Where are we going?"

There were so many people packed in one place. Alex always chose the most busiest and hectic places to eat. But John remembered, Alex was a people person. He was outgoing and loved to socialise, a little different to his own introverted self. John thought maybe it was part of Alex's plan. Get him out more.

"To our table! Where else baby?" Alex gives him a pat on the back and John can feel his hand lower down to his backside. With Alex behind him like that he moves closer to John's ear, whispering and giggling, "Hope you're in the mood for _lots_ of meat tonight".

John glanced back at him, their eyes locking and John knew what that meant.

Then Alex goes, "You gotta relax honey, I'm here." Then he feels Alex squeeze his behind, John's not sure if he's gone red from that or the fact that the heat in this place was like hell. It was roasting.

Through the countless amounts of people in their way, Alex managed to barge them both through and they were heading towards the other side of the restaurant where the booths were. It was a bit quieter but not too much. There was still plenty of people laughing and screaming in them. They were all full up too John noticed apart from one there, second to last that had a guy sat there.

John looks back to Alex with a questioning look. "Where are we sitting? Alex, it's full up here." That's when Alex takes his hands completely off him and he slides them into the pockets of his jeans. Alex is biting his lip with a smile.

"About that honey..."Alex trails off and he's scratching the back of his head, John had never seen Alex so on edge before. But John is glad that they can finally hear each other without having to show or whisper in each others ears.

As Alex's gaze leaves his own, John follows it and he sees this guy step out the booth.

Now John had to actually catch his breath here because what he sees now is the most handsome, amazing, gorgeous specimen of a man he had ever seen. In his whole twenty-one years of living, he has never seen a guy this gorgeous in person.

He's tall and definitely over six foot. He's no doubt biracial, he's got gorgeous curls in a puff-bun and he's dressed lovely. A stunning blue blazer complimenting his warm caramel skin, over a white crisp shirt like Alex's, dark pair of jeans and polished shoes. This guy has the right amount of scruff on his face too, it's shaved and sculpted to perfection John notices.

Putting two and two together John already knows who this is. He's speechless, he's sweating like a pig and he feels suddenly very self conscious.

Alex takes John's hand and as this guy approaches him, John only being able to stare and this guy is smiling at him pleasantly. He reveals his pearly-whites when he shifts his eyes to Alex who automatically leans up for a kiss.

John feels his heart stop.

Then after they've pecked each other on the lips, he looks over to John with a sexy, sexy smirk. He's got his hand out to John, all John does is look at it. Alex squeezes his hand again, John takes it as a sign to shake it back and so he does.

His hands are warm and silky.

Then John sees the ring. Oh boy.

This guy finally breaks the silence. "Pleasure to finally meet you, I am Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette." he purrs and with the hand he has John's in, he takes it to his mouth and presses a soft kiss upon it. John wants to die right now, he can't believe this is happening. "You can call me Lafayette, cheri."

John doesn't miss the way this guy's hold lingers for a second longer either. He gives John's hand a little pinch of a squeeze before letting go.

It seemed Alex picked up on John's sudden shock and discomfort so he clears his throat. He puts his hand on this Lafayette's arm and John is daggering at the way Alex is rubbing his thumb on his sculpted arm, oh so beautiful arm in circles.

"Yeah, so uh, John, I'd like you to meet Laf. He's my husband."

With that confirmation out the way, John doesn't know whether his heart is breaking or his balls are aching.

"Nice to meet you, John Laurens" John says sullenly. He tries to give him a smile but its forced and Alex can tell.

He's watching John from the corner of his eye and John can feel his glaring almost burrowing into his soul.

Lafayette claps his hands together and tries to make light of a very awkward situation. He smiles at them both, well mostly John. "Now, would you like to finally dine with us?" Although John had to admit, his french accent was fucking sexy.

He looked to Alex who's eyes were pleading him to just go along with it and be civil. John's then bounced back to Lafayette's and he fake smiles again for the second time.

"Sure, lets".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to update again... I couldnt help myselffffff!
> 
> Yay now Laf is here ;) oo la la
> 
> PS. A lot of people refer to Laf/Thomas/Daveed (actor) as full black but he's actually half - I just wanted to throw that down incase people are like "huh" 
> 
> So is Peggy/Maria/Jasmine (actress) 
> 
> :) and myself eyyyy


	6. CHRISTMAS EVE

John had been asked to slip into the curved booth first with a charming 'after you' from this Lafayette. So he awkwardly did and Alex slipped in on the other side to where his crumpled jacket was already placed. Lafayette slid in with such grace on John's side leaving John in the middle while Alex and Lafayette were able to face each other.

There was already a jug of water there on the table and three glasses at the ready. This had been planned then.

While Alex and Lafayette made a little small talk between them about who was going up to the bar for the drinks. John was looking around at the restaurant, the smell was amazing. He could smell the juices from the meats and that only made him hungrier. Also it was wild in here, jammed pack for a weekday night. But it was Christmas so he figured, work celebrations were happening.

The restaurant even have a massive Christmas tree in the corner, baubles of different shaped meats and lewd cowgirls with their tits out wearing santa hats. Decorations snaked around the counters and ceiling.

John had to squint because he was sure he recognised someone over the other side from them, that was from his animation class and they must have seen him too. They gave him a grin and a wave, shyly John waved back, dropping his gaze immediately. Alex and Lafayette must have saw this, Alex gives him a subtle nudge with his leg under the table. "Friend of yours?" He asks, John figures Alex was after getting him to talk. About anything rather than sit in silence.

So he finds his voice again, nervously looked to Alex and nods. "Yeah, just a dude from my class."

Then Lafayette finally tunes in. It felt weird to have an extra addition to their date, John was far used to it being only Alex. At least Lafayette was decent to look at if that counted for something. In fact he was so good looking to the point where John did feel out of place, especially with the way he was eyeing John up. Like, right down for instance. "Ah yes, that is right. Alexander told me that you are in college. How quaint. What is it you are studying?" He asks, John watches him take a sip of his water and this Lafayette's dark eyes were captivating. They were sleek and pretty, perhaps a tad mysterious but a contrast to Alex's big puppy brown eyes.

"I do animation and graphic design" John says and he curses himself at how small he sounds.

Alex must've noted it too because he nudges John with his foot again. Probably to get him to talk a bit more than he was doing, John knew he had to make some effort. "Uh, it's a combined course but I'm more into the animation side of things." He finishes and reaches for his glass.

As he does, John is just about to grab the jug of water but Lafayette beats him to it and he's already pouring him a glass. John thanks him quietly and he isn't sure where to look, who to look at. He feels really out of place with these two.

John doesn't see since he's glancing probably at the menu there in its holder on the table. But Lafayette is casting Alex a worried look and Alex mouths to him 'He's shy" which has Lafayette just smiling. He gets it.

So to break the silence Lafayette cuts back in, "That's amazing! Sweet and smart." John feels himself burn up, it's only a compliment but he is certain from the way Lafayette is staring at him, all those little gestures he's done so far that he's backhandedly trying to flirt with him. "I am intrigued to hear all about you Mon ami, Alexander has told me a great about you. He tells me you originally were birthed in the south, is that correct?"

Oh John fails to hide his slight frown. Who the hell says that type of thing? John forgets english isn't going to be his firth language, still though it sounded strange. Also it leaves John wondering just how much of their private meets and greets between him and Alex, has he told to his husband. He instantly refreshes his expression, eyes back over to Lafayette who's waiting, smiling and says, "Ah, yeah, I was born in South Carolina."

Alex is watching them intently, John figures Alex is praying that they both get along. Lafayette's brow rose up in interest. "Oh and what is it like there?"

A shrug from John. It's normal to him there but probably nowhere near like where Lafayette came from. "Hot, everything is far apart, religious and-"

"God forbid we show our faces down there Laf" Alex butts in playfully. John's head snaps to him and he's glaring at Alex.

"Alexander" Lafayette scolds. John doesn't miss just how fast Alex stops his giggling, he notices how sharp and just how quickly Lafayette can snap out of his nice side. John wonders just who takes lead in their marriage. Lafayette sighs, he reaches to John's forearm there resting on the table and pats it. "I'm sorry, Alexander can be extremely, rude-" Lafayette darts his eyes back to his husband who's got a dubious grin on his face. "sometimes, Mon ami".

John turns to Alex with a slight smirk of his own. "Yeah, he can"

Alex is left gaping at them both. "Oh! Thanks you two! Oh my god, I bring him here to meet you and you're both already ganging up on me."

Lafayette waves his husband off. "It's your own doing Mon Cher. Anyway, so John Laurens, I take it you are not much older than perhaps, 19?"

With a shake of the head, John swallows his water. "I'm 21" He thought Alex would have told him his age if anything.

"Would you believe it Laf?" Alex chips in. Lafayette looks back to him surprised, still grinning and Alex smirking. John looked back and forth at them, as if they were in on some kind of joke he didn't know about. "I've bagged myself such a little looker" and Alex shifts closer to him to pull at John's chubbed cheek.

As Alex does this, John looks in Lafayette's direction and to John's surprise, he doesn't look one bit bothered by Alex giving him attention. Lafayette just laughs and gives John such an apologetic look before he says, "Alexander, please give the poor boy some space. He does not want you to humiliate him in public. Isn't that right John Laurens?"

John is quite thankful for Lafayette getting Alex to stop. Some people were staring at them, not that Alex or Lafayette seemed to care. "Mm" He mumbles.

Since Lafayette was doing all the questioning, John thought maybe he should start firing back some himself. Meeting Lafayette's gaze again, John clears his throat and confidently he said, "You can just call me John, I don't mind. Also can I ask... how old are you? You look extremely young yourself".

Lafayette did, just like Alex looked ten years younger. But Alex wasn't lying, he was well in his thirties, John had seen his ID before today. "I am 36 years old, Mon ami." He said with pride. "I look much younger, non?" then Lafayette chuckles.

The french kind of threw John off a bit, he was still getting used to Lafayette's accent. Some of what he was saying were very broad with that French edge and John had to ask Lafayette to repeat himself a few times.

"Yeah, you both do" John looks back and forth at them. Alex is biting his lip, he's got that mischievous look in his dark eyes and John knows. Lafayette's smile grows. "I was kinda shocked actually... when Alex first told me he was 37. I thought he was straight out of college" He admits.

Alex laughs loudly. "Oh honey, it's been a while since those days." He doesn't hide the way he clasps John's hand infront of his husband either. Squeezing it. "But least I got you, huh? You'll keep me young." Alex exasperates. John scoffs at the way Alex cheekily flutters his eyes.

Lafayette covers his mouth and tries not to laugh. "Alexander" He says sternly or tries to.

"He does Laf! Found myself a little fountain of youth on legs - pair of sexy legs, damn."

John has gone red. He can't with these two. He really can't.

That's when Lafayette breaks in to save him, "Alexander, if you will Mon cher, please go get us some drinks. You already know my order, John what would you like to drink?"

"Just a beer please" John says quickly. He glares up at Alex as he's starting to stand from his seat. He is smirking then ruffles a hand through his curls.

"Orange juice did you say honey? Okay, I'll get you that." He teases. John whines and Lafayette is giving another 'Alexander' in his stern voice. Alex just laughs as he's shuffling out the boot. "Alright, alright. I'll grab your daiquiri and a beer for you, my lovely". Then within seconds he's jogging up to the bar.

With Alex gone it feels like there is a bit less tension between both John and Lafayette. John's whiny expression fades and he's looking back over to Lafayette who has his hands resting on his chin, staring at him.

"Thanks for that," John says awkwardly. "Alex... he's always teasing me. I'm pretty used to it now though"

The french man could only chuckle and he roll his eyes. "Yes, that's Alexander for you. He's harmless, although he is a sensitive soul." John tilts his head at him, he's not sure where this is going. "He seems to have taken quite a liking to you John. I am sure you are very aware that, Alex has stated the facts of our marriage."

Oh, he's aware alright. "Yeah, you guys are in an open marriage?" John tries not to sound too bitter.

Lafayette's grand grin stretches and he nods. "Indeed, we are and we are both very much in love, Mon ami. I have been wanting to meet you since Alexander told me all about you. You see, Alexander tends to have a habit of working from coffee shops and when he found your place of work, Alexander did mention he had his eye set on someone handsome." Lafayette's eyes don't move from him. John's more on edge by the second.

"Although, he was distressed over your first date. Things did not got well towards the end I hear." Then he takes a sip of his water and John feels suddenly annoyed, he remembers how he kicked Alex out that night when he told him he was a married man. As far as John was aware, he thought Alex was having him on the side in secret. "I am sure it must have come as a shock, non? He came home very upset that evening"

John holds his hands up defensively. "H-Hey look, I didn't know he was married until after we, uh, y'know." He stammers, voice wavering. John didn't really want to go into depth about his and Alex's bedroom affairs. Just meeting Lafayette alone was more than enough for one evening.

When putting his glass down, Lafayette then holds up his hand and goes, "I don't mean to cause any alarm. I am aware that our marriage, well, our relationship is strange to most. But do not fret John." He stresses. "I am welcome to you being a part of Alexander's life, you make him happy. That makes me _very_ happy too".

With that information John deflates. He feels better. "Are you... sure?"

Lafayette takes John's hand from the table, John's heart races and he places his other hand over it. "Alexander does become very attached easily, Mon ami. But you - ah you are special. Different to the others he has pursued. You make his day brighter, I am glad for that. But please, take good care of his heart." Lafayette stares into his eyes for too long and John feels captivated in them.

Of course John remembers that Alex had a very rough upbringing, it was as if Lafayette was pleading not to hurt Alex. It wasn't a threat but John didn't know or want to ask about Alex's history too much. It already knew that from the basics that it wasn't a happy childhood.

But Lafayette's eyes - they're so warm, they're inviting and suddenly he doesn't feel nervous anymore to be around him.

Maybe John got Lafayette wrong, he seemed like a good man and all those things he wanted to do, sabotaging his hair products and such, those ideas were all gone. John felt quite bad for even thinking of wanting to do that now.

"I will" John says back, he couldn't stop staring into them eyes. His palms were sweating up and John was sure Lafayette could feel it. He gently releases John's hold and for some reason, John didn't want him to let go.

With that topic coming to a close, Lafayette is staring down at him and John sees that he still has his coat on. "Oh yeah, forgot" John is unbuttons it and he's shimmying out of it.

"You have spectacular taste I see, Mon ami, it suits you well" Lafayette says, almost a little too flirtatiously.

John fiddles his thumb around the fabric on one of the buttons. "Ah thanks, yeah, Alex kinda said the same too"

Lafayette reaches to give it a feel. John doesn't mind and he figures Lafayette is just as touchy feely as Alex is. They're both as open and blatant with their thoughts. "Feels very expensive, a student with class and taste. I'm impressed" and he moves back, eyes still on John and they're back to silence.

It didn't last long because minutes later Alex was back with their drinks. "Right my darlings! One daiquiri for you, Laf take it-" John kind of regrets not asking for one of those pink flashy daiquiri Lafayette has. It looked damn delicious.

John has a beer of course. "What do you drink Mon Ami?" Lafayette asks as he's going for his cocktail.

He grabs his beer and takes a quick swig. God that felt like heaven. "Just Sam Adams"

"Are you... what is that word?" Lafayette glances to Alex for help. Alex sits down, he meets Lafayette's gaze as soon as he's diving into his own beer. "Alcoholic? Is that right word?"

Alex just snorts, he nearly chokes on his beer and laughs more. "Alexander!" Lafayette cries, sounding obviously embarrassed by his mishap. John is just sat there sipping away and looking confused.

"Nah, Laf, an alchy is someone who can't stop drinking and usually piss away their lives. John just loves a good drink, don't you honey?" Alex shuffles closer to John and tosses his arm over his shoulder. "He usually has a good two beers, sometimes works on three"

Lafayette can't see the way John is scowling at his husband right now, he wasn't too comfortable having Alex cling to him the way his was and constantly try to make him flustered. "Alexander, you're embarrassing the poor thing. I am sorry Mon ami, pardon my English. I know, I really _should_ keep him on a dog leash".

Then that's when John sees that shared look between John and Alex. It had him wondering, what were they both thinking. It felt like it was something he should not even question, so he doesn't.

"Aw, I'm sorry honey" Alex pats his knee under the table and John's cheek's flush when he can feel Alex's hand stoop up near his crotch. "I'm just so glad I get to show you off to Laf. It's been weeks now and we really just wanted to all get together once he got back-"

"Alexander, I'm sat right infront of you." Lafayette cuts in with a sigh. Alex ignores him.

"From his business trip." He finishes before saying, "I just want to share my life with you honey, _involve_ you, Laf had to meet you and so I just thought taking you out to dinner with him would be best".

Lafayette hums in agreement. Then he leans in on the table, chin resting on his hands. "It was initially supposed to be private meal for three but Alexander decided... more atmosphere around you may ease you Mon ami".

John gave a nod to show he was listening. "And they do fucking amazing steak here! Oh my god, can we just order now? I'm hella hungry" Alex says, he squeezes the inner of John's thigh and John looks back to him. "I hope you're hungry."

"Actually, I could eat a horse!" John confirms and he goes to grab a menu.

Lafayette grabs one for himself. "I must alert you Mon ami, horse meat is terrible. I highly recommend you do not eat it. Ever." John had to chuckle at the fact that Lafayette had took his comment seriously. It was sweet in a way.

"Laf, it's a saying babe." John's stomach churned hearing Alex call him 'babe' and he didn't know if he was as hungry now. It was ridiculous, they were married but it still irked him.

"I know that Mon cher. But I come from France, horse meat there is common and the slaughtering of them is barbaric..." He says, all while trailing through the menu.

John's eye actually twitched at the irony and Alex snickered. "Like you aren't about to devour a huge fucking burger!"

Lafayette just shrugs. "They're magnifique creatures. I think I will have a burger actually Mon cher, perhaps a side of BBQ wings, the chilli fries too".

Alex is shaking his head at him as he calls his husband a 'pig' and then shuffles up closer to John so he could share his menu, John could feel Alex's breath tickle the back of his nape, that's how close he was. "Whatcha gonna get?" Alex says into his ear. John would have thought this habit of Alex's would annoy the living shit out of him by now but it didn't.

So John went with some Mexican themed chilli burger meal set since anything southern was out the window, as if he hadn't eaten every southern food known to man already. Alex got his steak and Lafayette basically ordered half the restaurant. John was shocked how much Lafayette could eat, for such a tall lean man he ate a crazy amount and fast too. John wasn't even half way through his burger and the pair of them were almost done.

Alex was sucking off his sticky fingers, he had offered both Lafayette and John to try his steak. John with a mouthful of food had to pass up on the offer but Lafayette happily took half of it.

John looked between them both before saying, "Where do you both put it all?" He jokes lightly with a laugh. "God, you're worse than my friend Peggy."

Lafayette grins as he swallows his mouthful of chicken wing and Alex finishes sucking his fingers. John sees how Alex looks at him too as he's done with a slick lick to his thumb.

"Ah, hun, forgot to tell ya we're both huge foodies. Well Laf is more than me, he's like a bottomless pit. Aren't you babe?" He jeers to his husband. Lafayette flips him off, Alex laughs and flips him off right back.

And after one more mouthful of burger, John is officially done. He can't eat that much truthfully. He puts it down and has to sit back for a second just to take a break.

Alex gives him a prod in the side. "Finish it"

He shakes his head at Alex. "Can't"

But then Alex jokingly whispers into his ear, "Finish your dinner, otherwise, daddy won't let you leave the table".

John looked to Lafayette, he hoped he hadn't heard Alex, but it seemed Lafayette was too busy polishing off his side of onion rings and chilli dip to really care.

John tosses his head back and pouts at Alex. "If I eat anymore, I'll die Alex" He whines. Lafayette is studying the pair of him, he's taking his drink and downing the rest.

"You two are a good fit I must say." He says, voice charming. "A very cute couple" Lafayette's eyes are on John as he finishes.

Hazel eyes widening, John feels himself stiffen. He didn't realise till now that Alex is practically his boyfriend or was he? He didn't really know. John didn't know if they were a couple or were they just fuck buddies. They hadn't discussed it. He found Alex's hand under the table there on the chair of the booth and Alex's took it, lacing their fingers.

"Mm, I found myself a little charmer." Alex presses a kiss in the crook of his neck, John is whelping from the sudden contact and Lafayette is sat there watching laughing lightly at his husband's antics.

"Alex..." John mutters while going bright red again for the umpteenth time that evening.

It also just makes Alex doe it again and this time it's on his blazing freckled-cheek. "Light of my life, fire of my loins, isn't that right honey..." He murmurs sweetly into John's ear. Only he heard that and John feels breathless for a second. John squeezes his fingers under the table, Alex takes that as a 'yes'.

"You seem very smitten Mon cher" Lafayette establishes.

He doesn't even look one bit bothered too, John thought there would be jealously written all over Lafayette's face but he is cool as a cucumber. Infact, he looked as if he is enjoying watching his husband coo and fuss over him. Maybe Lafayette got off on it.

"You should careful, John Laurens is an attractive young man." Lafayette has his eyes planted on him again. John doesn't know what to say at that, he's thankful sure. "He could be easily snatched away." Lafayette's gaze was worse than Alex's. You could feel it underneath your skin.

Alex moved forward so he's in John's tain of sight and kisses him point blank. "Oh, they'd have to fight me. But smitten? That I am." Then he leans back and just chuckles at how worked up John's become.

They spent the rest of dinner talking, mostly about John's childhood and while John does his absolute best not to bring up the sad parts, he tells them about the good things. How little Henry is the captain of his football team at John's old high school, he tells them about his baby sister Mary's passion to become an actress because she loves theatre and who she was currently taking part in a school production for a historical story. She was a bit geeky but John loved her.

John also does tell them about his other younger brother, James, but he said to them both that everyone called him Jimmy and that he's a pro at baseball. Yet had a weird fascination with collecting lizards and snakes. Lafayette's face paled at this information.

Then lastly there was Martha, Martha who didn't really do anything. She was normal, a little fragile and healing. Martha who broke John's heart. He lied and told them that she was a dancer instead of the truth.

John wasn't ashamed of Martha, but he didn't think it was right nor the right time to tell them about his sister's deep-rooted depression. She was in and out of counselling half of her life. John just wanted to keep that part about her to himself, no one else needed to know. She was his to protect.

He didn't even speak about his father, instead John told them he worked a lot and that was it. Alex gave him a particular look when he brought up Henry Laurens since he already knew the heavy details, but Lafayette didn't need to know that whole sob story.

To make light of the situation for himself, John grabbed out his phone and shown them pictures of his siblings. "God, you're all so alike... just freckles and curls." Alex mumbles.

Lafayette nods in agreement. He reaches to John's phone, taps on the family picture of them all together to have a closer look. "I agree with Alexander, you are all very beautiful. You have a stunning family John Laurens". Lafayette says with a smile.

It turned out that neither Alex or Lafayette had any siblings. Well Alex said he had a half brother on his dad's side called 'James' but he'd never met him and apparently didn't give a fuck. Lafayette mentioned he was an only child growing up, he had plenty of cousins, aunts and uncles.

But Lafayette said that his mother passed away when he was only a child and his father ended up remarrying but shortly died of cancer. Lafayette proudly said that it was his grandparents who had raised him and made him the man who he was today.

John also found out that Alex and Lafayette met at college. Lafayette was an exchange student here for business and had met Alex on a night out where he'd gotten into a brawl. Lafayette had been the one to drag Alex out the bar and clean him up, from then on it'd been history. John could only suspect it was Alex's mouth that got him in trouble.

They had a couple more drinks, some more brief chatter and the restuaunt was slowly beginning to die down. It was calmer and the music was more chilled out. There was a scuffle over the bill between Lafayette and Alexander since they were both insistent on paying. John sat there in the middle watching two wealthy men fumble with their credit cards and bicker like a married couple actually do.

In the end Alexander paid because he said it was his idea first and they ended it there. John forgot just how awfully cold it was outside, his teeth immediately chattering when he stepped out and he bundled himself up in his scarf quickly. Lafayette was the second out, he was slipping into his main coat as he was coming down the stairs and Alex followed suit, he had yet again been chatting to the waiter, which kept them all waiting.

Lafayette helped Alex into his coat, John pretended to look away as they were doing that although he was glancing sneakily in the corner of his eye. Alex caught him nicely though and he bounces over to him. "Aw honey, I hope you've had a nice time tonight. I'm really happy you came!" Alex says happily and he's pecking John on the forehead. Lafayette is taking Alex's hand.

"I am very glad to have finally had the chance to meet you as well, Mon ami. It's been an honour." Lafayette had such a formal way with words, John really wanted the guy to chill and just use normal English if he was brutally honest.

John smiles, genuinely. "I'm glad to have met you too, Lafayette. Also, Alex, thank you." and although he wants to kiss Alex right there, John's stomach is doing flips and he still feels nervous to do so infront of Lafayette.

Alex waves him off. He knows he'll be thanked in other ways.

So that made John wonder where this was leaving off to now. It was John who started walking first one way, he didn't know where he was actually going but he would make his way back home from one of the routes. Alex is right by his side, quickly catching up to him Lafayette is on the other side of Alex.

"We've been meaning to ask, honey, what are you doing for Christmas?" Alex asks.

Lafayette clears his throat. "Yes, me and Alexander usually take our Christmas holiday back in my hometown of Paris. But this year we decided we would stay home."

John's heart begins to drum, they were going to ask him to spend Christmas with them.

Alex sighs, "Yeah but Laf, we did Paris last year and the year before that babe. I kinda just want to chill at home this year, I love your little cousins to death, you know this but fuck I need a break!" Lafayette chuckles at him, obviously knowing something John doesn't. John gives Alex a strange look. "Laf's got these evil little cousins who always make me play aeroplane and rocket. Turns your arms to jelly, ugh. I'm officially off uncle duty this year - no brats this year, thank god!" They all laugh when Alex actually fist pumps in the air.

Lafayette gives him a budge. "Now Mon cher, you know you love them".

"Like a pain in the ass!" He budges Lafayette right back.

Then John tunes in, "Actually I know the feeling... when Jimmy and Mary were really little, they always asked me to do the same!" They all laughed together and John thought it felt better, nicer to join in rather than be on the sidelines.

But that didn't last and John was in an awkward position once again. "Are you going back to Charleston for Christmas?" Alex asks.

If John was correct, it sounded like Alex was hoping he'd say no. But John didn't know, he had no plans and he sure as hell wasn't going home. "I, uh, I don't think I am."

Alex instantly brightened up and Lafayette peered over at him too.

"Do you want to spend Christmas with us?" Alex asks cheerfully.

"You're very welcome to celebrate Christmas with us Mon ami" Lafayette adds. "I must warn you, Alexander drinks a lot." Alex gives him a dig in his side and then hooks his arm through John's.

"That's true, that's true. Just bring the beer if you're gonna join us honey. All we do really is eat, sleep and get drunk." says Alex. To John that didn't sound like such a bad Christmas.

"Not to forget, Alexander insists we watch Elf countlessly," Lafayette adds. "He knows the script" Alex nods like he's proud.

John snorts at the pair. Two grown men discussing Christmas movies.

"Well its a New York Christmas tale!"

Then John has to chip in at this, "Actually, Home Alone 2 is the ultimate New York Christmas movie Alex."

Alex shoots John a betrayed look, like he couldn't believe what he was hearing and Lafayette goes, "Ha! I told you Mon Cher! I am always correct, non?" and Alex snaps his head back to Lafayette telling him to shush then he's looking back to John.

"How?! God, I remember when it first came out and everyone thought it was the shit even back then." He gripes "I'm sorry, but what kind of parents just fuck off and leave their kid two times on Christmas!" Alex actually sounded annoyed. Both John and Lafayette laugh at him which only throws more fuel in the fire. "I'm being serious!"

"It's still a good movie," John defends. "You know, I've always wondered, is Mr Dunkins toy shop actually real?" Alex tilts his head at John, adoration in his eyes. John could be so precious.

Lafayette chuckles, "Ah, no Mon ami, it was only for the movie." John lets out an 'aw' and pouts. He kind of hoped it was real. Just so he could go and brag to his siblings on the phone that he'd actually stepped foot inside the place.

"See what I mean? That movie is the worst. Kids get lost, two creeps are running after some kid and people think it's fine! Then you've got my poor little John, right here-" Alex takes back hold of John's hand. "Crushed! Making him believe some toy shop was real!"

"My goodness, Mon Cher, it is only a Christmas movie. It is not real." Lafayette gives Alex a pat on his lower back. "Little Kevin was reunited with his family in the end, you must remember that." They're all giggling apart from Alex.

Alex doesn't even bother arguing back, he rolls his eyes at Lafayette but then immediately perks back up again.

"Oh and hey! Laf's even gone got us a big tree!"

Lafayette nods, "It is real too. I do not like the faux trees. I think they look too cheap".

"Me and my family always used to get real ones. But... my father just thought the fake ones were easier." John says, he drops his gaze and tries not to sound too sad. His father always used to all take them all to pick up a real tree, he did this even after their mother died for the first couple of years and then he gave up. Told them all just to put up the fake one from the attic.

Alex could tell something was up, he brushes his thumb on the surface of John's hand and grips his hand tighter. "I did not mean to offend!" Lafayette hurriedly says. John tells him it's fine, he didn't really like the fake trees himself but it was what it was.

"I bet it looks pretty awesome in your place, you have an amazing home by the way Lafayette" John says, stirring away from any negatives in their conversation.  
Lafayette thanks him and that's when the question arrises again.

"Would you like the come back with us?" Lafayette asks him. Alex turns to Lafayette with a furrowed brow. John guesses that Alex didn't actually plan for him to come back with them, it stung a little but John didn't mind too much. He was tired. "Alexander will mostly be in his office, he still has a lot to do before Christmas. Business matters mostly Mon ami. You are welcome to make yourself a home, I can offer you drinks and-"

John had to cut him off. "Thanks, uh but I really can't. I have an early shift tomorrow" He didn't but John didn't feel too comfortable going back to their place now that Lafayette was back.

Alex was staring at him from the side. He could tell John was lying. Lafayette simply nods and smiles. "Well there offer is still there and if you would like, you can join us for Christmas".

"Laf is cooking by the way, sorry! I can't cook for shit" Alex laughs.

It all sounded really nice but John didn't want to impose. He secretly wanted to join them, it sounded like fun but it was Christmas and they're married. They probably wanted to spend the day with each other. Since Lafayette has been away too, Alex probably missed him and wanted to spend time with him instead. John realises that him and Alex have been fairly full on since meeting afterall.

"Thank you both but I can't... I don't know. Um, I'll let you know. I think uh, Peggy might want me over at Christmas." John says briskly. Alex knows he's lying, John was a terrible liar and Lafayette probably knew he was trying to be polite by declining the offer.

"Well..." says Alex. He's squeezing John's hand. "Honey, you give me a call if you feel up to it. I'll pick you up."

Alex doesn't pressure him like John thought he would have and Lafayette respects his decision. They both walk John to the end of the curb and Alex grabs John a cab. The pair of them were both adamant to walk John to his dorm but John said he could get home safely enough. Alex pays the driver, kisses John quickly on the lips and with that John is waving them both goodbye out the window.

They watch as the cab drives off and a part of John sinks inside of him. He feels like he should have took up the offer and doesn't forget the sullen look on Alex's face. Obviously wanting and hoping that John would have chosen to stay. John wished he had too.

 

* * *

 

Over the course of the next two days John was still working his late shifts and he noticed Alex hadn't been in to see him since they left the restaurant. He had heard from Alex and apparently he was buried head to toe with work in his office. John did suggest that he come by to Lava Java, but it was super full and Alex's usual spot was taken by some couple.

Alex said he needed concentration for whatever he was doing and that they'd see each other soon. John felt a pang of hurt when Alex told him that, it felt like he may have messed up by not taking up the offer to spend Christmas with him and Lafayette.

Was he supposed to? John didn't know if that was in his sugar baby agreement or not. Not that there was one but he wasn't sure if he had a wrong move there.

On Christmas eve which was the last day he was working until the day after boxing day. They were allowed to finish at lunch hour so him and Hercules went out for a drink together. Just a bar and grabbed a burger together at a near by place. Then another few beers before bidding each other 'Merry Christmas' and a bro-to-bro hug before parting separate ways.

John didn't know what to do really. He'd never spent Christmas by himself before, he did have offers from the Schuyler sisters asking him to spend it at their house but again John didn't want to impose and truthfully, he wanted to be with Alex for Christmas.

As pathetic and sad as John thought it was, he went to a department store which had a movie theatre inside. He had nothing better to do, class projects were completed, no work so he was free and that's when he remembered. He had money.

Lots of it.

He took out the card Alex had gifted him and swatted it on the contactless machine before he was handed his movie ticket. Well, John went crazy and thought 'what the hell' when he ordered a jumbo cherry slushy, popcorn, a massive hotdog and nachos. It was Christmas, he may as well pig out and what better way to do it than the movies. It did feel a bit lonesome but John didn't care once the film started and he could just bury himself with treats. All gifted from his daddy.

He could feel his phone vibrate during the movie and ignored it until the movie was finished. Once getting out the theatre, he opens it up and sees it was from Alex.

 

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

Sorry I haven't stopped by to see you baby boi, been so so busy :( daddy had to work lots

John had already figured.

**From: You, To: Daddy:**

It's okay. I just got out a movie. What're you doing?

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

Oooooh rly? You watching movies without me :'( well Laf demanded we go to the Rockefeller Center for ice skating and i fell on my ass too many times so we've gone for food!

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

you wanna come join us?

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

Laf said hi btw and oh add his number *********** too pls honey

John highlighted Lafayette's number and made him a new contact. He never knew, he may just need that number at some point.

**From: You, To: Daddy:**

Added it. Sure okay, I'm free. Where at?"

 

So John went to meet them within the city just near the Disney store shop. He was the first one there and since he was right outside the store, he decided to have a look inside. With it being Christmas the store was packed, little kids screaming in pushchairs, Beauty and the beast was playing loudly and teenagers all pawing at the fancy new Disney mugs. There were tons of adults in there too though. But it was the baubles that caught John's eye.

They always had really gorgeous designs, he liked the figurine ones the best. Stitch was his favourite, John thought he was so cute and loved it more how his younger sister Mary could do the impression of him.

He's fingering the ornament before picking it up giving it a twirl. Then John remembered he didn't even have a tree up in his dorm but still it was nice just for keeps. Just then he almost drops it and it isn't even one of the people hurrying past him that shake him up. He feels someone tug the back of his ponytail and John is about to tell whoever it was to lay off. Although it could be one of the little girls in the store, John always had kids wanting to braid his hair and Mary was the biggest nuisance. She was always trying to get John to try out her new hair clips and pink glittery shit.

Turning John is met face to face with Alex. He breaks out into such a happy grin, just seeing Alex always made his day. Then he's pulled into a short but sweet kiss. Two little girls saw them and ran off giggling. John stands there cheeks all peachy and his enamoured hazel eyes glittered.

"Thought I'd surprise you honey!" Alex cries. "We knew you'd be in here"

John chuckles and that's when he noticed Lafayette wasn't there. "Where's Laf?"

Alex looks over his shoulder and gestures his head in the direction of the mugs. "He's by the mug section, it's ridiculous because we have a cupboard full at home which barely get used." He ends with a sigh. Then as if on cue Lafayette is pushing through a hoarding of children, parents looking at him with frowns and he's bouncing towards Alex and John with these Christmas Disney princess mugs. A gorgeous pair of Ariel and Cinderella ones.

"Alexander, John look at these ones!" Lafayette cries gleefully. He's showing them, John isn't really that into Disney princesses but he does appreciate the artwork for the most part. They were pretty.

"Put them back" Alex says sharply. Lafayette slumps his shoulders like a child almost and John has to bite his lip to stop him from laughing.

He shakes his head at Alex, "Mon cher, these are limited edition! Look at the designs, I already have the other ones." Then he ushered them over to John, Alex was looking at his husband like he wanted to kill him. "What do you think Mon ami?"

"Laf-" John cuts over Alex.

"I think they're pretty cool actually," He glances to Alex who looks betrayed. Then John turns to Lafayette again. "I'm not that into the princesses but my sisters would love them. Still I think if you want them..."

"No!" Alex butts in. "He doesn't need them! Laf, babe, you've got tons of them already, with fuckin' Rapun-whats-her-face and the one with the ice powers!" Alex runs a hand over his face. Lafayette rolls his eyes at him.

"It's Rapunzel" John slips in, Alex gives him such a sharp look. "And Elsa". He cheekily interjects.

Alex's eye twitched.

"I have sisters!" John has the nerve to laugh at him. "Oh give it up man, if he wants them then let him."

Lafayette smirks smugly at Alex, all high and mighty. "See, John agrees with me Alexander. He has taste." He says.

"And you, have a hoarding addiction." Alex finishes smoothly. Lafayette swats him on the shoulder then he sees what John is holding still.

"Oh, Mon ami, what is that?!"

Alex darts his eyes to what John has and he holds it up for them both to see. Both of them go 'aw!' at the Stitch ornament hugging scrump with his little half-eaten santa hat on.

"It's Stitch!" John says and dangles it, giving it a little twirl.

Lafayette takes it off of him. "I have not seen this movie..." John looks at him in disbelief.

"How?" He says shocked. Alex balls his eyes.

"Because, honey, he's mostly into the fairytale ones. Laf even cried at one of them, I can't remember the name, it's that new one!" Alex points towards the Moana ornament.

John instantly goes, "Oh, you mean Moana?"

"That's it!" Alex cries, clicking his fingers rapidly. "Yeah, it's got that dude in it from this American musical, It came out like three years ago. But he just has this _really_ annoying distinct voice."

Then Lafayette gives Alex a nudge with his hips. "He sounds a little bit yourself, Mon cher. Anyway... I will pay for these!"

"Wait Lafayette I can pay!" John protests but Lafayette ignores him and he's gone to join the long, long ass line of people.

Alex shakes his head at his husband and Lafayette just shuns him, Alex doesn't fail to see his smirk either. So John and Alex go to look at the plushies together, it turned out Alex had a big soft spot for them. He really loved Simba and John found himself the Stitch one. It got a bit out of hand between them when from what started as a joke play war to Alex being shoved into the mass of Disney plushies by John.

Alex lay in them laughing until his stomach hurt, a mother and her child were just stood there in awe as he was getting up. John was left bright red and hiding behind a display of dvds. Alex still chuckling went over to him.

"Honey, you're so naughty!" Alex says with a goofy grin.

John scoffs at him. "I swear to god Alex... you can't just do _that_ in here!"

Alex squeezes John's arm and buries his face into it still croaking with childish laughter. John lightly slaps his shoulder. "You'll get us kicked out!"

"Baby boy, no one saw." Alex says cheekily. That was a total lie. "Besides... I'm educating the kids! They're finding out how baby lions get made!"

Lafayette has already found them, he's got his Disney bag of good and a puzzled look etched on his face. "What is going on?" He says, looking at Alex suspiciously.

Before Alex could run his mouth, John cuts in fast, "Alex was making Simba openly _hump_ Stitch" Lafayette gives Alex an unimpressed look but he is grinning himself. "Right in front of _three_ little kids" John says accusingly.

"Mon Cher..." Lafayette grumbles.

Alex snorts.

"Alexander, I cannot take you anywhere".

Then Alex starts up with the giggles again and John ends up getting them himself. Lafayette suggests they both leave since some of the staff were staring at them a bit strangely. As they were walking out, Alex rests his chin on John's shoulder, although Alex is terrible his giggles are honestly adorable John thinks.

"You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals. So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!" Alex chants playfully. John's eyes are wide and his jaw drops. Even Lafayette hears but he's already gave up telling Alex off and it doesn't help he can't control his own laughter.

"You're both bad" John states flatly.

He's convinced the Disney staff are glad once they've left the store.

 

* * *

 

New York really was magical at Christmas and John was glad he stayed to see it. Christmas Eve was hectic but it was worth the crowds, the shuffling in shops and long lines. They spent hours in and out of shops, buying fluffy whipped-cream hot chocolate or well, a black coffee for Alex. They visited the Rockefeller big Christmas tree together and even hopped on The Ride just for some good holiday fun.

It was evening now and they'd had such a busy day together. As they were walking down the street, John could feel his phone vibrate, he opened it and saw a message from Martha. He opened it up, John and Lafayette were busy taking and he it was actually a video message. John's eyes glistened a little, he didn't want to cry but he did miss them and it was the first Christmas he had spent alone. There they all were, his father was in the background of the kitchen not paying the camera any attention - typical.

But all siblings were gathered there on the sofa, curled in their cheesy Christmas sweaters and Pyjamas shouting "We love you John!" and a "Merry Christmas big bro!" off of Henry and topped with a good ol' salute of his middle finger, followed by a slap around the head by Martha. John snickered at the video, they were crazy but his crazies.

Lafayette caught sight of the video over John's shoulder and Alex tuned in to see too. They both found the short video funny and sweet. John was glad he got to share personal details like this with them, he felt closer to them and more comfortable. John initially thought he would be left out when he first met Lafayette, but they probably put more attention on him than each other.

They've stopped in a little cosy cafe for a quick bite to eat. As usual it was jam-packed with people, Christmas decorations all over the place around its vintage decor. Lafayette chose the place because of its Parisian touch. John had to admit it was really pretty, Alex just didn't care and wanted one of the Christmas sausage and stuffing painis.

Once they've made their orders and seated, Alex excuses himself for the bathroom. A quick gentle squeeze on John's shoulder and he was darting off, shuffling between the seats of people. That left just John and Lafayette alone.

It still felt kind of weird with it just being him and Lafayette alone. John was still adjusting to the husband, to Lafayette's accent and bizarreness. He was a nice man though, gentle and very warm John thought. John wouldn't deny that he would still prefer it if Alex was a single man but Lafayette was nice to get to know, John was actually enjoying his company.

"So Mon ami, do you have any plans for Christmas day tomorrow?" Lafayette asks.

John got the hint. They still wanted him to join them and he still wasn't sure if it would be right. But time was running out and he needed to give them an answer rather than beat around the bush. John looked to the counter rather than Lafayette, he felt unsure.

"I'm... I might still be spending it with Peggy and her family" He lies. Lafayette's piercing gaze doesn't budge and he doesn't look convinced at all.

He leans back in his chair and crosses his bulky arms. It doesn't help that Lafayette is seating facing him too. There was another horrid slot of silence, people's laughter, cups clattering and Christmas tunes blaring inbetween. It didn't last long though, "Why do you lie?"

That has John turning his attention back to him. He sees Lafayette's ghost of a smile there on his lips. Lafayette knew all along.

"I'm not" The waver in John's voice is what gives him away probably, he doesn't know but he can't get anything past this man.

One of the waitresses is over to them with their hot drinks. She places Alex's coffee down next to John, a latte for John and Lafayette's strange flavoured green tea, John can't remember what the hell he ordered. They thank her and Lafayette is leaning to grab the little tea pot, John watches the hot water flush into the floral decorated tea cup intently. He's still irritated that he's been caught out.

"Be truthful, why is it you do not want to spend Christmas with us?" Lafayette asks him softly. He's dunking the tea bag in and out until the hot water slowly turns to green. John pulls a face at it.

John can't even give him a proper answer. He wants to but doesn't all at the same time.

"Are you worried?" Lafayette asks again, his gorgeous brown eyes still placed on his tea.

"Why would I be worried?" John asks back, it sounds a little snarky and he worries he comes across as rude. Lafayette smirks.

"Perhaps, because I would be around? You and Alexander engage in a fair few... 'activities' I assume." John's face is a picture, he hates how he goes bright red really easily and Lafayette glances back up at him. _"Ça va... Je sais déjà que vous êtes tous les deux sexuellement engages"_

"Huh?" says John.

Lafayette laughs quietly to himself. John has no idea what he's just said but the mischievousness in Lafayette's eyes gives John the impression, Lafayette's more than just the soft touch he has only shown himself to be so far.

"You should not worry little John. Me and Alexander do not mind, so please come along to our home. An extra addition is always more fun." Everything Lafayette said so far sounded so flirty. John batted his lashes at him, he has to take his latte and just have a quick drink. Anything to take his mind off Lafayette. Once he's had a good drink of it, placing it down, John doesn't realise he's got the foam on his upper lip.

Of course Lafayette notices and he's chuckling at John. "What is it?"

Lafayette has this habit to just directly touch John without asking. John takes it that he's just a naturally touchy person, he remembered earlier when they were in Zara and Lafayette was handsy with one of the female shop assistant's hair. Telling her how 'lovely' it was and how she should not get it cut. Alex and Lafayette really were such a pair.

So by now it felt like second nature when Lafayette swipes at the foam of his upper lip. "Oh..." John slips out. He rubs at his mouth before grabbing a napkin to properly clean it up.

"You are a funny one John Laurens" Lafayette says grinning as he's about to take a mouthful of his tea. He's watching him again.

The spare seat next to them is filled with a panting Alex and as he shuffles in, rapturing a loud squeak which has both Lafayette and John wincing. He goes, "Fuckin' toilet is all the way down in the basement! I mean it's 2018, why can't they just have it on the top floor like normal places do?"

Lafayette gives him a slap on the knee under the table. "Alexander, please keep your voice down. Me and John Laurens were having a lovely conservation before you came back shouting". Alex grins and pulls his tongue at his husband, watching the pair could sometimes be like watching a parent and child. John found their marriage fascinating at times.

"Ah yes, coffee." and Alex is downing half the cup.

John chuckles at him. "Best go easy on it Alex, we can't have you running back up here in such a state again".

Alex glares at John and pokes him in his side, John flinches, squeaking from it.

"It is his own fault Mon ami, I tell Alexander to come to the gym with me many times. He does not want to and he wonders why he is in such an unfit state". Lafayette jabs. Alex turns to his husband with his mouth open, laughing.

"You do Alexander, I invite you always. You never want to exercise" Lafayette all but sighs. He looks to John.

Then there is this evil smile on Alex's face. "Well recently, babe, I have been getting a bit more exercise than the usual" and Alex's hand is on John's thigh. John slaps it underneath the table, Alex's hand captures his and they're holding hands. John has to bite away his smile.

"That is not the point Alexander..." Lafayette says, shaking his head, clearly knowing what they're doing. Then Lafayette says something in French, John cocks his head and he's squinting his eyes in confusion. But he's even more surprised when Alex answers Lafayette back in French. His jaw actually drops.

"Since when did _you_ speak French?" John gasps.

Alex gives him a squeeze as he's giggling. "I never told you?"

"No!" John cries. Well, this is new.

Lafayette is there looking somewhat smug that his husband and him can communicate without John knowing a thing. "Ah yes, Alexander can speak both French and Spanish".

John looks back to Alex with wide eyes. "The hell?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Alex sighs. "I grew up in St. Kitts and learnt them both as a kid. I'm fluent honey".

John can only manage a "wow" and he goes back to his latte. John's gutted, sure his mother was Puerto Rican but he nor his siblings ever learnt any Spanish from her.

"Aw" Alex hums, he moves a little closer to John. "Baby boy, you a little surprised?" John didn't have to look over at Lafayette to see he was watching their sugaring affairs with a shit-eating grin. John nods.

Then Lafayette perks up and plants his elbows on their small table, he's resting his face in his hands. "Ah, yes, Mon cher while you were away me and John here were having a discussion about tomorrow. It is Christmas day and I asked him once more, if he would like to join."

"Oh yeah, that's right. So are you gonna?" Alex turns to John once more.

John didn't like all the pressure and he's fumbling with the cup handle of his latte, picking at some of the skin of his thumb as he does. Lafayette is nudging Alex under the table with his foot as if to say something. "You don't have to if you don't want to." Alex goes to play with John's curls there in his high pony tail.

"It's not that I don't want to," John begins quietly, Alex and Lafayette listen both waiting. "I want to, I do but I just feel like I might be intruding. I don't want to get in the way." He says with a sigh. "That's the gods honest truth too." Then John shoots his gaze to Lafayette, he looked satisfied with the final answer and the truth.

Lafayette makes an 'aw' at him and Alex rolls his eyes smiling. "Jesus John, if we didn't want you around we wouldn't have asked and we do. I figured you weren't going back home to Charleston, so hey, why not spent it with us? I mean, I know you said you got invited by-"

"I lied" John confessed. Alex makes a face. Lafayette watches.

John moves a curl out of his face, although he likes them hanging down to hide away, he feels it's better to be more exposed now. Especially since coming clean. "I didn't want to be annoying, that's all".

Alex and Lafayette can only laugh. John was precious. "Mon ami, Alexander falls asleep halfway through Christmas day every year and I am usually left alone. It would be an enjoyment to have someone else around". Alex scowls at his husband.

"No I don't!" Alex exclaimed.

Lafayette puts a hand up to Alex, "Mon cher, you fall asleep on the sofa. I am bored by myself"

"Only because you put a fuck ton of food out!" Alex spins back round to John. "Honey, he fucking piles your plate higher than the mother-fucking empire state building! And he wonders why I'm out like a light on Christmas day."

John feels himself fill up again with joy and all that guilt for lying is out the window. He's grinning himself. "I bet he snores real loudly, huh Laf?" John giggles. Alex and Lafayette both look relieved that he's cheered up. Lafayette nods away, balling his eyes and drinks a sip of his tea.

"You've no idea, Mon ami," Lafayette exasperates. "I should be rewarded for putting up with it this long".

Alex nudges his husband. John sees how Alex leans closer on the table, his big brown eyes shining at Lafayette and he's smirking. "But I know you love the shit out of me babe".

Lafayette says nothing, a small smile behind his cup. As he places it down Alex gives it a deathly look and pulls a disgusted face. "And I know another thing too, you sure as hell are not serving that tomorrow".

John is the one now swatting Alex. "What? It looks like Shrek's piss!" Well they all just fell out laughing.

Their food comes and they're all digging in up together. After more chatter and light banter, John finally agrees to take up their offer. Lafayette demands they head to the grocery store just to grab a few more things for Christmas day. Alex said that they had more than enough food, but Lafayette insists that John needed to be fed to the brim, it was a Christmas he'd never forget.

After grabbing an uber to their penthouse. John is in pure awe every time he visits their home, it's like a palace and he feels like a celebrity. He's over the moon at their big tree, it gives him so many nostalgic memories of when him, siblings followed by his mother and father would go cut one down. They'd decorate it together. Alex and Lafayette had already done the decorating, John had popped on his little Stitch bauble Lafayette had bought him. They admired it together, Alex pinching his cheeks whilst calling both Lafayette and John children.

Then there was dinner. John got fed alright, Lafayette loved to cook he found and there was just too much. Everything was delicious and cooked to perfection. He got told by Lafayette that it was his beloved grandmother who taught him. He even let John help him, John learnt a few new tricks and blushed when Lafayette stood behind him to show him how to do something properly. He towered right over him, John felt so small, meek but mostly protected. Alex had seen them and he's sat on the counter giving John a cheeky wink.

They get cosy and John is offered one of Alex's spare t-shirts, but Lafayette ends up dressing John in spare Christmas pjs because apparently they all needed to be in the Christmas spirit for the big day. After a bath, John ended up bathing himself while Alex was with Lafayette doing whatever he was doing. It felt nice just to have a few minutes of privacy if he were honest. He got into his Christmas pyjamas, a little baggy since they were Alex's and Alex had more of a stockier built than John's slight one.

He found both the couple lazily sprawled on the sofa. Alex had his laptop open just watching Youtube videos and Lafayette was scoffing a mince pie while Home Alone was on. John almost forgot, Alex hated Home Alone.

But it was nice and he joined them, Alex patted his lap and John happily sank into it. Lafayette didn't even care about their soppy affectionate kissing, then asked if John liked his bath and if he wanted anything else to eat despite the coffee table being littered with piles of treats. Pringles, boxes of luxury chocolates, minced pies, chocolate pretzels. Everything. 

John spots a Sam Adams was there on the table waiting, already popped open too and John leans to grab a bottle before giving them all a cheer. Lafayette with his green tea and Alex with his red wine.

John feels warm, he's happy and excited.

Perhaps Christmas wouldn't be so bad this year at all he thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ça va... Je sais déjà que vous êtes tous les deux sexuellement engages * = It's fine... I already know that you are both sexually involved "
> 
>  
> 
> Omg so I loved writing this chapter! It's so long but I'm so happy Laf is introduced to the story now yay! He's a bit more relaxed and chilled than Alex though. But doesn't mean to say he's not got a mischievous side himself ;) 
> 
> Oh and minced pies are so yummy! I don't think they've got them in America but here in England they're a national Christmas treat. They're these mini pies with a sugar coating on top, sometimes with a little power dusting and with a design on top like a holly or a heart. They've got dried fruit in a sweet paste inside! They're so, so delicious. Jesus Christ I eat a tray of them all to myself at Christmas and they're super cheap! 
> 
> But yeah :) Thank you so much for the love on the last chapter, it means a lot and my fingers really hurt... gah. Its worth it! The boys are happy and are gonna enjoy Christmas. :p 
> 
> Its all fun and games... for now.


	7. CHRISTMAS IN NEW YORK

The very next day John wakes up and through blurred vision it takes him a second or two to take in the sight of a sleeping Alexander facing him.

His snoring isn't as bad but it's still loud. That's when John also realises he's in the big bed, the bedroom of Alex and Lafayette. John shuffles, careful not to wake Alex and sees that he's on the end. Lafayette is on his side of the bed where Alex had slept last time John slept over and that left Alex in the centre of them.

John sees how Alex practically takes up half the bed too. John figures the way he sleeps really does match up to his personality. Lafayette was on his end, arm over his face snoozing silently. John spent a minute taking in Lafayette's mass of unruly coiled curls sprawled out on the pillow. A part of John wanted to touch them but obviously he wouldn't, unless Lafayette allowed him despite Lafayette being such a touchy person and practically braided John's hair the night before without even John saying it was okay. John still felt rather guarded around Lafayette and wasn't sure.

Alex was budged right up to him, a gap between him and Lafayette. Although him and Alex did have a good snuggle before they drifted off to sleep, John looked at the gap between them and hoped he wouldn't get too in the way of their relationship. He really hoped it was okay.

But John snapped out of his little moment of worry and then he remembered it was Christmas. "It's Christmas!" He whispers to himself gleefully. He's excited inside and he doesn't even know why because it isn't as if he's at home or has presents waiting. Then he's sat there trying to remember where his phone was, John looks to the nightstand and Alex must have put his phone there, since he didn't remember doing that and his watch was there too. Oh.

Grabbing his phone, John pops in the code and is greeted by piles of messages from his siblings, mostly Martha, too many Christmas gifs from Jimmy, a video from Mary's Christmas play and messages from the Schuyler sister. Plus one from Hercules.

John's smile grows as he flickers through them and he feels blessed to have all these people in his life. Even if they weren't all together or far away, he was still thought of which was nice.

Then the vivid image of his mother swirled its way into his mind. John's smile softens at her memory, his dear mother. The last Christmas with her, John remembered she was heavily pregnant at the time, it was also when she gifted him his green scarf on Christmas Eve. That had been the booby prize and he'd been so annoyed that it wasn't a game or new art set like he'd asked for. John didn't treasure the scarf back then but once she passed away, John wore it every winter.

"Merry Christmas, mom" He murmured.

It'd be so long ago since ringing in the season with her.

Just then Alex squirmed next to him and John shifts to look down at him. He's slowly blinking, shuffling on his back and John hovers over him. Lafayette is still fast asleep. With John in his view, Alex is still gathering his whereabouts and he slowly breaks out into a smile. John smiles right back.

"Why hello there" Alex says groggily, it's still enough to pull John's heart strings. Alex is always super sexy when he's bedridden. Messy dark brown locks wisp out his pony-tail.

John's smile widens and he moves over Alex a bit more so he's planting his arms over him. John's dark curls tickle Alex's face and Alex takes a strand of them, twisting and locking it around his finger.

He loves John's hair, he was always touching and playing with it. "Merry Christmas, daddy" John whispers and Alex looks lovestruck. John gives a quick glance to Lafayette, he's still sleeping on his side and with that John turns back to Alex. He crashes their lips together, Alex is still trying to wake up but he does his best to kiss John back. Their kiss was was sloppy, lazy but overall fulfilling as they're both smiling into it.

They're getting carried away, it's hot and heated in the bed especially when John could feel himself go hard as nails. Alex must have felt it too against his own thickened groin and he looks up at John with a look of utter mischievousness.

So John pushes it and ruts against him, Alex slowly follows his league and John starts up again. The dry-humping is making him go out of his mind, he leans down to kiss Alex again, tongues swimming around each others mouths.

The morning breath wasn't really the issue here, it was Alex's hand slipping into the front of the pyjama pants and he's taking John's cock. John gives an 'mph!' into Alex's mouth, obviously loving his cock being teased and taunted by Alex's thumb swirling on the tip. John breaks their kiss for a moment, Lafayette is adjusting himself but he goes back to snoring lightly on his side. John is so glad he's got his back to them.

Alex has John's cheeks in his hands and he's bringing his face back down to his. "Say yes to heaven baby..." He murmurs against his mouth, so John does and he's got his fingers threading in Alex's hair. He can't get enough of this man.

With Alex's hand back on his throbbing cock, John continues to rut his hips and Alex lets out a bit of a breathy groan. John immediately stops, he clamps his hand over Alex's mouth and he's looking back to Lafayette just to see if he's stirred. He hasn't.

Alex seemed to be enjoying John's paranoia. He's chewing his bottom lip and John feels Alex's hands dip onto his ass from under the fabric of the pyjamas. Nails grit into his cheeks and John mewls into the crook of Alex's neck. "Alex!" He mutters into Alex's ear.

He laughs gently at John before saying, "Laf is a deep sleeper, don't worry honey," Alex then adds. "This is hot as hell though... got you in my bed, right next to my husband. It really must be Christmas!" John doesn't hesitate to nip Alex's neck. He makes and 'ouch' and gives John a small slap on his backside. It isn't too sound, not as bad as their spanking session either but enough for John to wince. Alex looks satisfied and he goes back to John's hard cock.

"Seriously honey, let yourself loose. He won't hear us." Alex whispers, he's pecking John's lips while John's face is a mixture of joy and worry. "Moan for me, sweetie, daddy wants to hear you".

So John took out Alex's weeping dick and started to toggle with it, pumping it and as he did, Alex continued to rock up underneath him. They both began to move in tandem. Hands on each other's cocks, jerking each other at a fast pace.

After a few moments of this, John gave such a shattered moan, he shut his mouth and eyes darted back to Lafayette on the end. "Don't fight it, baby boy, keep goin'. You're amazing, so amazing. Give daddy what he wants".

He hadn't moved. Glad, John left Alex in full reign as he skilfully both thrust and stroked.

"Daddy..." John's voice is so tiny. He's worried Lafayette will hear them. But the desire is too much, he can't stop thrusting Alex's cock and Alex is doing a number on his own. Alex's eyes roll shamelessly to the back of his head and he closes his eyes for a brief minute, taking in the feeling. John's biting his lips before Alex changes the pattern of thrusting on his cock and he's doing it another way, a _better_ way.

Oh god. Oh god. John literally drops back down on Alex and he's moaning into his neck. "Ah- Oh daddy, daddy, daddy" he chants, like a kitten mewling for milk.

"Cum for me, baby boy you're so good, goddamn-" Alex says choked up.

Feeling himself begin his ascent, John came with a low growl that boiled up from his chest into his throat just as his milky seed did from his erupting cock. Alex came soon after, a white butterflied mess between them. loosed a surprising amount of cum over all the sheets and his low belly.

John's eyes are glazed, he's actually drooled too and Alex looks to the little wet patch on his shoulder. "Sorry" John says shyly, he licks it off instead. At least he can try make it look sexy if anything else. Alex smirks up at him, he then drops his gaze down to the mess under the sheets. Christmas pyjama pants soiled.

"Shit it's all over us" John muttered. Alex grossly wipes the mingled cum in his hand on the side of John's pants where he hisses. "Alex! Ew!"

Alex chuckles there under him and he's brought back down for another kiss. It's passionate and when they pull away there is a longing look in each others eyes. John's cheeks warm up and he's certain Alex's have too. "Merry Christmas to you too, baby boy" He says softly.

John leans down to hug Alex a proper hug this time, his hands trailing up and down Alex's soft sides. He can feel Alex do the same to his, although he does get a bit playful and pinch his ass.

From what starts off as a loving hug turns into a wrestling war as they're shuffling around there. In the end it must have woken Lafayette because he's stirring, mumbling something and he's slowly shifting to his back.

"Alex...ander..." Lafayette mumbles sleepily. He's barely even got his eyes open, the hand over his face blocking out any day light and Lafayette yawns, "What is time" John notices Lafayette's English hasn't come to him just yet and Lafayette loudly clears his throat, then says, "Pardon, what is the time?"

John reaches for his phone on the stand since he's on the end. Alex's grip around him tightens and he's craning his own head to have a good look at the time over John's shoulder.

"It's 7.30" Alex tells his husband. "Merry Christmas!"

He can feel Alex loosen off of him and as John places his phone back on the stand, he also catches Alex leaning over to Lafayette, giving him a quick kiss on the lips too. John looked away quickly, his stomach tying in knots. So this was it, this was how this was going to work between them. As odd as it still was to him, John knew he was just going to have to get used to it if he wanted to be with Alex.

"Your morning breath, Mon cher." Lafayette's face twists and he's moving his head away from Alex. But Alex being Alex kisses him again, Lafayette is smiling but he isn't impressed and swats Alex's chest. "Arrêtez!" He scolds.

Alex gives Lafayette's curls a little tousle before he shifts back to John. "You're no fun babe, John doesn't mind it, do you honey?" Alex says as he turns to John. After their pre-heated make out session followed by hand-jobs, John was still basking from it all. He felt pretty damn good.

"I am sure after the _antics_ of you both, moving around there-" Lafayette mentions. John's inside freeze, so Lafayette did know. "That he does not mind at all". He finishes, this time Lafayette is sitting himself up and he's darting for the drawer of his stand.

John's face paled and he feels slightly bad that they may have woken Lafayette. Alex is gives his cock another little tug under the sheets, John holds in his moan and shoots Alex a frustrated look, his eyes screaming for Alex to back off. But Alex only bites his lip as he grins, clearly loving getting John worked up.

Lafayette pulls out a packet of cigarettes and Alex scowls when he sees them. "Tell me why you still buy those?" He sighs. Lafayette already has one in the corner of his mouth, he's grabbing his Santa themed night gown from he back of their bathroom door and already slipping into it. John didn't know Lafayette smoked, he couldn't really smell it around the house or on him.

As Lafayette ties the night gown's belt into good nifty knot around his waist, he simply grins at them both. "I am French, non?" He stifles a chuckle at Alex's unimpressed expression before grabbing out his glittery lighter to light up. "Right I will go have this cigarette, mes chéris and I will put on the meat for Christmas dinner."

That's when Alex just has to blurt out, "Hey! I already did the meat this morning! Isn't that right honey?"

With that John went bright red in the face, his freckles prominent as ever and it wasn't from the thermostat either. Alex laughs into John's back there as he's squeezing him in his embrace.

Lafayette stands there as he's lighting his cigarette in his mouth smiling. He's shaking his head at his husband.

"Alex!" John cries.

Lafayette and John's eyes lock for a second, John sees the way he looks at him. It isn't envy or annoyance but the way he looked at him, told John that perhaps he really did get off on it. Maybe he had heard John moaning beside him and pretended to be asleep instead. John flickered his gaze away, still red and embarrassed, he hides his face in the pillow wanting to die.

"Just make sure you change the sheets, Mon cher." Lafayette says, a little too playfully as he begins to loop his hair into a puff of curls, with a hair tie from the stand. Alex is giggling into the crook of John's neck and chanting 'oh I will' and John watches Lafayette begin to slide out the room. "I will be on the balcony."

With Lafayette out the room that left John and Alex there alone in bed. Immediately John turns round to him and growls, "Why would you tell him that?!"

Alex leans to nip at his jaw where he is lightly pecking kisses from there, John shudders from his touch as always he's weak when Alex touches him, kisses him, adores him like this and Alex makes his way to his ear. He moves a curled strand out of the way and whispers, "You gotta admit, it was hot as fuck."

John fell silent. He didn't know what to really say, John had seen the way Lafayette looked at him before when their eyes met. It made him wonder.

"And-" Alex says again, hot breath tickling his ear. "I think Laf was pretty into it too..." and Alex dips his tongue into his ear which makes John just squeal, he's pushing Alex away and rubbing out the salvia from inside his ear. Alex is sat up down, clutching his belly laughing.

"You're so... ugh! God Alex, that was gross!" John whines, he's still rubbing it out. "I haven't had a wet willy since I was... fucking eight!"

John sits up right in the bed, he's still shuddering from what Alex had just done to him and he's grabbing his phone. He's got to go take a leak or get away from Alex before he does anything else to him. Alex is clingy telling him not to leave and locks his arms around John's waist to prevent him from leaving. John eventually paws him off and makes a break from Alex's teasing.

 

* * *

 

After a good five minutes of peace to himself John has already fixed up his hair, it's still down for the time being. But he can't really be bothered putting it up, it was still early and on Christmas day John never really got dressed anyway. He brushed his teeth with the spare toothbrush Alex gave him and he's freshen up. Alex gives him a spare pair of sweat pants since the pyjamas were full of stains.

Alex is already changed when John finds him, the bed is changed with fresh sheets and they go off out the bedroom to start their Christmas day.

Lafayette had dinner prepared the night before, everything was peeled, chopped and simmering nice on the stove. Alex told John that he was in charge of the kitchen and often just stayed out of Lafayette's way since Alex usually got in the way. Lafayette did not mind when John asked if he could help, he wanted to be useful if he was staying for the day rather than sit around like Alex was.

But John noticed from over the counter, Alex was again on his laptop and John assumed he was working. Even working on Christmas day, Lafayette told him quietly that Alex never stopped. He was a work-o-colic and never really took breaks. John helped Lafayette out with some extra peeling for the carrots and they made small talk. Lafayette told John a bit more about himself and what he did for a living.

Lafayette was a business man and own countless properties, John was amazed even more when Lafayette hinted the company that he owned. It was a big one, a famous one. He didn't tell John and John understood why. Confidentiality and all that. He told John he was so glad for Christmas and loved it because of the break away from work. He and Alex both worked long hours, travelled too much and actually had hectic lifestyles, so any time together was a blessing.

Which is partly why John was hesitant of spending Christmas with them incase he got in the way of their time together. It also made John wonder as well one other important thing about them both and once they were all sat down, mugs of hot chocolate, well a black coffee for Alex and some snacks because breakfast time at Christmas was just treats.

Alex was texting and chatting with Lafayette at the same time. Apparently someone Alex worked withs wife had given birth the night before on Christmas Eve.  Both Lafayette and Alex were cooing together over a picture. 

And that was the question slipped out of John's mouth, "Do you guys have any kids?"

Alex nearly spat out his coffee all over his laptop and Lafayette has gone back to sit down in his spot, he glances to Alex. John felt a bit bad for asking, but he really did want to know. They were old enough to be parents. "I'm sorry, It's something I thought about and well I just had to ask. You're both well in your late 30s after all..." He mumbles, looking a tad sheepish.

Lafayette places his hand to John's knee and gives it a pat. The spot where his had was leaves John feeling hot, tingly even.

"No, we do not have children. Well we almost-" Lafayette says, voice softening and he's looking back to the TV where 'The National Lampoons Christmas Holiday' was playing. John's heart sped up and he's looking to Alex for answers. Alex waves him off.

"Laf" Alex hisses. He's giving Lafayette daggers from over his laptop.

Lafayette rolls his eyes at his husband. "Mon cher, if John is going to be a part of your life, he may as well know. It does not bother me." John can feel his stomach bubble and it wasn't the good kind. He turns back to Lafayette who glances down at John. "I was having a relationship with another woman, we are a lot younger and she fell pregnant".

John had a feeling this wasn't going to be a happy story. Lafayette proceeds to tell it anyway, his small smile still there and his voice grew slightly heavier. "And well, I believe Mon ami, that mother nature and fate are two different things. Sometimes they do meet, bad things happen." Lafayette finishes sullenly.

The sound of Alex's laptop shutting causes them both to look over and Alex abruptly stands up. He tells them he just needs the bathroom and leaves the room. John feels beyond bad for asking. "Lafayette, I shouldn't have asked. Oh, god, shit, I'm really sorry." John can feel his throat tighten, he knew he shouldn't have trod on fragile territory like that. Lafayette clasps his knee again and squeezes it. It's comforting but John's worried for Lafayette's feelings.

"Nonsense, Mon ami, you asked a simple question and so I told you the truth." He says, he pats John's knee again and lets go this time. John's hands curl in balls and the guilt doesn't stop. "But no, Alexander has no children, he is too busy for a child. I myself have no time for children. We have a happy marriage, that is enough for us."

Lafayette definitely wasn't the type to beat around the bush. He answered anything John asked, truthfully, too truthfully. John felt touched that Lafayette had decided to share something so personal with him. It felt forbidden, but he'd shared it anyway.

Also John felt a tinge of sadness over his story too, John remembered his father tell him that before he was born, his mother had suffered a miscarriage too. John only hoped if there was some kind of after life, they'd be reunited at least. It gave him a sense of peace.

Lafayette suggested they have a go at playing some x-box while dinner cooked and John was over the moon that Lafayette liked games too. They had spent an hour on Fortnight. John was surprised Lafayette had an account and everything on it. They exchanged usernames and popped them into their phones, so in the future they could play together when John wasn't there. Alex had long came back in a better mood and he eventually ripped himself away from his laptop. He tried to have a go at the game but just could not figure it out.

John told Lafayette to pass over the headphones and mic to Alex. They rolled around the sofa laughing, when Alex fucked out some poor kid from Australia for playing a rotten trick on him. He all but raged into the mic. "I hope a kangaroo hits you in the fuckin' nuts! Go on and-"

"Alexander it is Christmas!" Lafayette scolds.

Then John tunes in, laughing, "Yeah, Alex! Where's your Christmas spirit?"

Lafayette looks back to John with a naughty spark in his eye. Alex is sat between them looking defeated. "Indeed, Mon ami! It is the time to be joyful!"

"Screw being joyful! That little fucker had me on!" Alex barks.

That was when John had to take the headphones off Alex and stop him from yelling anymore obscenities to whoever it was down under. Lafayette switched to another game since Fortnight really wasn't Alex's cup of tea. John joked that he should have filmed the moment for Youtube. Alex playfully nips John's neck and tells him 'not to make daddy mad again'. As he laughed John giggled a promise although it didn't sound sincere in the least.

After more movies and games it wasn't too long until it was time for dinner. Dinner was amazing, it brought back the memories of home although John had never tried any of the French dishes Lafayette added on the side. They were still good. Alex didn't lie when he said Lafayette filled your plate up, it was like a small mountain. John's eyes were bigger than his belly when he stocked up on extra potatoes, pigs in blankets, stuffing. Oh god it was good.

He thanked Lafayette as they were tucking in, John was on one side of the table and Alex sat beside his husband. Alex in front of him, who kept playing footsie with John underneath it. Kind of just to remind John in a way that he was still with him, despite being seated near Lafayette. He wasn't forgotten.

"Everything is delicious, you're an amazing chef Laf." John compliments, giving Lafayette a thumbs up as he takes another mouthful of mashed potato. Oh, the gravy was heavenly. It was so meaty and rich.

Lafayette caught John's gaze, Alex was busy feasting and Lafayette just held up his wine to him as he smiled softly. John knew it was silly to feel heated from something as silly as that but it did. "I am glad you are enjoying your dinner. Feel free to get more if you want, there is plenty".

John gave Lafayette a 'are you serious' look because there was just too much on his plate to begin with. "Laf, I think I've got more than enough." John says with an awkward laugh.

Alex is heading in for another slice of roast ham, he jabs his fork into it and lands it on his plate. "Well if John isn't gonna then I'm sure as hell gonna," Alex says all giddily. "Thanks for cooking, once again, sweetness".

The pet names Alex tended to use for both him and Lafayette were different John noted. While his were usually cheeky and playful, Lafayette's were always more, well they felt more domesticated. Lafayette says to Alex that it's fine, they were married, he was used to it. John can feel Lafayette's eyes on him and John figures Lafayette, may be wondering what John thought when Alex called him affection names. John tries not to look at him and ignores the staring.

John's got his eyes glued to his plate and he can hear the wet noise of a kiss. This was Alex testing him, seeing if John was crack in jealously or freak out and probably run for the hills on Christmas day. But he didn't, John continued to eat and that's when conversation started up again.

"Ah, so, John do you plan to stay in New York once you have excelled your studies hm?" Lafayette asks him. John forces himself to look at Lafayette, he can't be rude and ignore him.

Now at this question Alex was staring fairly intently at him. Both him and John hadn't discussed the future of them much, it was only about what John would be doing for Alex within their agreement. John didn't really know himself. He shifts his eyes to Alex's and Alex is sipping at his water, clearly getting ready to speak.

"I hope I can do," John says, he attempts to sound like he's certain. "I mean I've met a lot of awesome people so far." He looks back to Alex grinning away and Alex gives him a little smile back.

Lafayette just hums as he goes for the bottle of white white. As he's pouring it in, he says, "I see, I see. New York has many wonders, many interesting characters. I can remember when I first came here. When was it... around-" Lafayette is looking to Alex, he gives him a small nudge. "Alexander what year?"

Alex shakes his head. "Babe, it was the same year you started college." He says with a sigh.

"Ah yes, the millennium year!" Lafayette chuckles, he runs a hand through his hair. "I forget, pardon. But, yes, I fell in love with New York. Although, Paris is busy, New York is different to Paris and I had the chance to meet Alexander" He nudges Alex again affectionately. "I fell in love with him too".

Alex gives an 'aw' at him and John doesn't know what to say, apart from sit there scoffing his chicken and smiling awkwardly.

"I think you should stay" Alex says firmly to John.

His big brown eyes are pleading almost. John bites his lip and goes for another piece of his chicken. "I agree with Alexander," Lafayette adds. "New York may just be the making of you Mon ami".

But John knew Alex was asking not to really stay for work but for him. "If I can get a job here, sure. I'll stay." and he's looking at Alex who goes back to smiling.

"Mm, well" Alex starts up, he's having another mouthful of water. "If you play your cards right, honey, I think something may just land in your lap very soon".

John squints at Alex, he didn't get it. He wondered if Alex was hinting at something. John didn't push on it though and brushes it off.

"I've always wanted to work for Disney, maybe even Pixar." John said shyly. Lafayette's eyes lit up, he hurried his food and was covering his smiling mouth. Alex didn't even look surprised by this point. He turns to Lafayette chuckling.

"Really?!" Lafayette says once he's swallowed. Lafayette is shaking Alex's shoulder in excitement, he's like a big child. John liked this side of Lafayette, all the kiddy things John liked, Lafayette seemed to be well into. It was nice to have something in common. "Alexander! He might work for Disney one day!"

Alex drives a hand down the side of his face. "Oh god" he mutters to himself and goes back to his dinner. Lafayette and John have a conversation about Disney studios, ideas for Disney movies and John explains to Lafayette how animation works.

Lafayette listens as he eats, he's utterly fascinated by how today's production worked and John, excusing himself in the process, grabbed out his phone to show them some of his stuff from class. Lafayette takes his phone to have a better look, without asking as usual, Alex leans in to watch with him.

Alex's brow rose. "Damn, honey, you've got some talent there." He says, Alex clicks on to another one. Lafayette nods in agreement and he passes his phone back to John.

"If you do work there, Mon ami, please create the story of a French prince and his palace home of New York. " Lafayette exasperates as he raises his glass of wine in the air laughing.

John slips his phone back into his pocket, grinning. "Well you know, if I got in there, I would. Disney definitely needs a movie focusing on two dudes or two girls for a change."

They both agreed with John on that one. After dinner they sat around on the sofa for Alex's favourite showing of 'Elf'. With John and Alex on one end of the sofa, Lafayette on the other, his long thin legs took up half the sofa alone.

It was cosy, comfortable and they were all stuffed. John was tucked between Alex's thighs, resting his head on Alex's stomach and Alex had already long fell asleep. His snoring filling the room. John cast Lafayette a look and he stifled a laugh because it was almost as if it was they were on cue.

"I told you Mon ami" Lafayette snickered.

With Alex asleep both Lafayette and John got on xbox for the next couple of hours. Then they had themselves a drink together, Lafayette took his wine out on the balcony while he had himself a quick cigarette. John was left alone there on the sofa with Alex snoring away. A Wonderful Life was playing on the TV and it wasn't exactly one of John's favourite Christmas movies. He looked to the balcony just to gaze at Lafayette casually puffing away there in thought. So John got up and decided he would go join him.

Now out of the warm, John pulls his borrowed night robe of Alex's around him tighter as he approached Lafayette's side. It was a big balcony, fancy wooden panel white flooring that had a wooden row of seating, with little lights installed into them. John always admired the posh greenery, it amazed him just how much like a garden it all looked. Everything was covered in snow, including the sofas and coffee table. Then there is Lafayette, who's leaning over the railing watching the city go by. Even on Christmas day, New York never rested.

"Hey" John said quietly.

Lafayette turns briefly to him, he raises his brow for a second since John was never really the first to approach him. Lafayette gives him a small smile with his cigarette there in his mouth, John's breath hitches and he darts his eyes away to look at the passing cars in the distance. It's already evening now, the sky a dark hue of blue with cold murky clouds. All the little cars zooming past were just blurs of passing light.

"Thank you for inviting me today" John says shyly. He rests against the railing himself. There's a small space between him and Lafayette. They're not too far away but close enough. John figures he should talk more, try to get to know Lafayette and initiate conversation without Alex being there to help him. John wants to get to know him more yet he's still partly jealous Alex is married to this man. It felt like such a mess.

But then he says. "You've made today feel really amazing. It's the best day I've had in a _long_ time Lafayette." John confessed, it was, it'd been great. John felt happy.

"It's really kind of you guys, I was honestly just gonna stay at my dorm and just probably do nothing," John tells him. Lafayette is listening, his dark pretty eyes are engraving themselves into John's soul not far short. "I did get invited by my friend Peggy, I love her to pieces but I just didn't feel like it was right. Yet somehow being here today makes me feel like - like it kinda does". John finishes and this time he meets Lafayette's attention.

Lafayette has one last drag of his cigarette and he's stubbing it out on the railing.

John slips his face into the palms of his hands, his elbows resting. "I just wanted to let you know, I appreciate you letting me be here. Since I left home, today is the first time that makes me feel-" John stops himself from his little ramble. He had to, he couldn't finish it. It felt too soon to be spewing out all this nonsense and he stands upright.

"John Laurens" Lafayette breaks the looming silence. He flicks the cigarette butt into the distance and he inches slightly closer to John. While John can feel his heart speed him, he can feel Lafayette's heat next to him, his tall lean figure closeting and John can't keep eye contact to save his life. That's always his problem with Lafayette, he can never look him in the eye.

"Would you like to spend New Year with me and Alexander?"

New Year. John had almost forgotten about that, he was asked by his father that if he wasn't coming home for Christmas, was John at least going back for New Year. Martha had begged him too but John didn't see why he should bother. To welcome another year with his brute of a father and a broken family. John didn't feel up to it.

Usually their New Years consisted of Henry Laurens inviting work friends over just to avoid having to spend time with his kids. So it was more like a big work get together, other senates and business men with their wives. His father telling everyone to be on their best behaviour, no alcohol for them, only to speak when spoken to and don't speak out of term. John hated it. They always had to dress up too, it was never chilled and relaxed.

Half way through the night before it was even New Year, John and Martha always got up on the roof of the house with a spare bottle stolen from their dad's office. Their younger siblings always stayed in their rooms watching movies. It was pretty depressing and John was glad he got out of it this year. He just felt sorry for Martha being left by herself.

John smiles and he nods. "Sure, sure I'd love to."

He didn't want to be alone on New Year. John was tired of always feeling alone, he'd felt alone growing up, he'd felt alone every other Christmas and New Year. It would be good for him. John sees Lafayette's eyes shine and his small smile grows slightly. There's that moment between them, neither are saying anything and they're just looking into each others eyes. It's quiet apart from the faint traffic and TV from inside.

As he is turning away again, John tries to focus on anything but Lafayette and those eyes. They make him weak, he's sure of it. That's when he felt the light brushing of fingers and John can feel them gently raking in his hair. It was the first time Lafayette probably had touched his hair too, Alex was never not touching it but Lafayette's touch was different. It was a little hesitant as if he weren't sure, despite being very touchy feely as part of his personality. Lafayette was a mystery, a dark horse, he comes across to John as someone with a lot to them when John wasn't around.

But when he was there, Lafayette curled back into his shell. As if he weren't sure how he should act around John. It must still be new to him as well John thinks, this whole ordeal between John and his husband.

Then Lafayette has his other hand in John's hair, he's looking at John and John doesn't do well to hide his smile. It creeps up on his lips and instanty Lafayette is standing behind him. His curls are out, they're loose blowing beautifully in the cold wind. John can feel his broad torso behind him, Lafayette is close, very close and John can smell that spiced cologne he's got on. He smells amazing and it's making John's legs turn to Jelly, Lafayette's breathing behind him subtly on his nape and he's doing whatever it is with his hair.

It was nice.

It was nice just being within each others company, with Alex he always felt the need to talk but Lafayette is happy with silence. A bit of chatter and that does it for him. Lafayette's fingers are working in fast motion, John is watching the last of what daylight there is be engulfed by the darkness of the night. The outdoor lights have already came on, they're fairly dim but it's enough for Lafayette to still know what he's doing.

When he's done John goes to feel whatever it is and Lafayette tells him to wait a moment. He's finishing whatever he's doing, John hears a ping of elastic and Lafayette said to him that it was done. When they go back inside, John's gone to the mirror there by the bookshelves in the front room and he's admiring Lafayette's handy work. It was called a lace braid fishtail apparently. John really liked it and when he asked Lafayette just how he learnt how to do these, he told him it was a secret. Followed by a quick flirtatious wink.

John thought he was going to go dizzy, this man really worked him up. When Alex finally woke up or more like when Lafayette woke him because otherwise Alex would be awake for the night. The first thing Alex said was, "Honey! Your hair!"

"Laf did it for me" John says as he looked to Lafayette, the pair of them sharing a particular heated look. John shouldn't be blushing, he shouldn't.

Alex pulled Lafayette into a hug, "You've made my baby boy look beautiful! Thank you sweetie!" And he's giving Lafayette a big smooch. John rolls his eyes and Lafayette is staring at John during their kiss. Alex hops over to John giving him a hug from before and then he's playing with John's fishtail, fingering all the little details in his hair. "Fuckin' gorgeous" Alex whispers into John's ear and it only made poor John burn up more. 

"You are wrong, Mon cher. John Laurens is already beautiful." John and Lafayette share that look again. But Lafayette didn't sound as if he were joking, playing along with Alex. He sounded genuine.

That probably did it for John and abruptly he excused himself to go to the bathroom.

When he came back they all had some chocolate pudding together followed by another bottle of red wine, TV Christmas specials were playing. The night flew by quickly and before they were aware, it was already past two in the morning. John was lay between Alex and Lafayette. His head resting on Alex's as he dozed and Alex was already back to sleep. Lafayette was the only one aware still finishing his last glass of wine and he was barely keeping his concentration on whatever it was on the TV.

John was just about to fall asleep, his eye-lids felt like lead, he couldn't keep them open anymore and as he did his head rolls from Alex then on Lafayette's shoulder. He didn't realise it and he was already asleep. John missed seeing Lafayette's gentle expression, seeing his smile and the faint mumble of " Oh cherie". John reeled into the tousling of his hair and nuzzled into that touch. He was in and out of sleep but could still make out a bit of chatter.

"- both look so cosy!"

"Alexander, sh."

There was this floating feeling, John felt like he was flying for a moment.

"Is he heavy?"

"Not as heavy as you Mon cher-"

Then there was this soft sensation. John thought he was swimming in silk, it smelled like fresh daises and spiced vanilla. He could feel himself toss and turn in this feeling. It was so good.

"- John, honey, roll over to the end-"

"He's asleep Alexander. Just leave him there."

"You don't mind him in the middle?"

"Bien sûr, cela ne me dérange pas. Il me tiendra au chaud pendant que je dors."

John could feel himself shift to the side. That warm, soft feeling was still there.

"-growing on you, isn't he Laf?"

And then there was no more chatter, it finished and John could feel himself black out completely.

 

* * *

 

When John awoke the next morning, Boxing day, the first thing he noticed was that he wasn't budged in the chest of Alex. Nope, it wasn't Alex.

It took John a minute or two after rubbing the sleep from his eyes to realise he was in Lafayette's warmth. Lafayette had one arm hooked around his pillow, he even looked graceful when he was sleeping and his other arm was over his face. He must sleep like that it seemed. John however was in some kind of odd positive, his legs threaded in Lafayette's and his face almost buried into Lafayette's much broader, toned chest.

John had no idea what Lafayette looked like topless, he'd only as much ever seen him in a tank top and John had seen his arms. He could see them now, for a man of thirty-six years of age, he looked better than some men John's age. Thick, milky-caramel, sculpted arms, still lean but powerful. John took a moment to stare at them, he wondered what they felt like and then John had to shake out those thoughts because this was not good.

He could still feel the jogger bottoms on his legs and his borrowed shirt was still on, John made a small sigh of relief. He hadn't done anything stupid. They must have put him to bed when he passed out.

Then John leaned over his other side to see Alex who was on his back snoring loudly as possible. John liked his snore, he'd grown to endure it enough now and it was quite endearing. John sat up between them and he's looking around for his phone, it wasn't there so he assumed it was still in the living room. John decides to lie back down, snuggled between the heat of both men as he closes his eyes again, he's smiling to himself. Perhaps this dynamic wouldn't be so bad.

Later on John doesn't even mention waking up in the middle of them both. They have some breakfast, Lafayette makes these amazing waffles with the syrup topped with raspberries for him and John. Alex went for a standard cup of joe and a slice of toast. John stays the whole day there again but he does stress that he has to go home at some point. Lafayette recommends they go shopping but Alex protests and says its all "sales garbage" the shops are trying to give away. Plus it was freezing out, John ended up staying over again and the day after he told them that he really did have to go back to his dorm.

Alex tried to get him to stay another night and Lafayette did say it would be nice but respected John's wishes. Lafayette gave John the rest of the leftovers from Christmas dinner, including some deserts, bread sticks and cheeses just incase he got hungry like a doting parent. A whole two bag full.

That's when John realised, Alex wasn't wrong about how Lafayette tried to fatten you up. Lafayette said he was "a growing boy" and needed feeding. So John thanked them both, got a kiss and hug from Alex while Lafayette gave him a quick one-armed hug. John felt it linger longer than it needed, their eyes met as they broke away and John forced himself to think no more of it.

After Alex called and paid a cab for him, John made it back to his dorm quickly. It felt like forever since he was home and after five minutes he was already missing the penthouse, missing them. Alex and Lafayette. John bit his lip as he thought on their Christmas together, he was glad he went. John messaged his siblings and they were happy with their gifts. John did a quick shop on Amazon for them all, got it sent over and that had been it.

So then John goes to hang up his coat and as he does something falls out.

John bends down to pick it up, when he does he realises it present. A small box wrapped in pretty gold paper with a little red bow. John already has an idea who may have snuck it inside.

"Alex..." John mutters to himself as he's grinning.

John unravels the bow with such care and he's careful not to ruin the paper, it felt expensive, that luxury feel of thickness. As he does John finds a brown little box, John whirled his finger around its smooth finish. So he opens it and inside is a little silver band with three jotted little white diamonds in it. John's eyes are at their widest and he's taking it out.

He slides it on to one of his fingers and it fit like a glove. John questioned how he knew his ring size but at the same time John was overwhelmed. It was gorgeous, he didn't own anything like this. John wasn't really a jewellery person, he'd been given dodgy thick chains before for previous birthdays off aunts and uncles, they had made him feel like a wannabe ganger though or cheap shit jewellery he'd ordered online. But nothing topped this. 

There was a note underneath the padding and John opens it up after admiring the ring. It was so slim, so small but effective. John wondered the cost was too because the stones looked real. Inside the note it read "Thank Lafayette, he gave me the idea. Just a little something for Christmas, we hope you like it! Merry Christmas baby. X A&L" In Alex's perfectly, perfect handwriting of course. But John was more shocked that Lafayette had convinced Alex to buy him a ring.

Immediately John dives to his phone there on his desk and he's getting Alex up before dialling it like a mad man. In seconds he's answering it on the other end.

"Honey! Hey, hello. You've only been gone for twenty minutes! You wanna come back?"

John completely ignores his question. "Alex what is this?"

There is a pause. "Huh? What?"

"This ring! Alex... is it real?" John says as he's examining it on his finger. It looked quite pretty there.

He can hear Lafayette in the background. Then Alex is back to him, "Yeah honey, course. Only the best for my baby boy! Oh my god! Have you got it on?"

"Yeah, it fits perfectly. Thank you so much!" John says back, he is thankful. It's beautiful and John wants to hug him right now.

"Aw, it's nothin' honey. Laf gave me the idea of a promise ring, it's just something to remember me by. Just so my baby boy knows, daddy cares about him very much."

A promise ring. So that's what it was. John is twirling his hand around, all the gorgeous diamonds glittering in the lamp of his desk. So bright, so perfect.

"Tell Lafayette I said thank you too. This is really kind of you two, I appreciate it." John chews his lip and he adds, "Thank you daddy!"

He can hear Alex chuckle down the line, evidently loving that his sugar baby was satisfied. Lafayette was saying something else and John could make out he was saying John was welcome.

"You are most welcome little one. You gonna show it off at our New Years party?" Alex purrs down the line.

That was right, Lafayette had invited him to spend New Years together. But he hadn't mentioned anything about a party though. John's stomach turned and churned, a party.

He didn't do well at social events like that and knowing both Lafayette and Alex, probably were going to invite top head people from big businesses. John thought about home, South Carolina and his father's parties. Those were the same, tons of uninterested people with too much money and boring conversation, everything was a fake facade.

John's grip on his phone tightened and he stopped twirling his finger. "Um, daddy-"

"Yes, sugar I'm here?"

"What kind of party is it?" John asks slowly. Alex must've picked up the nerves in his tone.

"It's a party?"

John moves the phone away and sighs before putting it back to his ear, "I meant like, is it a business one or something? I remember you told me at the start that I would have to come with you to certain events?"

Then Alex is laughing and saying, "Nooooo! Oh god, no honey. It's nothing like that. This is more or less a get together with some of our close friends, that's all. This is casual, I know you can be a little bit shy and unsure but our friends are nice. They'll love you! It'll be nice to show you off."

John's furrows his brow.

"You mean, wait, people know?!"

He can hear Lafayette laugh. John assumes he's on loud speaker. "It's like I've said before, honey, me and Laf are very open. Of course our close friends know. They've met previous partners of ours, they understand and it hit off pretty well."

"Okay then, that's cool." John says. "Do I dress up?"

Another chuckle from Alex. "It's casual, god John. You could wear a potato sack with arm and leg holes in it, I wouldn't care-"

Then Lafayette is shouting "I would care!" and John chuckles.

"Babe, sh. But nah honey, it'll be great. You turn up looking cute as a fuckin' button like you always do and pop on your ring, on them pretty fingers. You'll have fun, stop worrying".

After Alex gave him a time for the New Years eve party and the call ended, that's when John finally sat down on his bed. He's admiring his ring, it was gorgeous. He couldn't believe they'd chosen to give him this as a gift. It was a joint present and John couldn't believe it was from Lafayette too.

Lafayette.

John's cheeks warmed.

Then that's when John wanted to die because that was also when he realised. Alex had put him on loud speaker and it was the first time Lafayette heard him openly called Alex 'daddy'.

Although, he could always say he caught another cold and wasn't going. John did as well, there was no way he could face them. And he did text Alex and immediately got a response back.

 

**From: Laf, To: You:**

No excuses, Mon ami. Your daddy and I made an agreement, you are coming. X

 

The irony was a killer.

With a wail John face planted his pillow and closed his eyes.

He wasn't getting out of this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Arrêtez = Stoppit!
> 
> *Bien sûr, cela ne me dérange pas. Il me tiendra au chaud pendant que je dors. =  
> Of course, that does not bother me, it will keep me warm while I sleep." 
> 
> * Oh Cherie = Oh Darling 
> 
>  
> 
> Okayyyyyyyy so there is a lot of little Laf/John moments... but give it time! 
> 
> Also some of you are waiting for more Laf/Alex and for now I am probably going to center on John with each of them individually. Laf and Alex have been together for years and they've been married for a few years too. So they know each other, they know their habits, they've been bedding each other for years on end so little John coming along is like a breath of fresh air ;p 
> 
> I didn't like this chapter that much but I'm happy with it :)
> 
> Please comment! I love and appreciate your messages! x


	8. NEW YEAR

John had to block his father from calling him and the Schuyler sister had insisted John spend New Years with their family. As usual John declined their offer and John didn't miss the way Peggy coldly put the phone down on him.

God, John knew that he hadn't spent much time with them recently, as soon as John got back to his dorm after spending it with Alex and Lafayette, he was back in work but Lava Java wasn't as hectic, however it was still busy though due to the January sales. Also the annoying speciality menu was still available and John officially declared to Hercules that he now hated anything pumpkin spiced, eggnog or ginger.

When New Years Eve approached though, Lava Java shut early thankfully leaving John and Hercules wishing each other a happy new year. John had to get back to his dorm and get ready since he had a party to go to later. Martha had called him during his lunch break, she said their father wasn't happy that John not only got out of Christmas but he was avoiding coming home for New Year as well. John hinted to her that he was seeing somebody, she pushed for more answers but John loved to keep her guessing. He told her he had a party later on and she told him that they would all give him a call after the countdown. So that was that.

It was already early evening and John had just finished getting ready. He hoped that his plain white shirt, a jacket and some dark jeans with some dark brown brogues looked okay. He had his lovely new ring on, god he couldn't stop looking at it and whenever he did, he thought of Alex. Lafayette slipped into his trail of thoughts too and it left John flushed. With his hair John managed to scraped together a bun. He just thought it looked a bit more well presented, than having his hair all over the place and it was still frizzy from his shower.

After a brief check over in the mirror, keys, wallet, coat and scarf. John locked his door and he was off. Alex had told him to ring him whenever he was ready, he wanted to pick him up but John jumped a cab to their place. He thought he would just turn up and surprise them. Hell, he even had a bottle at the ready too.

John did his usual greet with the doorman he'd gotten to know and grabbed the elevator to their floor. A quick ring of the doorbell and it opened within a couple of minutes. Revealing a very bright-eyed Lafayette. "Ah, it is John Laurens" he all but purred. As the door opens, John is walking inside as Lafayette has it held open for him, the pair of them locking eyes for a second, both grinning.

"Monsieur" John greets him in a fake French accent, his eyes playful and Lafayette's eyebrows rose up.

As he closes the door, he never breaks eye contact but John is the first to look away, as usual. All his confidence fizzling out and he's taking off his coat.

"Laisse-moi prendre ton manteau pour toi?" Lafayette chirps as he's slipping off John's coat from his shoulders. John looks back to him with a puzzled expression and he blurts, "What?"

As Lafayette carefully places his coat on the hook and he snickers to himself. "I thought you were speaking French little John, non?"

His freckled cheeks are burning up and Lafayette has his hand behind his lower back as he is guiding John into the living room. John can feel his touch burning through his jacket, Lafayette tall by his side and he's gazing up at him again just for another sneaky look. Lafayette looked amazing. He always cleaned up pretty well, even in his loungewear, Lafayette looked breath-taking, a Parisian beauty. Elegant as ever.

"You look really good Laf, thanks for inviting me tonight." John could have probably told him just what he thought of Lafayette's dress code. Anyone would assume a grey cable knit and dark jacket would be quite boring, but Lafayette always made basics look amazing. He was like a model.

Lafayette quickly thanked John for the drink he brought and John followed him to the kitchen. The counters were all littered with booze, glasses and more booze. There was some trays of nibbles out on the other side too. Everything looked so fancy and stylish. Lafayette offered John anything, as usual, John just accepted a bag of chips. As he took a seat the counter, John had to prop the little chair a bit higher and Lafayette grabbed them some glasses. "Hey where's Alex?"

A bottle of Sam Adams is slid over for John and Lafayette is pouring in some wine in two glasses. "He is getting himself ready for the evening, Mon ami. He won't be too long." Lafayette comes and he's walking over opposite John now. He's eyeing him up, John knows he's looking at what he's wearing and Lafayette places his glass down. He leans over to grab John's collar and as he does, John's adams apple is bobbing. He didn't expect things to go like this.

But he settles when he realises Lafayette is only straightening his collar out a bit. Lafayette steps back and collects his glass again, he smirks at John. "There, all perfect." He says quietly. John bites his lip and he's dropping his gaze, he moves a curl out of his face and tucks it between his ear. Lafayette must've noticed the ring because he's taking John's hand next, gently and his thumb brushes over it lightly.

"Ah, there it is. I knew the colour would compliment you." Lafayette said. John smiles and nods. "Alexander was not sure which to purchase. I tell him, silver. It is timeless. A small band and small detail."

A light is lit in John's eyes and he's turning back to him. "Wait, you picked this one?"

Lafayette shuffled to lean down there, elbows on the counter, he's still admiring John's ring. "Ah, yes. I did. I think it suits you well, I was correct. Although-" He pauses and those dark eyes meet John's. Thrill shivers through John and his heart is beating like a drum. "I think many things would suit you." Lafayette said although it sounded more like a whisper. As if he were a bit unsure of himself but yet wanted John to hear.

He didn't get what that meant. Lafayette seemed to be implying something, John was about to ask until their attention was captured by Alex's "Honey! There you areeeee!"

Alex came fleeing over to John there on his stool. He wraps his arms around John's waist and John flung his around Alex's neck, both of them squeezing each other. This time John was the one to give Alex a full on kiss, Alex melted into it and kissed him back. Lafayette was still leant against the counter top, grinning, watching them. Mostly John.

As they pulled away, Alex looking at John with a big bright smile. Alex looked nice there in his jacket, crisp shirt and jeans. John notices Alex's hair is in a bun but it's done much more nicely, it's twisted in a fancy way and as John is fingering it, he looks to Lafayette who is watching him sharply. John smirks, he knows just who Alex had his hair done by. "Your hair looks amazing" John tells Alex.

Alex shoots Lafayette a glance. "You should be telling him that," he says before turning back to John. "Aw honey, you came. I'm so glad! You look awesome, knew you'd be a fuckin' belle at the ball." John's gone bright red, Lafayette is agreeing with Alex doesn't help either. Since Lafayette is practically eating him alive with his eyes.

"That is not all, Alexander you should see his hand." Lafayette says, his finger playfully tapping his mouth. So Alex immediately takes John's hand, he sees there is nothing on that one and John raises the one with the ring. "Perfection, am I right?" Lafayette chuckles.

John is shying away from them, he isn't used to this many compliments and as overbearing as it was, it was certainly nice. Alex had a firmer grip of his hand and pulled John back. He's looking over the ring, smiling softly and then he's taking it to his mouth, kissing at it as he meets John's eyes.

"Of course he's perfect, Laf!" Alex exclaims before he's pulling John into another squeeze. John wasn't quite sure about that but if Alex said so then he was happy. Lafayette poured Alex his red wine and they sat around talking before a few guests were ringing the doorbell.

Now whenever John had been home for New Year, he and his brothers were always to stand by the door. Greet guests, a handshake and to engage in conversation when asked. Those were the rules but John wasn't really used to being tossed into hugs by strangers or have his shoulders squeezed to the point where they bruised. Alex and Lafayette had a lot of friends. A lot of them.

The room soon filled up and John felt like a lost little mite. Lafayette and Alex had told him to just be himself, while Alex told John to try and mingle, Lafayette joked he should just drink, loosen up that way. So between awkward sips of his beer and small talk with people, that was what John did. He felt like he didn't belong though, these people were somebodies, they had money, fancy cars and John felt like a nobody. He was just a student who worked in a coffee shop that got lucky.

John wasn't sure how many hours had passed. It felt like forever since he last saw Lafayette nor Alex.

The music was loud, people were having a dance and the shrieking laughter made John feel light-headed. Lafayette and Alex were probably off talking to god knows who. So John headed for the bathroom, he just needed a second to himself. Everything hurt his head. But then again John had never been great in loud, crazy places. He could feel his heart pace quicken and his palms go sweaty. He felt like he couldn't breathe.

That was when he knew, he was having a panic attack.

John slammed down his bottle elsewhere and he had to make a dash for the bathroom. When he got to it the door was locked, someone was inside and there was few people waiting for it who didn't look impressed for him cutting the line.

So John hurried for the balcony, he got outside but it was still full up. All the sofa chairs had been taken up, some couple was sat on the coffee table there and the ringing laughing didn't help. He felt like they were laughing at him, John felt scared and he wanted to cry.

He manages to get to the railing and John clasps it for dear life. He just has to breathe in some cold air before he collapses. The cold winter air felt good, it burnt his lungs but it helped a bit. Just then John feels a hand land on his shoulder and he shrieks. The bar of the railing is already slippery from the snow, John's arm skids and he's almost toppling over.

Fear flashes over John's face as he thinks the worst is about to happen, he's going to die on News Years Eve, all he can think of 'this is it' and a couple of people near by with their drinks gasp loudly. But John is steadied by a firm pair of hands on his shoulders and pulled forwards into the safely of a broad chest.

John is gasping, heaving and almost on the brink of tears. He's holding on to the sweater of whoever it is that has literally just saved him from being another headline in New York news. Plus John didn't think his mother would be so pleased to see him this soon. John is ushered away to near the wall, where it's safer and he hears, "Merde! John, are you okay?"

Of course, it's Lafayette. John could recognise that French accent anywhere by now. John's nodding, well for the sake of nodding. He isn't okay, he's far from okay. He's terrified and he's almost just slipped off the balcony ledge to his death. Lafayette is taking John by his cheeks, John meets his eyes and Lafayette looks alert, more serious than John has ever seen him. John can't help but Lafayette looked scared himself.

"I..." John couldn't get the words out. Everything was so confusing, whenever Lafayette was around him or looked at him sent John feeling crazy. Just like how Alex made him feeling but in a different way. The people around them made his head buzz and a headache was approaching now. John's tears couldn't hold back any longer, they were on their brink and Lafayette saw them too. He didn't want to cry though, John tries his best but failed.

Lafayette used his thumb to wipe them away and then he's grabbing John by the hand. Their fingers entwined felt like pure magic. Lafayette sternly tells his guests to step aside and he's pulling John through the crowds of people. He's leading John into their bedroom, there is a couple of people lounging around on the bed and Lafayette tells them to kindly leave the room, so they do. Luckily no one is in the ensuite bathroom, Lafayette pulls the door shut and locks it. John takes a seat on the toilet lid.

Once he's sat down John just breaks into tears. He feels like a baby, so childish and pathetic. Lafayette kneels down there in front of him, he is grabbing a handful of toilet tissue roll and he's dabbing at John's reddened cheeks.

"What happened?" Lafayette asks him.

John can only shrug. He doesn't know how to explain to Lafayette how he feels and how a room full of people can easily toss him into a panic attack. "Mon ami, I see you running through the living room and I follow you, you are on the balcony and almost, you are falling!" Lafayette exsperates, he didn't sound angry, mostly concerned.

Lafayette is knelt there looking up at him, head to the side with a sorrowed look on his face. He continues to wipe John's eyes and John looks away again. God, he hated that he did that to Lafayette. He always found it so difficult to just look back at him. This time John feels Lafayette's soft hand, his long fingers gently bring his face back around to meet his and eventually John had to look at him.

"Why do you avoid me?" Lafayette asks him, it's such a simple question. Lafayette is right, John does avoid him and it hurts to know he does it on purpose. He doesn't mean to. John likes Lafayette but he worries maybe too much for his own good.

John shrugs again. He hiccups too.

Lafayette uses his fingers to add soothing circles on his cheeks. He's only known John for a short space of time and Lafayette seemed to act like he cares. John hoped he did because John already did. He knew he would end up liking Lafayette, no matter if he was with Alex or not. He knew from the get go that he would never be able to hold back from Lafayette. As soon as their eyes met in that restaurant, he'd left John breathless. Helpless even.

And it scared him.

"I'm sorry," John says. "Sometimes a lot of people makes me feel... like I can't breathe." and he's gazing into Lafayette's eyes, longingly.

Lafayette's eye widen and it's his turn to look away. He just smiles, he stands up and he passes John the tissue. Instead he sits on the edge of the bath facing John rather. "You have, uh, is it anxious? I forgot the name, pardon." Lafayette runs a hand over his face like he's ashamed.

"Anxiety?" John offers as he's blowing his nose.

"Yes!" Lafayette says and he snaps his fingers. "That is the word, I am sorry. Me and Alexander mostly communicate in French. It is normal for us." John just smiles, he understands, they have their own little thing.

As John wipes his reddened eyes, he says, "It's cool Laf. Never apologise, your English is amazing. I think you're amazing anyway though."

With a little smile off Lafayette, he stands and he's taking John's hand hoisting him up. It always baffles John just how strong Lafayette really is.

"Do you feel better now?" He asks John.

John nods but he still doesn't want to go back out into the party. His nerves are all over the place, the shock of almost slipping off one of the highest floors in the building was still processing in John's brain. He's still sniffling, feeling ridiculous that at his age he goes through panic attacks and John is wiping at his eyes again. Lafayette takes the back of his nape and begins to rub soothing circles around it.

"Shall we go for a walk?" Lafayette asks softly.

Anything, anything to go away from here for half an hour. John gave a subtle nod and he's gone to wash up his face, splashing it with water there at the sink. Lafayette has a hand towel at the ready for him, John reaches for it but Lafayette is there rubbing at his face. John's shy gaze meets his and he can't help but feel bad for feeling like this. He tells Lafayette that he is ready to go and they're out of the bathroom.

There is a guy and a girl on the bed when they reenter the bedroom, close friends of Alex's apparently and Lafayette lets on to them as they're passing out the room. Lafayette turns to John before they leave the bedroom, he tells John not to worry and he's got John by his hand as he's pulling him through the swarms of drunk, laughing people. Some bump into John and Lafayette, John does his best to keep breathing, deep breaths in and out while Lafayette gets them to the front door.

Lafayette is grabbing John's coat and his own before they step out. In the hallway its a bit quieter, all that could be heard was the mumble of the party from inside and a few people who were lurking the hallway with their drinks having a chat. John slides back into his coat and Lafayette shoves his on. They're taking the elevator and then they're out into the chilly night air of the neighbourhood.

Despite Alex not being with them, it felt nice to be alone with Lafayette. It was quieter, Alex was always the one to fill in the gaps with his big mouth and usually always brought the two together when things got too quiet. But John could sense his relationship with Lafayette was a lot different than with Alex. It was still rocky, John was still learning how Lafayette worked and he was trying to become more immune to his accent. But the more he spoke with Lafayette the better he could understand him.

They walked side by side down the the street, a few people were wondering around from the party and there was a couple of others joining. Lafayette waved at them and told them to go on up. They shouted where were they going to him and Lafayette but Lafayette brushed them off. John felt a little smug and glad to have Lafayette all to himself. It was fairly rare that he ever did.

Lafayette asked John if he was okay with him lighting up a cigarette. John didn't care, Lafayette could do what he wanted. So he did, he lights one up as they're walking from the complex.

Fireworks were being let off from afar, somewhere in the city and they're both gazing them as they continue to walk on. They walk closely, Lafayette initiates some small talk and he tells John about New Years in Paris. John asks silly things about France, what it's like, what Lafayette's childhood was like and how he learnt English. Basic stuff but meaningful things. Lafayette didn't seem to mind answering.

France sounded beautiful when Lafayette described it to him. He looked proud of his country but slightly lovelorn when he spoke about it. John asked him if he would ever go back, permanently and Lafayette shook his head, smiling at John. He said he belonged here in New York with Alex. Alex was his family now. Whatever that meant, John didn't press. John had suspicions something may have happened in Lafayette's family, John had picked up little things along the way but never asked about the negative. That was Lafayette's business after all.

They stopped at the little park down the end of the hill and sat on the wall just watching the rest of the fireworks. Blues, pinks and greens splattering like confetti in the sky. John looked mesmerised, he always loved fireworks, they were so magical and a warm feeling of nostalgia would flood in whenever he saw them. All those dinners together back when his mother was alive, every fourth of July they would let them off. Not so much anymore.

"How do you feel now?" Lafayette asks him as he takes another drag.

John huddles into his scarf a bit more for that extra warmth. "I feel a bit better," He says quietly and John is hanging his head. "I'm sorry, I don't do well around lots of people. Even at work, it's difficult somedays and I don't do the serving. I mostly just make the drinks." John feels like a baby as he tells Lafayette the horrible truth. He wasn't sure just how much Alex had told Lafayette about him, the real him.

Lafayette was staring at him and even there in the dark, it felt like it was burning right through John. So he continued, "Somedays its difficult and other days I'm okay, the feeling is horrible. It's like you're going to die but you're not dying. That's why I had to get out, get some air and then I almost..." John trailed off and he didn't want to finish the last part. Lafayette clears his throat and he shuffles nearer to John, their shoulders were touching.

"You know, Mon ami. You and myself are not that different." Lafayette tells him between another drag. John's eyes follow the smoke mingling with Lafayette's hot breath as he spoke. "When I was much younger, very young. It was troubling for myself to be around many people." Now with this nugget of information, John's head snapped around to Lafayette.

"Wait... you?" John says briskly. He didn't believe that for a moment. "Lafayette, you're one of the most confident men I've met. You and Alex actually."

Lafayette chuckles, he shakes his head. "Alexander may come across as boisterous, Mon ami but he is sensitive. Because Alexander speaks before he thinks, does not necessarily mean he always has confidence. He is confident when he has to be. We both work in high places, there is difficult people, men and women."

Lafayette takes one last drag before he's stubbing out his cigarette on the wall. "In my line of work, I attend many meetings and I must present. It is _not_ easy, I can feel nervous also. But I try and the work is done. Do not worry though, little John, your confidence will bloom eventually."

So Lafayette was trying to cheer John up. It felt good to know John wasn't alone. He's looking up at Lafayette with big eyes, wanting to know more about this dark horse next to him. "When I first began my career, I suffered with many of these 'attacks' non? Many people think with money you can not worry or be carefree, as they say. But that is not the case. Not at all."

Without thinking John places his hand on top of Lafayette's there on the wall. Lafayette has his attention set on the fireworks but John can feel Lafayette's long fingers curl around his own. His hand filled John with warmth, he never wanted to let go.

"Well..." John begins again. "I think you and Alex are amazing, successful people. I've only known you both not very long but - I feel like I _have_." Lafayette turns to him looking surprised. "Sorry, it sounds stupid. But thanks for taking me out here... thanks for everything."

Lafayette squeezes his fingers and John does it back. If John is sure, he knows there is this thing between them now where neither are sure if they want to cross it. John could be wrong but he was certain that maybe, Lafayette liked him back too. But it could also just be him showing his acceptance and friendliness towards John. He wasn't sure and it would be weird to ask he felt.

As John whisked his thumb over Lafayette's knuckles, he grabbed Lafayette 's attention and they were staring at each other once more. John was also certain he had caught a glimpse of a tiny smile. He was still fixed under Lafayette's flattered gaze. John wondered if Alex would mind, John is leaning in closer to him and Lafayette doesn't move.

He's waiting it appears. John wanted to, he really did and he's building the courage to, gradually, his heart pounding and Lafayette's hand stiffens a bit. Then all of a sudden a pile of fireworks went 'boom' all at once in the night sky. Tons of them, blasting into the dark night sky and they could both hear the cheering from afar.

It was already New Year.

So John thought what the hell and he dives in to give Lafayette the quickest, smallest kiss he probably has ever had in his life. Then he's moving back from Lafayette like he had just been burnt on a red hot stove. John's eyes are wide, scared and he covers his mouth in shock.

He shouldn't have done that. He just kissed his supposedly boyfriend's husband. What would Alex say? John knew Alex wouldn't be happy at all, after gloating about showing John off to his friends. He wasn't even at the party. Shit, the party.

Lafayette didn't move still, he was stiff as a statue and John was still clasping his mouth. He drops his eyes to the ground, his body feels shaky and John knows if he tries to stand he'll probably topple over.

Despite the fireworks and mumbles of cheering around them, it's too quiet, he has to say something.

"Lafayette" John doesn't even recognise his own voice, it's that silent. "I am so, so sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

Then what shouldn't have happened next, happens. John's eyes draw up when Lafayette leans down to him, he's inching closer and John can't help himself. He can't say no to him. Lafayette makes him feel completely helpless and when he feels those long large hands turn him slightly, their mouths meet again.

The next kiss was a proper kiss, especially when Lafayette made the effort to kiss back. Okay, so they both knew they had a thing for one another. Finally, it was out in the open. Done with. All that frustration and flirting they'd been building up, released. By god it felt wonderful but also terrible.

John knew they were both betraying Alex in some way, kind of but John felt like they needed this, they had to do this. He's swirling his tongue around Lafayette's mouth, his hands shyly pawing on to the sides of Lafayette's cheeks and finally being able to touch his trimmed scruff, it felt amazing. John loved to kiss Alex like this too but both of their kissing skills were different, Alex's were usually hungry and playful, Lafayette's felt more slow and sensual.

Then there was some teasing, Lafayette ended their kiss with a nip on his bottom lip and John released a small moan, his cheeks were on fire as he realised this but he didn't have time to feel embarrassed when Lafayette brought him in for another kiss.

As they broke away this time, still holding each other or well John allowing his hands to drop but Lafayette still kept hold of John's shoulders. Slowly he began to slide them down until his hands went from John's arms to his forearms, then his hands.

Lafayette breathlessly says, "I know you have been watching me." Their breathing quiet, frantic and their emotions sparked with excitement. Both of them could feel it.

"And you've been watching me, Laf, doing the same. Driving me crazy." John confesses and he sniffles. "I like you both."

He smiles at John. John gives a small but breathy laugh. "And I you, John Laurens."

With a pang of confidence, John leans forward again and he's kissing the face of Lafayette. Fast paced kisses, tongue and he's biting Lafayette back on his lip. Lafayette is groaning into the kiss, it's passionate and John is only fuelling a burning desire inside of him. Lafayette eventually has to hop down off the wall, John looked a tad confused and maybe a tinge of hurt when he does. He thinks it's over but he's mistaken when Lafayette moves in front of him, he's got his hands planted on either side of John, he hangs his head a moment before looking up at John. He sighs.

"If I do not have you tonight, I think I may bust". Lafayette says with a little laugh. John flusters and he's automatically wrapping his arms around Lafayette's neck, he brings him closer. In the past month or so John really had learnt a lot from Alex, he had shown John how to make a guy go crazy and John really had learnt from the best. So John leans to Lafayette's ear there, he presses a kiss on the shell on his ear and says, "I live alone, we could go back to my place".

Lafayette liked the sound of that. He enjoyed the teasing invitation in John's tone. They both met each others gaze this time, smirking. Lafayette had no choice but the oblige this needy young man. John Laurens wasn't all that innocent when he wanted to be. John lost his breath when he found his lips caught in another tender embrace. He took that as a 'yes'.

 

* * *

 

John worried that Alex may wonder where they had gone, but Lafayette assured John that Alex would probably be off his ass or flat out by now. Alex apparently got drunk heavily at parties and especially New Year. Lafayette got them both a cab to John's dorm, it was the first time he would be visiting and with John on his lap there on the back seat, the driver cast them a few bizarre stares but neither noticed. They were too roped up with each other and Lafayette didn't think he would be able to wait any longer. The friction between his legs was agonising and John didn't help rutting against him like a sex starved dog in heat.

The complex came into view, once they parked up, Lafayette tossed the driver a dumb amount of money and told him to keep the tip since it was New Year. John rolls his eyes, him and Alex carelessly flung money around like it grew on trees. John had his key in the door, Lafayette on his lips as he was even turning the handle and inside they were. John's cologne still lingering in the room from earlier before he left and it must have turned Lafayette on more because he was taking John by the hips, against the wall and literally pinning him. Lafayette strength was a world of its own, it knocked him out quite a bit.

Growling into their heated kiss and John was trying to shut the door, he locks it with a twist of the latch and that's it. They're alone, properly alone.

After a time of fervent kissing, both of them stilled. John and Lafayette were lay with their foreheads pressed together. They remained silently in this position for several minutes.

Finally, Lafayette drew his head back. He lifted his lips and pressed a soft kiss on John's lips. They both knew what was going to happen, John had flashbacks to the last time he had sex and it hadn't ended well. So before anything he knew he had to tell Lafayette.

"Are you going to fuck me?" John asks, he bites his lip. Lafayette looks so pretty in the dim light of his room he thinks, towering over him, some of his coils curls a bit loose from John fumbling his hands through it hungrily.

Lafayette leans downwards and he's resting his chin on John's shoulder. He whispers something in French with a small giggle and John says, "English Laf, please". Although it does turn John on more hearing that French being whispered huskily to him. Lafayette only laughs some more and he finally says, "I could fuck you, yes little John or I could make love to you."

Making love. John hadn't thought of that when it came to sex most of the time. He was so used to fucking, it was easier to disconnect for a second and not think too much about the feelings. John was used to the quick fucking with his ex-boyfriend Francis he met at the start of the semester. Usually it involved him riding John or John taking him behind. It never usually last long, it was half-assed and just a quick spurt of joy. Nothing special. Alex had brought John's sex life to, well, actual life. John had explored so much more with an older man, Alex set him on fire and so he was curious what Lafayette could bring him to the table.

"Mm, just make me feel good." Was all John could muster up.

Well coats were off, shirts were off and discarded on the floor. John gave a small yelp when Lafayette could pick him up, toss John on his bed and Lafayette was on top of him. Their kissing lasting more than a few seconds until John was telling Lafayette to sit up so that he could work on his jeans. John was practically dying to let his snake out the cage. Lafayette gave him a bit of a hand with his belt, it came off and so did John's. It wasn't like with Alex, Alex loved to have John naked first

Lafayette went along with it, removed clothing the same time John did, he was just as impatient and needy. Even there in the dark, his desk light wasn't that bright but it was the first time John had seen Lafayette properly topless. God, he was sculpted like a greek god, a bit softer on his stomach but for his age he looked amazing. John's hands traced his toned stomach and he let out a small "wow" which only made Lafayette chuckle.

His own physique didn't go unappreciated as Lafayette traces his fingers around his abs, taking them in and he murmurs something in French. John assumed it sounded positive for the most part, so he went with it.

John got on his knees and he's telling Lafayette to lie back on his headboard. He has no idea where this new founded confidence has come from, maybe it was the drink in him, maybe it was how Alex had rubbed off on him or the inner slut inside of John that was raging mad man for cock. One thing was for certain, he was so going to fuck his sugar daddy's husband. Alex had been hinting anyway that Lafayette was interested, day in, day out so perhaps Alex wouldn't mind.

With Lafayette's cock out and his own freely brushing against the bed sheets, John took out a moment to just appreciate it. "Jesus, Laf, that's huge." John heaves out and Lafayette doesn't help when he playfully slaps John's thigh with it. It's big and thick, the type John usually saw in porn. He wasn't sure if he would even be able to take that.

"Is it okay, hm?" Lafayette asks gently.

John drops his gaze and he figures that he best tell Lafayette the truth. "Um, I gotta let you know before anything happens-" Lafayette has his full attention, he's rubbing up and down John's sides. John can feel his thumbs dig into the crease of his 'v line' on his groin, usually the same place Alex likes to toy with. When John doesn't know how to really put it Lafayette cuts in.

"What is wrong?"

With a bit of a nervous laugh, John says, "It's been a while since I've taken. That's all."

Lafayette sounded surprised. "You have not done this with Alexander?"

He shakes his head at Lafayette. "Not yet, we usually just do oral or hand jobs. I just... I want to sleep with you." John put it bluntly. "I want to sleep with you _both_ , it sounds really bad, I get it, but I can't really-" John drops his head a little. "I can't help myself." He finishes and Lafayette brings him closer.

"Can you be gentle? Not too hard, please." John asks him. "It's just that when I first ever did this, it didn't end too well."

Lafayette is frowning. He has an idea of what may have happened but he doesn't push John.

As Lafayette's furrow softened, he leaned back in. Putting his large hands on either side of John's thighs, essentially trapping him. He planted a kiss on the side of John's neck, working himself all the way up to his ear. John issued a slight gasp, when Lafayette nipped at his earlobe, then when he got a reaction he dipped his tongue into John's ear and laughed when he scolded him. But it was a mixture of a laugh and small moan. Alex had done the same to him and John was getting used to it.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" These words and the feel of Lafayette's hot breath sent a wave of chills up John's spine.

With the tearing of a spare condom John had lurking around in his drawer, lubricated fingers of alcohol-scented spit and the fingers in John's asshole, he was on Lafayette's lap without another thought. John averted his eyes and his blush spread from his cheeks all the way down to his ears. He then felt Lafayette's hands gently grasp his shoulders.

He encouraged John to rise, then he took him, and finally settled him properly.

Lafayette positioned John's lean thighs, draping his legs over the outside of his own. It felt strange, comfortable, safe. _Right_.

If that was the right word for John to use.

Wrong, but right.

With Lafayette whispering sweet nothings, all in French into his ear with his hot breath making John's insides tingle with delight before anything had even started.

Lafayette could feel John begin to surrender, relaxing into his chest. Then suddenly John stiffened and his eyes widened. He gasped when a finger circled and then made a gentle inquiry into sweet hole. Then Lafayette inserted one thick finger and began loosening John further.

"Ah... Laf..." He mewled. John shamelessly dug himself down further on Lafayette's two fingers there inside him. He stretched John wide, scissoring him, loosening him all slicked with spit. "More, god, more" John panted.

There was more hot kissing, more tongue and Lafayette whispers against John's mouth, staring into his eyes there in the darkness, "Do you think it is time?"

John tells him yes, he wants to be spoilt. Completely spoilt by Lafayette, there is nervousness bubbling in his gut but John surpasses it. Bravely he's giving Lafayette's cock a might tug and he's getting up on his knees, hovering over it.

There was guidance when John began to slowly, slowly ease himself on to Lafayette. Pained was etched all over his face, at one point Lafayette did worry that this wouldn't work but John was doing well. Lafayette helped Joh hold himself up while this happened, he tried not to make too much eye contact with John incase it put him off. He was still very shy through all this, biting his lip and hunched his shoulders up.

"The condom is lubed, Cheri but you are very tight, and I am…" Lafayette says breathlessly. He didn't expect John to be this tight, good god.

"Huge," John exhaled softly, finishing the sentence.

"Indeed" Lafayette chuckled half self-consciously before adding, "I will not hurt you."

"Just do it!" John so stirred at this point, he didn't think he could stand waiting any longer.

He was surprised then to feel his cheeks parted again and Lafayette's still wet finger slip in and press down. John felt his anxious entrance open in anticipation. John could feel the heavy warmth of Lafayette's saliva filling him, dripping down, for just a moment before hands gripped his lithe hips and he began to push his way in.

This wasn't the first time John had experienced such an action: spit inside him, and yet somehow the sensation was different. Still it was pretty hot.

Anyone would have probably found it slightly degrading, but there was something comforting in what Lafayette had just done, something claiming. This anointing of fluids felt necessary somehow, especially considering Lafayette was wearing a condom, so their joining would be completed without any seminal baptism occurring.

John felt Lafayette's chest meet his own, John reeled into him and his arms locked around Lafayette's neck.

As John pressed himself right down on Lafayette's cock, John soon felt that familiar stretch and burn as Lafayette gradually eased into him. He tried to focus on any other bodily sensation to take his mind off the pain of accommodating Lafayette's significant girth. Between measured breaths, John concentrated on the ache of his thighs from kneeling for so long and closed his eyes again out of embarrassment.

John also forgot just how much this hurt at first but it had been, ages. So long since he'd taken and Lafayette was half his previous partners size. He could feel the sweat rising to the surface of skin, his panting sides and a drop slid down from his brow and joined the tears gathered in the corners of his eyes.

There was guidance when John began to slowly, slowly ease himself on to Lafayette Pained was etched all over his face, at one point Lafayette did worry that this wouldn't work. "Merde..." Lafayette whispers to himself.

It bothered Lafayette that he couldn't see Johns face. It was too dark, he wanted to be able to read it, to know that he was not hurting John too badly.

Fucking for Lafayette had always been more or less a simple act of mechanics. While coming felt great and he was concerned with pleasing his partners. Alex he knew inside and out, he knew Alex's body, what Alex liked and had been fucking Alex for the past ten years. But with John being such a new - addition to their lives, Lafayette didn't know anything about John's body, it was all new, John was much more timid than most he had been with. Fragile, younger. Probably the youngest Lafayette had slept with.

But Lafayette wanted more than to come or to please: he wanted to connect. He wanted somehow, desperately, through this joining of flesh, to demonstrate his feelings for John.

"John" Lafayette called softly. He watched John's lean panting sides intently, listened for any change in breathing, any new gasp or moan. As he slid in further he tried to feel any slight start or quiver.

"You must tell me it is okay. Please do not hide your voice from me."

"I'm fine." John said.

Once John had said this, however, he hung his sweaty head down, Lafayette was just so kind to him. So nice.

"I'm almost all the way... You feel so amazing." Lafayette's voice revealed his awe.

When it all became a bit too quiet, Lafayette grew concerned and started to pull out.

The moment John realized what he was doing, John clenched around the flesh inside him. "Don't! Laf, please, just start moving."

Lafayette was unsure, but he honoured the quiet petition and pressed back in. John exhaled a shaky sigh of relief when he felt Lafayette's sac brush against him as Lafayette eased himself back in.

His motion practised and deliberate, Lafayette began to slowly thrust in a manner designed to bring John the greatest pleasure. As Lafayette was hitching up his hips, he felt John's tension oddly decrease. His own breathing quickened in time to the hiccuping mewls as John continued to adjust.

As he felt the flesh surrounding him respond, Lafayette varied his pace, moving faster, plunging deeper. John felt almost unbearably stretched, simultaneously, he relished the incredible feeling of fullness. Lafayette balls slapped against the skin of his ass with each thrust, repeatedly connecting with his own jiggling sac.

Lafayette heard this soft sound and gave a small laugh. He began, setting a slow easy pace, working his length in and out of John's deliciously tight portal in shallow thrusts, getting the him used to him, to this. It was not long, however, before John started to push back into him, meeting his movements.

John started to whimper and mewl as his tender ass was pounded, filled with Lafayette's strength and heat. Lafayette decided to try something, which was when John was lifting himself up, Lafayette cruelly bucked his hips upwards just as John came down and that must have hit the spot. It earned Lafayette a mixture of a moan and a ragged sob.

John writhed in passion on top of him, pushing back to meet each plunge. Lafayette had him panting, moaning and nearly even on the verge of tears dammit.

Lafayette couldn't fight his control any longer, so with his hands he rolled them right down to the beak of Lafayette's backside and slithered them further so that his hands were resting on both cheeks. Lafayette squeezed them, it wasn't too rough. John's face was priceless.

Soon the only sound in the bedroom was the rewarding slap of flesh and both of their rasping breaths.

"Laf... I think... I'm gonna... I'm g-gonna..." John's usually voice was weighted heavy with pleasure.

It was just so, so deep.

Plunging in and out like _that_.

It felt so raw, thick and juicy.

He could feel the pulsing penetration all the way into his bowels, driving out the hollowness that haunted him. As Lafayette's motions picked up and his cock slid over and pressed against his sweet spot, the burning stretch inside John built and spilled over into pleasure.

"Nnn... shit... Laf!" He cried.

Beneath Lafayette's rampant motion, John's cock were throbbing, it was agonising but that didn't matter as the continuing brush against his prostate, filled his low belly with wave after wave of deep pulsing pleasure.

"Vous vous sentez incroyable" Lafayette heaves into John's ear. John was too far gone to really pay attention to whatever it meant, Lafayett slows his thrusts for a moment before completely hitching his hips upwards, catching John off guard and drills him at a skilful pace and John is left in the dizziness of pleasure.

His whole body sparked with arousal, his lower stomach grilling with an amazing sensation and he couldn't take it anymore. And while John was telling how that he was getting closer. Lafayette's decided to loose himself to his urges and needs since John didn't seem to care anymore either. So he got on with it and fucked him until he had John seeing stars.

John grabbed his weeping dick with his hand, even as Lafayette continued to rock up under him.

As he began to stoke, John felt Lafayette's free hand settle over his own and begin to move with his in tandem. After a few moments of this, John gave such a shattered moan and surrendered, dropping his hand, allowing Lafayette full reign as he skilfully both thrust and stroked.

Feeling himself begin his ascent, John's hand returned to his cock, settling atop Lafayette's He came with a low growl that boiled up from his chest into his throat just as his milky seed did from his erupting cock. John loosed a surprising amount of cum over all the sheets and his low belly.

He felt his seed seep through his fingers, sealing his hand to Lafayette's.

After his release, John collapsed against the broad chest in front of him. Lafayette ceased his motions. He relinquished his hold on John's cock, wrapped both arms around and gathered John tightly to him.

John's inner muscles quivered and clenched as continued tremors shocked his body and Lafayette revelled in the feeling of John tightening around him.

Tipping his head back against Lafayette's shoulder, John eyes closed. His mouth hung slightly open as he continued to pant lightly from the power of his release. John's eyes closed. His mouth hung slightly open as he continued to pant lightly from the power of his release.

Lafayette leaned over to take a look at him and smiled at the sight. Red cheeks and a sweaty forehead with a loose few curls all dishevelled. He pressed his lips against John's neck and whispered, "Do you feel better now?"

"Fuck" John murmurs into Lafayette's sweat glistened skin. "What did we just do?" There is a tint of regret in his voice that Lafayette can sense, he gives John a soothing squeeze before he said, "We both wanted it, Mon cheri."

He bites his lip. "But what about Alex?" John says, yes because now they both remember Alex. Alex who has no idea this has just happened, Alex who John told he could fuck him eventually yet he ended up fucking Alex's man. John sighs. "Did we... do you... is this cheating?"

Lafayette chuckles, John jilts slightly from the laughter coming from his body. "Alexander has confirmed we are in an open relationship, non? It is okay."

John couldn't help but feel guilty, although it was too late now anyway. "Won't he be pissed off?" He could picture Alex getting pissy at him. Shouting why would he do such a thing behind his back, with his husband of all people. John flinched just at the thought alone.

"Perhaps, but it cannot be helped." Lafayette says, he pulls John away from slightly him, as he's holding him up there in his lap. Both facing each other. John has his head down, half of his curls have come loose out their bun and Lafayette takes a strand, he twirls it around his finger. Both Alex and Lafayette found his curls so pretty. As Lafayette lets it go, the curl goes back into its spiral.

Just when Lafayette thought John was going to move out his lap, since John was still quite breathless and wobbly. Lafayette caught him and pulled John close, worried for a moment. He was then surprised when John shuffled around, he was adjusting his thighs on either side of him to get comfy since they were starting to ache. But no where near as his ass was probably going to in the morning. So John scuffled over hovering himself over Lafayette's cock and pushed himself down onto it before moving his hips, continuing to ride him.

John released a small little moan. Fuck, that was good. Wrong but good.

"Can we go again?"

Lafayette only smirked.

 

* * *

 

With the winter sun blaring through the blinds the next morning landing down on John's face it was enough to stir him.

John mewled in his sleep and he turned over lazily. That's when he felt another body pressed up against him and now John was slowly blinking his eyes open, the first thing John witnessed was a hollow ache in his backside. Not that it wasn't to be expected, of course. It was just that John had forgotten until now.

He made a low whimper as he tried moving but realized he couldn't. Lafayette had his arm draped over him underneath the sheets and that was when it all came flooding back. They'd fucked. The pair of them, John had bedded a wedded man. Alex's husband. John's face crumpled into disgrace, he run his hand down his face and then into his hair. He couldn't believe this. John was so stupid.

"Shit" He muttered quietly.

John tried to slip away from him and as he did, Lafayette began to stir he found himself rising back to consciousness, aware that John was wiggling away. Groaning, he allowed him to squirm out of his grasp and lazily rolled over on to his stomach instead.

John looking around, he couldn't remember where he put his phone and that's when he recalled leaving it in his coat pocket. John rose quietly and moved (albeit bit slowly) across the room for his coat on the back of his desk chair. He had to check and see if Alex had text him. And of course Alex had.

 

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

baby boiiiiii omg where r u? i can't find u? hey meet me at the balacony door?

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

honey did u go home? its kl if u did cos i know u hate crowds n stuff n i didnt realise it was guna get this busy :O

 

John's throat tightens. He feels so bad, Alex had wondered where he went. John's eyes darted to Lafayette there fast asleep in his bed. Guilt weighing his stomach down with every text he's reading.

 

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

:( baby boi its almost countdown... i got some friends here who wanna meet u?

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

i hope no 1 has stolen my baby :( noooo ur mine

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

Laf is nowhere 2 be found either? u seen him?

 

"Oh god, what have I done" John whispers to himself. He feels so terrible, Alex really wanted to show him off and John ran off with his husband. Alex no doubt wanted them both with them during the countdown too.

 

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

its almost time honey! :) wel wherever u are i hope ur havin funnnnnnn

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

HAPPY NEW YEAR! <3 <3 <3 Baby boi i really wish u n laf were here :( i got no kisses! but u can make it up to me later aint that rite ;)

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

PS. ur sucking daddy's cock under daddy's desk while daddy works next time ur here... for an _hour_. ur so naughty! and ur not replying to daddy... hmmm

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

John, is everything okay?

 

That last text. John sighs and he wants to hit his head against the wall. He's such an idiot. Alex was probably worried. With that John is walking back over to the desk and Lafayette is still asleep. It's early, not even eight yet but Lafayette needs to go. As much as John wanted him to stay there in his bed, have another round of passionate mind-blowing fucking together, he couldn't. Lafayette needed to get home to his husband and see if Alex was okay.

So John is shaking Lafayette on his shoulder roughly. "Laf, hey, Laf" John says. Lafayette is stirring, he doesn't look pleased to be awakened but it was tough shit. John needed him gone, this never happened.

"Lafayette!" John practically shouts. This time Lafayette does hear him and he's opening his eyes, the light doing him no justice and he's rubbing them. Lafayette mutters something in French but John shakes him again. He needs him to wake up quicker.

"Mon cheri, what is it?" Lafayette all but yawns. He's trying to shit up but fails and he's lay back down again. John rolls his eyes, he's getting stressed out. With Lafayette gone and John gone it didn't look good at all. Alex probably texted Lafayette a dozen times to see where he was too.

"You need to get home to Alex" John says and he's already Lafayette's clothes off the floor. Lafayette manages to sit up and he's watching John like a man possessed before John pushes all his stuff on his lap. Lafayette heaves a sigh, he is still half asleep but John can tell he's irritated and not from sleep either.

"Do you regret last night?" Lafayette asks him. John watches Lafayette take out his phone from the pocket of his jeans. He's flicking through, John assumes he's reading the texts from Alex. He is because Lafayette is shaking his head at his phone. "He worries too much."

John is already slipping on his briefs and he's taking a seat on the edge of the bed. He winces as he does and John frowns at Lafayette trying to hold in his smile, as he looks over his phone at him. "It's not funny" John hisses, Lafayette raises his brow, John's ratty mood surprised him. "Yes, I do. We shouldn't have... done that. To make shit worse, Alex was probably on his own during the countdown. We left him and he's going to..." John couldn't even finish what he wanted to say. He felt ashamed.

Lafayette leans over to him and places a hand on John's back but John shrugs it away. Lafayette's face pitched with slight hurt and so he withdraws away from John.

"He was not alone, Alexander was with Washington, his boss. He wrote it in this text." Lafayette flashes John his phone. "Read them all, he is fine, cheri." As Lafayette tries to give John his phone, John turns away from him. Lafayette nods to himself, he gets it. "Okay, so where do we go from here?"

John shrugs. He had no idea. "You tell me, Laf."

Lafayette sighs again and this time a little bit more impatient with John. He's tired of his childishness. "John Laurens-"

"It's John, _stop_ calling me by my last name." He snaps and Lafayette's head tilts to the head. He shuts his eyes for a second to keep himself at peace.

"John," He begins calmly. "Alexander would understand, I think he would be delighted if he knew we consummated. He is very fond of you John, as am I."

He turns to Lafayette with a face of shock. "Are you being for real?"

He scoffs. Actually scoffs at John. "Yes I am! This is not a game." Lafayette finally barks back and he tosses his phone down there between his legs. He leans against the headboard, runs his hand over his head, some of his coiled curls have come loose and Lafayette begins to adjust them. "You are involving yourself in a marriage, I am not hiding a thing from Alexander. You are aware that we are _both_ open to the prospects of you being a part of our lives John Laurens."

John looked at him like he had lost the plot. "It wouldn't... it wouldn't work." He says weakly.

"It can John-"

"It _can't -_ no you can't tell him!" 

"Why? Why must it be a secret?!"

Then John spits out, "Because Alex is the last good thing I have in my miserable life!" Lafayette is the one to appeared shocked now. He looked at John with sympathy this time, he knew John had it rough growing up from what Alex told him, only in snippets.

Alex made him happy and Lafayette, oh god he knew just how happy John made him. John made Lafayette feel the same way. John was special, different to the partners Alex and him had been with before. He could even see John being a solid part of their lives if he allowed it to happen. 

But Lafayette tries again and he's calling John's name, pleading almost. Yet still John didn't want to hear any more of it. "This was a mistake, Laf." He says. The pained look on Lafayette's face slowly faded and it fell blank when John finally said, "Please, just don't tell Alex."

Lafayette arched an eyebrow at him as if he couldn't believe what he was truly hearing.

"He can't know..." John begged. 

Then Lafayette looked murderous. John's stomach was in knots and although he didn't want to, he had to hurt Lafayette. "No one needs to know".

Get him to forget about all this. It was just a fling. With that John was looking away from him, darting his attention back to his phone. John pretended to aimlessly flick through his messages.

"You can let yourself out".

John had never seen anyone move to fast. Lafayette huffily threw off the bed sheets, got back into his clothes, grabbed his phone and John was waiting for the door to slam shut, but it didn't. Lafayette was stood by it lingering, thinking of words to say but he didn't and it closed gently.

As soon as it did, John flopped on his bed and yanked his pillow from the top where he planted his face into it. He screamed and bashed it with his fists because fuck everything. Once John calmed himself down after a tantrum he heard his phone 'ping'. With the energy he had left, John reached over for it and his heart sank when he saw the green bubble on his screen.

 

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

Morning cutie pie ;)

 

John remained lying there, just staring blankly, almost brain-dead at the text until the screen went blank. Then what caught John's eyes next was the glimmering on his finger from the little ring Alex had gifted him, there in the sun light.

Almost as if it were reminding him.

He knew he'd broke his promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> French translations:
> 
> *Laisse-moi prendre ton manteau pour toi = Let me take your coat for you  
> *Merde! = Shit!  
> *Vous vous sentez incroyable = Let me make you feel amazing
> 
> OKAY.
> 
> SO YES. 
> 
> JOHN FUCKED (LAF) UP.
> 
> If it isn't money John wants, it's dick and he got it. Good.
> 
> This story has taken a turn but it will come together... I promise! There will be a happy ending. But Laf and John just have this chemistry, they like each other a hell of a lot since day 1 and Alex kinda knows they got the hots for each other, but little John here is shitting himself incase he's fucked up their marriage and he's just insecure anyway ;( 
> 
> Thank you for all the love on the story and kudos! I appreciate it a lot :) x


	9. NEW YEAR, NEW START

John was glad that Lava Java was closed for another week, it meant not having to move out of his dorm, living in his warm bed, ordering Dominoes and Panda Express all while avoiding the busy outside world. But mostly it meant he could avoid Alex's face.

He hadn't picked up Alex's calls or really text Alex back much since New Years day. It was day five now, though John had text Alex back right after Lafayette had left just to confirm everything was fine, he lied and said he didn't feel well at all so he went back home.

It was total bullshit, but John wasn't going to tell Alex, that he'd fucked his husband. Not only rent was due despite it sounding awful and other bills needed to be paid, John needed the money, he couldn't have Alex cut him off. But it wasn't even just about money, he genuinely did like Alex and John worried he may like Alex too much. John usually fell easily for guys, which annoyed him to high heaven and he didn't want to fall in love. Not again, not after his cheating ex-boyfriend Francis.

There was too much loss in John's life and Alex giving him the boot would only add to it. So John swore to himself that he could only play along with Alex, not fall for him and give him what he wants as a sugar baby. Keep him happy and keep out of Lafayette's way. Of course, John knew Alex would include Lafayette in whatever they were doing, it wasn't going to be easy, but John could always ignore him or plead to Alex he wanted them to be alone. If John could scrape enough money to last him another whole two years, then that would be cool, he could let Alex down easily and say goodbye.

That way no one gets hurt.

John does make it up to Peggy, Eliza and Angelica though. He takes them all downtown for a meal, they go shopping and see a movie. Peggy sticks around with John for a while longer, they're walking around a department store arm in arm. Peggy always wanted to link John's arm, they were besties of course. John didn't feel like he'd been a good friend though.

Peggy's taking a long drag of her chocolate brownie milkshake. "Peg, have you ever made a big mistake, like one where you just think it'll ruin everything?" John says out the blue. Peggy looks up at him with a frown, she looks cute John thinks with these big geek chic style glasses on and her curls bouncing around her face.

Sometimes Peggy was just too adorable and John knew if he was a straight man, it would be so much easier to just date her instead. Of course John had Martha but she was hundreds of miles away back home, Peggy was the only one where who knew him, she always had his back and understood him.

Peggy made everything better.

"John, one minute we're taking about Rick and Morty then you randomly, bring up something weird? I mean who does that-"

John chuckles at her. "I do, Peg. So like, have you?"

"Huh?" She goes.

And John rolls his eyes at her. "Made a big fucking mistake, god Peg keep up." She gives him a nudge in his side, John whelps and they both giggle. There is a few people staring at them in the store but they pay them no mind. Peggy leans her head back, she's thinking on it.

"Hmm, well, not really. My life usually consists of shopping, eating crap, studying, shopping..." John sighs at her. God, she reminded him of those two. Always spending ridiculous amounts of money on either food or clothes. John had a feeling if Peggy and Alex met they'd get along just great.

Then John had to ask her, he knew it would probably sound a bit rude and intrusive but he did anyway. Peggy wouldn't mind. "Don't you ever get bored of just shopping and eating out?"

She looked up at him, taking another sip of her milkshake and looked away. They were heading into Forever21 it seemed. "Not really, I mean I've grown up here in the city and my family have money, like it's always been something I've done. Guess I don't know any different."

That was true. Then John remembered Alex telling him he had grown up in New York too but Alex originally started out with no money, foster home to foster home and had a rough upbringing. Consuming filled a void for both Alex and Peggy. John thought honestly that it was kind of sad.

"Why you asking anyway?"

John shrugs, he could tell her what had happened but it was best not. She would only scream at him for fucking a married man, his sugar daddy's husband. It was already weird the situation he was in anyway.

Then Peggy unravels her arm from his as soon as she spots some awful baby pink crop top. It's got "U OK HUN?" on it and John shakes his head at Peggy as soon as she put it against her. "Because you spend dumb amounts of cash - and you're about to buy that, aren't you?" John says unimpressed.

Peggy is smirking, with that as his answer John decides to say nothing else on the matter, then he turns from her and he's walking elsewhere. "I'll be in the guys section".

John didn't really want to go into Forever21, he doesn't like shopping and the irony of having a sugar daddy at his finger tips too. Most students would probably kill for Alex dishing them thousands to spend on random crap. But John isn't like that, he doesn't care about having things. He just wants the important things like gas, water and electric paid for. A place to live rather than a new pair of jordans.

But what John wanted more was to rewind time and go back to New Years Eve. Allow Lafayette to take him for a walk but never kiss him, never give Lafayette the time of day and leave it be. It had been difficult to resist him though, John sighed to himself. Lafayette had this thing about him, an aura that lightened up the room and the way he looked at John, it always filled him to the brim with butterflies. Lafayette had been a flirt from the get go, John had been the poor sucker to fall for him. They really didn't lie when they said French men are the best lovers out there either.

As much as John regretted it with Lafayette, it had been sensational. John actually found himself comfortable with Lafayette, most importantly made him feel safe, Lafayette hadn't hurt him. Plus he gave John the best sex he probably will ever have in his pitiful life. How John would ever face the man again was going to be a mystery.

Once John is by the mens aisles, he's making a poor attempt at browsing through some of the shirts. He doesn't really appreciate any of them, everything wasn't his taste and John is pulled away from his little browse when he feels his pocket vibrating.

He assumed it was his boss or Hercules letting them know that Java Lava would be opening earlier than they thought. He grabs out and John's eyes widen when he sees Alex's name there on the screen. Every time Alex text or called him John's heart did a little back-flip in fear. Usually Alex had been calling him more and John knew it was about he hadn't been speaking.

Before anything John looked around to see if Peggy was lurking, she wasn't thankfully but John walked off into a small corner surrounded by rails where it was quieter, he would be out of sight there. He took a deep breath before pressing the 'accept' button and hoped that this would go down well.

"Hey, John, you there?"

Well of course he was. "Hi daddy" John says in a light voice, in the hope to start off on the right path.

There was a slight pause and John's heart went into racing mode. Alex knew, fuck he knew.

"Don't you 'hi daddy' me. Are you avoiding me?"

Ah, so that was it. John leant against the wall there, he focused on the designs of some dodgy Batman t-shirts. "I'm not avoiding you" He said weakly. Another lie, he _was_ avoiding them.

"Are you sure? Cos I've sent you text after text, I've tried to call you." Alex heaves a sigh down the line. John fiddles with his fingers. "Look, has something happened?"

He didn't understand why Alex kept pushing him. "I've already said, I wasn't feeling well that night at the party. I had to go." He said defensively.

"I know that, honey, that's totally fine, but you're not talking to me much." Guilt was back again, creeping up on John, he felt terrible knowing Alex was worrying.

"Alex" John says and he's looking around hectically, he needs to brew up another excuses, another lie. God he hated it. "Martha, my little sister, she said it all went really bad at home during New Year. Just family stuff. I've just been kinda down. I'm sorry I've not been in touch Alex." He rambled, it didn't sound convincing enough. Alex was far from dumb either.

There was another pause. "Really? God, honey, that's awful." John blew out a little sigh of relief, Alex was buying it. "What happened?" And his stomach was back in knots, Alex was so nosey.

"Just stuff... arguments. Stuff like that." John couldn't lie to save his life.

"With who?"

This was ridiculous. "Alex" John groans. "I can't really speak right now, I'm out with Peg and she's calling me over-"

"Oh, okay. Where are you?"

No, no, no. Alex wanted to find him didn't he. John began walking out of the aisle, worried, nervous. "Does it matter? We're almost done anyway, so I'll be-"

"Forever21, 1540 Broadway, alright, cool, got it. Stay right there baby boy."

John's eyes went to their widest. John actually did a quick check on his phone to see if Alex put a tracking device in it or something. "How do you even know where I am?!"

"That's the problem with you kids and Instagram, you're all glued to it." John quickly remembered Peggy taking a selfie of them earlier before they entered the store. She must have tagged him. John can hear Alex's chuckling down the phone, clearly he was enjoying this. "I'm not too far away though, I'm still out actually. I'll come meet you honey."

"Ah no, Alex, you really don't have to."

"Why John? I want to, seriously, this is getting-"

He didn't want to but John put the phone down on Alex. He felt so bad and Alex was immediately ringing him back. John had to find Peggy and he told her that he had to go. She looked confused and asked John if he was okay, John didn't look fine at all. He was shaky and he felt like another panic attack may occur.

So he hugs her goodbye and quickly he's out the whole department store like a flash of lightening. There was a cab right there, as soon as he got out and John jumped in it. He gave the driver instructions to just take him home instead of facing the music with Alex.

 

* * *

 

As soon as John got back to his dorm he felt the weight lift off him. He couldn't believe Alex was attempting to meet him and probably give him a good grilling infront of everyone knowing he had fucked his husband. Alex probably would have too, he doesn't care who is around, Alex would go off on anybody in public. John can't handle that, he's too afraid, too weak and his anxiety was already getting worse as it is. Alex hadn't stopped calling him since he got back and the texts turned angry.

 

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

I'm stood outside of Forever21? I've been inside to find you, no John. Okay, so now I look like an idiot.

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

Don't do this to me honey.

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

I feel like a joke. Like a FUCKING idiot. Why would you do this to me? I've been so, so good to you. Probably better than half the little fuckers you've dated in the past.

 

John is on his bed hunched up under the sheets, he wants to cry, he hated doing this to Alex.

 

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

Are you gonna just keep on ignoring me? :/

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

I don't know what I've done to deserve this.

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

I've had enough.

 

Alex has had enough of him? So that was it then, John thought. Alex was getting rid of him. He probably knew about Lafayette and him going behind his back anyway. John knew Alex hated being ignored, he didn't like not having attention. He was needy, a clingy person and once he found someone he liked, Alex usually stuck by them. John remembered Alex telling him when they first met - yes, when they first met because Alex was just Alex.

That he had attachment issues, abandonment issues and it stemmed from when he was a kid. Not to mention that Alex got told when growing up he had mild case of ADHD too. John hardly noticed for the most part.

He sniffled and curled up in his sheets, hugging them over his head, closing his eyes. Alex tried to ring again and this time John switched off his phone. Then launched it on his drawer, not caring if it shattered apart. He was sick of the stupid thing.

John fell into a light doze, the soothing hue of the traffic from the neighbourhood swayed him to sleep. He felt warm, his breathing was back to normal now and he felt settled. Until there was three thuds on his door.

His stomach was back to swelling up again and John buried his face in his pillow. He already knew who it was.

"John!"

There it was.

Alex was over and John knew he wouldn't go away until he'd opened the door. "Fuck sake" John muttered to himself, Alex was banging on the door again.

"I know you're in there!"

With a sigh, John knew he didn't have any choice. His neighbours would only be moaning if he didn't get Alex to shut up and Alex having too much time on his hands, would only stand out and wait all night long. He tosses over the sheets, grabs a spare t-shirt and throws it on.

"Open the door! I'm not leaving!"

Grouchy, and cold, John even grabbed his throw and hauled it over his shoulders. He went over to the door, unlocked it and before he opened it, John prayed this would go well. He was so in for it now.

Opening the door revealed a ratty, disheveled looking Alexander. He was blank faced, but he was pissed off. John could see it in his eyes, that slight frown of his eyebrows. Alex looked tired and it must be raining too. All his hair in his loose bun was soaked and the little stray pieces at the front were clung to his face.

John dropped his gaze and he chews his lips. He moves aside to let Alex in and so Alex barges in like he owns the place. John's closing the door slowly, fearful of what is about to go down and he turns to watch Alex peel off his soaked jacket.

"How did you know I was home?" John knew it was a dumb thing to ask but he was quite curious.

Already Alex was throwing up his coat there on its usual hook he used whenever he was over. As he was unravelling his red scarf, John felt like the silence was eating away at him. Alex was never this quiet. "So?" John began, he had to try and get the ball rolling. Initiate a bit of will to show Alex he wasn't a complete asshole, well John was, he really was.

Then Alex turned to him, he's standing there with that same expression on his face.

"Alex?" John calls softly.

Despite them being near the same height, Alex who was probably only an inch taller was still able to make John feel tiny. He storms over to him there in the doorway and John fears the worst. Alex is going to either beat the hell out of him for sleeping with Lafayette or - well he doesn't know. He backs up against the door as Alex comes forward and flings his arms around him.

"Alex?" He says again, it's muttered into Alex's damp hair and John reels in his scent. That same almond spiced scent of his. Alex's smell. It's heavenly, warm and John's nerves settle.

"Why did you do that?" Alex asks him quietly.

John's clinging to him and Alex tightens the embrace. "I haven't seen you since New Years Eve! Oh my god, what the fuck John." He's pulling away from John to have a good at him, Alex looked torn and John wondered if it was because of anything Lafayette may have said. John's eyes drop at the thought of Lafayette, he can't look Alex in those pretty big brown eyes of his. They were so trusting, something John wasn't. "Honey, can you at least try to look at me?"

It's difficult but John does. Gradually.

"I'm really sorry, Alex." John practically whispers. Alex frowns again. "I shouldn't have done what I did. It was wrong of me."

Alex was just staring at him for a moment, he squeezed John's upper arm before he moved in, John against the door and he's pressing a kiss to his lips. Passionately and John kisses him back. He wants to make it up to Alex, somehow, he didn't know but perhaps it's time they move further from their usual. Maybe giving himself to Alex would be one way, the first step to putting things right.

Between kisses, Alex says, "You're so bad - ignoring - me - five - fucking - days." Leaving John completely breathless, they take a moment out where Alex and John are just holding one another. John realises he's still against the door, he's looking over to his bed and all the crumpled sheets. His throw is swimming around his ankles still.

"Lets get out of the doorway, it's cold stood-" But Alex is shaking his head, he won't let go of him. John chuckled. "Alex, come on, let go for a sec."

"No, not letting you run off again." He mutters into the crook of John's neck.

John feels awful, Alex thought he was going to leave again. Yet they were in the same room. "Daddy, I'm not going anywhere." He says in a small voice, John rummages a hand through Alex's scalp, causing his bun to loosen slightly. "Not leavin' you" And he presses a kiss against the side of Alex's head.

With their mouths still in a lingering kiss, John has to pull away first and he takes Alex's hand, guiding him through the room to his bed. John at least changed the sheets since Lafayette was last over. He wasn't that filthy and shameless to keep them on. Usually John would push Alex down for a bit of fun but this time, John sat down first and pulled Alex down along side.

"You gonna tell me then?" Alex finally says after what felt like forever.

John gives him a puzzled look. "What?"

Alex turns to him, he's giving John a little push in his shoulder. "Why you bailed at the party?"

Oh that. John sighed. "I had... I had a panic attack." That he wasn't lying about. Alex stared at him like he'd gone mad, he genuinely looked shocked, then he's rubbing John's arm up and down from where he' just shoved him.

"Wait, you had a panic attack?" Alex repeated, clearly sounding concerned.

He hated telling people about his panic attacks and anxiety. When John first got his job at Java Lava he had told his boss, at least it got him out of serving people. Only Peggy and Martha knew about them. Plus, Lafayette now too.

"Yeah, I get them when it's kinda busy. Like too many people, it can feel like I can't breathe." John focused his attention to his socked feet instead of Alex's judging brown eyes.

"Wait, how did I not know about this?!" Alex cried, he's turning John back to him and he's grabbing his other arm. "Honey, you should have told me you hated busy places! All this time I've been dragging you to them. I just thought you were socially awkward!"

John groaned. "I am socially awkward!" He retorted. "I have panic attacks too! I can't help it."

"You still should have told me, I wouldn't have invited fuck knows how many people over on New Years Eve. But to be honest, me and Laf didn't know they were going to invite half the company." Alex said, ending with a sigh. "It was a fuckin' mess the day after, you should've seen it. Laf came home-" John's stomach dropped. "Now usually we would clean, but it was so bad that we actually got a cleaning service in instead." Alex said and he lay back on the bed.

Lafayette came to John's mind. John was curious to ask about him but maybe asking would cause him to slip up.

"Are you okay? Baby, you look terrified." Alex furrowed his brow, he perked himself up there on his elbows just staring at John.

John knew he could tell the truth right now, maybe receive a good punch in-between and have his allowance cut off, but there would be no more worries then. He could go about his life peacefully. He nodded, it was an unsure type of nod and Alex leant a hand over to soothe John's lower back. "Next time you have one of them panic attacks, you tell me. Got that?"

He turns his head away with another nod. So Alex lightly smacked his back there, John turned to him. "Are you listening?" He said sternly. "Honey, I'm trying to help. You keep looking away and avoiding me. I can't help you if you're being like this."

"Being like what?" John shot back.

Alex threw a hand over his face. He shook his head. "Like a brat!"

Eventually John spat, "You keep pushing me, Alex. Maybe if you had been around instead of _abandoning_ me, I wouldn't have freaked out and left." Alex looked at him like he'd just been slapped and he sat up, obviously getting ready to spit fire of his own. "You just went off, I couldn't find you."

Alex looked as if he were about to really go off at John but he stops. He bites his lip and he turns his head. "I'm sorry, honey. I'm really fucking sorry."

It isn't Alex who should be sorry John thinks.

"You know how I am with people, I get talking and that's it I'm hooked, away with the fairies." Alex sighs. Then he goes quiet for a moment, staring into space before he places his attention back to John. "It's just... you know Laf, he used to suffer from panic attacks so badly." Oh, John knew that alright. Lafayette had told him.

"Really?" John tries to act surprised.

Alex is staring at him like a hawk. His brown eyes warm but sharp. "Yeah, when he left college, used to get them fuckin' terrible. He got over them eventually."

Good for Lafayette John thinks. Then Alex is nearing closer to him and he's pressing a small kiss on John's cheek, then rests his head on John's shoulder. John brought Alex in, he's tousling his hair and kissing Alex back. "I'm sorry I ignored you".

They're kissing again, Alex smiles into the kiss now knowing everything was just dandy and John is trying to block Lafayette out his mind. He breaks away, then scrambles for the fly on Alex's jeans. Alex leans back for a moment, allowing John to take the lead for a change. "Don't worry, daddy. I'll make it up to you".

"You better" Alex says playfully. "You owe me little one."

John's lips hold a ghost of a sexy smirk but inside he was screaming. He got off Alex's jeans since he assumed they were going to fool around. Alex slid out of his shirt while John got on his knees there on the floor between Alex's legs. It was time to pay the piper for the pants he decided to unbuckle.

He's infront of Alex with a pout and John was going to hold it together. John slips down Alex's briefs then takes out Alex's cock and just because, he licks his lips, Alex is watching him and he know it'll turn him on. So he bites his lip as he gives Alex an teasing glance and then looks back at it. They'd done this before but every time they hooked up John couldn't deny he was thrilled to have Alex's cock down his throat. Despite the circumstances.

Alex growled deep in his throat and leaned his head back. "Aw god, that's it. Take all of daddy's cock, you naughty little slut." The lush velvet warmth of John's tongue, the sensation of his oral attentions was always fulfilling for them both, it was indescribably hot. Alex watched over his heaving belly as John did his business. As John took Alex's cock into his mouth, swirling his agile tongue just barely over its slit.

"Fuck!" gasped Alex as John's skilled mouth went to work, starting with his sensitive tip. Then John slid his mouth further down his rigid length, at the same time, he groped a feel of his balls and gently massaged them. "That's it, come on kitten, show daddy how you really take it. Gonna have to make it up to me, know that? You got a lot of making up to do. You've been real, real fuckin' bad." Alex smirked at John, squinting his eyes and John's stomach ties in knots. He worried Alex knew but John kept going, he had to ignore it. Alex always spoke dirty when they did this.

"Faster honey, goddamn, you gotta take Daddy quicker than that kitten." Alex croaked, his grip on John's curls tightened and John winced over Alex's cock in his mouth. It wasn't too bad but Alex was in the mood for rough. Too rough. "Fuck, that's right. Take it like a champ."

John grabbed Alex's hips and slid him down so that his ass was right on the edge of the bed. He bobbed his head up and down working his tongue with its own little wonders around this incredibly thick hot in his mouth.

It wasn't anything new since Alex was quite decent himself, but it always excited John whenever he gave Alex head. John could only wonder what Lafayette's dick would have been like down his throat. The guy had a cock from the gods, all that was missing from it was pair of wings and a halo. It was too thick and too big probably to take. But John wondered.

"That's right honey, you eat that cock right up." John bobs his head more, Alex's tip hitting right at the back of his throat and it was going fine until Alex hitched his hips up when John was going back down. John coughed, spluttering and Alex grabbed a handful of his head. A little bit roughly.

"You makin' it up to me? Gotta do better than that. Gotta try harder, Daddy doesn't think you're really trying at all," Alex sang. He chuckled naughtily and hitched his hips up again, John coughed and choked but he kept going.

"Are you truly sorry?" Alex huffed. John made a muffled 'mph' sound, Alex was guessing it was probably a 'yes' but he wasn't too sure. "Hm, now really. Don't know if you are sorry. Makin' daddy run around for you, all around the damn city, you ignored daddy, put your phone down on daddy -" With another hitch of the lips, John hacks again and Alex is yanking on his hair. It was far too brutal this time, John winced. "Then you have the audacity to _lie_ -" Wait. John's eyes pinged open.

But what made John want to stop was when Alex next said.

 

"Are you sorry for fucking Laf?"

 

Wait.

 

What.

 

John felt his heart stop. His throat tightened and it wasn't from the beating of Alex's dick either.

Immediately John's eyes widened to their fullest and he stopped. Completely stopped, as if on cue Alex let go on his handful of hair all while he slipped Alex's cock out his mouth, still spluttering and hacking up Alex's pre-cum there on the floor.

It probably looked vile but John couldn't care less right now, he was numb all over. From head to toe. What made it all worse was how Alex leaned forward. He's got his eyes pinned right on John like he was prey. John couldn't look at him, he kept his eyes on the cum-spit mixture on his carpet.

"You think he wouldn't tell me?" Alex hisses. John was still coughing there, but Alex didn't budge to even give him a pat on the back. "Let's start from the beginning, shall we honey. Why were you avoiding me?"

So he knew then. This was it.

"Alex" John rasps, he's trying to get his breathing back on form properly. Alex is slipping his briefs back on and he's just glaring at John as he waits. "I can explain"

With a heaved sigh through his nose Alex said, "Get up here, jesus." John knows he's been caught out, he lazily just rubs in the mess on the floor with his ankle and he's climbing back up on the bed.

When John sat back up he hung his head shamefully. Alex was glaring at him. "Why didn't you just tell me?" He says to John, he doesn't sound too angry, mostly disappointed.

As the silence continued, it wound Alex up more.

"John, you _have_ to start talking. You can't keep hiding away, Laf told me you both fucked. He came home in such a damn mood too, like, what the hell John!" Alex spat."And you told him not to tell me, why?" Alex pressed, completely annoyed.

Then he nudges John's thigh with his own. Alex was always pushing, he was relentless and always wanted answers. John was the type to hide and shy away, he hated how cowardly he could be sometimes.

"Speak to me!"

Clearing his throat, John threw his head back moodily. Obviously sick of Alex and said, "I was scared, okay? I told him not to because I was scared you'd kill me"

Alex's jaw dropped. He gave John such a hurt look. "Y'know what-" He starts. John looks to him in the corner of his eye, he can feel his palms become sweaty. "I actually want to kill you more, for telling my own husband to lie to me! John, rule number one, you _don't_ lie. Ever. Honey, I can't have that."

Snappily John says, "What, like, you didn't when we first met?" Alex's face turns into confusion.

"The hell does that mean?" He hisses back.

"You never said you were married at the beginning-" John snarks but Alex cuts right over him. If John wanted a bitch fest then he's got one.

"And I told you, I did tell you! I never lied to you." Alex barked with narrowed eyes. John looked away from him which hurt more. That casual roll of the eyes thing John had a habit of doing, a lazy teenage boy trait and Alex was going to have him grow out of it even if it killed him. "Stop with that, you're 21. Stop rolling your goddamn eyes every time you hear something you don't like."

John was now scowling, he knew Alex was right. He was being childish, John could feel tears burning at his eyes. "Don't ridicule me, Alex." John muttered. His voice shaky, he wasn't going to cry. He wasn't. But John knew he was such an idiot, he'd caused all this hell. No one else, just him.

But Alex's wrath didn't stop either, he had to keep going until John was at the very edge. "I'm not! You're the one who keeps acting like a child." Alex said. "And y'know, if you got your head out your ass and thought back to what I told you about me and Laf, our marriage, you may remember I said we were in an open marriage. I don't care who Laf fucks".

John's scrunches his face up and hisses, "What and say 'I fucked your husband' Alex is that you want?"

"Well it would be a lot better than you sitting here feeling sorry for yourself!" Alex snaps back and he slams his fist down in the space between them. It evidently scares John because he's flinching.

Alex runs a hand over his face, he messed up. His temper was showing, a side of him that Alex never wanted to reveal to John. He shouldn't have done that. "Fuck, baby. I'm sorry." Alex knows about what went down with John and his father, how Henry Laurens tried to attack him. That was the last thing John needed. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

John closes his eyes, hoping to get Alex out his head but it doesn't work. This whole thing is a mess. "Dammit, look at me!" and Alex is reaching for John's hand, he's squeezing it and John opens his eyes finally. Alex is swirling his thumb around the ring he'd gifted John.

"I thought you would be angry with me," John finally says, his voice croaked and Alex melted. "I just thought by staying away, blocking you both out would help. I'm just so sorry, I shouldn't have - I'm sorry."

Of Course Alex couldn't stay mad at him for long.

"Honey, god. C'mere". With that Alex is balling his eyes and he's moving in to hold John. John tries to push him away, he feels terrible for what he's done but Alex is adamant on pulling John into a hug and he does. He's curled up in Alex's chest. "What happened, happened. I could already kinda tell you both had a thing for each other. You couldn't keep your eyes off him when you both met."

John wanted to die with embarrassment. Alex knew. "You saw..."

"Nothing gets past me," Alex says smugly and he presses a loving kiss on John's forehead. "Laf has a thing for the shy type or anyone with curly hair and tan skin. Oh yeah, god, when we got home that night after you left us in a cab." John looked up at Alex now that he'd found the courage. "He started pissing himself with excitement, thought you were the cutest thing ever. Said he liked you already."

It did light up the situation but John felt awful still. "He even got a bit jealous you know" Alex chuckled.

Then John averted his gaze when Alex's eyes met his. Suddenly feeling self conscious. "I just didn't want to hurt you Alex and I sorta did."

Alex ruffles his curls soothingly on John's scalp, then he went from twirling one of them around his finger and letting it spring back to its coil. Alex shrugs. "Im not hurt honey, in fact I'm glad that you both are into each other. It will make things... more interesting." John didn't miss that devious tone in Alex's voice and he's eyeing Alex. "I'm just bummed you would tell Laf to lie to me, then make up a pack of shit about your family arguing, leave me stranded in the mall and get pissed on by the rain."

Oh god, yeah, because John had dashed off once Alex went looking for him. He almost forgot about that. John stared into space and bit his lip. Damn.

"Alex" John calls gently. Alex just lets out an 'mm' against his head. Then John lets out a breathy giggle. "You can be pretty scary when you want to be."

Because Alex actually could. John didn't expect him to expose himself like that at all. Alex holds John tighter and rocks him a little. He doesn't really say anything to that and John assumes, Alex knows he was perhaps a bit too hard on him.

After a few minutes of just holding one another, as nice it was, John broke the silence and he's staring back up at Alex longingly. "Can you stay?"

"Is that what you want?"

John moved in for a kiss and as they broke away, he nodded.

And so Alex stayed.

 

* * *

 

 

With Alex lay there on his back. One arm bent and tucked up, his head resting in the palm of his hand. The other arm was draped around John's shoulders. He lay on his side, resting in the nest of Alex's arm; his head pillowed by one of Alex's soft pecs. It was late now. John had stuck on Die hard for them both on his laptop, while he was in and out of dosing.

It felt better now that his secret was exposed - well not really since Alex already knew. But it didn't rid the guilt and John still worried for the future. He was still debating on just using Alex for his money, do what a sugar baby does and then end the relationship. Alex may be here now but it won't always be like this John thought.

Rather than get hurt, again or hurt Alex and Lafayette again. As much as he liked being with them, as much as they made him feel whole in a weird way. John couldn't stay with them forever. Nothing lasted forever because in the end, everyone always leaves.

Alex was still wide awake, eyes concentrating on the movie, John saw as he looked up and he darted his eyes back the screen. He was fed up.

"You must've seen this movie a dozen times..." John mutters, sounding clearly bored.

Nope, he wasn't going to get hurt in this relationship. After seeing what drama he had caused between Alex and Lafayette, John wasn't going to be held accountable. Maybe he was a play thing, a toy for rich bored men. They both probably thought he was a joke now.

And he sighs, John never really liked Die Hard that much if he was honest.

"Still a good'un honey" Alex chuckles.

But rent, electricity, gas and water weren't going to pay for themselves. Maybe he could gather enough money up to last him a good couple of years so he could go freelance. John was thinking of the other possibilities Alex could give him for the future, so when John did come to bidding Alex bye-bye at least he had cash in the bank. Also he wouldn't have to go back home to his horrible father. So John decides he may as well just start doing what Alex initially proposed to him when they first met. To actually start giving back, to dish out the sugar.

The fingers of John's one hand trailed slow, sticky circles around Alex's nipple, then slipped further down his side to graze along the ridges of his ribs. Always thinking in terms of text, John's fingertips traveled over the page of Alex's body, a braille masterpiece he never got tired of reading.

It was either now or never. John turns so he's smiling into Alex's skin. Pulling the hand from behind his head, Alex ran his fingers through John's curly locks, sweeping strands back to reveal a delightfully happy little face. John sighed contentedly.

And one of John's hands were venturing down below into the sheets under them, rooting and slithering along the front of Alex's briefs. "Are you deliberately trying to turn me on?"

John playfully rolls his eyes. "Maybe" He sings.

"You wanna fool around don't cha?" Alex purred. As he does, Alex is grabbing his phone from the stand and looking at the time. John craned his head up to have a glance too, it was just gone eleven.

"Well, it would be nice." John says, he's palming Alex's balls there underneath them and Alex lets out a choked moan. "Unless you have somewhere to be?"

Alex shook his head, he's placing his phone back now and giving John his full attention. "Nope, honey. I'm staying right here, with you."

With that, John literally hops on top of Alex, he's kicking off the sheets leaving them bare in just their briefs. Alex is kissing John back, letting John do some of the work for a change and John grinds himself against Alex's crotch.

Their balls meeting each others, rubbing furiously and both of them let out ragged moans. John grinds himself harder on Alex, even harder the next time and Alex's arms snake around John's waist, holding him closer so their stomachs were alined, John's stiff one against Alex's slightly soft little roll. John kept dry humping him as he kissed Alex, passionately, tongue swirling and whirling.

Then John went for the front of Alex's briefs again, he's dipping his hand inside the front of them and playing with Alex's cock. Pumping it nicely, stirring him up and getting him stiff as a board. John breathlessly whispers, "You like that? Huh, you like it daddy?" He purposely tries to sound younger, slipping into his board southern accent he desperately tries to hide on a day to day basis. Any fragment of John's past or home life, he would always try to hide it, but not with Alex. Alex knew too much if he were honest. But Alex wanted to know John, he wanted to be closer to his baby.

"Mm - fuck yes, honey. Look at you, my little Tom Sawyer." Alex moaned. John snorted as he continued to get Alex off. "Shit, like that honey, keep going."

John's pace quickened on his cock. "Daddy, Tom Sawyer was from Missouri" He giggled. Alex's face knowing he got it wrong made John chuckle more. "Not all of us from the south are the same, let me tell you."

"Kinda is the same baby" No, it wasn't and so John gave Alex's dick such a monstrous tug, he growled and John did it again just for good measure. So Alex's arms around John loosened and he slaps a hand on John's ass.

"Shit!" John whelped. "Daddy" He says in a whiny voice.

Alex chuckled himself and he let John finish him off good, strips of milky cum glittered their chests. John licked it up as he eyed Alex, he took his time and then gave Alex a good thorough blow-job to make up for earlier. Alex didn't hitch up his hips like last time, John had learnt his lesson, so he just sat back and enjoyed it.

"That's a good boy, daddy's little treasure. Aren't ya? God, honey, you're so dirty. Cutest little thing you are." Alex chanted when John finished his off, he was licking his lips and still eyeing Alex. Their gaze lasted long and Alex's eyes widened slightly as realised something. The way John was looking at him - he wanted more.

What John did next surprised Alex, he snaked his arms around Alex's neck as he straddled him. Then John with a burst of strength managed to peel Alex away from his headboard and got them both falling, for John it was backwards as Alex fell forwards. John wrapped his legs around Alex's waist as he did too, clearly showing Alex what he wanted.

"Honey?"

John bit at Alex's neck, he got a moan out of Alex and bit him again. Then against Alex's ear he murmured, "You going to finally fuck me then, daddy?"

As John pulled his head away, he looked into Alex's face and there in Alex's eyes were a dark glimmer. They were both blanked face for a second before Alex broke out into a smile and John followed suit. Okay, so they were going to do this. "Jesus, finally huh" Alex says, his hands slithering up and down John's sides.

His nails digging in slightly, Alex was excited, he was into this, John could tell. Alex kisses him firmly again, the nails grated him a little but it wasn't too rough. "You sure though?" A nod off John, Alex kissed him again. "Aw fuck, oh god yeah."

John was glad when Alex began to slink downwards, so he could open up John's legs and Alex wasted no time at all ripping off his underwear. Those were gone without a care. He was quick to sink down, John's thighs hooked around Alex's arms and Alex buried his face in his ass. John mewled at the tongue invading his hole, in and out it went, in circles and Alex began to add a finger.

"Fuck you're already loosened," Alex muttered, he adds another finger. " You're so loose - Jesus, I hope Laf left some of that tightness for me honey." John scoffs at him, Alex laughed. He starts drilling John's hole with his fingers, then he finds the usual spot and John thought Alex was getting good at this, finding his prostate seemed to be one of Alex's favourite pass times whenever they did this. Alex loved seeing John go weak at the tip of his fingers and fall to bits.

John slipped out a moan when he got it too. Alex cheekily pressed on it. "Found ittttt" He sang.

Any longer and John was going to tell Alex he would rip his fingers off with his butt cheeks. The need was growing, it was getting painful now to the point where John was certain he would burst.

"Seriously!" John whined. "Are you being serious?"

Looking up to see what Alex was doing, John pulled such a look. The cutest face which always got him what he wanted.

"Daddy" John whinged.

His baby-face certainly did live up to its charm when it was needed and it seemed it was having quite an effect on Alex.

"That face... god." Alex sighs, he couldn't handle it. "Right, right then."

John expected to feel a cock nudge up against his ass immediately. Instead he was surprised to find the Alex hesitating. They hadn't gone this far before. With Lafayette the sex had been heated, quick and John just fell apart in it. With Alex, they'd had a lot of firsts together, but not sex.

John told himself not to get attached and here he was, wanting their first time doing this to have some kind of meaning. John hated that he wanted that, he just wished it could be hurried and done with. All Alex was to him was his provider, yet he's attached. So awfully attached.

Alex leans up again and he's hovering back over John now that he's slicked up good.

"Hows this gonna go?" Alex asked him gently. "I could fuck you, real good honey, hard until your cryin' or I could go a little slower than I'm used to."

No, John didn't want slow. That would only spoil the mood, so he curling his arms around Alex, he's yanking down his briefs and Alex is shrugging them off his legs. "I want you, daddy, I want you." John pleas and he's staring point-blank into Alex's eyes, right into his soul almost. "I need you" He moans.

Alex gets it, John was growing desperate and so he rolls back on his heels, John watches Alex's jiggling cock as he moves, he opens his legs wider and Alex is grabbing his cock. John purposely bit his lip, a flirty little gesture he did which sent Alex crazy.

"God, sweetie. You don't know how long daddy's been wanting you too." Alex mutters, he's busy giving himself another quick pump, just because it feels good really. Alex's girth is impressive as hell, he's not as big as Lafayette, but John wasn't complaining especially when he felt that familiar burn, that sting rapturing around his hole as Alex shoved himself in. John squeezed his eyes shut for a split second as this happened, it hurt and then it didn't once Alex was inside. "Shit - you're still pretty tight. Oh fuck yes!" he said giddily like a child.

John rolled his eyes and just smiled there at Alex on his back.

"Baby boy, you feel like fucking _magic_. Knew you would though." Alex says breathlessly, a mixture of a laugh combined. John pushed himself down on Alex slightly to gets things started. He's staring Alex in the eye, almost daringly and Alex was infact, a dare-devil.

Alex bites his own bottom lip as he's beginning to move his hips, starting fairly slowly and his full girth is working wonders when his hips are going into action. John begins to feel the pressure against his prostate and it's shooting up him like a firework, all the pleasure that built up exploding inside of him with each thrust.

"Christ, honey, you're tighter than I thought." Alex pants, he has to laugh a little as he does since he didn't expect this and he's positioning himself so that he's literally leaning over John. As he's fastening his pace, John is hiccuping small moans of his own and he's holding Alex's back for dear life. "Fuck, fuck, fuck-" and Alex gives John such an incredibly ram, John feels the life knocked out of him but the feeling was sensational. He actually moaned aloud, so Alex did it again and again. "You sound so pretty right now for daddy" Alex rasps.

And god, just like that. In, out and in. John doesn't know if his head can roll back anymore, he had to clutch his sheets as Alex began to casually start rolling his hips. It was a much softer tactic but still enough to make John completely blissed out. The room soon filled with heavy panting and the harsh slapping of flesh when Alex harshly rammed himself in John. "You're so tight kitten, so tight for daddy. Fuck-"

John rolled his head to the side, he tries to pout at Alex as he's plunging into him and rasps, "Oh, fuck. Harder daddy!"

So Alex does and with a tremendous spurt of energy he goes mercilessly against John's hole. "There!" John cries, he's got his eyes shut and his hands gripping tighter at the sheets until they've got bright pink. "There - shit - daddy - right fucking there!" Alex goes against the spot, his heavy panting and groaning only turning John on more, so own cock begins to bubble with pre-cum and John goes to grab it, pumping it. "Harder, shit!"

"Don't you worry, daddy is gonna fuck you right up." Then in a quick swift, Alex is sitting back and his cock pulls out slightly, John is about to complain about what's happening but Alex grabs him, tosses John on his front like a rag doll.

John looks over his shoulder at Alex, they're both smirking dangerously. John had to admit, he liked being tossed around in the bed. It made him feel vulnerable in some way. Alex is still inside of him and as he's thrusting into John from behind there, John is given a hard smack on one of his cheeks.

"Daddy, shit." John mewls, he loved being spanked. "More, gonna give me more daddy?"

And he's given another, a bit firmer and meaner than the last. John winces but he likes it. "Daddy you gonna punish me for being bad?"

Then Alex stops and he's lowering himself so his lips are right near John's ear. John gives his back side a flirty wiggle. Another spank was landed.

"You're not supposed to like your spankings" Alex says sternly. He was in full daddy mode.

John turns to him with a little pout. Alex tried not to smile. "Daddy, I don't."

As their eyes are locked, with Alex failing to not laugh and John pulling a playful pout with that little smile Alex loved, another giant smack was landed. Alex saw the way John moaned as he cried out. "Then stop getting wet" Alex ends firmly. They both glance down to John's weeping cock. Then they lock eyes again.

But John being John just had to push him overboard. "What're you gonna do, spank me about it, daddy?" Alex raises his brow, oh so John was being sassy. That was fine then.

So Alex sighs aloud, he moves back and he immediately takes John's entire pony tail, he thrusts his hips harder than he'd done before and John literally whimpered. "You'll think twice next time you're smart with me kitten". Then John collapsed down on his front, wincing and Alex hitches John's hips, so that he was now on his knees with his ass to him.

"Fuck" John mutters into the sheets. "Daddy!"

Alex plunges into him again in that same fashion, then again completely raw and John had gone bright red in the face. His prostate was on fire, his entire ass felt like it was going to be destroyed, Alex was always looking for signs though just incase. He takes John pony-tail and yanks it, not too hard but what he thought was enough for John. He didn't want to break his neck after all, despite everything.

"God, harder daddy-"

He gives his hair another yank and dives back into merciless pounding. John whimpering and Alex leaning down on top of John, he growls into his ear, "Ridin' you like a fuckin' horse. Told you I would, huh you little slut. Daddy told you he'd fuck your brains out." John hitches his hips up for more and it's difficult with Alex on top, but Alex gets that he wants him to go even harder. "And what did I say, your little ass is mine. Only mine -" Alex moves to his side for a second, thrusting stopped so he could slap John's ass before leaning back on him. "Naughty little bitch"

"Ah, fuck, daddy, m'sorry!" John moans.

"You enjoy him fuckin' you? Hm?" John was too lost in the moaning and the feeling of his prostate practically get peeled off the wall of his ass to reply. So Alex threw in another brutal thust. "Well?"

"Shit, fuck, daddy you're the best. My ass belongs to you -" John whimpered aloud.

Another thrust.

"You sure about that?" Alex growls. "You better be damn sure"

John had a build up of tears nearly in his eyes, god it was too much. His ass felt like it was burning, his lower stomach was oozing with nothing but sparks of amazement and his cock wanted to scream. "Daddy yes! I am! I belong to you, everything! Fuck -"

Alex smirked. That's what he wanted to hear. "Damn right"

Once he had John completely helpless, crying out 'daddy' and so Alex knew it was nearly time. He takes Johns thickened cock, he's pumping it and John is on the verge nearly of splurging all over the place. "You better cum for me" and John eventually does. "Cum for me, kitten. Fuckin' cum right now!"

It's hot, sticky and oozing all over the sheets underneath them. "That's a good boy" Alex gives Johns hair a gentle twist and his thrusts go slower, they build back up again and Alex catches John off guard for a moment just when he thought Alex had stopped. Once more final tedious thrust and John collapsed right on his front. Only their heavy breathing and the movie still rolling filled the room. Alex's hair was falling out, he was sweltering and took a second out to just retie it back into its usual bun.

He was staring at John, he had reached his climax and was totally flustered, his freckled cheeks prominent and even with the laptop being the only source of light Alex could see how pink he'd gone. So Alex gives John's back and shoulders a sweet rub before he saying, "Honey, you okay there?" Alex's tone hinted concern. He hoped he hadn't overdone it.

"Mm, I'm good." John mumbles, he's completely blissed out and gives Alex a cheeky little salute. Alex giggles and he's leaning down to kiss John's shoulder, then he's kissing the side of John's neck and he's moaning as Alex does this. Alex is still inside of him too, he moves his hips at a slow sensual pace.

"Tell me what you want, sweetie?"

John managed to pop a kiss on Alex's lips, it was soft and lazy. "I want you to-" Another kiss, his words thick, drunk on Alex's lips. "Fuck me again"

Alex just snorted slightly. He decided perhaps that was enough for today, John needed to cool down now. "No honey" Alex said softly.

"No?" John sounded dazed, a bit confused.

He kissed John back and shook his head. "Not 'fuck', tell me you want me to make love to you, Jack."

 

That name.

 

_Jack_

 

John's throat closed up, he went from looking at Alex with half-closed lids to full on wide eyes. His face was redder than before. His heart was going at an animalistic pace too and he was speechless. Only family, his loved ones, only they called him by _that_ name.

Not even Peggy called him that.

Alex was staring at him back with a brief expression of worry. "Honey?

Warmness filled John and it wasn't from the heat of their session. It was something else. John looked so young right now, uncertain of what was to come for the future and it made him rethink if he should really go down this road with Alex. He would only be swept away and Alex was that hurricane.

John then found himself blushing at this direction stated so clearly by Alex. He knew that this shift in language should be easy, but instead he found his tongue tripping lamely over these simple words.

Seeing his John's struggle, Alex offered some assistance, "You can say 'yes' if you want to honey or 'no'."

So John did.

"Yes, Alex," John whispered, gazing into Alex's eyes and awed by the tender power he saw there.

"I want you…" Alex whispered.

"I want you…" John echoed, his stomach filled with butterflies, he was being whirled away into the abyss. This was it.

"To make love to me," Alex growled softly.

John felt himself involuntarily quiver at these words. His cock was dripping with anticipation and his heart was soaring, it had wings. Oh god. He felt himself stripped to his very soul that Alex had somehow seen this. He couldn't help but close his eyes against Alex intense gaze.

"To make love to me." John exhaled the words in a whispered breath that was barely audible. He could hear his heart pounding in his chest in the silence that followed. Then he felt the fingers of the hand on his head slip forward and lift up a loose curl; warm lips pressed against his forehead.

When they withdrew John opened his eyes slowly, only to find Alex looking at him with such warmth and a strength it made him feel as though his rampaging heart might burst.

"Good boy" Alex offered a small smile of approval. Then a little bit of his devil slipped into his expression. "Now then, where were we?" He tilted his head to the side pretending to consider this. "Oh, right, now I remember."

Alex leaned back down and captured a stunned John's mouth again. Then they changed position, where John is trying to get on his back again.

Alex helps him as he does and there is a bit of discomfort in John's expression as they do this. Alex stops his thrusting and pulls out for a second so John can adjust. "Put it back in" John murmurs and he captures Alex's lips, he lazily pulls Alex down on top of him as Alex is slipping, easily back into John. Alex is secretly pleased how well adjusted John's hole is to him now. So Alex starts to go at a bit of a slower pace, all while thrusting into him as he's kissing him.

Their hips rock and as this happens, John notices Alex's hand there beside his head, Alex breathlessly moans against the crook of his neck and John doesn't know what comes over him. It's the heat of the moment, it just has to be. He inches his hand to Alex's and Alex caught on when it nudges his, so Alex takes John's hand, their fingers intwined and John squeezes it.

It's the same hand with his promise ring on too, Alex sways his thumb over the ring gently, it was nice knowing John had it on and Alex acknowledged that. So he clasps John's hand harder as he gives a rougher thrust and John wails out a mighty moan. It's that spot, right there and Alex hits it again. Again, again and again. John's squeezes his hand back to show he's still got fight left in him yet, so Alex remains thrusting harder before he's got John at the very peak of bliss. That overpowering feeling, his body is tingling and his head is light.

This was what heaven probably felt like John thought.

"I've gotta cum honey," Alex rasps, then just at that very moment he does. John can feel it, a hot spray right up inside of him and Alex's thrusts become slippery. His cock sliding in and out much easier, John moans at the feeling, it's nice and comforting as gross as it may sound. "Fuck" Alex says and he gives one final thrust, then he's done and he's just about to pull out of John until John locks his legs around Alex's waist.

"No" John murmurs. Alex is sweaty and panting, he looks down at John confused. "Just stay like this for a little."

And he's wrapping his arms around Alex's back, breathing hard into the crook of his neck. John just wanted for them to stay like this. Just holding, just loving each other.

"Yeah, sure, course." He says back and Alex is holding him back.

John closed his eyes, the silence taking its toll since the movie had already ended. The police sirens from afar outside his dorm were blaring and the sounds of car honking. Both of them lay there completely besotted with each other, reeling in the peace and preciousness of this moment.

Although John was so confused, he really was because he knew he shouldn't have initiated that. Offering his hand to Alex during them having sex, it was completely sealing the deal that they were now together. Actually together and it was only going to make things worse when John broke it off. But Alex, as much as John wanted him, he couldn't. 

"Jack" Alex muffled against his shoulder.

"Hm?"

There was a small pause of silence. It didn't last long with Alex of course.

"You won't run off again will you?"

John bit on his tongue for a second.

"I won't, I promise."

Alex wasn't really his, Lafayette would never be his either. Not really.

He would never be satisfied. 

But for now, this would do.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah... they finally did the dirty! Yay! But now we're heading into a deep, dark abyss now guys. John is such an insecure little cinnamon roll, he wants them both but is scared and relationships can be damn scary. Espesh when you've been messed over and screwed :<
> 
> God John just admit you love Alex and want to love Laf too ;p 
> 
> Oh my god, I had to literally google an address for that Forever 21. I've never even stepped foot inside one tbh! and brownie chocolate milkshakes are amazing. Better than sex. Well... almost. 
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT ON THE LAST CHAPTER GUYS! <3 
> 
> It means a lot! It really does :) x
> 
> PS. This chapter was inspired by the new song "Let You Love Me" by Rita Ora (its my new favourite - give it a try and you'll see why I chose it for this chapter!)


	10. THE 'B' WORD

Over the next month John got on with his job at Lava Java and college work for his animation classes. He hadn't stepped foot in Alex and Lafayette's place since the New Year and John had avoided going.

John had seen Alex here and there, usually it involved a trip to a restaurant together or bar. Followed by a heated session back at John's dorm in bed.

But Alex kept inviting him over to the penthouse, he always said he would come pick John up, they could grab some food and take it back to his, John could spent the night.

However John didn't know how to face Lafayette again, he hadn't seen him since he booted him out his dorm. Alex hadn't mentioned anything about him kicking Lafayette out, although John had his suspicions that Alex was probably aware of what happened. Since Lafayette couldn't keep his mouth shut.

John wanted to tell him he was sorry, he was, he hadn't meant to be so cold and kick him out but at the time he was freaking out. Now Alex was completely fine with the fact that John, his boyfriend and his husband had fucked. It was all good and dandy in Alex's book, he wanted to continue as normal but for John he was clueless as to what happened next.

Even if he did stay over, Lafayette was there and after fucking both of them, John didn't know if he could bare sharing a bed with them. What would they do, have a threesome? God, the idea sounded hot but John still wasn't sure. His feelings were all over the place for Alex and Lafayette just concurred his mind on the daily. They were both amazing lovers but John knew it wouldn't work. How could three men possibly be together. It'd never happen.

It was friday night and John was leaving his class, it felt weird to be back after the holidays still. A new load of work had already been given to him, John felt grouchy from not getting enough sleep and he had a shift tomorrow to top it off. Great. With peggy away in Italy on a trip with her class, Angelica working a late shift at a department store and with Eliza on a date with a dark-curly-haired chick.

So John was left alone by himself tonight. He called earlier on, to see what Hercules was up to, whether he wanted to hang or not was another thing but he was busy with some girl, taking photographs for his Depop business. On the side Hercules was a designer and made weird funky pants. John thought they were pretty cool, not his thing but cool.

He decides to go about his business and grab a take away for dinner. Netflix, food and bed sounded pretty good at the moment. Alex had even topped up his allowance John found when he went to check the balance on his phone, it was actually shocking. John spent a good five minutes just staring at it until it processed that he probably had more money than the tutors earning at his college. He was in good figures, some real good figures. But he was going to save half of it, so when he had enough, he would be cashing the lot out and on his way.

Once John got in sight of his favourite Chinese takeout, the neon panda sign flashing in his view and John's stomach rumbled even more seeing people flock out of with bag full. Friday nights were meant for junk food. As he walked closer, his phone was vibrating. He had an idea who it was and once he grabbed it out, there he was.

"Hello?" John says into the speaker.

"Hey baby boy!" Alex greeted playfully. John couldn't help but smile whenever he heard Alex's voice. It always made him happy, stirred something inside him.

"Alex, hey" John says. He's gone to the window now so he can have a quick peak at the menu. The salt and pepper fries sounded pretty good. But maybe he would get some fried spicy duck wings for a change.

"Hey, hows it going? I called to ask if you want to come over. Honey, Laf is home from his trip away in London. He's cooking tonight, you should come over, we're having cheesy tortellini!"

John keeps his small sigh to himself. He's looking at the menu and frowning for a moment, all he wants is Chinese food. "Isn't that Italian? Laf's French!"

"Yeah, but, so what? Aw, come on over honey."

Then John says, "Alex... after last time?" They couldn't ignore the fact that New Year happened. Lafayette and John happened, but John couldn't forget that him and Alex had finally slept together either. Since then Alex had been wanting John around him even more, he was more clingy and adamant than before. John found it sweet but he didn't get Alex's deal. He wondered if the guy liked ever being alone because it seemed he didn't.

"Oh he's well over it! Laf is fine now. Baby, please come over. Daddy misses you!"

Alex was probably just saying that. Lafayette was probably still mad as hell.

"I don't know Alex" John kicks at a lone beer can there on the sidewalk.

"It'd make daddy happy? Please! What else would you even be doing tonight?"

With a snicker, John looked at the takeaway's neon sign, the glowing Panda staring down at him, John swore the thing had a life of its own. It was urging him to come in. So he says, "I'm right outside my chinese take out place actually"

There was a 'pfft' sound down the line then Alex said, "Just get your ass in a cab and come"

"Or you could... come find me?" John teased and Alex groaned aloud down the line. He took it literally.

"If you think I'm doing that again, you can forget it honey. Daddy says get in a cab right now."

So John starts to walk away from his favourite takeaway and he's rolling his eyes with a smile, "Fine. See you in ten daddy."

And Alex puts the phone down. A couple walked past John from out the takeout shop, he could smell the delicious scent of fried noodles and chilli sauce. He pouts to himself and figures he best go grab a cab.

Finally he was pulling up at their complex, John does the usual, pays the driver and goes up into the building. The usual door man there lets on to him and John gives him a small smile. He gets the elevator up to their floor and John's there knocking at their door.

It took a couple of minutes for anyone to open up because John had to knock again twice. Now John was expecting to find Alex beaming at the him like a bouncy puppy dog. But John's smile faded instantly when he came eye to eye with Lafayette.

Lafayette and him shared a moment of silence, just staring at each other tensely. John looks away to the other side of the hall, he's fidgeting with the strap of his bag. Lafayette is probably expecting an apology, John knew he deserved one and a good one after hurting him like he had. Before John could cough anything up, Lafayette was already opening the door wider to let John in and stepped aside.

The silence stung more than anything. As John moved inside, he's there in the door way and he's looking around for a second. The penthouse was always amazing, the living room was in darkness with only the TV on while the kitchen light shone against the huge book case. Something smelled really nice too, John felt this stomach rumble and he's immediately pulled back to what was happening when Lafayette nonchalantly says, "Take off your coat and bag, I will be in the kitchen. Make yourself a home." and he begins to walk off with a brief wave of the hand.

John immediately calls after him and Lafayette stops. He's slowly turning back to John, one hand in his pocket and the other playing around with his coiled puff. He's got this blank expression on, there is more to it though. It's in Lafayette 's eyes and John can see his obviously annoyed that he was over.

"Lafayette" John begins with a small sigh. He has to keep eye contact, he knows he can't keep looking away. John had to be serious. "I need to apologise to you, it's about New Year-" and Lafayette is wafting his hand at him, he doesn't want to listen and John is stepping closer to him.

"Laf, look, I'm sorry" John says, he means it. His hazel eyes shine with worry, he's worried Lafayette won't accept his apology. "I shouldn't have told you to not tell Alex about us, I shouldn't have ever asked you to lie to him." John's voice lowers and Lafayette's expression softens. "And it was wrong of me to kick you out like that. I never regarded your feelings once, I'm seriously so sorry. Truth is I was just... scared."

He grips the strap of his bag firmer and John is biting his lip as he's looking into Lafayette's eyes. He just wants him to know that he's sorry if anything. Lafayette's lips slowly turn upwards and he's shaking his head. "Come, cheri. Hang up your bag and coat. Dinner is almost ready."

With that Lafayette is walking off into the kitchen and John is left alone. It seemed Lafayette had accepted his apology after all. He smiles to himself as he's hanging up his belongings and kicking off his battered vans. He slips his phone into his back pocket incase and heads in the direction of the kitchen.

Everything smells delicious, plates are already out there on the marble counters and Lafayette is doing whatever he's doing with the pasta. John feels a bit sheepish still though, he's eyeing Lafayette and although Lafayette has his back turned to him, John feels like he's still being scrutinised.

Alex isn't anywhere to be seen and it's just them. John wonders why is it every time he comes over, Alex is never there. But it didn't matter for now, so John comes around into the kitchen area and slowly he meets Lafayette at his side. John just leans against the counter and watches him toss in some cherry tomatoes. Lafayette looks to him for a moment, just a blank face and so John decides to reach out first.

Lafayette isn't like Alex. He doesn't come to you first, he doesn't speak his mind and pounce on you like Alex does. Lafayette keeps himself hidden and the silent treatment is worse than being screamed at, because you knew there was something wrong. You never knew what could be going through a person's mind.

"Thanks for having me over," John says and he places a hand gently on Lafayette's bicep. At this Lafayette stopped, he's placing the wooden spoon down in its little holder and he's turning to John properly now. "You're still pissed, huh."

Lafayette puts a hand to his hip, he's glaring down at him. "Next time John Laurens, I will not be so easily rid of. Do you understand?"

John feels his freckled cheeks colour at his words.

So there was going to be a next time, if that meant they were going to be sleeping together again, then it made John wonder how this dynamic was going to work. He was already fucking Alex, let alone his damn husband. So John just played along, he nods. It was the easiest thing to do at this point. Do whatever they tell him, smile, nod, laugh. It kept everything running smoothly, it kept the arguments at bay and the money flowing into his account each month.

"Understood, oui." With that John smiled at him and Lafayette smirked back at him. Whether it was the lame bit of french John used or the fact that Lafayette was intent on fucking him again, John couldn't be too sure. But he was just glad Lafayette had cheered up.

Lafayette turned down the heat on the stove before he came closer to John. John was waiting, he wanted to see what Lafayette was going to do and once Lafayette was close enough, his palm caressing his blushing cheek and bending his head down.

"Laf is this really okay?" John murmured. "I don't want you angry with me."

John inched his head upwards, his lips brushing against Lafayette's and he kissed him. Their kiss was just quick and supple.

"It is and I am not angry. But you must stop running John Laurens." Lafayette whispers back and he's moving in again on John.

As John was about to respond to that, Lafayette took his other cheek and he pushing John right against against the counter softly with his hips. John kissed him back and the kiss lingered much longer. Lafayette added his tongue, it swirled in John's mouth and John returned the favour, he moaned into it quietly.

Enjoying it, Lafayette tasted minty although there was a hint of wine there somewhere too. As they broke away the pair of them staring into each others eyes until John became self conscious and he went to grasp his lips, he looked down at his shoes. Lafayette's hand still on his cheek.

"Damn, that was hot as fuck. Do it again. Again!"

Immediately John gasped, his eyes were wide and he's whipping his head around to find Alex leaning on the counter, his chin in his hands, he had the most devilish grin John had ever seen him wear. "Alex!" John squealed.

"Hey honey" Alex says and blows John a kiss of his own. "Hey babe" and that's when John realises he's talking to Lafayette.

Then John remembers, oh god. Lafayette is still there infront of him, pressed against him and his hands are on him. They'd just kissed too.

Lafayette sighs and says, "Mon cher, must you sneak on us like that? You scared John!"

And with that John is slipping out of Lafayette's grasp, he's moving away from him and sliding up a bit further on the counters. Lafayette didn't notice since his attention was on Alex, but Alex noticed and he's staring right at John.

"Mm, I guess I did." John can hear a bit of disappointment in Alex's tone too. He didn't know what to do, John wasn't sure if he was supposed to be all lovey-dovey with Lafayette or not. He just felt uncomfortable with Alex watching them. "Dinner nearly ready? I'm starving."

With that Lafayette went back to turning on the stove's knob, he says, "Do not worry, Alexander. You will be fed. So impatient..." and then Lafayette asks him, "Where were you anyway?"

"In the office, new year, new shit load of work." Alex groans. 

Then he's watching Lafayette grab his wooden spoon and toying with the pasta. John noticed there was a hell of a lot of it too. Enough to probably feed a family of ten and Alex shifts over to see what he's up to, his eyes widen and it seems even he's noticed. Alex snorts and chuckles, "Fuckin' hell, Laf how many packets did you throw in?! I swear you're trying to kill me off early or get me fat. It's one of the two."

Lafayette is smiling to himself. He knows Alex is right, he's grabbing some kind of spice and tossing it in. "Oh be quiet, Mon chou, you'll eat it all anyway. Do not complain." He's saying, John watches just how Lafayette manhandles the food, it smelled delicious and then Alex grabs his attention again.

"John" Alex says, so he darts his eyes back to him. Alex is pouring himself a glass of red wine. There was a few bottles out there on the counter, John spots a Sam Adams among them. It seemed Alex knew he'd turn up. Just that little gesture alone makes John's heart flutter, it's annoying. He was too good to him. "You see what I have to put up with? Told you, Laf's on beast-mode when he's in this kitchen. Last time I went to Paris with him, I stayed with his family and came back ten pounds heavier."

Alex is leaning back down on the counter with his wine, he's rolling his eyes and giving it a shake.

Lafayette just laughs properly this time. His eyes never leave the pasta though. "Alexander still does not forgive me, I mean, I do not see what the problem is. Mon cher, you didn't complain." John notices the swift glance Lafayette gives his husband. They've both got this cheeky glimmer in their eyes. John's bouncing back and forth between in wonder and then Alex turns to him again with that same look in his eyes.

"Hm, that's right. I won't lie though, we probably had some of the best sex ever back then." Alex chuckled as he took a mouthful of his wine, well half the glass. Lafayette's mouth drops open to him and he scoffs at Alex."Honey, you should've seen him when I had love handles. Couldn't keep off them, jesus christ. Then when we got back, he bullied me into going to the gym with him five days a week!" Alex griped. Lafayette was laughing, shaking his head, as he went back to stirring the pasta.

John didn't know what to say, at all. He put his hands in his pockets and looked around awkwardly. He roams a hand through his mane of curls, it was weird when you had to listen to a married couple talk about their sex life. All while having a sex life with that very couple, at the same time too.

"Oh please Alexander, you were complaining every morning, that you had gained weight." Lafayette rolls his eyes. "I would not have cared if you stayed chubby."

Alex turns back to John, their eyes locking this time. "Aw cute" Alex says sarcastically. Then he goes, "He's trying to make us fat honey." Alex grumbles and he's knocking back the rest of his wine.

Lafayette grabs a cherry tomato from their pack at the side of the stove, he gets it and actually launches it at Alex. Alex ducks, he scoffs at Lafayette like he can't believe he'd done that, calls him a 'big child' and it goes rolling over somewhere near the bookcase. John is just standing there, watching uselessly and Alex is running off to get it.

"Alexander" Lafayette says warningly. Although it didn't sound much like a proper warning John thought. Alex comes back chewing away on the tomato and he's propping himself back on the counter again. He stares over to John as he swallows and then he's got that look on his face. John knows that look, it's that cheeky one. Alex was going to say something else outrageous.

"Well, I guess it isn't like John will pack on the pounds much," Alex says. John's body freezes as Alex mentions him because he knows he's going to bring up something sexual or embarrassing just to get a rise out of him. Lafayette looks to John, he's got that same look Alex has too. "Will you, honey? Not with your little toned tummy, legs and _ass_. God, John you're all the way over there. Come sit." Alex says with a grin, he's patting the stool there as he's taking a seat on one.

John just wants to curl up and have the floor eat him alive by this point. "Alex" John scolds quietly, he's blushing. He can't look at either of them. Lafayette is smirking as he's adding some sauce out a jar and Alex is topping up his wine.

So John decides to go join Alex while they wait. Lafayette is telling Alex to go easy on the wine and Alex nods along, he doesn't really appear to be paying much attention though. John takes a seat next to Alex, he has to adjust it though since it's too high up and when he's comfortable he goes to grab that bottle of Sam Adams there. He maybe as well just get cosy, like the old saying goes; if you can't beat them, join them. There's an opener right there too, with a quick pry open, it went 'pop' and John happily took a long swig of his own beer.

Alex is leaning on his propped arm there, just watching him with this sappy smile. John puts down his beer, he's rubbing at his mouth with his sleeve as he's meeting Alex's gaze. He raises his eyebrows in question at Alex who just chuckles. "God, you're cute even when you drink." and he leans in to give John a quick kiss on the tip of his little upturned-nose.

"Alex" John says again in a scolding tone. He's looking down at his beer bottle, it wasn't long chilled so the label peeling kept him occupied. John tore and picked at it for a distraction.

With Alex staring at him, John felt really self conscious, plus to know he'd witnessed Alex catch him and Lafayette made it worse. He felt so out of place right now.

"So, like, have you both made up?" Alex asks, he's looking over to Laf and then back to John. "Apologies and all?" John knew that last part was aimed at him. Alex grabbed his glass for a quick swig.

Lafayette looks over to John, he saw John was still fiddling with whatever he was doing and Lafayette of course knew John felt low. Lafayette knew just how demanding his husband could be. So chooses to cut in, he nods and said, "Ah, yes, John did apologise to me. Everything is fine now, Mon cher."

John is chewing the inside of his cheek and peeling the label so that half of it ripped. Alex gives him a nudge with his boot, John looks to him sullenly like a kicked dog. "Yeah, I said I was sorry. We made up." John adds and he's giving a little spin on his chair but Alex halts it with his socked-foot.

"Alright then!" Alex cried and he claps his hands together, he turns in his chair and uses his foot to swift John to face him too. "Okay, honey, we best start to go through a few things before anything else. Are you actually okay? Like you're quiet as fuck." Lafayette turns off the stove, god everything smelled so good and John's attention goes back to him, his eyes are following Lafayette as he's taking out garlic bread in the oven. Then he immediately places them back on Alex.

"I'm fine, Alex. I just... I'm just happy to be here. I feel kind of overwhelmed, this is all really new to me." John says a bit too shyly for his liking. He didn't know what comes next out of all this.

Alex turns slightly back and forth there in his chair, he cocks his head to the side for a second and asks, "Why overwhelmed? Baby boy, it's only me and Laf. Aw!" And Alex is leaning forwards to him and stepping down slightly off his chair so he can hug John. "God, you get yourself so worked up. Stop getting worked up!"

"I'm not! Everything is different now that's all-" John is cut off and Alex pulls back from him with a puzzled expression as he laughs.

"Why? Because we've all had sex with each other?" Alex is so blunt with words. John's looking to Lafayette who has now joined them at the counter, he's pouring himself some wine and John darts his gaze back to Alex.

"Pretty much," John says bashfully. He's red again. "But isn't this situation a little... odd for either of you?"

Lafayette then tunes in saying, "Not at all, cheri, we enjoy being with you. Please, stop worrying. Sex is sex at the end of the day."

John's stomach sinks. Sex was just sex, is that what they literally only thought of it as with him. John was only a sugar baby after all, the deep heated sex between Alex and him didn't mean anything really. John was dumb if he believed that it meant anything. Alex nods agreeing with his husband. "It's a basic human need" he says and Lafayette almost snorts on his wine.

'John, you're overthinking it too much. C'mon, that movie you mentioned the other day, one you were talking about with the aliens is on tonight." Alex says, he's hopping back off the stool and grabbing the sleeve of John's arm. "Bring your drink" He adds.

With Alex and John taking the sofa, Lafayette continued on getting dinner ready and told them he would be over in a few minutes. Alex switched the channel to which one had the movie and John took a seat next to him.

He left a good amount of space between them, John wasn't really paying attention to the TV and whatever it was Alex was saying to Lafayette over the sofa. He was zoned out, his eyes just planted lifelessly on his bottle in his hands and that was when he felt Alex shift next to him closer. He felt Alex's arms pull him into his chest and Alex held him.

"You okay?" Alex whispers.

John snaps out of his daze and he looks up at Alex. He doesn't look too sure but John puts on a smile. "Yeah, why?"

Alex places his glass down on the coffee table there and John does the same with his bottle rather than it spill all over. "It's the first time you two have seen each other since you slept together. Just worried you feel out of place." Alex tells him.

"No, I'm fine. It's just I'm worried he's still mad at me." John admits quietly. "I know we kissed, you, well, _saw_. But he's really quiet around me, he never usually is."

John crosses his legs there on the sofa, he's trying to get himself comfortable and Alex jilts as he does. Alex pulls him up so that John is sitting in-between his legs. "Oh honey, he isn't mad at you, watch -" Then Alex is propping himself up over the sofa, John instantly swifts round to swat Alex on his chest but he's ignored. "Laf!"

When Lafayette looks to Alex from the stove, Alex then shouts, "Are you mad at John still?!"

Lafayette answers back a 'no' and then Alex settles back down. John is glaring at him while Alex just chuckles at how pissed he looks. "Why? Alex, why?"

"You weren't gonna ask him, I may as well just push things forward." Alex mumbles, he's burying his face in the crook of John's shoulder from behind him. Then he plants a kiss. "Alex" John tries to scold him but he's leans into Alex's kiss and moans lightly.

"See, he isn't mad at you. Stop worrying baby boy." Alex's hot breath is tickling John's neck and John hitches his shoulder up to rub at the spot but Alex does it again. Then he's kissing up his neck and sucking right almost right on his adam's apple.

"Alex" John murmurs. "Fuck" He's got Alex sucking on his neck there and John can feel Alex's hand slowly begin to snake on his thigh, he's rubbing it right down to his knee. Alex's fingers catch one of the loops of threads in the ripped knee of his jeans and Alex stops for a moment to say, "You need some new jeans honey"

It has John snickering, he's trying not to moan too loudly and he rasps out, "They're supposed to be that - way!"

John's watching Alex's hand there out of half-lidded eyes, its travelling further and further to his crotch. God, he didn't want to be too turned on before dinner. Lafayette wasn't even that far away and it would be too much if he caught them doing this. Alex gives John's neck a light bite, it only gains him another soft moan and then he says near John's ear, "Clothes aren't supposed to be ripped" before he goes back to sucking his neck dry like a vampire.

Fuck, John is almost turned on. Alex was doing this on purpose. So he budged up closer into Alex, he shifted his ass deliberately in Alex's groin and he's giving a hefty moan as he's sucking on his neck still. Two can play at that game.

"Careful daddy, with the way you're going -" John swifts against him again. Alex stops sucking and he's giving a lengthy groan. "You may just make a tear -"

He budges into Alex again harder this time, Alex moans a little again. "Right there".

John turns his head back and he's looking at Alex from upside down, he's grinning menacingly while Alex looked like he'd just been slapped. So Alex takes John cheeks and squeezes them so that John looked like a puffer fish.

He was about to say something else, probably lewd but Lafayette was already walking over, his foot steps made them both halt. So Alex lowly growls, "Just you wait, honey. Just you wait."

Alex lets him go and John sits up properly, he gives Alex a smug glance as Lafayette approaches them with his wine in his hand he takes a seat right next to them.

John is looking between them both, he feels sandwiched. He's still between Alex's legs and Lafayette is right on his other side. Lafayette gives Alex a look and Alex is pretending to be actually watching the movie, when John knows really Alex is seething inside. God, he's hard too. John deliberately shuffles inwards against Alex's tightened groin. Lafayette missed it but Alex gives John's pony tail a very light, playful tug. All John could do was try to hold in his smile.

They kept at this for the next five minutes until Lafayette just turns to them both and says, "Dinner will be ready in five. Cheri, also, please refrain from making Alexander excited. I do not want him with a hard-on at the dinner table." John immediately dies and he's got his face in his hands. Alexander gives John a nudge in his back and shouts "Ha!"

Lafayette is getting up and he's shaking his head at Alex. "And you, Mon cher, this is all your doing." He scolds and he darts his eyes to John.

Alex gaped at his husband and he's blinking rapidly at Lafayette. He scoffs with a laugh, "What? What did I do?! Babe, he's grinding on me!" John crouches down there on the sofa. He can feel his entire face burn up. Lafayette knew all that time.

"You have created a little minx, that is what you have done." John didn't see but Alex and Lafayette were both sporting smirks at him. Almost as if they were pleased that John was coming out of his shell.

When he thought it was all over, John began to sat up properly again, half of his hair had fallen out from its tie and he's got Lafayette bending to snug it back in place. Alex who's cooing behind him about how 'fluffy' his curls were. John just wants dinner, he just wants to have dinner and go. They both got him so riled up. Almost as if he was getting -

"There you go," Lafayette says once he's fixed John's hair, he's moving a face loose curls out of his face and tucking them behind John's reddened ears. "Cheri you are due a trim, your ends are splitting. You should not treat your hair so roughly." John looked mortified at Lafayette, how he knew so much about hair was beyond him. The pair of them were obsessed with it!

Alex gives him a nudge in the side as he begins to stand too. "Aw, honey, you hear that?" John looks to a beaming Alex, with his mouth still half gaped opened. "Laf's giving you the daddy treatment."

Then once again John has his face buried in his hand and he's looking to the TV. This was going to be a long night.

 

* * *

 

They have dinner around the table although Alex complains that they should all just eat and watch the movie on the sofa. But Lafayette suggests that it's nice to be at the table when John is over. John really didn't mind where they ate but he had a feeling Lafayette liked to pick him apart when they ate at the table. He was always asking John questions, his home life, his college work even the mundane things like dog breeds and new games that had just been released.

Lafayette complained how he wished he had the time to be playing the new Spider man game that had just been released. His job was so demanding that he just didn't have the time and he told John that he was boarding another plane back to London in a weeks time. Alex pouted and complained how they weren't spending enough time together lately. He even grabs Lafayette's hand there on the table, John's sucking up a piece of pasta and he's watching them share that little intimate moment. Not really saying anything but the look in their eyes told John all he needed to know.

Then Lafayette bounced his gaze automatically to John who was staring at them and told Alex he wouldn't be alone. Alex grinned at John and dips at the sauce with his mozzarella stick.

John and them have another long conversation over dinner about some TV show they all liked recently. It was going well but John did wonder if him and Alex were together, did that also mean him and Lafayette were too? He wasn't sure. He didn't even know if Alex was his boyfriend or was he still just his glorified enabler.

He couldn't finish all his food, John couldn't pack it in as much as Lafayette or Alex. Alex polished off his entire plate, Lafayette ate like a whippet and still had seconds. Alex ended up dragging John's plate, not caring whether John had chewed up bites there and he finished it all too. Lafayette laughed and called him something in French. Alex is smirking and says something back in French, Lafayette almost looks outraged. John is sat there on the outskirts just wondering, but he knows it's definitely all insults anyway.

Once they're done with Alex clearing the table, John helps Lafayette with the washing up. In fact he actually tells Lafayette to just sit down, he's done all the cooking for them and John didn't mind washing up. In fact, John always did it for everyone back home in Charleston anyway, although the cooking usually consisted of something basic as tinned spaghetti or microwaved lasagne for his siblings. Lafayette told John he didn't like not doing anything, he preferred to keep busy.

They're washing up in the double sink together and John accidentally clasps the same pan as Lafayette does. Their hands holding one another's, John looks up slowly at Lafayette who is doing the same back. There is a small smile on his lips and John smiles back. Lafayette squeezes his hand and John does it back gently. With that, they go back to finishing washing up like nothing had happened.

When they're done putting everything away, Alex had just finished up with a phone call to a client and he announces he's off for a shower. Cheekily he invites both of them but Lafayette sends Alex on his way. As he's walking off, John catches a wink from Alex, he's sweet like that. Secretly urging John to make a move on his husband and he's away into the bedroom. That leaves both John and Lafayette alone once more.

That's when John notices Lafayette is still in his work shirt. He must've not long come home from his trip, John is eyeing him in his fitted shirt and trousers - although he is certain those are black jeans. They're way too tight to be normal trousers. Still, he looked smart, beautiful really.

They make small talk between them and they're back on the sofa. Lafayette is pouring himself another glass of wine, he offers John one but he declines politely. John wonders if Lafayette is totally being himself around him. He's too put together, Alex had told John so many stories already about the crazy side of Lafayette, he sounded worse than Alex or maybe that was Alex just exaggerating.

Then John questions if Lafayette is just as unsure as himself, sure they fucked, good and hard but John didn't really know him still. He knew Alex but Lafayette, John wanted to grow closer. He knew he told himself to just do all this for the money and go along with it but there by Lafayette's side. Seeing Lafayette's smile, hearing him laugh and talking to him always pulled John around Lafayette's finger. He was always besotted with the man whenever he was around him.

"Laf, hey" John says and he nudges Lafayette with his foot. Lafayette's got his glass at his mouth, phone in his hand and he's looking to John.

Boldly John slides closer to him and he grins. "Fancy a game?" He's already got a controller at the ready he's found under the coffee table. "I'll even let you win."

Lafayette puts down his glass and phone, he takes the one John offers to him with a little smile. "You do know little John, I am not angry anymore with you. Stop acting so guilty." Lafayette's doing something with the remote to get the game up. John budges him with his knee, he's leaning against Lafayette and wafts his foot over Lafayette's that dangles there. John was pleased to see they were the same shoe size for some reason.

"Laf..." John says lowly, he looks up at him with his wide hazel pretty eyes. "Kiss me if it makes any of this better."

Looking into them eyes, Lafayette dives down to press a soft kiss against John's lips. John kisses him back full on, he lets go of the worry that Alex may catch them and his little plan of the future between them all is shoved to the back of his mind. None of it mattered anymore.

He's melting right into the kiss, dissolving and John turns so he can properly crawl in Lafayette's lap. John tosses his controller to the side for a moment, while he positions his thighs either side of Lafayette's waist and John's too far gone into it. He can't keep his hands off him.

As they break away, it ending with Lafayette nipping John's bottom lip. Lafayette smirks all while whispering, "I should take you out sometime myself." Then John's eyes widen at his words. His fingers on the collar of Lafayette's shirt tighten for a second, he's flustered and not sure what to say. Lafayette seems to read his mind. "Alexander will not mind, cheri, do not worry."

"How do you know?" John asks with a slight nervous pinch to his voice.

Although Lafayette looked very young, closer John noticed the slight wear around his nasal area. Much like Alex, Lafayette certainly looked well in this thirties up close. John just never really noticed before. Not that it mattered. Lafayette was handsome as fuck. He's looking John up and down there with this gentle smile. "We have talked a lot about this arrangement between you both, cheri." Lafayette takes John's sides and he's running his hands up them. ""Alexander does not mind if I date you at all."

John's hands move away from his collar and on the tops of Lafayette's thighs. John was right, they are jeans. He can feel the fabric.

"Perhaps... you may like, a separate arrangement?" Lafayette adds smoothly.

Another arrangement.

That meant another sugaring relationship. John's throat went as dry as sand, he couldn't speak for a moment and he's dropping his gaze to where his hands are sat. Another relationship meant another source of income which was great, but this was too much. John nervously says, "Um, I would like to go on a date Laf. But I need to think about considering... y'know."

Lafayette runs his hands up him again. "Understood, Mon cheri. So about that game?"

John's eyes flicker back to his and he's brightly grinning at him.

When Alex returns after doing whatever he was doing, his hair all wet in its bun, he's in a loose shirt and joggers. John and Lafayette are playing some game that involved killing piles of other members online. Alex stares at them with a smile of his own and he's shaking his head before hopping over the sofa, landing right beside John and it scares the life out of them since they didn't hear him coming.

"Jesus christ!" John cries, he's spilt his beer all over his top. "Alex!"

Lafayette was startled too and he's telling Alex off. "Alexander, why can't you sit normally! Look what you've done to John."

Alex just balls his eyes at them. He's grabbing a spare glass off the table, pouring himself some of that wine. "Who the fuck got _dry_ white wine in? May as well just drink my own piss." He groans at the bottle, it'll do for the evening since there is no more red in and he's putting the bottle down, before turning to them both sat there. Alex even has the nerve to hitch his leg on Lafayette's lap, which overlapped John.

Neither seemed impressed. "Ah John is fine - aren't you honey?"

Instead John used Alex's leg to rest his elbows on top of it and he continued killing off another soldier on the screen. "You're so distracting..." John whined. Once John was back in the game, he didn't care about his soiled top. That could wait. Lafayette continues on playing too and he's dabbing away like crazy on one of the buttons.

"You're so distracting!" Alex mocks playfully and nudges his leg up so that John missed whatever it was he was shooting at. John casts him a look of utter annoyance and Alex snickered. "Oh for fucks sake, the pair of you are like them greasy basement dwellers that show up at all those conventions. Don't you both get bored playing games?" John looked so offended at Alex, he shoved him with his shoulder and Alex laughed more as he took a sip.

"Some of my friends go to those conventions!" John muttered. "Alex, stop being an ass." John could see Alex biting his lip in the corner of his eye, he was only fuelling Alex's fire and provoking him. Then Lafayette tuned in with a heavy sigh.

"Alexander, be nice. Do not make fun of others, everyone enjoys different things -" Lafayette groans when he's just gotten shot. He gets up a screen where he can change up his uniform and health quickly. Alex is just watching both his beloved ones completely glued to this game. He's watching Lafayette tap like a mad man on the control firing bullets like crazy and then back to John who was collecting what looked like magical jelly beans.

He shakes his head at the pair of them and lies further into the sofa's cushion. "Besides, Alexander if you were around, then you could have decided what we were to do next this evening." Lafayette doesn't see his husband smirk away there. "What took you so long Mon cher?"

With a shrug Alex casually says, "The three SSS's" and snorts his wine when he sees Lafayette's look of dismay. He doesn't say anything and goes back to the game play.

John's still got his eyes glued to the screen and he asks, "What's the three SSS's mean?"

And Alex immediately answers, just as Lafayette was about to tell John not to worry, "Shit, shower and shave." He just giggles to himself seeing John's face, he'd never heard of it. He was so young. "Hey you _asked_ honey!"

Lafayette doesn't even bother telling Alex off anymore, he's given up. Then Alex speaks up again, both Lafayette and John sigh. "Why don't you both play something worthwhile, throw on a racing game. Hell, I'll even play. Anything other than this shit."

John turns to Alex with an offended expression and Lafayette hisses, "It is not 'shit' Alexander!"

"It is!" Alex laments as he laughs. He's swallowing another greedy mouthful of wine before adding, "John's collecting fuckin' jelly beans -"

"Actually they're colourful balls of light!" John all but growls, Alex holds up a hand as he backs up a little and just laughs in John's face.

"Balls of fuckin' light then! Laf, baby, you've pissing around with your weird character's outfit - why has it gone pink skin? Jesus, you've been deciding what it's wearing for the last five minutes!" Alex exclaims, his hand curled in a grip at them both. "How can this be fun? This isn't a game!"

"It is!" Both John and Lafayette shout.

"It's not!" Alex cried back and this time Lafayette slaps Alex's knee, it isn't too hard but enough for Alex to take the hint. He's chuckling away there to himself and withdrawing his leg from them both.

"Alexander, if you do not want to play then go to your office or read. Me and John are quite happy playing." Lafayette states and he's gone back to messing around with his character's hairstyle. Alex just rolls his eyes.

That is when John pipes in, "Yeah. Alex aren't you always writing?"

"Non-stop" Lafayette throws in.

Alex's face drops at the pair of them just backing each other up.

"He's never off that laptop when I'm at work," says John, he's firing another arrow at some other player. "Shame he can't go off and leave us alone-" Lafayette is snickering with a laugh of his own. He darts his eyes to see Alex huddled in the corner of the sofa frowning at them both. Alex is quiet for probably five minutes, it allows Lafayette and John to get on with their game play. Then out of the blue Alex says, "Mario Kart"

"Huh?" says John.

"What was that Mon cher?" Lafayette asks.

Alex scoffs at his husband, he's finishing off his wine, hacking at the taste of it as he does. "Why don't you both play Mario Kart? We can all have a go then."

So John look at Lafayette who looks down at him. They come to an agreement since Alex is kind of left out there, they save where they're up to with the game and Lafayette puts on Mario Kart.

John is surprised just how good Alex is on Mario Kart. He's going against Lafayette and John is watching them both. "Damn, Alex you're actually doing well." John says teasingly. Lafayette snickers and Alex who's sat on the floor between John and Lafayette, he gives John dangling foot there a small slap.

"It is the only game Alexander knows how to play, isn't that right Mon cher?" Lafayette says and he's making princess peach whirl around past some coins. "Alexander, tell John your secret."

At this John's eyebrows rise. "He's got a secret?"

Alex hisses "fuck shit" under his breath when he makes an impressive turn before saying, "What? I don't have a secret."

"Yes you do, Alexander plays this at work." Lafayette just giggles. "He became better at it, so he could beat a colleague."

"A colleague?" John asks in question.

When Alex manages to get Yoshi to swivel around and make a dive over a bridge of flames, he actually does a fist pump and shouts 'Yes!'. John can't help but laugh at just how enthusiastic Alex is with Mario Kart, out of all the things. Then Alex puts in, "It isn't a secret, Washington, who's _even_ my fucking boss recommends it." He's got Yoshi jumping over another bridge. "We always make a bet and there is no way in hell, I'm losing to that fuckin' pompous, mother-fucking, dick-wit, Jefferson."

John just laughs out loudly. "Alex, hun, you gotta calm down." Alex shoots him a look there, their eyes meet and John tilts his head. He didn't realise it's the first time he's ever called Alex 'hun'. John never really went with pet names. Then he catches on and he's turning back to the screen, still trying to laugh it off and hide his rosy cheeks.

Lafayette has peach do some kind of magical move and he's got her flying past Alex's Yoshi. "You two need to learn to get along, Jefferson is not all that bad Alexander."

Alex growls at his husband's move and Lafayette is sat smirking. Oh yes. "You don't have to work with him, babe. I'm stuck on the next project with the fucker too up in that rumpus! Not to mention - fuck! Mother-fucking fuck!" Alex raises his control to his eye level and he's wiggling the control crazily. Once he's got Yoshi diving past Lafayette he's satisfied. "He's got Madison with him too. Oh and I'm pretty damn sure they're dicking too. But after last time, Jefferson has some damn nerve -"

"Did you gift him the bottle of champagne from us for Christmas, Alexander?" Lafayette asks and he's rounding a corner with peach.

Alex lets out a 'pfft'. "Sure did, shoved it up his fuckin' ass!"

"Alexander!"

With a sigh, Alex says, "Alright, alright. Yes, babe. I did. Off you, not me." They're both crossing the finish line, Alex had come first and he raises his hands up in the air victoriously. "Yes! Hell yes!" Lafayette just rolls his eyes and crosses his arms.

"Perhaps if you made the effort to be civil with him, things would not have to be so complicated." Lafayette says snootily. He sounds like a sore loser and Alex turns to grit at his husband's knee. It was all in good fun, he gives Lafayette's thigh a pat too.

"Babe, you only like him because he likes France. I'm sure of it." Lafayette says something in French and Alex just spanks his thigh this time. They both smirk and chuckle at each other naughtily. John is there watching, it isn't that he feels uncomfortable but more or less, just out of place again. "So, I won and that means I get to decide what happens next..." That dark tone in Alex's voice didn't go amiss at all.

John's ears perk up at this and Lafayette looks at Alex intently, waiting. Alex bites his lip as he looks to John and then to his husband. "I decide that... you both make out." John scoffs at Alex for a second and Lafayette shrugs unbothered. He's down it seemed.

"Alex, since when did this go from a game of Mario to truth or dare?" John asks, his grin nervous.

Alex sits up on his knees and faces the pair of them there on the sofa. "Just now honey."

John's expression was priceless.

"Rule is, every time someone wins, they gotta decide who does what. That's the game we're playing now baby boy."

This did not sound good at all. John didn't mind kissing Lafayette again but he was worried just what this all may turn into. He had visions of them all having some kind of orgy there on the sofa. He knows Alex has done this on purpose. But at the very same time, John found it pretty hot.

Alex was eyeing him up, looking at traces of any worry or uncertainty on John's face. John ridded any of them and he nods. "Sure okay." Then he looks to Lafayette who's staring right back at him.

John shuffles over to Lafayette, he's there on his knees and he's unsure what to do with his hands. John feels really stiff with having Alex watch them, it's weird but John proceeds anyway. He's inching his head up to Lafayette's and Lafayette begins to shift, he's grabbing John lightly by the waist and John presses his lips to Lafayette's. The kiss isn't as steamy as before, John isn't really working with Lafayette who is obviously trying and when Lafayette tries to put his tongue in his mouth, John just gives his lips a kiss and ends it there.

Alex sighs aloud. He's rocking back and forth on his knees there in anticipation, he'd hoped for better. Lafayette runs a hand through John's curls soothingly and Alex gripes, "Oh jesus, I said make out. The hell was that?"

"Alexander" Lafayette scolds, he knows John is probably feeling shy. He presses a kiss to John's forehead and continues petting his curls.

That's when Alex dropped the controller, he's edging forwards there on his knees and he's lifting himself up slightly on Lafayette. He looks to John with a devious smile. "Watch honey" and before Lafayette can even protest, he's caught off guard by Alex who gives Lafayette the kiss of his life. John had never seen them properly kiss like this before.

Then that's when it sunk in just how real and raw it was right now. The situation that John was in and who he was in it with.

Lafayette automatically slumps down there in his seat, he's got Alex climbing up shamelessly into his lap, who's rutting him as they're kissing. Hands all over the place, John notes how Lafayette's hands are down on Alex's ass in his joggers and he can see the firmness of his grip on one of Alex's cheeks. Alex has his arms wrapped around Lafayette's neck, John could see just how lovingly the action was and he wondered if this is how Alex kissed Lafayette on their wedding day.

There was lip biting, tongues tying and the wet sound of kissing mingling in with Mario Kart's soundtrack in the room. John could feel his crotch tighten just watching them. He's flustered again, he wants to be a part of what they're doing but at the same time he didn't because he was scared. They were married, they're supposed to do this, it was natural for them to just fit together like a jig-saw puzzle. John was an outsider still.

Then all of a sudden John's out of his trail of morbid thoughts when he can feel Alex's hand slip on to his bulge. Alex with his eyes closed and between kissing his husband manages to get out, "Fucking - knew - it" and he's palming John's cock through his jeans.

Lafayette stops kissing Alex for a moment and he's looking to a blushing John. "What, Mon cher?"

"He's hard as a rock!" Alex giggles against Lafayette's lips. Then Alex turns his dark brown eyes back to Lafayette's and he's got this naughty, naughty grin. "Think we should, hm?" Lafayette just bites his bottom lip and he's chuckling.

"If he wants to Mon cher." Lafayette turns back to John.

So Alex unravels his arms from his husband, he's shifting on the sofa from Lafayette's lap and he's throwing his arms around John this time instead. John squeaks and he's landing there on his back with Alex on top of him. He kisses Alex back passionately too, John has his fingers in Alex's damp hair and he relishes just how baby soft it feels from his shower.

"Want us to help you out?" Alex asks, it sounds innocent but John detects just how perverted it is at the same time.

"I thought you'd never ask" John says and Lafayette is getting up, he's going to the other side of John.

"It seems you are optimistic now, non?" Lafayette chuckles and as he does, John sits up and so does Alex. With that Lafayette takes him by the mouth and John is humming into the kiss.

"Just let yourself go, don't hold back." Alex tells him.

With Lafayette and John tonguing each other, Alex watches them for a moment just to take the sight in. He sighs in delight. "That's it, fuck. My two gorgeous men." He says and John wheezes a laugh into the kiss. It's the way Alex said it, he sounded so proud.

So John did let himself go, he relaxed and roamed his hands around the front of Lafayette's shirt, he caught his collar and pulled him down a little. Lafayette continued to kiss him, moaning a low growl into John's mouth and so Alex set to work. He moved forwards on his knees there on the floor. He opened John's legs that bit wider so he could move in-between.

Alex is watching them with a crude smirk on his lips. He's unbuckling John's belt all at the same time, as he's got it un-done, he's dropping downwards and slipping John's firmed cock out of his briefs. Alex has to hold in his laughter, John has the Teenage Ninja Turtles on them. He can see the logo on their hem and he doesn't say anything this time. John and his turtles could wait another day. But until then, Alex was going to drink John dry.

Lafayette continued to kiss and nip down John's throat until he felt him begin to relax again. Alex's his hand never ceasing its varied rhythms and he's lowering himself down further so that his mouth captures John's glistening cock.

"Oh shit" John's sharp tone were cut off by a low growl of pleasure as Alex's dick-filled hand shifted its motions, adding a slight twist to the stroke just as it reached the edge of his sensitive head. "Ah... oh... un! Alex!" John whines.

"Concentrate on me, Mon petit" Lafayette purrs into John's mouth as he sought another kiss. Whispering his lips now down John's blushing throat he murmured, "If you take deeper breaths you'll feel the sensations more intensely."

Lafayette watched as John cautiously heeded his instructions and he observed that within a few moments Alex's hand resting among them was gripping John's cock tightly. Lafayette relished witnessing his John as he tried to hold back, but still he wanted to see more.

With Alex's sucking and jittering John's cock. Lafayette breaks away to say, "John" his voice gently treaded into John's pleasure. "Will you please look at me? I want to see your face when you come."

Despite the sheer embarrassment Lafayette's request elicited within John. These emotions were swept away relatively quickly as the tingled build rose up within John's balls and overflowed down his shaft.

"F-Fuck…" John's breath had grown ragged and shallow again as his tension mounted.

Alex continued to stare at John and bobbed his head as he did. Lafayette sought John's mouth again and he was overflowing with emotions he'd never had before. Two people work on his body, one on his lips and the other on his cock. He felt light-headed.

Shifting his gaze, Alex watched the quiver of John's tight belly, felt the tension in thighs. "Oh no you don't," Alex teased as his hand stopped its stroking. "Not yet honey". John actually whimpered there in Lafayette's mouth. Lafayette just smiled into the kissing.

"Fuck!" John growled in frustration when Alex's hot hand left his cock and his withering skin immediately missing the contact. "Alex... more... Jesus..."

Alex had shifted, he's too busy watching John beg for it and his husband eat off his face. John felt a hand grab his shaft again, but tight at the base now to keep him from coming. Alex's other hand slid down between his legs and began to tease his balls.

"Remember how you were teasing daddy earlier?" John lets out a mighty whined, god he had forgot for a second about that. Alex laughs throatily at his face. "Pay back is a motherfucker, isn't it kitten?"

It really was and John realises just how much it was when Alex's wanton made him like this, as if he couldn't resist it. He felt his lewd body betray him, as his thighs opened exposing himself, giving Alex more access. Hips thrust as he tried to make the restraining hand at his base ease him. Alex teased further, allowing some friction and then withholding.

Alex glowed with pleasure at how John responded to his attentions. He watched John's head tip back, Lafayette kissing and sucking at it, Alex watched how the strong length of his throat pulled taut, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly with his labored breaths. John's growling gasps increased as Alex shifted from fondling the tender sac to stroking the skinned seam between this and John's entrance, massaging his prostate externally.

Cresting waves of pleasure crashed over John and reoccurring jolts coursed through his groin. All his pride and pleasured-pain collided as the tension continued to mount. Alex's firm grip prevented him from climaxing, but even so his dick was thickly weeping. Each time he thought he might be reduced to begging for release, John dug a bit deeper and found a new reserve of endurance.

Watching him, Alex could tell John was reaching his limit. While there was a part of him that longed to hear John's sweet pleas, he had also become acutely aware of the fragility of his pride too. He enjoyed watching John fall apart.

"Daddy!" John's face crumpled in desperation. Lafayette pulled away for a second, he's turning to Alex with his brow raised up in surprise. It was the first time Lafayette had properly heard John call Alex that in person, or well, in sex.

Alex licked at his bottom lip and went back to biting it. He's looking at Lafayette. "Isn't he just the cutest?" He giggles to his husband.

"Je pourrais le manger il est si mignon Alexander" Lafayette says huskily in John's ear. John actually 'gulped'. He had no idea what that meant but it sounded dangerous and he's looking to Alex for answers.

With a short chuckle Alex takes hold of his cock again and flips it back and forth playfully. "Don't worry honey, Laf doesn't bite too hard." He's shooting a glance at Lafayette who is snickering with him. John complains at them to get on with it.

As John's frustrated grunts became increasingly articulate, Alex knew that soon, whether John wanted to or not, a plaintive word would soon follow. Rather than force this however, he released his grasp and slid his hand up John's pulsing cock in a flurry of strokes.

The forthcoming plea turned into a primitive cry of release.

Alex's hand covered the head of John's cock and was immediately filled with milky spurts of seed. "Oh look at that!" Alex cried. "You're such a good boy, cumming for daddy. You're the bestest little thing ever. Fucking diamond, you're beautiful when you're like this honey." Lafayette grinned in agreement.

When all of John's ecstatic convulsions finally ceased, Alex sat back of his heels and licked at his sticky hand. John couldn't even find the energy to pull a look of disgust but Lafayette did. "Alexander, go and grab some tissues. That's disgusting!"

"No it isn't -" He says and licks the last splurge of grizzled cum between his fingers. "It's our sweet little Johnny's juice!"

All John did was close his eyes, he completely allowed that comment to wash over him and well that did for Lafayette. He gave John one last kiss before getting up and he's telling them both he's going to the bathroom for tissues. That left John and Alex alone for a moment.

John's still got his dick out there and he's just basking in the moment. Alex is getting up on the sofa next to him and dropping down in a heap on John's lap. Alex looks up at him from where he was, John's still panting and Alex takes him gently by the chin. His thumb swirling around it sweetly.

"Thank you honey." Alex's dark big brown eyes are glimmering. He looks content, pleased somehow and John was about to ask him about what he meant until Lafayette came charging back in with tissue paper. He's throwing it at Alex and telling him to wipe his hands properly.

Lafayette manages to pry John up and Alex wipes him down but decides it's probably best that John takes a bath. John realises by this point that he's staying the night, which is fine and he's past the point of caring about boundaries. He's still in a haze from his orgasm and just agrees on the spot.

So Lafayette runs him a bath and Alex, who has already taken a shower gets in with John anyway just because. Alex asks Lafayette to join but Lafayette said he will be taking a shower in their ensuite. John knows that it may be too soon to have something else go down after all, tonight was a big step for them all. John thinks back to Lafayette's offer and he needs time to think it over.

He lets Alex wash his hair since Lafayette didn't mind sharing his bottles of 'mixed curls' conditioner and shampoo. John lies there on his arms on the edge while Alex combs through his curls and he ends up braiding it. John jokes about Alex braiding hair and Alex swats him at the back of the head with the comb, only lightly though.

Then he lets John in on a secret about how when he was a kid, somewhere in a run down apartment in the city during the late eighties, a girl from one of his ex-foster families taught him how. John smiled as he listened to Alex witter on about his memories growing up there, it was nice. John enjoyed getting to know the real Alex but it was a shame that he wasn't going going to be by his side. He couldn't.

After their bath and Lafayette's long, long shower. They settled for one more round of Mario Kart, but they played it normally this time and another movie. It was time for bed when no one could keep their eyes open anymore. John was leaning against Alex who was sandwiched between him and Lafayette.

With a loud yawn, Lafayette staggers when he stands up. He's giving a good stretch, John peers slyly to have a good look at how Lafayette's shirt ride up his toned stomach. Damn and every single time he sees any part of Lafayette, he completely goes to bits inside. Even just by yawning he looked so sexy. Lafayette catches his eye as he does and he sleepily smirks. "Little John, mon petit. Are you ready? I see you are falling asleep too."

Alex leans his head back to John and nudges him in his leg. "Are you going with Laf, hun? I'm gonna switch everything off here and clean up." He's gesturing to the piles of snacks, used up tissues, glasses and wine bottles out on the coffee table.

That was when John felt himself freeze up inside. John is looking around and he's sitting upright. "Is it okay if I stay up?" Lafayette shook his head.

"It is very late" Lafayette tells him, he's grabbing out his phone from the pocket of his sweat pants. Then when ooking at it Lafayette adds, "It is 1.55 in the morning cheri."

But John just shrugs, he didn't care. He wanted to get out of sharing a bed with them. Doing this, messing around on the sofa was one thing. Blow jobs and kissing were one step but actually getting in bed, touching and sleeping next to them. John knew more would happen and he wasn't ready for things to go in that direction just yet. Alex grabs the remove and he's switching off the TV.

"I stay up till three some nights" John says as if it makes the matter any better.

Alex clasps his knee and he squeezes it. "You're a student, we know, we get that. We, however, baby, aren't. Laf has been up since dawn, grabbed a seven hour plane journey home and that's before having countless meetings with other people he works with." Alex says with a yawn.

John rolls his eyes, he didn't need this lecture. Alex sees him do it and he swats John's leg, his eyes go stone cold serious. "I on the other hand, have been hounded all day by my boss, sorting out shit other people are supposed to do and working out finances. Honey, we're exhausted." Alex throws back his head just to prove a point.

Then Lafayette steps in and says, "Alexander, if he wants to, then let him. It is okay." At this Alex looks at his husband with a frown. "He isn't a child, Mon cher. He can do what he wants." John looked to Lafayette, the back of Alex's head facing him and John mouths a 'Thank you' to him.

Alex just sighs through his nose. "Fine" He said and that was that. He hands the remote to John who switches it back on. "Keep it on low or it's going off." Alex says sternly to him, John bites back a winning smile. Lafayette gives Alex a hand with the glasses, snacks and whatever else was left on the table. John bids Lafayette goodnight, he even gets a peck on the forehead off of him too.

"Also-" Alex adds. "Keep the thermostat on!" He's staring at Lafayette this time. Lafayette says something about it getting to hot during the night and they bicker as they're heading into the kitchen.

John takes out his phone from the borrowed joggers he's wearing. Alex let him lent yet another pair. He's scrolling around on Instagram, his heart sinks when he sees Peggy and some of her other friends out on the town in Rome. She was laughing so hard in one picture, glass of whatever in her hand and clearly living life. He really missed her and John couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy. He kept reminding himself that they were best friends.

He could hear Lafayette and Alex talk among themselves there in the kitchen. It was in French and John pretended to do whatever it was he was doing. But really he was listening. He knew it would be about him although Lafayette did tell him that him and Alex communicated mostly in French. The way Alex spoke French had its imperfections but it always amazed John just how amazing of a person Alex was. Bilingual, handsome and funny. He ticked all the boxes.

Lafayette spoke it beautifully, naturally it rolled off his tongue and he was comfortable, far more comfortable than speaking English. There were no hesitations, pauses where he had to think of what he needed to say and John felt left out even just by hearing them too. It was his own fault he realised, he clicks off Instagram. He was neglecting Peggy, she was free to have other friends of course but John knew he hadn't been there that much for her recently.

As for Lafayette and Alex, they had their own thing going on and John knew no matter how much Alex sucked his cock, no matter how many times he bedded them, they were never really his. He remembers just how much passion went into that kiss between them both earlier. Clinging on to each other like their lives depended on it. John's mood fell lower than it had in a long time. His confidence was in the shit again and he just wanted to alone right now.

Thankfully Lafayette bid Alex goodnight and he heard them kiss as this happened. John's eyes clenched shut and his hands grit tightly on his phone.

Alex is putting away the glasses and plates before he's coming over to check on John. He leans over the sofa and stares down at John who's playing some game on his phone. Alex gives John's braid a small tug. "You coming to bed honey?"

John just shakes his head. He didn't feel like talking or looking at Alex. Alex senses something is off.

"What's wrong?"

He knows something is up.

But John shrugs him off. Alex sighs and he's leaning down further over the sofa so he's in level with John. "John, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Alex." John says. He tries to not sound too pissed off. "I'm just... I'm tired."

"Then come to bed," Alex tells him quietly. There is a moment that passes and Alex is watching him play his game. Then he goes, "Ah I see what it is. Fucking hell, honey, we're too _tired_ to fuck. C'mon, come to bed. Laf is probably passed out by now."

Alex knew exactly what was wrong, like always. John shakes his head again. "I can never win with you! Okay, fine. You know where we'll be."

So Alex leaves him be and goes to join Lafayette in bed. It's probably an hour since Alex went to bed and John is still awake. He decides to give up with his game and so he turns off his phone. He switches off the TV and he's there in the dark. Well, there is the night light from the kitchen that's kept on though.

Then John looks to the large window, the city view right there, it always ceases to amaze him, with the dotted lights from racing cars and skyscrapers. It's beautiful he thinks and John lies down there on the sofa. He's staring at it, each and every car that passes eventually lulls him to sleep.

At some point during the night John is awakened by a hand shaking his shoulder. He's half asleep, he mumbles and he's looking up at a figure there through blurred vision.

"Stop being stupid, John, come to bed." It's Alex.

John goes back to closing his eyes and turns over. "M'fine here" He murmurs. There is a sigh and the patter of footsteps, he can hear Alex come around the sofa and John feels the seat next to him dip.

"You're so stubborn." Alex tells him

Within seconds John can feel the softness of a blanket cover him and he feels Alex's arms wrap around his waist. "Budge" So John scoots over a bit, so that Alex can properly spoon him. There is plenty of room for them since the sofa is wide enough though and John can feel Alex's breath with it's tint of white wine tickle his ear. It's soothing.

"Jack" Alex calls against him, even the vibrations from Alex's voice warmed up. Sent shivers down his spine and sparks all over his body. 

"Mm" John muffles.

There was a halt of silence.

"I am your boyfriend you know, if something is wrong, you can tell me anything."

At this John's eyes pinged open slightly. So that was what they were, Alex had finally told him. They were together, they were official. John smiled as he re-closed his eyes and he felt guilt swarm up inside his gut. It swirled and churned.

It was the little precious moments like this that had John regret what he was really up do. He was cruel, he didn't deserve them. He confused them, he was leading them along. But a part of him wanted to stay for as long as he could.

"I know" He answers softly.

That night he carried a heavy heart as he slept and silently cried himself to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> French translation:
> 
> * Je pourrais le manger il est si mignon Alexander = I could eat him up! He is so cute Alexander
> 
> And so another chapter is done! 
> 
> Our little John is still insecure :( but hey at least he has a boyfriend now! Well... we'll see how it goes. 
> 
> Thank you for the love on the last one :) I appreciate all the kudos and feedback!


	11. PLAY NICELY

Over the next month John was putting more and more effort into his project. He had layouts of sketches everywhere, all his notes highlighted and all sorts of cuttings of his characters on this moodboard he'd created - well really it was just a small wooden board with pins he found at Target and sketches of his characters stuck on it. Then he had to invest in a new tablet since his old one had, had its day and with the money Alex had gave him, John easily was able to afford one of the best on the market.

He had sent a picture of it to Alex, it was always nice to show Alex his work plus the stuff John buys and added a sweet 'Thank you daddy X' along side. It was becoming that way where John sometimes bought Alex things when they met up. John hadn't seen Alex as much since he was too invested with college and Alex had this huge workload he had to get done.

But when they did have time it was John who always arrived earlier than Alex and he usually got the drinks in first and although it was a one off. John did pass a flower shop on his way to the station and got Alex a red rose.

Well god, Alex was over the moon with it. John honestly thought he would laugh and ask him, just what the hell he was going to do with a flower. But no, it turned out Alex liked them secretly, he called John who was blushing away 'a little romantic' and wore the Alex behind his ear all night. Then towards the end of their date, John made the bold move to take the rose from Alex's ear and park it in his hair instead.

With a cheesy laugh between them and a few kisses, John could tell he was being swept away by Alex's flowing current all the more now. His boyfriend, Alexander Hamilton. For now, at least.

When Valentines day was just around the corner, John decided he would get Alex a card and maybe a bit of something. Although John wondered if it was too soon, him and Alex hadn't been together that long. But he wanted to just to show his appreciation anyway. Then John thought about Lafayette, him and Lafayette weren't really anything, not yet or maybe, not ever. Even so, John grabs Lafayette one just because he feels guilty giving only Alex one, then addresses the gift to both of them.

And it was no surprise when John gets a text message which asked if they could meet up. John was just in the middle of finishing up with one of his edits and if he were honest, he could use a break right now. He looked at the time in the corner of his screen, he had been at this for over four hours now. John leaned back in his chair and stretched. His eyes darts to the red envelopes slid in the corner of his board there, hanging above his laptop.

One addressed to Alex and the other Lafayette. Then there was the gift for them both, which wasn't just the one between his loins, but it was in its gift bag at the side of his bed.

So with everything saved on his laptop, he shut it down, then John got up and he has a quick work out. A few push ups, sit ups and a round with his his small weights. There wasn't much time for his jog so this would have to do for today.

He's grabbing a quick shower. Then a change of clothes, just a simple shirt and some dark jeans, topped with his trusty vans. It was the first time he'd been dressed all day.

While throwing his curls into a messy bun, John ties around his trusty old scarf and coat Alex got him. He figured he looked fine and so he's gathering everything else, the cards, the gift bag was shoved into his bag. Sorted. 

Although Alex hadn't said whether or not this was a formal date. Since usually he hated dressing up, not because he was a student, but generally John was just too laid back. He didn't care if his hair looked too bushy sometimes, he wasn't bothered how beat up his sneakers looked or whether things matched. As long as he didn't look too bad or dirty, he didn't care. 

He never really got out of his little emo phase either from wearing old band shirts, with skate park shoes and tight jeans. Back home in Charleston there was many a time his father would complain and all him 'messy'. That was before he would even bring up his long hair, which apparently made him look worse. 

Another reason which John was glad he missed New Year at home too. He got out of wearing a suit.

But either way, Alex was just going to have to deal with it if it wasn't dressy enough. But there were times now since he was visiting Alex and Lafayette that John did worry he looked too out of place. Alex and Lafayette always looked smart, polished off and tidy.

Lafayette probably more so than Alex, because Alex did have his rough days. But Lafayette seemed to hate even just as much as having a curl out of place on his head or a stain on his shirt. The man was constantly immaculate, in an unobtainable kind of way.

With another once over in front of his mirror, John was then snatching his keys off his desk, wallet, phone and out the door.

Alex had asked John to meet him on the other side of town at some bar and it came as a surprise when John was the one stumbling late. It took him a while to figure out which street since Google maps was glitching, he had to ask a few passers by where the place was and eventually he did manage to find it.

It was a fancy looking bar with all these pastel flowers hanging down from the windows and doorway. The place was fairly busy for a friday afternoon but not too hectic. Alex was sat on one of the chairs outside and he hadn't noticed John yet. He was busy on his phone, so John with a devious smile on his lips quietly walked up to him and he's bending down over Alex.

"Why hello there, daddy." and John presses a quick kiss to Alex's lips.

He stands upright once he's done that and Alex is swirling around to him. A wide smile on his face and he splutters, "Jesus christ, talk about no warning." Alex laughs, then says. "Hey you" and he's getting up from his seat. John is waiting as he does before Alex wraps an arm around his frame.

"It isn't like you to be late, you must be rubbing off on me." Alex said teasingly. John sees that perverted look on Alex's face and he gives him a light budge in his side.

John leans into the crook of Alex's neck for a slight second as they start to walk inside the bar. "Well, as always, Alex you pick a place that's far away and difficult to find." Alex just chuckles at him.

"Honey, you know I've gotta keep things interesting." He says and John frowns slightly. He always found Alex interesting, Alex was never not interesting. "New York is a big place, there are all these hidden gems. Why go to the same places?"

He had a point. John nods in agreement. "Guess, that's true." Alex pulls John that bit closer and kisses him upside his head. As they're walking inside, John catches glimpse of Lafayette there at the bar. He's chatting away to one of the staff members and there are already drinks in his hands.

"I know I said it was just gonna be us, but Laf wanted to join, is that okay?" Alex asks him, his face crumpled with somewhat of a smile and awkward look. John nodded, he didn't really mind anymore whether Lafayette tagged along. John had found himself getting used to it.

"Sure" says John.

Alex squeezed his side lovingly, almost as if to apologise in some way and adds, "It's our only day off today and we can't do actual the Valentines day, since we're both working the entire day honey."

"Ah it's fine" John didn't really mind at all. Alex looks to him then he move closely to John's ear. The bar was busy enough, no one was really looking at them though John found but that didn't help his cheeks from filling up with colour.

"Guess we can celebrate early, hm baby boy?" John chews his lips and Alex knows whenever he does that, it means John is thinking long and hard. But really it does mean 'yes' since John always agrees and goes along with whatever it is anyway. John's eyes dart to Alex's and he's giving him a knowing look. Alex snickers and cheekily, his hand slips down and lightly slaps John's ass.

"Alex!" John mutters and he's looking to see if anyone saw. All Alex does is chuckle and he's unraveling his arm from around John, he turns to him with that naughty smile, eyes glimmering with the possibility of naughtiness yet to come later.

"Come on hun, Laf has already got the drinks in. Got you the usual, that okay?"

It was going to have to be. John didn't care though, he was grateful and says it's fine and follows Alex. Lafayette is already sat down at a table by the window, it's one of those fancy places John realised as they're heading further into the bar. They go down a few of the steps and where Lafayette is sat is by the dining area. The place was decorated mostly in white, they had these fancy flower hanging down even inside and beautiful lighting.

As they're sitting down, John and Lafayette's eyes meeting, he lets on to him with a shy smile and just gives a simple 'Hey' while Lafayette gives him the whole 'Mon cheri, nice of you to join us'. Alex snorts at how much of a hermit John has become in the space of five minutes and he gives him a soothing squeeze on his shoulder.

"Thanks for the drink." John says and he was still busy looking around. This was probably one of the nicest bars he'd ever been to. It was overly feminine but he was still appreciative of the place.

"Do you like this place, cheri?" Lafayette asks brightly, he's taking a drag of his cocktail and watches as John's eyes scatter all over.

"It's certainly... something." John says and he reaches for one of the hanging flowers there dangling by the window. They're so long that they're draping the floor.

"Laf picked it" Alex says after a huge gulp of his beer. "Can't you tell?" Lafayette shoots Alex a look, Alex just tilts his head and gives him a mocking smile.

John's still ruffling the flowers between his fingers. They weren't real but they literally looked like they were. "There's nothing wrong with that," and John looks to Lafayette, who's stirring whatever bright blue concoction he's ordered with a slight pout still from Alex's teasing. "Well, I think it's gorgeous here. You've got good taste Laf." Then Lafayette turns to John with a sweet smile.

"See Alexander, Mon petit here, knows when a place holds utter elegance. Not a dark, dingy pub." Lafayette sighs.

Alex rolls his eyes dramatically as he set down his beer. "They're supposed to be dark! You've been to England plenty of times, jesus, haven't you ever set foot inside one?" and Lafayette nods, he doesn't look impressed.

"Indeed, I have Mon cher and the first time I did, was also the last." John found himself grinning at Lafayette's sass. Alex looks to John and he nudges him under the table, he looked utterly betrayed.

"You two are fuckers." Alex spits as he's taking hold of his beer for a swig. Well John just snorts aloud.

Lafayette crosses his arms and he leans back in his seat. "Perhaps we are, although, do pardon myself for wanting to spend the day in a romantic setting." John is watching them both, his eyes go back and forth.

Alex lets out a fake gasp and he's turning to John. "Honey, did you hear that? He's saying I'm not romantic!" This has Lafayette somewhat smirking and John just laughs.

"Well, you know Alex. With Valentines day and all, you've gotta give a man what he wants." John slides his eyes away and he's taking a sip of his pint. Within seconds John's thigh is being manhandled by Alex's hand, he can feel it slide further up his jeans and slides down to the inner of his thigh. John gives Alex a firm look and Lafayette must've caught on because he's biting his lip in suspense of what's happening between the two.

"I meant taking your husband to a nice place!" John cries. "Dude!"

Alex and Lafayette just laugh while John is fussing with his chair, shifting it away from Alex slightly and muttering about him being pervy in public. They have a couple more drinks and chat. Alex has a good bitch about this so-called Jefferson he's working with, before the conversation shifts to Lafayette talking about major changes he has to make for his company, then having more meetings back home in France and how stressful it could get. Then he brings up the positive side of going back to Paris and seeing some of his family.

John gets a glimpse of Lafayette's little cousins on his phone, it's the first time he'd seen any of his family. He explains to John that he cannot have social media because of his job and discretion was highly important. So pictures were all Lafayette could really keep and his anonymous gaming account.

Lafayette starts off with the ones on his mother's side with their wavy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Then he shows the ones on his father's side, beautiful little doll faced toddlers with rich chocolate skin, dimples and coiled curls. Lafayette loved to spoil them apparently and kept all of his aunts, uncles close.

Then there was a family photo with everyone, all stood behind a house that could have easily been mistaken as a palace but when John asked, he was told that it was one of his uncle's homes. John was mesmerised by the Parsian architecture, everything was so different, so fancy and had this fairytale vibe. John tells Lafayette his family were lovely and so was the house. Lafayette looked to Alex who was already smiling, pleased John was getting closer to his husband and taking an interest in getting to know him more. Lafayette tells John that someday, he may just see it for himself.

When it comes to John's turn to talk about what's happening in his life, he doesn't really have that much to tell them. Half of his time was being consumed by Alex and Lafayette, he put his attention on them more than anything else, despite Lava Java and his college work. He didn't have much to tell them about Peggy since he hadn't really seen her or spoke to her since she left for Italy.

Eliza had a girlfriend now, he told them that and Alex made a boyish comment about 'bumping tacos' which only earned him a small slap on the leg. Angelica found herself a boyfriend but they were always arguing apparently. He told them about Hercules, Alex already knew which guy John was talking about of course. He told them how Herc took all of the crazy pants and jackets he made to a recent show in New York to try getting his name out.

When it came to Martha and his other siblings John didn't know. He completely halted when he muttered out Martha's name, sure she had been texting him, but John wasn't really responding all that quickly to her. He knew he had to make it up to her soon and pay them all a visit. Both Alex and Lafayette noticed how John completely halted at his sister's name, they didn't press though. So they changed the conversation. 

After they finished up at that bar they had a pub crawl to another place not too far off. John got the round in this time, they did shots and had another handful of beers before leaving there too. John felt hazy, his legs were gradually turning to jelly and his speech was becoming slurred. While Alex found it highly amusing, he loved how adorable John was when he'd had a few but that was also, when Lafayette suggested enough was enough with the drinking. He dragged both John and Alex in a taxi where they pulled up at a nice Italian restaurant.

Lafayette paid the driver while Alex was hauling John out the car and leading a tipsy John inside. Eventually John did sober up with water only with his spaghetti dinner, Lafayette didn't want their first Valentines day together completely ruined for John simply because of drink. Alex somewhat agreed, although he loved just how mushy and cuddly John was when he was drunk.

Not to mention just how much more John ate when he was tipsy too. He even asked for pudding, which was unlike him but he had half of his tiramisu and tried to cram in the last half until Lafayette pulled the plate away from him. He didn't want John throwing up now.

John asked if they were going to another bar but Lafayette kept topping up his water and Alex was just cooing over how cute he was. Johns freckled cheeks all flustered and his eyes were glassy. Alex is still finishing his steak and Lafayette is having himself another wine. John wasn't pleased that he could not only either have soft drinks or water. He leans on the table, his chin in his hands as he pouts. Actually pouts!

"Can't I just have one-"

"No" Lafayette tells him firmly. He's grinning as he does - or he's trying not to. John is cocking his head to the side as he's staring at Lafayette. He tries to use that face, the big eyes and expression he does when he wants something from Alex, usually in sex though. Lafayette's eyes narrow and his smile turns more into a smirk. He knows what John's doing. "That isn't going to work, Mon cheri. It may with Alexander -" Alex then turns to his husband from his plate, he's looking between the two intensely. "But it won't with me."

Alex wipes his mouth quickly and he's swallowing before saying, "What's he doin' babe?" His eyes still darting between them both. John rolls his own and he face plants the table in a huff. He even lets out a little whimper in protest too. Both Alex and Lafayette look to each other, they're trying not to laugh.

"Little John here, is trying to charm me with that adorable face." Lafayette says between sips of his wine. "Although, he is mistaken if he thinks I will be easily moved by it." At his words, Alex snorts aloud and he's shaking his head, he's looking to John who's now peeping at them both from on the face.

All Alex can do is 'aw' since John just looks adorable. He leans over to pet his curls, his fingers threading them gently. "Poor baby boy" Alex purrs. Then there is a spark in John's eyes, he lights up and then swifts his attention over to Lafayette.

John begins to sit up again properly and he's leaning forward once again. He does the tilt of the head again, hands on his cheeks and he puffs them slightly, he's not taking his eyes off Lafayette's at all. Their gaze burrowing once another's heatedly and John decides to push it. Perhaps it's the drink encouraging him but he was going to try it tonight. See where they would go next. He felt braver and the confidence in him was flowing.

"Just one more" John pushes.

Lafayette's eyes turn from playful to dangerous. John bursts out with a splutter of a small giggle and Alex is prodding his husband, telling him to give in and get him another beer.

"You're a terrible influence Alexander" he shoots at Alex, he just shrugs while he's finishing up his steak and then Lafayette's glancing back to John. "And no, you cannot have anything else alcoholic. I would feel terrible if you were to-"

But John goes ahead, he lunges swiftly over the table at Lafayette's wine and he cheekily steals his glass. He's downing half of it all while keeping eye contact with him and Lafayette's mouth dropped. He was seething. Alex snickered and he's wiping his mouth, complete finished with his food. He has to try not to choke as he swallows, he's clutching his stomach and laughs full on.

"Oh my fuck! Honey, you're so bad!" Alex chuckled, he bites his lip as he switches his glance over to Lafayette. Although Lafayette was good at keeping himself calm and composed which is what he appeared to look like.

Alex knew deep down his husband wasn't pleased, but he knew Lafayette found this ordeal just as fun as he did. The only thing John didn't know was just how beastly Lafayette could get when he got going.

Lafayette let out a lengthly huff through his nostrils, his eyes were gleaming and then he smiled eerily to Alex. "Mon cher, could you please _scold_ your little one."

Glancing between the pair of them, John was still sat there with that whole tilt of the head, his eyes all wide and this mischievous smile playing on his lips. He wanted to push them both. Maybe their evening will take an interesting spin on things. Alex raises his brow as he takes a mouthful of wine, he clears his throat as he does and gives another shrug. "And say what?" Lafayette gives Alex a soft boot with his foot into his shin.

"Tell him no more drink!" Lafayette sighs.

Alex slyly drifts his eyes over to John who's staring to him, all cute and pretty. "Aw fuck, I can't say no to _that_!" Alex bites his lip again and looks back to his husband. "I mean I could, Laf, babe, but he isn't being naughty for me. He's being naughty for you." Alex says with a smirk. At this John gets it, he knows where this is going and exactly what Alex is implying. Almost as if he were secretly inviting Lafayette into what they had going on. That particular relationship.

Lafayette lets out an 'mm' and he's reaching back over for his wine. Him and John's eyes locking again. "I shall take this off your hands for you"

As he takes the glass away John lets out some kind of a whine and pouts. Both Alex and Lafayette find it highly amusing, not too long after Alex is the one paying the bill this time and John is outside waiting with Lafayette.

John has sobered up since earlier and he's yawning now. He's getting out his phone to check the time and it's already nearly twelve in the morning. It'd been a long evening for them all. The cold chilly February air is doing him the world of good though and he closes his eyes for a second to just breathe it in, let the alcohol brush off and just cool down after that heated event back inside.

His eyes open when he feels Lafayette step in front of him and he's playing around with his collar. Lafayette with his cigarette budged in the corner of his mouth, god John had a thing for him when he smoked. It wasn't the best habit of course and Alex complained constantly for him to stop. Alex even said that he got him a vape for Christmas and had yet to see Lafayette use it. He even got him strawberry and bubblegum flavours just to wean him on the thing.

"Laf?" John mumbles as he's looking down at the hands that are fumbling with his collar.

Lafayette is straightening him out and he's grabbing John's scarf. "What're you doing?" Then John's looking around him seeing how Lafayette coils the scarf around him, tucking and ducking it into a perfect knot. Typical of him to do something so sleek and fancy. "Wow" he lets slip out.

"There" Lafayette says, clearly pleased with his work. He's looking John up and down, his sleek dark eyes making John suddenly self conscious. He's looking away over the road. John wasn't that used to Lafayette doing this to him as he was with Alex. But once he can feel Lafayette's fingers slip back a curl dangling out of place by his ear, he turns his gaze back to him and he's looking him back directly in those eyes.

"Laf that's... thanks." John says and he gives him a small smile.

But Lafayette doesn't take his hands off him, his hand reaches into his hand at his bun and John can feel his fingers dance along it. Just because the moment felt quite right, John stands on his toes and he presses a swift kiss to Lafayette's lips. It's short but very sweet. He pulls back smiling. "Happy pre-Valentines day" and while Lafayette does look startled, they both then just laugh between them.

"You are something John Laurens" Lafayette tells him softly and he's got that look on his face, the same one he has for Alex sometimes. John's heart speeds up and he can feel his head go slightly lighter. He isn't used to that type of look from Lafayette. This endearing, heart-filled expression. John breaks eye contact and he just chuckles nervously. "Mon petit?"

"Sorry, uh, I'm sorry. I just... kinda tired. That's all." He lies.

Lafayette just gives a sigh, he flicks his cigarette elsewhere in the road and he pulls John in abruptly for a hug. There is the fencing just on the side of the road that they're leaning against. John doesn't even protest, he leans into Lafayette, his lean broad frame supporting him. Even the his cashmere sweater John could feel soft firm pecs. They feel nice against his cheek and without even realising John is nuzzling in affectionately. A cold gust of wind blows past them and John huddled into his hold even more. Lafayette chuckled as he does, he seemed unbothered by the cold there with his long coat on wide open and the window just wavering through him.

"Aren't you cold Laf?" John asks quietly.

Lafayette pets his hair some more as he looks down to him softly smiling still. His fingers still drifting in and out of his scalp, it feels good and John wants to fall asleep from it. "Ah, cheri. With Alexander and yourself, I am never cold." He said with a mild touch of laughter. John's cheek blossom with embarrassment and he shuffles his face into Lafayette's chest completely this time, while he continues to pet John's hair. "No need to be bashful now".

At that moment Alex is coming out of the restaurant, he's tossing over his red scarf around him and walking up to them both at the fence. Alex notices John with his face buried in his husband and Alex couldn't help but grin at the sight. His eyes lit up at the sight of them, two people he adored the most cuddled up together there waiting for him. Lafayette catches sight of him as he turns from John to look up at Alex coming over. Alex bobs his eyebrows at Lafayette with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

"You took your time Alexander" Lafayette says. John is looking up now that Alex is there.

At this Alex slips a hand on John's cheek sweetly and gives it a little pat. "Aw, you look exhausted" Alex tells John before he turns his attention back to his husband. "Yeah, their card machine in there kept fucking up. I asked if I got charged double but luckily I haven't."

Although Lafayette didn't look all that convinced since they had been waiting too long for him. "You were talking again, were you not." He raises a brow at Alex and Alex just bursts out with a cackle.

"Alright, alright, and that yeah. Some guy I used to work was in there, we ran into each other. I'm sorry! But the card machine really did fuck up!" Alex cried with a pleading expression. Lafayette stepped slightly closer to him with a smirk, his head high up as if to tell Alexander that he better be sorry. Alex mooches up a little on his feet and pecks him right on the lips. John stared at they did this and Alex was the one who caught John.

Knowing he had been caught, John glances away down the street for a second and Alex is grabbing him by his cheeks and pulling him into a lingering kiss. Then kisses him again just for good measure. John's flushed as they pull again and quite shocked from what had just happened. Lafayette is there chuckling away and Alex is staring into John's eyes intensely.

"Can't have you left out now, can we honey?" He teases. John's mouth turns into somewhat of a chagrin and he's looking away again, still red and riled up from them both.

So that now leaves the question as to what happens next. Alex looks to Lafayette and asks him, "What are we doing now then?"

"I think it may be time to probably head back Mon cher," Lafayette says with a stretch. "I have to be up for five"

He looks back down to John who hadn't really said anything. "Mon petit, are you coming back with us?" John didn't have to, he knew that already. Lafayette and Alex always gave him a choice. But most of the time now they presume he would just tag along.

Alex turns back to him as well, he's swaying back and forth there on his heels with his hands in his pockets. "Come honey, let's get you a bath and bed. Warm you up." Alex says to him.

John didn't mind, he really shouldn't though since he had a class in the morning but it wasn't as if he was failing. He could skip if he wanted.

As always John is nodding with a tiny smile. "Sure, I'm game". Alex pecks him on the side of the head and he loops his arm around John's. With John in the middle of them both, he feels safe and content all at the same time. His mind is still foggy from the drink and that was what is probably making him feel so overwhelmed with happiness.

The thought of going back to Alex and Lafayette's rather than his cold dorm by himself, it sent waves of pure joy through him and that emptiness he usually felt always filled whenever he went back with them. Being with them both, kissed and hugged by them both. It wasn't even their money that gave him this feeling, it was deeper than this and John knew it.

But every time he got too close to the edge of allowing himself to be loved, to feel it, he would always pull away. He couldn't stay with them. Not for ever. He just had to keep saying to himself for now, this was enough. With that he would be satisfied.

* * *

They took the subway this time mostly because Lafayette thought John could still use some air and walking to sober him up. Plus incase John puked, Lafayette nor Alex wanted the trouble of cleaning that up either. Not that they would mind but they didn't want John sick. So John was hauled on a busy train with them both, his balance not too bad, he swayed a little but Lafayette was behind him for support and Alex had hold on him by the arm.

Alex gripped John's arm even tighter when he saw the way another man was staring at John. Eyeing him up and down with a particularly strange look. But he seemed to stop when Alex narrowed his eyes at him. Even Lafayette caught on in the end and the man gets off at the next stop when Lafayette is glaring to no end. John is stood there completely oblivious.

When they get off Alex has one of his hands and Lafayette has the other. They're skipping his arms a bit since John is quite proudly singing out some song one of the girl's on board had blasting out. Alex hadn't a clue what it was and Lafayette just found John hilarious. He couldn't sing for shit but he was happy. Then it turned into a generational debate about music taste.

As they're heading into the penthouse, Lafayette opening up with his key, John and Alex were still bickering behind him. "Oh please, hun, half the stuff that is out today all sounds the fucking same." Alex says and John is rolling his eyes. "It does! Autotune does all the work."

John is kicking off his shoes there in the doorway and as he's doing it, Lafayette is pointing at him telling him to put them on the shoe rack by the door. Alex gives John's bun a little yank as he shouts "Ha!" but ends up pulling it back out so it's in a swaying pony-tail. "Fuck" Alex chuckled. "Sorry honey"

Doing as Lafayette told him to do, John pouts at Alex and frowns. He's watching Alex take off his scarf and hanging it up. "God, you're that offended, aren't you?" John snorts. Then he's taking off his coat too. "Not all of us are still stuck in the late nineties Alex."

Lafayette is stood shaking his head with a smile. He's slipping out of his coat too and adjusting his sweater. It's cashmere after all. He finds Alex and John's scrawling rather amusing. Alex scoffs at John, he's got his brow lifted and he was ready to start spitting fire. John had this cocky look on his face all while Lafayette was retying his hair up.

"One of the best decades ever, might I add" Alex throws in. Then he's lowering his gaze on John. Alex is only an inch taller than him but it does make John feel even smaller. "You know all those hits that were out before even when I was a kid? They'll be classics forever."

Then Alex boops him on the tip of his nose, prodding it as he repeats, "Ever"

John slaps his hand away and just sighs at him. "What's your point out of all this?"

"Your music sucks honey" Alex states with a laugh.

As John is walking past Alex, their eyes following one another as he does and John shoots him a smug look, with a shrug says, "Mm, well, it isn't my fault you're getting old, daddy."

Alex's mouth actually dropped open. John had never seen him look so outraged. Alex's eye twitched and he's just throwing his coat over the unit there in the doorway. John is backing away as he's facing Alex and they're still for a moment. Both eyes on each other and when John saw Alex inch forward, that when he decided to run.

The next thing he knew, he was being chased around the spacious living room. Lafayette was already on the sofa checking his phone and he's shot up from the screen to find the pair of them running around. "What is going on?" Lafayette is asking himself. He's looking at them both running around like children.

"You sassy little asshole!" Alex shouts.

Lafayette looked so confused, he had totally missed what had happened. He's kneeling up there on the sofa and shouting back, "What on earth is going on?! Alexander! John!"

But he was ignored and he's watching John behind the dining table on one side, Alex is on the other with a fierce grin on his face, he looked a mixture of murderous but obviously enjoying whatever was happening.

"Learn to take a joke Alex!" John shouts back at him, he's trying not to fall down laughing and surrendering to Alex all at the same time. "Damn you're such a wet blanket!"

At that comment Alex just groans aloud, John knows he is so in for it now and Alex is lunging for John again. John jumps backwards, Alex misses and he lunges again but John is too swift. He can't let Alex do whatever it was he was going to do to him.

Now just as John is edging to go one way and Alex follows him that side around the table, then John swiftly goes the other way and he's running to the back of Lafayette, who's on the sofa who is shouting at them both to stop.

"Who you callin' old!" Alex yells and he gives no fucks when he's jumping on the sofa, Lafayette gets up in shock and complains how one of the springs have just gone 'bang' from Alex's pounce. John didn't expect him to come bawling over the sofa, so he's running back the other way, he didn't even know Alex was this fast either. John was surprised just how speedy he was and Alex almost catches him by the pony-tail which is what he's aiming to grab.

Lafayette sits back down and tells them that they're both stupid and if any of them fall over, it's simply their own fault. He's waiting patiently, biding his time of course, Lafayette pretends to be on his phone but he's watching what they're doing, he knows either one of them are going to hurt themselves and when they did, he would finally step in. Tough love he thinks.

John knew he shouldn't but he was running up the stairs, he had no business really going up there, but the adrenaline in him was pumping and Alex after him just made everything feel all that more playful if he were to be nosey. Lafayette doesn't tell him off for going up, he didn't seem bothered, he can hear Alex though and John is breaking into Alex's office.

"You naughty little fucker!" He can hear him shout and Alex is literally right behind him, John had staggered up a few of the stairs when he ran up and Alex was faster, he usually always skipped a few of the steps.

John slammed the door right in Alex's face, he quickly flicks on the light and he's got it locked. He doesn't do anything in there, John had a quick glance around and he realised it was the first time he'd been inside here. It was messy, sheets all over his desk, his trusty macbook plugged in there and files all over the shelves. The shelving unit was full to the brim. Alex also had a thing for plants too. John even gave out some time to go 'aw' over the baby cactus on Alex's window sill.

Then he was snapped back to reality when there was banging on the door. "John, open up. Now." Alex gritted and he sounded completely serious this time. John knew he shouldn't be in here. Alex didn't even like Lafayette being in here and always complained whenever Lafayette came in to give the place a quick clean because he couldn't find his files.

But John felt like being bad, real bad. He bites back a giggle and he's jumping back when he feels the door rumble with forceful pushing. "Jesus, you trying to break the door down" John exasperates.

"Get out now" Alex firmly said behind the door. "I swear, I'm so, so done right now. John, open."

John giggles and that just pushes Alex's annoyance further. He's banging on the door once more and this time both of them could hear Lafayette complaining downstairs. Alex shouts back, "He's locked himself in my office!"

Then there was something else Lafayette was shouting but John couldn't fully hear.

"How can I? Yeah I know! He's in there though!"

Then he can hear Alex come closer to the door and he goes, "Laf is coming up in a minute, John, c'mon just get out."

John gives out a "mmm" and he can hear Alex heave a sigh. "Does daddy have something in here that I'm not supposed to see?" He sounds so very teasing, John laughs and Alex is just growling on the other side.

"Nope! Not in there, nothing, nada sweetie. But if you come out here, daddy does have something much better for you." Alex says, his voice lighter.

As John purses his lips, he can't help but ask, "Oh and what's that?"

"My foot up your ass." Alex quickly finishes. He snickered at Alex's answer. "John, fuck. Just come out, baby it's late. I'm tired, Laf is tired. We want to settle down, stop fucking around. Please."

Although John hates to admit, it is pretty late now and he is quite sleepy. "You promise?"

"Yeah, honey. Please, I'm not going to do anything to you. I'm over that now." Alex says and he sounds sincere enough.

"You promise, promise?" John pushes and he's biting his bottom lip. He shouldn't, he knows this is super bad.

Alex gives one more pound to the door and he grits out a "Yes!" so in the end John just gives in. He's unlocking the door and Alex is pushing it open. He is looking at John completely unimpressed. John stands back a little and Alex comes closer. While their eyes are locked, Alex takes John softly by the sides and he's pressing him against his desk on its edge.

"You shouldn't be in daddy's office, little one." Alex says eerily.

John looks around it once more, he's still smiling stupidly and he's leaning into Alex's touch. "I know" He chants. "But daddy was chasing me..." John gives a little whimper in the hopes that Alex would go easy on him.

"Well you know, when you call daddy old-" Alex said but he stops. John is looking directly into his big brown eyes and they're narrowing. He gets it, this wasn't over. It was far from it.

Immediately John pushes Alex off of him, he's stumbling backwards into his bookshelf nearly knocking half of it off, John's mouth drops open when he sees just how close Alex was to doing so. Alex and him both looked back at each other at that moment, both clearly stunned. Then Alex looked deadly, it was going too far but John wasn't sticking around and he's bouncing right out of his office, Alex is running right behind him.

"Get the hell back here!"

John quickly looked back at him sniggering. "Fuck off daddy!"

At that Alex was glowering as he's running down.

They're both clattering down the stairs in such a ratchet, that Lafayette is hissing at them both to be quiet.

"You thought this was over!" Alex growls. "Oh, just you wait!"

But just as John got to the bottom step, he ended up skidding and topping on his front there on the floor. "Ow! Shit!" He cried. Lafayette immediately bolts up to see if he's hurt with a look of worry. Alex on the other hand showed him no mercy, he practically tackles him and he's tickling John's sides like no tomorrow. John is wailing in a mixture of pain and laughter. Lafayette is storming over to them.

"Alexander, John, get up right now. I have had enough for your childish antics!" He shouts at them.

However Alex gave him no heed and he's straddling John by the waist. "Who you callin' old? Huh, baby boy? C'mon, who you callin' old!" Alex sang and his piano fingers are jittering all around John's stomach, he's rolled up John's top and John is in hysterics and whining.

"Get off!" He's shouting. "Laf! Get him off me!"

"Alexander get off him! He could have broken his arm, my goodness!" Lafayette cries. 

Alex flickers his eyes to his husband fast and then he's got them back on John worming around on the floor. He's completely helpless underneath him, tossing and turning between laughter. "Good! That'll teach him for going into my damn office!" 

"That is not the point!" Lafayette shoots back. 

"He's a bad boy! Fuckin' brat!" Alex grumbles, he's tearing his fingers under John's short and on his belly. John can't stop his laughter and Alex shifts on him accidentally landing on his sore knees. John lets out a mighty "Ah!" which has Lafayette's eyes like saucers and at this Alex tips forward so he's back, balancing properly on his waist. "Teachin' him a lesson!"

"That hurt him!" Lafayette says angrily. 

"Laf! Get him off!" John whined. 

Lafayette slows down his pace as he gets to them and he's just stood watching the scene with his hands on his narrow hips. His face blank and he's shaking his head. "Mon petit, you did tease Alexander. You should know what he is like by now." Lafayette grumbled, then he looked to Alex who was digging his fingers right under John's arm pits this time. "Alexander, why were you chasing him?"

Alex's body weight isn't light at all and John is trying to push him off despite being that extra bit stronger. Alex had him pinned right under him and helpless at his hands. Tickles just being landed under his neck, arms, stomach.

The only reason Alex knew John was incredibly ticklish is because of that one night Alex stayed over at his and from exchanging childhood memories together. John told Alex back when he was younger, his siblings would gang up on him when he was asleep and tickle the life out of him on the morning of his birthdays. Alex, as usual, used it to his advantage. The man knew too much.

"This little ass called me 'old' babe!" Alex griped and he's got John gasping out when he goes for under his sides, the worst spot ever. John is on the floor squirming bright red and tears are literally gathered in his eyes.

"Alex stop! Get off! Fuck!" He's whining between his agonised laughter. John is trying to paw Alex away but Alex, merciless as ever continues and he's all grins. The entire thing was shits and giggles to him while Lafayette rolls his eyes.

As John tries to shove Alex, his wrist is caught and John yelps in response. Alex's other hand is still tickling away and Alex twists Johns wrist slightly.

"Ow!" John yells.

Alex balls his eyes at him. It wasn't even enough to hurt.

It doesn't hurt too much but there is a slight force there. "Who you calling old and who you tellin' to fuck off?" Alex said, as he leans down closer to John, their faces inches apart and John squeezes his eyes tightly. He's mumbling something until he just blurts out in a jagged wail.

"Alex!" John cried. Alex bends his wrist a little tighter, it does hurt this time. Lafayette is watching carefully, Alex could go too far sometimes even when they got rough together. John however was a lot younger and Lafayette didn't want Alex sending out the wrong message, Alex wasn't abusive, but he did like to play full on at times, roughhousing was one of Alex's favourite pass times.

Lafayette could remember a time when things got heavy in bed, there had been lots of tugging, scratching but Alex bit him and he drew blood, overall it had resulted in a week of giving Alex the silent treatment and a good slap. But Lafayette had to keep his eye on John, he knew him and Alex's dynamic was different, Alex treated John differently, softer and gentler. Not that Lafayette minded, but right now, he had to step in before it broke out from play-fighting to an actual fight.

"Leave him be now, that is enough." Lafayette is trying not to laugh, he's the only one being an adult here. "Alexander, stop."

Alex ignores him and he's continuing, he's absolutely loving doing this to John. He lets John's wrist go since his husband was complaining and just as Alex thinks John is going to push him off again, he's mistaken when John's laughter dies and he immediately goes to grab Alex's bun. It slides out of his fingers and he's left with Alex's pony in his hair. Alex's eyes widen and John yanks on it, hard.

"Ah! Fuck!" Alex whined. It wasn't so funny now.

Lafayette actually howls with laughter now himself. Alex looks up to his husband with a horrid glare. "Bit of help here babe!" He growls.

"The pair of you, you both look ridiculous!" Lafayette chuckled. "I should take a picture-"

"No!" Both Alex and John shout. Lafayette was only joking, he doesn't but he continue to laugh.

"Okay, okay. Right, Alexander stop tickling John and John, mon petit, be a diamond and allow Alexander's hair to be freed." Lafayette smoothly says. His fingers are tampering on his hips as he watches the pair of them release each other.

John is groggily sitting up, Alex is crawling off of John and slipping out his hair tie so he can soothe his scalp. He grimaces when he does, John catches Alex eye and he's smiling at Alex all satisfied, pleased with himself almost. Lafayette sees this. "John, do not continue to piss Alexander off, please, cheri."

With a nod, John sits upright and he's clasping his knee, it was going to murder in the morning and he's wincing at it. Alex snorts although he doesn't laugh, he's too busy re-doing his hair in its bun. John flickers his eyes to him, his look was a mean one.

"Ho-ho, someones gonna have a big bruise tomorrow" Alex jeers and the elastic of his hair-tie goes 'snap' as he says this.

Lafayette makes a 'tch' at him and John shoots back with, "Daddy, would you like one to match mine? Maybe, right on your eye?" John snaps with a cheeky smile.

That was it. "The pair of you, stop that right now!" Lafayette shouts before Alex can haul another comeback out his mouth. "I have had it! You are being so unkind to each other!" Lafayette's tone actually shakes John up, he isn't used to seeing him this irritated. It didn't scare him but it certainty had his attention.

Alex huffs in response to his husband and he's getting up from the floor. "Alexander, try not to handle him so roughly. You were acting like an animal!" Lafayette scolds. Alex's eyes go wide and he's got his arms out in defence.

"It was just a joke! You make out like I was legit trying to kill him babe!" Alex scoffs. He's looking to John who's there on the floor still nursing his knee. "Oh please, John it couldn't have even hurt!"

John frowns at Alex. "It did!"

"I didn't even twist your arm that much!" Alex retorts and his eyes are darting around at the ceiling like he's being made the bad guy.

"Not that!" John cried back. "I meant the fucking fall!"

"Oh" Alex said and he's looking to Lafayette. Lafayette then turns to John, his hands still on his hips. John feels rather small with him gazing down at him like that. He drops his eyes to the floor in a sulk.

"John, you should not be running around on cold, hard, wooden flooring in your socks." Lafayette directed his gaze to John's cute cartoon turtle socks. It seemed like Alex had only just caught on and bites back a smile. John sees it anyway and he makes a snarky face at Alex. "That is just a recipe for..."

Lafayette puts a hand to his face, he just sighs. He can't remember what that saying was and when Alex added "Disaster?" he completely lost it.

"Alexander!" Lafayette hissed.

Alex moodily waved him off. "Alright, I get it. Jesus, fuck. I'm going for a shower. You two, do whatever."

With Alex walking off on them, John could hear Alex muttering under his breath as he dashed off into the bedroom and that left John with Lafayette. Lafayette bends down, he takes John's arms and he's hoisting him up. John lets out a gasp at the burning in his knees, it hurts so bad, he didn't realise just how hard he'd fell despite it being one lousy step.

Lafayette sees that John's face is a picture of pain and he steadies him. He's walking a limping John over to the sofa and sitting him down. "God, it hurts." He says in a little voice. Lafayette takes a seat beside him and he's rolling up John's jeans or he's trying to. "Skinny jeans, you can't."

"Take them off" Lafayette tells him. John looks into his eyes and he's gone all shy. Lafayette just heaves a heavy breath out his nose and he's going for John's buckle of his belt, he's already sliding it off.

"Laf!" John cries.

"Little John, it is not like we have not seen each other's bodies before, hm?" Lafayette looks back at him dead in the eye, sternly, that was true of course. John gives him a subtle nod in agreement.

"I guess..." John trails off softly.

John pulls off his jeans and Lafayette helps by yanking them off since skinny jeans were always a nuisance to get off anyway. That leaves John there in his briefs, Lafayette is of course staring right at them and John consciously shifts a bit. Lafayette then looks to John's knees and they're oozing red. Lafayette even winces at them when he sees them too. John tips his head back and he's sighing.

"At least you are still able to walk" Lafayette says lightly. There is that though, John didn't have time to be limping around on crutches. He had a job and an assignment to complete.

"God they kill" John mutters. Lafayette gives an 'mm' and he's rolling up the sleeves of his sweater. John watches as he does, Lafayette even looks elegant doing something as simple as that. He smiled to himself as he did. Lafayette looks to him, he sees John's little smile and although it fades, Lafayette has to ask.

"What is it?"

John goes, "Huh?"

"Your smiling?" Lafayette asked and John is watching Lafayette's hands place themselves on his thighs, John's supple taunt thighs. They're soft but firm, always have been. Years of running and swimming right there. John's eye wander on the way Lafayette gently gives them a rub, then they're going down to his knees and the focus is mostly there.

"I just think, well, you're so-" John pauses and he closes his eyes. The way Lafayette is massaging his poorly legs right now feels amazing, Lafayette's touch always makes him so drained and comforted. So amazing. Lafayette was waiting for a response however. "Everything you do, your hands, the way you just roll up your damn sleeves. You're always so, graceful."

Lafayette's eyes light up at this. Their contact keeps in place for a moment before Lafayette goes back to rubbing at his sore legs. "Just everything you do, you're, kind of unreal." Lafayette laughs breathless. "It's true!"

"Mon cheri, I think you are giving me too much credit." Lafayette tells him as he's continuing soothing circles on John's knees. "I am just a person, like yourself and Alexander. Nothing special."

John shakes his head. "That's not true, you are." Lafayette looks back to him, their eyes met evenly and he just smiles.

"You are very charming John Laurens." Lafayette tells him and he's sitting back. John lets out a small moan now that Lafayette has finished taking care of him.

Since Alex was still showering John figured it was almost time for bed. Lafayette had to be up early, Alex did too and John, well he could get away with not going into class. John asked Lafayette if he could use their big bath, Lafayette tells him he didn't have to ask and the next thing to happen was them running one. Bubbles all over the place, steam filling the bathroom and the pair of them sharing the tub. John always loved how big it was, then again, on a whole the entire penthouse was just amazing.

He hadn't planned washing his hair but since it was already damp now anyway, so John allowed Lafayette to wash it, style it, comb it, do whatever it was he was doing. John is just leaning himself on the edge of the bath while Lafayette is finishing up tying it up. This time it was a proper bun, filled with some kind of french braid. As John went to touch it, his hand was pushed aside so Lafayette could finish perfecting it.

"Hey" John calls out softly.

"Yes?" Lafayette asks.

John feels the small comb doing something to the small curls on his nape. "Why are you so damn good at hair? I swear, you're better than my sisters, heck. If you ever meet them, they'd seriously love you!"

Lafayette only grins as John giggles there infront of him. He's just finishing with one more small braid. "As I was growing up in France, I did not have siblings, unlike yourself. I had many cousins, ones my own age now." Lafayette tells him quietly. "I was more accustomed to my female cousins, I much preferred their company. So I learnt from them, Cheri."

"Cool" John understood Lafayette's experiece. He got along better with women as he grew up, John had been much the same. Apart from Hercules, John didn't have that many male friends. Not because he liked men and the few homophobic assholes stirred clear, but because he just clicked better with women. He always had since he was a kid and till now as a grown man. John actually wished he did have more male friends though sometimes.

Although John did have one friend once, well, ex-friend named Charles Lee for a short while back in high school. Charles was one of the guys on the football team and John would hit the gym with him, spot him when he pumped some iron and he even invited Charles over to his house to play some xbox.

That was the only time John was sure of it that his father probably approved him having any friends and told John he was a good influence. Oh and even had the nerve to say "He'll man you up Jacky!" too.

Charles and him fell out, not because John was gay, Charles already knew, but they butt heads when John constantly drove him around so he could get weed or alcohol. Then once John told Charles he wasn't doing it anymore, he wasn't being his little chauffeur and running him around the town, in his car, using his gas to fund Charles's addiction, the guy actually told John to pull over once in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere, right outside the town and offered John a blow-job. 

With that John had kicked him out his car and told Charles to walk home. He wasn't going to be used. That was also when John had started getting calls at three and four in the morning off dodgy dealers on the landline, resulting in waking up everyone in the house and his father accusing him of trying to start drugs.

Then when John found out Charles had started sending pictures of his sad limp cock to his sister, Martha and squeezed his ass multiple times, despite Martha said 'stop' and complained. That was it for John, with a good punch and a threat to cut off his cock, Charles was out the door. But the asshole had even tried to send him multiple friend requests on Facebook and Instagram. Every time John blocked him.

But when John and Martha both told their father, Henry Laurens said he didn't believe them. Charles apparently was a 'good kid'. John thought it was yet another reason to throw on the pile of 'why my father is an jackass'.

As Lafayette is finishing the bun, John is thinking back to him and Alex from earlier. Lafayette didn't look happy at all when they were wrestling around on the floor together. It was the first time John had heard him properly shout, raising his voice and it rattled him the way he spoke to Alex.

"Before, when me and Alex we're just goofing around," John begins, Lafayette was listening, so John continued. "You weren't too mad at him were you?"

Lafayette releases a muffled sound and he says, "I was annoyed, mon petit. I apologise that you had to see that side of me. But Alexander can take things too far, he does not know when to stop sometimes. He could have really hurt you." Lafayette tells him, then adds that his bun was complete. So John is turning to him. "You are much younger, I do not want you to view this relationship between you as violent, cheri."

John's eyes were like golf balls. He hadn't even thought of it like that. "No! No, Laf, I'm fine. I hurt myself from the fall more than Alex twisting my wrist. He was only messing, I don't care if he gets a little rough from time to time." John always thought it spiced things up between them more than anything. But Lafayette's eyes were still full of concern.

"I will take your word for that" Lafayette said, he's moving in closer to John and John's tilting his head back with a smile, staring into his eyes. "I just want to protect you, cheri. That is all."

Then he is leaning down to meet John's soft lips. There is some fondling there with their hands on each other under the water but nothing too heavy for tonight.

After their bath together and a few steamy kisses in-between getting dry. Lafayette had John all dressed in the usual spare t-shirt and joggers of Alex's, they were warm right from out the dryer and got him settled down on the sofa, gave him a cup of hot chocolate and hauled a throw around his shoulders. Lafayette had even rubbed in some coconut lotion on his knees to stop the welling which had been lovely of him to do. Lafayette seemed to enjoy doting and fussing with him just as much as Alex did.

When John thought about it Lafayette seemed like he was pretty much daddy material too. As he's taking a sip of his hot chocolate, he's watching Lafayette and Alex chatter there in the kitchen. They're talking in french again, Alex didn't look too pleased and John assumed Lafayette was telling him off about their play fighting earlier. Just when John noticed Lafayette gesture his head towards him, Alex turned to him and John quickly looked down at his phone.

Lafayette had gone off into their bedroom, he said something to John after their bath about how he needed to prepare for the morning. Alex was padding over to John and John continues to go about ignoring him.

Alex comes around the sofa and John's stomach is doing flip-flops. They haven't spoken since earlier. So he comes to John's side and he slumps down beside him. He's already in his lounge wear and John had to admit the snug legging-like pyjama pants Alex was sporting looked good.

John was waiting for him to say something, Alex didn't right away which was very un-Alex like and he was just sat there, crossed arms with a face like a slapped ass watching the TV. John sensed the tension between them and he decides to be the one to put this to bed.

"You calmed down then?" John asks as he's liking one of Peggy's new Instagram photos. She was flashing her new pastel pink and purple outfit for the world to see, whilst posing with her finger up to the camera and a giant vibrant red slushy behind a brick wall with the spray painting "Fuck gender rules" on it. It was very Peggy. John wouldn't be surprised if she painted that on there.

Alex had slyly seen the post and John is moving away his phone out of sight. When he does it seemed to be a problem for Alex. He frowns at John and puts a leg up there on the sofa. "Still being an ass then?" Alex mocked.

John scoffed at him. "I never was! Alex, it was a joke. You're the one who went too far and got yourself in trouble with Lafayette!"

"Like I don't know that? God, fuck, I know. Okay, I know." Alex muttered. "Since when were you both so close, anyway, ganging up together there in the bath and gossiping about me like a pair of school girls." He huffed.

John couldn't believe what he was hearing. He tosses his phone aside for a second and he's shuffling around so he can face Alex. "Are you for real? Stop being a man-child!" John spat. Alex immediately shifted his eyes from the TV to his and he's giving him a cut look. "You're the one who told me to get to know Laf, I did and I am. Isn't that what you wanted? Now, I'm sorry if calling you 'old' was going to far but it was just a joke. I don't know why you're so sore over it."

With that Alex turns off the TV. "I'm not sore over that John, I just-" He stops and he's tossing his hand through his locks. His hair is down and it's still wet. John held back the urge from reaching out to touch it. Alex's hair was always so silky, so nice. "I'd never hurt you, you know that right?" And he's turning to look back to John worriedly. John's expression softens and so does Alex's.

"Of course, Alex, don't be stupid." John laughs softly and he's moving closer to Alex. Alex makes a low whine and he's wrapping his arms around John, pulling him along with the throw, into a firm embrace. Alex rocks them slightly and John kisses Alex there in the scruff of his neck. "You know I never mind it when we get dirty" John giggled. "Laf was just worried, that's all. It's cool."

Alex's arms slip down to his waist and he's holding him still. John couldn't see since his face was buried in his neck, but Lafayette was stood folding one of his shirts up in the doorway of the bedroom. He catches Alex's attention and Lafayette is shaking his head before going back inside. Alex's gaze lowers for a second and he knows Lafayette is still pissed with him.

Then John pops his head up and he's smiling against Alex's lips, he's pecking them and they kiss deeply before breaking away. John is trying to lighten the mood. "Sorry for calling you old" he said gently. Alex is the one shaking his head back at John, he's rubbing his sides and squeezing them with not much force.

"No, honey. I am old, older than you. You're not exactly lying." Alex chuckled, then he's looking at John's legs there kneeling down between them. "How's your knees? Fuck, you fell with such a fuckin' bang. I should've helped-"

Then John pecked him again. "They hurt like hell but m'okay." Another kiss was planted and Alex can feel them get carried away. John pulling himself up there on his lap.

"Sorry" Alex says, a little too sadly for John's liking. "I can be a real dick."

"Honestly, it's fine." And after one more sweet kiss. John leans into Alex's hold, they're both lying there on the sofa. "Lets forget it, okay? I'm fine, your fine, Laf is fine. Everything is fine."

It's so silent right now, they can only hear Lafayette in the bedroom doing whatever he was doing and the sound of the city outside. "Your my boyfriend, Alex. I trust you." John tells him after a minute. Alex could only smile back at him and they cuddle up together, basking in the moment.

That night John did spend the night in their bed together. He didn't feel embarrassed, shy or guilty for doing so either like he had before. Lafayette was already in bed when John and Alex joined him. Only Alex's light was left on over on his side and Lafayette was still drifting off. Alex had woken him though, not on purpose but the sounds of them getting into bed, the mattress stooping and the sound of the light going off caused him to stir him.

John was in the middle this time and it felt good. "Scuffle your little ass in" Alex said as John is climbing inside. Lafayette muttered something in French and Alex replied back in plain English, "Yeah, he's in the middle. Don't crush him babe." Alex joked.

"Pfft, Laf wouldn't do that" John said and he's unsure who's pillow he is supposed to be sharing with. Lafayette is grabbing a spare cushion from somewhere under the bed and handing it to John.

As Alex is getting in he goes, "Believe me, honey, you've experienced nothing yet. Being slept on by Laf is no fun."

"Alexander, you are not exactly light yourself." Lafayette throws back as he's settling down again.

While Lafayette is plumping his pillow up and lying back down, Alex is sliding in now and tossing the sheet over himself. "You calling me fat?"

"Oh, don't start Alex" John giggles there between them, he's got his phone from out the pocket of his pockets and he's having a quick wonder on Instagram. As he does, Lafayette turns over with a grumble, from the light shining directly on him and John finds his phone yanked out of his fingertips. "Hey!"

Alex puts it firmly on his nightstand and he's snuggling back down next to him. John is looking at Alex there in the dark and Alex moves an arm around him under the sheets. He grits his hand right on John's ass. "It's late baby boy. No phones, bed time." Alex yawns.

But John sits up and he's reaching for it but Alex is pushing him back down. He tried to do it again, obviously striving to get on Alex's nerves and he's giggling. Alex is groaning how him to stop. Then when John tries it again, this time it's Lafayette who's instantly sitting up and he's leaning over John there who's lay down in shock.

"Mon petit, are you trying to push our limits tonight? Because, I feel that you are and you are deliberately being a nuisance." Lafayette asks, his tone sharp. He's using that same voice he had with Alex earlier when he told him off too. John bit his lip, they couldn't see since it was dark. He liked it.

"I wouldn't do a thing like that" John says in a light but flirtatious voice. He was trying to sound younger, cuter. He figured just to go with it, push it. Go that extra bit further tonight. "No, not me, papa."

Both Lafayette and Alex went silent.

John lay there twiddling his teeth and bottom lip together. He was waiting for them, to say or do anything.

Then Alex's gasp broke it, then when he went "Oh my god" and he just laughed. "Oh my god, holy fuck, babe, did you hear that?"

Lafayette says nothing and then he's got John pinned to the mattress by his shoulders. He's shimmying from his side of the bed to the center where John was and he's hovering over him.

"Alexander, what do you purpose that we do with him exactly?" Lafayette was smirking, John could see it even with the tint of moonlight that shone through the curtains. Half of Lafayette's face was shadowed but John could see it there, his lip hitched upwards slightly in the darkness. God, he was turned on right now, they both sounded so dubious and now Alex was hopping up on his knees too and looking down at him. 

John felt surrounded. He was the little lamb and they were the big bad wolves, ready to devour him whole. 

"Mmm, well, he's been real bad tonight. Naughtier than the usual, I say, we-" and Alex switches to his French tongue. John let out a whine and groaned louder when Lafayette said something back in French too.

"Daddy, papa, speak in English!" John griped and just to top it off, he flopped his leg down on the bed childishly. Then immediately regretted it when he felt the sting come back, riding right up his thigh. "Ow!"

Alex snorted and he's ruffling John's curly scalp. "That's what you get" He sang.

As this happens, Lafayette is shuffling his way down John and he's slowly tugging at the ends of his joggers. John knows he's already hard, he's ready and waiting. Alex is kissing him and kisses his neck, then he's making his way up with kisses right to John's ear and he whispers, "Do you want this? Both of us?" It's husky and John's eyes roll back, he's got Lafayette rolling down his pants who is listening, watching them both.

"Yeah, god, yes." John moans and Alex is lifting him up under his arms, so he can mooch behind John. "I want you both, I _need_ you both. Fuck."

"Look at you... look at you honey." Alex sings. "When I first met you, you couldn't even say anything in bed. You were adorable, so nervous. Now you're - fuck - like a little porn star!"

Lafayette chuckled at Alex's comment. "He is cuter than any porn star out there." John lets out a whimper, he's needy and impatient. 

John sits up a little to help out Alex, Lafayette is sliding down his pants, as he does Lafayette is peppering kisses on both of John's swollen knees, John moans from the gesture and then he's crippled by another moan when Alex's fingers are twitching his nipples. Then he's got John's top off, throwing it over the bed and Lafayette is working on his briefs.

With the room soon filling up with wet noises, moaning, kisses and the occasional 'pop'. John realises that he's the last one left to give out his Valentines day gift.

For now though, that could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Papa = Daddy in French 
> 
> I feel like this chapter was a bit half assed but I kinda like it? I dunno. 
> 
> They're all getting somewhere finally :>
> 
> Thank you for all the love and kudos on the last chapter! It made me so happy! <3 x
> 
> PS. I am gonna be writing up another Hamilton story shortly while working on this one so play keep an eye out for it! It's a lot different from this. It's Lams still but it's a bit dark ;)


	12. TRAUMA & SELF DENIAL

The month after John was worried like crazy because he was due a presentation of his findings and work to show to his class. Alex told John not to worry about it, he believed that he could wing it and get through it easily enough.

Lafayette told John how he was lucky, in his job Lafayette was constantly giving presentations and speaking out at meetings. But that was work, he had to and if an idea wasn't good it could cost him a fortune. Unlike John on his mock-up presentation and marks he could always make up for.

They knew John was a bit of a shy bug, he kept to himself and Alex, ever the social butterfly was constantly pushing John to be more open, let himself go and just don't care what others think. It was easy for Alex to say, he had no pause and was loud as ever. He told John that no matter what he wanted to go in life, where he wanted to go or end up, he would have to come out of his shell.

He knew that, John already knew. Sometimes he wished he was more of a people person just like Alex. John hated anything to do with getting up front and talking to a group of people, all eyes on him and listening to the sound of his own voice, watching those sat there judge him. His classmates were friendly enough but everyone always had their own thoughts, their own opinions. To make matters worse this was a marked presentation as well.

John was never one to try and grab the spotlight, by all means, he just hated being in the center of attention. Well apart from being in the center of it with Alex and Lafayette. That was different. Although it was still strange sometimes when John stayed at theirs, kissed each of them, one after the other. But it was the norm now, John spent most of his days with them. Being with them was becoming more and more natural now. 

From watching Lafayette iron his shirts for morning, to catch Alex shaving in the bathroom, to just lying between both of them on their sofa gorging on Oreos and Cheetos. To washing his clothes at their place, hanging them up to dry on their balcony and helping himself to whatever was in the fridge. Everything felt normal. Like he was home. 

That coming friday close to Easter John was spending it over at Alex and Lafayette's place.

Every friday night it used to be Peggy, Angelica and Eliza's place, dominos and netflix marathons, dancing on the bed to Disney songs, belching out Moana's "How far I'll go" at the top of their lungs, getting a bang on the door from one of the neighbours in complaint, at one in the morning. Youtube music videos, laughing together. Letting Eliza paint his toe nails blue, help bash the assholes who tried to slaughter Peggy's outfits on Tumblr and have Angelica run over her class speeches with him. Just friend stuff.

But now it was steamy make out sessions in the bath while his cock was being fondled by either Lafayette or Alex. Big freshly cooked family dinners around the table, good wine and cheese night since Lafayette had started getting John into his cheeses. Cuddles infront of the TV, shopping on a Saturday in the top stores and lazy lie ins on a sunday between kisses, heavy rumblings and romping. John felt somewhat older in a way having stay with Alex and Lafayette.

The more Peggy would text him or call him to come over at the weekend to hers, the more watching Rick and Morty sounded less appealing, Eliza's choice in nail colours and glitter face masks put him off and Angelica just came across as whiny to him nowadays. They had noticed some change in their John and called him less.

John noticed too but he didn't bother in changing that. He was only interested in Alex and Lafayette.

It rubbed John up the wrong way the other day, Wednesday night when he was finishing up at Lava Java, Peggy called him asking if he wanted to catch up, see a movie and grab some dinner at Five Guys. John told her no, that he was tired and busy then she snapped "God, you never want to hang out anymore. Ever since you got that fucking boyfriend..." John had told her to 'grow up Pegs" and put the phone down on her. He has never done that before, there had been a little bit of guilt but it blew over him quick enough.

Right now he was on his way over to their place and John is doing the usual. Subway, sometimes he got a cab and even though Alex just told him to throw his cash, John thought it was just cheaper than a cab.

He wasn't that much of a snob. A quick 'hey' to the doorman and in the elevator. The usual floor, he's jolting his bag a bit further on his shoulder and pressing the doorbell.

Alex is the one to greet him this time, he's all wide smiles and his puppy dog brown eyes up in John's face. "Hey you!" Alex cries and he's practically dragging John in. John wraps his arms around Alex and Alex does the same back. He engulfs that almond spicy scent that Alex wears, breathes it in from the crook of Alex's neck and John gives him a playful little nip on his adam's apple.

"Damn, honey, it isn't like you to be playful this early!" Alex teases, John looks up at him, head lifted back and then he just smiles before leaning in to press a kiss on Alex's lips. They kiss again and John pulls back, he's against against Alex's lips.

"Just missed you, both of you." He whispers. Alex's brow rose in surprise and he just chuckles, dives in again for another kiss while they're still stood there in the doorway.

"Jesus,  John. You're so cute, fuckin' hell." Alex says as he's closing the door behind them. "Stop being so cute!" He gives John a dig with his finger and John glances to him cheekily smiling.

As John moves to take off his back and coat hanging them both up, then his shoes on the rack since he knows just how Lafayette hates it if he leaves them on the floor there. Alex has his hands there in his pockets, swinging his foot a little as he prances around watching, waiting for John to hang up his stuff.

John lets out a small yawn and gives a bit of a stretch. He's still in his work clothes, his white shirt smelled like coffee beans and pastrami. God he needed a shower. "I take that it was another long shift?" Alex asks him. John nods and he's following after Alex over to the kitchen.

"Full day" He says with another yawn. "They've got me doing longer ones since one of the girls left there" John just slumps his shoulder and takes up a seat there at the breakfast bar. Alex automatically just passes him a beer. It was already cranked open and still cold from the fridge. John shares a lingering look with his boyfriend as their fingers brush once it's in John's hand. Alex always knew he would come over. John couldn't help himself after all.

Then he gripes, "To make it worse, a few of the others I work with, not Herc, but this one girl in particular, she keeps trying to tell me what to do. Bossing me around, left, right and center! She isn't even a senior member of staff!"

Alex just snorts at him. "Just tell her, act your wage, bitch." John bursts out into another laugh and Alex kind of does too, he's biting his lip, pouring in some hot water into his mug.

After he's done giving whatever he's having a stir, Alex glances to John again. "But on a serious note, honey, you're gonna have tons of people like that, no matter where you work. You'll always get some dickhead in a job and eventually, you're so used to their shit, that you've stopped giving a shit." John nodded along, he knew it was true.

Alex was right, it was just one of those things in life. He's sat there pouting almost and that was when the silence kicked in, so Alex as usual, broke it.

"Aw, my poor, sweet, baby boy" Alex sings and he's reaching over the counter to pull at one of John's cheeks. As he does, John frowns. "The evil bastards, cruel fuckers -" Alex chimed again, a wicked grin on his lips and he's twisting his cheek, John yelps at it. "Orderin' you around, making my sweet little cherub do all those horrid hours! How dare they!"

John whines and tries to swat Alex away. "Alex!" 

"Only person who can boss you around is me, they know that?" Alex smirks. John found him unbelievable sometimes, he really did. John just gives him a look and Alex continues his ramblings. 

"Want me to come in? I'll raise hell y'know. Daddy will kick their ass." Alex all but giggled as he withdraws his hand quickly and just lets out a roaring loud. God, he loved teasing John. "Alex, the heck!" He cried and John's rubbing at his cheek, he was certain that it was oozing red from Alex's touch.

Alex leans down against the breakfast bar, to John's surprise he isn't on the red wine tonight. Instead he's got himself a big mug of black coffee, piping hot, steam coming off and Alex blows it, directly at John who is sat there unimpressed and he takes a mouthful.

"It's like, what, ten at night and you're drinking that?" John directs his eyes on it, an eyebrow perked up in question.

But Alex just shrugs at him, unbothered. "Mm, I've got a lot to get through this weekend with work honey. I'll be up half the night again, Laf's been complaining that I'm not getting enough sleep." Alex settles the mug back down. John did notice how Alex has some baggage around his big eyes. He did look tired. "But really, he's just pissed, because he gets cold in bed when I'm not there." Alex chuckled. John rolled his eyes as he laughed with him.

"You need to take a break Alex" John tells him, he tries to sound firm but it never works. "I swear you work and write like you're running out of time."

He just smirks at John. "I'll take one when I'm dead. I've too much to do little one, life is far too short. I could end up shot tomorrow." Alex perks up a hand against his cheek as he leans there staring back at John. "But really, though, I ought to stop over at your place, like I used to. See whats going down."

Alex hadn't really been going in Lava Java since they began dating, now that he had John's attention, there wasn't really any need but sometimes he did pop in for a quick take away coffee if he was in the area.

John crosses his arms there as he leans forward, mostly to get comfortable. "Well, not much has really happened. It's still the same. Apart from the menu change to Easter drinks-"

With a scoff, Alex shakes his head and says, "Oh god, here we go"

"So uh, we've got marshmallow bunny mochas -" John starts to tab off his fingers as he goes through the new items they've got over at his job. Alex's face immediately drops as he does. "Sugar free chocolate bunny breves, hot cross cappuccinos, uh, chocolate amaretto flat whites -" then Alex just puts a hand up for John to stop.

"I've heard enough, honey." John just laughs as Alex rolls his eyes. He knows how much Alex hates coffee being tampered with. "Your pay check is basically fuelling up potential acute myocardial infarctions. Y'know that?"

"Oh Alex, seriously." John can't help but smile. "You're such a kill joy!"

Alex reaches his hand out and gives John's nose a quick dab. "I'm just stating the facts"

At that moment the front door opens and in comes Lafayette. John and Alex peak their heads over to see him there, Lafayette saying something to himself in French with his earphones still in. Alex breathed in to stop himself from cackling. His husband didn't know he's being watched as he's having a little sing-song there to himself.

Both Alex and John snort when Lafayette finally turns around and sees them both staring. John gives Lafayette a little wave and Alex continues to laugh, he knows how his husband gets sometimes. Lafayette pops off his earphones and he's trying to play it off like it isn't embarrassed.

"You alright there?" Alex calls. 

Lafayette gives him the side-eye as he nods and he's shrugging off his coat. Alex and John wait for him doing whatever it was Lafayette did when he came home from work. They spoke among themselves until Lafayette finally joined them at the counter. John is eyeing Lafayette up, he looked nice today. Well, he did almost everyday but John always found the pieces Lafayette wore from his endless wardrobe fairly fascinating.

Blue blazers here with a pink shirt, a yellow sweater there with a shirt underneath, pink turtlenecks paired with a rose gold rolex and his black rimmed glasses. Lafayette was always playful with his style, it was always so vibrant and colourful. Such a contrast to Alex who basically lived in such a gloomy monochrome scheme of just grey, black, white and red. John did ask Alex once why he was always in dark colours, he got told dramatically by him, that they expressed his inner pain while Lafayette cut in and told John how Alex used to be an ex-rocker-reject. Lafayette even had an old picture of Alex from back in their college days, Alex cheekily pulling his tongue, pierced with longer hair. John had been drooling, Alex looked even sexier. 

But like they say, opposites attract.

As John was staring at him, Lafayette was taking out his hair tie and left his coiled curls to dangle for a moment. John always liked to see Lafayette with his hair out from time to time. He never usually wore it out though, when John asked why Lafayette told him that his hair usually got in the way, made him too hot or annoyed him to no end if it stuck up from the wind.

Lafayette looked exhausted too, he never usually said much when he was tired and under his eyes looked hollow. Alex turns to him, after a gulp of his coffee and he does offer some to Lafayette but he refuses. Alex knew he couldn't stand plain coffee yet continued to ask anyway. Lafayette says something to Alex in French, he sounded irritated and Alex looks at him as if he was sympathising. He's nodding and tipping his head to the side with a soft smile, John's watching between them there with his Sam Adams.

John sighs to himself softly. Sometimes he did wish he could understand them, it almost made him want to take up French. Just so he could communicate with his partners, well, Alex and Lafayette. His boyfriend and Lafayette, just Lafayette.

As they're talking Alex sweeps a hand through Lafayette's waves of coiled curls and Lafayette is moving his head away, he's smirking but he doesn't look like he's in the mood. Alex does it again or tries to and Lafayette dodges him for the fridge. John holds back a laugh and Alex looks to him with his mouth open.

With a swig of his beer John playfully calls out, "Papa" and Lafayette is peeping at him from the fridge door. "How did your day go?"

"Mon cheri, give me ten minutes, _please_." Lafayette says and he's fumbling around there for something. "I need food and to rest."

Alex snickered, "Ah, honey, Laf can be really grouchy after a long day. Can't you babe?"

Lafayette made some kind of noise in agreement before he's grabbing out something then bristling off into another room. Alex and John just shrugged at each other leaving him to it. They ended up on the sofa watching some re-runs and that was when Alex clapped his hands together loudly, shaking up John and he swivels around to him.

"Right, since we're not doing anything. Lets practice."

John gives Alex look of confusion. "What?"

"You're presenting your work soon in your class, right?" Alex asks.

As Alex does, John switches his gaze back to the TV. He really didn't want to do this now, he was tired, hungry. "Yeah, but, it isn't for like another three weeks" Alex claps his thigh and gives it a pat.

"So what? Come on, I want to help." Alex says and he's reaching for the remote at the side of John, turning off the TV. "It'll take a few minutes." He adds when he sees John's mouth babble like a goldfish over him switching it off. "Gotta improvise honey"

With that Alex bolts up on his feet and he's gesturing for John to get up as well. Groggily John gets up and he's stood at the side of Alex for a second before he's being turned to face him by the shoulders.

Alex is looking him up and down. "Right, face me, just like that" he tells John.

John is giving Alex such a moody look and says, "Do we have to do this? Alex, it's late. Why not tomorrow? I'm tired!"

But Alex shakes his head and just merely smirks. "John, being tired is all part of being an adult. You're going to start feeling fucked more and more, this is literally just the beginning." Alex said and he waves him off. John frowns. "You'll get a second wind. Anyway, concentrate, baby boy."

John slumps his shoulders, it seemed that they were going ahead with this then. Alex props him upright and steps back from John after he does. "Why do you always do that? Like, I don't want to be picky, but it's something I've noticed with you. If you're not biting your finger nails, you do that with your shoulders. Stand up properly."

Alex just makes John giggle. As if - Alex was nothing but picky. "Alex, why does it even matter? I'm up here, like you wanted."

"Looking like you know what you're talking about, it counts for a lot, Jack." Alex sounded serious enough right now, so John decided it was best to just go along with it and do as he was told. So he stands up properly, straightens out his shoulders out of his usual slump.

Alex watched carefully. "Right, good. Okay, so I know you're kinda, well I'm not going to say you're quiet but-"

"Yeah, I already know Alex. I'm introverted." John gives him a roll of the eyes. "I'm not like you, Mr. Hamilton, Mr. never stops writing, Mr. never stops talking." John all but smirks at him. This has Alex taking a step back and pulled an 'oh really' face.

So Alex and John began practicing. In ended with Alex sitting on the sofa and John acting out how he was going to give his class a full on speech. As John went from explaining to rambling, Alex put up a hand and shook his head. "Stop, John that didn't even make sense. You need to understand what you're talking about, try make more eye contact with me honey."

John looks from side to side for a moment then looks back to Alex. "But I am? I was looking at you the whole time."

"No, you always look away. You look down or away from me when you look in my direction. You mumble, speak up." Alex tells him.

Then John lets out a mighty groan and he's tipping his head back in annoyance. "Alex! I'm sick of doing this. I'm trying!"

But Alex shrugged and said, "Try harder, seriously, what are you going to do when you finally start work? You'll have to present your ideas in front of more than just five to eight people."

"It's twenty actually" John tells him.

Alex balls his eyes. "Don't act smart. You know what I mean."

"Doing this - it's embarrassing!" John stamps his foot and he's putting his hands on his hips with a huff. Alex's brow scrunches up, he doesn't get John sometimes.

"It's only me! Honey, it's just me. Why're you embarrassed?!" Alex all but laughs. After everything they've done together and John was too shy to act out infront of him. "It's not as if you're on broadway!"

John's eyes widen and he shouts back, "Well it feels like it!"

Alex hangs his head for a second in defeat, he was trying so hard with him. Then he looks back up at John, he smiles stupidly. Eyes squinting and John gets the message.

"Fine" John mutters. "I'll try, only to stop you complaining."

"Can I just ask this though -" John narrows his eyes at Alex. He's so done with this acting thing. "What holds you back?" Alex asks him softly. "I've never seen you work that till at your job. You lack eye contact with people, you close up when you take a call, you go silent sometimes around people. Waiters, waitresses. But with me, Laf, you're totally fine."

John sighs. He knew Alex was spot on and he could remember when he first met Alex. John had been fairly shy around him but Alex was very easy to get to know. He made himself known and dragged John out of his shell, he didn't have time to be quiet with Alex. Lafayette though, John was getting there with him. Step by step.

"You're very... observant" John mumbles out with a small smile.

At that Alex gives him an 'mm' and his expression fell blank, a tint of concern mixed in, as he moves forward there on the sofa, right to the end and Alex reaches for John's hands.

He takes them, gently and as he does, John looks back into Alex's big eyes. "Jack"

Alex had been using his given family nickname more often than usual lately. John liked it, it was nice and he felt closer to Alex now that he was using it. He felt complete.

Alex squeezes his hand tightly. "Why are you _so_ insecure?"

When John thought about it he didn't really know why he was the way he was. Perhaps it was his upbringing, constantly being ridiculed by his father for never being enough and from childhood being bullied for his curly long hair, his dad taunting him over him losing a baseball game in third grade, losing his mother at a young age and mothering his siblings, growing up being skinny as a green bean and working himself half to death at the school gym after hours to gain some muscle mass, just so he wouldn't be considered 'feminine looking' by others with his long hair. 

John felt his body jitter and his hand were getting clammy. He thought back to that one evening before he left for college, dinner around the table, his father picked them something up on his way home from the office. Henry Laurens complaining at John for not going grocery shopping, despite the fact that John was busy with preparing for his leave and he had already been grocery shopping the day before. His siblings were greedy and Jimmy could eat up a house.

As usual John got the blame and Martha was his back up. Around the table they had been eating, a dry plateful of chips and fried chicken with gravy from their local KFC. That was when John spilled the news about him leaving for college and his father claimed he had no idea about John's leave. John explained that his father just never listened.

He was already in the shit for coming out as gay two months before and his father just didn't want to talk to him. Then it got heated, arguments over the table and his younger siblings, Mary and James were terrified. His younger brother Henry, a little bit older than them tried to butt in and tell them to settle. Martha was trying to drag John back down on his seat, John hadn't listened, he threw a fit and exploded.

 

John felt his breathing become ragged and Alex's brow lowered, he watched him with concern. "Jack?"

 

He remembered how his father jumped up from his seat, the chair clattering down on the floor as he did and Mary shrieking. James grabbing her because she was terrified. John screaming at how he was scaring them both, his father telling John it was his doing and John telling his father how everything was always his fault.

From his mother's death to Martha's self harming, constant trips to the school shrink and her trying to stab a girl at another school. Martha hadn't been pleased at all how he released all that information to their father but Henry Laurens didn't know half of what was happening in his children's lives. John was tired of always being the one to fend for everyone, to be the solver of everyones problems and play the parent, when his very own, remaining parent didn't give two flying fucks.

 

"Jack" Alex bolts up from his seat on the sofa and he's taking John by the shoulders.

 

After grabbing Martha by the arm, John was too far gone in his own rage and didn't take her feelings into account at all, when he forcefully drags her up from her own seat, she's yelping at John to let go, Mary and Jimmy's faces are a picture of horror, little Henry is shouting at John to let her go and their father is appalled when John angrily turns up the sleeve of Martha's sweater.

 

"Shit - you're having a panic attack" He hears Alex mumble.

 

She's batting at John's hand to let go, in tears but John was stronger and her years worth of cuts, old scars are on show for everyone in their family to see. Mary actually screamed, she had never seen anything like it in her entire short life. James's mouth hung open, little Henry just gasped and said 'my god' while their father was just seething. He said nothing, John remembers how his father hung his head and John was bringing Martha around to him, yanking her as she's in tears. John paid her no mind, he's forcing her arm in his father's face and shouting that it was his fault.

He bawled and screamed at his father, telling him that he had done that to her, to them all. Little Henry was the one to pull Martha away from him, Martha flinched away from John and seeing that hurt look on her face at him, John realised what he had done and he was fleeing the dining room.

 

Alex is coaxing John to sit down and he's holding him tightly. "Breathe, baby. Deep breaths. In, out, in and out." He tells him softly. Then Alex pulls away slightly and he's turning around to shout, "Laf! Laf get in here now!"

 

Henry Laurens had stormed back after him, John could hear Martha scream at him when his father dragged John by the hair, a knife off the dining table in his hand and he's throwing John down on the hard marble floor. John could remember how he winced and how he saw the blunted knife in the hand of his father. Little Henry was swift enough to slap it out of his grip, the knife clattering elsewhere in the hallway and Martha was trying to drag her father away from throwing more punches at John's back. Even after what had happened, Martha was still on John's side.

 

"Mon cher, what is going on?!" He hears Lafayette running over.

Alex is still trying to soothe him with circles on his back. "He's having a _panic attack_ \- fuck! What should we do? What do we do?!"

 

John recalled how he had punched his father across the face, a good solid punch. Since he had always wanted John to 'man up', John had and whacked him good. Enough for it to draw blood out his nose, little Henry and Martha gasping when he did. His father clawing at John and John being quicker, running up the stairs, tripping as he did but he got up there faster than his father and closed his bedroom door with such a hideous slam. John had to barricade the door with his chest of drawers, he had no lock, his father took it off and John piled anything up that was heavy.

He remembers how his father was screaming his name, Martha and little Henry were trying to pull him away from breaking down John's door. His father was going at it with such a force, beating it with his foot, leaving dents and the wood splintered.

 

Lafayette is couching down in front of John there, he's telling John to keep breathing and sends Alex off to get a plastic bag or any type of bag for John to use.

"Mon cheri, breathe with me" and Lafayette takes John's hands this time. Their fingers lacing together, squeezing his own. John follows Lafayette's pattern of breathing, his head is spinning and he's trying so hard to keep going. His heart is thundering in his heat, he feels like he may have a heart attack. But he keeps going. "In, out, in, out -"

As John does, Lafayette gives him a small smile. "Good, in, out, in and out. Once more -" and they do it again. "Bien joué! Tu fais incroyable!" He tells him, it probably subconsciously came out in French. John doesn't know what that means but it sounded positive enough. Lafayette shakes his head to himself at his own mishap, then says, "Pardon, cheri, I meant to say, you are doing excellent. Well done, now, once again."

 

A small suitcase was all John could find during his quick rummaging. The big one he used was down in the basement, there wasn't any room in the attic left and his father locked it down there when he told John he didn't want him going to New York.

John flung in any clothing he could find in his closet, anything that was hung up, whether it matched or not, any underwear, socks, spare jeans and belts. Fuck it, it was going inside and all his art supplies, his tablet and laptop went in another bag. John scrambled together a few toiletries from the side of his bed, just deodorant, a roll-on and razors he bought the other day.

He refrained from ever putting them in the bathroom again because of Martha and Little henry liked to borrow them, blunting them and bogging them up with shave cream. Anything else he needed, John could pick up at the airport.

 

"Found one" Alex says and he's passing a paper brown Starbucks bag to John. "Here, honey, try and take deep breaths with this."

So John does, his fingers are shaking when he takes it off Alex and he's breathing into it. Alex sits next to him rubbing his back, watching him and then looking over worriedly to Lafayette, who was still on his knees infront of him.

 

John had always hated when he could never just get his shoes on quickly, his battered vans were always tricky fuckers to get on. John had thanked the heavens above when he got those on as fast as he did. Already in his jeans and an old top. he threw on his hoody and a jacket. Not caring if his hair was a scruffy mess in its pony-tail from his father's doing.

With the credit card with his trust money on, a card that held his summer job earnings and a few bills, his application forms, John stuffed them into his back, grabbed his phone, charger, headphones and he was off. John had rammed the chest of drawers out the door, those went somewhere on the floor and with his gear he was storming out the bedroom, shoving past his father with such force the man almost went toppling over. Martha was shouting after him, little Henry was running after him and his father was storming to him.

John was running down the stairs, his case clattering behind him, duffle bag over his shoulder and his younger siblings, Mary and James were already waiting downstairs. They were crying and asking where he was going. John gave them the quickest hugs of their lives, kissed them both on the cheek and told them to be good, not to be scared of their father and to Jimmy, he said never to allow their father to make him feel less of a man that he was. Then said he was going to New York for college and that he would be in touch once he got there. Told them he loved them both so much.

He wished back then how he could have told Martha he was sorry, sorry for humiliating her, sorry for revealing her secret and sorry for leaving so suddenly. Also little Henry, John wanted to tell him not to give in to their father, to ignore him whenever he said he wasn't enough for the football team, to keep going and that he didn't have to 'be a man' about everything.

That it was okay to be afraid, to show his emotions and vent. John didn't have the chance and before he knew it, he was trudging out in the summer night. Glancing back in hot tears, running out of breath, sadly at his childhood home. The place he grew up, the memories that the walls held and how his family had once been whole, complete together.

 

* * *

 

A while later and John was wrapped in a towel there on their bed.

Lafayette had bathed him, not in the big tub, but the smaller one in Alex and Lafayette's ensuite bathroom. Where the bed was closer and the bath was smaller since the usual tub was huge. Lafayette wanted to keep John close and calm.

John had become like a human doll, allowing them to move him around and fuss over him after his panic attack. He felt much better now, Alex had left him his usual spare pyjamas on the bed and John decided it was time to slip into them.

As he does Lafayette appears back in the room, he's dressed for bed, looking effortlessly gorgeous in an old vest and joggers. Usually John would keep his eyes on Lafayette like this, focusing on his sculpted arms and taunt stomach. But not tonight, he wasn't in the mood. Not after that.

So John kept his eyes on his lap, he felt so exhausted. Just so drained, panic attacks always made him feel like he wanted to sleep for a week. They made him pale, caused him to be jittery and shaky for the next couple of hours. It had already been two hours since John fell to bits there in the living room and even now he was calming down, gradually, he was getting there.

He felt the bed stoop beside him and a hand fawning over his mane of loose damp curls that were tousled over his shoulders. Lafayette's hand dropped down to the end of his curls, his fingers twisting and turning around a strand of the coil. John watched as he toyed with it.

"How do you feel, cheri?" He asks, his deep voice soft. John gives a small sigh through his nose and he shrugs.

Lafayette just hums and he leans forward to give John a peck on the forehead. He moves some of the hair from it as he does, John felt quite exposed, his hair in his face was always his protective shield. But with Lafayette he didn't mind too much. He finds that he leans into Lafayette's touch and then eventually into his firm chest. Lafayette collects him, holds John and rubs his back.

He doesn't respond but Lafayette already knows how John is feeling. As he continues to rub circles, John closes his eyes and he opens them again slowly when padded footsteps come into the room.

"Is he awake?" Alex asks quietly although John can hear him clearly.

Lafayette shifts a little and they say something in French. The only thing John manages to understand is "oui" for yes and that was when John decided to just speak. He's mustered up a bit of energy to do so finally. "Yeah, I'm awake" He tells them both. It more of a muffle against Lafayette but they heard.

So John sits up, dazed, he looked half-asleep and he's giving them both a once over. Alex had his hand on Lafayette's shoulder, giving it a squeeze before he's sitting on the bed and crawling over to John on the other side. John turns slightly so that he can face both of them and he slumps down.

Alex snakes an arm around his lower back where he then moves forward, popping a kiss on John's cheek and then resting his head against John's there against the headboard. Lafayette infront of them both, he shifts to them closer and he pats John's thigh with care.

"I'm sorry if I worried you both" John lets out in a small voice. His eyes drop. "I didn't mean to. When you asked me, why I was so insecure, Alex. I thought about my dad and when we had a fight before I left home."

He doesn't see how Alex and Lafayette's eyes meet at this vital piece of information. Lafayette didn't know the full story, Alex did though but not every detail. John had left out so much and only told Alex the basics. Alex soothed his side in small circles, he cocked his head into John's so their head was buried against one another's. Lafayette leant up a leg there on the bed as he tried to get himself that bit comfortable.

"Do not blame yourself, mon petit." Lafayette told John gently. "Panic attacks, they happen when you think of the worst or when you are reminded of a time when you were most vulnerable." Alex crunched up his brow at the last of Lafayette's words. Knowing it was him who set John off but Lafayette had already told Alex not to blame himself.

"You can fight them" Lafayette tells him and gives his thigh yet another squish. John nods but it feels forced, he doesn't believe in himself enough to be able to scare off panic attacks. Even though his lasted for around twenty minutes, it was two hours later now and John still felt like he had just been through hell.

Seeing John's sullen agreement Alex gives him another kiss on the cheek, then brings John closer by his waist and kisses his lips. "You know, Jack, whenever there is a storm. I freak the fuck out."

For what felt like forever, John turns to Alex and he looked puzzled. He didn't get it.

"Ah yes" Lafayette says and he's lying himself down there on his side, elbow prepped up as he watches them both and keeps his hand fixed on John's thigh. Rubbing it, squeezing it. Just showing affection and it comforts John.

Alex gives a small breathless laugh and he almost looked embarrassed. Now John really was intrigued. "What?" He says to him, curiosity etched in his tone.

"Yeah" And it was Alex's turn to give a sad smile. "Remember when I told you how I was born and raised in St. Kitts?" John nods along, his face still confused. "Well there was a hurricane. It was probably the worst thing I have ever been through in my life. Besides my mother's death, that is."

John's expression turned to a sympathetic one and he huddles closer to Alex. Lafayette's circular motion of rubs go back to them being up and down. Alex looked to Lafayette who gestured for him to continue. Of course he already knew this but John didn't. "Houses, stores, boats, farms, everything was fucked. Me and my mother, we hid in the basement of my dad's fishing shop. Felt like it was the end, honey, I really did."

"Alex, that's, terrible." John said to him, all of his body felt numb. John couldn't imagine going through that. Not a natural disaster.

Alex just shrugs. "As they say, hun, what didn't kill me, made me stronger. I mean, I fucking hate storms and thunder with a passion and they remind me of back then." He goes on saying, his hand still soothing John on his side. "But you get through it all. Baby boy, you really do. Promise."

That gave John some solace at least but John was far from getting over what he'd been through. "Alexander sometimes tells me he feels weak because of his fear of storms." Lafayette shares and Alex sighs at his husband with a pissy face. "It's true! Mon cher, you know it does not make you weak. Everyone has fears."

Then John briskly cuts in "That's what I said to my brother, Jimmy before I left." He feels Alex stiffen beside him and Lafayette's eyes burning in on him. John was aware he had to continue his story, they both wanted to probably know what triggered his panic attack anyway, but the full story. At this point in, whatever they were, their dynamic, John felt as if he could trust them.

So he tells them, everything. From the start to their father coming back with a bucket of fried chicken and a bottle of pepsi, to revealing his sisters secret, to John running away crying. He watched their expressions change as he told them.

Lafayette had to stop John when he told them about shoving poor Martha's arm in Henry Laurens's face. It hit home to Lafayette, because he told John that one of his dear cousins used to do the same. Alex already knew though. Alex let out a low whistle and said at first he didn't believe John could have done something like that. It was so, un-John-like. But John was dead serious and the pair of them couldn't believe it.

John told them that he felt nothing but shame doing that to Martha. He wasn't going to but he told them about her trips to her counsellor and how she didn't handle depression well. Alex and Lafayette could only sympathise, Alex commented that she was too young to be feeling like the world was ending, but he already knew that himself from experience.

As he continued with the story, John saw how Lafayette showed his emotion more with his eyes, he narrowed them and had that cold look in his eyes when he disapproved of something.

Alex's face erupted into a fit of fury and actually had to ask John twice that his father had a knife to him. After John finished up, he was twiddling with his fingers and Alex was the first to break the silence.

"He held a fucking knife to you!" He all but cries. Lafayette furrows his brow at Alex and hisses for him to be quiet.

John bites his lip and nods. "It is what it is Alex"

Alex leans off the headboard, turns there beside him and he's shaking his head. "He held a fucking knife to him Lafayette" he hissed at his husband and Alex gives him a shove on the shoulder, as if he should be reacting more appalled than the calm, composed way he currently was. "Did you hear me?"

Lafayette gives Alex daggers. "Yes, Alexander. I heard you and I also heard John." Then Lafayette flickers his gaze to John, who appeared to look on edge from their change in attitude to one another. "Mon cheri, John, what happened to you is unspeakable. I am in shock, if I am honest." He tells him with a softer tone. "Your father, mon petit. He is the worst. I am sorry you had to endure that, cheri. No father - non - should ever do that to their child. It is unforgivable". Lafayette gowls. 

John says, "It's fine, it's over now. What's done is done, huh." And he gives yet another shrug and goes to play with a curl. Alex is looking at John like he's just lost the plot and scoffs at him.

"I'm surprised you haven't pressed charges! Jesus, fucking, christ!" Alex boomed. John flinched and Lafayette sits up, groaning about how noisy Alex is. "I'm sorry, John, honey. But you're lucky, so lucky, your dad is fuck-knows, how many miles away from us right now." Alex is shuffling up off the bed and the pair of them are watching him storm to the vanity table. He's grabbing a spare one of Lafayette's hair-ties, not really caring if they aren't his and tying his hair up in a bun.

He asks where his lounge pants are, the nice dark grey legging ones that cling to his legs, John's favourites. Lafayette points to them hanging on the stool. Alex grabs them, he's shimmying out his jeans and into those. "What a motherfucker!" He spits out. Alex tosses the jeans into the hamper, such force added to it and the dive right in like a ball through a hoop.

Lafayette rolls his eyes at Alex. "Alexander, stop overreacting. John is here and he is safe." He says sternly. Lafayette grabs John's hand as if to prove a point. John grips it back and continues to watch Alex prance around the room for his night clothes. He's stripping off his shirt in front of them and tossing it into the hamper by his nightstand.

"Yeah, but for how long?!" Alex shouts, he's gone red in the face almost. He snatches his baggy pyjama top off the the top of the dresser. "I'm sorry, but if I-" Alex is shoving his top on roughly over his head. Lafayette just looks up to the ceiling, his patience is clearly wearing thin with his husband.

Then Alex looks at himself in the mirror and groans "for fuck sake" under his breath when he sees his bun falling out of his hair. He's quickly re-tying it up again. "If I ever fucking meet his bastard of a dad, I'll end up killing him." Alex growls out.

"Alexander!" Lafayette gasps while John's eyes went wide.

Alex shrugs and his myriad of hate doesn't end there either. "I should have that asshole seen off! I would, honestly. I'd hire a fuckin' hit man!" Lafayette's mouth dropped open. John just gone as stiff as stone. "In fact, balls to that. It'd be easier just to shoot the fucker myself!"

"Do you even hear yourself?!" Lafayette shouts, he's completely outraged. He knows Alex's anger gets the best of him sometimes but right now with John being as fragile as he was, it just wasn't the time to start mouthing off such ridiculousness.

"Yes I do!" Alex shouts back, but louder. Lafayette looked taken aback as he did. "I'd do it for him, I'd give it all up for John!"

At this all of the eyes in the room went at their widest. John gulps, his throat has gone red raw. He feels breathless, he could not believe what he'd just heard. No way would Alex ever do that, not for him, he was just his sugar baby, a guy he'd known all the five minutes. Lafayette was the love of his life. Lafayette hitched a breath and then his face goes from shocked to just pure disbelief.

Lafayette's expression turns to hurt, to say 'what about me' and he doesn't even say anything back this time. John looked back to Lafayette, he sees this expression and Alex runs a hand over his face, he made yet another mistake. Him and his big mouth, he looked to John and John glared back.

He's the only one alert right now, while Alex looked ashamed and Lafayette was staring in space. John had to say something, anything and he shouts, "Both of you. Just shut up! Please!" He whacks a hand down there on the mattress stunning them both. "Please, don't fight. Not over me."

Then the pair of them stop, Lafayette whispers an apology while Alex remains silent. He's in the wrong.

Alex sees their expressions there in the mirror and he turns to them, throwing his hands up and leans against the vanity table with his head hanging for a moment. Alex knew he went too far with his words. "Listen, shit. I shouldn't have said that. John, I apologise." He holds a hand up as he does. "Honey, I'm so, so sorry."

But then he says, "I just hate to think of that bastard hurting you or even attempting to threaten you. I hate him before I've even met him" Then he looks up at them there on the bed.

"Now, stop. That is enough" Lafayette snapped. "Enough, Alexander, although it is terrible what happened. This is John's father, whether you like it or not. Why must you be so insensitive!"

Alex's big brown eyes went wide at him and he hung his head down again. He nods, his fingers tapping against the table he leant against. "You're right."

But what John says next shocked the pair of them.

"I don't really care, Alex. He's pratically dead to me." Alex looked back up at him and Lafayette's brow tightened. He grips John's hand tighter and looked as if he wanted to say something but he didn't. Lafayette understood.

"John" Alex said in almost a whisper. "Just because of what I said, it doesn't mean you have to agree with me, that's if you are though. I mean, fuck. I just can't believe it."

"No, Alex, it's fine. I've been wanting to kind of hear someone else say it. To say, the big man, South Carolina senator, Henry Laurens, dickhead of the year father of five, should just fucking -" John babbled, tears were welling up in his eyes, they stung and his nose was getting all runny again. "Fucking - fuckin' - fuck-" He spluttered out and he ended up coughing. Choking and crying. At this Alex lunged over back to the bed and he's gone to cradle John. Lafayette was already trying to calm him down.

"Shit, stop, stop" John wheezed out. He hated it when he cried, he always felt so pathetic and small. He wasn't a child, he was the big brother who always knew what was right, he work pal who gave advice despite being gay who helped and listened to Hercules complain about the girls he dated, the friend who patted Peggy's running mascara when she was having a bad day on her period, held Eliza when he ex-girlfriend just before dumped her and de-stressed Angelica when she was having a bad day with college work.

"John" Lafayette rasped out, almost desperately. "Mon petit, you do not have to hide away from us" and it sounded as if he chuckled too.

"Yeah, stop hiding you." Alex gives him a little poke in his ass. John squirmed.

Of course, John knew he was being ridiculous right now. He didn't have to keep hiding, running from these two amazing men, gorgeous, doting men who apparently cared for him. John did though, he had his back to them as he buried his face into the pillow there and he felt them just rub at his back.

"Baby" Alex heaved out wearily. "We've got you, we're here and we're not going anywhere" At this Alex darted his eyes to Lafayette and he gave Alex a small smile. Alex smiled back and took Lafayette's hand. Clutching it, his grip secure and gave an apologetic press. He rubbed his thumb over it and Lafayette did the same back.

Alex's grin grew, his husband forgave him for his little outburst. Lafayette knew he loved him to the moon and back. Although there was still a glimmer of warning in Lafayette's eyes, to say, not to go there again.

For the next five minutes John was burying himself away just weeping and eventually he stopped. Thanks to the amounts of kisses, hugs and rubs on his body. He was still in his towel there, the warmness of the pair kept him warm but John was starting to feel a tad nippy. His crying stopped and his sniffled remained. He was currently now lay in the middle of the bed with Alex spooning him at the back and Lafayette in front toying with his hair.

"You both must think I'm such a drama queen" John mumbled, the first thing he had said in the past ten minutes.

Lafayette and Alex only chuckled.

Lafayette gave the strand he had currently in his hold a little tug. "You are mistaken, cheri, there is only one drama queen here." Lafayette switches to Alex who just squints his eyes, pouts and gives him a playful nudge with his foot there on the bed.

"Hmmm" Goes John. "He is, isn't he" Lafayette cracked up with laughter, Alex gave John a little spank on his backside. Nothing too kinky but enough to get the point across. "I feel really bad, it's so late. Laf don't you have work tomorrow? You're probably so tired, after today and Alex, all you were trying to do was practice with me but that happened." John groaned. "I had to have a stupid panic attack..." He shook his head, he couldn't believe himself sometimes. All this over a presentation. "It's a wonder you both even put up with me"

With that Lafayette looked back to Alex as they both frowned. Alex moves a curl behind John's ear and whispered, "Because, we both want you. Jack, haven't you put two and two together already?"

"More like three and three together, Mon cher" Lafayette added smoothly. Alex raised a brow at his husband's goofiness.

John chewed the inside of his mouth, he was thinking about what Alex had just said and his heart sped up. His tear-stained cheeks burning. Lafayette reached to drive away the dampness there on his cheeks and smiled at him.

"We want you to be ours, little John." Lafayette tells him sweetly. His pretty sleek eyes meeting John's, who shyly looked up at him. "Me and Alexander, we have spoken about it. We would like to fully have you in our relationship."

John felt his stomach do roly-polies. His heart was drumming, his fingers were sweaty and toes. God, this was happening. John looked between them both with big scared puppy eyes.

"Would you like that?" Alex asks him, John can feel Alex's hand on his shoulder behind him there, squeezing it. "Hm, honey?"

John had to wonder, was this some kind of marriage proposal or something. Wait, he wasn't even sure those existed between three people, let alone three men. He doesn't know what to really say. It's kind of sudden, they hadn't really confirmed that they were all together until now. Since Valentines day, from their lengthy night of blow-jobs and fondling, that had all they'd done since. Just oral, nothing too heavy and John hadn't had sex with either of them both together. They haven't had a proper, full on, threesome which involved cock to ass. Not yet.

The thought as alluring as it was, it still put him on edge. Sometimes the oral sex with them both at once made John burn up and coil away. When he had slept with them both individually, it was different, it was intimate and it was just him with either of them on their own. Together, at once, it just made John feel nervous still.

So instead of giving an answer John switches the record and ignored it. "Daddy, papa" John mumbles out. He knew it was probably such an inappropriate time to even be slipping into this side of their dynamic. After what had just gone on with John's real father too. But Alex and Lafayette pay it no mind.

Whenever John brought up those names, they knew he wanted something, things were heating up. Alex takes his waist and he's pulling John further into himself, Lafayette huddles that bit closer.

It was still fairly new to Lafayette since he wasn't that experienced with being called "papa" or "daddy" for that matter. John was aware Lafayette did have a couple of arrangements like his and Alex's before today. But Alex and John took it that bit further, they really went all out with the age play. Lafayette didn't mind so far, he seemed to like it. John was the cutest and the younger the pair of them had ever had the pleasure to date.

"What is it, mon petit?" Lafayette asks, his voice like wool.

"Cold" John mutters. He wiggles his body as if to prove a point and they both look down, remembering he's still in just a towel. Alex's eyes turn that bit darker and he's looking to his husband. Lafayette just smirked. He pets the side of John's face softly.

"You are not in your pyjamas yet, we must change that." He says, darkly. Lafayette is still connecting eyes with Alex. "Alexander, pass me his pyjamas, we best dress him."

Alex chuckled. He leans down and he gives John's ear a nip on the top. John mewls and he looked up at Alex with a mere frown. "Do we have to? I kinda prefer him lay here, half-naked." Alex gripped John's backside through the towel there as he spoke.

"No" John whines. He kicked out a leg. "Cold" John is looking them both dead in the eyes, instantly Alex catches on and Lafayette does too.

As John rolls on his back from against Alex's chest, he's looking at them both with a pout. Using the big eyes, working his baby face up to its charm. Lafayette chews his lip and he's smiling, flickering his dark eyes to Alex, almost as if they were conjuring up a plan telepathically and Alex is looking down at John as he shifts to sit up.

"Well, I suppose, we could find a to warm you up." Alex whispered. "What do you think babe?"

John is still looking back and forward between them. Waiting.

Lafayette's eyes are roaming on John's smaller lithe body lay there, feasting on John's taunt freckled stomach with the odd mole or two and chest. He isn't as big or built as himself, John was smaller than them both. Not completely petite but just toned, lean. Lafayette always found John's body incredibly cute in some ways, he had muscles and he was built in his own little way.

Still it was just amusing because he was so young. Not that he didn't love Alex's body because he did but the two were different. There was always that thrill with someone younger, the innocence parts of their body held and the flexibility was all still there.

"I think our petit cheri would appreciate that." Lafayette purrs and he's throwing his other leg on the bed now, getting on to his knees. It would a good job the bed was big as it was, three grown men weren't exactly light John feels the mattress shift and he was sure he'd just heard the springs beneath them all make a 'clung'.

Alex leans down first to capture John's lips, as he does his tongue enters his mouth and John ties his own around Alex's. They're having a full blown out game of tonsil tennis right there, Alex presses his arm down on the other side of John's head, his fingers raking in John's hair, tips twiddling with its coils. John makes a small moan as they're kissing, Lafayette dips down and decides to make himself useful.

He's got a hand on John's chest, fingers twitching his nipple and he's started to kiss right down John's stomach. Leaving small trails of tender kisses, one after the other right down as he did. John moaned even more when Alex switched from his lips to his neck, he knew the exact spot where John fell weak. Just above just adams apple. Alex sucked on that spot, John rippling ragged moans at they worked on him, both at their own paces, different tactics and John felt himself harden when Lafayette was going further down, he stopped at the nub of where the towel was tucked in around his waist.

"Shit" John murmured. He re-closed his eyes and bit his lip. Alex caressed one side of his face, still sucking and leaving a great big dirty love-bite on his neck. One that John wouldn't be too pleased about but he liked it. He liked being marked by Alex, he was his, theirs. Sure it was a nuisance at work when Hercules eyed him up, smirking when he noticed. But when John was like this, motionless, far gone in the depths of pure bliss between the two men he loved to be with. It was worth it.

John enjoyed it, this feeling of being owed, belonging to someone, it was always great in sex but also it made John feel wanted. He felt valued and cared for in some way, physically and emotionally.

"Daddy" John squeaked out. Alex was going for another part of his neck and this spot he found, it made John squirm and even though he tried to get away for a second, it being too much, too blissful, Alex kept hold of him by his cheek still and held John down as he went at it. John whimpering a string of little moans. "Fuck daddy, hn, god, mm" He spewed out.

Lafayette on the other hand was unravelling the towel and leaving John bare for them both to see. John was too busy with Alex and his mind immediately remembered Lafayette when he felt his cock exposed. At this John's re-opening his eyes and he's got Alex's head in his way but he can see Lafayette begin to stoop down and he's taking his dick.

As he did Lafayette looked in John's direction and John bit his lip, as a signal to continue, his eyes curious. He wanted to see Lafayette in action, but he found he could not break free from the intense gaze aimed at him. John scowled at his own unease, but then finally shuffled obediently downwards indicating for Lafayette to get on with it.

"Jesus fuck, baby, you're so soft. You're always super soft." Alex whispers to him, another suck landing on his neck, John's adams apple bobbing up as he did. Then Alex breaks away again, John was still holding eye contact with Lafayette on the other end of him. "How often do you go between shaves? You're like velvet."

John allowed one hand to drift down and come softly to rest on Lafayette's broad shoulder. With the other hand he tentatively reached out to touch his curled roots. He was mindful of Lafayette's puff-pony and focused on his scalp.

"A week" John's voice was fairly small when he confessed. Unlike Hercules who could break into a full blown beard the next day. It was kind of embarrassing, John never really gained much facial hair. At the same time he was glad, he didn't think he'd suit it. The most he ever had was probably under his chin, slight stubble, nothing more.

As his slender fingers lightly stroked the thick dark locks, Lafayette's sensation of this exhalation warming his hunger, he was slipping his lean fingers around John's shaft and already got his rousing cock to start.

Lafayette brushed his lips gently across his abdomen and began tracing a circle of kisses around his navel. John sighed; he closed his eyes and allowed himself to melt into the feeling of Lafayette's mouth on his skin. He reveled in the contrasting sensations of sharp stubble and silky smoothness.

"God, that's cute." Alex giggled into his neck and he plants another kiss on it, before working his way back to John's swollen lips.

Delighted at the new firmness of John's cock, Lafayette explored his now un-obscured erection. Despite the smallness of his frame, John's cock was a good length, not too big but not small. A goldilocks cock if you will - and there were his beautiful balls. After nuzzling his nose against the smallish patch of John's pubic hair, Lafayette started kissing up and down the hardened length.

The taste only further stirred his hunger.

As he was fondling it this only encouraged John's pleasured noises, Lafayette leaned backwards. Never loosening his hold, by either hands or mouth, he carefully pulled John down onto to the bed with him, Alex squawked at this and John yelped in surprise. Lafayette dove right in, he began to bob his head in a slow but steady rhythm, until he had taken John's entire length into his throat.

John sucked in his breath, overwhelmed by the sensations welling up within him. Knowing where this was going, once again he was seized with apprehension. Alex chuckled out, "Always full of surprises babe" and he's shuffling back to John, leaning over again to take his neck. John through blurred vision, the chandelier on the ceiling wall was all he could keep his eyes on. Luckily it wasn't on so it didn't blind him but he concentrated on that and his breathing. Each ragged breath becoming more heavier than the last.

As Lafayette's skilled tongue and heated mouth worked on him, John could also feel a finger, already wet with spit tunnel into his crack. Getting what he was trying to do, John opened his legs wider and John felt Lafayette's slim finger slip inside of him. Then there was another, both of them opening him up and pressing right there. Right against that spot. Usually it took Alex longer but with the amount of blow jobs and fingers Lafayette had given him over the past few weeks, he remembered right away.

Alex pulled away, licking at his glistened pink lips to admire just how breathless John was getting. He turned to his husband, watching Lafayette work John's hole, the room filling with wet squelching noises and John's little moans. Alex pervertedly looked over to see what Lafayette was doing, watching his fingers churn around John's ass. He hummed in approval.

Then Lafayette got that spot again and John whined. His little face a crumpled look of desperation and joy. Alex bobbed his eyebrows and he chuckled.

"Damn, babe. You found it easier than I did -" Alex says, he's running a hand through John's curls as he does. "Usually takes me ages doesn't it, honey?"

John may be hazed but he finds some strength to look over at Alex with a mighty glare. Alex laughs more.

"I think Laf has anal vision" Alex cackled. Lafayette looked up to Alex. While his fingers still sliding in and out of John, harder this time and he's shaking his head at his husband. John rolled his head back, he's trying to not stifle a moan but he ends up doing so as he tells Alex to shut up.

Alex remains laughing as he continued to soothe John's hair, he feels John's head drop back onto the pillows. Under such energetic attentions John was quickly losing control. With one hand he clutched the soft silk sheets of the bed, balling them in his fist. His other hand flew up and covered his eyes and, in this passion imposed blindness, all of his bodily sensations seemed to multiply.

Though John fought desperately to keep himself quiet, a soft cry escaped from his guarded throat.

Lafayette heard the sound and looked up. He caught the vision of John in the throes of his impending release: head pulled back, back arched. He found himself wondering if he would ever find a word in not just French, but also the English language that would be able to capture something as exquisite. Whether one could possibly convey through an arrangement of words an emotion as powerful as the one he was experiencing in this moment.

Knowing that the sensitivity of John's still relatively untried dick would drive him to a quick release, Lafayette withdrew his mouth and instead of sucking, slid his mouth up and down the sides of John's withering cock, from base to drooling tip. With his hand, he gently cupped his soft sac. A finger slipped back caressing the sensitive seam from John's balls to his pucker, Lafayette's tongue continued to follow.

"Shit, I'm gonna cum, oh god" John breathed out. Alex lifted John's back up as he scuffled behind him, he's got John resting in his lap, Lafayette continues to beat him off skilfully.

"Papa!" John cried. His freckled cheeks amidst in complete fluster, his hazel eyes were glistening with need and his bottle lip was trembling. Hearing that name though, it lit a fire inside Lafayette because now he's working John even faster. His own breaths are ragged and he fixated his eyes remotely on John's face. Alex's eyes concentrate on John's cock, he's waiting, watching it to surrender any moment now.

"Papa, please, let me cum" John rasps. "Daddy, daddy tell him! Let him make me cum! Papa, _please_!"

Alex is biting his lip to the point where it was enough to bleed. He's eyeing Lafayette who locks eyes with Alex, Alex nods and Lafayette continues until John is just done. He's done.

There was no sweeter sound in Lafayette's ears than their beautiful boy begging so sweetly and so, mercifully, he complied, grabbing Lafayette's spit-slicked dick at its base, using his hand, pumping in unison with the resumed motion of his mouth. In just moments, sperm shot down his throat.

When John's pulsing cock was finally at rest, Lafayette released it and began kissing his way back up the lithe body. He reached John's face to find hazel eyes, love-hazed, tired and vulnerable. Lafayette pecked his lips sweetly and murmured against them, "Are you warmer now, mon petit?"

As John was just about to nod and say he felt tons better, Lafayette slides out his fingers from his hole and from this, a winded noise left John. There was a pause of silence when this happened. Lafayette's eyes went like golf balls, John's jaw dropped and his face went another shade of red. Alex however just looked at the pair of them and snorted loudly.

"I-I swear to god, I did not just do that -" John stammers as he's sitting up. "Fuck!"

He can't even look Lafayette in the eyes. Alex shoved his shoulder playfully and John falls on his back.

"Oh honey!" Alex dies of laughter. It's hilarious to him. Lafayette ends up laughing along and rubs John's thigh to calm him down from his embarrassment.

John covers a hand over his face, he can feel just how warm he is now, his face is on fire. "What?!" John shouts at Alex. "I didn't!"

Alex balls his eyes, he's still laughing though. Lafayette tells him not to embarrass John further. "Why is it embarrassing? Everyone farts, jesus." Alex teases, he gives John a prod in the stomach. He knows full well it was probably just trapped air from Lafayette's fingers inside of John. But using it to get a reaction out of John was always fun. Seeing him worked up, all defensive like this, Alex held his stomach when John batted his arm. Lafayette watching them both in amusement.

"I didn't fart!" John cried, scowling at Alex. Alex snorted again and he's catching John's wrists when he went to paw at him again. Alex raises his brow, he's still cracking up and he's pushing back on the bed.

"Sure, kitten. Sure." Alex taunts. "We gotta sleep in these sheets y'know" John's poor face was a picture, he's already ashamed and fairly embarrassed of basically anal queefing in front of them both. He's looking to Lafayette who's sat by his side and Lafayette tilts his head back, watching them both with a small heave.

John tries to break free from Alex's grasp. "You're such an ass" He moaned.

Alex clutched his wrists tighter. "We're not really into that kind of thing, honey. Our kinky side doesn't really push to _that_ limit. But hey! Hey, we're open people. There's always a first time for everything!" He joked, with a big dorky grin. Lafayette looked as if he was about to loose the world to live. John was still madly blushing and tells Alex to shut it as he remains struggling out of his hold.

"I swear, Alex!"

"Alexander" Lafayette scolds.

As usual Alex continues to ignore him, he's wrestling John on the bed, straddling his waist as he's got John's wrists. John kicks up a leg and shouts, "Papa! Daddy is picking on me!" Alex drops his forehead against John's as he remains in tucks of laughter.

Lafayette gave in and saved John by yanking him by the legs again and whooshing him away from Alex. With all his laughing Alex's grip on him is weakened, he lets go of John and John crawls up to Lafayette. John playfully sticks out his tongue and huddles into him as he gives Alex playful daggers. Alex scoffed at the pair of them, John for him pulling his tongue and his own husband for giving him the smuggest of smiles.

Alex wafts a hand at them both. "You're such a little mooch" He mutters.

John kept his eye locked with Alex, he's wondering his hands over Lafayette's chest flirtatiously and locking his arms around Lafayette's neck. "This is what happens when you mistreat your little one, Alexander" Lafayette says and he's holding John by the waist. John looked back to Alex as if to prove a point, his hazel eyes wide and fluttering them as he nodded along with Lafayette. Alex nudges John's backside with his foot lightly.

"Fucking tease" Alex grouches.

So then John tilts his head, he pulls his little pout. The one that Alex loved, the one that got Alex off and sent him to heaven. Then John had an idea and a mean one at that.

John's settling himself there in Lafayette's lap, rutting on him, Lafayette obviously liking where this is going, he's murmuring something in French. Only Alex could understand and he looked pissed. Lafayette's hand wander down to John's asscheeks, he's squishing them, squeezing them. Bitterly but with a joking tone, Alex couldn't help himself hiss, "Careful, Laf, he may just fucking blow you away."

The comment made Lafayette snicker but he's still gritting his nails in John's ass. John just pulls another tongue at Alex, he tries to ignore him and bobs himself even more against Lafayette. Alex watches them with a frown, hating how he's been left out.

"Jealous much, daddy?" John teased. He stifles a laugh when Alex's eyes narrowed.

So he pushed it. "Maybe I'll run off with Laf, take him from you." John says, his smile grows and it pisses Alex off.

"Perhaps we should" Lafayette says wryly, he's watching just how Alex began to seethe. Lafayette knew it didn't take much for him to get riled with jealously. Alex was so easy to just snap.

Then both Lafayette and John's eyes widened and they both laughed, when Alex practically pounced the pair of them. Possessively cradling both John and his husband. "Mon cher, he was joking!" Lafayette cried. The weight of Alex knocking them all down there on the bed, Lafayette almost falls off over the edge, John in crushed by Alex and they're all squirming around in fits of giggles.

Alex is landing such a spank on John's ass, it echoes the room and he shoves Lafayette in the shoulder. "And you say I bully you?!" Alex says to John, giving him a poke then a tickle on his side.

"Daddy! Stop! I didn't mean it!" John's squirming from the contact and laughs.

"Huh? You think I pick on you? You cheeky little asshole!"

Then it's Lafayette who is turning on John, he's helping Alex tickle the life out of John and he's in tucks of laughter. Crying for them both to stop, the sheets all messed up beneath them. But as they do, John is happy again and they're both pleased to see him smiling.

When they're finished tickling the absolute life out of him, Alex and Lafayette have John dressed in his pyjamas. Alex never got round to finishing any work that night, not after John's panic attack. So they have a quick dinner, wash up and then they're back in the bedroom, it's fully dark now, all of them underneath the sheets and John is in-between them.

Lafayette asks John when he must present his work, John informs him and Lafayette promises John that he'll give him some held. Coach him with his confidence, Lafayette was all about presenting and had them almost everyday during his meetings at work. John thanked him with a kiss and held his arm underneath the sheets. Alex was at the back of John, rubbing him and apologised to John again for pushing him and causing the panic attack to happen, John brushed it off.

It was over with now.

Just before they fell asleep, Lafayette checking his phone, the glow lighting up the room, Alex shuffled closer behind John and put his face into the crook of John's neck behind him. He's swiping away some of his curls, hiding them behind his ear for him.

"So, have you thought about it, honey?" Alex asks quietly.

John turns his head to him, letting go of Lafayette's arm and he's on his back. "What?" John goes. He's lost.

Alex props himself up as he clears his throat. "You know, what Laf said earlier."

"Would you like to be a part of our relationship, properly, mon cheri" Lafayette cuts in as he's tapping away on his screen. He's finishing up with something then leaning over to the phone down on his stand.

 

Oh that.

 

John's throat tightens up again. He doesn't know what to say, he thought he was already together with Alex. "I thought... we already were something." John adds.

He doesn't really want to talk about this. Not now. 

Alex paws a hand through the hair on his forehead, he rakes it back. Lafayette turns to him. John can feel Lafayette's hand palm him thigh. "Well, we kind of are" Lafayette says. "But it would be nice if it were more of an official deal. You have been with us for a fair few months now, little Laurens."

Time really had flown by. John spent almost every weekend with them or day if he could manage it. He would bring over a night bag, John already had a spare toothbrush of his own in their bathroom, he left some of his other toiletries too in there for the next time he stayed.

There were other things too. Sometimes in the week John was bringing groceries when he finished work or a class. Casually dropping them in the fridge or kitchen cupboards. Cooking together in the weekday, talking about their day, catching up on soaps, bathing together. When he thought about it all, things were already very domesticated between them all.

And he liked it. But John still felt scared, he was getting swept away and he remembered what his plan was. To use them for their money and flee, drop a simple "this isn't going to work" text and then that would be it. No more heartbreak, not after Francis, his mother dying, his father hurting him, John couldn't do it again. He couldn't lose these two when they get bored of him, eventually they will.

They were in an open relationship, for gods sake. Alex ever the sex maniac and Lafayette who enjoyed the next partner, just as much as his husband did. Pussy or asshole, it didn't matter. John knew this couldn't last.

Nope, John Laurens was most definitely not going to get hurt.

He grips the sheet and John just yawned.

Lafayette and Alex were still waiting, he had to give them an answer. Anything. 

"I just want you both to be my daddies" John says in a small voice. "In that way, obviously."

"Mon cheri, what do you-"

Then Alex cuts in immediately. "That's fine." He says firmly. "Cool, okay, that's fine."

Alex knew what he meant and Lafayette did too. John was sticking by the arrangement side of it all, that he wasn't after taking things to the next level, even though they already felt like they were there. John could feel the mood dip when Lafayette removes his hand off his thigh, he turns back around and said goodnight to them both. Alex sighs and he gives John a kiss on his forehead.

"Alex, it's okay, right?" John feels bad.

His stomach is in knots again. Alex took a little longer than he would've liked to respond, John can tell he's in thought there in the dark beside him. He knows Alex probably wants to object.

"Sure, honey." Another pause from Alex. "Anyway, you get some sleep." Alex tells him and he's shuffling back down again under the sheets.

It wasn't okay. John knew they didn't find it okay. He knew they wanted him to fully be a part of their relationship.

John looks at them both back and forth there in the dark. Then he looked up to the ceiling, he can see some of the chandelier glimmer from the tint of moonlight that is shining through the gap of the curtains.

For the second time that night John tries to fight away the tears. He hates how he can never just allow himself to be happy. But whenever he was, it always ended badly. The people he loved always left in some way, shape or form. These two, these amazing men, lay right beside him. They were all he had.

The following evening after John is gifted with Lafayette's help and he is prepared for his class presentation. Lafayette was an amazing help, John found that he breezed through it on the day when it came to presenting. He had no panic attack, he kept it strong and actually enjoyed showing his work. As the weeks passed after that and the Easter holiday was almost near.

Lafayette and Alex didn't ask John again whether he wanted to be a part of their relationship. They kept doing what they did, not far short living together, caring for each other. The only problem was that both Lafayette and Alex were waiting for John. For him to finally realise it that he was already together with them.

Even to them, in such a short space of time, they were surprised by just how much John meant to them.

He was part of their lives now, their missing puzzle piece.

They hoped maybe eventually John would come to terms with his feelings, break down his wall and let them in. 

Because both Lafayette and Alex, they were already deeply in love with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh this must be the longest period I've made you guys wait for the next chapter... I'm so sorry! I've been so busy this weekend and just tired really. But yay! It's up and our John is still being petty as ever :<
> 
> I was out today actually, burger joint restaurant and one guy working there had the Alex man-bun. Literally the same style and look as Lin. I was chomping on my fries, dipping them in my mayo and shrugging my pal going "Oh my god look! He's got the Alex hair!" and she's just spaced out like "the fuck are you on about jesus". I'm too invested in this story, it's so worrying but I love writing it! 
> 
> Also anal queefs are a thing! Trust. 
> 
> ;) 
> 
> I'm so glad you are all enjoying this story, it means a lot to me! I appreciate all your kudos and lovely comments! They always make me smile and make my day SHINE <3


	13. THIS IS HOW WE DO IT

Spring break came and left as quickly as it arrived.

In that time John had been gifted with a key card of his own to Alex and Lafayette's penthouse by them. They thought it was time John should have one of his own, rather than them running to the door every five minutes to let him back in when he came over. Plus, they trusted him. Fully now. John appreciated it and thanked them both. It was such a big step, he had his own key. John felt honoured in a way.

But also John had met up with Eliza, Angelica and Peggy for a day out to some water park. It felt awkward meeting up with them after so long, John noticed how hesitant Peggy was with him, she was snippy and short-tempered. John felt like he couldn't do right for doing wrong. He got drinks in, Peggy told him she didn't want what he got her anymore since she preferred something else now. Eliza and Angelica kind of left him out when he tried talking to them. John honestly, he felt like a tag along. Peggy kind of just put up with him simply because he was there. He was on the end, following them around as they laughed and gossiped about things John had missed out on. It felt awful.

Then when they hit a bar and got in a round, Angelica was high on her beer, she asked what John's deal was, why he hadn't hung out with them for ages. John explained that he had a lot of things going for him and Peggy cut him off, she blurted out how John had 'a dickhead boyfriend, called Alex and he never let John play out anymore'. Both Eliza and Angelica's faces dropped, John became defensive and even more so with alcohol in him.

Peggy tells him to get over himself and John, he knew he shouldn't have done this. But he's so sick of Peggy's sly digs against Alex, she had been at it for weeks and John couldn't bare anyone bashing Alex.

So as possessive as it was, John narrowed his eyes then grabs his beer and he poured it over her. Peggy was screaming, Eliza had her hand over her mouth and Angelica was baring daggers at him then shouting. John didn't listen, he didn't stick around, he gave Peggy a simple 'peace bitch' then after that he got up and just left them all. John left the water park in such a state that day because once he was in a taxi, he was crying not to try and he pulled up at Alex and Lafayette's instead of going home alone. They sorted him out, listened to what had happened and took care of him.

Although Alex and Lafayette disapproved of what John did. John didn't care - he didn't need Peggy or her sisters. 

After that event John didn't hear from the Schuyler sisters again. He knew he should apologise but John didn't. He had nothing to say. When he college classes were back on again, John had seen Eliza a few times around campus. She was the only one who gave him the time of day, Eliza could never, ever stay mad at anyone. She even gave her cheating ex-girlfriend, that Maria Lewis, a second chance.

As the weeks passed spring eventually turned into summer. John got most of his college projects finished, he continued to work at Lava Java for the banter with Hercules and just for something else to do, despite being financially stable. Alex had been dropping huge cash sums of money into his account over the past couple of months. Pretty figures and John wasn't complaining, at all. But he still kept his job on just incase.

One weekend there in July Alex told John that him and Lafayette were hosting a get together with some friends. He told John it wasn't going to be like New Year, there wasn't going to be tons of people this time.

Alex knew John, he didn't like too much of a crowd. John went with Lafayette to get in some drink and snacks, Alex was busy with some extra things for work and he told Lafayette he would give the place a tidy up before they came back. When John and Lafayette came back from the store, Alex had some of the spare chairs out on the balcony, there already was a sofa bench out there with its arched gazebo but Alex said 'just incase'. John's face was a picture and Alex told him to suck it up.

The evening came fairly fast as John helped Lafayette around the kitchen and Alex hung up a few of these fairy light lanterns outside. John said were really pretty, all pastel colours. Alex laughed and said he got them from Target. Lafayette looked as if he couldn't believe his husband stepped inside such a store. Alex called his husband a snob, Lafayette scoffed at his words and John had to agree with Alex, Target wasn't all that bad. 

When everyone arrived later on, there wasn't too many people, thankfully for John. John ended up meeting Alex's old friend and boss, a tall, stocky build man with a bald head. Copper skin, bushy brows and a gap between his teeth. He held out a hand to John, told him he was called George.

There was a couple of others too, a Martha, Aaron, Adrienne and another woman called Sally. They were all lovely people John found, they didn't seem to push John into too much detail about his relationship with Lafayette and Alex. They were all for the banter, the drinks and their warm hospitality made John at ease. They're sat outside on the balcony, John between this George and Lafayette.

Alex was on another seat next to his boss, while he had an around around Martha, he's chatting her ear off about something to do with one of the company projects. A they were all talking away. Lafayette between drags of his cigarette did whisper into his ear "Are you alright, cheri?" to John, he kept checking up on him, trying to make sure John felt as home and not too nervous. These people were all half of John's age. John didn't mind, he told Lafayette he was fine and Lafayette grinned.

A little while after and John could feel his bladder screaming. As he stands up, the coffee table between them all is so close to his knees that John is nearly knocking everyones drink. He excuses himself, he's nearly tripping over Lafayette's long legs, Alex had been drinking since that morning and now he was high as a kite on booze. He's laughing along with Martha, George says "Careful there, son" and Lafayette ends up getting up just to let John properly pass since he could get out. Lafayette is taking John by the arm, guiding him past the table and Alex is pointing, he's in a giggly mood and shouts "Look at him! That's my baby boy! Isn't he just the fucking cutest, though? Like seriously. Dunno how I bagged that lil piece of ass." Alex slurs as he's knocking back his wine.

Martha giggled in agreement, she thinks John is adorable and kept saying it all night to Alex, the pair of them had been watching John all night there. Admiring a rosy-cheeked John who sat coyly at Lafayette's side. Adrienne giggles along while Lafayette is telling Alex to calm down, he knows just how bad of a show off Alex could be, John looked super embarassed and Lafayette lets John pass him to go back inside.

When John get back inside, it's just him in there and he's rushing through the bedroom, into the bathroom for the toilet. After reliving himself, a quick once over in the mirror making sure his curly high pony-tail was neatly in place still, John washes up and leaves the bathroom. As he's coming back into the main room, passing the kitchen and dinette, John hears a the front door go. Everyone is still outside, laughter rising, and he can hear Alex's voice out of everyones the most. John rolled his eyes and since he was the only one here, he may as well just go ahead and open it.

John didn't bother with the peep hole, he just turns the handle and throws open the door. The alcohol inside him made it all that more aggressive and he staggered a bit when he ripped it open. John didn't recognise these men.

There was a shorter black guy and a tall biracial man before him. Both of them dressed to the nines, sleek shirts tucked into their jeans. The shorter one had on this little navy waistcoat and tan flat cap hat.

The tall man, John couldn't keep his eyes off him at all. Dressed in his purple plum blazer, a fitted white shirt underneath and John noted the designer belt. But he also found this guy looked a little bit similar to Lafayette if he was honest. Except his features were different, his nose that bit uppity, thinner lips and his scruff was cut different. John couldn't help but admire that big cloud of curly coiled dark ringlets he sported though. They looked super soft, they were gorgeous and he even smelled great.

Whoever this man was, he looked down on John with a raised brow and then batted his toothy pearly-white grin. "Why, hello there" He greeted, it almost sounded like a purr and immediately John recognised this guy's accent. It was broad, southern and for a moment he felt a little proud to not be the only southerner in the building.

Then John turned to the other guy who was fishing out his phone, he gave John a small "Hey" and put the phone up to his ear.

John looked between them and his mouth is babbling like a goldfish. He shyly greets them with a "Hey there" and asks who they were. The taller man is arching his head to the side to have a look around the door, as if he was looking for someone but John didn't really want to let them in. Not until he knew who they were.

"Who are you both?" John asks, a little caution to his tone.

The taller man looked surprised, as if he couldn't believe someone had asked him that and then he just crudely laughed. His friend was in the background, standing against the wall as he chattered away on his phone. "Is Lafayette in?" He asks, completely ignoring John's question. "Ey! Ey! Lafayette!" He shouts. John ends up just opening the door wider since he thinks it's better to just let them in.

As John does and the pair of them come strolling in. He closes the door behind them and the taller one, he's gone straight out to the balcony, his friend is still in the doorway talking to whoever it was. John is stood there in awe, he's confused, but he figures if Lafayette knows them then it must be okay. Seconds later Lafayette is coming inside with the taller guy, they're both giving each other a side bro-to-bro hug and laughing. John can't believe how much they look alike, it was quite scary.

John walks towards them, hands in his pockets and decides he best just introduce himself. Lafayette and whoever he was were talking, then they notice John. The taller guy looks down at him there in the corner of his beady eyes, he's grinning cheekily and Lafayette reaches a hand out to John, his fingers raking through the back of his pony-tail.

"Ah, Mon ami, this is John Laurens." Lafayette tells him. John feels really small between them, they're both over six foot and so good looking. They're like a pair of male super models. John had been blessed by their presence, they're dreamy, Lafayette and this guy. John pulls himself together, snapping out of his little dreamy haze about their pair and gives this guy a small but unsure smile, he reaches a hand from out his pocket to whoever this guy was. The guy takes it, his hands are really warm and soft John thinks. He squeezes John's hand and as John tries to let go, this guy doesn't.

He leans down there to John, giving him a once over, lopsided grin. "So this is the little pipsqueak you were tellin' me all about"

John's jaw dropped. He wasn't a child and Lafayette catches on. He gives this guy a little shove in his shoulder. "Be nice, he is a sweet boy"

At this it only seemed to fuel the fire in this guy's ends and he reluctantly let go of John's hand. John placed it back in his pocket, he felt really awkward. "Well, it's nice to meet you. My name is Thomas. Thomas Jefferson." This so-called Thomas has his hand on his chest as he introduces himself proudly. He came across a little cocky, handsome, but smug. Then that name ringed a bell, John was sure he had heard of this guy pop up somewhere before.

"That guy over there - that's my colleague and old friend, James Madison" Thomas gestured, James was still by the door on his phone. He gave John a wave when he locked eyes with them all since they were staring at him.

Lafayette nods and he rubs a hand on the lower of John's back. Thomas kept staring at John, eyeing him and John was thankful Lafayette stepped in to make him more comfortable. This Thomas was quite a character. John had a drink with him, James and Lafayette at the breakfast bar. Lafayette had another stash in the pantry below, Thomas had already brought along some bottles with him. He ordered John to go out to the balcony, steal some of the Rosé and scotch from out back. Lafayette scarcely tells Thomas not to treat John like his little handmaid. But John does just to be polite.

As John goes out back there, everyone is still laughing the odds, Alex and George were doing some wacky dance. Laughing and joking along. Then Alex spots John picking up the bottles, Alex has a cigarette in his mouth and it's the first time John has ever seen him smoke. Well he knew Alex used to, Lafayette told him. Alex used to do weed and all sorts before he gained his riches apparently. But it felt weird seeing him this loose.

"Baby boy!" Alex belows and the others all cheer when they notice John.

"Jack, oh my god. Where the fuck you been?" Alex slurred.

John knows he's gone red, mentally he was cursing Alex for making him the centre of attention. He knew he hated it. John shoots Alex a filthy look but he keeps a light smile, more or less for show.

"I've been inside Alex" John grits out.

Alex stared at him with some kind of un-impressed look as he's taking another drag and a gulp of wine. John knew he really should be out here socialising but he was already busy inside with Lafayette's friends.

George perks up his thick brows and pulled his face, "Jesus, son, you're drinking Rosé?" John was just about to answer him but Alex jumped in.

Alex puffed out some smoke, he's clearing his throat as he does and snarling at the bottle like it's some kind of morbid infection. Alex scoffed and saying, "Right, who the fuck brought _that_ here? Who's guilty? Own up now! I'm not having that! Who brought that shit to my party?!" George clamps Alex dow on his shoulder as he laughed. "You guys! You weren't supposed to bring children's drinks!"

As they're all laughing along, Sally held up her hand sheepishly. Adrienne clapped her hands and laughed at the top of her lungs. Both Alex and George looked down at her, they shake their heads disapprovingly. "Oh Sal" George sighs.

"It's been there all night! I'm surprised you guys have only just noticed!" Sally laughed and held up a hand defensively. Alex nudges her in the shoulder with his hips and he's swaying. George had to hold up upright.

"It's a fucking outrage!" Alex spits out. He's staggering into George. "Tell her George"

Then Martha tuned in, "Alex, you do realise you're drinking wine yourself?"

Alex is shaking his head, his eyes rolling back and everyone can tell he's almost totally pissed. "Nah, I'm on that good stuff. The better stuff!"

John can't listen to anymore of this and he's just about to go head inside. Then Alex is hopping over everyones legs, he's almost spilling his drink over Aaron's jeans and he's going "Fuck, shit, sorry" while trying to get over to John. As he did, John waits for him and Alex slumps against John, he's cradling his arm and leaning his head dramatically against John's. John looked to everyone sat there with worry on his face. They all laughed and went 'aw' at the sight of Alex, drunk and clingy. What a combination.

"Jack" Alex whined into his ear, John moves his head away but Alex's hot breath is alluring. Not to mention he's smoking too, John tells him off for it and Alex does as he's actually told for once, he puts out the cigarette, stamping it out. "Baby, baby, baby -"

John glanced over at them all, he sees that everyone has gone back to talking, finally, they're being ignored. Alex bites his earlobe, nipping it playfully and kissing his cheek. "Sorry about that, daddy just needed a quick drag. It's been so long... Where you been though? You're missin' out!"

"I've been inside, talking to the two dudes that have just arrived" John tells him. Alex pulled back slightly, he's furrowing his brow and swaying a bit as looks back at John.

"The fuck are they?" Alex asks.

John raises a brow. "Er, some guys named Jefferson and Madison?"

That was it. Alex shouts "Oh hell no!" and a couple of his friends look over to them but they're ignoring Alex. They're that used to his antics, it's second nature now. John snorted at Alex's reaction and he holds Alex upright with his body weight since his hands are full.

"What? What's wrong with them?" John chuckled. "You not like them?"

Alex shook his head and pouts. He nuzzled his face into John's neck, his arms wrapped around his waist and groaned into him. "Right, Alex, hun, I gotta get back inside. Thomas wants his drink."

"Oh, fuck Thomas" Alex mumbled into John's ear. "He's a fucking dick, don't trust him." Then Alex moved in again to peck him. "Aw, you called me 'hun'! I love it when you call daddy names, it's dead sexy."

John sneakily peaks behind the door to find Thomas, James and Lafayette all laughing along there at the bar. Then he turns back to Alex who was still pouting and clinging to him. "Why?"

Alex a snort he says, "It turns me on!"

With a roll of the eyes John goes, "Not that! I meant, why do you hate Thomas?"

Then Alex makes a grunt and said, "Cos I work with him sometimes, baby. I work with him and he's an asshole. Can't stand him. Hate him."

John is looking back at them all inside there. "He seems alright though?" Alex is shaking his head there against his head. He's still clinging and it's starting to be uncomfortable for John.

"Whatever he says, it's lies. All lies" Alex hisses. "Being around him is like being caught up in a toxic cloud - almost like that hair of his" John gasps and scolds Alex.

"What?! He's like a spider, honey. He'll get you, spin you around in his web and chow you down alive." Alex whispered, his breath tickled John's ear. Then Alex drunkenly smirks, he's moving in again and whispering, "If you want to be eaten up, you've already got me!"

Alex's breath makes John's ear tingle, it's itching him and pulls away this time. He'd had enough.

"Right, well, I'll keep that in mind." John says, as he's rubbing at his ear and he's walking back in doors, Alex is whining 'wait for me!' and following him. He's got his arms locked around John's waist again, it's like a game of follow the leader. John walking over and Alex pegging behind him. John just gives Lafayette an irritated look when he spots him and his husband come indoors. Thomas and Madison notice too, they're both turning around on the bar stools and Thomas is the first to just laugh aloud.

"Y'all see this" Thomas practically shouts. James beside him goes back to his phone, texting, once he saw Alex was there he wasn't giving him the time of day it seemed. Alex trudges behind John, scowling at Thomas and John places down the booze. Lafayette takes them and starts to grab out some more glasses from the cupboard.

Alex does let go of John's waist but he's got a steady hold of his arm instead. Even merry as he was, Alex stood there with a glare at Thomas and Lafayette is telling his husband to sit down with them. But the weariness in Lafayette's voice told John, he all but knew Alex wasn't going to do that.

"You just going to stand there, Hamilton?" Thomas asks. Tilting his head to the side as he's taking a sip of his drink. Watching Alex, a gleam in his dark eyes. "The poor kid can't move!"

"It's my house, I'll do what I want." Alex bites back. Then he shoots his eyes to Lafayette. "Did you invite him?"

Lafayette frowned at Alex and put a finger up to his lip since Thomas's head was to the back of him. Quietly hushing him although Alex knew fully well Lafayette invited him, but then again his boss could easily have. Yet Alex was hellbent on just causing a scene and just to get under Thomas's skin, make him feel unwelcome. John was watching the ordeal and it felt awkward. Before a fight could break out, John gestures to the bottles on the counter. "Drinks, there, like you asked for" John tells Thomas.

Thomas clicked his fingers and grinned at him. "Ah yeah, that's right. Such a good little lamb."

"He ain't your lamb, either, he's _my_ lamb." Alex tugged on John's arm tightly, John winced and he's muttering at Alex to stop being a jackass. Thomas cackled, shaking his head at Alex and James looked up from his phone, asking what happened. Thomas rolls his eyes at James and he goes back to settling his gaze on John.

"Mm, that right" Thomas says unbothered. The way he's looking Alex up and down didn't go amidst with John either. But he can feel Alex's fingers dig into him even more, it's starting to hurt.

Then to change things up, Thomas pats the empty bar stool next to him and flickers his eyes at John. "You don't have to sit with him" Alex says moodily. Loud enough for Thomas to hear him too. That's when Lafayette claps his hands together, everyone goes to stare at him and Lafayette is baring his eyes on Alex. John knows he's super pissed.

"Mon cher, I bought a couple more beer crates the other day. Come, I need your help with them." John knew perfectly well Lafayette could manage those by himself, he was jacked and lifted all the heavy stuff when Alex couldn't manage. But it was to get Alex out the room before anything else was said that would make him rip Thomas's head off.

"But Laf there-"

Then Lafayette with an eery smile, lightly says, "Now, Alexander" and Lafayette darts his eyes to John. Alex slumps his shoulders, Thomas is watching in amusement and James is still tapping on his phone. John tells Alex softly to just go, Alex gives John a concerned look as if he didn't want to leave him and John tells him he'll be fine. He had to learn to mingle with new faces.

So Alex reluctantly lets go go him, Alex is not far short sneering at Thomas as he passes him and James. He's brooding as he walks off and Lafayette is walking with him, they go into their bedroom, Lafayette shuts the door behind. John catches Lafayette give him a wink as he does, he knows Lafayette knew he would be fine. Alex was going to have a good grilling for his attitude no doubt.

That leaves John alone with Thomas, well, Thomas and James. In the end John decides to just take a seat next to Thomas there at the bar, Thomas swings the chair around to face him, he's got this mischievous smile. John ignored it, he's grabbing a glass and pouring some wine. He's started to really like it lately, the amount of it Lafayette and Alex had him drinking on the weekends was uncanny sometimes. Thomas watches his wine slip into the glass, he takes a sip of his own and he chuckles darkly to break the tension.

"Well then, John Laurens, was it?" Thomas asks, John figured he already knew his name but it was just something to start a conversation. John knocks back a mouthful, he's looking to Thomas and nodding as he swallows.

Thomas chuckled. "My man, Lafayette, he's told me a fair bit about you. You seem like an interesting little character." He says, John gives him an unsure smile. Thomas was one of those people, had a strong personality. Oozed with confidence, good looks and had everything given to him on a platter in life. John could already tell. He had to be honest though, John felt like this Thomas was a guy with some badassery to him. Even if Alex didn't approve of him much.

"Oh really?" John says, he's dropping his gaze for a second but Thomas gives him a light elbow, causing John to look back to him.

"Yes, indeed he has. I gotta ask, where in the south you from?" Thomas must've noted the little twinge in his pronunciation and sussed out John too, was from somewhere other than New York. He had to grin though, in a way John did like how there was someone else in the same room as him who knew the way of things that he knew. The way they spoke, the slang and how they knew that the south was a complete different world compared to New York.

John's eyebrows perk up as he tells him, "South Carolina, I did recognise your accent earlier. Where're you from?"

Thomas sits up a notch and he's brazenly studying John with that same particularly mischievous stare. "Virginia, born and raised. Here that -" Thomas is nudging his friend James this time, he turns a little on his stool and mutters "for once tonight, get off your phone" before turning back to John. "Our boy, Lafayette got himself a new little pet" Thomas chuckled. John looked to the side for a moment, secretly seething at that and takes a drink of wine. "And he's a southerner, what're the odds. He's even got Hamilton wrapped around his finger too" Thomas snorts, he's adjusting his glasses and crossing his legs.

John side-eyed Thomas and he's placing back down his glass.

"Interesting" James adds. Although Thomas and John both know he couldn't care less. James was too wrapped up with whoever it was he was texting still. So Thomas just rolled his eyes at his friend and turns completely to John.

"I apologise for my friend, he's rude as hell sometimes. But don't mind him, lil bird." Thomas tells him. John's mouth was all skewiff at that name. "So I'm guessing you're a student. You look no older than anything past twenty-five."

John had to laugh. "Yeah, you've got me there. I'm 21 though." Thomas gives him a deep 'hmm' and moves to take some of his drink. He's keeping eye contact with John, places it down, smacking his lips.

"Damn, well, this is different. You're the youngest one they've ever been with." Thomas says, while sporting a smirk. John already knew Alex and Lafayette had history of seeing other people, other sugar babies but for some horrid reason John didn't like hearing it come from Thomas. It felt so unnecessary to bring up, it made John's gut bubble with jealously and John had to wonder -

"How do you know?" John spat out. It sounded too bitchy than he'd intended, still, how did Thomas know. Alex couldn't seem to bare the man's existence for whatever reason, though John knew Thomas's strong personality against Alex's strong one probably didn't clash well at all. Unless it was down to Lafayette spilling the beans about him.

Thomas snickers, "What? You don't know? Oh, deary me. Surely, you're aware of Lafayette and Hamilton's past of involving others in their... weird, marriage, right?"

John narrows his eyes at him. He didn't like how Thomas was speaking about their marriage and the way he said Alexander's name, like it was vermin. John hadn't known this guy long but he was already grasping why Alex couldn't stand him. "Their marriage isn't weird" John tells him firmly, Thomas still has this smug smile on his face and mean gleam in his eyes. "Sure, dude, it's different but you say it like it's a bad thing. Also, yeah, I know about their other partners. Does it matter?"

Thomas leans forward there at the bar, he pulls himself closer to John and John can smell that musky cologne he's wearing. It's spicy, John senses a mixture of ginger and sandalwood. Thomas is alluring, such a pretty man but it was a shame he had this underlying meanness to him.

"No need to be so defensive, I wasn't implying that it was a 'bad thing'." Thomas holds a hand up to him. John frowns. "But surely now, do you _really_ expect your relations to be ongoing with them?" Thomas asked.

"Why do you care?" Was all John could say.

It wasn't even any of Thomas's business, the man was nosey. Thomas didn't seem to be bothered. He shrugs. "I'm just stating the obvious, it's a bizarre set up. Hamilton is a true tom cat, Laurens. He's been around the block with half of the company. He makes out he's nicey-nice, uses that charm, a bit of sweet talk here and there." Thomas spills, his cocky grin is starting to piss John off and with that he's telling John, it hurts. John knew Thomas was right. "Let me guess, he did the exact same to you. Didn't he? Want my advice, get the cash and flee."

John's eye twitched and he scoffed. He couldn't get over what he was hearing. "Seriously, what is your problem with Alex? He's a good person. He treats me well, both him and Lafayette do. Look if this is some kind of agenda against him then..." John turned his head from Thomas, scowling and stared down at his glass.

"You should take Thomas's advice, kid." James chimed. For once he's actually giving them both his attention since entering the penthouse that evening. John looked to him and James had the most blank faced expression, his dark eyes serious. "I know, Lafayette is a good friend of Thomas's but as for Hamilton, he's not to be trusted. We used to have that intern, what was that guy's name -"

Thomas rudely butts in "Sam"

"That's right, Sam. I can't remember his last name for the life of me, however, he got involved with Hamilton." James adds. "It didn't turn out well, at all. They had a big bust up."

John cocks his head to the side as he listens intently. Thomas slaps his thigh, John winces from it and Thomas turned back to him. "Oh, god, I remember that. Holy hell, what a ruckus."

He hadn't known James and Thomas for that long but John itched for more information. Thinking of Alex involved with someone else, it didn't settle well with him. Lafayette was his husband but also John's in some weird, shape, way or form. They both doted on him, cared for him and John speculated it may even be more. But he needed to know about their history with others.

"What happened with this guy?" John quietly asks. Thomas bites his lip, considering on telling him, James however just does it for him instead.

"Hamilton has a bit of a temper" James informs him. John already knew that though. "When things weren't going well between them in the office, it resulted in various rumours. Sam claimed that Hamilton was aggressive, abusive and had sexually harassed him. Almost cost him his job, didn't it?" James slides his eyes to Thomas. Thomas's smirk immediately vanished when he saw John looking to him.

"Came in with a black eye he did, poor kid" James threw in.

"Mm, Hamilton nearly had that name of his ruined. Washington, there, the bald guy out back. Saved his ass, as usual." Thomas sighs, his leg bobbing up and down as he speaks. "Hamilton even sent a fucking email around the department claiming his innocence! I don't know how he didn't get fired for doing that." Thomas spits.

"Washington" James says again.

"Exactly, he's always covering up for Hamilton. Always." Thomas barks. John gives them both a nod and he tunes out their voices for a moment while they spoke among themselves, both bitching about Alex and this so-called Sam. John didn't want to believe any of it. Alex wasn't abusive at all, he got rowdy sometimes but he wasn't a violent person and he always asked John whether it was okay to do something when they had sex. Alex was so attentive, so caring and loving. If Alex acted in such a way, Lafayette would've stepped in - or he wouldn't even be with Alex.

"Imagine though, all that money Hamilton wasted too, he even got that kid a real fucking ring." Thomas added snappily. "Diamonds on it, the whole lot. I mean what was he thinking? He beat the kid's ass and then thought a ring would make up for that shit. Pfft. Please."

John's eyes went wide. He had a ring too and he even had it on. John curled up his fingers and hoped his sleeve could hide it. "He's so desperate"

He couldn't hear anymore of this. So John stands up, he's excusing himself and decides to go for a walk. Whenever things got too much for him, he just needed fresh air. Thomas waves him off, almost as if he were giving John permission to leave and John bolts for the front door, he's grabbing his jacket and racing outside.

John went down to that small park at the bottom of the road where him and Lafayette sat during New Years eve. He's hitched himself up on the wall, head in his hands and letting out a wheeze. Then he lifted his head up, staring off at the evening sky, it was getting lighter now at night. The sky a pretty mixture of baby blue and cotton candy pink with that tint of milky yellow in-between.

"He isn't like that" John whispers to himself. "Alex wouldn't do that"

Alex would never hurt him. Lafayette wouldn't either. Thomas didn't know anything, he just didn't like Alex. That was the problem but John still wasn't sure. How much about Alex and Lafayette did John actually know. Apart from what part of their cocks were the most sensitive, the basics about their lives or were those lies. John had to think what he was really getting himself into here. He had been so carried away as of late that John never thought about these kind of things.

Alex and Lafayette always kept things nice. They never really spoke about real issues, adult stuff or the true facts about what was going on in their lives around John. A lot of it was kept between them. John never poked his nose that much in their business, he didn't feel the need to. Thomas had literally just told John his entire plan to his face, get the money and go. That was what John still intended to do and if both Thomas, James were saying that. Maybe they were right.

There was no point getting too invested in his dynamic with the pair. Definitely not now knowing of Alex's past with other men. John sat there thinking everything through and other problems he had for another half an hour before going back.

 

* * *

 

When he got back to the penthouse, it was great now that he had a keycard, he swiped himself inside and everyone was in the living room now all sat on the sofa. Well apart from Thomas and James, they were still sat at the breakfast bar drinking, Sally at their side.

Lafayette was sorting something out with their TV and getting up a music channel. Old R&B came on and it was bumping. You had George, Martha there on the sofa giving out some kind of dance. Burr was busy chatting something in James's ear, they roared with laughter. John felt quite isolated when he came back inside there, he's slipping off his jacket on its hook and tries to get himself together.

Before anything though John needs the bathroom. He's passing Thomas and his crew to make way for the ensuite in the bedroom. Thomas shouts for him to come join them, a flirtatious expression as he does, John gives him a shy smile, nervous and he goes for the bedroom door. As he's opening it, letting himself inside, John is making his way for the bathroom and as he's going inside, John is greeted with a very rough looking Alex there on the tiled floor. He's in such a mess.

Alex has his head against the bath and he's got his eyes half-shut. John closes the door behind them and he's gone to Alex's side. "Alex" John calls softly. "You good?"

All Alex can do is give him this big dopey smile. John rolls his eyes, he's still half cut. Pissed out of his mind. John bends for Alex's hand and he's trying to pull this grown man off the floor. Alex is really heavy though despite John being as strong as he is. Alex doesn't budge though. "Baby boy, that you?" Alex giggles.

"Yeah, it's me Alex. C'mon, get up off the floor. Jesus, you're in such a state!" John growls. Alex finally blinks his eyes open, he looks so tired and he's smiling at John and he reaches out his other arm. John groans and he takes that one too, he's trying to pull Alex up. "Alex! C'mon, work with me here!"

Alex chuckled and he's doing his best to get up. He's on his knees now, laughing at John is struggling to get him up. "Look at you! Such a good boy, helpin' daddy!"

John looked to the ceiling in frustration.

"Sorry honey, I felt kinda sick, had to puke - well I thought I did, but I couldn't and I fell asleep I think." Alex yawns, he's getting up to his feet this time and John helps support him. Alex is that bit taller so it's funny how he's positioned himself against John. He's like a big cuddly child, all clingy and sweet. John guides Alex into the bedroom and he's propping Alex on the bed. Alex playfully bounces on it with a "whoop!" and he's dragging John on it with him.

"Alex!" He cried.

Alex sprawls out for a moment, relishing in the comfort of the silky bedsheets before swaying and getting up on his knees. John's there crossed-legged facing him, he's got hold of Alex's wrists and steadying him. Alex's hair must've come out at some point, it was all messy, he stunk of booze and cigarettes badly.

John took in the sight of him and he shakes his head. "You look a mess" He tells him.

Then Alex perches closer to John and as he does John could swear Alex's eyes were red. John narrows his own, his brow furrowed and he says, "Alex, have you been crying?" At this question, Alex snorts and shakes his head. He's closing his eyes again and opening them slowly, he's swaying still and looked like he was trying to keep consciousness.

"You have, haven't you" John states the obvious. Alex's mouth goes to the side and he shrugs. John tilts his head, sighs again. "Why were you crying?"

Alex never cries. John had never seen him do it once, so it felt weird to be on the other end of the spectrum for once and being the once to calm Alex down. Since it was always Alex supporting and listening to his problems when he was upset.

But Alex shrugs again and looks away. "Alex, tell me. You can tell me." Johns says softly and he's gripping Alex's wrist that bit tighter. "Look just because I'm younger, it doesn't mean I can't help. I'm still your boyfriend, you can tell me any-"

"Oh, just leave it. Jack, shut up." Alex totally bit his head off. John's eyes were like saucers.

Usually John would back off and leave Alex to be whatever mood he was in. But he doesn't, his grip on Alex remains and he hisses back, "No, I won't. What's going on? I come in, you're there in a total fucking mess and everyone else is having a good time out there."

"That's the problem" Alex says snippily. "Everyone else, the company, I don't want it."

John actually snorts in Alex's face and that seems to just irritate Alex further. "You don't want it? That's a first."

Alex slumps on his side off his knees and he's struggling to get comfortable there in his jeans strangling him. "It's Laf" Alex states quietly. "Since you're so hellbent on knowing. My husband, inviting that _dickhead_ and his set of balls to our party. They shouldn't even be here."

"By 'dickhead' and 'set of balls' you mean Jefferson and Madison?" John asks and he lets go of Alex's wrists.

"Yeah, me and Laf had an argument." Alex rasps. "We never fight! Well, we do, but not actually fight. If you get what I mean." John nods along, he got it.

"Thing is, Laf knows we don't get along. Yet he invites him, he knows Jefferson tries everything to stir the pot. It just pisses me off!" Alex shouts as he throws his arms up and punches the bed. John places a hand on Alex's thigh and gives it a rub. "I really fucking hate him. Baby, I do. He ostracises everything I do, I say, my ideas and work. I wish Washington would just kick his ass out. But he won't -" And then Alex puts on an impersonation of his boss "Jefferson is valuable - apparently."

" -Yeah, Valuable as a piece of shit!" 

John tries not to laugh. He's rubbing at Alex some more to calm him. 

"Alex, just because he's here, it doesn't mean you have to even give him the time of day." Then John moves in and wraps his arms around Alex. He's nuzzling into Alex's hair and neck. Alex looked sleepy, rough and worn out. "Do you want me to put you to bed?"

Alex nods. So John takes charge, he's getting up to go close the door shut. He's helping Alex out of his shirt and jeans, there was some fondling in-between, light kisses but nothing heavy. John didn't want to risk Alex throwing up on him. As he's putting Alex's jeans to the side, Alex is lay there on the bed just watching John fuss around the room. He's smiling softly, eyes still red but they're much more perkier.

"It's nice" Alex says gently. John looks over to him, he's just come back in from the ensuite with a glass of water and places it on Alex's nightstand. "You, being all cute for me."

John grins. "Well, you always look after me. Now, it's my turn."

Alex didn't bother getting into his loungewear and remained in his briefs. John opened up the bed sheets for him to crawl under and he's throwing the sheet over Alex. Then as he does, Alex pats the spot next to him and John takes the hint, so he sits down. "Daddy" John murmurs, he's propping a hand on Alex's hair, draping his finger through Alex's long fine locks. "Everything okay?"

Although Alex didn't say anything at first, he shifted on his stomach and moaned lightly at the way John was fingering his hair. "I hate fighting with Laf" Alex mumbled. "You know, we've only ever had two big blows in our entire relationship." John continues to soothe his scalp, he just listens and keeps his eyes on Alex.

"The first time was when we were just out of college, we were cool with dating outside our relationship then too. He was going out with some girl, she got pregnant and lost the kid. Laf was cold for months with me, it affected us so fucking badly." Alex confesses. "I actually thought it was the end of us. I really did." 

"No, Alex. That won't happen." John states.

When he thought about it, John remembers Lafayette telling him about the whole miscarriage subject at Christmas. "I know secretly, right, he wants kids. Laf would make a fucking _amazing_ father." John's heart strings pulled at the way Alex's voice croaked, he'd never seen Alex's fragility before. It felt weird in a sense but at the end of the day, Alex was only human. Alex puts a hand on John's thigh there, his finger moving in a circle and his eyes watch at he's doing that."

"But you don't want them?" John asks.

Alex looked up to John there above him. Then he looked away. "Jack, I don't know. I really don't know. It isn't even that, I feel like what happened with that girl, maybe it's scarred him. We don't talk about it much. It's a sore subject, honey. Really cuts a man up inside."

"Oh Alex" John sighs.

"That was the biggest problem that we've ever had to face. Then there was some other shit, that doesn't matter though. But I just hate it when we argue, I feel like - like I could loose him" Alex tells John who's pulling a face in disbelief. "Sometimes I can just... push my fuckin' limits. I say things I don't mean, I've got a big mouth, baby."

"Don't be stupid. Alex, he would never leave you." John said sharply. "You've been together longer than most people I know. He loves you, you donut."

At that Alex splutters and laughs. He has to turn on his front so he can laugh properly, John joins in and shakes his head. "I'm being serious, he does!"

Then Alex's laughter pipes down, he's staring at John, their eyes meet and Alex sits up, he's leaning upwards for John and John moves in. Their lips meet and it's a quick kiss. Another kiss, then another and Alex is seizing John's neck. John flops down on the bed with him and they're lay there kissing among the crumpled sheets.

Alex's thumb is rubbing circles on John's cheek, they're lay side to side facing each other and John is the one to put their heads together. During that moment he didn't mind Alex's stale smoke filled breath, the taste of his many beers. He blocked out everything Thomas and James had told him too, he didn't care if Alex had a past with some guy called Alex and things went to shit. Alex was here, with him now.

He was his and that was all that mattered to John. John giggled at the thought, he was so happy, his laugh and smile sweet. Alex's big weepy brown eyes glistened as John did. They were full of adoration and Alex looked as if he were to start up the water works again, he rubs at his face, John guesses to wipe away any coming tears and make out as if he weren't going to cry. Then he sniffled and wrapped an arm around John's back.

"You're right, I love Laf and I know he loves me. I know that." Alex tells John softly. Then he's chewing his bottom lip, fumbling with it between his teeth. However what he says next has John's heart skipping a beat or two. "But I don't think... it's just him, that I have feelings for this deeply anymore."

John fell incredibly still. His body was like a statue. It took him a moment to regain any will to open his mouth and in a serious voice asks, "What do you mean, Alex?"

Alex just smiled.

"I think I may be falling for you, Jack. Pretty hard." John's world stood still.

 

Alex confessed to him, it happened.

 

He couldn't feel his toes, his hands, his body, it felt entirely numb and his heart was in his ears. It was Alex who raked his hand in John's hair next and he closed his eyes. John didn't know what to say. He's never told anybody he loved them before beside his family. Not his ex, not the guy he used to fool around with during summer or previous high school boyfriends or even the ones he had online years ago, that lived half way across the country and only spoke to on blurred webcam.

On a daily basis John thought about Alex, his hair, his laugh, his jokes, his wit and dark eyes. Lafayette often got caught up in his mind too. They both made his heart flutter. John always thought about spending every day with them if he could. He already nearly did but if he could be with them all the time. John would be happy. So happy.

 

But he couldn't.

 

He really couldn't.

 

John didn't deserve them.

 

In response to Alex's confession, John wraps his arms around Alex and squeezes the life out of him. Rocking them both. John can't tell Alex how he really feels, he wants to, he just can't though and especially not when he was in this state.

Alex did seem to be more sober than he was earlier, before he left for his walk though. John guessed Alex just wasn't up for going back out there, not in this emotional heap that he was in. "Try and get some sleep" John said. He presses a kiss on Alex's forehead.

When he withdrew, Alex had that look in his eyes again. It was pure, powerful. The look of love.

John's breath hitched. As it did, Alex whispers "stay" to John. He knows exactly what Alex meant. In the end Alex drifts off to sleep and he's lightly snoring. John slips off of him leaving Alex to sleep off the drink. He tucks Alex in, he's snug and warm. John switches off the light and quietly closes the door on the way back out from the bedroom.

 

* * *

 

 

John doubts the noise will bother Alex, he's probably flat out by now. John passes the kitchen, Lafayette is with Thomas, James and Burr they're all bellowing in tucks of giggles over something. George is with Martha and Sally having a dance in the living room. Sally is on the sofa twerking with Adrienne, their black short slip dresses they're got on not really cover jack shit. John sees and he wants to barf. Women.

As John enters the kitchen he's going into the smaller fridge, grabbing out a Sam Adams and cracking it open, thank god there was plenty of bottle openers around. John was certain Alex and Lafayette had dozens knocking around the penthouse. As John tossed its little cap in the trash, Lafayette swarmed an arm around him, pulling him close and to the side for a moment away from the others at the bar.

"Cheri!" Lafayette cries and he's pecking John on the cheek. "You have been gone for a long time! I went to find you, you are okay, non?" Lafayette sounded like he may have had a bit to drink too. But it took him a while to get completely legless. Lafayette held his liquor fairly well compared to Alex. It was always cute when Lafayette drank, he was a happy, smiley drunk.

"Yeah, I'm pretty good." John tells him and he's on his tippy toes, popping a kiss to Lafayette's mouth and standing back down again.

Lafayette chuckles and he immediately gives a 'woo!' and "ayy!" loudly with everyone else in the room when the song "This is how we do it", an absolute old tune comes on. One even John recognises, 90s, proper old school and the atmosphere is chilled. He had to laugh how everyone remotely changed the lyrics "West side" to "East side" though.

It was all good, John smiled along and he wished, deep down, Alex was there with them all too. Rather than stuck in bed, teary, lovesick and drunk.

Then everyone is getting up to dance he notices, Thomas and James have even got up too. Burr was already running in the middle of the living room with George, Sally and Martha going at it like they were fresh out of college. John feels Lafayette take his hand, he's guiding John out the kitchen and as he does, John asks, "Laf, what're you doing?"

"Come! Cheri, dance with me!"

John was a shit dancer, he didn't know how to dance. "I don't know how!"

"It is fine! I will be with you!" Lafayette purrs and he winks at John for the second time that night. John's cheek fluster.

Beer in hand and all, John tried to copy whatever everyone else was doing. Thomas and James were doing whatever moves it was that they knew, both pissing themselves in laughter and did some weird handshake. Thomas obnoxiously laughing, bashing into poor Sally, knocking her on her ass on the sofa and her drink spilling over her dress. She cast him such a glare but she was so drunk, everything she shouted at him came out slurred and it couldn't be heard over the music anyway.

George and Martha with Burr just getting it down. Adrienne was with Burr, he really knew his moves, he was a great dancer for a guy in his early forties. Lafayette however was just sensual, him facing John there and working him with his waist, winding right into John's and steadying him by his hips. John felt clueless, he looked up at Lafayette helplessly and Lafayette is just biting his lip, shaking his head and he gets John's hips, guides him, John gets what he's supposed to do and copies Lafayette.

In no time John picks up what he's meant to do and Lafayette leans down to his ear, whispering in, "You dance well little Laurens. You are making me want to take those jeans of yours, right, off, you." Hot breath, hot, husky, wedged deep in John's ear and it's sending electricity down his spine. John gives Lafayette a flirty look and so he goes at it, grinding himself on more on Lafayette, their crotches interwinding.

Lafayette's head in the crook of his neck, John can feel him nip it lightly and kiss it. Then Lafayette changes it up when the beat gets up a notch, they're bobbing up and down along with everyone else in the room. Thomas has already jumped on the coffee table with Burr. They're going at it like no tomorrow. Lafayette doesn't even complain, he's barely noticed, since he's too roped in with John and Lafayette raises a hand up in the air as they're jumping. Everyone shouting "This is how we do it!" at the top of their voices.

John can feel Lafayette's hand slip down there on his ass. He's squeezing it shamelessly, John does the same back to him and he sees Lafayette's face etch in surprise. Then when "Bump N Grind" came on, well that was it, Lafayette and John were the only ones in the room to dance the way they were. Just hips, bodies eloping together and John even had the courage to scarf his arms around Lafayette's neck, looking up at Lafayette with the most mushiest smile.

He felt so content tonight.

On the other hand, George and Martha were dancing against each other, George mouthing the lyrics to Martha and her laughing, swatting his chest. Sally trying to get Burr to dance with her on the sofa half wrecked. Thomas and James just going at their own slow pace. James grabbing back out his phone and Adrienne tries to get him to grind with her.

For the first time John got to dance, he never had the chance before. Not with someone he liked, someone he cared for. Even if it was to cheesy old tunes. Alex was right, old music really was awesome. As they swayed to the chorus, Lafayette purrs in, "Tonight, cheri, I would like to take you. Tu m'excites."

As this John nods, he wanted to. God, yes. He sighed dreamily. He looked to Lafayette and nodded again as he smiled. Then John moved to his ear, he had to guide Lafayette's head down that bit lower, "I'd like that Lafayette" Then John thinks quickly, he had been doing a bit of research as of late. "Baise-moi à mort" He slips in. Lafayette is left nearly breathless, he even gasps and looks at John with his mouth open. Then he just laughs and licks his lips.

"John Laurens!" Lafayette chuckles aloud.

John pulls him back down forcefully and whispers again in his ear, "I've been doing my homework, papa." And he pulls away from Lafayette, a flirty look in John's eyes and Lafayette brings him back closer, they've gone back to grinding. John feels himself harden, Lafayette feels hard too. God, it's frustrating. John wished everyone would just go now, so he could grab Lafayette by the collar and have him, fuck him good there on the sofa.

There was a few more tunes and dancing until everyone lost interest. The music went down, leaving Sally passed out on the sofa, George and Martha were now at the bar for one last drink, Martha laughing the odds with Burr. It was that time of the night where everyone was due to bail soon.

Lafayette had left John for the meantime to go out on the balcony for a smoke with James. That left John alone with Thomas, they were hanging on the other side of the sofa. Thomas checking his phone as he was slumped down, John swigging at his bottle and leaning over to something Thomas was showing him. Thomas and John spoke about random stuff, work, college, their interests. Thomas seemed more chilled out now that he'd had a bit to drink, he didn't seem as venomous as he did earlier, he even made John laugh here and there.

Although it didn't last long until John felt Thomas's hand on his thigh. John moved his leg so it shrugged off but Thomas went back to grasping it. As he was checking his phone, John noticed Thomas's hand move up further to his groin. That was when John had to say something.

"Uh, Thomas, do you mind, dude" John says, an awkward laugh as he does. He tries moving it again but as he does, Thomas just grips it tighter.

He looks up from his phone, smirking. John sighs and shoves his hand away. "Stop man"

Then Thomas scoffed, actually scoffed at him and he moves in to John, closely. John's moving back with wide, worried eyes. He almost falls off the sofa as he does and Thomas just replaces his hand. "Oh stop playing the prude" He hisses. "You've been playing hard to get all night."

John gives him a puzzled look. "What? No! No I haven't!"

So Thomas takes his hand off of John and he's tapping away on his screen. "What's your number Laurens?"

"Are you for real? You grope me and now you're asking for my _number?_ Get real." John snaps as he squints his eyes. Thomas pulls an offending look and balls his eyes at John. That just annoys John even more, so he stops being nice and hisses, "You know what, here's one better, get fucked."

And as John bolts up, Thomas trips him up and John goes staggering, he's almost falling over but catches his balance. He's giving a 'tch' at Thomas giggling there on the sofa and does his best to ignore Thomas muttering "Whatever. Like I'd touch sloppy seconds anyway."

John stands still for a second, he glances at Thomas and he's so tempted to punch him right in the face.

"Hamilton's playing you good, ain't he? Ha"

He stiffens, John tells himself to let it go and composes himself before moving on. Thomas jeers "Did I hit a nerve? Off you go, little skank" and cruelly laughs.

As he storms off away from Thomas, John is seething with rage. If it wasn't for him being Lafayette's friend, John would've attacked him, right there. He didn't care how much bigger Thomas was than him. John could be pretty damn tough when he wanted to be.

He'd already punched Henry Laurens good around the face, hey and even knocked Charles Lee unconscious before today too. Thomas would be no different.

Now John understood why Alex hated him. John hated him too.

He's glad when everyone leaves. Although the rest are alright besides Thomas that was. Lafayette called Sally a cab, Adrienne, Martha and George offered to ride with her, drop her home. Burr is cabbing it with Thomas and James. Lafayette is giving Thomas a side-hug as he's leaving out the door and Thomas had the audacity to shout "Later Laurens! It was a pleasure!" and John scowls at him.

John was so happy Lafayette's back was turned to him because as Thomas shouted that, John raises up both of his middle fingers, a big "fuck you" and Thomas's face was a picture. He snubs John and he's out the door. John smiled to himself once he's gone. Lafayette had gone out with them all, John guessed he was dropping them all in their cabs. Lafayette was always like that. Looking after everyone when they arrived and went home, ever the gentlemen.

The place wasn't too messy but there was tons of washing up to do. Glasses and empty bottles all over the place. John started to collected the glasses, alcohol still sat in them, mouth-marks on the rims of them and he was careful not to grab that part. Cringing at he almost did on Thomas's. He's throwing any bottles he sees in the trash and takes the trays of nibbles, puts them in the fridge to keep fresh.

The vacuuming, polish and dusting could happen tomorrow. John was so sleepy now. He's there sat on the sofa, bottle of his Sam Adams in his hand, there is a bit left and John just downs the rest. As he does, he thinks over everything had happened. Thomas, Alex, meeting Alex's boss George. So much had happened. Confessions, Thomas being a complete slime bag and showing his true colours. Meeting new people. It was all so exhausting. John leans back here, the TV is still on and he grabs the remote, it'd been put under the sofa away from getting stood on. He switches the TV off and it's silent. 

There's the usual odd sirens outside, traffic from afar in the city and John could hear Alex's snoring from the living room. That's how loud it was. Alex was always louder after drinking. 

John sighs contently. "What a night" He said to himself. 

A little while later Lafayette comes back and he looks to John who's sat there over on the sofa. Lafayette lets out a loud sigh and John giggles. He switches off the light, the entire living room is in darkness and he's trudging over to him. John moves his feet when Lafayette sits down. 

"They're all gone now?" John asks. 

Lafayette is wrapping his arms around him. Drops his head on John's shoulder. "Yes, cheri. I am so glad."

John laughs aloud. "Laf!" He's surprised, Lafayette is always the nice one. 

"It is tiring! I am so tired, I thought they would leave earlier. But it was good fun. Did you have fun too?" Lafayette asks gently. John giggles again softly, he's rubbing his hand against Lafayette's nape and nods. 

"It's been a long night" Lafayette mutters. 

"It has" John said in agreement. 

After a pause of silence. Lafayette asks, "How was Alexander? I saw you go into our bedroom. He became angry with me. I tried to tell him, be civil with Thomas." John's eyes light up with fire at that name.

"But Alexander cannot get along with him. Thomas is a difficult man, he is not easy to get along with." John doesn't bring up the fact that Alex was crying earlier. It would only worry Lafayette and right now, it was late and John didn't want to make the man more restless than he already was. 

"Then why do you, Laf?" John asks, Lafayette was so lovely and Thomas was just awful. Plain awful. 

Lafayette sighs. "I met him through Alexander, we have connections, Thomas is good friends to mine in France. He is an interesting man but I advice you, cheri. Do not get close with him. He has a bad habit of starting drama." John already knew. It was too late. 

"It's cool." John says, at this very moment, John couldn't care less about Thomas. He wanted what Lafayette promised him earlier, his hot breath and thick hard cock drove him mental. Just thinking about it now was sending John into another frenzy.

So then he pulls away from Lafayette. He's pushing Lafayette down, Lafayette was a built man and even he is surprised. He lets out an 'oof!' as John does this. John is straddling his lap. It's dark but he can still see his silhouette. "Let's forget about Thomas. Papa, you _promised_ me."

Lafayette darkly chuckled. John can feel his thick hand slide down his sides.  "That I did, mon petit. That I did." 

With a steamy kiss to Lafayette's lips, John sits back up again and he's fumbling with Lafayette's belt. Unbuckling it, sliding it off and dropping it on the rug. The poor white rug that was in desperate need for a good dry clean now. Then John is doing the same to his own belt too, discarding it and Lafayette's fly went down after that. 

"Mm, you truly are gorgeous" Lafayette whispers, his hands going up and down John's sides. "So, what are you going to do, hm?" Lafayette asks cheekily. 

Then John's fly went down. 

"I'm going to show you, exactly, how I do it." 

It was going to be a very long night indeed. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The French: 
> 
> * Tu m'excites = You make me excited!
> 
> * Baise-moi à mort = Fuck me hard! 
> 
>  
> 
> OH BOY AND ANOTHER ONE IS DISHED OUT! 
> 
> For those who have never heard R Kelly's "Bump N Grind" and Montell Jordan's "This Is How We Do It" then you need to. Get them playing when you've finished this chapter (I had them on for the mood!). You're missing out - those are 90s party classics guys! <3 
> 
> And our beautiful boy John is starting to get in the mood, he's getting there, kinda. Sorta. Give it time. 
> 
> Thomas unfortunately made an appearance! He's such a shit stirrer. 
> 
> But I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for the lovely kudos and comments! I appreciate them so much! They keep me going guys <3 x


	14. CONFESSIONS

Summer flew by quickly.

 

Very quickly.

 

John hadn't heard from any of the Schuyler sisters. John realised that Peggy had blocked him on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and even down to the Tumblr he never used anymore. Angelica had too, Eliza hadn't though. Sometimes she did message him asking how he was but that was every so often.

His shifts at Lava Java went back to being less hectic, although John had been called in when the days had been scorching hot. The summer menu with all the ice fraps and cold coffees took some training, John eventually learnt everything he needed to know. Which blend went in where, what syrup want on top of the whipped cream and what cup he had to use with a specific design.

Alex did come back to keep tabs on him in there as promised. John even managed to get Alex to try one of the summer cold coffees and to Alex's surprise, well, everyone's surprise, he liked it.

Just without all the whipped cream though, he scooped half of it in the trash, Alex laughed as he did, John's expression was deathly. It took him forever to get the cream, sprinkles and sauce correctly too. Lafayette even paid a visit with him and they sat around, waiting for John's shift to end before hurrying off and grabbing some dinner together.

John had practically moved in with both of them, half of his clothes were around their place, he kept his laptop there plugged in on their dining table, John usually went to Whole Foods for them both when they were busy with work.

Lafayette usually text John when he was at work and held up with tons of meetings, asking if he could pick up some stuff they needed. John didn't mind at all and usually treated them both to things they didn't ask for. A family pack of Doritos and everything Alex like to gorge on there in his office by himself. Lafayette a pack of cans.

Before John knew it he was running the entire household. Well not just him since Alex was home more often than Lafayette though. Laundry, washing up, vacuuming and generally sorting out whatever needed doing around the penthouse.

John still had his dorm but he only ever went back there to pick things up or sit in there when Alex wouldn't stop pestering him, so he could get on with his college work. John always tried to cram in extra projects when he could. It all counted.

September arrived and it came with a fresh start. Classes were starting back up again, the campus was bustling with some new faces and old faces, leaves were turning to orange and pretty yellows. The sky was darkening earlier come four in the afternoon and pumpkin spiced everything was out.

Things progressed as they usually did between them. Alex and Lafayette bit back their tongues, John not even realising that they were all technically an item at this point. John looked past it that he was theirs, their boyfriend. From the sickly sweet gazes Alex would cast John, when he was talking about something to Lafayette on the sofa when they would watch movies.

To Lafayette whispering sweet nothings in French to John that he couldn't understand, John complaining about it and not even knowing that Lafayette was saying "I adore you, so much, you and Alexander mean the world to me" when they got intimate. John missed all these signals, all the stupid things and they were waiting for John to figure it out himself. It wasn't easy but Alex and Lafayette wanted John to tell them properly, rather than force it out of him.

John just needed to catch up.

Then when October came, Lafayette suggested he take John out. Properly. He hadn't had the chance with Alex always lingering around. Lafayette didn't have work the next day either for once and he wanted to spend it with John, just John.

Lafayette booked them both a meal and table at one of the poshest, classiest and probably, no doubt, extortionate places in New York. Lafayette didn't tell John where it was, what the place was or anything. Not even the types of food it sold.

He asked for John to meet him at the penthouse and so John did, he dressed himself up nicely. It wasn't often Alex or Lafayette had the pleasure of seeing John in a nice jacket with a white fitted shirt, smart dark jeans and decent polished shoes. John had a go at doing his hair differently too for a change, his hair was up in a tousled loose bun. It took him a while to figure out what the hell he wanted to do with it, so he decided to do this.

Pinterest did come in handy for outfit ideas.

So when he finally arrived there at the penthouse, Alex had to do a double take at him there as he was sat over on the sofa typing up on his laptop. His eyes pinned on John hungrily and he even wolf whistled. John stood in the middle of the doorway half-blushing and half-laughing. Alex could really over do it sometimes but still he loved the attention off his daddy.

"Jesus christ, look at you! All dressed up." Alex cries as he's placing his laptop aside, he's getting up and strolling over to him. "Oh my god - baby boy, you look gorgeous!" He cooed.

John opens his arms for Alex as he goes towards him and Alex clings to him. His arms curled around John's waist, pulling him in and sneaking a kiss on John's cheek then on his lips. The kiss was heated, lingering and John chuckled into it when he felt Alex's hands on his sides, creeping downwards to his ass.

As they broke away, Alex went back in for a cheeky nip on his lip and John chuckled as he did. "Daddy, I'm not your date tonight. These lips are reserved for Papa." John tells him cheekily. He's gazing into Alex's eyes and he can tell Alex is miffed that this is only between, him and Lafayette tonight.

Alex nuzzles his neck with his head and he's making whiny noises. "Unfair!"

"How is it unfair?!" John laughed. He's ruffling Alex's scalp, his fine dark locks threading through his fingers. Alex looked up to him with a pout of his own. John rolled his eyes at him. "We've been on so many dates together! I've not had one yet with just Laf and myself - alone." Alex rolls his eyes at the last of his words.

"Fine" Alex grumbled and he pulls off John slowly. He's biting his lip and pokes John square on the end of his nose. "But I swear, the next one. Just me and you." And he's leaning to John's ear, huskily whispering in, "I want to fuck you senseless again, our first time was amazing." John smirks. "Need that ass, I do honey." With that Alex gives John a singular slap on his backside, it has John squeaking in surprise and he swats Alex on his shoulder.

"So greedy" John giggled. "You really are"

Alex shrugged carelessly. At that moment they heard Lafayette come through, he was on the phone talking in french. John stared wide eyed at him. Lafayette looked stunning, his hair up in its usual perfect curly pony puff. He was in a lovely fitted white shirt, few of the top buttons undone giving John that view of his narrow collar bones.

He had this lovely brown belt on, shirt tucked in and these nice narrow black pants with some dressy black shoes. Alex snorted at how his husband was carrying his long camel coat over his shoulder like that, as if he were some celebrity prancing around the living room on his phone. Lafayette hadn't even noticed the both watching him.

John had a confusion face pulled and he's looking to Alex who stood, hands on his hips, listening to every word Lafayette was saying. Alex turns to John and says, "Looks like Laf's back in France again next week" then rolled his eyes.

John hated this when he couldn't understand them.

Although, John hadn't told either of them both but he had downloaded a French language app on his phone and he had been taking classes online when he could find the time. He would never master it, not like these two but he could try to learn a good amount. Just enough to understand and what better way than to have a boyfriend who spoke french.

 

 

 

Boyfriend.

 

 

 

Well, that was to be discussed.

 

 

 

But John wasn't sure if Lafayette was his boyfriend. Alex was, but Lafayette and him were still all over the place. They had never spoken about it. Perhaps, tonight, they might.

But deep down John knew he really shouldn't egg them on. He remembered Lafayette asking if he wanted to partner up with him and Alex. The three of them actually trying to make a relationship work. John thought about how October wasn't long away, the month after, he would've known Alex and Lafayette a year.

And by god, how it has all gone so fast.

John knew soon he would have to make a break from them both, before it was too late and something happened where he got hurt. Where they would find another, younger, more attractive guy or girl to lust over. But he didn't know when the best time to let them down would be.

Lafayette gets off the phone and that was when he noticed the pair of them. Immediately Lafayette grinned at the sight of John and John lightly beamed back.

"Ah, mon cherie" Lafayette says, he's sizing John up.

Even the scrutiny of Lafayette's blazing stare was enough to make John want to rip his clothes off. There and then. Forget the date, that could wait.

Alex looked between John and Lafayette, he's snickering at the pair of them who look like star-crossed teenagers. "The faces on you both" Alex chuckled. "Good god, fuck."

Then John gives Alex a small nudge before going over to Lafayette. "You look amazing, Laf. Are you ready?" John asked.

"I am, indeed, I am." Lafayette is just sorting out the cuffs on his shirt sleeve, John watches as he struggles and snorts.

He reaches out to give Lafayette a hand with those. Even the gold buttons looked as if they cost an arm and a leg. Alex came over to them, hands on his hips as he's watching them.

"You would think he's taking you to a grand ball," Alex said jokingly to John.

John hummed at that and he's placing his gaze on Lafayette intently. He really couldn't wait to see where they were going. "Mm, I'd expect that off our prince Lancelot" John sarcastically said.

Alex splutters out laughing and Lafayette's eyes were widened, evidently intrigued by his new nickname, smirking away as he's there trying to get the last button through its hole.

"Prince Lancelot!" Alex wheezes, he's clutching his belly. "I love it"

Lafayette is shaking his head. "The pair of you, honestly" And with that, Lafayette has his cuffs done and he's giving them both his attention again.

"Well you kind of are" John shrugged. He really wasn't lying, the last thing John had thought when he bounded for New York in a fit of tears, running with his suitcase and catching a plane, was that he would end up with a sugar daddy and not far short, a French prince. It was crazy.

Alex rests his chin on one of John's shoulders, he has to duck down since he's a tad taller. He's smirking at his husband before nearing his lips to John's ear, "That right now?" Alex says. "Got your prince, all that you're missing now is your stallion to ride on this evening -"

"Alexander" Lafayette cuts in sharply, Alex pouts at him. "This date is for myself and little John, you have had many with him already. Stop being greedy."

Well John snickered into laughter, Alex nipped John's ear lobe and while John did yelp, he also laughed even more.

"Fine, fine. Well, brace yourself, Laf's taking you to Disney world!" Alex slipped out sarcastically as he's pulling away from John.

Immediately John's eyes lit up with stars in them, not really catching on to Alex's joking tone since he really thought he was going to fucking Disney world and then he's whipping his head to Lafayette. "We're off to Disney World?!"

However Lafayette is stammering out with, "Alexander! Don't tell lies!"

"We're not going?" John actually thought Alex was being serious too. Alex is just there smirking meanly at them. Lafayette gives Alex a small swat on his lower back, he scolds Alex in French and he's grabbing John's hand, dragging him along to the front door.

"Take no notice of Alexander, Mon cherie." Lafayette sighed. "But, no. We are not visiting Disney World tonight."

The look John there had Alex in tucks of laughter.

"Ha!" Alex jeered. 

Alex ends up following them both to the door, devilishly grinning, hands in his pockets, casually strolling. "Well, I'll see you both probably tomorrow." John doesn't miss that naughty tone in Alex's voice and gleam in his eyes.

Lafayette softly tells Alex to hush and he's popping a quick kiss on his lips. John watches at they peck each other goodbye, almost as if Lafayette was off out to work and Alex was his little housewife. When really it was seven in the evening and his husband was taking John out on a date.

"Be good" is the last thing Lafayette said to Alex, he's stepping out the door with a smirk of his own. Alex smirked back and then at John who is looking between them both suspiciously.

"Play nice you two" Alex purred before closing the door behind them.

Then that was it.

Lafayette and John were officially free of Alex.

Out of the elevator they went, past the usual security guard, John gave him a little wave and Lafayette snorted with amusement. John was so cute sometimes. They left the complex together side by side, quietly and headed for the main street where they could grab a cab.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Their date together was nice so far.

John and Lafayette talked about the most random things. Lafayette had come out of his shell a lot since John had stuck around, he was very witty, probably more so than Alex in a sense.

He was very observant and a classic gentleman, a real sweetheart. Turned out Lafayette was doing a lot of good, he finally admitted to John just what his company was called after being so hushed up about it for ages. John understood, he had been an outsider and trust was important. Lafayette trusted him.

John wasn't sure whether he felt more joy or dread since he would be ditching them both soon.

But Lafayette donated a lot of money to various charities, he said how he wanted to help and do some good in the world. He particularly donated a good sum to children, the homeless, hospitals and animals in France. Lafayette stated how he knew the feeling of losing one's parents, he wasn't really an orphan, unlike Alex.

Also John found out Lafayette was home schooled as a child until his late teens. Along with his cousins he was close to so he wasn't alone. Lafayette however admitted that he too had been fairly introverted and shy like John. It was going to New York and meeting Alex that had coaxed him out of himself. John was amused and interested in finding out more about the two of them. How they came about particularly.

During their long walk to wherever they were heading in the city. Lafayette tells John more about France, his upbringing there, the difficulties of being a biracial man in an aristocrat background.

Since some of his older uncles hadn't really approved of Lafayette or treated him different to his white cousins. John spoke about his troubles of the south, how being biracial made him feel and he could understand just how Lafayette felt.

Then Lafayette switches the record, he's telling John all about Alex and how he had been forced by his roommate at the time in college, to go to a student bar and Lafayette did not care much for them. John could relate to Lafayette not liking the swarms of people, the crowds and loudness.

Also there was a fight in this particular bar he was in, it had been getting really bad, glasses being thrown, a full out brawl and one of the guys ended up on the floor.

Lafayette noticed just how bloodied up in the nose this guy was and it turned out to be Alex.

To save Alex getting another pelting, Lafayette had pushed whoever it was away and whizzed Alex, his roommate too, out of that bar. John had to laugh, it didn't surprise him. Alex got himself into crazy situations.

Then Lafayette said how after cleaning Alex up, they clicked when Lafayette had mentioned he was french and they both could speak it. Plus Alex was a year above him in the same college. They ended up dating, falling in love and the rest was history.

John didn't want to be too nosey but he coyly asked who had asked who to marry them first. It turned out Lafayette had been the one to ask, Alex was over the moon and hadn't expected Lafayette to pop the question.

Lafayette even admitted that he had loved Alex from the start. He kind of knew Alex was it for him. John asked how and Lafayette just shrugs. When you know, you know.

Lafayette did go into depth too about the miscarriage situation. John listened carefully to his story, the full story. The girl had been an old friend of Alex's and resented her soon as Lafayette dated her outside of their relationship, it was open even back then. Things were new and they were getting used to seeing people on the side, Lafayette admitted just how difficult it was at the very beginning. Sometimes it had irritated him when Alex was sleeping with other men and it had bothered Alex when Lafayette went off with men or women. They got used to it slowly.

John supposed they were young, it was only normally for jealously to occur. But this woman, Lafayette told him about, she had a lot of issues and Lafayette didn't know how to really be there for her.

Lafayette had said how he was constantly being torn between a jealous Alex and envious girlfriend. Both after his attention and Lafayette truly loved Alex over her. Lafayette sounded so sober and sad talking about this subject, John told him he didn't have to continue, Lafayette did anyway.

So when this girl had lost their baby, Lafayette said to John that he had mixed feeling about being a father. Excitement but also he was terrified. He was only in his early twenties back then and didn't have the right mind to be a parent. He was still in college, still unsure, anxious despite being tall and handsome. When really he was awkward, only put on an act of being confident.

But Alex had apparently stressed how Lafayette was going to chose her over him because of the miscarriage. Lafayette tells John about Alex's clinginess, how he can't handle being alone well, since Alex has had relationships since he was a teenager with other people. Alex was a person who had to be with someone because this fear of abandonment. Lafayette and John could both understand.

Lafayette said how much he regretted being funny and off with Alex for weeks, months even. He didn't show affection, Lafayette had been cold to Alex and avoided spending any time together whatsoever. Lafayette had been hurting.

Until Alex had practically screamed at Lafayette, saying "If you want it to be over, just tell me!". Lafayette couldn't have ever bared to split with Alex, they needed each other and Lafayette knew they were right for each other.

Lafayette told John other things about his life though, mostly just memories. Lafayette worked a lot of long, tedious, hours or he was travelling. But the majority of the time Lafayette wasn't at home and when he was, that was a novelty. But it was always worth it, coming home at the end of the day to find Alex there waiting.

After finding almost everything there probably was to know about Lafayette. John felt compelled to tell him a bit more about himself. Although Lafayette already knew chunks, thanks to Alex's big mouth.

Over dinner though which was on a gorgeous rooftop restaurant, smack bang in the middle of the city center. There were these long bushed plants aligning either end of the deck. White fairy lights in these big balls dancing from above them on the wiring of the clear roof. Thatched wooden flooring underneath them, the tables all in their little rows but with enough space between them so you weren't too enclosed to others. There was even a pool at the other end of the rooftop, glowing in neon colours there in the dark.

John was just glad the music wasn't too loud up here, unlike downstairs where a full out rave was happening. Him and Lafayette could actually hear themselves talk. They got placed just at the front not too far from the railing. It felt more secluded, nice and private.

They got some drinks ordered in, a beer for John and Lafayette just stuck to a glass of white wine. Which surprised John since Lafayette either always had some fruity cocktail or water at the least. Lafayette was quite picky with that he drank. Unlike Alex who downed shorts and anything in order to have a good time.

"This place really is gorgeous," John said half throughway. "I've been in New York a year now and I still haven't seen half of this city."

Which as true, there were just so many places to see and go to. Although John had been to a handful of the sights with Peggy, Angelic and Eliza. But not enough, he thinks. Then the thought of Peggy grating his mind only made John's stomach churn.

He hadn't heard from her in so long, John did often wonder what her and her sisters got up to. John found that he wanted to apologise to her ages ago but he just hadn't found the courage to do so yet. Eventually or maybe never, John didn't know.

Lafayette smacks his lips after his mouthful of wine and he's beaming at John.

"Well, Cherie, you know already, that you can ask myself or Alexander to take you wherever you have been wanting to go." Lafayette tells him. "All you must do, is ask."

John makes a low 'mm' and he goes, "You both work, so much. I mean, Laf you're exhausted a lot of the time and Alex is always busy. I don't want to get in the way."

Then Lafayette places his glass down and he's resting both his crossed arms on the table. "John, we will always make time for you." Lafayette said firmly. His sleek pretty eyes turned serious. John's chewing his lip. "But you _have_ to ask, don't be afraid of ever asking or telling us what you want."

At that John nervously chuckles, he's scratching the nape of his neck at the loose soft curls there on his base. "I know, I know. I just, close up a lot of the time. It's stupid."

Lafayette tilts his head ever so slightly, he's pulling a face of concern. "But, why must you close up?"

As John was about to answer, the laughter of four business men at the back of him caught John off guard for a second. Lafayette rolls his eyes and John snickered himself.

 _"tellement grossier"_ Lafayette mumbled under his breath.

Then John is squinting his eyes, he's twisting his mouth before clicking his fingers and said, "Really annoying? Rude?"

Lafayette is blinking at John cluelessly for a second and he's spluttering out a laugh. "I am sorry, what?!"

"You just said they were rude, right?" John asked, he's grinning back. He see's Lafayette's brow raise upwards and he can't stop smiling at John.

"I see you have been practicing your French, non?" Lafayette smirks.

John bites his bottom lip and he's grabbing his beer, he can't help but feel pleased with himself for learning bits of it. John wanted to try.

"Well I thought it would be nice," John adds and he's taking a sip, then swallowing. Lafayette's gaze never leaves him. "So you know, when you and Alex are bullying me, I can understand what you're both saying."

Well Lafayette just laughs even more and one of the businessmen from the back of John shoots him a glare. Lafayette however, he pays it no mind.

"You are fairly sneaky, aren't you?" Lafayette says. He's still beaming away and runs a hand along his mouth. "My goodness, so this is what you get up to, learning french behind our backs. Such an intriguing little thing."

John sits back for a moment looking that bit smug and pleased with himself. "I just wanted to surprise you both I guess, Alex doesn't know yet."

Lafayette is playfully tapping his fingers on the table, he's still watching John. That same gaze where John felt as if he had been exposed, that skin peeling, chilling stare. It always had him. "I am certain, cherie, Alexander will be thrilled. May I ask, _comment apprends-tu le français?"_

Now John doesn't miss that playful glitter in those eyes. Lafayette testing him like this. John was about to tell him but then he thought of something better. They were on a fucking date after all, not school.

So John is leaning forward, flirtatiously tipping his head a notch, allowing those loose curls on his forehead to cave just one side of his face and he's pouting. Although that trick never seemed to work for Lafayette as it did with Alex, who so easily gave in and dropped his pants without a second glance

Lafayette was trickier.

John bites the corner of his bottom lip for a second, he's hunching up his shoulders ever so and even though it is cringeworthy, John slides his leg on Lafayette's there under the table. Up and down, just like that.

Lafayette's eyes widen at this and John cups one of Lafayette's knees under the table, there isn't any cloth to conceal what was happening. Anyone could see this but luckily everyone else was busy chattering away, laughing and ignoring them both.

Which is great because John rides up his hand right up Lafayette's thigh and he stops just near his groin. Lafayette drops his gaze down for a moment at his hand and then he's looking back at John.

"Perhaps, if I had proper french tutoring, Papa," John said in a younger, smaller voice. He's batting his hazel eyes. "I could learn faster"

Lafayette clasps his hand under the table and he's squeezing it. His eyes still locked with John's and Lafayette quietly says, "That can be arranged"

They order their meals and eat under each others heated gazes, small cheeky smiles thus chatter. Although after they finish, it's a good hour or two before Lafayette is swiping one of his many credit cards, dropping a nice tip, then they're leaving the restaurant.

It's still fairly early though, John says that he feels a bit too bloated, indigestion was probably on the rise and Lafayette suggests a walk to burn off their food. John hadn't meant to eat like a total pig but the little cheese dumpling balls, BBQ steak, sweet potato mash thingy he had was amazing.

That was another thing John noticed too, since being with Lafayette and Alex, John ate more. He hadn't gained weight pre-sae but he had found himself gaining more of an appetite.

Before John ever came to New York he wasn't a big eater and a lot of that was due to losing his mother, a shitty upbringing and sad number of teenage years.

John had been a scrawny scrimp before ever hitting the high school gym and even then, he couldn't stomach much food. Yet these two, Lafayette and Alex soon changed that. Although they had changed a lot of things within John, a lot of his outlooks on life, his attitude towards silly things, politics, people. Politics was one John and Lafayette always tried to avoid because it set Alex off. Neither of them could ever get a word in edgeways.

They cut through a part of central park on their stroll, Lafayette's hand on the back of John's nape, his long fingers soothing the spot. It was almost Halloween and in an area there was already some illuminations out in these light up pumpkins.

They were amazing, ferris wheels, lanterns in the shape of the eiffel tower, that one Lafayette said was his favourite by far and John was laughing when rolling his eyes. Some pumpkins were lit stacked as big ben, the shape of lady liberty.

So many people were snapping up pictures of them too, couples cooing over certain little designs and little kids with their parents screeching about how 'cool' they were. John took some pictures and sent them off to Alex, they couldn't not share these beauties with him. Alex apparently loved Halloween.

Any occasion really for an excuse to either dress up and get drunk off his ass. John already knew the stories about Alex and previous Halloweens from Lafayette. Well, they included him too and they were wild. Washington had the pictures to prove it on his Facebook.

Instantly Alex was replying with 'Those are fucking rad" and added a sequence of hearts, stars and kissy emojis. Combined with a pile of 'xoxo' and another message saying 'Thank you baby boy, Daddy loves those x' just to be extra. Lafayette is hovering over his shoulder, snorting and sighing his husband's name. John put his phone away since it was their date after all and goes back to focusing on Lafayette.

As they're walking and rounding a pond John chooses to take Lafayette's hand. It's dark, not many people can see since it wasn't as packed there compared to near where the pumpkins were.

A few people were around and it doesn't really bother John. Still it's peaceful, the night sky was clear and bright with the dull clouds, a peppering of stars and moon. Perfect combination along with the refreshing gust of autumn wind rushing past them both. John could feel his curls tickle his cheeks and Lafayette's hum of laughter when John is fighting them out his face.

Lafayette stopped them both for a moment, he winds the lone curls at either side of John's face just over his ears and they're off again. John can feel his face heated, it's ridiculous though, really, it is. But every so often John did get shy with them.

Once they're walking again, Lafayette re-takes John's hand and he bounces it a bit playfully. The strength of it as he does almost rips John's arm off, John even says this to him and Lafayette could only laugh joyously.

"Cherie, that reminds me, you never finished what you were saying earlier," Lafayette mentioned. John's turns his head to him. "At the restaurant, I asked you why you often close up your feelings."

Oh that again.

John heaves a small sigh, he buries himself further into his jacket and he's looking on the surface of the glittering pool. An abyss of darkness with jewelled stars glittering on it.

John couldn't tell Lafayette the real truth, the actual fucking truth. The 'Oh, well, you see, I'm going to bail on you both once I get what I want because despite me actually loving you both, I'm too terrified to stick around since I've had my heart broken before. Not to mention, you both go through partners like no tomorrow and you're not tossing my in the trash when you get bored either'. Truth.

But John was going to give Lafayette a bit of something, a snippet. Lafayette crunches his hand softly there, his long slender fingers practically swarming his hand. They're warm, soft and loving, just how John liked them. How he would miss them too.

"I guess, truthfully -" Not the whole truth though. John heaves gently then says, "I'm just worried"

At this Lafayette's brow knitted, his fine features didn't suit frowning. John feels a lump in his throat now and thinks, perhaps he shouldn't have said that.

"Why are you worried?" Lafayette asked.

It seemed so ridiculous, John was, he was terrified of being hurt again. Feeling heartbreak, going through being let down and tossed away, again. Losing someone. Not again.

John bites his lip for a second and he replied with, "Forget I said anything"

But Lafayette doesn't and he's squeezing his hand once again. John figures with the question hanging over him, he didn't want to deal with awkwardness tonight. So he just goes ahead and says, "Okay, well, I worry that you both will get bored of me."

Lafayette's eyes are golf balls and he's shaking his head, a small smile appearing on his lips. "John Laurens" He mumbled. John's dropping his gaze and returning it to the pond. But Lafayette is tugging on him and John went back to meeting Lafayette. "We are not bored of you, we will _not_ get bored of you. Wait, how has this came about exactly?"

John shrugs. Lafayette's shoulders droop too and he's stopping again, causing John to stop. Lafayette is taking John by the cheeks, looking down at him sternly but the softness is still etched on his expression, there in his pretty dark eyes. John can feel himself sway.

"You are feeling insecure?" Lafayette quietly asks.

Of course he was. John was younger than them, unsure, he's never been in a relationship quite like this or one as serious. One where he genuinely felt loved. Cherished. Wanted.

"A little" John squeaked. "You and Alex, you're both used to tons of partners -" Lafayette's snorts a little at that. "I'm not and I don't want to get hurt when this ends."

That had Lafayette's smile weakening and his eyes lost all their flame. Lafayette's thumbs were soothing John's cheeks. "What makes you think this will end?"

"I don't" John rushed in. He couldn't be too obvious now. "Just incase, you know, it could."

Lafayette leans forward slowly and presses a sweet small kiss on John's temple, John closes his eyes as Lafayette does. Then he pulls back. John re-opens them gradually and he's seeing just how slightly torn Lafayette looked.

"It does not matter who was before you, to me or Alexander. We both want you in our lives, you make us happy men, more than happy." Lafayette tells him. "You do not have to be insecure, if I am to be honest with you, I think it is us who should be."

John frowns. "Why?"

"Alexander and I are coming to the end of our youthful days, you are very young. At first when I met you, I did have my own personal concerns regarding your age little petit." Lafayette's thumbs continue to swirl on John's chilled freckled cheeks. "I worried perhaps this relationship, well, arrangement would be too strenuous for you or that you may not take it seriously. Alexander takes it very seriously and as do I."

John could feel his heart sink a little.

Yet Lafayette kept talking. "Money can be bezelled away easily, you can't take it with you when you die." He states, so true and John nodded along. "Money does not matter, not really. But when it comes to matters of the heart, love, John Laurens, is something to take seriously."

As ironic as that sounded coming off a multibillionaire, John got it. Money can be played with, love shouldn't. John knew this, his gaze lowers and he's suddenly feeling even more down. He knows deep down what he's planning to do is so rotten. God, they will hate him so much.

"I understand" John says sullenly.

Lafayette hums quietly and he places his hands on John's shoulders. John wasn't a short young man but he definitely was no where as big as Lafayette. He felt so protected at that moment. His heart a blaze with adoration for Lafayette and dread. His heart didn't know whether to break or fly away with glee.

 

 

"And you also understand, that, myself and Alexander both love you, yes?"

 

 

Wait.

 

 

What.

 

 

John looked up at him with his wide hazel eyes and his mouth gaped. He hadn't expected that. Now John was certain his heart really was going to skip, leap and soar away. His throat closed up, it had a big lump there somewhere too and John kept swallowing, he's trying to capture himself but every time he tries to get words out it hurts. It's like swallowing a thousand needles.

John feels his eyes go glassy too, tears stinging in the corners and he doesn't want to cry. He can't break. So John is looking anywhere but in Lafayette's eyes and even at Lafayette, he looks on at the pond or to the night sky. Lafayette softly chuckled and he's petting John on the head, his fingers lapping in his curls.

"Why are you so surprised? We thought you would already know that we cherish and love you." Lafayette tells him.

In fact John didn't know. He missed all the signs or if he witnessed them John chose to ignore them and now allow his true feelings capture his heart. So they loved him. Dammit.

"I just -" John managed out, his eyes are scattering and his heart is pounding. "I didn't expect that"

Lafayette and John begin to walk again but very slowly this time. "Why not?"

"I don't know" John poorly says. He sounded pathetic. "Maybe because really, our relationship is a sugaring relationship. Lafayette, our dynamic isn't - it isn't a normal one."

But Lafayette shrugged. "That does not matter? Love is still love." John knew he had him there. "Normal or not, we want you. So please, allow yourself to be loved. You deserve to be."

Lafayette had the patience of a saint though. If this was Alex, John knew he would be ramming it down his throat and pecking John's head in until he gave him an answer. They dropped that topic not long after and once they wound back in the city, both of them noticed a giant advertisement on one of the buildings for the new Disney live action movie "Dumbo" and saw one for "Toy Story 4". Lafayette and John were pissing themselves with excitement.

Both of them shamelessly in awe there in the public eye, laughing and getting riled up. They knew Alex would have called them a pair of children if he were there to witness the whole thing, little did Alex know, Lafayette and John were planning on dragging him along once those films came out.

They head to yet another bar for a few drinks and come out both heated, infatuated with each other. Well more so John since he became possessive and very petty over some woman, who was trying it on with Lafayette at the bar when he was ordering more drinks.

It wasn't until John dragged him into a steamy kiss, there in front of her did she fume and storm off back to her circle of friends. Lafayette found John's jealousy adorable. He was like a kitten with his claws out.

John didn't know the time, the last time he checked it was past twelve or something like that.

Lafayette tells John that he had booked them a hotel room since Alex was hellbent on getting work done at home. Although Alex had offered to fuck off out for the evening, leaving the penthouse to Lafayette and John. Lafayette wanted to swivel John away to somewhere nice.

A difference choice of scenery for a change. They could always fuck at home anytime they liked, for their date, he wanted something new and only the best for their little one.

 

* * *

 

 

 

The hotel they ended up in was fairly new, posh, modern with granite marble floors and a grey colour scheme. Lafayette told John that this hotel was one of his company's newest builds.

Lafayette cheekily said he got to stay there free, as naughty as it was John liked it and the hotel was another world. It was beautiful. The elevator was transparent, they could see the city as they were being lifted and kissing in it sent them both into a frenzy. Almost as if they were flying up to heaven within each others arms.

When they got up on their floor Lafayette was pulling John along, arriving at the first door and swiping his card. With a singular 'beep' the door unlocks, John let out the cutest 'wow' when they got inside the room. Lafayette not too surprised since he had already been inside and seen the layouts, blueprints of most of these hotels anyway. But it was still just as gorgeous to him though and being able to bring John pleased him more.

Alex already knew where they were staying and had complained for Lafayette to take him at some point, with John included of course. Since the solid beds were apparently just 'made for threesomes'.

They had a spacious living room with the cream carpet, stunning dark grey sofas, light grey pillows and white satin ones. Beautiful round coffee table there on the rug. Chandelier in the centre, the same type of foot long windows with white draped curtains tickling the floor. John was amazed at the dining room, a hotel room with a fucking dining room. John did a double take at it then to Lafayette and he's in completely confounded. The luxury was just on another level.

John had a quick peak in the bathroom, well he ended up walking around it. Lafayette just hung around the doorway, either rolling his eyes over John's fascination but really watching him, smitten and content as he did.

The bathroom was all granite grey marble surfaces, a big bean shaped bath and shower room. A large window with the view of their city. Breathtaking.

Just like the living room, their bedroom had a chandelier too, it was more modern looking though. Big stunning futon styled bed, packed with tons of grey throws and pillows. Long windows surfacing the city, padded with draped curtains, a massive plasma on the wall and even a fireplace. Not that they would really be watching TV or warming up by the fire either, they could warm each other up just fine.

The first thing John did when stepping into the bedroom was turn directly to Lafayette who was closing the door. Lafayette was already grabbing John by the waist and John is staggering backwards when they're in a deep kiss.

John lands on the bed, Lafayette toppling on top of him, he's careful not to crush John and they're already working each others belt off. "Papa, I need you. Like, right now." John said breathily. "Now, now, now"

Lafayette straight up laughed at John's neediness. "Oh, cherie. You do make me laugh, so cute. Adorable." But Lafayette's version of 'Adorable' is switched in French.

They're unbuttoning one others shirts, both of them flying off whilst their lips move in tandem. John underneath Lafayette, he can feel big hands move up and down his stomach, it's still slightly bloated from dinner but Lafayette's cool hands calm his swelling.

Then Lafayette is going for his neck, usually John was used to this from Alex when it came to the neck game. But Lafayette's technique was far different, the kisses were more hungrier and less supple, John could feel Lafayette's hand hold his cheek in place while he went at that particular area.

Lafayette was a pro at finding John's weak spots, Alex took longer, mostly to tense and build up the suspense. Lafayette liked to get it over and done. Secretly much greedier. John was withering underneath him, moaning softly with his eyes closed. He could feel Lafayette's teeth nip at him, John is clawing at Lafayette's back to bring him closer needly.

Then there was Lafayette's teeth sinking into him, not too hard but not as gentle. John moaned from it and his nails are digging into Lafayette's toned back. Things were heating up and fast. But Lafayette goes back to his sweet kisses eventually and he's marking John with a bright purple love bite. Once he found John's sweet spot, that was it and John's eyes were rolling back.

"Papa" John let out in a whisper. "More, fuck." So Lafayette gave him more, he continued to suck and bite, his free hand working on John's growing bulge below, John opens his legs wider for more access and he's hitching his hips up as he does. "I need more, fuck, please, Papa, please." He rasped.

Lafayette gives John just that and he's pulling away after some time, sloppily and traces of spit are on John's neck. Lafayette lapped it up, almost too perversely for his own liking and he's whispering into John's ear, _"Je vais te baiser. Je vais te baiser bien et durement, jusqu'à ce que tu pleures."_ Lafayette huskily rasped out. John's stomach was doing backflips because, my god. _"Cela vous plairait-il, petit? Hm, petite chose. Sale chiton."_

John was trying to piece together parts of what Lafayette was saying, he understood a bit but not enough for him to answer back.

Still it was hot as hell. John is biting his lip as he's looking up at Lafayette with doe eyes. "They weren't lying when they said French men were great lovers, damn Laf." John murmured out. "Keep speaking to me like that."

He feels Lafayette jitter with his laughter and so he continued to rasp filthy french down his ear, a hand levelling with John's crotch and it's dipping down into his jeans. John is prying his jean off himself, manoeuvring slightly as he did to slip them off and Lafayette helps when he does. John kicks the jeans off his ankles and he's left in his black boxers.

Lafayette is half-sitting up for a second, one knee resting on the bed and one on the floor. He's busy sliding out his own belt, John is hungrily ripping it off and Lafayette chuckled more. _"sos patient"_ He said cheekily.

John snickered and he's shaking his head, "Nuh-uh, Papa, I want you now. Right now." Lafayette's brow rose and he's breaking into another smile. Amused clearly by John's brashness.

"Are you this impatient with Alexander, mon petit?" Lafayette joked.

"For you I'm worse," John rebuffed and he's sitting up, shuffling to Lafayette and he's grabbing Lafayette's jeans. "Gonna get these off now Papa, they're in the way. Need you." John says, he's made his voice that bit cuter and he's rolling on his knees.

He hadn't really gotten too much into the age play role with Lafayette before. Since Lafayette was fairly curious John wanted to give him a taster.

Lafayette gave a low hum in approval and he's letting John continue with whatever he's intent on doing. John remained biting his lip and licking them. He's not sure where this spark of confidence has come from but he wants to be so good for Lafayette, so dirty, cute and just overall filthy. A total naughty little boy.

John goes for Lafayette's fly on his pants and he's undoing it, once it's down John slides them down revealing Lafayette's boxers and Lafayette gets off the bed for a second to properly get them off. When he has John is gripping Lafayette's hips, balancing him there right infront of him and John cautiously looks up at Lafayette, innocently too but his smile isn't.

"Satisfied now?" Lafayette asked darkly. He's smirking, John doesn't break eye contact once and he's pouting. He knew damn well Lafayette was aware what John wanted to do.

With a little nod John goes for Lafayette's boxers, sliding them down slim taunt thighs, god his body though. John takes in everything, the 'v' on Lafayette's stomach, flat as a pancake it was. The small tuff of pubic hair that came into sight, with a bit more of a tug down, John's heart boomed when Lafayette's cock and balls came into view. They were gorgeous.

As his heart is racing John looked up at him again, his dimples on show and said, "I wanna be good for you, Papa. Gonna please you."

Of course, Lafayette wasn't that used to this type of talk, he's chuckling again but he's going with it. "And what will you do, in order to please me?"

John's darting his eyes to Lafayette's cock, it was an amazement alone. It wasn't even properly hard yet and John could feel drool fill up in his mouth. He gulps and says, "I'm gonna take your flippy-floppy, Papa, gonna suck it. Wanna make Papa feel amazing."

Lafayette makes a surprised 'mm' and he's grabbing his own cock, giving it a bit of a pump and a rub to get things started. John's staring at it like an appetiser and he's biting his lip, shuffling forward on his knees even more and he's looking up at Lafayette.

"And so, you think you deserve this? I mean, you could always please me in other ways." Lafayette tells him, sounding quite high and mighty as he does. It just turns John on even more. Lafayette continued to pump and press his cock. John found it so distracting though since he was trying to keep eye contact and look at his cock.

John pouts and he nods, "I do, no, I wanna please you this way. Let me Papa." John said in a small voice. His brow knitting, he looks needy. "Please, please."

Then just to tease him Lafayette is getting his cock and dabbing it that bit on John's little nose. "How much do you want to please me exactly?" Damn, John has never heard Lafayette sound like this before. His voice colder, sharper. He liked it though. Lafayette is now sliding his cock from the tip of John's nose to just over his lips. "Hm?"

"So much, Papa." John tells him. He's enticed by that cock running along his nose and lips so much, John ends up closing his eyes. He can feel his own cock and balls swell between his thighs. "Let me, Papa. I'm a good boy. I'll do whatever you want." And he's re-opening his eyes meeting Lafayette's smiling ones.

"Indeed, you will." Lafayette says sternly. "Show Papa how you would handle this then?" He's got his cock at the base of John's mouth, so John takes the hint and he's wasting no time engulfing Lafayette's cock in his mouth.

John takes it out at first with a 'pop' and he's giving it a few butterfly licks to start with. Just tender little licks until he's grabbing Lafayette's cock and stuffing it back into his mouth. The size ached his jaw but John went on well with sucking it regardless. Lafayette stood there chewing the inside of his own cheek, eyes closed for a split moment or so while John remained sucking him dry.

Lafayette murmured something in French, god knows what but John knows he's enjoying himself. John's eyeing Lafayette there above him, then he's letting go of Lafayette's cock and planting his hands there on the bed, he's sitting up on his knees like a good pup.

John can feel Lafayette's hand seep on to the back of his head, his fingers on his scalp and he's got a grip of John's hair. It isn't hard at all, unlike Alex who practically scalped him.

"It is okay?" Lafayette asks him through pants. John knows he's referring to him pulling at his hair. Through his sucking, wet sloppy noises and slippy churning in his mouth, John nods. "You feel incredible, mon chou." Lafayette rasps before wittering on in French again.

With another lap with his skilled tongue John bobbed his head, Lafayette's nails were digging in a little and John's sloppy wet squelched noises continued to fill up the room. _"Merde..."_ Lafayette panted. "Fuck"

With the tip of Lafayette's cock hitting the back of his throat, John still managed to grin through it all. Lafayette rarely ever swore. He knew he was doing his Papa good and John knew he would have jaw ache for the next two days probably after this. His gag reflex is going strong and eventually John feels the spray of milky saltiness run down his throat.

At that John slipped out Lafayette's cock, swallowing it and he's grabbing his cock to shake the last few mouthful of cum into his mouth. Never wasting a drop. Lafayette lets out a huff, his firm chest heaving and toned stomach twitched. John went back to looking up at Lafayette who was gathering himself.

Half of John's hair had fallen out from his bun during their ordeal and he's slipping out his hair tie. John gave his head a small shake, allowing his curls to be unruly and tossed one half of it all over his shoulder. Lafayette watched as he did, he's giving John a smirk and leaning down as he does.

John's captivated in Lafayette's dark gaze, he's always caged and trapped when it comes to him. But John didn't hide away, he allowed himself to go wherever this was going to go. So as Lafayette swooped down to him, John is clasping Lafayette by the cheeks and pulling him into a heated kiss.

Lafayette is climbing on top over him, kissing John right back into the bed fiercely. Then John feels Lafayette take his wrists, pinning him to the bed. Lafayette gritting into him with his groin, their cocks both grazing against each others and John feels one of Lafayette's hands begin to toy with the elastic of his boxers, they're slowly peeling away from his body and John is flicking them away off his ankles with his feet.

John felt Lafayette's stiff dick and the soft weight of Lafayette's sac pressing against his low belly. John panted raggedly, trying hard not to buck his hips up and rub against him.

John's tongue rose in defense to this oral onslaught and their mouths grappled furiously. Finally Lafayette broke off the kiss, his face hovered above John's and their eyes locked. John stared wide-eyed and silent into Lafayette's desire-clouded gaze.

John licked his bottom lip nervously, breaking a thin strand of saliva that still connected their lips. He tasted the coppery flavor of his blood and realized that he had kissed Lafayette so hard he had split the tender flesh there.

"Laf... shit" John murmured. "I'm sorry, I went to hard then and -"

But Lafayette silences him with another passionate kiss and he's pulling away.

"You miscorrect me" Lafayette whispered. John tries not to roll his eyes and he breaks out with a giggle.

"Papa, I think I bit you too hard. You're bleeding..." John says softly with a hint of concern.

Lafayette shakes his head. A grin came over Lafayette's handsome face. He immediately lowered his head and placed a hard biting kiss on John's low neck. He released John's wrists and nipped his way down a flushed, hard heaving chest before pushing himself up off John pinned beneath him.

"Shit... Papa... fuck." John muttered aloud.

Then Lafayette nips him a bit too hard and John winces. He can hear Lafayette snicker below. "Papa!" John scolds.

"It is payback mon petit," Lafayette chided. "Also, your language is filthy."

John scoffed, "Not as filthy as yours! I heard you... Papa you're so bad." Lafayette looked up at him with the naughtiest smile.

"Well, since you must say that. Cherie, I am wondering whether you really need them lessons now after all..."

Then with panic etched on John's face, he jumps right back in and whined, "I do, Papa! I do!"

This has Lafayette laughing and he's pressing a soft kiss to John's neck. "Hm, we will soon see."

Lafayette was so stirred he had little mind for foreplay… he'd played enough. No sooner had he sat up than he grabbed John and flipped him over on to his belly. He leaned over pressing against John from the back now and husked in a pinked ear.

"But first, you must be good for me. Then I shall reward you very soon with those lessons."

John could feel his heart almost jumping out of his chest. He was waiting for whatever was about to happen next. His cock was aching now. John didn't trust himself with words at the moment. He blushed at the thought of what was to come next but mentally calmed himself.

"Such a good little thing" Lafayette growled and placed another nipping kiss on the at the base of John's neck. John shivered at the sheer sexiness of the lust in Lafayette's voice and was hard pressed not to come right there.

Lafayette grabbed John's hips and pulled the him onto his knees. Lafayette was beside himself at the look of John's body like this, so perfect, taunt and lithe. With John's cock and his balls, just, right there for the taking, it gave Lafayette glee knowing right now, John was his. No one else's, not even Alex's. His.

John felt a warm hand on his back, pushing his shoulders down to the mattress. He allowed himself to be positioned this way, his ass still high in the air.

Lafayette placed a sucking kiss on each one of John's ass cheeks just before his hands slid down from lean hips and replaced his lips. He kneaded the firm flesh before spreading John's cheeks, revealing his little one to him entirely.

John gasped when Lafayette chose to place his third heated kiss right on his quivering pucker. An electric shiver shot through him as Lafayette began to lavish this place with his talented tongue. John moaned unrepentantly as Lafayette's slick, velvety tongue pushed into him.

"Papa…?" John didn't have enough breath to finish his question; the sensation of Lafayette's tongue was so intense.

John found himself the author of the most un-prideful whimper when Lafayette's mouth left him. He was further appalled to hear this same sound repeated when Lafayette spat just at the top of his anxious asshole and used gravity's sliding drip of this to slick the single finger that had sought entrance and was now pressing into him.

"Were you going to ask me what I was doing, mon petit?" Lafayette purred behind him.

John felt his heavy sac draw up further and his weeping cock twitch, as after asking this Lafayette spat again into his relaxing entrance. John offered his undignified sound in triplicate when he felt the heated tip of Lafayette's cock nudge against his hole.

"You say you want lessons in French, non? Well, I can give you, a trail run of what you will be learning." He could hear the laughter in Lafayette's voice. John turned his head back round to give Lafayette a _look_.

As Lafayette positions himself, John turns back round and he's dropping his upper body slightly. John found himself uttering a silent prayer, one that was quickly cut short, as Lafayette pressed in and set about giving him the tutoring he solely needs.

Lafayette slipped in and he's drilling into John. Balls hitting the entrance of John's ass, slapping against him and he's delighted, that John's hole can still swallow him easily. John is mewling in total pleasure, tears brimming his eyes because Lafayette knows where to hit him. Just where that spot _is_.

That's it for John. He's done when Lafayette reaches it, he can feel his cock pretty much tearing his prostate off the inside of his ass. Almost like tearing wallpaper off a wall. John's eyes were rolled back, he's chanting in breathily rasps "Papa, more" and "Oh, fuck yes, fuck me harder Papa". Lafayette complied and gives John exactly what he wanted.

Eventually each thrust turned soggy, John can feel the semen sink to his insides and it never bothered him anymore. Infact John liked it when his daddies came inside him. The feeling of being owned, theirs, loved by them both. He craved it. Needed it. Wanted to be wanted.

Lafayette goes harder on him again and John is almost crying. He can't take much longer before his own release is at the brink of splurging all over.

Long fingers gripped rumpled sheets. Beneath Lafayette's pounding pulse John's lean flanks still quivered with the burn of his own recent release. Though his last clenching spasm had ended minutes before, John trembled from the internally induced orgasm, so much more concentrated and simultaneously expansive, than the ones that came solely from manual stimulation.

Each deep thrust of Lafayette's thick cock had grazed over his seed of pleasure and continued to do so.

And his Papa wasn't done yet.

All John's senses were heightened and raw after coming. He could feel the sweet sweat of ecstatic exertion running down the length of his dipped back, pooling in the creases of his bent knees; the seed soaked sheets against his heated skin.

Usually he preferred for either Alex or Lafayette to come first, as otherwise his climax rendered his flesh so sensitive immediately after their prolonged motions quickly became the most extraordinary sensual torture. Even now, in fact, John's mouth was clamped over one of his wrists, trying to muffle the pleasure-pained cries each of Lafayette's powerful thrusts jarred from his throat.

John opened his tear-glazed eyes when he felt Lafayette's hands leave his hips.

Lafayette paused for just a moment as he leaned over him. John back was suddenly covered by his enveloping heat. A hand suddenly tangled in his damp curly hair.

A growling moan escaped, when the hand in his hair pulled John's mouth reluctantly away from where it was latched to his wrist.

Lafayette didn't stop, however, his hips continued to buck, but his rhythm had slowed and gentled. his labored breaths, panted hot in John's ear.

"Mon petit, I want to keep going."

John was touched by the plea in the Lafayette's tatement. Lafayette was always a considerate lover. Even tonight in the midst of his lust induced fury, Lafayette had stopped to reach over and grab the small bottle lube from his coat pocket, when it had quickly become clear that his spit wasn't going to provide enough of a glide for John's comfort.

"Keep going then, Papa. Do your thing." John rasped blissfully. "More, fuck. _More_."

John understood Lafayette was asking for permission to continue and that if he said "no" his Papa would withdraw and finish himself manually. He also knew Lafayette's stamina and that since Lafayette had already come earlier, there was no guarantee, if he allowed it, that Lafayette would immediately finish as his staying power was amazing.

Then John gasped when Lafayette's hand not tangled in his hair reached up to his chest and brushed across the tip of one of his sensitive nipples. While normally they were extraordinarily responsive, since he'd so recently come the touch burned twice as bright, the sensation so sharp it was painful.

Lafayette distracted John from the bite of this sensation by placing a not so gentle nip of his own to his earlobe. When his teeth released, he extended his tongue and licked the salty length of John's neck.

"Please…" Lafayette moaned into John.

John drew a deep breath and nodded beneath the hand in his hair. He uttered a growl when he went to drop his head to take up his grasp on his wrist again and found himself held firmly in place.

"I want to hear you, cherie," Lafayette murmured. The hand on John's chest lightly pinched an erect nipple.

"Papa…"

John hissed and gritted his teeth at the electric flash this touch sparked.

"Mmmmmm… that's right, little one… just like that," Lafayette purred. "Say my name, it sounds so sexy rolling out of that fuckable mouth of yours."

John bit back a new moan as Lafayette punctuated this with a strong stroke of his cock. Despite knowing what would happen or perhaps because of this, the fire in John revived.

"No!" John gasped.

He wanted to be bad now.

"No, I won't" 

John bit his lip, a small smirk at hand. Although Lafayette couldn't see this though.

However Lafayette slowed slightly and said, "No, what?" He was careful, taking in consideration that John may be saying 'no' and wanting out.

But John wasn't and instead, he couldn't help but whimper when he felt Lafayette rise up off him. One hand stayed tangled in his thick mass of curls, the other hand gripped one of his slender hips firmly. Lafayette used both these hands to pull John back into him as his hips shot forward.

"Is that a 'no' you won't say it?" Lafayette growled knowing this little manoeuvre of John. He allowed his cock to slide out a ways, but not too far.

"Or a 'no' you're going to have to fuck it out of me, Papa?" Lafayette punctuated this by plunging his cock back in hard.

The earlier discomfort was breaking and Lafayette's motions were now quickly reviving John's pleasure. Though it killed his pride to do so, as Lafayette went to pull back again, John tightened his skilled internal muscles around Lafayette's cock.

This time it was Lafayette who moaned.

"I'll take that as a 'yes' for the latter, mon petit," Lafayette panted delightedly. "Such a minx"

Lafayette pushed back in and felt John tighten around him once more in affirmation.

"Have it your way, cherie, if you must misbehave for Papa -" Lafayette panted, he's shoving right back into John and it catches John off guard. John's tilting his head back and moaning aloud. "I think you must be taught 'things' other than French. Perhaps, some obedience to start with rather..." 

Picking up his rhythm again, Lafayette knew that if John kept this up, there was no way he was going to be able to abstain from coming soon. Lafayette released his grip on John's hair and now both hands were back on John's hips.

"Papa! Oh god, fuck."

Thrilling in the vision of watching his cock pump in and out of John's beautiful backside, Lafayette focused all his attention on John's ass now.

John pushed himself up off of his elbows. His head hung low, beads of sweat clung to the tips of his thick bangs, all the little curls at the base of his neck, clumped and soggy.

He closed his eyes against the building tears of pleasure as Lafayette's muderous pace increased yet again. As Lafayette thrust forth, John rocked back to meet him, relaxing and constricting his muscles, gripping Lafayette's thick dick exquisitely.

Soon the only sound in their bedroom was the rewarding slap of frictioning flesh and both of their rasping breaths.

"Fuck, cherie… you're so amazing!" Lafayette 's usual voice was weighted heavy with pleasure.

Beneath Lafayette rampant motion, John's cock hadn't revived again from his earlier orgasm, but that didn't matter as the continuing brush against his prostate, filled his low belly with wave after wave of deep pulsing pleasure.

Against the heated skin of his ass John felt Lafayette's balls hitch. He could feel the twitch of Lafayette 's cock inside him as Lafayette's passions readied to boil over. Knowing it was time, John offered the name in growled tones of reverence submitting his heart as well as his flesh.

"Papa!"

Hearing John say his name like that immediately conjured Lafayette's climax.

"John…" Lafayette answered back, every syllable quivered under the strain of the love it contained.

No sooner had his last spasm subsided, than Lafayette his limbs heavy, leaned down and gathered John in. Rather than pull out he clutched John tightly and collapsed on top of his beloved.

"Oh, John" Lafayette murmured happily, nuzzling John's ear.

John whispered beneath Lafayette's huge and furiously pounding heart.

 

 

"I love-"

 

 

He feels Lafayette still for a moment and his breath hitched. 

 

 

Then John clears his throat, a slight tint of embarrassment filling him. Before he nuzzled back into Lafayette, hiding away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Lafayette"

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW.
> 
> I said I would update this a month ago guys, I am so sorry. I just haven't been feeling up to writing this one as much and I have had a really sore hand from writing too much of my other fic.
> 
> I needed a bit of a rest over the weekend before coming back to finish this chapter. I've had it written for ages, since a month ago. Then I started writing and I couldn't stop!
> 
> But now we are in the middle of it all with these three... the next chapter or so may be a bit of a downer. Be prepared!
> 
> Thank you so much everyone for your support, the comments and kudos! I appreciate them so much. You guys know I do! I am surprised just how many of you like this fic!
> 
> <3
> 
>  
> 
> The French:
> 
> * comment apprends-tu le français?" = How are you studying French?
> 
> * tellement grossier = So rude
> 
> *sos patient = be patient
> 
> * merde = shit
> 
> *Je vais te baiser. Je vais te baiser bien et durement, jusqu'à ce que tu pleures. Cela vous plairait-il, petit? Hm, petite chose. Sale chiton. = I'm going to fuck you. I'll fuck you good and hard, until you cry. Would you like it, little one? Hm, little thing. Dirty chiton.
> 
> ;)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> P.S
> 
> The pumpkins I mentioned are based off a place in New York that were up this Halloween. If any of you follow Jasmine and Anthony (Maria/Peggy & Pip/John in Ham) they went there. They showed videos of them on their Instastories. I dont know the place though, sorry! But it looked amazing! :)


	15. RUNNING

 

With Halloween been and gone.

John was glad since Alex had sneakily came into Lava Java during the day, caught John with a pair of kitty ears on, cooed over him shamelessly. Hercules agreeing with him which egged Alex on even more and Alex snapped some pictures when he was ordering. Hercules had found it highly amusing, John protested when he was brewing some woman's latte and tried to keep it professional towards his idiot boyfriend.

It wasn't John's fault, he hadn't chosen to wear cat ears, he hadn't known it was dress up day at work for Halloween and one of his other colleagues had some ears spare. John had thrown Hercules glares all day, secretly wishing and wanting to be the one wearing that Spiderman costume.

That evening Alex made it up to him when John came home, Alex ordered in John's favourite take out consisting of greasy Chinese food. Topped off with lots of snuggles on the sofa gorging on trash TV with their pumpkin lit, John had insisted they carve one, because jesus christ, Alex and Lafayette wouldn't hear the end of it if they didn't. Then after a long hot bath, kisses and it was even better when Lafayette came home to join them there.

Although John went into a bit of a mood when he came across Facebook pictures which featured Peggy, Angelica and Eliza. They were tagged in them by one of their classmates and John's heart sank. He missed Peggy the most. They were all laughing, dressed up crazily as possible. Angelica in this sexy cat woman costume, black spandex looked amazing on her. Eliza was Cinderella, typical.

John was surprised as he did a double take, Peggy had cut her hair off. It was this adorable curly pixie cut, she was some kind of zombie school girl. Fake blood down her mouth and all. John found himself smiling softly at the pictures, he missed his girls. Missed his bestie, Pegs. John had tried to reach out, tried to send her a message but Peggy had immediately blocked him. He figured it wasn't good enough and was finding the courage to face her again.

It was something Alex had noticed recently too, John got defensive when Alex asked why John rarely ever went out with his friends anymore and said "Baby, you are allowed to go out. Live your life! Go get drunk, spew up your guts and then call us at four am to pick you up!" which didn't end too well with Lafayette, who protested against any four in the mornings phone calls.

Sometimes John did go out with Hercules though, but the guy often fled whenever the first piece of skirt gave him the eye. Leaving John sat there alone at a bar, swarmed by a good amount of ignoramuses bumping into him, spilling their drinks on him and irritating girls who tried to get his number.

Most of the time John put himself into his work. It helped, took his mind of his shitty social life and besides, he had some online friends anyway. Some in England, a few in Australia and others scattered around the country. But the person John kept often forgetting to reach out to the most was Martha. His Martha.

The last time John had tried to give her a call back had been in August and it was nearly November. She kept ignoring his calls whenever he did and it did make John worried. He never told the worry to Lafayette or Alex but John did wonder if she was coping okay.

He knew she still cut from time to time. The only thing John could do was message his brother Henry, tell him to keep an eye on her. John didn't really want to ask James or Mary, they were the babies of the family. Mary was squeamish and James wasn't the best with difficult situations. At least Henry understood that bit more.

Although their relationship was rocky right now. Henry had called John up the other day, Alex and Lafayette were in the same room when he did. John didn't really like phone calls around others the best of times, he noticed Alex was placing his attention elsewhere and Lafayette kept himself busy. Still though.

But Henry had been complaining that he hadn't been down for so long, a year. He was getting tired of sorting everyone else's bullshit around the house, James and him always fighting.

Mary was now apparently getting bullied at school. Martha, well, he never mentioned her much and said she was distant as usual. Then when John asked about their father, Henry just said their father was working. John knew better than to ask really, their father probably wasn't bothering with them. Putting work first. Nothing new.

Their last phone call ended with a blazing argument though, Henry calling him 'selfish' and John ending the phone call with 'call me back when you've grown the fuck up'. That had been that. Alex and Lafayette had only exchanged concerned glances but neither brought it up.

Now it was November and John's finals were really kicking in. Christmas wasn't long off and things were starting to get busier. Decorations were appearing in the stores, all the gorgeous luminous lights were popping up outside in the city and Christmas adverts were now worming their way in on TV.

John knew for a fact he would be spending Christmas yet again with Alex and Lafayette. They assumed he would be too, Lafayette was already making plans which consisted of John coming to France with them to meet some of Lafayette's family, stay at one of their Parisian homes which sounded amazing.

John had never been to Europe and hadn't really ever thought about going until now. Alex said the cold weather could 'fuck off' and they could get away, go to Bora Bora, Maldives or somewhere hot. Alex loved the warm weather.

At the moment John was indecisive because of his shifts picking up again, the Christmas drink menu had grown compared to last year, now featuring 'Chocolate Mint Santa Slushies' and 'Roast Hazelnut Praline Hot Chocolate'. John of course had to alert Alex about these and as usual, Alex's face went green at the thought of drinking something that sickly. Lafayette however was all for it.

But with college looming over John and the thoughts of his family down south, John wasn't sure if he wanted to go away. Not just yet. Alex and Lafayette really wanted to take him away though. And it all came up in discussion one evening.

"Honey, it isn't as if you'll never be coming back. We're not going to kidnap you." Alex joked.

John was helping Alex wash up the dishes after dinner. Lafayette still wasn't home yet although he was due.

As John put one of the plates on the drying rack, he's giving a bit of a shrug and grimacing as he does. "I've have a lot going on right now Alex" John tells him.

Alex is busy drying out the pan. "I know, I know. But it's only once a year. I mean, if you really don't want to go anywhere, that's fine." Then he's reaching for one of the plates off the rack to dry. "It's just that me and Laf need to know, so that he can plan ahead and get tickets booked. That's all."

John nodded. "Yeah, I guess. It's just..." Alex looked over to him since John couldn't find his words. Alex slowly places down the fresh plate and he's frowning.

"What?"

At this point John may as well just tell Alex what was on his mind. John's fiddling with the scrubbing brush with his fingers and a qsponge in the other hand. "I haven't been home in over a year." John says.

Alex's frown softens, although he still remained looking concerned. "My younger brother, Henry, he's not happy with me right now. Keeps bitching how I haven't been back to see them and Martha has basically shut me out." John scoffed towards the end.

Then John huffed out, "I mean, fuck, after what my father tried to do to me. I can't believe he expects me to step back in that house. Pretty sure my room is now probably shredded up or turned into another office for my father to keep all his old shit in."

Alex doesn't say anything at first. He's listening though, he always listens and he's tapping his fingers there in thought on the counter top. John's grip on the sponge tightens.

"I don't even want to go back" John hisses. He should't say that really, he knows it's wrong. John loved his siblings and his hometown despite it's issues. It was still home.

But then Alex blurted out with, "Then don't" He tells John.

John turns to Alex with an expression of mixed emotions. Alex shrugged.

"You're an adult, John. You don't have to obey and run to every command from your dad. You can make your own decisions, if you don't want to go back, fine, fuck it. Stay here!" Alex said and chuckled. "Me and Laf, we don't mind. Hell, even move in baby!"

John's eyes go wide and Alex chuckled although John could sense that bit of nervousness to it. Alex knew just how forward he had sounded but he played it off cool. As he's strolling over to John, placing a comforting hand on his boyfriend's lower back.

"I'm not saying... cut them off or anything. God, no. That wouldn't be right." Alex said. "But I just want you to know, honey, you've got a home right here. Regardless of what happens. Alright?"

"Alex..." John leans his head to the side as he considers just what Alex had told him.

Alex smiles softly at him and gives John a small peck on the cheek. "Stop worrying"

"I'm not" John rebuffed. "Thank you, though."

To put things on a happier note John drops the sink utensils and he's wrapping his arms around Alex. John rests his chin on Alex's shoulder, he's that bit taller than John so he's straining his neck slightly. But John doesn't mind, he's got Alex and that was all that mattered.

As he does this, Alex is looking to John and smiling to himself. He holds John back and they're leaning against the counter top. With a supple kiss pressed to Alex's neck, John pulls back ajar and he's looking up at Alex. Right into those big brown puppy dog eyes. John is so grateful for him and Lafayette though. He really is.

Then he remembered his date with Lafayette and how he had told John that they both loved him. John couldn't believe it, his heart and mind were over the mood. They still were. Even now and John didn't want to believe it. He really didn't, he tried not to think about it that moment too much because either he would end up crying or spilling out his true feelings. John couldn't do that.

They could never know.

For now John just wanted to bask in the moment. These kinds of precious moments where Alex's hands were on him or Lafayette's tongue was down his throat then they made out. Just blocking out all the negatives, all the memories and just feel for a second or two.

Alex's eye bags were heavier than usual, he hadn't been sleeping all that well due to his new workload. Lafayette had told him on the side on days when John hadn't stayed over, Alex wasn't going to bed until three or four in the morning. It wasn't even that Alex was behind on his work, Alex just enjoyed his job and never stopped.

He was good at what he did. Then there was his own business he took care of and had to manage on the side. Alex never complained though unless it was about a few of his colleagues who didn't pull their weight. But there was never a peep out of him usually.

"Alex you need to sleep more, you look exhausted." said John, concern seeping in his words.

Alex shrugs and he laughs as he does. "Oh honey, I've told you before. I'll rest when I'm dead." John huffs at his response and balls his eyes. Alex rests his head on the crook of John's neck as he giggles. Alex's hot breath tickles when he does.

"Sorry, I've just got a lot on right now. I never stop." Alex mumbled against him.

John reaches a hand for Alex's hair and tousled it lovingly. "You really don't" John sighs. "Is this why you're so eager on us all going abroad for Christmas?"

A nod. "Kinda, yeah." Alex says. "But mostly because I think it'd be nice, y'know? Us all going somewhere else for a change. Together." Alex says hazily.

At this John giggles. "Sounds like a family holiday more than a romantic get away."

Then Alex head turns upwards slightly, he's then standing up properly at full height. "Well, it sorta is." Alex said. John's heart raced at this.

John couldn't stop the cheesy grin that was forming on his lips. He see's that gleam in Alex's eyes too. "You saying we're family or something?"

Alex shakes his head as he's beaming back and he's taking John's cheeks softly. "Kinda, maybe." Alex says. He's dipping his thumbs into John's dimples. "Something like that, little one."

"Wow" John gasped out. He's delighted. "Daddy, that's..." John is lost for words and he doesn't get much of a chance to speak next either when Alex is going in, grinning and capturing his lips.

John kisses him back, he tries to hop up on the counter behind him, a little bit of help comes from Alex too when he's got hold of the side of John's thighs and he's hoisting him up. That spark of strength ignites a fire in John and he's hungrily kissing Alex.

"Damn" John mutters between kisses. "Daddy's strong"

Alex snickered as he's kissing John. "Like I've always said, I'm full of surprises, kitten."

While Alex is working a trail of sweet kisses along John's neck, John is curling a leg around Alex's waist and he's running his hands along Alex's sides. He's slyly dipping them into Alex's sweats and boxers. John toys with their hem when he's doing it before slipping his hands on Alex's ass cheeks. John's nails softly grate against them and he's moaning when Alex finds the tenderest part of his neck.

"Daddy" John mewled. "Shit"

John's warping another leg around Alex's waist and what surprises John next is when Alex is jostling him upwards. Immediately John is wavering all over the place. He's clutching the back of Alex's top, holding on for dear life and his eyes are wide open.

"What're you -" John is cut off again when he can feel Alex peel him off the counter. "Alex!"

Alex can just about pick John up, he's struggling since John wasn't that light but he managed. Alex was chuckling away, panting heavily after just finishing his last kiss on John's neck and he's hurrying them away out the kitchen. John's tightening his legs around Alex's waist and hooking his arms around his neck when he does to secure himself.

"Hush" Alex laughed. "Daddy's gonna take care of you, stop fussing." He gives John a light spank on his backside since John was unable to keep still. "Don't wiggle! I'll drop you!"

"Fuck" John muttered as he squirmed.

He was far from used to being picked up. It felt so weird, at the same time it was nice. Being made to feel so vulnerable in a way. Alex had shocked him the most. John hadn't thought he would be able to lift him so easily. "Daddy, put me down!" John whined. "Now, now, now!" He knew it sounded so childish and John smirked when Alex gave him another spank, it was harsher this time and John bit his lip.

"So impatient" Alex grumbled. "Wait, little one."

"Now!" John cried. "Down! Daddy!"

"Stop moving around!"

Just to be a nuisance John wormed around for Alex even more. Alex sighed and they're in the bedroom now, it wasn't too far away and as soon as they got to the bed, Alex plonks down. John bounces on his ass when he's dropped, he's laughing and Alex is shaking his head disapprovingly.

"You're so fucking bad" Alex muttered. "You could've fell!"

John sees it in Alex's dark big brown eyes, the glimmering of naughtiness right there and he knew their ordeal was only just beginning.

John is busy throwing off his top. It lands in the corner of the bedroom. Alex looked to it and then he's eyeing John. "You can pick that up later" and they both snorted in laughter. Alex strips his top off next and it drops to the floor by the bed in a 'plop'. "Don't let Papa catch you throwing clothes around, little one. You'll be in trouble. Then again, you're already in trouble, aren't you? Fucking wiggling around, I could've dropped you!"

Then John is lying down on his back there, he's making grabbing hands for Alex and smiling away. "But you didn't" John giggled. "C'mon, daddy, stop whining like an old man. I want you."

At that John almost regret it when he see's Alex's mouth drop open and Alex was straddling him right away on the bed. "That's it" said Alex, he's got John who's giggling away underneath him, his curls sprawled out everywhere, one of the strands of his hair in his mouth and his dimpled cheeks are bright red from laughing.

"So you want to be a little brat? Aright then. Turn over, now." Alex said sternly. John could see the ghost of Alex's smirk on his lip there, he knew it was all play. Nothing serious.

"Nope!" said John.

"Now" Alex commanded.

So when John pouted and refused to turn over, Alex had to do it for him, he's grabbing John by the shoulders. John is shifting over as Alex guides him on his front, he's still in a fit of giggles as he does. "It's not funny"

Alex only saying that just had John laughing more and it came to an end when John felt a thundering swat on his backside. "Ah!" He cried. John looked over his shoulder up at Alex, his mouth slightly ajar and he rose his brow at Alex. Alex who's doing the exact same but smugly.

To push his limit with Alex just then John arched his back, his backside ambushing Alex's groin up as he did. Alex is looking to John's ass thrusting up against him and then darting his eyes to John's. "You're seriously testing Daddy's patience today, aren't you, baby boy." He purred throatily.

"Maybe" John said back cheekily. It earned him another jarring spank and he's rutting up Alex again. Alex looks at John, he's licking his lips and scoffing.

"Naughtiest little bitch" Alex mutters. "Gonna have to teach you a lesson, teach you some fucking discipline, huh?" He's already worming his hands around John's waist, tugging at his sweatpants and snagging them down John's ass. But then Alex's voice went softer and he's looking back to John, seriousness in his eyes. "What do you say?"

John gets it. Alex is asking if they can go further, John bites his lip and he's bumping his ass into Alex's groin, yet, again. Alex snorts and is giving a lazy swat to John's ass. "Alright then, I see. Daddy's gonna have to give you a tellin' off."

"Ooh, scary." John giggled and his giggling halted when he could feel his ass bare and a rough spank on his two cheeks was landed. It echoed the room this time and John let out a breathy wince. His cock was twitching during the aftermath spurt of tingling pain. "Daddy!"

Alex takes a soft handful of John's mass of curls and he's tugging John up by it. Not too harshly though but firm enough to show some dominance at least. Alex puts his lips near John's ear and whispered, "Told you not to wiggle and what did you do?"

John's adams apple is bobbing up and down, Alex watches as it does and his grin grows wider. John's back to chewing his bottom lip and he's not answering. Alex tugged on him again, his fingers grasping at John's hair and accidentally Alex must've caught a strand just under his finger nail, it's sharp and painful. John lets out an actual pained sound and it causes Alex's to pull away.

"Shit, are you -" Alex babbled.

However John cut right over him. "No!" John turns back to Alex. "Do it again, harder. Pull on me harder, Daddy."

Slowly Alex re-takes that same handful of John's hair. "You sure?" He's watching John carefully, sharply. Alex didn't want to cause him full on pain. That wasn't how this worked. "Jack?"

A nod off John and he's grinding himself into Alex more, he can feel how hard Alex was getting. Alex growled and he's leaning back down on John, he's whispering into his hair yet again. "You little slut" Alex says. "You're loving this, aren't you? Fucking tease."

"I am" John stifles another giggle. When he did Alex's mouth twists and he's aggressively tugging on John's hair. "Ah!" cried John. Alex's hand loosened and before he could let go again. "Don't hold back, Daddy. Again, more. Fuck." John murmured. "I trust you, don't hold back."

So with that Alex tugs on John's hair that bit more again and John can feel the strands of his hair screaming. He's rolling his eyes back and arching up into Alex there behind him more. "Fuck" John lets out. "Daddy, you just gonna do this all night or are you actually going to teach me a lesson?"

It's the way John says it, with attitude, snippily which has Alex smacking him right there on his ass with such a force. Alex notices his handprint was even beginning to show up too among the redness.

Pain is etched on John's face but he's back to biting his lip. "Mm, Daddy. Yes, hn, yes, more!"

Alex just grins in satisfaction as he's watching John's reactions. "Is that all you can do?" John challenged.

He was surprised that Alex did not immediately spank or yank his hair next, his tone of voice was less desperate and more frustrate now. John could feel his cock start to ache too from all of this. Instead, Alex's dark eyes stared at him curiously. "You should never underestimate me, little one." Alex snorts and bit his lip in anticipation of John's response. That's if he dared.

John gave Alex a joyfully teasing smile. "Prove it"

Alex hummed at that and so pressed himself between John's thighs rubbing up against John's ass. One of his hands slid down John's back, cupping the curve of a firm ass cheek. He squeezed it mercilessly. "Really starting to piss me off, you know that?"

"Hmmmmm," John looked up Alex inquisitively. "That right, Daddy?"

Not wanting to lose the mood, Alex slipped into his silky voice: the one that made John's toes curl. "Enough" Alex hissed. "That's enough lip for tonight. Quiet." Alex roughly snatches John's cheeks there in his hand, he's forcing John to look up at him.

He see's that glimmer in John's eyes and the corners of his lips twitch. Alex holds John by the cheeks tighter. "I'm warning you, kitten. Another word out of that smart little mouth of yours and that's it."

But John being John couldn't help it. He wanted to push Alex's buttons tonight, see how far they could take this. He felt ready.

Instead of saying anything, John just bursts out into a new fit of giggles right there in Alex's face. Alex releases John by the cheeks and he's shaking his head, Alex clearly trying to hold in his own grin. But John can't. He's in tucks of laughter. He loves seeing Alex try and act serious even though John knows Alex is doing his best to keep it all in.

"You really don't know when to stop, do you?" Alex sighs. He smacks John on his ass again, John winces and wiggles his backside, evidently wanting more since he got such a kick out of it. "Fucking extra, as fuck. You're such a bad, bad, little thing."

"I am" John sings playfully. He's staring up at Alex, his lips twiddling together and his dimples are on show. He can't keep it together. Alex narrows his eyes.

"You think you're a big fucking boy, do you?" Alex asked with a small scoff. "Hm?"

"I do" John sang.

Another loud smack on the backside. John's ass had gone red now, bright oozing red. "Ah, so, you're in charge here?" Alex snickered. Another spank and John throws his head back with a moan. Alex watches, he's careful. Just incase. John doesn't miss the small quick rub Alex places on that swollen cheek either.

Before another sharp swat is added. "Guess what, sweetness. I'm in charge here. Daddy is in charge. You'll do what I say -" Alex is spanking him again. Another moan off John and a gasp this time. "All that mouth, it's gonna get you nowhere, baby. It really fucking isn't. It only makes Daddy angrier. Yet, you're still trying to be a little smarty. Aren't you?"

"I am" John giggled and it's cut off with another smack. "Ah!"

Alex gave John another grand whack this time, it was much harder and John's ass was bruising up now. Milky tan with a mixture of bright pink and redness. He kept his eye on it still. They had to have a limit here.

"Oh, god, fuck -" John breathed out during his next spank. "Hurry up and just fuck me already!"

Alex slipped into a wicked grin. "Demanding, hm. Guess what, little one. You don't make the rules, what Daddy says, goes."

Then John is looking at Alex with a playful frown. "Nuh-uh!"

"More like 'uh-huh' kitten" Alex sassily spat back, he's arching a brow at John. "You get fucked when _I_ decide"

But John was having done of it, he's squirming around under Alex and moving on to his back. It's hard to do since Alex's body weight wasn't light and John's sweats were still wormed around his thighs. Alex adjusts anyway to allow John to do whatever it was he was trying to do. He watches as John moves on his back and he sees the pain on his face.

Alex can't really help but lovingly rummage a hand through John's curls. Just to show that he was still paying attention incase he wanted to slow things down.

"Daddy! I want to be fucked!" John cried, he's trying to kick his legs. Alex is jostled as he's doing it and rolls his eyes at John with a smirk. "I'm sick of waiting!"

"Fine" Alex says, nonchalantly. "Alright, baby boy. You win, Daddy will fuck you. Nice and raw."

John is looking right into Alex's eyes. He doesn't know where this is going, but John is suspicious of Alex now. Alex leans down and presses a soft kiss on John's forehead. He's pulling back and toying with one of his curls, wrapped around his finger as he does. Alex releases it so it can spring back into place.

"But let's be a little more adventurous," Alex adds. John's eyes never leave Alex as he's watching Alex sit up there on top of him. Alex snorts. "Your face, god, honey" He can hear Alex mutter to himself quietly.

John watches Alex shift off the bed for a moment and he's slipping over to his drawers. John stirs as he sees just what Alex is grabbing and it turns out to be one of Alex's work ties.

John's cock was definitely screaming for some attention now and his eyes light up when Alex is running back over to him. He's kneeling back on the bed, John shifts upwards so that he's in the middle and Alex climbs over him, straddling John.

"Daddy?" John says. The obvious question of what happens next lingering in his voice. Alex knows what John is asking and he's biting his lip at him.

"Gimme your hands," Alex instructed. "C'mon baby boy, you wanted Daddy to fuck you. So this is what we're gonna do, you're going to be good as gold, lie here, while Daddy takes care of you. Got it?"

They hadn't done this before. But John wanted to try it. He's giving Alex his hands and just as Alex takes them, he's about to slide the tie around John's wrists but John slips a hand out. Alex quickly looked over to John, panic stirring in his chest, he's worried incase John's changed his mind and then he sees John lay there with this naughty smile.

"You're a little shit" Alex huffed, his eyes squinting. "Hand, now."

John giggled. "Fine, here, Daddy" And he's giving Alex back his hand.

Alex looked over to John, staring into his eyes to see if John's planning to trick him again. Just as he suspected, John moves his hand out of Alex's grasp and he's moving it around teasingly. It ends with John flicking Alex on the end of his nose and Alex wincing.

"You're so bad!" Alex growled.

John pulled his tongue. Alex let out a 'tsk' in disapproval.

"That's it, I've had it. Fine, you want to be fucked. Got it."

"Ooh" John giggled.

With the tie being discarded, tossed aside, Alex is shoving down John's sweats and with the help of John kicking them off at the ends of his feet. He can finally open his thighs wider for Alex to sink into between them.

Alex didn't look best pleased with him, he's narrowing his eyes still at John and he's slipping off his own sweats. "You think you can play games, hm? Such a bad boy. Fucking worst, you are. You won't be laughing in a moment."

John chuckled at Alex's threat. "So scared Daddy!" As he continued to laugh, Alex sunk down to John's level there on the bed, he's got his lips by John's ear. He's breathily huskily down it, nibbling a little roughly on John's earlobe. He knew John loved it, John released a little moan as he did.

"Best be," Alex whispered, he's still continuing to slip off his sweats and he's discarded them on the floor using his feet. His boxers were the next to go.

John is nudging a thigh into Alex's side as Alex was busy getting rid of his boxers. "You really need to work on how you discipline me Daddy" John says.

"Oh yeah?" Alex said, right into John's ear and his hot breath makes John's insides quiver.

"Yeah" John repeated in almost a moan. "Cos, I can do what I want"

Alex let out a breathy laugh. John caught another one of those chills, he had to hitch up his shoulder to rub at the back of his ear. It tickled too much.

Then things changed, John didn't expect it to be so swift when Alex caught him off guard. John's wrists were taken before the blink of an eye, Alex had them tightly, there in his hand just above John's head. John didn't try to fight him off either, he's trying to look up at his bound hands. Which isn't really possible since Alex has him in a firm place and so then John's looking up at Alex.

Alex who's staring him down. John feels the butterflies in his belly whirl.

He was so in for it.

"Don't tell me, ever, that I can't tell you what to do. When you know who's in control." Alex sternly says. John was taken aback just how serious and stone-cold Alex sounded. He meant it and this was it.

John felt himself 'gulp' in a mixture of fear and excitement. Mostly excitement.

"Understood?"

A nod.

"Speak"

Another nod but John says, "Yes, Daddy."

Alex's furrow softened. "Good boy"

His praise made the feel of Alex's hot breath sent a wave of chills up John's spine. God it felt good.

John issued a slight gasp, as Alex leaned in and gently teased his earlobe with his teeth. Alex then began trailing light nips down the side of his neck. Alex licked across his collarbone. "Nn, mm, Daddy" John mewled.

Alex raised his head and looked into John's hazy hazel eyes. His hand tightens on John's wrists. Leaning down Alex buried his mouth beneath John's own.

John was overwhelmed by the passion of the kiss and rather than fighting, opened himself up. He felt Alex tongue slick against his own. John couldn't help but moaning. He tried to suck Alex's tongue back into him as the Alex disengaged.

With a quick drill of Alex's salvia slicked fingers into John's hole, he scissored him up for a quick prep and Alex was fumbling with his pulsing cock against it. "You're tighter than last time, fuck." Alex mutters with a small chuckle. "Daddy can't wait to fuck you senseless, baby. Goddamn, amazing, you really are. When you're not giving Daddy lip." And Alex flickers his eyes back up to John sharply.

John is a flustered mess. He's waiting, oh god. So impatiently too. "Daddy, now!"

As Alex was about to slip into John, he withdraws his cock and he's gripping John's wrists that bit tighter. "What did I say?"

A small heave deflated from John. He tries not to roll his eyes, anymore misbehaving and he knew he wouldn't be getting any dick tonight. "Not to answer back..." John mumbled sorely.

"No, kitten. What did I say after that?" Alex meanly slaps John's hole with the tip of his cock. He's smirking at the sight of John's hole twitching.

"Daddy makes the rules" John mutters. "Daddy is in charge"

A nod off Alex, it was quite condescending. "That's right, Daddy makes the rules. Good." Alex said. "Now keep still"

John whimpered when Alex's fingers were inside him again. Stretching and fingering him good. John let out a cry when Alex pressed again his tender spot. Just to be an ass, Alex pressed it again and was grinning at John's desperation. "I could've fucked you sooner, baby doll. But you had to be difficult for Daddy, didn't you? So now, you've gotta wait." Alex chuckled. "Let me play with you... just a bit more."

So John bared it and allowed Alex to remain fingering him, stretching him wide. His fingers, in and out. Eventually when Alex thought John was widened enough for his liking, he got back up on his knees and shuffled closer in to John. Alex had to change hands on his grip over John's wrists since his hand started to ache.

Then Alex grasped his cock and John shuddered as Alex slid his saliva-slicked cock into him in one achingly slow but fluid push. Alex was too inflamed to slide in in increments.

John, bit back a gasp. He was always amazed by the strength of the sensation of being filled by his daddies, and of Alex's searing heat. It was just like the first time, John recalled, it felt magical and amazing. Alex filling him up, that slight burn when he pressed himself into him and then once Alex was in him, he felt at ease. Stuffed, fulfilled and in bliss.

Now that Alex was ensconced fully in his John's hole, Alex seemed to calm a bit. He grasped one of John's hips pulling him tighter into him. He marveled at the loveliness of John's cock and balls there on show below him. Alex began moving his hips in slow deep thrusts.

Well that did it for John. Alex's girth hitting him on all angle and once it budged on that spot. John's eyes were fluttering, his breaths were ragged and filling up the room. "D-Daddy" John moaned. "Fuck"

Alex started off slow, leaning up his head, closing his eyes for a second before tucking his head back down as he's pounding right into John there. John's toes are curled in his socks and he's wrapping his legs around Alex again. "Ah, fuck, nn!"

"Shit" Alex spluttered. "Feel like heaven, christ. Yes, you like that, huh?" His hands firmed more over John's wrists, when John was about to slip out of his grasp. Mostly so he could try gripping at the sheets but Alex kept him right down in place. "Cutest little slut, you are." Alex plunged into him faster. "Your ass, it's Daddy's. Only Daddy's. Not Papa's, this ass, mine." Alex grunted. "It belongs to me"

"Yours, yes yours!" John gasped out. "Shit, more, Daddy, faster!" John's bending his head back. His insides were on literal fire, his ass felt like it was going to split open. Alex resumed and went harsher in his thrusting. Each spurt causing John to go that extra bit light-headed. "Ah!"

Alex was lost in his own pleasure. "Gorgeous" He mutters out, almost in a growl. It turns John on that bit more. Alex uses his free hand to balance himself there as he's leant over John. "Fuck"

"Daddy" John gasped aloud, Alex thrusted further into him and John's eyes were rolling backwards. Alex's girth rattled every fibre of his body, John could feel his heart melt away, along with his soul and he was on another realm at this point. "Daddy, oh god. More, fuck, more!" John rasped needly.

"Love you like this," Alex panted.

He bucked into John again, then again and again, each time he did, John moaned shamelessly. His back arched as he did, Alex tightened the grip he had over John's quivering wrists.

He could see the inner muscle of John's thigh right under him, they tightened every time Alex pelted himself into John. "Love seeing you all hot and bothered, baby. Fuckin' gorgeous, you are, god, you really are. Cutest little thing, with the sweetest little cunt. Love it."

"More, Daddy, need you, need you, more!" John cried.

Then Alex pounded into him that extra bit more, mercilessly, ramming right into John. "Feel fuckin' amazing, fuck, baby boy. Fucking blasphemous the way you make my cock feel. "

John writhed in passion beneath him, pushing back to meet each plunge.

As Alex continued his rhythm, he moved his free hand down to take hold of John's dripping erection. His fingers grazed its sensitive tip; he used John's own fluids to grease its length; he began stoking it in time with his own movements. "Daddy!" John wailed. "Shit" and Alex jittered his hips into John. Almost in a buzzing fashion before going back to rutting into him fiercly.

Each thrust was hellish. Harsh and Alex paid no mind to John's squeals of passion. He was lost in his own pleasured space. Too far gone and in bliss. John could feel tears pelt up in the corners of his eyes, it's too much, the feeling of this greatness had his entire body on fire. He can feel his senses go murky as this happened.

"Daddy..." John moaned. "God, fuck. More. Harder."

But he wanted Alex to keep going and that Alex did.

As they went at it even more the sound of the door opening caught their attention and Alex's head whipped around first. John caught on second.

Lafayette stood there in the door way blinking at the scene before him.

John's heart halted when he's looking directly into Lafayette's eyes. Alex is stiff as a board.

"Oh, you're home now." Alex says, calm as ever. His voice is slightly raspy and he clears his throat.

John feels like the whole world has stopped on the other hand. Lafayette is still batting his eyes lids at the pair of them, dazed. "Hey babe"

This didn't seem to bother Alex though because in seconds he's whipping his head back around to John, he's continuing his thrusts and Lafayette with a blank face, quietly shuts the door.

Once the door is closed, John pays no mind to the pounding in his ass, the loud squelching of slaps that start to fill up the room again and he's looking over to the door. Alex is still pumping inside of him and he's shameless about it too. John swats Alex on the shoulder and Alex re-opened his eyes.

"Wait" John mutters. "Wait - holy fuck. Alex wait."

Instantly Alex stops and he's looking down at John. "You okay, honey?"

John is looking to the door and back up at Alex with his jaw hanging.

"Are you serious?" John spat in shock. Alex cocks his head and Alex's confusion just irritated John. "Lafayette is home!"

Alex sat up and he lets go of John's wrists. "I know, so?"

"He's just caught us fucking!" John stammered out. He couldn't believe how chill Alex was about the whole thing. "Doesn't that bother you?!"

Regardless of his shock, Alex didn't look moved at all. He's taking out his hair-tie and allowing his shaggy brown locks to fall down. Alex fingers at his hair, snagging out any knots. He's looking at John as he does. "No" Alex said with a shrug.

He's goes back to taking his hair-tie and re-tying it into a tighter bun. "We're both dating you, sweetie. You're our boyfriend."

"That's not the point, he's your husband" John stresses. His cock was still aching and John is annoyed that he didn't get to finish, his orgasm now fading by the minute. But this was more important. "You should go talk to him"

Alex gives John a quick kiss on the lips. "He understands, it's fine. Honey, we don't mind."

"How do you know?" John sighed. He felt awful.

"We've had a discussion about it, so don't worry. If anything Laf probably wants in on this," Alex says smirking, John is shaking his head at him. "He does! We would love to have a three-way with you, honey. But..."

"But what?"

Alex is indecisive on whether he should pull out or not. John didn't look as if he were in the mood to continue. He's brushing a few of the curls out of John's face and behind his reddened ear. "We're not sure if you want to," Alex told him. "We gotta want the same thing, otherwise, we leave it at that."

John's cheek pop into a nice warm pink and he's shifting his gaze away from Alex's big eyes. "It isn't that I don't want to, I do." John tells him. Alex's face lit up as he did. "I guess I'm just nervous"

At that Alex makes an 'aw' and he's giving John scalp a quick tousle. "Why are you nervous?!"

"The two of you, at _once_." John snickered. "Fuck, Alex. I can just about manage each of you at a time" Alex's brow rose and he's biting his lip. "But really, I just, I don't know."

Alex hummed. "Well, if it's something you want to try, you let us know." John nodded, the mood now awkward and he's drumming his fingers there on the crumpled sheets. "Uh, Alex, you pull out"

"You don't wanna finish?"

John swats Alex on his thigh and he's shuffling out of Alex's cock from inside him. "No" John mumbled. "But you can suck me off?"

Since that was where they were officially going to draw the line tonight. Alex shrugged his shoulders and got to work on John. A quick blow job and a hand-job for Alex. That was them done.

John felt incredibly awkward after they had finished getting each other off for the second time that evening and went for a quick shower without Alex.

Although Alex had offered to jump in with him, to sort John out since his poor backside was covered in welds from their spanking session. But John waved him off, cut Alex off short and left the room without giving him a second glance.

So with that, Alex left John to it, threw his sweats back on and left the bedroom to go see his husband.

 

 

* * *

 

 

After that night John had been rocky with Alex and Lafayette. It wasn't that he didn't want to see them but John felt embarrassed. Whenever they text him or called him, John constantly felt shy or the confidence he thought he had just drip away from him.

It had been a good four days into the week and John hadn't been over at theirs. Lafayette had called John here and there when he was on his breaks at work to ask if where he would like to go on their next date. Lafayette was an amazing man, John went to mush every time they spent time together but he couldn't help but feel guilt and freak out whenever they spoke on the phone.

Lafayette didn't mention what he had seen there in his bedroom with his husband on top of John, rutting away like a horny dog on a bitch in heat. Not once. Lafayette spoke to him like he didn't even know, as if it hadn't existed. He wasn't bothered.

As for Alex, Alex had texted and rang him over those four days. John was hesitant to answer half the time since he knew what Alex would say to him. So John mostly text him back rather than talk to him properly.

 

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

Baby boy everything okay? You've been super quiet lately... 

 

**From: You, To: **Daddy** :**

 

Yeah, everything is cool Daddy

 

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

You sure? Daddy worries 

 

**From: You, To: **Daddy** :**

 

Promise XOXO

 

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

 

Okay. Well, come on over when you want honey. Daddy and Papa miss youuuuuuu <3 XOXOXOXOXO

 

 

It was friday when John decided to make an appearance over at Alex and Lafayette's place. He hadn't told them he was coming over either. John decided to make it a surprise since he hadn't seen them all week. With the courage he had gathered and a nice excuse to was going to use on them when they asked where the fuck he'd been to boot.

John grabbed the subway, his overnight backpack and he's trekking up to their complex. He gives his usual smile to the doorman, waits for the elevator and up there he goes. Usual floor and John is grabbing out his gifted key card. A swat on the lock and the door is open.

It's dark in the living room and the first thing John thinks is that both of them are out. The little lamp on the other side of the room was on and the oven's hood light was on to give the kitchen some glow.

John plops his backpack on the floor by the sofa and he's about to slip off his jacket. He's already slipping his trusty green scarf off. He tosses it over the arm of the sofa and when John does, he's about to grab out his phone to give Lafayette a quick call asking where they were. 

That was when a certain noise caught John's attention.

John furrows his brow and he's walking around there in the living room. He wanders over to the kitchen counter to look around - nothing. He's looking to the dining area, still nothing. 

He thinks nothing of it and leans against the countertop. John grabs out his phone and he's waiting for the stupid thing to turn on. 

 

 

 

 

"Fuck!" 

 

 

John's gut dropped.

 

 

 

  
  
"Ah!" 

 

 

 

Now that sounded familiar.

 

 

 

 

"Yes! Ah!" 

 

 

 

John's eyes were wide as saucers and he's slowly turning his head to the direction of the bedroom. A lump is already resting at the back of John's throat and his hands have gone shaky. He already knows what's going on.

 

 

 

"Yes - fuck! Mph!"

 

 

 

 

They were home.

 

 

John's leg were jelly and he's slipping his phone back into his jeans. He didn't know why he did, it was silly to go over but John was anyway. His legs automatically took him over to the door of Alex and Lafayette's bedroom. John's hands were clammy, he could feel himself break inside and he's jittering. 

The door was open only slightly, a tiny little bit. John closed his eyes for a second before he slowly mooched close enough to peer through, his breath was ragged as he did and he's shakily heaving a short breath. He's holding on the woodwork of the door frame for balance and he's peaking through.

 

 

 

  
"Shit!" 

 

  
  
That was definitely Alex. 

 

 

  
As John looked through the small opening of the door he has to open it a little bit just to make a fuller picture for himself. His heart flips and almost breaks at the scene before him. He's watching the pair of them. Lafayette mercilessly thrusting into Alex who was there on top of him, riding him like no tomorrow and holding the headboard like his life depended on it. The headboard was slamming into the wall at top speed and the mattress was creaking crazily. 

He had never seen them fuck before. This was the first time, to witness it and John feels sick. He knows they're married - he knew that. He's seen them both kiss before today, make out and heard the hushed little 'I love you' between them, in English and in French. It was sweet, their love for each other, precious and tender. Both evidently besotted in each other. Still in love after a decade. 

But to see this, Alex, his Daddy, riding another man, well, his Papa and them just going it at. John didn't know what to think. It strangely turns him on, he can feel himself bite against his bottom lip and his cock awakened. Still it made John feel ill, his stomach was swirling with jealously, anger and a whole combination of other emotions he couldn't control. His fingernails were baring into the door frame and his other hand was balled into a fist. 

Alex bobbing up and down there on Lafayette's thick cock, seeing the movement and passion between them. Lafayette's biting and kissing away on Alex's neck. Alex not caring about how loud he was being. Them just loving one another. 

John dropped his gaze down for a moment, he could feel the tears sting in the corners of his eyes and he knew it was stupid to cry. Especially now, at a time like this. Watching his boyfriends fuck. He felt stupid, ridiculous.   
  
"I'm so stupid" John murmured to only himself. He's trying not to cry. His gut was aching. Everything hurt like hell.

He couldn't watch anymore of this shit. 

John was about to pull away and call it a day. But then he hears the pair of them slow down their paces, John's eyes dart back to them, Alex is taking a moment to just rest, he's panting heavily and Lafayette is soothing Alex by the sides. They have one last kiss together before Lafayette breaks the silence with a breathy laugh.

 

 

"Do you feel better now, Mon amour?"

 

 

Alex nodded, he's trying to keep a float there on Lafayette's cock and he's shaking his arms out from holding on the headboard for too long. John's eyes narrow, they had probably been fucking for ages.

 

 

"Fuck, god, yeah." Alex heaves and chuckles a little with his husband. "Hate being pent up this long, it's shit. But what can I do, huh? If he's not up for it, can't force him."

 

 

Lafayette gives Alex a little pat on his ass cheek, it quivered as he did and Alex begins to lift himself up slightly, he's grabbing Lafayette's cock and shoving it back inside him as he sank down. John could feel the tears. They were on the horizon, almost ready to fall and he's trying - so much.

 

 

 

"Alexander, you know he may still be in shock." Lafayette tells Alex, he sighs and he's playing with Alex's hair. It's out nesting there on his shoulders.  

 

 

 

John's balled fist clenched that extra bit more. Alex never had his out whenever they fucked and said he hated it down. John hated how the smallest of things pissed him off. 

 

 

 

"I know, babe." Alex said glumly. "I just wish the kid wouldn't lock himself away - you do know that is why he's not been over all week. Right?" 

 

 

 

  
Wait.

 

 

 

What did Alex just call him? 

 

  
  
  
A 'kid'. 

 

 

 

Well that just cut right through his heart.

 

 

 

 

John's breath hitched and the tears were streaming down his cheeks.

 

 

 

 

He couldn't stay, nope. 

 

 

 

With that John is running from the door and he's grabbing his scarf from the sofa, flinging it back around his neck, sniffling as he did. John did his best to be quiet and he's got his jacket. The last thing John gets is his backpack from the floor. He's out of here. 

John didn't care about the slam the door made on his way out either. He was running up to the elevator and practically stabbing at the button. He's waiting, tears streaming down his cheeks and he's crying his eyes out. Rubbing away the tears with the arm of his jacket, his breathing was erratic and god he's just angry. He wasn't a fucking 'kid'. 

His eyes sprang open a second time that night when John heard their front door open and John was running down the stairs instead. Fuck the elevator. 

He's running down the stairs, John was certain he had missed a couple of the steps on the way down. It was a blessing he hadn't tripped over and snapped his neck. John bolted past the door man, didn't say goodbye like he usually did and he was running out into the night. 

 

For the second time in his life he was running away from those he loved. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEAH SO... UH.
> 
> Well that was awkward, huh? 
> 
> DON'T WORRY IT ISN'T THE END OF THEM! TRUST. 
> 
> It don't end here between them guys! But poor John, he's so confused. UGH.
> 
> Thank you all so much for the comments and support! It means a lot to me <3


	16. SHATTERED

John kept away from Alex and Lafayette for another week.

He had been in touch with them and told them both he hadn't been feeling well at all. John lied and said he caught the flu, it was winter after all and plenty of nasty shit was spreading around his campus. John liked to think he could get away with his lie.

Alex sounded as if he believed him, he bought it. Then Alex told John he and Lafayette could come over, pick him up, they would look after him at their place. John refused and said he didn't want them to get sick.

Lafayette didn't sound all that convinced. He had gone completely quiet when John told him about his so-called 'flu bug'.

John knew that Lafayette knew. Lafayette always did that thing, pulled a completely blank face and went quiet when he was aware someone was spitting out bullshit. But he didn't comment on the matter, left John to it and told John to get better soon.

Just when John thought their pestering was over during the middle of the week, Lafayette called John and asked him during their conversation if he was truly okay. John asked why he was asking and Lafayette said that he thought John may have popped over the other night. John's heart stopped, he suspected Alex and Lafayette knew what John had seen, caught them doing.

Again John played it off and told him 'nope'. Another lie.

John knew it wasn't a big deal since it was just sex, they were married and hell, John had bedded them both before today. Lafayette had even caught Alex and him in the act the other week. But to John, he just felt so ashamed, jealous, embarrassed. Overall stupid.

 _"As if they would ever let you in,"_ John thought to himself bitterly. _"They're married, they've been together for a decade. Even if Lafayette said he and Alex loved you, it doesn't matter. You're their fuck toy. Nothing more, nothing else."_

It was stupid to think about it and John hated thinking about what he had seen, pondering on his thought during his shift at Lava Java. Hercules had to tell him for the fifth time that day to keep up on the orders, to stop staring into space and Herc was never like this with John. Then during the afternoon John was so dazed and miserable that he had dropped someone's latte, right there on the floor and it was heaving busy too. Everyone in store for their Christmas drinks.

John had welled up with tears and apologised to whoever it was he was serving. The manager told John to get in the back and calm down. John had a panic attack, Hercules was there by his side trying to calm John down. In the end John had to leave early after his attack and take the day off.

Herc said he didn't mind covering and that he would text John later. John thanked him, a quick side hug, something John never really did but he really appreciated Hercules being there for him, especially right now when he felt like everything was going to shit.

So John grabbed his gear and left. He didn't miss the cold, hard, stare from his manager when he did and some of the customers were staring at him as he fled around the counter then out the door. John threw up his hood once he left and jogged on off. Another batch of tears at the ready, his nose bright red and he's sniffling, trying to keep it together in the busy public.

The Christmas crowds didn't help whatsoever and John had to take a taxi back to his dorm. There was no way he could hoard himself on the subway feeling the way he did. Sick, rough, confused, shaky and achy.

 

All he could think was, _"They're using you, they don't love you, you're their little play thing. Their slut. These powerful, grown men, all they see you as is a delusional little boy who will do anything for a pay out."_

 

 

John's lips were wavering and he's rubbing his eyes with the tip of his thumb. Batting away some of the wool from his hoody he did.

 

 

_"You're their own personal slut, Laurens. Your asshole is now your piggy bank, each time they pound it, the money keeps rolling on in. Not love. You fucking fool."_

 

 

When John got back to his dorm he's shrugging off his coat, flinging it over his chair and doesn't even bother to pick up his backpack. He needed a moment alone, to sit there on the edge of his bed and just think. Process everything.

 

 

 _"You really should get out before you get burnt"_ He thinks. _"Leave them before you get hurt, again."_

 

 

John inhaled a ragged breath and he's snatching the pillow off the top of his bed. He's squeezing it for a moment just to cry into it, to sort himself out and balance his feelings. Then John is viciously punching the fucking thing. Pelting the cushion as if it were his own worries, his fears. All the bad shit.

Once he's done John cries into it again and he's gripping the back of it. Bringing it closely into him while he sniffled yet another squealed pained sob.

 

 

"I've got to do it" He murmured aloud.

 

 

"I have to... I have to."

 

 

It didn't help that John spent the rest of the night ignoring his coursework for college, paying Alex and Lafayette's texts no mind and lay there on his back, miserable until the sun had gone down, staring at pictures of them all on his phone. If it wasn't Peggy, Ange and Eliza John was stewing over. He was looking at pictures of Alex, him and Lafayette taken over the past year.

John sighs, he looks up at the sky out his window and it's now dark.

His stomach was rumbling, John couldn't muster up the energy to even cook so he's ordering Dominos on the app. It should be here within half an hour apparently. Surely a large Hawaiian, chocolate brownie ice cream and wings accompanied with chilli sauce would help.

Somewhat at least, or he hoped it would.

During that evening John was fumbling around on his phone, too lost in his own misery and thoughts to really take in the video he was watching on Facebook. Just then Henry's caller ID popped up. John immediately sighed heavily, he's contemplating on picking up since the last time him and his brother spoke it had been nothing but verbal abuse.

John was far from in the mood to dealing with him. His little brother never bothered with him much back when he was at home. So why now did he have to bother the living daylights out of him. Things were hard but that was life. John was tired of picking up the pieces.

"Fuck it" He mutters and pressed the 'accept' button.

As soon as he did John barely even had time to asked what Henry wanted because he was overrun with frantic breathing and ragged breaths. John sat up on his bed, his brow knit together and he's frowning into space.

 

 

"Henry?" John said.

 

"Henry? You there?"

 

 

"John" Henry said down the line.

 

 

"You need to come home"

 

 

John felt his stomach tie in knots.

 

 

Something was wrong.

 

 

"What's happened?"

 

 

He could hear Henry sniffling and sobbing. John's heart was booming in his chest. "Henry? Talk, what's happened?"

 

 

"It's Martha"

 

 

Fuck.

 

 

This wasn't good.

 

 

The first thing John thought was 'What has she done?' and then it hit him, it was her cutting. She was cutting again.

 

 

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

 

 

"She cut herself, she's gone deep this time and she's lightheaded!" Henry wails. "I've called an ambulance, they're on the way now!"

John is groaning aloud and shaking his head. "Jesus, Henry, you couldn't just drive her?!"

"I freaked!" Henry cried. "John, I'm scared! She's fucking all over the place!"

He was scared. John knew Henry had never dealt with this before. Hearing his younger brother like this was heart breaking enough alone. 

"Henry..." 

"I've never seen her this bad before!" Henry sobbed. "I can't believe she would do this!"

John scowled. "She's been doing it recently?"

"Yes!" Henry shouts. John shook his head to himself. "It got worse when you left! You were the only one who could stop her from hurting herself! She tried, she really did. She misses you! We all do!"

Trust Henry to tell him all of this now, at a time like this. Great.

"You didn't think to tell me! For fuck sake, Henry!" John feels the anger bubble.

"I thought she told you!" Henry shouted. "She tells you everything! You're both so buddy-buddy! You ought to know!"

"Well she didn't!" John shouted right back. He was getting tired of Henry's tone. "It isn't my fault! Don't even try to blame me!"

"You weren't exactly there for her! You're here for none of us anymore!" Henry hissed.

 

 

John's heart sank.

 

 

 

"All you think about is yourself, in your new amazing life, up there, in New York!" Henry spat out. John's biting the corners of his lip, nibbling at the dead skin, he felt nothing but guilt devour him.

"I've said it before but you're so selfish! You barely call us anymore, you stopped calling Martha. She felt alone. You couldn't even pick up the damn phone!"

It was true.

John's adams apple bobbed as he's taking in the truth. His brother was right. He had lost sight on a lot of things.

"I don't know what you're doing up there, but it can't be as important as family, can it?" Henry says weakly. "I know dad is an asshole. He's like that to us all! I know what he tried to do to you was wrong, I get that. I _saw_ that. Remember?"

John's holding back a sob of his own. His face crumpled up and he's fighting back the tears.

At this John's own breathing was becoming ragged, his mind was fogged up and his fingers were shaking.

His whole body was in panic mode. John knew there would come a day when she would do this again and it would end in tears. He knew it. Yet he had left her anyway.

"I know" John admits. "I know, Henry."

John closes his eyes for a second and he's taking in a deep breath. Calmly he says, "Where's dad? Mary, James, where are they?"

"I'm with Martha in the bathroom, Mary is with James at the front door, they're waiting for the paramedics." Henry sniffled. "Dad's on his way home"

"Right, right. Good." John said firmly. "You stay with her, keep her arm tied up, don't stop applying pressure, keep talking to her, keep her conscious"

He didn't want to imagine Martha there on the bathroom tiled floor bleeding out. Drifting in and out of her mind. His younger siblings terrified for their own lives whether she was going to live or die.

John's aggressively raking a hang through his mane of curls, he's trying not to cry. He has to be strong here, despite his recent unpleasant affair with Henry.

 

He had to be the big brother.

 

 

"Henry, you're doing well." John told him. He hears Henry sniffle and cry down the line. He's scared, John knows that. So was he though. "Keep doing what you're doing. You did the right thing, kay?" John added softly. 

John shakily got up off the bed and he was bounding over to his laptop, ripping the thing out of his charger wire and staggering backwards, sitting back on his bed. He's waiting for the fucking thing to load up. John had to get back home.

"Are you coming home?" Henry meekly asked. "We need you, John. We really, really need you."

Although Henry couldn't see, John was nodding along. "Yeah, I'm booking a flight now, I'm coming home, I promise. Alright? Soon as I can."

After another promise and telling Henry what to do, their call ends.

 

 

John put his face in his hands and he's looking up to the ceiling. Tears finally spill.

 

 

 

This day really couldn't get any worse.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

With the worry of Martha on his mind, John has a flight at the ready. But it isn't until Sunday. Christmas season is fully booked and John wasn't able to get a flight right away back home. Of course there was always car hire but he didn't feel up to a long, long ass road trip and driving all the way home. Not in this snow and breakdowns were more prone than ever.

There was always coaches but again it would take too long. John informed Henry about this and told him he would be with them all Sunday. Martha was already in hospital and she was pulling through thankfully.

John hadn't told Alex or Lafayette about Martha though or the fact that he needed to leave soon. It wasn't their business at the end of the day and John honestly didn't want to worry them. He didn't want them getting involved or for his family to find out about the pair of them.

The last thing John needed on top of an awkward face to face reunion with his bastard father was his two sugar daddies tagging along too. Then John recalled what Alex said about his father and how Alex wanted to throttle him, then and there for trying to stab John.

 

 

He didn't need it.

 

 

The next time John sees Lafayette and Alex it's on Saturday evening.

They both demanded John get his ass over since they decided to do a nice big meal. John hesitantly went over, he wasn't up to it at all and Martha was on his mind. She was all he could focus on.

It was Taco night with all the dips, breads, spicy chicken, some good wine in and beers. But really it was a celebration on Lafayette making some massive profit at work, the company were all proud of him and he was in high spirits. Alex had told John this on the side, telling him 'Baby boy, Papa would appreciate it if you came over and congratulated him' and so John did. He felt shitty if he didn't. So for the sake of keeping Lafayette cheerful, John went.

When he got over John handed Lafayette a nice bottle of champagne, it came in the prettiest shiny gold gift bag with the bow and trimmings. John had it packaged up nicely in store before jetting over to theirs. It was last minute but it was something.

John thought fuck it and got Alex some red while he was in the wine shop too. Both his daddies seemed grateful and satisfied. John received bear-hugs and kisses after that.

After a whopping great big dinner, John hardly saying anything all evening, Lafayette and Alex mostly talking, shooting him worried glances, they continued on with their evening.

As they were sitting around drinking at the kitchen breakfast bar. John washed up since Lafayette cooked and Alex was pouring them more glasses of wine.

Lafayette was sat on top of one of the counters, he was all smiles tonight, smug and joyous over his little victory at work. Alex paid more attention to his husband that evening, John noticed, it was silly to think too much of it since this evening was mostly about Lafayette. But still.

Alex was sat on one of the stools, he's playfully pattering his hands on his husband's knees and looking up at him with this oozing sickly smile. They're talking about something that happened with one of their friends, Alex howling with laughter over Lafayette's bitchy impersonation he's doing. It always surprised John just how crazy, different and extrovert Lafayette was when he had downed a drink or two. The man was a riot. Hilarious.

But this was hardly the time for shits and giggles. John's thinking about his flight tomorrow, he still had to get home and pack a bag. His projects were due for marking over the holidays and John hadn't remembered to even call in work. He could always do that in the morning though before leaving.

Then Alex and Lafayette changed their topic. John was staying out of whatever it was they were hissy-fitting about anyway. He's gone back to washing the plates, taking a mouthful of his bottle of beer and starts to dry everything. As he did, Alex darted his eyes from Lafayette to John, he's got this hazy look in his eyes and dazed smile.

"Honey" Alex called. John looked up at him. "Leave those, come."

Lafayette turns there on the counter, he's got his glass of him and making hand gestures at John. "Ah, yes, Mon cherie, come join us!"

"I'm almost done, give me a sec -" John said.

Alex made a huff and pouts playfully at John. He's grabbing a couple of chips from the snack bowls laid out and firing them at John's head. Lafayette snorts as he does this and backhands Alex on his shoulder.

"Alex!" John cried, the chips had landed in the sink, all soggy with the bubbled water.

He's glaring at Alex. "Do you have to do that..." John hissed. He wasn't in the mood for all this shit.

Lafayette scowls at Alex although he's smirking himself. Alex just laughed. "Yes, Alexander, do not be so childish!"

"Oh please" Alex snorts. "Why do I get blamed for everything! It was Laf, honey, he's throwing them at you!"

John arched a brow up at Alex and such an unimpressed expression. Lafayette swatted Alex again.

"As if I would do such a thing!" Lafayette cries. He's so loud, John winces as he's shouting. John's head was still tender from crying earlier in the day, he's got a pounding headache and these two weren't helping.

Lafayette was a whole new being. Lafayette turns to John saying, "It wasn't me!"

"I know, Laf -" John casts Lafayette a small smile and then he flickered his eyes to Alex. Alex who's got this devious look on his face and shit-eating grin. "I know"

Then Lafayette is turning himself there on the counter, his long legs kick around as he does. He's placing his wine glass down. "Mon petit, me and Alexander have missed you, it hasn't been the same without you here." He tells John. John's fingers are squeezing the dish rag. If only they knew why. "Are you feeling better now?"

Alex is swirling on his chair, his hands supporting his cheek with his elbows flat on the counter.

"Yeah" John said. "I'm alright now" But John avoids eye contact. Lafayette and Alex look to each other then back at John.

"You're not avoiding us, are you, hun?" Alex asks. Lafayette budged Alex in his shin, Alex gave Lafayette a cut look before turning back to John. "I mean, it's just, you've done this before to me. Cut me off, avoided me after I found out you and Laf fucked one another." John heaves a small breath. This shit again.

"Alexander" Lafayette griped. "Must you bring up old news?"

"Yeah, I must," Alex muttered. He's looking back to John now and John's quaking there behind the counter. "It's just that it's unusual for you not to be in touch. That's all. We just worry, that's all honey."

John places a dry plate on the counter by the oven. He's trying to keep it together. His hands are clamming up again.

"You would tell us if something was wrong, wouldn't you?" Lafayette asked.

When John looks at them all he can picture is Alex riding Lafayette, hard and heavy. The pair of them raw-dogging right there in that bedroom, on that bed. The same one John had been lay on with Alex plunging inside him, in and out.

Then there's Martha. Cold, her usual tanned skin paler, sickly and her arms bandaged in a hospital bed.

The thought of it all made John feel slightly sick. He's nodding at Lafayette's question but John's expression shown otherwise.

Alex watched him from over his wine glass as he's taking in a mouthful. Lafayette is staring at him with a worried look and he's turning to Alex. John turns back around on them and he's hurriedly putting the dishes away. John bites his lip as he's crouching down there, he's shoving away one of the pots. Silently cursing himself for making his irritation all that obvious.

To cheer up the mood Lafayette goes and sticks the TV on a music channel. It's blasting out some good nineties and eighties tunes. As soon as it's on, Alex bounces off with his drink into the living room. John stands up from the cupboard and he's grabbing a bottle of the opened wine. He darts his eyes over to Alex who's sneakily going up to his husband. Lafayette was busy fussing with the remote and playing with some new feature added on the TV.

John finds his eyes narrowing when he watches Alex stand behind Lafayette there, he's worming an arm around his torso and Alex rests his head on Lafayette's shoulder. They're rocking together gently. John's bitterly yanking a glass off the rack and pouring himself a glass.

He sees just how Alex laughs when Lafayette turns around and he's taking Alex by the waist. Both of them grinding together, talking in French and that besotted way they're looking into each other's eyes.

John rolls his own eyes when he's making a move out the kitchen and he's gone over to one of the bar stools, John takes a seat and gets out his phone instead. He can't bare watching them getting mushy with each other.

Rather than watch Alex and Lafayette prance around with each other there. John busies himself with chatting to a classmate on messenger. It distracts him up until Alex is howling with laughter when Lafayette is playfully mauling his neck. Alex was so ticklish, it was ridiculous. Alex was shouting for John to save him and they both ended up rolling on the sofa in fits of laughter.

John just sighs and he's glancing to the front door. He begins to wonder if he should stick around or just go home. Before John could decide on what his next move was, Alex is hopping up out of his husband's grasp.

"Enough, enough, now" Alex chuckled as he's getting up, Lafayette's slapping his ass as he's walking off. Alex casting him a dramatic shocked look with a gasp. Lafayette is making some crude growl. John can feel his patience with the pair of them wither away. He wants to leave.

Alex focuses his attention on John and he's strolling over to him. "You gonna cheer up?" He asked John.

John glances up at Alex from his phone and goes back to looking at it. Alex scowls when he does. "I'm fine" John says, he isn't. Alex knows he's not and Lafayette is on the sofa, hands up waving them around and he's singing along to some tune.

"Baby, you've been off with us all night. What's the matter? Alex sighed. He's leaning against the counter beside John. But John wasn't giving him anything, he's blatantly ignoring Alex. In the end Alex sharply inhales and he's yanking John's phone out his grasp. "John"

"Alex" John snapped and he's glaring at Alex. "Give it back!"

Instantly John kicks himself mentally. Alex looked completely taken aback. He didn't mean to sound so ratty. He's sighing and shaking his head, mostly at his own actions. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you. Alex, no it isn't you or Laf. I've just had a shit week." John lies. "Just tired, it's been a long day."

Reluctantly Alex hands John back his phone, he's glaring at him and nodding. John takes it and he can't meet Alex's accusing gaze. "You've been 'tired' for the past two weeks nearly." Alex tells him. John feels that jab and it hurts like needles sticking in him. Alex had caught on to his bullshit. "Me and Laf weren't born yesterday. If you didn't want to see us, you should have stayed home and left your attitude there with you too."

John shot his head up at Alex and he's giving Alex such a withering look. Alex stood there, leaning against the counter, bold as brass. He gives John a shrug, grabs one of the open bottles off the counter and takes a quick swig.

"Oh whatever" John huffed. He had nothing else to say. John knew he couldn't argue against Alex, that alone was a challenge in itself. One John wasn't mentally or emotionally ready for. Not right now.

Alex is tilting his head as he's staring at John. "Is it Laf?"

John frowns, "What about Laf?"

His mind wasn't really on Lafayette and Alex right now. Martha mattered more. Alex and Lafayette had taken up enough of John's time before today. Spending it all with them and ignoring his sister was the reason why she was in hospital.

"When he caught us, you still sore over that shit?" Alex asks, moodily.

A sigh from John, he shakes his head. "No" He tells Alex. This was stupid, he couldn't lie any longer. Alex raises his brow at John, he's waiting for a proper answer. John's eyes meet Alex's and John nods instead this time. "Yeah, I am. A little. Happy now?"

"Why?" Alex asked with a small laugh. "It's only Laf, he didn't care! He's over it. So why can't you do the same? Honestly, sweetie, I don't get you."

Lafayette was sitting up on the sofa and he's watching them both now.

"It's not easy for me to just be okay with it!" John hissed, he notices Lafayette there listening in on them and John rakes a hand through his head. Alex stands closer to John, he takes the end of John's pony-tail and plays with the curls.

"Christ" Alex sighs, he's doing his best to get through to him. John's guilt pelt up even more. "John, what is wrong? Tell me the truth"

Lafayette cast a glare at Alex. Alex looks to his husband when John is moping at the floor. Alex mouths "I'm trying!" and he shrugged at him.

"Mon petit, please, you must start to tell us what is going through your mind." Lafayette said, he's lowering the volume down on the TV. Only the mumbling of sounds could be heard. John felt like he was being pressured here. He was looking to Alex and Lafayette with such a pissed off face.

"Stop" John cut in. The memories of them together, flood in his mind again. "Stop! The pair of you!"

Alex frowns at John. "We're trying to help! Since you're being stubborn as fuck!"

 

 

 

That was it.

 

 

 

 

This was the turning point.

 

 

 

It was now or never with these two.

 

 

 

 

 

He's done.

 

 

 

 

John hops off the stool and he's clutching his phone with such force, it almost cracks.

He's glaring at both Alex and Lafayette as he does. Then he places his gaze solely on Alex. "Maybe if you stopped forcing it out of me, I'd tell you." John hissed. "But you never know when enough is, enough. You just push me all the fucking time!"

Alex looked John up and down in such a way.

He slams his bottle down, both of them are surprised the thing didn't shatter with the force it came down with on the side. Lafayette was shifting, getting ready incase all hell broke loose with them. It didn't help that Alex and John had drink in them either. They were both two ticking time bombs ready to explode. Staring at each other with the coldest glares. 

"John, Alexander," Lafayette cut in. But Alex stuck a hand up at Lafayette, hushing him. 

"You're hard work," Alex said to John, completely ignoring his husband. Lafayette did not look please with Alex. "John, I'm struggling here. I'm struggling."

John snorts, as he did, he's walking past Alex. "Well, don't let this _kid_ stop you from having a good time then."

 

 

It was like a pin dropped in a silent room.

 

 

Lafayette gasps and his eyes are wide.

He's looking to Alex. Alex looks to him and then he's firing his gaze back at John who's walking away.

"So you _were_ here the other night!" Alex cried. He scoffed, looks up to the ceiling and shakes his head in disbelief. "Knew it! I told you, Laf. I fucking said he was here!"

 

 

John didn't have to listen to this.

 

 

He didn't have the time for this shit. 

 

 

He's going over to the sofa where his jacket was and grabbing it. He says nothing to them though. Lafayette stands up this time and he's heading to John. "Mon petit, you heard us. Did you not?" John nods, miserably. "Oh, John. This is why... isn't it?"

 

 

Another nod from John.

 

 

Alex goes over to them and he's got a face like thunder. "Answer him!"

John rips his head to Alex and scowled. "And say what! Yes!" John looks to the pair of them, his hazel eyes brimmed with tears and anger.

He felt so overwhelmed with everything. John was sure he was going to burst soon from it all. "I heard you! Alright, I heard you both fucking! I wanted to surprise you by turning up, I wanted to just come and see you. Then I heard you both!" Alex's expression softens, he still looked miffed though.

Lafayette appeared looking more guilty though.

"I didn't know what to do! It just, I-I just, uh. You're married and I'm just the... Y'know." John stammered.

Alex cocked his head. "You're the what?" 

"Nothing" John said. 

Both Alex and Lafayette heaved a heavy sigh. 

"Mon petit, please, just tell us" Lafayette adds. 

 

 

 

 

But John can't tell them.

 

 

 

 

His feelings.

 

 

  
  
His love for them.

 

 

 

Martha.

 

"Laf please, drop it." John mumbled. He's starting to get uncomfortable now with them. All this pressure, it exhausted him. 

Alex however wasn't letting it go.

 Alex snaps though. "John, be clear. What do you want? What is scaring you so, fucking, bad about all of this?"  Alex rolls his eyes. "We're married, of course we fuck." 

Lafayette sighs. He's stressing a hand out at his husband. "Alexander, it is all so new to him. He is not used to us being intimate in bed together. Do not be mad at him."

"Don't be mad at him?!" Alex cried, with a false smile, it instantly vanishes though.

"Kinda hard not to be when he's not saying how he feels, runs away, avoids us. That, babe, _that_ makes me mad." He's slowly glancing over to John. John can feel Alex's gaze burn through him like lasers. He knows, he's fucked up again. Another dent in his relationship.

 

 

John is so tired of it. Keeping secrets that were walls which made him feel alone.

 

 

Then Alex and Lafayette are bickering. Most of it is in French and John has had it with them. He's sick of playing third-wheel. John watches them, Alex almost red in the face and Lafayette looking distressed as ever.

 

 

_"You've done this, slut. You're nothing but a home-wrecker, Laurens."_

 

 

 

Well, then, no more.

 

 

 

 

He's sick of them.

 

 

 

"That's it" John said, his voice no emotion, his expression void.

 

 

 

"I'm finished"

 

 

 

Now this caught their attention. Alex and Lafayette stop their arguing then they're worriedly looking over to John. Alex swallows thickly as he's taking in John's words still. He looked to Lafayette with wide, scared, eyes. Alex knows what this means, they've all messed up. Lafayette just looked confused more so than anything. 

 

"John?" Lafayette called softly.

Alex reaches a hand out to touch John there on his shoulder. As soon as he does, John shoves him away and he's batting Alex's hand from being anywhere near him.

"Get off" John hisses. Alex withdraws his hand like he had just been scalded.

Lafayette is looking from Alex to John again, he's knitting his brow with concern and waiting for what was to be said next.

Alex however is wide-eyed at John and his expression clearly offended. His baby never rejected him. "Jack, what -"

"No, no, stop." John practically growled as he's stabbing a finger in Alex's chest.  "Don't call me that!"

"Cherie, why are -" Lafayette tried but he was cut off by John too. 

John waved Lafayette off and he's dropping his gaze, frowning at the floor. "Lafayette, no, shut up."

Lafayette zipped up, he pulls a look of shock and doesn't say another word.

 

 

 

"Just shut fucking up!" John shouted at him. 

 

 

 

 

Alex however sees red, since he is completely the opposite of his husband. He won't let it slide just like that.

Alex is fiercely grabbing John by his upper arm, jolting him so that John looked up at him and Alex is scowling. He looked pissed, John had never seen Alex angry at him before. Not like this. This was full on rage. 

"Don't you _dare_ tell him to 'shut up'!" Alex barked.

John actually flinched him from Alex's sudden outburst. He can feel the heat of Alex's breath on him, smell of the wine from their, oh so wonderful evening that had now gone to shit. "Who do you think you're talking to!"

John looked to Alex's hand on his arm, he can feel just how Alex's hand tightened on him there and then. It was enough to probably bruise too.

Lafayette notices and sternly he says, "Alexander, let him go."

Although John does nothing to pry Alex off him, he just stares to the floor and to his phone in his hand. Thoughts of Henry's frantic sobs down the line and Martha.

 

 

 

God, Martha.

 

 

 

"No! I'm not having him talk to you like that!" Alex shouted at Lafayette. "It's so, damn, disrespectful!"

"Alexander if you must -" Lafayette tries. 

"No! Fuck that!" Alex snarled.

Lafayette looked like he was losing the world to live with his husband. He's trying to speak but Alex shuts him off. 

"Fucking no! I'm tired of him being like this! I'm tired of all the pussyfooting around!" Alex all but boomed. 

"We must be more understanding" Lafayette said over him.

Alex was having none of it.

"All we've ever been is good to him! We've treated him like a fucking king! I will not put up with this shit!" 

 

 

 

So that was it.

 

 

 

John smirked to himself. He's done it now. It was all crashing and burning.

 

 

 

Lafayette waves Alex off. He didn't look too bothered over John's comment since he could tell something was wrong with John. Lafayette is frowning at Alex and telling him to stop.

"I won't! No one speaks to you like that!"

Then John finds himself grabbing the hand Alex had on him, he's gritting his nails into Alex's hand as he does, Alex winces and John ripping it off of him. Alex tries to grab him again but John slips past him, bashing into Alex as he does just to be a mood.

Alex manages to grasp the neck of John's top, Lafayette is calling for Alex to leave him alone but Alex is hellbent on getting John to talk. "I've had enough!" Alex spat. "Get back here!" 

"No!" John shouted. 

"I'm not done with you!" Alex is tugging at him, John makes a pained 'ouch' from the neck of his shirt tugging on his neck. Lafayette is yanking on Alex's arm but Alex shrugged him off. 

"Get off me Alex!" John yelled. "I've nothing left to say to you!" 

"Oh, but, you do!" Alex snapped. He's got a firm grip on the tusk of John's shirt. He's so pissed. "Is this a game to you? Is this fun, John?"

"Alexander, stop!" Lafayette shouts.

"Start talking! Explain yourself! You keep doing this, making us go around in circles! It's driving us crazy!" Alex was louder than Lafayette though. John can feel more tears begin to brim.

 

 

 

He never wanted this.

 

 

 

 

Any of this.

 

 

 

 

"Fuck off Alex!" John bellowed. It shook the entire penthouse apartment. Lafayette's eyes were like planets. Alex looked as if he had been slapped. Then he goes back to narrowing his eyes and his hold on John tightened.

"What is _wrong_ with you?!" John was trying to pry off Alex as he was shouting at him. "One minute you're fine, you want to be with us, you're all smiles, you're fucking us both, you're _happy_ with us! I don't get it! Now you're being a dick!" Alex shouted back. "What the fuck! You keep messing us around! If you have something to say, say it!" 

"Alexander, stop!" Lafayette shouts. "You're going to hurt him!"

"Tell us what's wrong!" 

"Get off!"

John was trying his hardest to pull at Alex's wrist and the hold Alex had on John's top, it was causing it to split at the neck, tearing as he did. Lafayette tried to step in, he's trying to get Alex off John.

But Alex and John swivel away from Lafayette. They're dealing with this on their own. "Fucking let go" John mutters.

"Not until you fucking tell us!" Alex gritted out.

With some newfound strength, John yanks Alex hand away from him. "If you want to keep your hand, Alex, I suggest you don't touch me again." He can hear Alex scoff behind him, John makes no eye contact with him, either of them. He'll end up breaking down if he does. He's treating them so coldly, it was wrong.

"Oh, do show me" Alex snorted with his arms out. "If you're going to hit me, do it." Lafayette is stomping over to Alex muttering in French. 

 

 

But doesn't, John rolls his eyes, he has to get the fuck out of here before he goes mad and does end up doing something stupid.

 

 

 

Martha, Martha, Martha.

 

 

 

 

She's on his mind. He should have never left South Carolina.

 

 

 

 

 

Never.

 

 

 

 

"Alexander" Lafayette snaps. "Just leave him be! Now! It ends now!"

He's so done right now, John's mind wasn't in the right place. He was furious, broken, lost. Everything was just a mess.

Lafayette is going after Alex who is storming right after John. "The fuck do you think you're going -"

"Alexander" Lafayette hissed. "Leave it! How many times must I tell you!"

But Alex shook his head. He's looking over his shoulder at Lafayette angrily and shouting, "No! I'm not! I'm not letting this go!"

John is completely blocking them out, both of them are arguing. John doesn't care, he's getting out of here.

"Laf I'm sick of him making a joke out of us!" Alex bitched to his husband. Lafayette was running a hand stressfully through his hair, his curly puff a mess. Alex swirls his head back to John, narrowing his eyes even more at him when he realises John is leaving.

"Now he's bailing, great." Alex groaned.

John goes straight for the door way, he's grabbing his backpack, slipping into his sneakers and before he can leave, Alex is pouncing on his back nearly. John manages to fight Alex off him. It's hard because half of his foot is still in his sneaker and Alex had him by the arms, shaking him. It wasn't easy, Alex was bigger than him and he's shouting the odds about John 'fucking around with his marriage for fun' and 'playing with him'. John's more angry than sad at this point. 

Lafayette stepped in and managed to rip Alex off him completely. 

Then John whipped his head around, tears were at the ready and then he shouts back, "It's over!"

But before Alex could fire anymore word vomit and obscenities at him. Lafayette has already slammed the door right in Alex's face, holding his husband back as he did and John was already down those backstairs. Running at top speed out the complex nothing but with tears in his eyes and anguish in his heart.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

When John gets back to his dorm, he throws open the door and it makes a giant 'bang' against the wall. It's so late and John doesn't care if it's woken up his entire floor. Fuck them, fuck everything. 

John has to take a couple of minutes to calm himself. He's sat on his bed and breathing, in, out, in, out. Slowly. Fighting away the upcoming panic attacks that were bubbling. Luckily they didn't win.

But John couldn't stop the irritating vibrating coming from his phone. It's Alex and Lafayette. He didn't even need to check. John's glumly looking to his travel bag over by his closet, he should pack. He's got a flight in the morning. He couldn't be bothered though, not after that. His limbs were like jelly and where Alex grabbed him, it still hurt. Alex had never done that to him before, hurt him, intently. John's lips wavered when he remembered their fight. 

The thoughts of Martha, the fight, Lafayette, Alex, his phone continuing to annoy the hell out of him. It all became too much. So John snappily grabs it out his pocket and he's looking at the screen when it comes on. 

 

 

 

Ten calls from Lafayette.

 

 

 

Fifteen from Alex.

 

 

 

All in the space of not even ten minutes since John cabbed it home. 

 

 

 

Through blurred teary vision John got up one of Alex's many messages. God there were so many already.

 

 

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

 

I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU

 

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

 

 

YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS NO YOU CAN'T I DON'T BELIEVE YOU

 

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

 

WHY JOHN WHY

 

**From: You, To: Daddy:**

 

I've already told you it's over. Get it through your head.

 

 

**From: Daddy, To: You:**

 

THE FUCK

 

 

 

John was about to type another reply, but as he did Alex is calling him right there and then. He must've been waiting and watching the dots on screen for his response. 

 

"The hell John!"

"Alex you've gotta stop calling me! Go away!" John spat. "This is like fucking stalking!"

"Oh, hell, fucking no! You're _not_ breaking up with us over a shitty text message." Alex exasperated. "Not after everything! Do you hear me? I'm not having it!"

"You always have to take everything to the next level, you always have to push it." John spits out."I said I'm done! I'm done with you, I'm done with Lafayette, the whole fucking arrangement."

"But why?!" Alex asked, almost desperately.

"Because I'm just done!"

"I know you don't mean that!"

"I do!" John shouted. "I don't care -" A lie.

"John, listen, honey, it isn't even -" Alex took a moment to sigh, catch his breath back and his tone had gone higher than usual. John's adams apple was bobbing, he was trying to hold it together. But gradually he was breaking apart.

"I don't care about the arrangement either! I was fine not giving a fuck about that ages ago! But we want you, I want you, Lafayette wants you. Jesus christ, you don't make this any fucking easier for yourself!" Alex practically screamed down the line.

John could hear the hurt in his voice, he also hear a slightly sniffle too and the way Alex's voice cracked made the ache in John's chest pain him even more.

"Don't you see?! A year, a whole damn year. We've been in love with you for a solid year. Yet you don't even..." Alex sighed and he sucked in a breath it sounded like. John's eyes were streaming by this point.

 

 

"I love you, Jack."

 

 

 

John knew that.

 

 

 

"Lafayette, he loves you."

 

 

 

He also knew that too. John closed his eyes tightly, more tears dribbled out as he did.

"Whatever it is, whatever has happened, whatever you're feeling, let us in. You don't have to keep hiding. You don't have to go through this alone or shut us out, we know you're scared. Baby, it's okay. Just for once, please, try and open up. Let us help you."

John went silent on the line for what felt like ages. It was ridiculous because he had to pack for Charleston. Yet he was wasting his time.

"We can help, John. You can trust us. Just say."

John could hear Lafayette in the background and he's asking Alex to pass over the phone to him. Alex is telling him no and from the sound of it, Alex has gone out on the balcony. John can hear the cars and city with the wind rustling down the line.

 

 

 

"Alright, I'll tell you. I'll give you the real truth." John's voice was merely a whisper.

 

 

 

 

Alex must've still heard anyway. "Jack..."

 

 

 

"I was just using you" John breathed out.

 

 

 

 

 

Another lie.

 

 

 

 

He hates himself and John is chewing the inside of his cheek so hard it bleeds as he cries silently.

The line went quiet and John can hear Alex's shaky breathing.

 

 

 

"What?"

 

 

 

"That's right, I was just using you both. I never really wanted you, well, either of you. I mean Lafayette, he's quite a catch and all. Best sex I've had in a while." John says bitterly. He manages to make himself laugh, it's awkward and forced, shaky too. He hoped he hadn't have himself away. "I just wanted the money."

"I don't believe you," Alex rebuffed down the line almost immediately. "I don't - there is no way. If that's true, then you would've fucking fled earlier!"

John made himself snort aloud and his false chuckling had Alex cursing all sorts at him.

"You wouldn't have stuck around this long." Alex hissed. "Why are you doing this? Why are you _really_ doing this?!"

"Maybe I don't want to end up like poor little old Sam, you know, your intern." John snapped. "Beat him black and blue I heard."

John could hear Lafayette gasp in the background. So Alex had him on fucking speaker.

"How do you know - fucking _Jefferson_." Alex growled. He can hear Lafayette and Alex witter in french to each other.

Then Alex is back on the line. "Whatever he's told you, it's all lies. A pack of fucking lies. I told you, John. Jefferson shit talks me all the time! And Sam huh. You want to know about that little prick?" Alex all but laughed. "Okay, oh, so, how about I tell you that he gave _me_ the black eye?"

 

 

Wait, what.

 

 

 

"Then tried to make my life a living hell at work, with Jefferson by his side for the latter? How he tried to ruin my marriage and career? Hm. Holy fuck, John." Alex muttered.

 

 

 

John was silent.

 

 

 

"Thanks, honey." Alex said quietly.

Another set of tears were at the ready. John sniffled and he's brushing the tears with his wrist.

"Thanks for having that outlook and amount of confidence in me. Jesus." Alex rasped. "Here I was, thinking maybe you thought a little more highly of me. Rather than believe some bullshit rumour about me going around playing fucking fisticuffs!" Alex babbled.

He could hear the sob in Alex's voice.

Then there was rustling, John was certain Lafayette was trying to yank the phone off Alex. "Laf no, I don't want you on the phone to him -" Alex shouted. "I'm dealing with this! Get off! No - leave it."

Just then Alex came back on the line to him.

"You're breaking my heart, here, Y'know that?" 

John heaved a shaky breath as he did and twiddled with his bed sheets there in his hand. John's heart was already broken. It lay in pieces, broken.

"Right, so, where do we go from here?" Alex asked, firmly, bitterly.

John shrugged to himself. "No where, that's it." He replied back in the coldest tone he could muster up.

"You're serious?" said Alex.

But as the reality of leaving Lafayette and Alex occurred to him, how real this was, how John was following through with his horrid plan that had gone all so wrong. It was in a muddled mess with his sister tied in with it all. Martha, imagining her lifeless in some hospital bed only had John weak.

"I am" John said brokenly. "Never been more serious, I don't want you. Either of you. So get it through your goddamn heads!"

He's hiccuping and subconsciously releasing a sob down the line. He hadn't meant to and when he does, immediately John cursing himself mentally.

They had heard because John can vaguely hear Lafayette keep his voice down saying "He is crying his eyes out" to Alex. John can hear Alex give back a quick 'mm' before going back on the phone.

"John, I know you don't mean it." Alex is trying, he's trying so hard. But John can't go back not after this. "I know you, I _know_ you. Look -"

 

 

"No!" John shouted. "That's it, leave it."

 

 

"So that's it..." Alex repeated, almost to himself.

 

 

"Yeah, that's it. Done." John gritted out.

 

 

"Okay" Alex said back, he was trying to remain calm. "If that's what you want, honey."

 

 

 

No, it wasn't.

 

 

 

Alex was going to let him go.

 

 

 

Lafayette was too.

 

 

 

This isn't what he wanted.

 

 

 

  
_"I love you, both"_

 

 

 

"I don't do sloppy seconds" John tossed in bitterly. 

 

  
  
He heard the hurt in Alex's small mixture of a pained gasp and what sounded like John's name.

 

 

As selfish as it sounded, John wanted them to fight for him. But they weren't. Not anymore.

 

 

 

Finally they were letting their amour down.

 

 

 

As more tears spilled out from John, he was silently wiping them away. He didn't want to say goodbye.

 

 

 

"Don't try to find me, don't try to contact me either. Delete this number. If you try, you or Lafayette, I'll block you. I won't be at work, I won't be here anymore. It's over, finished. Got it?"

Alex sniffled down the line and croakily he replies with, "Understood"

 

 

 

With that, Alex cut him off.

 

 

 

John's phone went launching into the wall and it shattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY


	17. CONFRONTING

 

The first thing John did the next morning was empty all of the money he had made from sugaring into his bank account. The account Alex gave him now empty, abandoned. It was a dick move and John was surprised Alex hadn't changed the password, restricted him from taking any of his money after their break up. But nothing, it was still there, thousands, free for him to take. So John did.

He's already packed for his flight, John was planning on handing in his keys once he got back. He couldn't stay here, not when Alex and Lafayette knew where he lived. John had already rang Lava Java and told them he was handing in his notice. Hercules was shocked, he was already just about to start his and John promised he would call back later. Explain things properly.

John appreciated it when Herc said that if he needed anything or any help he would be there for him. Hercules was a great friend. The only friend John probably had left. That cheered him up slightly. But the heaviness and ache in his chest didn't leave.

His phone was beat up, the screen smashed but it was still decent enough to make out words and use. He didn't have time to get it repaired though, his plane was in an hour and John still needed to get out so he could avoid the hellish traffic, grab some food before getting to JFK airport.

The next thing John did wasn't like him.

 

 

Not at all.

 

 

 

He's in the bathroom, brushing his teeth angrily, his eyes still sore and blotchy. He's staring at his reflection, hating himself. Hating what he's caused. More tears shot out of him when he reflected on everyone he had hurt.

 

 

 

Peggy.

 

 

 

Martha.

 

 

 

Alex.

 

 

 

Lafayette.

 

 

 

He was a shit brother, a bad friend and a terrible, well, sugar baby or ex-boyfriend. Whatever.

John's spitting out his mouthful of toothpaste, whirling it away with the water and splashing at his face. He's hovering over the sink, staring at the whooshing water for a second before turning the tap off. Then he looks at his reflection once more.

 

 

When did it all come to this.

 

 

Everything, everyone he had loved. He had lost sight on the lot of them.

 

 

He was a wreck.

 

 

 

John frowned at himself hatefully.

 

 

 

 

His face, his eyes, his nose, his lips, his stupid hair.

 

 

 

 

John felt his eye twitch and this newfound wave of shame, anger, rage, it fulfilled him. John darts off out the bathroom and he's storming over to his desk. He's ripping the drawer off nearly, scrambling like a mad man through his pens, pencils, notebooks, until he sees them

 

 

 

.

Scissors.

 

 

 

 

His eyes hazel teary eyes come back to life in a quick instant. He snatches them, pencils and paperclips pop out, falling to the floor when he rips them out. John dashes back into the bathroom and he doesn't think. His mind was blank and body was numb. John felt absolutely nothing.

 

 

 

He had to do this.

 

 

 

 

Rid their touch.

 

 

 

 

This fucking hair. It had to go.

 

 

 

 

John doesn't stop to think when the first long strand is snipped off. It shocks him for a split second, he looks back at himself directly in the eyes, his breathing ragged and he can't believe he's just done that. Then John's face crumples up, he's lost it.

"Fucking, so, stupid!" He mutters out between snips.

Years worth of long curls flutter down to the tiled floor and stick to the sink. John keeps on going until he breaths out 'Fuck it' and just takes his entire pony-tail, the scissors were that sharp, not the best for cutting hair and his cuts were jagged. But his long pony-tail comes off.

John looks at it, broken, disbelief over his face and he breaks down. He flings the scissors across the room and the crash somewhere in a corner. John's got hold of his hair and he's squeezing it as he cries.

In the end he's left with a really short curly bob. John' silently studying himself in the mirror, it's horrible, he doesn't like it. He couldn't even remember it ever being this short. Maybe the last time it was like this, his mother was still alive.

He was little, small and everything was okay. Back before sugar daddies, college work, bills and long late night shifts. When chocolate milkshakes, what happy meal toy he got from Mcdonalds and missing an episode on the Disney channel mattered most.

John pulls a short curled stand, it springs back into place and he sighs.

He didn't feel any different.

But it was what it was. His hair was gone. John wipes his runny nose and figures he best start cleaning up the mess he's made.

As much as John knew it wasn't going to happen, he had hoped the two of them would attempt to reach out again. Anything, a text, a phone call. But nothing came, it was well and truly over. The reality of it sank in and only made John tear up more.

 

 

 

 

He looked a mess.

 

 

 

 

Red glass eyes from crying and not enough sleep, a snotty red sore nose.

John had gone three hours at the very most. He really didn't give a shit how rough he looked today. He felt weird with his hair this short, he felt colder without his long locks to keep the chill of his nape.

So John throws on a beanie to hide the state it was in. Tosses on some skinny jeans, his old vans sneakers, a thick hoodie under an old graphic top and his trusty green scarf. It would be warmer when he got back to Charleston so there was no need for a coat.

At the airport John kept looking at his phone when he was waiting. He kept staring at their names on his contact list. Eventually John found the strength to delete their names.

 

 

 

Delete

 

 

 

 

Delete

 

 

 

 

Done.

 

 

 

_Gone._

 

 

 

 

He blocked Alex on Instagram and Facebook. Lafayette was blocked on his gaming list. Done. He wanted nothing to do with them.

On the plane John is crammed between a teenage girl next to her friend laughing, screeching loudly and a man who takes up too much leg space. John's head was pelting and he's regretting not getting business class now. But in a way, he felt like didn't deserve such a luxury, that this alone, this heartbreak, lethargy pecking at his being was a punishment. He did manage to get two hours of sleep though.

 

He caught a cab once he arrived and instructed it take him to the hospital.

Home could wait.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

John had always hated hospitals.

It wasn't so much the sterile smell of cleaning gear, antiseptic or the floor buffer wax that lingered in the air. Everyone one hated hospitals because of what they would do to you in there. Keep you waiting, take your blood, operate on you and keep you in for days on a drip. Making the outside world feel like a dream, hospitals were a prison. Well, they were for John.

They always made him think about to when he was little and his mother was alive. Just barely. When she was dying, the amount of trips they all had to take to see her everyday. Weekends, after school and work. When they would arrive, their mother was lay there, thin as a rake, no hair, sullen sunken eyes and her lively smile now a bleak one. But still just as warm.

John was barely a teenager when she passed. He could remember his father complaining how Henry and Mary used to take their time putting on their shoes, Mary picking and choosing her favourite barbie doll to take to show their mother or James peeing himself right before they left. It had always been a nightmare, their father was stressed and used to throw out a temper at all of them in the car.

John would sit next to his father in the front seat, wincing when his father's voice used to go right through him as he prayed the car journey would be over. James, Mary and Henry all arguing with one another in the back seat. Martha, lifelessly looking out the window, ignoring them all. Spiralling silently in her own little bubble, dwelling in depression. That was when it all started anyway, when their mother was dying. Martha slowly lost herself.

It was like reliving a nightmare. Day after day seeing her wither into nothingness. Until she finally passed, it was a curse and a blessing. No more horrible hospital journeys but sadly, no more mom.

When John checked in Roper hospital he was directed to the fourth floor and eventually he got there. John was out of breath, fast walking, his rucksack rattling on his back and finally he made it. Outside the room he found James playing on his iPad.

John's footsteps must've caught his attention and he's whipping his head over at John. God, it was crazy what a year could do. His little brother, the youngest of the family looked older than ever. James had lost some of his baby fat, looked slimmer. His boy features had mellowed but his dimples still remained. The entire family had dimples, it was crazy. Apart from Henry who only had the one in his left cheek.

James were prominent and bold when he grinned at John. He's tossing his iPad aside on the chair next to him and jetting up. John can only smile softly at him, he's opening his arms for James and James comes bounding over. Crashing into John, his arms snaked around John's taller, lanky frame and James clutches the back of John's hoodie.

"John" James whimpered, he's already welling up. Tears at the ready, he always was a cry baby.

John chuckled and he's ruffling James's flock of black curls. "Missed you too, bud"

"Martha, she's really sick" James sniffled. John nods at him as James looked up at him with teary dark brown eyes.

A sigh from John. "I know, I'm here now. Don't worry. I'm here."

Then James smiles through his tears and John lets out a little 'aw' before wiping his brother's tears off his cheeks and hushes him quietly. James always was the softest one.

Out of them all, he was the one who needed the most protecting. Not even because he was the youngest. He was just so self conscious, very introverted and shy. Didn't know how to really fend for himself. A lot of his traits John had himself. If it wasn't Martha who was around John, then it was James who usually stuck by his side like glue.

Unlike Mary and Henry who were loud and proud as ever. Mary who could easily hop on a stage, sing out her soul and not care what people thought. Henry, the little popular prince of the family. He was much the same.

At that moment Mary is walking in the corridor there and has Henry by her side.

 

 

 

"John!"

 

 

 

James and John look up at them both. Mary is all grins, her wild dark curls longer than the last time and she's rushing over to her brothers. She looked taller and puberty was hitting her hard. "You're back!" Mary cried, she's the next to fling herself at John.

John made a grunt as she thumped into him. He hugs her back though and chuckled. "Yeah, yeah, I'm back." John says. "You still causing mischief?"

Mary looked up at John with this gleam in her eyes. John knew very well she probably had been driving their father up the wall. He just laughs and shakes his head. She gives John a nudge on his shoulder and wickedly grins. Then she's batting her hazel eyes, doing a double take and without warning, yanking John's hair and gasping.

John winces from her sudden pull, his face crumpled up and he's prying her thin hand off. "Jesus christ!"

"Oh my god! Oh my actual, god!" Mary looked back at Henry.

Henry who was stood there with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Staring at them all glumly.

"Henry! You see this!" Mary gasped. "He's cut it off!"

John moves his head away when she tries swiping at his hair. "Stop!"

Then she's jumping up, John leans his head way back, away from her reach. "Damn, sis, cut it out!"

"John! What the heck!" Mary says, prodding at John's chest. John just snorted at her, if only she knew half of what happened. Then she'd get it, maybe. "You've cut it off!"

"Why did you cut your hair?" James asked, his voice was always so quiet, in contrast to their sister's.

Between the pair of them, John didn't know what to say. He can't tell them about his fits of despair, anger and inner self hatred. He shrugged at them both. "Just felt like a change" John tells them. He shakes his curls to prove a point. "You don't like it?"

James twists his mouth and tilts his head, as if he was thinking on it. Mary shakes her head. "Nah, it's weird. You've always had long, long, hair. How am I gonna practice styles now!" She cried. "I want to start Youtube! I was gonna use yours!"

John raises his brow in surprise and snorts at her. "You've got hair, use your own!"

As they laugh it off that was when John notices Henry in the corner of his eye, glaring at him. Slowly John drifts his eyes to Henry, he hasn't changed much. Just gotten a little taller, almost at John's height now. Henry had shaved the sides of his head and left himself this curly fringe.

He looked a bit more mature in the face, his cheekbones on point. His dark brown eyes glaring at John, Henry always did have the beadiest of eyes out of them all. They made him look shifty. He was almost eighteen from what John remembered. Still never knew how to smile too.

"Henry" John lets on

His brother, Henry, gave him a sheer nod. Then he looked away. John refrained from balling his eyes, hey had to try and be civil at least. John was just glad most of their arguing had been on the phone and not now at a time like this.

"Alright, guys, where's dad?" John asks them.

"He's working" Mary threw in. James followed right after.

John looked at them all. From James big brown eyes, Mary's sullen smile and Henry's stoic expression. "Are you shitting me?"

"Nope!" Mary chirped, with a 'pop' as she finished. "He's left me in charge -"

"No, he isn't!" James cut in. "He left Henry to be in charge until John got back!"

"Guys" John sighs. Rolling his eyes. "C'mon, no arguing" He says over them. Henry is leaning against the wall, looking up at the ceiling in a bored fashion. "We're here for Marth, got it. That means, we all get along. She wouldn't want y'all arguing. You know better."

James still has a fistful of John's hoodie, he grips his hand tighter on it. Mary looked to the floor, her eyes lowering at her Dr Martens. Henry leans off the wall and finally, he speaks. "John" Henry said. They all look to Henry. John bobbed his brow, he knew something was up. Henry had that look about him.

"Mind if we talk?" Henry asked, his voice demanding. John gave James a little quick ruffle on his curls, signalling him to let go of his arm. John drops his rucksack on one of the rowed seats.

Mary was just about to follow John as he walks off and Henry glares at her. "Alone" Mary crosses her arms and rolls her eyes at the ceiling.

"I'm stuck here again!" Mary whined.

"Hey, hey, chill" John says to her.

"I've been stuck here for hours!" She moaned. Henry scowls at her.

Then he says, "Fuck sake, just look after Jimmy. We won't be long."

Mary glowered at Henry. James is just stood there looking helpless as ever. John meets Henry's side and he's swatting Henry on his shoulder and giving Henry the eye. "Don't start" John mutters to him quietly. Henry sucked his teeth at John with a 'tch' as he walks on, leaving John behind to catch up.

John looked over his shoulder at them with a weak smile. "Stay there, mind my bag."

And off they both went.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Eventually John and Henry made it outside. They were just outside the back of the hospital, a few people lingered outside on their phones, others smoking or were chatting to a loved one in a wheelchair. Henry kept on walking through, he slowed down his pace and John followed.

For a hospital at Christmas, things looked very bleak. John didn't like the idea of Martha being in here so close to Christmas. John didn't want her missing out and wanted her safe, warm, at home with everyone.

Then the two of them stopped or well Henry stopped when John did. "Right, so, what is it?" John asks, firmly. Henry turns his heels and sees John's stony glare. Henry slumped against the wall there, leans his head back against it and closes his eyes for a second.

"Henry?" John repeated.

With one eye open, Henry looked at John before giving his tired eyes a rub, he looked like he hadn't been sleeping much. He turned his head to John.

"Didn't think you'd make it" Henry says, unbothered. John scoffed at him.

Here they go again. John couldn't believe his brother would say that. As if he was that unreliable, it wasn't fair. John leans on the wall with Henry, his shoulder resting against it.

"She's my sister" John hisses, frowning at him. "Course I'd come, the hell do you take me for?"

Henry's mouth his turned upright. The anger right there in his eyes. John wasn't backing down though.

"Well, you did leave. Left us in the shit." Henry hissed back.

Then John stands up properly, he's shaking his head and scoffing. "Yeah, so I was supposed to stick around and get stabbed? Alright, cool."

"That's not what I meant!" Henry barked. "You never kept in touch!"

John frowned back. "I did! I fucking did! What do you want me to do, catch a plane every weekend and come home? I've got my own shit going on."

Henry pulls himself away from the wall. "You could at least pick up the damn phone!"

"And I did -"

Then Henry butted in with, "Not enough, John! You left!"

"I had no choice!"

"You did!" Henry shouted. Some people in their cars passing were staring at them.

John glared at one couple who were looking and they drove off fast when he did. "Henry, cut me some slack. Jesus."

"You just went away! We never heard from you! It was always us reaching out if we did ever hear from you!" Henry rambled on. John looked even more hurt when Henry spat out. "You didn't care, you never missed us!"

John rebuffed with, "I have college, I work, I have responsibilities! Of course I missed you all!"

"No you didn't!" Henry growled. "You were glad once you left out that front door!"

 

 

 

 

Oh, really.

 

 

 

 

John's face was a picture. "Henry, I swear to god!"

"You could've -"

John sighed aloud, right over Henry.

 

 

 

This was ridiculous.

 

 

 

"I can't sit at home all day, every day, looking after y'all. I've done it too often, I did it when we were growing up, but now, you guys can look after yourselves. I'm not -" John hated himself for saying this, it came out, like word vomit. "I'm not mom!" John cried as he's prodding at his chest.

Henry's face softened. He shuts up. His posture shifted slightly, his dark eyes meeting the sidewalk and he's staring at his kicks.

"Marth's been cutting for years, I've tried to help. I've been the only one who she relied on, the only one who knew." John told him. "Dude, I can't do it alone. You say she's distant, she sits in her room, alone. Have you reached out to her, huh?"

John sees Henry's brow knit. He's hit a nerve.

"Have any of you?"

Henry shakes his head. He's scowling now.

John sighs gently. "You gotta help me, with this. Henry, I can't do it alone. As a family, we need to stick by her. I know I'm up there in New York, it may seem like I'm lightyears away. But you guys, you're all on my mind. Each and everyday. I missed you all."

A sniffle came from Henry, John's staring at him, concern laid in his face. Henry plays with his curly bangs, ruffling them as he did. His eyes scattering anywhere but at John. "She -" Henry began, his adam's apple bobbed when he tried to speak.

John wanted badly to reach out and put a hand on him but Henry would break or flip out. So John didn't. He knew how Henry could be when it came it getting all emotional.

"She, uh, god. Oh god." Henry said weakly, he's blinking and John knew he wanted to cry. "She never leaves her room, not anymore. It's like watching her slowly die, like mom."

John felt his own throat go tight.

"I know, I was a little kid, too young to remember but I do." Henry says breathily. "I remember lots of things, horrible things. I know, you're not mom, John. I get it, you're doing your own thing. It's just hard, y'know. You're the _only_ one who gets her. I don't understand Marth, the way she thinks, way she speaks."

Martha wasn't easy. John knew that. She was very spaced-out, held such a hazy and unusual mind. A lot of people found her weird when they were growing up. John always defended her.

"I know, I know, it's tough." John said, nodding.

Henry sniffled again. "Guess, I'm jealous, really."

At this John cocked his head. "Why?"

Henry gestured his head for John to follow him, so John does. As they walk on they find the small hospital garden. It was chilly, all the usual flowers had died but the greenery was still alive and well. The pond of fish and small fountains filled in their silence.

"You can be you, not give a shit." Henry tells him.

John's looking at his brother with a face of confusion and perhaps, a bit of shock. This was Henry - Henry who was saying this.

"What do you mean?"

They're rounding a corner with all the bushes and benches. "Martha, she gets you. You can deat with her, you've raised us. Sorta. You always knew what to do, you handled everything when dad went under, you were always independent. Stood up to dad." Henry's hands go deeper in his pocket, he looked skittish.

John noticed how Henry's ears stuck out red with the cold. The pair of them with their protruding ears. John can feel his own oozing, chilly from the biting winter breeze. He missed his long locks, this beanie hat just wasn't cutting it for him.

"You say it like it's easy" John says, sadly. "Truth is, it wasn't. Half the time I had to wing it, I had to manage and as for dad, Henry."

Henry looked over his shoulder up at John.

 

 

 

 

"He terrifies me"

 

 

 

 

Both their eyes met. Hazel married dark brown. John is certain he can see an ounce of sympathy from his brother. Henry's face dropped.

"When I was in New York, the first time I got there. I was scared." John tells him. His pace slows down as he spoke. Henry's does the same. "Didn't know what to do, I got a hotel, filed in for a dorm, started college weeks later. It felt good, to be away from here. I'll admit that." John said slowly, sternly staring right into Henry's eyes. "But I did miss you guys, I care. I never stopped. I just had to find myself. Live for myself, I get this sounds selfish, but when you've always been the one who has to do everything, it feels, amazing."

It felt great to get all this off his chest. Henry had to understand, John couldn't be around forever. He had his own life at the end of the day.

"You think I can do it all?" John sounded almost desperate, to get through to his brother. Henry continued to frown at the ground. "I can't, I'm sorry."

Henry nods silently. He looked back up to John. "You're right," Henry murmured. "You can't, I know. I'm - I'm sorry too."

It seemed like they had found some common ground at least. John gives Henry a little nudge into his side and Henry does it back. Henry cleared his throat and he's eyeing John. John suppressed a small smile at him. Henry looked suspicious whenever he did that.

"What?" John asked.

Henry shrugged. "Just wondering, what did you get up to in New York?" John rolls his eyes, Henry was still nosey. In fact, all of his siblings were nosey. All of them. John couldn't have shit all private growing up. Whenever it was mail, two of them wanted to read it or see what was in his packages. If John ever kept a diary or sketchbook, he would catch Mary in his room or James flicking through it just to get a chase out of John.

If John ever wanted to do a sneaky trip to McDonalds, he knew he would find James or Henry waiting by the car when he ran to grab his keys. The pair or one of them there, waiting, driving John out of his mind to tell them where he was off to. Then cheer when they got free food.

Even down to his sexuality. John had told them all soon as he knew he was gay, practically begged them all to keep it a secret from their father. Martha didn't care so much. James didn't really get it since he was little at the time.

But Mary and Henry used it to their advantage, bribing John to keep it a secret just as long as they could get a little sum of cash or something bought for them. It never worked. John knew all their secrets, he used those right against them both. Henry and Mary shut up after that. John gave them ten out of ten for trying though.

John had always felt somewhat comfortable talking about his sexuality around his siblings. They weren't judgemental, they didn't really care.

All of them knew John was gay before ever telling their father. He was the last person to find out. John told his siblings from being a pre-teen that he liked guys. It was just natural to him. They loved John and it didn't matter.

Half the time it had consisted of Mary saying and pointing to cute guys in chick-flicks, 'would you kiss him? would you kiss that one? or what about him?' which had been highly amusing.

Then James asking how John would have a baby, then having to explain to him about surrogates and giving up when James didn't really get half the things John explained. At least he understood adoption.

When John and Charles Lee were friends, Martha pulled John aside on afternoon thinking he was his new boyfriend.

How wrong, poor, sweet Martha had been.

Henry, he never really asked. He never seemed interested. If anything, John always wondered if him being gay bothered Henry. John had caught him pulling faces or looking as distant as ever whenever he mentioned guys or his other siblings asked him stuff. Henry was the only one who looked put off. Also he was the least closest sibling John had. Henry never spent much time with John growing up, ball and gym came first.

Since Henry had this little reputation at school, John would roll his eyes. He didn't get what was so amazing about a bit of high school popularity, since no one gave ten fucks once you left. But to Henry, it mattered. Henry was the only one who didn't like to rely on John either, he did from time to time but not often. He wasn't as whiny as James or Mary.

The middle child, the one who kept to themselves. Put up with the younger one's bullshit and was allowed to give hell back, yet at the very same time, had to receive it off the older siblings.

"You're actually asking me, about, myself?" John joked. Henry nudged him in the shoulder. John staggered a little and laughed.

"You've been gone for a fucking year!" Henry exclaimed. "Surely you had to be doing something cooler up there than down here in this dump"

John snorts. "Define 'cool' though?"

Henry rolled his eyes as John just grins. "I dunno, saw the statue of liberty, went on the empire state building, anything!"

"You mean all that touristy shit? Nah, not really. I mean, I did some stuff like that when I first got there with some pals," By 'pals' John was referring to the Schuyler sisters. "But I kinda just went ahead in my life as normal. College, work, that sorta thing. Just different scenery I guess. It's amazing up there  
though, you'd like it."

His brother's brow rose at this. "That an invitation I smell?"

This time John bumps into him. "Could be," John says.

"Rad" Henry said, John caught that little smirk on his lips. "So, you've not done anything else other than work, work and just work? C'mon, John. You're making New York sound boring as balls."

Well what John got up to, his poor brother would never be the same again. John didn't really fancy telling Henry all about what he had gotten up to, the money, the hot passionate sex, the mayhem with Peggy, Angelica and Eliza when they went drinking. The arguments, Francis, his first boyfriend when he got to New York and how he got cheated on. Some things were better left unsaid.

John's eyes lowered and they've turned empty.

They're on his mind again.

Henry is eyeing John again and he squints his eyes. "Oh my god"

"What?" John arched a brow at him.

"You've met someone, haven't you." Henry's eyes were wide now. "That's why you didn't come back"

John was screaming inside.

He got caught out by his kid brother.

John made a mental note to never, ever, reprimand or not take any notice of Henry again. He was too sharp for his own good. He even remember John of someone. John's heart ached when he found himself spiralling into his hole of sadness. He had been doing well until that popped up.

"The hell" John says.

Henry's smirking. "I get it, you've got a boyfriend."

 

 

 

 

 

This wasn't good.

 

 

 

 

John did not want to go back into that territory again. He tried brushing it off by walking on but Henry caught up giddily.

"Who's the guy?"

John snorts at him. "There's no guy" There wasn't anymore. John's stomach was churning, swelling up, hurting.

Henry prodded him in his side and John groans. "Tell me!" Henry laughed.

"Henry" John sighs, he looked at him with annoyance. Henry's smile faded slowly. But John knew Henry wanted an answer and after everything John felt like he owed him after his abscence from home. "Well... alright. Fine."

"So you've got a boyfriend now?" Henry asked.

Some of the quacking ducks capture their attention. Both Henry and John stop at the edge of the small pond and watch them.

"I did" John tells him quietly. "Two, actually."

Henry shoots John a look. "You're awful"

John rolled his eyes. "I wasn't two-timing them! We were all in it together." Henry gives John a bit of a weirded out look. John bashes him with his shoulder. Henry stifles a little chuckle. "Nah, they were married. Just didn't work out."

"Married?" Henry gasped.

Well, their relationship was strange. John remembered when he first found out they were married too. He couldn't believe it.

"Yeah, they're well into their thirties." Alex shrugged, he ignored the shocked look on his brother's face. Clearly more shocked about the age of them both. "It doesn't matter, it's over."

"Why?"

A sigh from John. "Henry, leave it. It's done with."

So respectfully Henry does. "Alright" He said. There was some silence between them again, until Henry side-eyed John and he slipped out with, "Were they cute?"

John looked over his shoulder at his brother, he's scoffing and nudging him again. "I said leave it!"

Henry's shrugging and quickly removing his gaze from John's. Then John is eyeing his brother up, he's biting the inside of his cheek. He does wonder about Henry sometimes.

Then it hit John over Henry's words.

He frowned to himself and drifted his gaze to Henry. "Since when did you ever think another dude was 'cute' anyway?"

An awkward laugh came from Henry, he's looking shifty. John's smirking, despite all the horrible shit that had happened. He's still managing to get some fun. Even if it meant teasing his kid brother.

 

 

 

John knew.

 

 

 

He definitely knew now.

 

 

 

 

Oh, yes. It was confirmed and he'd had his suspicions for a long time.

 

 

 

 

From the cute mail boy at the door who regularly knocked on, Henry grabbing it off him and John noticing the way he stared at the mail boy, that extra bit longer, his voice quiet and too polite under a coy 'thanks'.

To Henry staring at a fairly good looking waiter at the usual chicken and waffles joint they all head to sometimes, Henry sucking on his milkshake, watching him and John staring at him in the corner of his eye.

Not to forget all of Henry's ex high school girlfriends, well the ones he had bothered to go out with. They had all sported short hair, leaner bodies, semi-tom boy style. John had caught on to this years ago. Oh, he knew alright.

 

Some of the ducks passed them, the mothers with their young in lines. Trailing softly along the water, pecking at the chunks of bread floating on top. Henry remained staring at them before swallowing thickly. John went back to staring at his brother, waiting.

"I'm just saying, y'know, hypothetically" Henry came out with.

John's biting his lip and he's chuckling. "Henry," John said softly. Henry slowly looked over to John meeting his gaze. "Do you think dudes are cute?"

At this Henry went quiet. He's twisting his mouth to the side, in that little nervous fashion he always did.

John narrows his eyes, he's got him.

Henry turns back to John and he's scratching the back of his head. Henry shakily sighs and he's gone back to watching the ducks.

"I was just saying, y'know." Henry mumbled.

 

 

 

 

Oh bless.

 

 

 

 

But John's curiosity got the better of him. "Henry, are you gay?" John asks bluntly.

Henry's eyes widened a tad. Then John remembered he needed to be nice here, it wasn't always easy for someone to come out. Not everyone was as freely and easy going with themselves like he was. John had said he was gay to Peggy, Hercules, his siblings and others, like he was speaking about the weather.

Despite him being such an introverted person. John was comfortable with himself. Henry looked nervous, he's wiggling his ankle and biting his lips. He looked unsure of what to say.

"It's okay, if you are. You can tell me, Jesus, I'm your big brother. Your fucking, _gay_ , big brother at that. You can tell me anything! I'm hardly one to judge!"

They both laugh though. Henry shrugs once more, John swats him on the shoulder. He'd had enough of the shrugging.

"Well..." Henry chuckled. "I've always, kinda, been curious, I guess. About guys."

"Mm?"

Henry's gone back to scratching the nape of his neck. "I like girls, I do, but I think I like guys better." Then Henry dropped his gaze down to his sneakers. John's listening intently. "It's hard, I'm on the football team and if I ever said -" A sigh.

John understood. Although it was sad in this day and age how Henry couldn't come out or felt like he couldn't because kids in high school could be harsh as hell. John remembered how he kept his mouth shut in school too and only really told people he wanted to know.

"They'll drop me like 'that'." Henry clicks his fingers. "There's one dude, he's in calc and he's real smart. Real nice." Henry said, almost breathlessly. John could see in his brother's eyes that this guy, whoever he was, made Henry happy. It was sweet really.

"He doesn't really hang with many people, he's pretty shy. Keeps to himself." Henry said sheepishly. "Not like me, I just follow the crowd. Do whatever everyone else does and I don't want to. I just feel, like, I gotta."

Then Henry grinned. "We talk a lot online, everyday. We like each other."

John could only smile. "You should ask him out sometime"

"Dunno" Henry murmured. "If word got out..."

"Henry, you're as bold as brass half the time. I get it's scary, but fuck them. I mean, you've got not even a year left in school. Do you really care what they think?" John asked him. Henry's eyes were wide and then they lowered. John offered him another light, small, smile.

"You leave school in summer, if you want to go out with this guy, tell him. Let him know, you like him. Don't be scared to -" John takes a deep breath, Henry watches as he does. He looked worried for John.

 

 

"To wear your heart on your sleeve, I know it's cheesy, yeah. Cos, you, never know. You might not get the chance to again."

 

 

 

 

John's throat ached. His feelings were catching up on him again.

 

 

 

 

"So don't throw away your shot" He ended softly, sadly.

 

 

 

 

Henry's staring at John, considering his brother's words, his face blank until he breaks out into a small smile. "That really was cheesy" Henry said, he's got a cheeky grin on now. "Super-fucking-cringe"

John giggled along with him. "Yeah and don't ever, ever, fucking, make me repeat that again. Hear me?"

Then Henry spluttered out laughing. John ruffled up his hair and Henry is batting at his chest. "Alright! Alright! Jesus!"

As the pair of them fuss and mess around. John grabbing his brother in a headlock and pretending to throw him into the pond, he lets go and they both just laugh it all off as they make their way back to the hospital.

Henry seemed content now. He was telling John more about this guy, whoever he was and even showed John some pictures of him. Nothing rude. John was surprised that Henry would be interested in this little twinky geek. He looked harmless, quite sweet. Not someone John would've gone for himself in his school days but Henry was happy enough.

When they enter the hospital Henry is putting his phone away. "Could you imagine Dad's face" Henry snickers.

Oh, to see the picture on their father, Henry Lauren's face. John would have it framed. He couldn't wait for Henry to come out to him, so it would piss their father off that bit more. To know that the world was a different place compared to his hay-day, to go against everything his father hated. John would relished it till the day he died. And there was nothing he could do to stop his sons either.

John laughed loudly, one of the nurses shushes him as she passes them.

Both John and Henry put on serious faces, they're trying not to laugh and sniggered out with loud snorts anyway as they hurried off into the elevator.

Once they're in there, Henry threw out an impersonation of their father. "Two gay sons in my family! Oh, good, lord where did I go wrong!" Henry stresses out his hands for good measure, something their father did when he was having a melt down in his office, on the phone to colleagues.

"There will be none of that!" John jokingly shouts, putting a finger in Henry's grinning face. "Not in my house, I will not have that in the house of sexual repression!"

Henry wheezed and elbowed John. "The fuck? The house of -"

John waved him off. "Don't even ask, dad says stupid shit -"

"He actually said that?!"

But John ignores him. The elevator doors open and John comes out with, "Hey, look on the bright side, at least we can be disowned together!"

"Thought you were already disowned?" Henry bit his lip smiling.

John scoffed and shrugs.

"Mary will probably be the only one to ever get married," Henry snorted. "I suspect Jimmy will just marry one of his pet frogs"

Oh how John forgot. James and his pet frogs he kept in their tank. John just hoped James was looking after his turtle. Another thing John forgot to ask about when he had arrived earlier.

"Why did we never hang out before?" Henry asked. He looks up at John with sad eyes.

John sighs, "Guess, it took something as shit and as terrible like this to happen for us to, kind of, appreciate being brothers."

But Henry goes back to smiling. "Suppose it did"

"Yeah, we best get back though and see Marth." John tells him.

"Alright, it's this way, come."

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

It felt odd to be back home.

The big Southern Antebellum house he grew up in never changed.

After his father dropping him off along with Henry, Mary and James in the back. John noticed his father had avoided him for the rest of the evening. There was no arguments, not much talk between them, not even any eye contact. Two strangers joint by blood. John wondered how his mother would react if she could see this. What she would say. It pondered John's mind a lot, he knew she wouldn't approve of his father's behaviour. Not just to John but other things.

The neglect, the abuse, the carelessness and lack of conversation. Money, completely, taking over his father's life. Work, work and nothing but work.

After they got home that evening John found his room and it was still the same. It wasn't a new office, his father hadn't broken and torn up half his room like John thought he might've. Nothing. Martha and Henry had apparently cleaned it up after John left in a hurry. The drawers were stood upright back in their place, the hangers were in their closet and a new change of sheets on the bed. John smiled to himself, they were all so cute. So good to him.

They knew he would come home.

One day.

But despite being home, the usual view from his childhood window still the same. All the trees and fields there in view. The same bed he had grown up in, from hiding under the bed sheets from the dark, to discovering what masturbation was, to smuggling in one guy John had a crush on to do homework with which mostly consisted of tongue work than actual writing. A lot of memories were here.

It didn't feel like home though. Not really.

John was sat on the edge of his bed and looking up, around at it all. Paper air planes hanging off the ceiling, a few band posters up on their walls, all his art and old sketch books piled up high in their selves, there in a jagged mess. He breathed in and breathed out. John got out his phone, he hadn't really looked at it all day since getting off the plane that morning. He felt exhausted, barely much sleep and after everything. John just wanted to kneel over and sleep for a month.

He didn't know what he was going to do, not really. He had plenty of money and could easily get by for another year without work. His tuition was paid off. John could revert to online classes and stay there in Charleston. But he couldn't stay here, not really. There was too much to do, he didn't belong here anymore. New York was home now, John felt complete up there. Not here. No matter how much he loved his family.

 

 

 

 

 

With his phone out, he smears a thumb over the broken screen and nothing. No messages, no calls. Silent.

 

 

 

Really now.

 

 

 

 

John smiled to himself. He shouldn't get his hopes up, what was done, was done.

 

 

 

 

 

So he tosses his phone aside and decides to unpack. He was only staying for a week or so. Not too long since he did have to get back to New York for classes and to sort out whatever the hell happened next.

 

 

 

 

 

As John unpacks he realises, his ring. He's still got it on. The promise ring.

 

 

 

 

He hadn't even thought to take it off. Immediately John does, he lifts it up to the light and studied it. He can't throw it away and he can't wear it. Not again. John's face crumpled for a second and he's letting out a small sob. Then gathered himself before just pocketing the ring. He needed to forget so badly.

By the time John settled for the night it was nearly twelve. Mary and James were asleep, John checked on them. It felt weird to keep up an old habit, he was so used to doing so when he was growing up. They were teenagers now but still John wanted to make sure they were okay.

Henry was still awake, John peeped his head around his door and saw Henry with his headphones in, tapping away on his phone, smirking to himself alone there on his bed.

John pulls himself away from the door and raises his brow. He knew what Henry was up to and decided to just leave him to it.

He decided to go to bed but before he did John wanted a quick drink. So he's heading downstairs, the choice of two stair cases there to choose, he always went with his favourite one on the right. It was easier access to the kitchen.

When John sleepily got in there, flicking on the light he didn't expect to see his father stood there in the dark. He was still dressed in his work shirt, no tie, collar crooked. He was leant there with a small glass of scotch. Phone on the countertop, John assumed he must've just finished work. Properly.

John almost jumped out of his skin, he's looking at his father with wide, scared eyes and then he takes in a breath. His father jilted slightly too and shakes his head as he turns away from John. Cold as ice still. John's eyes narrowed at him, his father never saw it and John was thankful. He didn't feel like an argument tonight.

He walks past his father moodily and dives into the refrigerator. It felt so, damn, awkward. John grabbed out the milk and then goes to get a cup. He didn't like all this tip-toeing around. Walking on egg shells like a bad dog. 

His father didn't have much to say to him when he saw John hours ago at the hospital. He gave him a single glance and that was it. John never said anything to him either. He was just thankful his siblings were around him at the time so he had someone to break up the mood.

Which is why it surprised John when his father broke the ice first.

"You back for good?" His father muttered.

John rolled his eyes as he passes him there in the kitchen. "No" John says coldly. "Don't worry, I'll be out of your hair soon. Faster I leave, faster you can make my room your new man cave" His father gave him such a chilling look for that comment.

He didn't care though, John was done with being scared of the man.

"Real charming attitude you picked up there in the city" Henry mumbled.

As John pours himself a glass of milk, he bites his tongue. Glares hard at the tiled wall. His father really was such a sack of shit. John's grip on the glass tightened. He refrained himself from lobbing it at his father. 

"Thought you would stay, at least for Martha." 

John sarcastically smiled to himself, then he huffed with, "Don't do that," Henry turned to him. "Don't guilt trip me, that ain't fair!"

His father shakes his head at John. He's downing the rest of his scotch and then grabbing his phone. As his father was turning his feet, getting ready to leave, John had to just speak his mind. Not be afraid of him. The worst was already done. 

"I saw the way you looked at me back in that hospital," John glowers. "Looking at me like I was, the biggest disappointment you know. Well, technically I am. Aren't I? Huh, father?"  His father's nostrils flare at John and he's shaking his head again, ready to leave the kitchen. But John slams his glass down this time. It halts his father. He stops, turns, looks at John in the corner of his eye. 

"That's if I'm even allowed to call you that" John mutters. 

Then his father sighs with, "You're overreacting. Go to bed." 

John shakes his head and he's nearing closer to his father. "You've been wanting to bitch at me all day," John hisses. He sees the eyeballs of his father widen. John daren't even curse around the man. But here they were. Fuck it. "I know what you're like, you hold it in and explode. So do it then, tell me. What a waste of space I am, how I left everyone in the shit and came back when it hit rock bottom. G'on." 

But his father didn't. He leant against the counter and remained shaking his head "Always have to make a scene." He hisses at John. "I'm going to bed, you can stay up all night for all I care or leave. Don't bother me anymore tonight." 

Then John stops him when he spits out, "Even now, after a year, after all this time. It still bothers you." 

"Enough"

"No!" John cries. Not caring if he wakes the house up. "We know what this is really about..." John says, brokenly to his father. "Still can't get through, can it? You still can't accept -"

"Jacky" His father slammed down a hand on the counter top. They're both breathing hard, both of their tempers still simmering. "It isn't _that_ "

"What's 'that' exactly, father?" John hissed. "Just say it, why are you so scared to say that I'm gay.' His father closes his eyes for a moment, he exhilarates as he does and rubs a hand over his forehead. John takes a daring step closer. "It doesn't mean that I'll never be happy, that I'll never have kids or be successful. I can't help who I am. I'm human. I'm your _son_."

His father nodded along, another sigh. John looked desperate and despite him hating what his father had done to him. A part of John wanted his father to reach out to him, for at least once in his life.

Just like he used to when John was little. When John used to cry over thunderstorms and the dark before any of his other siblings apart from Martha were born. How his father would cradle him, read him a book or tell him funny stories to help him get over his fear. Then kiss him on his head and actually say 'Love you, Jacky'.

 

 

At one point John used to be his father's apple of his eye.

 

 

 

 

Besotted with him as soon as John was born. Small, squishy and weepy with faint freckles in his mother's arms.

 

 

 

 

His son.

 

 

 

 

His Jacky.

 

 

 

"It's just taken me a while to, well, understand, it all." His father says sheepishly. John tilts his head. "I get it isn't the old days anymore, new era, you kids, you're all for these crazy political rights. I just never thought -" A pause.

"You'd have a son like me" John breathed out.

Another nod off his father. "Yeah" John's stomach ties in knots. He's hurting and it's hell. It's complete hell. "Guess so"

At least John knew where we stood now. Well, he already kind of knew anyway. 

There in that moment John had to tell him. He couldn't hide it, his sanity was down the toilet anyway. So bitterly, brokenly, he blurted out with, "I had a boyfriend, up there, in New York." His father stiffens and then he just silently nods. Doesn't even look at John.

"Two of them" John says, his voice breaking and his eyes watering. John didn't think he could cry any more tears after tonight. "Yeah, two. Actually."

 

 

 

 

 

Alex, Lafayette there in his mind. His loves. God, it hurt.

 

 

 

 

 

"It was an open relationship, type, deal. They're married." His father still didn't budge from the countertop. He remained leaning there on it, lifelessly staring into space. He's just listening and it's starting to piss John off. His father, ignoring him again. So John just does it.

He laughs sarcastically. "They paid me"

John sees his father's hand twitch and him side-eye him. "Didn't really think I'd be involved with that kinda stuff when I got to New York. I mean I did work, I had a job in a coffee shop. Gotta be proud of me for that much, huh?"

 

 

 

 

 

Still silence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

John narrows his eyes at him. "You ashamed of me, you still hate me, father?" John pushed.

"No" His father spat. "I'm not"

"Liar" John snaps. "You're a fucking liar!"

Well that did it for Henry Laurens, he's banging his fist and John flinches. His hazel eyes glittering with tears. Just wanting, longing, for some type of acceptance. Since he couldn't be loved by his best friend or boyfriends anymore, to have a parent, even if he didn't completely accept John. Just to give him some acknowledgement.

Something to make John feel wanted. 

"Jack, you're twenty-one." His father sighed. "You're a grown man, you can do what you want. It ain't my business." He wafted a hand at John. 

 

 

 

 

"No" John stormed to him.

 

 

 

 

"Tell me you're ashamed!"

 

 

 

 

"Stop" His father hisses. "Goddamnit! Stoppit!"

 

 

 

 

"Tell me when you started being ashamed! Was it, when I came out to you? Was it last year? Two years ago? Now?" John exasperated. 

 

 

 

 

Then his father erupted. 

 

 

 

 

 

"When you hid the fact that your mother had cancer!" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What.

 

 

 

 

 

"What?" John stammered out. He barely recognised his own voice. It was croaky and small. 

His father waved him off again. "She told you before she could tell me" He muttered. "You were thirteen, too young. Too young to know, to understand. A kid shouldn't be dealing with stuff about death. Guess, I was just hurt. Thought I'd be the first to know." 

So that was it. 

This was why he had been angry at John for all those years. 

"Father" John shakily said. "I didn't... I didn't know."

They took a moment out to catch their breaths and settle themselves. John sniffled and he's wiping his cheeks, the tears pouring out like crazy. Everything always came back around in a big circle somehow to his mother's death. Always. 

Remembering how she had told John about the cancer, it always brought him to his knees. How she was driving John back home from school and came out with it like she was talking about groceries or gossip. She seemed fearless at the time, smiled and squeezed John's knee. Telling him 'it would all be fine'. She was going to get treatment and this would just be a little hiccup of the past. Little did they all know, it wasn't. This had scarred the entire family. 

His father's eyes were glistening themselves. He takes off his reading glasses and has a quick wipe at them. 

"You knew?" John asked, quietly. 

  
A nod off his father. "She told me" He gritted out. "Before she got any treatment, she said, 'John knows' and that was before I had the chance to even tell you all."

John remembered. It was one of the hardest conversations he'd ever had in his life. Asking their mother about what type of cancer it was, the aggression of it all, why she was losing her hair and how come she had gone from being such a curvy, gorgeous woman to be so skinny, frail looking. Regardless, their father had never gone a day without kissing her or touching her in someway. Still evidently besotted with his wife, their father. 

All this time. 

"Father" John said, meekly. "I-I-" 

But his father cut in quickly, " He whispered out. "Right, well. Im going to bed. Turn off everything when you're done." 

John's gaze fell to the tiled floor at his socked feet miserably. John could only nod and off his father went, leaving him alone. 

Right after his father was when John went left the kitchen. He switches off any lights, grabs his drink and returns back to his room. Throws off his t-shirt and shuffled into his bed, the silky sheets felt amazing. God, he was so tired. A quick flick of the lamp and he was in darkness, 

Even though he was tired, John couldn't go to sleep right away. He could hear his father shuffle around upstairs there on the third floor above him. His room right under his own. John takes his phone from his stand, the screen lights up the entire room as he taps away.

John recalled how he had to give Hercules a call and talk about why he had quit. He knew Herc would still be awake, the guy never slept.

Instead though, John shuffled deeper into the covers and is tapping on one of his French language apps. He's got the basics section up and he's playing one of the catchy word learning songs. He hoped it was lull him to sleep. It was like counting sheep, except in French. 

 

 

 

 

 

_"Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf, dix."_

 

 

 

 

 

John had it on repeat. Again and again. Rather than drift off to sleep though, John's eyes water and his nose bums up. He's wiping at his eyes, his lips are wavering and eventually he broke down. 

 

 

 

 

 

_"onze, douze, treize, quatorze, quinze, seize, dix-sept, dix-huit, dix-neuf, vingt -"_

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So John is back down in the South! Home, sweet, home. 
> 
> Also the hospital I used in this fic is an actual one there in Charleston (TY GOOGLE)
> 
> Incase anyone wonders what John’s hair looks like YouTube or google “21 chump street” and look at Anthony Ramo’s hair there. That’s basically what John’s is now.
> 
> And yes, our little Henry is bisexual and wants a boyfriend! I love writing John and his sibs. They're so cute. 
> 
> Martha will soon make an appearance! 
> 
> BUT YES -
> 
> Thank you so, so much for the comments on the last chapter. Jesus, you all make my day. Also don't worrrrrry there will be a happy ending. Lol. Maybe. 
> 
> Just keep reading kay ;)


	18. TIME

 

 

 

 

A few days passed and Martha had finally been released from hospital.

However their father was putting her on watch and she was to see a therapist weekly. Martha didn't protest, she didn't say anything either though.

She kept silent and to herself once they had arrived home with her.

John had done a run around at the supermarket that morning with Henry and James. They had dinner at the ready since Martha arrived back late afternoon.

Mary had sorted Martha's room for her. New sheets on the bed, curtains open, her desk neat and tidy, carpet vacuumed. Anything to make her life easier and to refresh her. Make her feel better. Martha was already twenty years old, she had turned it back in September and currently she wasn't doing anything with her life. No work or school.

Nothing.

So John figured they needed to give her some reassurance and help her. But not right now, at some point. Martha needed to rest and take out some time to figure things out. When they had Martha home she went for a long bath, Mary ran one for her in her bathroom though, since Martha had an ensuite. They didn't want her in the bathroom she tried to kill herself in. Not yet.

They all had dinner together, their father put down the phone for once and joined in. There wasn't much chatter around the table. If there was it was mostly Mary, being the chatterbox, asking John questions about New York, his classes, the people he's met and places he's been. John tells Mary, he can feel his father's glaring on him, he's listening to. But John kept on talking, told them the truth, well apart from those two.

Martha didn't eat much she had a few mouthfuls and that was it. James and Henry helped do the washing up. Their father got back to doing some work in his office. As soon as he had eaten someone else was calling him. Mary went off to help her brothers in the kitchen leaving Martha and John alone.

In the end Martha joined John up there in his room. For the pair of them it felt weird to be back together after so long.

"Why are you really back?" Martha asked. John furrowed his brow at her.

He hated how they all kept asking him that. It made him feel like a stranger. 

"You seriously asking that?" John said. Martha shrugged her shoulders and looked up around at John's room. She sat up right there against the wall with her legs over John's. She had lost a lot of weight John noticed.

Martha was quite a thick girl, not big, but she had always caked on weight on her lower half. She used to joke and gloat how it was her best 'ass-set' and say 'it ain't just boys who like yours Jack!'. It would always have John rolling his eyes and laugh. It was true, his Martha was a looker. She was so pretty, long crazy curly dark hair and a small little pixie face with a splatter of freckles on her nose. Too beautiful to be feeling this sad.

"Marty" John sighs, a nickname only he called her. Martha averted her gaze from John and looks back to him, slowly, when he places a hand on her kneecap. "You know why I'm back, dammit. I came back home for you."

John leans back on his headboard and shakes his head. She looked as if she didn't believe him, one bit. "That what it takes now, Jack. Slit my wrists, end up on a stretcher and you come home? God." She huffs. John frowns at her.

That wasn't it at all. Martha was still sore over him leaving.

"I'd do anything for you, you know this." John stained, his voice croaked as he did. "When Henry was crying on that phone, tellin' me everything, you, the cutting and the ambulance coming to get you. My mind, it went blank." He sniffled.

Martha remained staring up at the ceiling, her eyes fluttering away any tears and she continued to try putting on a brave face. This act she had since coming home, they could all see through it.

"Can't loose you, Marth" John squeezes her knee. "I can't, not you."

"Then why did you stop talking to me!" She hissed, her voice like venom. John's lips curl and he's withdrawing them in. Biting on them inside his mouth. "You stopped messaging me, everything. All of it. You stopped. I needed you!" She spat.

John nodded along, he knows. John knows what he's done and truly, he is sorry. He just wished he could get through to Martha how much he loved her and how sorry he was for neglecting her when she needed him most. John squeezes her once more and Martha batted his hand off her knee. "Marty..."

"You were the only one who was keeping me going," She sniffed. "You kept me alive. I lived for your messages, John."

"Marty, hey, hey, I'm here now. I'm here." And she's breaking down.

Martha squealed as she cried.

He always hated seeing her cry. It always reminded him of the days back when they were younger, months after the funeral, Martha's fresh tears and blooming sadness. Day in and day out, John rubbing circles on her head until she fell asleep there on his lap. Martha telling him her thoughts of suicide, John never really thinking she would ever act on it. Until now.

Now he knew, this was too serious. It's woken him up.

"We've already lost mom, I can't loose you too. Need you."

Immediately John moves over to her self, shuffles over on the bed to her by the wall and wraps his long arms around her smaller frame as she weeps. He looks down at her, sees her forearms bandaged up under her sweater.

John wondered how long it would take them to heal. He recalled seeing a bit of one of the gashes when a nurse did her dressings earlier. He saw the stitching, yellow and purple oozed around it. It looked so painful.

"You can't leave us all" John muffles into the top of her hair. "We need you, me, Mary, Jimmy, Henry, Dad. All of us. None of us, we can't live without you."

John spends the next half hour soothing the top of Martha's hair, pecking her forehead and just holding there, being a big brother. Eventually she falls asleep and John reflects on his life so far. It had been such a whirlwind, crazy and broken. John hoped it would improve. It just had to. 

"We'll get through it" John whispers into her hair. "We will" 

As he's rocking her to sleep, John thinks of all the recent things. College, Peggy, work, love. It was a mess. He needed to sort it. But it didn't help that they conquered his mind the most. 

 

 

 

 

  
Alex.

 

 

 

 

Lafayette.

 

 

 

 

They were still there. Never leaving his mind.  

 

 

 

Eventually John felt himself slowly drift off into the peaceful abyss of sleep too. 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

The day before Christmas Eve was hectic.

John had to get everything in for Christmas day. He was surprised just how well Henry had taken care of his car while he was in New York. Now that him and Henry had gotten that bit closer, he could joke and laugh with him.

John dragged Henry along with him to the grocery store to get everything too. Since Martha wasn't in the mood and couldn't carry heavy bags with her arms in bandages. Mary was busy entertaining some cousins, aunts and uncles they had over along with James. Their father was out at a Christmas party with work. But promised he would be home later that evening.

Both Henry and John managed to get it all in, the turkey, beef, ham joint, crackers, drinks, snacks, vegetables, more drink, cake. The lot. John paid for it all too. Henry's eyes were like footballs when he nosily peaked at the wad of cash John had in his wallet. John told him to mind his business and start putting the bags in the trolley. To shut Henry up with his questions and ones about John's love life up in New York. John gets Henry a few beers he liked to stop him asking. As usual, he gave in to his siblings. Nothing ever changed. John knew he should be stricter.

They stop by a local diner for some tasty chicken and waffles. By god, John has missed chicken and waffles like crazy. In New York he never really craved them, that was until now. After feasting up they head back home and John has James, Henry and Mary loading everything in the kitchen. Unpacking, stashing away, the lot. Because if James and Mary thought they were getting out of it all by staying home, they were sorrily mistaken. John smirked to himself when he saw their faces at the amount of shit they'd brought home.

Christmas Eve morning John had them all, including Martha helping out. John was softer with Martha, he gave her small things to do and stuck by her side for company. They spoke about all sorts, she seemed content. But he wanted her involved, John couldn't have her sat alone in her room again, not another day.

John remembered some cooking skills Lafayette had taught him. He picked up some dish ideas from last Christmas. Even managed to sort the turkey out, although his father came in to give him a hand with that. Then his father took over the turkey completely. John was secretly glad, he didn't really know how to deal with it that well. But everything else, skinning the carrots and parsnips was piss easy.

He had Henry and James peeling potatoes because were they fuck, going to sit around on that PS4 all day. John had to confiscate Henry's phone, his brother couldn't stop texting that guy he liked. John knew his brother was all loved up and John was happy for him, really. But this was family time and finally, John had Mary was decorating the table. Perfect.

That afternoon a couple of cousins, aunts and some family friends came on over. It was chaotic in the house and John went to join Martha upstairs for a while. But being the eldest was annoying. John always had to help out, serve drinks, keep the chatter flowing and coo over how big his baby cousins were getting. One of the toddlers, his aunt's newest, curly little thing at eight months. John had her bouncing on his knee, he had always been great with kids. Then again he'd had years of experience with James and Mary on his hands.

If it was one thing John knew, that he really knew, was that he would love to have kids someday. With whoever that came into his life, that's if he could even hold down a relationship properly. When he thought about Alex and Lafayette, he went numb. He couldn't even stay with his sugar daddies, let alone have kids and be together. But it was something John knew he wanted, children, they were the lyrics to the song of your soul. Gems, jewels, diamonds, held no value around one's neck apart from the arms of your child. John knew that from a young age. Kids brought joy and that joy, he wanted.

John hoaxed Martha to watch a film downstairs with the rest of the family. Despite how much she didn't want to, she did, parked next to John and Henry on the sofa. Henry ignoring the film, tapping away on his phone. Mary playing with one of the babies. James scoffing a packet of chips. Their father talking with one of their uncles. It was relaxing but cosy. Just being together, some peace at last.

With a couple more films, some drinks and dinner, everyone left eventually not long after. Their father went on up to bed after downing his scotch, a quick smoke outside the back yard and he left the rest of them downstairs. Told them all not to stay up too late.

Mary and James were the next to go up though. James couldn't stay awake any longer, he was stuffed, sleepy and yawning all over the place. Mary was falling asleep too.

They were up on the third floor, across the hall from their father's room. Both groaning at how many stairs they had to climb. John, Martha and Henry could hear the giggling up the stairs, then a clatter and bang. Mary shouting how James just tripped up and their father yelling for them to be quiet. Henry and Martha sat on the sofa snickering among each other. John told them not to laugh, him actually being the only one concerned whether James was alright or not.

Once they were gone, John got out a beer for himself, one for Henry and a hot chocolate for Martha, she didn't drink.

It was late and even though American Dad was on, the fire still rolling and the Christmas tree twinkling. None of them could be bothered going to bed yet. Henry was parked on one sofa, still dressed in his burgundy hoody, jeans and kicks. Continuously texting this boy. Martha was lay resting on John's stomach who was lay with Martha between his legs as she watched the TV. He was messing around on his phone.

It was quiet.

"Do you guys ever remember when we would always open presents on Christmas Eve?" Martha asks, out of nowhere.

Henry actually bothers to look up at her over his screen. "That was when we were kids, Marth." He said.

"Yeah, but, still. D'ya remember?" She asked.

He gives a small hum. "Yeah, I guess. Why don't we do it anymore?"

Martha shrugs and pulls a face. "Guess Christmas just gets old, like us. Stops meaning anything." Henry looks over to John, who is looking down at Martha.

"Oh fuck off, Marty." John chuckled, he's trying to lighten the mood here. He's looking at Henry though. "I can recall you screaming down the house when you got that Barbie Malibu dream house. I bet you would still do the same now!"

Henry snorted and he's grinning. "Or just like when she got that Nintendo DS, wouldn't even let me have a go." He fired in.

Martha drops her mouth and gives Henry a cut look. "You were like eight! You would've wrecked it!"

"I'm surprised you already didn't -" John added. "With the way you were screechin' your Nintendog's name at the table!" Martha slapped John's thigh as the pair of he brothers laughed. "Dad did not look impressed"

Then Henry is biting his bottom lip. His dimples on show. "I'll never forget the look on his face!"

Martha balls her eyes and crosses her arms. Pouting at them. "It wasn't my fault you had to say their name like twenty, damn, times." 

John gives her a bit of a nudge with his thigh. Martha darts her eyes up at John and pulls a tongue at him. John does it right back. Then they both just giggle. John ruffling Martha's hair and she's batting his hand off her.

"Dammit, John, lay off!" Her curls are all tousled in a wild mess. John couldn't help but belly laugh, the way she looked at him like that. Face twisted.

"Marth, hey, look -" Henry called and he had his phone up, ready to snap a picture of her. Both of them teasing her, getting Martha to smile which she was doing. It was rare to see her grinning these days and it was nice to see her do so.

She puts up a finger at Henry. "Here, take that and shove it up your ass while you do"

Henry pulls a shocked face as he's laughing. John tugs a lock of her hair gently but firmly. "Less of that" John scolds.

Then Martha is dipping her head back and looked up at John who was looking down above her. "Oh, don't act as if you wouldn't like it either."

John scoffed, "The fuck!"

Martha swats a hand at his chest. "Henry's gay, you're gay." Henry's face drops, he's putting down his phone and shifting on the other sofa. He's ready to spit out whatever he was about to say. But Martha cut him off. "I'm just saying, y'know. Oh, that reminds me, these guys you were seeing."

John almost forgot, he had briefly told Martha about them. He didn’t go into depth but John had told her during a conversation about his dating life up in New York. He not properly and especially not that they were all together, dating. For all she knew John was sleeping around. 

But even to acknowledge  them, John's gut immediately drops. It's like a heavy weight, crashing through and plundering to the very bottom. Hurting.

Henry's mouth is on standstill as he's waiting for Martha to finish.

"I mean, how did that go for you?" John is spluttering, his face bright red, he was so not having this discussion with his baby sister. He wasn't telling either of them about his inner, filthy, little kink he shared with those two. The amazing sex. All the other gory details. Hell no. That was private, forbidden.

Henry shifted his dark, beady eyes to John. He's got this stupid smile on his face, as if he was about to burst out laughing. John knows his ears are bright pink and his freckles were probably standing out like no tomorrow.

"Marty, seriously." John says, he's trying to laugh it off. "Girl, I swear."

But Martha looked dead on serious. "What? It's just a question! Wasn’t it crowded?”

Henry snickers. “John’s threesome thingy?”

John glares at Henry. His eyes screaming for him to not say another word. 

"Damn... I hated sharing a bed with Mary and James when we were kids. That was bad enough." Then she swiftly looked to Henry, he's got his legs curled up to his chest, trying to hide his grin. Martha could see his eyes smiling anyway. "And you, Henry. Jesus, fuck. You're the worst one."

"Why me?!" He cried, snickering.

She rolled her eyes. "You fidget, move, snore, drool, fart -"

"I don't!" Henry protests. "The hell!"

He's looking to John, astonished. John is trying to bite away a smile of his own. "Tell her!" Henry cried.

"Actually, you do. You are the worst one to bunk with." John told him.

He didn't want to add in how Henry was the bed wetter up till around nine years old. The latest to finally stop with that. It always made John glad to be the eldest, all those trips to their aunts and uncles houses as kids. Sleeping over and the whole, who's sharing a bed with who, scenario. Oh god, it made John grateful he got to have his own bed. While all his other siblings fought over who shared a bed with Henry.

"You're like that kid, the one from Home Alone -" Martha fired, Henry narrows his eyes at him and John is in giggles. He knew which. "Y'know, the one no one wants to share a bed with."

Henry's mouth fell out.

"Martha!" John nudges her.

"Screw you" Henry barked, he waves her off and goes back to his phone. Both Martha and John are watching his face light up.

Martha is eyeing up at John then she looked back to Henry.

"C'mon, so who're you dating?"

And Henry sighs as he darts his attention back at Martha. "Usually, you never speak. Now all of a sudden you're fuckin' picking on me?"

"I'm not!" Martha cries, beaming. John knew how much fun it could be getting a rise out of Henry. "I'm just curious, it's Christmas. The time for sharing, being together as a family -" She glances up at John for a quick second again and then back to Henry. "Tell us"

"Why do you think I'm dating someone?" Henry sighed.

"You're never off that phone, all day and all night. It's like nearly 11 PM too." She said smirking.

John was staying out of this, he's reaching for his beer off the table and taking a swig. He really was back home. Their little ramble went on for ages too, Henry saying he wasn't telling her and Martha pushing his buttons. Eventually John thought 'fuck it' and blurted it out.

He knew Henry would be all up on him for the next few days. But ah well. 

"He likes a guy"

The look of pure, utter betrayal crossed Henry's face and John felt a bit bad, but it wasn't as if it was a sacred secret. It was only a guy and a crush. Martha is slapping John's knee lightly as she's squealing.

"Oooh" Martha giggled. "Serious?"

Henry was still scowling at him and all John did was shrug his shoulders. Martha would've found out anyway eventually. Nothing was kept hidden in this family for long.

"Yeah" Henry confirmed with a small sigh. Still frowning. "I do"

This has Martha flopping her arm on the back of the sofa. She laughs and shakes her head. "God, even my two gay brothers get more guys than me." Martha sighs. "Jesus Christ"

Henry frowns at her. "I'm not gay!" John gives Henry a particular look. Henry flipped him off. John raises his brow and snorts to himself. "I'm not! So, what. I like one, guy. Doesn't make me gay."

"But you want to do things with him, right?" Martha shot. She smirks cheekily. 

"Still doesn't make me gay!"

John rolls his eyes. This was tiring. "You don't need to be so uptight, we get it. The more defensive you act, the more it just sounds like you're in denial." John tells him.

Martha snorts and she's looking up at John.

"You know, don't you" Martha said, it wasn't even a question.

And John was grinning wickedly back, then looking to Henry. "You can't fool us, dude."

"So, you're gay then?"  Martha asked. 

"You're annoying as fuck" Henry growls. 

Then Henry is sitting back in a slump bitterly. "Fine, so maybe, I may just, be - fully. Kinda. Oh shut it." He hissed. 

Both Martha and John laugh loud. Henry worked up was the cutest thing. He sat there with his shoulders hunched up, cheeks rosey and his brow knitted. Usually Henry was so chilled, teasing him, it was the best.

Then John is putting a finger up at his lips to Martha, they're snorting and giggling like idiots. They forget the rest of the house is trying to sleep. But the walls in this house were solid thankfully. 

"Henry, aw, don't be like that" Martha cooed. 

Then abruptly Henry is shooting up from the other sofa and he's snatching his phone off the arm. He throws on his hood, anger in his eyes and it looked as if he was going to cry. John whispers an "Oh shit" and Martha bites her lips. 

 

 

Whoops. 

 

 

  
Henry storms off out the room and runs upstairs. Martha looked back to his creased spot on the sofa and bottle of beer half-drank still sat on the coffee table. She's looking to John and sitting up there between his legs. "Think we over did it?" She asked, quietly. Almost regretfully. 

John shrugged. "Ah, he'll be alright, he told me all about it the other day when you were still in hospital." He tells her. Martha shuffles over to the other seat beside John. "He'll figure it out. It's better to just leave him."

"Hmm..." Martha goes. 

She's moving over to the table to grab her hot chocolate, winces when realising it'd gone cold. John takes out his own phone just to see the time. The screen being cracked the way it was made everything so difficult. He really needed to get it fixed soon.  Martha leans on his shoulder and her eyes widen when she sees the damage too.

  
"The hell happened to your phone?" 

John heaves heavily through his nose, he rests his head against hers. 

"When, uh, I broke up with them, I got mad. Threw it at the wall." As if that was even half the case. Martha knew nothing, really, of what went on. If only she knew. But John couldn't have her bombarded with his own issues. She had many of her own to work on. He wasn't going to be selfish like that. 

He feels her fingers on the other side of his head, long slender fingers rummaging through his short curls. Tickling and ruffling them. 

"Jack, what really happened? I know you. I know something else went on." She asks softly. 

Trust Martha to try and push his buttons tonight too. John knew she had been itching to ask more about Alex and Lafayette. He could see it in her face, her eyes curious and said 'you're going to tell me'. She had been eyeing him up all day in that way. 

"Marty, it's so, complicated. Don't worry, kay?" John sighs. 

He feels her shake her head against his. "You're always there for me -"

"It's not your worry, though. I just don't...  If I told you some of the things, I feel like, you'd be ashamed of me." John tells her. He really did though, Martha was easy for him to tell anything to. But with what happened, he wasn't so sure. 

Then Martha pulls away gently, she's looking into his eyes. Concern written on her face.

"I'd never judge you," She said sternly. "Recall when I have ever judged you?"  
  
  
  
  
  
Never.

  
  
She never has.

 

 

John dropped his gaze. She was right. "Marty..." 

 

 

"C'mon, tell me. No matter how fucked up it is, how weird or whatever. You're my brother. My best, bestest friend." Martha griped. She takes John's thick forearm and squeezed him. Ushering him. God, she reminded John of someone he knew alright. 

 

So he decides to tell her. 

  
John closes his eyes for a second and clears his throat. "I had a sugar daddy" 

  
Martha batted her eyes. "A what?"

"A sugar daddy, well, no. Two actually." John daren't look at her. But it's not easy because within the next moment, Martha was tugging him around to face her. "Marth!"

Her face was in awe. "A what?!"

"You heard" John mutters. "They're married, in their late thirties, both my boyfriends - well, they, were my boyfriends."  

Then Martha is blinking away and there is sudden silence. John worries for a moment and then she's at it again. 

"How did this even happen?"

John leans back into the sofa and purses his lips for a second. Martha gives him a nudge when he didn't respond quicker. 

"God, you're so persistent. You know what, one of them, you remind me of him!" John groans. 

She jabs a finger into his side. John flinches from it. 

Martha scoffed. "I, remind you, of your sugar-daddy-ex-boyfriend? Huh!" 

But John had to smile and chuckle. "You do! Always pushing me for a damn answer, he was the exact same."  
  
"Are you surprised? You always, oh and ah, about everything! No wonder he has to give you a push!" Martha fired. John couldn't believe this. No way was she siding with him. Fucking _him_. "You have to be! Otherwise, no one will get anywhere with you." 

"That's kinda the reason why we broke up!" John argues. He rubs a hand over his forehead, shifting some of the curls dangling on his forehead as he does. "We met at the coffee shop I worked at, he asked for my number, we went on a date -"

"Was there any sex?" 

John gives her a look. His sister was something. 

"No, n-not at first! We did things, alright? Things." Martha grins and John gives her a small shove in the shoulder. "Fuck off, Marty. Anyway, then he's buying me shit, we're going on all these dates, the best restaurants in New York. All the expensive stores, he's paying me like ten grand a month -"

"Oh my, fucking, god" Martha let out, gasping. Her pretty brown eyes wider than planets. 

John huffs at her. 

"That's not all, he paid off my tuition. I mean, I never asked him to, he just did it! I mean, I was speechless. Then last Christmas, I met his husband, this tall french dude. Looks like a model. He's got the longest name, ever. We just call him 'Laf' or his last name, 'Lafayette' which is easier." John rambled. 

"Laf-a-yette?" Martha arches a brow. "Huh?"

John waves her off. "It's complicated. But while all this was happening, I had three girlfriends up there -" 

Instantly John's story was cut short by her though. "I thought you were gay?" Martha bawls. "Since when were you bisexual? How much of your life have I missed? Goddammit, Jacky. We always said, no secrets!" 

She's swatting him again. John sighs at her outburst. "I am gay! I meant as in friends!" He cried. "My god! Marth. But, anyway, they were called Peggy, Eliza and Angelica or Ange. Peggy was my best friend -" John was cut off with a smack on his arm and he's frowning at his sister. "Well, one of my best friends" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Martha went back to smiling. 

 

 

 

 

 

"We fell out because I spent too much time with them, things just started falling apart. I dunno, it's all fucked." John sighed. "I don't know what to do, we had a big bust up before I came down here. Said things I didn't mean, said I was using them for their money." 

  
"Were you?" Martha asks, slowly. 

John looked directly at her scowling. "No, I wasn't using them. I lied. I didn't care about the money, I still don't." Martha's eyes softened on him, they reminded John of his mother's. She was so much like their mother. 

Then again, John knew he was too. Martha and John were probably the most like their mother. Both small heart-shaped little faces, small uppity noses. While Martha was a tone darker and John sported a milky tan, alas his chestnut brown curls and her darker brown ones. They could not far short pass as twins.

When they were little, they often got mistaken as twins - that's before their mother or father had to correct who ever asked, that both John and Martha were two years apart. Although John and Martha never minded. Infact they were glad people thought they were twins. It only made them closer. 

"You love them, don't you." Martha says. John's lips twist and he avoids her gaze. She knows.

He can see her small smile in the corner of his eye. "You can't fool me, Jack. Remember, that guy in high school, you had this soppy look on your face for weeks. He was all you could ever talk about."

Oh god. John hated when she brought up old crushes or any boy John had gave the time of day.

"It's not the same," John said quietly. "These two, they're - I know, that, I just need them. It's them. They're the ones." 

Martha squeezes him again and rests her head on his shoulder smiling. "I take it they don't know, do they?" 

John puts his hand on top of hers and squeezes it back. "This is why we broke up. I can never say how I feel. I get scared, I think that they're just using me or that they'll leave -"

"Oh, Jack, the fuck?" 

"I know it sounds dumb -" John says.

She practically laughs, "It is!"

"But I just worry, y'know." He sighs. 

There was a small break of silence. The fire's flames cracking and the hiss of the gas mingling with them. Martha kept her eyes on the flames, counting each one that rose in its own jagged way.

"I won't lie, I think it's different. Three people in a relationship, three guys at that." Martha comments. John's cheeks were burning. "I mean, I've no idea how it works in bed, isn't it like a gang bang, type deal? 

John tips his head back and he's whining, "Martha..." 

"Okay, okay!" She laughs. "But hey, if it works out between y'all. I don't see the problem?" 

It wasn't even that. John knew he just couldn't get his feelings out properly. He'd messed it up. Martha could see the sadness there on him. John usually always looked so upbeat, put together and brighter. Since he had been back, his hair short. Dark circles around his eyes which held nothing but emptiness. No matter how hard he tried to keep it together. Martha saw through it. 

 

 

 

 

 

She knew her brother. 

 

 

 

 

 

"Look, if they make you happy, then they're worth it. Your heart, it whispers. Listen to it. If you know, deep down, you love them and that they're right for you. Don't let them go." Martha murmured. "Alright?" 

He doesn't say anything at first and Martha is moving her head off of John's shoulder. She's looking at him, intently. Watching John's features fixed with uncertainty. Martha reaches, delicately, moves one of John's curly short strands behind his ear and smiles. 

"You deserve to be happy" She tells him gently. 

John turns to her, finally. His eyes dour and sad. "But so do you, Marty. More than anyone, after what just happened." Martha nodded, dropping her eyes and she leans back on him again. 

"Both of us, we need it. It's been years since mom, the cancer, everything." Martha said, her voice, almost inaudibly. "But it's almost the New Year, maybe, me and you. Can finally just be happy." 

Then it's John's turn to grin. He holds up his hand with only his pinky showing. Martha puffed at it when he did. "Are you twelve?"

He nudges into her with his elbow. "No, shush. Listen, Marth. Let's make a promise, right. Next year, we'll be happier. Got it? You stop with your cutting, I mean it. No more." Martha upturns her eyes at him and John budges her again. "I'm serious, you better stick to it. Also, I want you out the house. Go to college, getting a job. Something." 

"Okay, I will." Martha tells him, she sounded sincere. "I promise"

 

 

 

 

 

That was enough for John. 

 

 

 

 

 

His eyes glittered at her promise. Martha's grin widened, her dimples poked through. Then she's budging John. He's in for it now.

"I want you to promise me," John already knew what she was going to say. He leans back, his finger and hand aching from being held up for so long. Martha was getting her pinky finger at the ready and holds it up too. "You'll go back to them two, I mean sure, it's kinda weird. I couldn't have another girl or guy upon my future man, but whatever. Three's a crowd but, hey, it's also a charm." 

John spluttered a small laugh. "Geez, Marty." 

"And you'll be happy. In love and happy." She says, seriously this time.

"I promise, I will." 

Then she said, brokenly. 

 

 

 

 

  
"Try, John." 

 

 

 

 

He was going to. Within time.

 

 

At this they shared a moment together, smiling and basking in one another's gaze.

John had missed her, so, so much. She finally loops her finger around John's, her black nail polish shining against the twinkling Christmas tree lights and fire. It twisted around John's, both of them, together.

It was like they were kids again, promising each other, neither  would not tell their dad one of them had just broke the new vase or flooded the bathroom. They were always looking out for one another, like brother and sisters were supposed to. 

"Also, actually finish school, don't just drop out. And remember to call us from time to time, oh and can I borrow, fifty dollars?" Martha asked, quite cheekily. John's smirk grew. "I'm kinda broke" 

 

"You're seriously, something."

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Once they both bid each other goodnight, along with a quick hug and whispered 'Merry Christmas' before heading into their rooms. 

John closes his room softly and thinks about her words. Martha, of all people telling him to get his shit together, right after trying to kill herself. The irony. Still, that was Martha. Then John sighs, he's looking around at his childhood room. Twenty-two and he's still got band posters up from his teens, drawings Mary and James had drawn him so long ago, hung up there on his wall. Some polaroid pictures Henry snapped of them all back when he was into his photography. 

Family. 

Despite everything, John was glad he had them still at least. No friends, no boyfriends or job. But he had family. That's what Christmas was about at the end of the day. 

But really though, they were on his mind. John couldn't shake off the urge to reach out. If he didn't try then he would never know. It was late, not even twelve yet and John knew both of them would still be up. He strips off his top, flings it over his dresser and dips down on his bed. John's taking in a breath and slowly exhaling, he grabs his phone from out the pocket of his jeans and he's getting up the home screen. 

John remembered that he had blocked them both but he still had the numbers on his recent calls. He decides to get comfortable first, his nerves all over the place. John pulls of his jeans and flicks off his lamp. Shuffling into bed and John lies down. His thumb is hovering over their numbers. Before anything he sends a quick 'Merry Christmas' to Hercules.

John had forgotten to text back hours ago. Immediately he gets a santa and heart eyes emoji back off him. John cracks a lopsided smile and shakes his head. That guy never failed to get John's spirits up. 

Then John went back to debating whether to just call them. He wasn't certain if they were even in the country, Alex had spoken about them going away, still, John was going to give it a shot.

With a small sigh, his eyes burning from tiredness and the screen not doing much to help either. John goes ahead. He knew he shouldn't but his thumb hit a number.

 

 

 

It didn't take long for Lafayette to answer.

 

 

 

 

"Hello?"

 

 

 

  
So they were home, John hears the TV in the background. 

 

 

 

John closed up. It felt like ages since he'd heard that voice.

 

 

 

 

"Hello?"

 

 

 

 

 

His heart ached.

 

 

 

 

He hated this. The self torture.

 

 

 

 

But Lafayette ended the call almost immediately when John didn't answer.

So John moves on to Alex. His thumb hovered over his number, John daringly pressed it. It didn't take too long for Alex to answer it. 

When Alex picked up, he sounded grouchy, John wondered what they had been up to. Alex sounded half-asleep.

 

 

 

 

"Hello?"

 

 

 

 

John didn't answer. He swallowed thickly and he's biting his lips. He wondered if he should just say something or even put on a fake voice. No, that was dumb. Well, this was fucking dumb in general.

 

 

 

 

"Who is this?"

 

 

 

 

John's breathing turned heavier and he's shaking.

 

 

 

 

 

"Hello? Who's there?"

 

 

 

 

Before John could put down the phone, Alex said, "This is a private number, how did you get this?"

 

 

 

 

Fuck.

 

 

 

 

Then John remembered, only a few people had this number. It wasn't Alex's usual one. Fuck, fuck. He hadn't called the right bastard number.

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh, I see." Alex said in a snarky voice.

 

 

 

 

 

Another couple of seconds passed and John hears a heavy sigh.

 

 

 

 

 

"Look, if you're going to start playing the 'no caller ID' game, it isn't going to work. I know who this is, it's _you_ , isn't it."

 

 

 

 

John's breath was ragged. He was literally stiff as stone.

 

 

 

 

"Either call me back without trying to pretend to be anonymous and we talk properly." Alex states, sharply. "Or don't call again, have it your way. You told me not to bother you anymore, I kept my end of the bargain. You keep yours."

 

 

 

 

In fright John put the phone down.

 

 

 

He's a mess when the call ended. John's sat up, he's breathing hard and holding a hand over his mouth. Then angrily punches his pillow. Fuck. John shuffled to the wall and leant against it, his long legs hanging over the side. John takes in another deep breath before deciding to try again. 

 

"Gotta speak this time," He tells himself. "You can do this" 

 

So he hits the dial again. Within seconds Alex picked up, John can hear Lafayette in the background saying something in French. The TV is blaring and there is the 'ding' of the microwave. Then what sounded like footsteps going upstairs. John knew that penthouse all too well now. He assumed Alex was working. Even on Christmas Eve. 

There was no 'Hello' or even 'John, the hell do you want?' nothing. Alex knew it was him from the start. He's waiting for John to speak, for him to make the first move this time. Finally to take some initiative for once. John does, this time. 

He bit his tongue and closes his eyes, a sharp breath released from him as he did.

Well, this will be fun. 

"It's me" John practically whispered. 

There was a long pause, before Alex replied plainly with, "I know"

 "I couldn't bring myself to say anything" John tells him. "I, uh, I want to but I-"

Immediately Alex was giving it to him. Right in there, as usual. 

"What's new, John. You can't talk to us, you can't talk to me, Lafayette. Neither of us. So why are you calling?"

Alex sounded so cold. John hated that. Hated being treated so, foreign. He wasn't used to this side of Alex. His Alex, his daddy, his boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend. Who fussed over him, teased and spoilt him. Loved him.

As well as Lafayette. John could remember first meeting Alex at Lava Java over a year ago. John hadn't even tossed him as much, as even a glance, then there was Alex who had been bubbling up the courage to ask for his number for weeks on end. Always thinking about him, always making the effort for John. Yet John felt as if he never made an effort back. 

That needed to change. 

But there was one thing, John knew there was something there soon as he laid eyes on him. Soon as they'd had their first date, soon as they had kissed for the very first time outside the subway station. John had known. Alex was his, Lafayette when John had met him first time round, he knew then too. Lafayette was his.

 

 

 

 

 

Well, they were.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But more like, was.

 

 

 

 

"I need to tell you something" John murmurs.

Another long pause of silence. He can hear Alex's pen tap. He's in his office, they're in private. He's waiting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"I just wanted to hear your voices"_

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I feel like I owe you an explanation" -

Alex scoffed down the line. "An explanation? Oh, do, tell."

"I was lying" John said, frantically. "I lied! Okay, I lied."

"Again?"

"No, I lied about using you. I just wanted to... hurt you both. To spite you both." John sniffled. "I just needed a way out, to end things!"

And he hears Alex 'tch' before saying, "Truthfully, I don't know why you bothered. You did that all by yourself, without needing to lie and honestly, John, I don't know what you want me to say." John could still hear him tapping a pen on his desk.

"You don't have to say anything" John said. "Just hear me out"

He took Alex's silence as his que to proceed.

"Before we had that fight, the night before, I got a call from Henry and he found Martha unconscious. She was in hospital." John told him. "She's started... y'know, self harming, again. I'm back in Charleston now."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then the pen's tapping stopped.

 

 

 

 

 

"This is why I was off with you both that night," John tells him, sulkily. "I didn't mean to be"

He hears Alex heave a heavy breath. Clearly tired of it all, bored, fed up and being hassled by his ex on Christmas Eve, wasn't on his priorities. 

"Why didn't you tell us?" Alex asks, tone slightly softer. Now that surprised John. 

"It was Lafayette's night, I didn't want to put a downer on everything. But I guess, I just didn't you both worrying." John admits.

John fumbles with the string of his boxers. Twisting it around his finger till it hurt. Squelching it until it went pink.

"We would've preferred you telling us what was wrong, rather than sport a face like a slapped ass, John."

John wipes at his nose, it was getting runnier. Tears weren't too far away either. "I know"

"I told you, if there was ever anything wrong, talk to us. You shouldn't have been so, afraid."

"I know that, I know." John repeated, in a shaken breath.

"Right, well, I'm really sorry about your sister and all. That's terrible. But you can't use that as an excuse for what happened."

"I get that, but Alex -" John feels like he can't breathe. He doesn't know what else there is to say. How he can say he's sorry to them both, that this is a mistake. Then he's panicking, his heart beating like crazy and he's jittery. "Alex" John said shakily. God it's coming.

 

 

 

It's coming.

 

 

 

 

He can feel his breaths go shorter.

 

 

 

 

"I think I'm having an attack-" John says slowly. "Shit"

 

 

 

John hears Alex shift in his desk chair. Alex doesn't say anything and usually he would. John is shaking out his leg there and closes his eyes, he hopes this passes fairly quickly.

"In and out" Alex said to him. His tone cold. "In, out, in and out."

So John takes in a shaken breath, he's trying, god it hurts to even breathe. He's got his eyes squeezed shut, he can't even speak. John feels his heart racing crazily and he's glad he's lay there on his bed. If he was standing John knew he would've collapsed in a heap on the floor. His legs were like jelly, his toes tingling with pins and needles. His fingers were numb while his mind and chest were heavy.

 

 

 

"In, out, in and out" Alex repeated.

 

 

 

John follows what Alex is telling him to do, breathing in slowly and exhaling. He does as he's told and gradually they get through it all.

John keeps his breathing evenly when he's calmer, he looked at his phone screen and it had taken them a good ten minutes nearly for this to stop. He feels bad, keeping Alex away from his work and on the phone this long. Just so he could breathe in and out. John hated these panic attacks.

 

 

 

 

 

"Better?"

 

 

 

 

 

"Yeah" John sniffled. "Better"

 

 

 

 

 

"Okay" Alex says. "Good"

Silence kicked in again, John's frantic breathing slowed and he's still sniffling.

"Alright, well, I've got work to catch up on. So, yeah. I'm going to -"

Before Alex could even hang up, John shouted, "No!"

He knows he sounds desperate and needy but he was.

"Please, don't hang up. Don't." John's voice hitched as he spoke. "I called because I just had to hear you, your voice. I even tried to call Lafayette, but I couldn't speak. I needed to hear you both."

John can hear Alex breathe in sharply and his exhale is ragged. He's obviously struck by all of this. John was highly aware Alex was tired of the games, the circles they went in, never really saying how he felt. John knew he had to change this. Quickly if he ever wanted them back.

He needed them. Badly.

"I'm no good with my feelings, I'm shit at speaking my mind." John admitted. "I know that, I know that I've drove you both in circles. I'm not playing games, Alex. I know it may look like it -"

"It does" Alex cut in.

But John speaks right over him, "I'm honestly not, you have to believe me. Alex, I'm scared. Actually, no, I'm terrified, okay?"

"Why?"

 

 

 

 

 

It brewed and bubbled within John. The truth, it was coming out. He couldn't hold back.

 

 

 

 

 

So John let it all out at once, "That I'll get hurt!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is another stretch of silence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He can hear Alex shift in his chair, the squeaking that it made.

"And I've just made things worse, hurt you both. Said things I didn't mean. None of that was true!"

John scrunches up his face and he looks up to the ceiling. Lets out a small sigh. "That you and Laf - Lafayette, would get bored of me. Use me. Leave me." The last part was a struggle to say. He sniffles with a bit of a snorting noise again. "I didn't want to be some side-piece, I wanted to mean something to you. I never cared about the money. Not really."

Alex scoffed.

"You were quick to withdraw it all"

 

 

 

 

 

Oh god.

 

 

 

 

 

"I was pissed off! I was going to just take it and run away -"

"Which is exactly what you did, John. You did what you said you were going to do. Which makes me wonder, how in the hell can I trust you again."

Alex was right. John feels tears bubble.

"I get it, you're much younger, you're insecure, you don't know what you want. You're worried if you're going to be led on." Alex said snappily.

"Funny how it ended up being the other way around, it wasn't you who got their heart shredded in pieces. Lafayette hasn't been eating properly, matter of fact, he's terrible. Won't talk to me, won't do anything. Thinks he's done something wrong. He can just about get up for work in the morning." 

 

 

 

 

  
  
This only made John hate himself more. He's shaking his head, not wishing this all was happening. Lafayette, he was always so joyous, happy. John hated thinking he'd made that beautiful man miserable.

 

 

"It's Christmas, or, it's supposed to be." Alex said, added a raspberry on the end of his words, as if this was a joke. "But no, fuck it. This whole thing with you, your uncertainty, this game you've played, it's fucked with us both, emotionally and mentally."

 

 

 

 

 

John holds a hand up to his mouth as tears poured. He never wanted to ruin their Christmas. 

 

 

 

 

"That's my husband, John. I won't and I repeat, will _never_ , not even you, as much as I still -" Alex pauses, his voice croaked and it was as if he was choosing his words vigilantly. "Care for you. Can't let you hurt him." Alex hisses.

 

 

 

 

 

He can't speak. John was speechless.

 

 

 

 

 

"What, John? You thought I was going to say 'Hey, honey, come back to us!' with open arms?" Alex gave a small cackle. "No, it doesn't work like that. I told you from the get go, I'm no pushover, I won't have it. I won't tolerate silly, little, boys, messing with my life."

"I'm not messing around! I'm not trying to hurt you both!" John cries.

However he's shut off again, "No, you are. You have."

"Alex" John sobs. "I promise, no. I never wanted to, I was scared -"

"You're always scared. Take some responsibility, you had a little plan to ditch us and you went through with it. You satisfied?"

 

 

 

 

 

More silence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I know, I messed up and I'm sorry." John says weakly. "Alex, I've not had it easy. I know it's no excuse, that I've had a shit upbringing, I lost my mom, the relationship with my father, it's rocky." He hears Alex hum down the line. He didn't sound particularly moved though. It only made John press more and his voice broke as he did. "I've been cheated on -"

John bites his lip hard as his brow knit.

"'I just didn't want to be used!"

"Used?" Alex repeated with a small snort. "What made you think you were going to be used?"

Alex actually sounded offended, as if John thought that low of them.

"Used" Alex repeated, almost to himself.

Another sigh came from John. "When we started the arrangement, I didn't think I'd get this attached. I thought I was just your bit on the side. You're fuck toy, that's all I thought I was and I did get attached. Too much. " John tells him.

John can imagine Alex's frown and him pursing his lips. "Everyone leaves, I didn't want you both to do the same, when you got bored of me."

"I don't know whether you're fucking around to get a rise out of me or that you're just ridiculously and utterly, stupid, John." Alex said sharply. John's leaning his head back and wiping at his tear-stained cheeks, he knew Alex was right. "I wish you would open your goddamn eyes and realise you're more than just a piece of ass, to us."

John leant back as he listened. Still teary-eyed and stiff.

"We waited for you, month after month, it's been nearly a year. Just for you to kind of, maybe, I don't know -" Alex snapped. "Come to terms, with the fact, that you were wanted by the both of us! Not for sex, Jesus. But even so, you were oblivious to it all! Every signal, every sign, everything!"

"I get that now!" John fired back.

But as usual Alex cuts him off, "Not everything is about sex! We wanted you, to be with you, to take you in and fucking, see, some kind of future together!" Alex was getting worked up now. His voice rising. "I sat down there with Laf one night, you weren't here, but I turned to him and said 'Hey, can you see it working out with him?' and Laf has this big, fucking, smile on his face and 'yes'!"

The guilt riddled within John. He knew he had fucked up. But he was going to try and work this out.

"And I want you!" John cried. Now past giving a shit if he's woken up half the house. He's crying full on. "Both of you, all day, each and everyday."

He hears Alex's sigh. Then some kind of grumble.

"John, no." Alex hisses. "I can't -"

"Alex" John tries.

"No!" Alex said louder. "I don't know if I can do this again, trust you, that is. Look you've evidently got many doubts. Honey. You're uncertain, all muddled up, lost, fuck - I shouldn't have done this. I knew you were too young for -"

 

 

 

 

 

Then John sees red.

 

 

 

 

"I'm not! Don't talk to me like I'm a child, Alexander!"

"Then stop acting like one!"

John groaned loudly, he's roaming a hand through his hair. Gripping at his short curls tightly. "Look, I wish I was as open as you, Alex. I want to be, you're this open book. The pair of you. I can't be like that." John says, softly. "I'm trying, I want to try. You both mean..."

 

 

 

 

 

And John stops.

 

 

 

 

 

He can't get the words out yet.

 

 

 

 

"What, John? Tell me, actually _try_ , for once." Alex said back stressfully. Really though, John knew Alex was pleading. Wanting him to just confess, finally. Confess.

"Say it" Alex pushes. "If you really mean it, then _say_ it."

John makes the breathiest sigh and finally, he lets his pride wash over him. He had to, he needed to rid the fear. His stomach hurt and he couldn't cry any harder or draw any more tears.

His lips shake, he sniffled and he can hear Alex's sniffling too. He knows he has Alex worked up. He doesn't want to imagine Alex sad or Lafayette. Not them, he didn't want to do this anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

"I want you both"

 

 

 

 

 

 

John takes in a deep breath for what he was about to say next.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next had his heart blossoming with fear, excitement, hunger. All kinds of mixed emotions. But he could do it. He needed to. His heart was whispering to him, to say it. Just say it. Even if he was going to blow it with them both, at least they would know. John would know what they are and what they were not.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I love you, the two of you." John let out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

There was some silence, it lasted a little longer than John expected though. "Hello?" He murmured. Now worried incase he's messed up. John frowns to himself for a moment. "Alex?"

"That's -" Alex says breathlessly, his voice croaky. "That's all we've been waiting to hear."

John can feel his fingers quiver and his phone is shaking. He's done it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He's finally done it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Joy washes over him. John closes his eyes as he leans back his head on his wall and tears fall as he does.

"What now?" John squeaks. "I don't know where we go from here"

Then Alex says, "Well... what do you want? You have to know what you want, John."

"I've already told you, Alex, I want you both." John said, much firmer now. He's self-assured, ready to change, right here, right now. Whether it was Christmas, New Year, a normal day. It didn't matter. 

"It's easy saying that, but, what do you _actually_ want?"

"To be with you both" John responded quickly. "I want to be with you both"

"John" Alex says in a small voice, John doesn't even recognise it. "I can't spell this out for you, you need to know. Properly. You can be in love with us and still not fully know. I'm not talking about the arrangement side of things, I'm talking about -"

"Commitment" John finishes. "I know"

"Is that something you want?" Alex asked. Simply, boldly. Yet his voice still just as fragile as John's.

John's adams apple bobs as he says, "Alexander, I want to wake up with you both, to the sound of your stupid snoring and Laf's arm over my face -" Then John empties the rest of his pride he has left.

He just goes ahead now, he tells Alex bluntly, just what he wants.

It was too late to be shy.

"I want to bug you in your office, when you're workin', you tell me I'm a pain and I tell you, Alex, you work too much, that you need sleep and you gotta to get that rat out your ass, which you do have 99% of the time."

"John -"

But this time John talks right over Alex, he isn't letting him get a word in.

Nope.

"I want to go around the world with you both, I don't care where, just as long as you're both with me. We can go to Paris, to the moon, to anywhere." John added in.

"Grocery shopping, buy all the food and beers, get pissed on your sofa and sing, dance, until four am with you both. Go to all those weird expensive stores Laf likes, go to that old library you love, buy a damn puppy, spend the whole morning fucking, kissing you both until our lips are sore." He ends breathily. John's practically panting.

"Hey -" Alex tried once more.

"Have you both at my graduation, I want you both there, all us smiling, have it framed. Grab all the blankets, some Jiffy Pop and watch movies until we fall asleep, I wanna listen to the stories you write, I've seen them Alex and they're amazing. I wanna wash dishes, do laundry and all that boring crap with you both, doesn't matter, so as long as we're together."

John heaves, he's scared, still terrified of what will happen. Alex's reaction, Lafayette's reaction but he wants to do his best, attempt to make things better.

"I get it, Alex, we gotta work at this, all of this. Me especially, I'm willing to do that. I want to do it, cos' I want you, Lafayette. All of you both. Always, hell, forever."

"Shit" Alex sighs. "God, John. I can't even..."

"I love you, Alexander Hamilton."

"Jack"

"I do" John can't help but smile, brokenly, beautifully, all at once. "You and Laf, love you both. And I'm tired, so, fed up, of being scared."

That was everything. The whole lot.

John just wished he could see Alex's face. Wondered how he looked. Whether or not he was bewildered, sad, confused. If only John could see that expression. But John's hope of everything panning out and that it would be okay soon came to a halt, when Alex said, "I think... Maybe you should think about this."

Then John is sitting up abruptly. He's gripping his phone tighter and concern etches on his brow. "What are you saying?"

He had just poured his heart out and now this.

John could hear Alex's thickly swallow, Alex took his time to answer too. "What I am saying, John, is that I think you should spend some time with your family, clear your head."

"But... what about, what I've just told you?" John said, clearly hurt.

"And I heard, every word." Alex said, his tone gentle. "I just think you need some time to properly think, I don't think we should rush things. Everything is still, kinda, tender."

"So -" John said slowly. "This is the end?"

 

 

 

 

He hoped not.

 

 

 

 

 

John hoped to the gods. Please, no.

 

 

 

 

"I'm not saying that, no, no. Look, you need to be at home for your family. Your sister needs you. It's Christmas, spend it with them, honey." Alex says. "But honestly, think about this. I think some time apart... is what we need."

"A break?"

"Yeah" Alex confirms, shakily. "That's pretty much what, I'm trying to say. It's for the best. Then maybe, when, you're ready, we can sort things out."

John nods at Alex's words. "Okay" If this is what they had to do, then that was fine. John could wait it out.

"I'm sorry, honey. I just want - I don't want this to happen again." Alex says, sighing.

No, John understood.

"I think, it's what we need too. I'm sorry that this... had to be over the phone. I just needed to tell you." 

Alex lets out a soft 'mm' in agreement. Then things went back to silence and John shakily says, "Merry Christmas, Alex." 

He wasn't sure whether to add Lafayette's name in there too. Alex would probably tell him all about this right after anyway. "Give Laf, my love. Please." 

"I will" Alex says softly. "Talk soon." 

 

 

 

With that their call ends.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TIME HEALS Y'ALL 
> 
> Thanks so much once again for the kudos and comments! It means a lot to me <3
> 
> Also if you wanna chat my tumblr is: http://littlepinkphoenix.tumblr.com
> 
> X


	19. REUNION

Christmas day at the Laurens's never really changed.

Get up, run downstairs to open presents, usually everyone was half asleep still, heater on, the TV was stuck on some random Christmas movie. Breakfast consisted of hot mugs of hot chocolate and treats.

Their father his usual cup of joe and a quick cigarette outside the backyard. John always caught his father just on the small stone wall, staring into the winter mist in his jacket over his pyjamas. Smoking in though and John knew he was thinking of their mother. He had that look about him.

John would left him in peace and returned his attention back to his siblings. Martha was currently giggling aloud in a pile of wrapping paper that James and Mary had tackled her into. It was nice to see them smiling together. Henry was trying on some new kicks, all smiles and cheery compared to his mood from last night.

Mary was attaching her new Pandora bead on her charm bracelet. James was buzzing over his new video game and Martha was content over her new phone. John decided she needed a new one, she really did and gave him the biggest hug. He vowed to message her on it daily when he got back to New York.

John was overwhelmed over the fancy new sketchbooks, art sets and tablet he was gifted. Apparently they had all chipped in for it. One of the latest ones on the market and was grateful. Despite him not even being around, they'd done it for him. It was so sweet. John rarely got flustered with them but this made him go all red. Henry gloating how he was blushing at the top of his lungs, Mary pulling his cheeks, James was clinging to his waist there on the sofa, head nuzzling into his side. Martha on his other hugging him back.

This is what Christmas was all about. John was surprised how even his father had snapped a picture of them all on the sofa together. He had tried to be sneaky and John didn't miss that small smirk there he sported either. John knew he had yet to talk to his father about what happened on the night he left for New York. They needed to talk properly.

Yet a part of John felt that his father may no longer be angry with him. Still, John couldn't be certain. The man was difficult, hard to love. John wondered if his father would ever apologise to him.

Their morning went well. They all got dressed, John threw on his loungewear since they were staying indoors for practically all of the day. Tossed his short mop of curly hair into a loose bun and returned downstairs.

The rest of the day went well. Everyone helped out with dinner and dinner went down a treat. With a numerous of snacks, cake, chips, drinks all laid out onthe table among the bounds of wrapping paper and gifts. James threw his game on the TV in which ended up in a debate and so it resulted in Mario Kart. John thought immediately of a certain somebody who was amazing at Mario Kart.

But it was great, everyone joined in, even their father made an effort to bother and had actually enjoyed himself. Seeing him crack a smile brought a whole new tension in the house. A good one, it was light, cheerful and joyous.

While their father, Mary and James were racing against each other. John was sat between Henry and Martha, all three of them lazying on the big sofa. John had asked Henry three times how, exactly, he found it remotely comfortable with his hood up all day. If it wasn't his hood then it was his cap. Ridiculous and Mary had bought him a new cap too. He had his cap on under his hood.

Henry never listened, he was busy wishing his lover boy a merry christmas and bombarding him with messages about his day. John continued to roll his eyes at his brother and Martha proceeded to say 'Just ask him out!'. Henry would turn red and frown, gesture to their father. Martha letting out a 'Oh, yeah' because their father had no idea about Henry's sexuality. John sat there saying nothing unless Henry wanted him to step in. But John figured his brother would figure it all out within time.

John was playing some game on his phone and was surprised when he hears Henry actually ask, "What do those guys look like?"

He turns to Henry with a muddled expression. Martha immediately spins her head around from the TV and is smirking at her brothers. She turns gradually too, biting her lip with a keen look in her eyes. Henry is smirking behind his phone. John suddenly feels like a little lamb between a pack of hungry wolves. He looks back and forth at his brother and sister worriedly.

"The fuck?"

Martha snorts and she slaps John's thigh. He winces a little from it and hisses "Marty!"

"You gonna show us?" She says and she's looking to Henry. Henry looked just as devilish too.

"Yeah, we wanna see," Henry adds with a mean laugh. "C'mon get them up" He nods to John's phone. "You must have their pictures at least"

Martha budges up to John and Henry does the same. Both of them with their eyes pinned to John's phone in his hands. John's mouth is hung open in shock.

"Don't I get a say in this?" John asks, scoffing.

Henry shakes his head and Martha goes, "No-pe!" Throwing on as much emphasis as she could on her words.

So John rolls his eyes. He figures he has no way out of this and it wasn't like he was ashamed of them. They were good looking guys. His loves. John's heart warms and he bites back his small smile. His hazel eyes clouded with affection, adoration. It blossoms when he goes to his pictures, scrolls through the masses of his artwork and project videos, then he finds one of him, Alex and Lafayette when they were at a bar.

He gets it up and instantly, his phone is snatched between both Martha and Henry. John's eyes are going wide and he's stammering a 'What the fuck' whilst trying to get his phone back. Henry gets it first before Martha and he's flicking through more than one picture of them. John scowls at his brother, he's trying to grab it back and Martha is lunging over John's lap to take it. Henry moves backwards over the arm of the sofa and he's grinning. Wide.

John is certain his brother has hearts in his eyes.

Jesus Christ.

"Holy, shit!" Henry giggles. "Damn"

John knows that look on Henry's face, it's his perv-face. John's face floods with a red hue and he's yanking Henry's arm, jilting his brother so Henry is back over to them. John snatches the phone off him immediately. Then Martha is going 'Yoink' and whipping it just out of John's fingers, like butter on bread. She was so slick and swift. John sees her face too and Martha is wiggling her brows.

"Why, hello" Martha says in a deep, joking, perverted voice. "What have we here"

"I swear to god" John whined. "Don't ask, don't wait, just take it why don't you both!"

Henry chuckles, he's nudging John in the side with his socked foot. John whacks it and Henry withdraws it with a yelp. "Ow!"

"That's what you get" John hisses. Henry balls his eyes at him, pulls his tongue, then smirks. John continued to just give him a look. "You're pushing it dude"

"Shit, Jack. You could've told us they were like... fucking daddy material" Martha exasperates, she's in awe with them both. John actually chokes, he knows he's gone completely red now. Henry was watching him with a sharp look and cheeky grin. "Fuck me" She lets out in a gasp.

Then Henry is getting up on his knees, pockets his own phone and he's shuffling back over to them. John gives Henry a withering look, a daring one, Henry pokes John in the shoulder. "Which one is he?" Henry asks, he's pointing to Alex. John can't help but grin, he thinks of what Alex would say if he knew his eighteen-almost-year-old brother had a hard on for him.

"Alex" John tells him, because he was. His Alex. "He's the guy I met first"

Henry tilts his head at Alex's picture, taking him in more. "How old?"

Martha smirks. John's eyes twitch at Henry. "Why?"

"Just a question?"

"He's almost thirty-eight"

It was Martha and Henry's turn to splutter in shock. "He looks fucking twenty-nine!" Martha rebuffed. Henry is batting his eyes like he actually had a chance with him and the shock. John laughs. James looks over his shoulder at them all with a confused face. Martha waves James on to turn back around.

"I take it the other dude is the same age too?" Martha asks, noisily.

John nods, "Yeah, Lafayette is a year younger though"

Henry's brow raises, "Goddamn"

Martha is just nodding along, flicking through photos of them. Biting her lip.

"You gonna tell them about your little brother?" Henry says jokingly. "I'll be the twink they've never had" He whispers, all huskily into John's ear.

Oh, that just did it.

He couldn't believe Henry had even just said _that_.

John's jealously level reaches and he swats Henry on his leg. "Ah!"

"Henry" John scolds. "Where did you even, hear or find out about shit like that?"

"I'm not a kid" Henry tells him point blank.

Well, that was true. John shakes his head to himself, he's bewildered. Since when the hell did his siblings grow up.

"I'll take the other one," Martha joins in. She's batting her lashes, leaning her head on John's shoulder, cheesy grin and is looking up at him. "Can that Lafayette guy tie me down? Tell him, I'll do anything. By anything, I mean -"

"That's it" John says over her, he's shutting his phone off. "The pair of you, I come back home after a year and y'all perverts"

Both of them laugh among themselves while John stewed. "Next time, you're so bringing them home" Martha giggles. "Jacky, next Christmas, you're bringing them. No buts."

"When're you going back to New York?" Henry added. "I'm comin' with you"

"You're lucky you've still got legs at this point" John tells him, sternly. Henry laughs.

At all this between their laughter John notices their father glancing over. John feels himself go cold and his father looks away, sipping some of his baileys and ice then goes back to joking around with James. Mary complaining over losing yet again at the top of her lungs like the drama queen she was.

John wonders just how much of that his father heard. Then again John did think about what his father thought about him being involved with Alex and Lafayette in general. He had already told him that they were married, he was in a polygamous relationship, a sugaring one at that. Alas older men to boot.

Was he disgusted with him secretly still? Did he approve? Did his father even care? John's mind was filled with these questions. He thought back to their argument in the kitchen the other night. He had said, saying how John was an adult and could do what he wanted. Yet he had turned on John when he had told his father about his plans to move to New York and study animation. It made no sense.

Did his father feel regret for trying to stab him?

He hadn't even gotten an apology yet. His father couldn't bare being in the same room as him alone. John had noticed his father bouncing around the past few days, leaving John's side whenever he could. John imagined his father felt ashamed if anything. But John wished that his father would be accountable for his actions and just talk to him. It was Christmas.

Almost New Year.

Now that John was home and everything was nice, he wanted things to change. A new beginning. So he was going to give it a go.

His father was out in the yard again having himself some gin and a quick smoke. John watched at his father stood out back there, sat on the small wall and looking out into the early evening sky. Clouded blue grey clouds that were slowly being shrouded by twilight.

John said nothing when he went over to him and sat beside him, padded socked feet of his pattering on the slightly damp pebbles. John winced on every step and was too lazy to go back inside for slippers. He keeps a reasonable bit of space between them when he sits down. His father blows out a cloud of smoke, it mingles with the cool air. He figures they're in for a conversation.

So John makes it easy and decided to go first. He clears his throat.

"It's nice to see Marth smiling again" John says, slowly, quietly.

His father nods and clears his own throat. "Aye, it sure is."

'Kinda nice to see them all smiling, actually. It's nice to be back as a family." John adds.

He's glancing at his father in the corner of his eye.

"Mm"

That was all John got back.

A pang of hurt and annoyance washed over John. He hated how he was the only one bothering here. Even after everything, a nice day, things were still messy. John wished for once his father could make a bit more of an effort. John turns slightly on the wall, he's looking at his father now.

"How long are you going to keep pushin' me away?"

His father gave him a weary look. "Am not"

"You are" John mutters. "You avoid me, can't even look at me, won't talk to me. Yet, I'm the bad guy in all of this? After you tried to stab me."

John was given a hand by his father and he shook his head as it hung low. "Jacky, I've been trying to -" He pauses, a long and heavy sigh. John watches as his father's face crumpled. "Find the words, well, no. The courage to apologise, more so."

"What?" John babbled.

"You do know, I regret what I did. Jack, I'm aware. I know what I tried to do was wrong. It was inexcusable." His father told him, firmly. John was watching him, his eyes fixated on him and cold. Still he listened. "Son, I am sorry."

Suddenly that heavy weight in John's stomach was uplifted.

His father shakes his head regretfully.

"I look at you and I see your mother. Both you and Martha. She's alive in both of you." He said softly. John's throat tightened as he did and he felt his eyes burn with sudden tears. But John never allowed them to drop, he fought them away and bit his lip instead. "I think of what she would have said, I know she wouldn't be happy with what I tried to do. I just hope that I have her forgiveness just as much as I could have yours, Jack?"

It took a couple of minutes before John nods. He had a big heart really, John couldn't stay mad if he tried. That's all he had wanted to hear from his father. An apology. John feels his father place a hand on his shoulder, it had been so long since he had felt his father's touch. A loving touch.

"I've been hard on you" He said to John. "Not because you're gay, Jack. To be honest, me and your mother, we always had an incline." John's eyes widen at his father.

"What?"

His father cracks a small smile. "You were always different. We always knew. I don't mean that in a bad way."

John gives his father a look. His father's choice in wording was shocking.

"Then why when I came out to you, did you push me away?" John asked, pathetically, sadly.

A shrug from his father. He squeezes John again. "I was surprised, sure I had a feeling you could be. But when you had actually told me, at first I didn't want it to be true. Then I realised it didn't matter at the end of the day." He sighs. "However, I'm aware I haven't been involved in all of your lives. You, Martha, Henry, Mary, James. I've seen you raise them, without me. A part of myself felt angry at you for doing a better job than me and when your mother told you about the cancer before me, I lost it."

"You did" John confirmed, coldly.

"I should never have been so hard on you over that" He tells John. "Should've been there for you all."

"Are you going to step up?" John asks in such a small voice.

"I need to" He said to John. "I really need to, we gotta be a family again. It's the first time in such a long time since we've felt like a family."

John snorts. "Sure that's not because it's christmas day?"

"Not just that, Jack. T'day it just feels more like home."

With a small soft smile John couldn't repress a little laugh out loud. "Guess you're right"

His father moved in closer rubbing his upper back and finally John could breathe.

After all these years.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

New year passed by quickly enough with a lively family night in. Music playing, games on, food out, some bubbly popped, beers and alcopops for the underage. It felt good to be together. Somehow Henry had even scored himself a boyfriend over messenger and was even more overjoyed than anyone else. He was bounding around the room like a mad man.

Martha gave him a big hug, Mary pulled her tongue because 'ew boys', James didn't care and wanted another second helping of dinner. John gave Henry a good ruffle of the hair telling him 'congrats' and mooched off with Martha to drink on the rooftop like they used to growing up. Their father actually spent time with them for once which was even better. John was just happy he had kept his word.

But like everything after new year things had to go back to normality. John was due back in New Year within the next couple of days so over those days he had spare. He chilled, hung out with his siblings and even had the pleasure to meet Henry's new boyfriend whe they went bowling. John was surprised just by how quiet and shy the guy was in contrast to his brother who was an extrovert. Then again opposites always attract. Martha and John both holding back their giggles seeing the awkwardness between the pair of them but it was sweet. They were young, in love and learning.

Something John was taking note of.

His heart sank still at the thought of his own boyfriends. Alex had never told him when their break was over either and John started to wonder if it would ever be over. Day in and day out he had been checking his phone. No texts of either Lafayette or Alex. His heart began to ache and wish they would give him some attention.

When the day came to go back to New York all of them dropped John back at the airport. Tearful hugs, lots of kisses and a quick pat on the back off his father. John figured he was learning to understand and work with his father. As awkward as it was, they were getting somewhere, gradually.

Weeks turned into months.

John concentrated on his college work and taking up commissions online as his solid income. Luckily, he was good at what he did and easily made a good number off there. He still kept in touch with Hercles and they met up for a drink at the weekend often. They were close friends and John was thankful he had him in his life.

As promised John kept in touch with his family. He called and text Martha almost everyday, Mary and James did too. His father did a weekly check on him with a text and John replied back rather than ignore him. It was nice to feel cared for and have a father again.

Henry was always on messenger and John's mouth dropped when Henry started asking John how anal worked. John swiftly told him to google it since having that conversation was just weird. But Henry was a persistent little shit who never gave up. Eventually on FaceTime John blankly held up his finger when saying "This, lube, stretch" and finished with holding up a condom. He ended the video chat there and then before Henry could say a thing.

Months really did pass and John hadn't heard a thing from them. Nothing. But he shoved it to the back of his mind and concentrated on himself. Working out, working on his animations and designs. Keeping in touch with family and he had even made friends through Hercules when he went out at the weekend. It was great to finally gain a new social circle.

Eventually spring and summer passed in a blink of an eye.

The more time passed the less John thought of them. It during the start of his final year at college and in October. John now at the ripe age of twenty-three. John felt like he had changed in the past year for the better.

He hadn't grown any taller, he was almost certain he had gained a few more speckles, he had definitely gotten in better shape, John had kept his hair short since he had first cut his pony-tail off and was smiling more. Days felt brighter.

It was then on one crisp day that John had to go into his department at college to talk to a tutor. After doing that and heading out of the building his gut dropped when he saw her. Peggy Schuyler sat there on the small brick wall texting away by herself. John bit his lip and he felt himself ache. It had been so long since they had even laid eyes on each other let alone talk.

John remembered how he had tried to reach out to her a year ago and apologise. She had shut him out and John knew he deserved it. As John slowly walked on he kept looking over at her. Peggy had lost weight, she looked tiny and her long hair was gone. It was this little curly pixie cut in her natural dark brown colour, half her fringe covering her face.

She dressed differently now too, no longer in crazy pastels and bright colours. Nope - Peggy was there in black jeans, heel boots, long tan camel coat. John batted his eyes at her, she looked so much more mature.

John stopped in his tracks for a second and he wondered to himself. He gripped the strap of his backpack and sighs. A sorrowful look casted over at Peggy and John is turning his heels in her direction.

It must've been his looming shadow that made her look up and John almost flinched when her wide brown eyes met his. She still looked the same, still pretty. Although her make up was toned down now and she no longer had her snakebites. When Peggy realised who it was her expression went cold.

"Pegs" John said gently.

Peggy's eyes actually squinted. She looked defensive yet a little hurt all at the same time. Well it had been ages but John imagined that she hadn't forgot either. For a moment John was lost for words, he stood there twiddling his fingers on the strap of his bag and he's scratching the side of his head. Looking to the side for a second or two. Thinking of what he should say.

Then John darts his eyes back to her, he offered her a delicate smile. "You, uh, wanna grab a coffee?"

She drops her gaze and looks around, anywhere but at John. "What is this John?"

With a little heave of a sigh John says, "Well this is... awkward"

"Isn't it just" Peggy huffed and blew her fringe out her face as she did. "What do you want?"

John shrugged and he goes "Just trying to win you back, say, I'm sorry" John tells her and sits down beside her there on the wall. "Even though it's been almost, nearly, a year?"

"Your timing is shit"

"I know" John says to her. Peggy's big brown eyes scanning him up and down. John wants the earth to eat him whole, her gaze could be so much icier than Angelica's and Angelica could be scary at times. "And I'm an asshole, I know."

"Yeah, you are." She said, then Peggy is turning back to her phone.

"Pegs, I am sorry. I really, truly am."

But Peggy didn't look as if she was taking it in. John gives her a gentle nudge and it has Peggy looking up at him frowning. But she looked as if she couldn't stay too mad at him. Her frown was weakened by the sympathetic look John sported. God, they used to be so close and look at them now. Broken.

Their silence filled with the rustling of the crisp leaves above them, the near by cars and chatter from other students who passed by them. Peggy pocked her phone and she looked back over at John.

"You cut your hair off?" Peggy asks in question.

This was her way of making up John took it. She wanted to know, her curiosity still got the better of her.

John gives her a small smile as he nods. "I've got, a lot to tell you. Please, if you'll hear me out."

Peggy looked reluctant and she was standing up off the wall. Wiping off anything that may have soiled her coat and jeans. John stands up after her and he's batting the side of her coat down. Peggy gives him daggers and John stands back, refraining himself getting a good punch if he pushes it.

"So, coffee then? My treat." John asks her cautiously.

Peggy snubs him and shakes her head as she looks up to the sky in a mood.

"I'll even throw in a brownie, one of those pastrami avocado panini sandwiches you like? He offered with a faint smile. "No?"

With the roll of the eyes Peggy slings her bag over her shoulder. "I've got a class in the next hour, you better make it quick."

Grinning John puts his hands in the pockets of his coat and gestured his head in a direction. There was a Starbucks close by thankfully. "Glad to have you back Pegs"

"Like I said, Laurens. Make it quick and make it worth my while." She snapped.

John had the nerve to actually giggle, regardless of the evil glare Peggy casted. "Anything for you, baby girl"

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Over the next couple of months after Halloween, Christmas and New Year. John had somewhat regained the Schuyler sisters' trust and they were slowly meshing back together again. From nights out, restaurants, pizza parties over at Angelica's place and generally hanging out. They were close again.

John spent the Christmas of his last year at college with his family back in Charleston. John convinced Martha to come with him, to spend a week in New York, let her hair down and said the short break would be good for her.

Martha did so they flew back over to New York where they hung out with Peggy, Angelica, Eliza and invited Hercules who brought his new girlfriend.

They hit up the town, had a laugh and celebrated until five in the morning. John was glad his sister came, Martha mingled well with the Schuylers and Hercules couldn't believe just how beautiful Martha was. His staring earnt him a good elbowing from Angelica and his new girlfriend. John got Martha back on a plane, dropped her off at JFK and they had another tearful goodbye.

But it was during March when John was clearing out his dorm, because he was almost done with his course that he realised he would be graduating in the summer. John was rooting around up on the top of his wardrobe for one of the boxes that held his old tablet. The same one from his first year and as he got this box down, John almost skidded off the stood he was stood on and half the content of the box went flying on the floor.

"Fuck" He muttered to himself. A sigh and John stepped down off the stool. He knew it was his own fault for doing this in socks.

As he gets down he drops the box on his bed and he's grabbing everything that fell out. Old books, textbooks from his freshman year and pens. That was when John saw it, the little box. Arching up a brow, John grabs it and he's standing up properly from his crouched position. He flips open the box and John's breath hitched.

The ring.

The silver promise ring.

Alex and Lafayette's gift.

Immediately John felt his eyes go glassy, he couldn't believe this. How could he have forgotten? It had been over a year now. A full on year since he had last seen them and two years since he got this ring off them for Christmas. Their promise, that bond they offered to him, love and support. The same pure love that they had tried to give to him which John had pushed away.

All the hairs on his arms went prickly, John got goosebumps. He's slowly taking it out of its velvet cushion and as his breath turns raspy. John gently slides the ring on to his marital finger.

His lips wobble and his face crumpled into a pained expression. It had been so very long. John admired and stared at the time for what felt like hours before kissing it, the three shiny diamonds glimmered in the early evening sun's glow that slid out of the slits of his blinds there.

Three diamonds.

All along, they had known John would be apart of them. It made sense now. It all made sense!

John couldn't hold it in and he's chuckling, sniffling as he did and his eyes were watery now. "Damn, Laf. You're clever. You always knew didn't you..." John murmured to himself. "You knew I'd stay, even from the start."

As he pressed another kiss to it, John's smile mellowed and he walked up to his window. He's staring longingly out of it at the city skyline. The sky a pretty shade of yellow, blue and pink in some kind of cotton candy twist. Even the moon was out, it was very vague though, transparent, but there. John thought about them both. Ever since he had last spoken to Alex, after their call, John had decided to just let it go. Focus on his career, his friends and family. His life.

He had hoped they would reach out and they hadn't. So it made John realise for certain, it was him. He had to reach out this time. Go that extra mile. He knew that Alex and Lafayette wanted him but John needed to prove to them that this was it. He had to have them because if he didn't this longing, all this sadness he carried would just make his heart even heavier than it already was. But forever, John couldn't have that. He needed his loves.

He still had their keycard to their apartment but after all this time, John didn't think it was appropriate to just show up unannounced. It did cross his mind that Alex and Lafayette may have found a new sugar baby or a new boyfriend. Still, John was going to try anyway and if it came to the worst then at least he knew. It was better than never knowing at all.

So John sits back on his bed, he's still glancing at his ring and he grabbed his phone. Ignoring all of the rest of the stuff around him on the floor and bed. John is hell bent on getting up Alex's profile on Facebook since Lafayette didn't have any social media accounts. He unblocked Alex and Alex never really ever updated his Facebook, his picture wasn't of him since he was off about certain people finding him too within his work field.

The pair of them were very fussy about what they put on the internet since it could affect their jobs. John sighed when he realised he was no longer friends with Alex and couldn't spy on his profile. But John remembered he was friends with Washington, Burr, Martha and Sally. Those who he had met at their party that night.

John raided their profiles for anything at all about where he could find Alex and Lafayette within the next week. John could easily phone them and ask to meet up but he wanted to surprise them both. Turn up, spill out what he had to say and they take off from where they left. It was dumb but then again, so was he.

Slowly John was giving up hope of finding anything but he did notice on Sally's profile, he saw someone comment on one of her latest status's and they mentioned how everyone from where Alex worked were going to this venue next weekend. Then after there they would be heading to one of these new bars downtown. John screenshot all this information and the conversation with Sally in the comments. John bit his lip, it was so wrong to do this but he had to.

"Sally Hemmings, you are a lamb." John said to himself. "Here goes nothing"

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When the next weekend came John was freaking out. He hadn't told anyone he was going to this, sure he had told Martha and Peggy about the situation with his boyfriends. After telling the whole story to Peggy she had been a lot more understanding and supportive of John now that he had opened up properly. Martha told John to just get back with them and be happy.

So he was going to do just that.

John slipped into a nice shirt, some black jeans and shoes. Quick shave, jacket on, wallet, keys and phone. He had everything. Smelt good, hair was up in a little bun. He had a bit of length to keep it in this miniature, Peggy hated it but John didn't mind it. He was going to grow it back out again he had decided.

Peggy had said to him 'thank fuck' and 'your ears stick out too much with your hair short'. John could only laugh, how he had missed this bitch.

Although John didn't really have a given time for when they would all be turning up at this bar. John left off at around eight and turned up at half-eight that evening.

The bar nice, modern and new. The type of place where you only could get your hands on an overpriced cocktail and a good beer was practically nonexistent. John rolled his eyes at the sight of the screeching women in their fancy workwear, gushing and swatting each other. Swapping bets on who was going home with who from the company tonight.

John wished they would change the music too. The dodgy foreign music they were playing was nauseating and try-hard. As he looked around John was just taking the scenery in. He didn't particular dislike the place but it wasn't really in John's choice of bars. Too snotty.

It was packed full of employees from Alex's company it seemed. It was incredibly busy, John casually strolled past them though. He didn't suffer from as many panic attacks nowadays thankfully. Somedays were worse than others but John found that he could deal with crowds, people in general much better than he had before.

At first John is looking around in the hopes he can catch a glimpse of Alex or Lafayette. Nothing. A woman's laugh caught John's attention, he knew that laugh. It was Martha's. She had this particular laugh, unique and obnoxious. Where Martha was John had high hopes of Alex and Lafayette.

He followed that laugh and pushed through the swarms of people to get to it. John huffed and puffed as he dodged, manoeuvred and skidded past people. He almost crashed into some guy with his girlfriend, their drinks almost soiling one another. John was given a nasty glare and in return John gave one right back before hurrying off without even giving an apology.

Now John spotted Martha although she didn't notice him since she was chatting away to other colleagues and John's shoulders slumped. There was no Alex or Lafayette though. John's worry got the better of him and he was chewing the bottom of his lip. "They have to be here" He murmured to himself. "I was so sure..." 

As John turned his direction his stomach flipped when he noticed Jefferson on the other side of the crowds. Jefferson charming three poor women who were obviously doing their best to win his affections and praise. Jefferson looking down on them with that snobbish smirk, a martini in his hand and pranced around like he owned the place. John felt anger rise in him when he and Jefferson locked eyes. 

He hadn't forgotten how that slime ball had tried to molest him and get his number despite knowing he was taken. John's eyes hardened on Jefferson and Jefferson wrapped his arms around either of these girls necks.

Jefferson then gave John a cheeky wink and smirked at him. It was all a game to this guy, he was completely full of it. John didn't have the time for it. He was about to give Jefferson either a sneer or a one-fingered-salute. In the end John didn't want to give him the satisfaction and walked off. Jefferson wasn't worth his time and never will be. 

Then as he turned and figured it was time to probably grab a quick drink before he bailed. That was when John saw them. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John's heart stopped.

 

 

 

 

 

 

There they were.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alex and Lafayette laughing together. They're at the bar. It's jam-packed but John could see them still. Lafayette's height towering others with his sheer elegance that he carried constantly. Beautiful, proud, acute and he glimmered like a bright shining star. Alex a couple of inches below him, handsome, radiated intelligence and sharp as ever.

John inhaled and breathed out slowly. He had no idea how this was going to go at all. John squeezed a hand in his pocket, he could feel his promise ring and twiddled with it as he walked up to them. He was doing this. 

As he got closer to them, John noticed differences in his lovers though. His eyes narrowed a tad, Lafayette looked different with his shaggy curls down for a change. He never usually wore it down. John wondered how long he had been wearing his hair like that. John's insides dropped when he saw Alex though. Alex looked a lot leaner, smaller. His hair slightly longer by the looks of it in a neat low pony-tail. 

So John decided to say it. His palms were sweating, his heart racing and his nerves were getting the better of him. He needed to do this. It had been so long, half a year at most. He was right there, a couple of feet from them and John's mouth wavered.

His tongue burning and his eyes were stinging. He couldn't cry now, not now. Jesus. 

John fiddled with his promise ring again, here they all were, three diamonds on their band. Together like they should be. Bound, shining all at one and never parting from one another. John hoped to the fucking gods above that this would never happen again. He never wanted the ache, pain and regret of leaving them again or them leaving him and also hoped that they would accept him.

Take him back. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey"

 

 

 

 

 

It's simple and quick.

It's enough to capture Lafayette's attention first, his eyes leave Alex and he's stopped mid-sentence. Lafayette's smile faltered, his dark brown eyes wide. It was like Lafayette had seen a ghost but at the same time here was comfort in them.

Alex was the second to turn to him, he did it slowly, gradually and his eyes were on him. Alex was stiff as a statue and in the same shock as his husband. It was like time had frozen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

All eyes on him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

John was going to freak out and panic or so he thought. He let out a small chilled breath, he kept it easy, it was going to be okay.

So he offered a small and pleasant smile. His hazel eyes were going glassy again, they were too hopeful. "It's been, quite a while, since I've seen y'all"

His southern twang hadn't quite left him, John kept in touch with his siblings all the time now. It wouldn't leave no matter how hard he tried. Alex and Lafayette looked at each other then turned back to John. As they did, John saw the way Alex's brow furrowed that tiny bit. He was irritated. John knew he was annoyed. Too annoyed. John knew he had turned up out of the blue, unannounced, no warning. Nothing.

But Lafayette just remained stunned. As if he couldn't quite believe this was happening, John, their John had come back. 

Lafayette was the first to speak though. 

"Mon cherie"

His handsome face in utter shock then it turned into joy, adoration. Lafayette casting him that same smile that would make John's breath hitch and cause him to fall apart.

John did as well, he's letting out a small gasp under his breath. He's opening his arms automatically for Lafayette. He's nothing but love for them both, wants them and his openness must've shocked them. Alex's eyes glitter but immediately go back to hostility. Lafayette returns John's affections though, his face warm and sleek dark eyes soft. 

Their eyes connected, two souls entwined wit each other. Lafayette is leaving Alex's side and immediately pulling John into a hug. Alex remained unmoved.

John makes a small squeak, cutely, as Lafayette squeezes him and John gives a crushing hug right back. Not as strong as Lafayette's but it was enough to show he had missed him. John bravely pops a quick kiss on Lafayette's neck since his face is buried in it. It must've caught Lafayette off guard since John felt him stiffen, but then the fingers raking the back of John's neck show he appreciated it.

"Lafayette" John says, quietly, enough for only Lafayette to hear.

Lafayette mutters a small "John" into his hair and his breath tickles the backs of John's ears. Chills wash over him. 

As they break apart that was when John sees Alex stood there, by the bar, staring at them.

John can't read Alex. Alex looked unfazed, distant and reserved. John knew Alex probably still didn't trust him. Despite him confessing, it was obvious. Alex was still affected by his actions. John had to change that, he gives Alex a little smile to coax Alex into speaking to him again. It worked.

Alex stands up properly from the bar and tucks a hand in his pocket. He's scanning John up and down for a second. 

John felt so small at that moment.

"Hi John" Alex said cooly. Unfazed.

John could see by Alex's body language that he wanted to keep it at bay. His face blank of any emotion, Alex didn't crack his usual full on grin. The one that always made John's insides turn to mush. The very one that had captivated John when they first met. It was just a brief twist of the lips of what looked like a weak attempt at a smile. John doesn't really know how to act, Alex was always the ball of joy in the room. The man was an actual walking, talking sunshine usually.

Even so, it didn't matter. John still wanted to gulp Alex into a hug, squeeze him. Tell him how just how much he had missed him, Lafayette.

John thought to hell with it. He's going in for the kill, he tries to hug Alex, arms out, dimpled smile on display and adoration filled in his eyes. As John tried to hug him, he was surprised when Alex stepped back, instead patted John's arm in a piss poor affectionate manner. Batting John away from him. John's stomach dropped completely. He never thought the day would come when Alexander Hamilton would shun him.

Alex withdrew his hands in his pockets, Alex continued to keep eye contact with him, his big brown eyes never broke away. John's expression weakened and his smile faltered. It felt so awkward. Lafayette noted this and so he goes back to John. Lafayette is gently turning John, sweeping down ever so and worming his hands around him. John's heart leapt.

At least he still had his Papa.

During their embrace, Lafayette cast his husband a glare, one which John never saw since his eyes closed for a moment and Alex darted his gaze away. Evidently showing his discomfort with John back.

John's pawing Lafayette's back, he couldn't get enough of him. Tugging on his jacket, face buried in Lafayette's neck and John kisses it. He's kissing Lafayette on the cheek. Then taking hold of his cheeks, his thumbs swirling on his perfect as ever scuff and John's kissing him full on.

Alex watches them in the corner of his eyes as he's turned back to the bar. Obviously showing he's keeping out of this ordeal and leaving them be. Eventually they all grab a booth upstairs where it was quieter and had another bar, less busy. You could hear yourself think and speak. The atmosphere better with decent music and a more chilled vibe. 

Lafayette and John spoke the most. John got the drinks in, it was the least he could do. Alex forever scanning him with his dark big brown eyes, sharply, almost as if he was waiting for John to fuck up again somehow. Lafayette helped John bring the drinks over.

Alex sat there, arms crossed, legs crossed under the table. He quietly thanked John and got his phone out, showing no interest in John's return at all. 

John tried with Alex all night but nothing. Still he was grateful for Lafayette bothering with him. Showing him that he was still welcome. 

After a mouthful of this pink, shimmery cocktail Lafayette had ordered, he grinned once more at John. Lovingly, tampering his long fingers through a straggly loose lock of John's hair. He tucked it carefully in place behind John's hair. Already John was going red. "It is lovely to have you back" Lafayette says, sweetly. "Isn't that right, Alexander?" Lafayette then looked over at his husband, his eyes hard on Alex, forcing him to speak. 

Alex looked like he wanted to scream. But he gives a nod, he's not even looking at them as he's taking a mouthful of his beer. "Mm, lovely." He didn't sound like it was. 

In the end John had enough of it all. The attitude, the mean looks and cold shoulder he'd been given all night. Not to mention the tension between Alex and Lafayette, them having this little silent war with each other. He would rather them all just address the elephant in the damn room. So John belt up his fears and decided to just say it. 

"Alex" John lets out, softly. Alex gives him a jerk of the head and looked at John unimpressed. Arms still crossed. "You're pissed at me, still, aren't you?" 

Lafayette cut in. "Mon cherie, Alexander -" 

Then he was cut off by Alex. "Yeah, I am." 

John bit his lip and nods. He understood. Lafayette sat back, sighing. He looked at Alex and shook his head. But Alex ignored Lafayette. 

"What is this John?" Alex snorted. "You hunt us down after a year and want to act like nothing happened?"

Now it was John's turn to splutter and frown. "Alex, you said we were all on a break. That it was okay to come back and try again? I-I don't understand."

Lafayette sits up straight and he's looking from John back to Alex. He's downing the rest of his cocktail. "Alexander, you did tell John he was able to return to us when the time was right." 

Alex sighs. His frown fixated on John, eyes hard and filled with hurt. "It's not just that John..."

"Then what is it?" Lafayette butted in. "Our John has done everything you have asked him to do. He has confessed, we have had a break. Alexander he apologised, what more do you want him to do?" 

"I don't know!" Alex hissed. "It's all a fucking mess, though, isn't it!"

John's shoulders dropped and he looked hopeless. Lafayette noticed this and swiftly switching his eyes over to Alex. Clearly losing his own patience. "Do not start" Lafayette gritted out. "I will not let you begin to send him mixed signals. I won't let you hurt him."

Both Alex and John looked remotely shocked at that declaration. Lafayette standing up for John. Alex looked pained, that his husband could even think such a thing and John was touched. Lafayette standing up for him through everything they'd been through. Even in the shit of it all, his Papa would do this for him.

Alex threw his head back on the booth seat, frustration etched on his face. "Like he hasn't done that before!"

"That is over and done with!" Lafayette snapped. "Alexander, sort it."

"Laf" Alex hissed. 

But Lafayette wasn't having it with Alex today. "Sort it" He repeated, dangerously. 

Alex gaped like a goldfish for a moment and he's lost for words. John sat there confused, hurt, unsure if things would even work out for them all at this point. John was starting to loose hope in them all ever reconciling. Lafayette shot his eyes to John there beside him, he grabbed John's hand under the table and swished his thumb over the top of John's hand lovingly. John felt a bit better and appreciated the support. 

Then Lafayette continued to glare at him. "Alexander"

Alex spluttered with "And I want to! I do! But - I can't."

John didn't understand.

"Can't what?" Lafayette pushed. He nudged Alex under the table and Alex groaned. There was no getting out of this now he realised. 

Alex shoots his gaze back into John's direction. "I'm sorry, but, it's going to take time." Alex mumbled, giving daggers at John. "I can't just act like nothing happened"

The atmosphere around them turned heavier and John knew this would have happened either way. They all needed to -

"I think we should talk, all of us. About everything." John said to them both, firmly. "Properly" 

Lafayette put down his glass and nodded along with John. "I agree, we should. We have a lot to discuss. Don't we, Alexander?" Lafayette's glare on Alex urged him to talk. 

Alex looked at the pair of them, from John's sad hazel eyes and his husband's hard stare. Alex gave another heavy sigh.

"Sure, fine. Fine." Alex looked as if he were bracing himself. "Lets talk." 

With that they left the bar, hopped a cab and fled out into the night back to the penthouse. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR! 
> 
> It is 2019! Yay! I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas and New Year. I had to talk a break from writing since I was busy over the holidays and just taking a break from writing in general is always healthy. I am close to finishing this story, not yet but almost, there is still a few more chapters to go. 
> 
> Thank you so much for the support and comments! Means a lot to me <3 
> 
> My tumblr is: littlepinkphoenix.tumblr.com if y'all wanna chat then hit me up there! X


	20. WAITING

It felt so foreign being back at the penthouse.

The place hadn't changed that much apart from a replacement of the old long drape beige curtains which were now deep red. A new rug, John was sure there was a couple of new art pieces on the wall by the large bookshelf too. It was all still as stylish and cosy as he last left the place though.

John breathed in that same musky honey vanilla scent that always lingered. One of those fancy candles from Jo Malone that Lafayette always bought. Pricy but worth it. Alex basically barged past John, their shoulder subtly bumping into each other and John didn't miss that short cut look from Alex when this happened. The annoyance only made John feel like he was intruding.

His body language showing his withdrawal and standing there in the doorway caught Lafayette's attention. Alex was slipping off his jacket as he watched his husband hold the door and coax John in. He hung up his jacket quickly on the hanger and walked off towards the sofa. John awkwardly tousled out his own jacket and Lafayette got out of his coat too. He's hanging it up and kindly taking John's before throwing them up next to Alex's.

Lafayette walked on first to where Alex was on the sofa and John trudged behind like a puppy in trouble. Lafayette looked over his shoulder at John, smiling softly, gesturing for him to come over and sit down. So they did. John on one side, Lafayette in the middle and Alex on the other opposite John.

Alex recrossed his arms, he had already kicked off his shoes and slid on his grey slippers from under the coffee table where he usually kept them. Some things never changed. Alex looked directly at John, on guard still, John was staring back at him but it did get too uncomfortable and he had to look away. Lafayette is there glancing between them and he slowly starts off with, "Right, I think it is best we get through this mess."

"Yeah" John agreed with him. "- Lets" Then bravely he's looking back at Alex.

Alex said nothing. Instead he fumbled with the loose frayed thread on his shirt and waddled his knee as if he were waiting. Mostly thinking. 

"John" Lafayette began. "As you know, Alexander told you that we were to all take a break. He told me a great deal about what you had said and I for one, am truly happy you have come clean with your feelings." He's smiling fondly at John.

John can't help but beam himself. "Everything -" John stopped mid-way and he can feel his throat tighten. It hurts but he manages. Lafayette waited patiently and Alex tilts his head, that irksome expression still never shifting once off his face.

"Everything I said was true. I know, my intentions were terrible and when Alex told me you weren't doing so well either. I just... Laf I know I hurt you, just as much as I hurt you, Alex." Alex nods, still pissed as ever. His glare literally burning right through him.

John could feel his hands shake. He took in a deep breath before he continued, eyeing the pair of them who were waiting. John reeled in another breath and said, "I didn't want to, but, I didn't know how else to deal with my feelings. I was so, insecure about it all."

He was sure Alex's harsh frown loosened a tad once he had said that. Lafayette mouth twitches and his brow tightened. "I did and still do have feelings for you both. I just felt too scared to show them."

After a small pause, Alex heaving out a small breath and John clearing his throat since his voice had broken, yet again. Lafayette's the first to say anything.

"But why were you insecure?" Lafayette asks him gently. His smile still there but his eyes looked dimmed.

"Because, I felt like, I was going to be replaced. You two, you're rich as fuck. You could have anyone else, I'm just a student from bum-fuck ville. I'm replaceable -" John says, his voice was already croaking up. Lafayette's brow furrows. Alex continued to keep the side of his head rested there in his hand as he listened. "I don't want to be, though."

"And you aren't going to be" Lafayette tells John, complete certainty held in his voice and his eyes firm. "No, Cherie. You never were replaceable and _Je suis très sérieux_." Lafayette added, he's looking to Alex during his addition of french before looking back to John. "We would never, I am telling you this now. Never, do such a thing."

"I feel like I've messed up, big time." John said softly. "And like you both, hate me now."

"We don't hate you" Alex cuts in, he sounded bored. "Never did and still don't. But we can't take any more mind games, John. That's all. I mean, if you can't deal with this, if this all really bothers you. The front door is there -"

"Alexander" Lafayette snaps, baring his husband daggers. "Do not say such a thing!"

"Well it's true! I'm giving him an option -" Alex snapped back. 

Lafayette looked so miffed with Alex. John panicking, he hated when they argued and he did not want them bickering over him. So he quickly cut in.

"No, no. Alex is right." John said.

Lafayette's gaze softened on him and Alex remained looking bitter.

"I understand, I know I messed you both around. I won't do it again. Ever." Then adds. "I promise." Alex gives a slow nod, he's dropping his gaze to the floor, staring at his sippers and the rug from what it looked like. Lost in his sea of thoughts.

Lafayette gives a small sigh. "If we were not serious about you, my love. We would have never pursued you and asked you, in which we did, a year ago. To ask you to be involved with us in an established relationship."

Alex nods at his husband's words, then in such a way, pipes up and shamelessly asks, "And another thing, I have to ask though, can you deal with me and Laf in bed together?"

"Alexander" Lafayette gives Alex a small jab in the side with his crossed arms. "Must you be so crude?"

Alex frowns at him. "Well it's true! He's been bothered by our marriage since day one. You're my husband, Lafayette -" Alex hissed. Lafayette sighed.

"I was with you, _first_ -" John felt his insides crush, Alex wasn't wrong though. He knew that. "I married you, y'know, I can't act like this all doesn't get to me. It does." Alex complains, he's shooting an accusing glare at John and John stiffens. "I told him, soon as we started dating. That we're married. He knew what he was getting involved in. I can't deal with the jealousy -"

"I'm not jealous!" John snapped. "Not of your marriage, I'm jealous b-because I want to be involved in it!"

Oh, John could feel his face burn up. Alex looked surprised and Lafayette did equally too.

But this is what he wanted. To be a part of what they had, to be included and for them all to love one another without each one of them feeling singled out. John wanted this connection to work, properly.

"I want what you both have, to be in it with you. I know you two have your own thing but -" John chews his lip for a split second and says, "I'd like to be part of that, in some way."

Alex's face dropped.

"I want it too" John said in a shy voice. Then just as John was about to withdraw away, he's reeled back in again by the squeezing of Lafayette's hand and Alex piping up.

"Jack" Alex says, his eyes go like melted butter on him. "You should've said!"

"I have to agree with Alexander, Mon Cherie, you should have told us." He squeezes John again.

Then John blurted out, "I don't want to be your sugar baby! To either of you -"

Alex rolls his eyes, exasperating, "Oh here we go, fuck me. You're not a sugar baby!"

"Technically he was" Lafayette threw in, Alex glares at him in response.

"I was! I don't want an arrangement! I want to be with you, both of you, as your boyfriend." John fired out. "Just your boyfriend, only as your boyfriend. "I never gave a shit about the money, Alexander. If you want it back, I'll withdraw every last penny back to you, right now."

John got out his phone as he's wittering on. Lafayette is looking between them both, stunned and unsure of what to do. Alex leans backwards and crosses his arms, sighing. "I never spent a cent, that wasn't mine. Incase you're wondering. These past few months, I've been living off what I made at the shop and my trust fund -"

"Wait, you have a trust fund?" Alex asks, his face shocked. John forgot, he'd never told Alex once about his fund.

Lafayette looked bewildered too.

"Off my mother, before she died." John said.

There was another brief pause between them all. Alex waved John off clearly uninterested in the money matter. Lafayette was unsure of what to say. 

John's throat felt scalded admitting this all to them.

"I never needed the money, you were the one who wanted to start that whole arrangement. I never cared about the cash, Alex. I wanted to date you because I liked you. I thought, if I didn't take it up then, maybe, you wouldn't want to be with me. That, maybe, you wanted to be with me because of the arrangement and not because you genuinely wanted me."

"So, that is why." Lafayette says, quietly, it sounded more or less as if he were talking to himself.

Alex just remained looking confused.

"I just want a normal relationship, I don't want it based off of money." John mumbled, hunching his shoulders before letting them drop. "I've seen what money does to people, changes them." John thinks of his father and when he got that promotion after their mother died. "Just you both, that's enough. That's all I want."

Then Alex leans forward, his face crumpled with emotion and he says, "Us?"

It sounded like Alex couldn't really believe what he was hearing. Their John, the same guy they had met over two years ago, socially awkward at twenty-one and finding his way in life. How he had changed, mostly, for the better. John wasn't exactly overly confident but he was far better than he had been. He could talk to them, that's all John had wanted to do. Be open, say what he wanted.

If he had done this sooner, none of this would've happened.

"You're being real, right?" Alex asked.

Lafayette swished a thumb over John's fingers, another little squeeze came.

“I mean.... how can we even trust you again?” 

John tipped his head to the side, sadly staring back at Alex. He couldn't believe Alex even had to question that. John loved them both so, so much. Lafayette was looking back at him too intensely. John also shifts his gaze to him and smiles before shifting his eyes to Alex. "Please, try" John tells them.

Alex looked to Lafayette.

”Also I am being real, Alex.”

But John also had to ask himself. He could feel his breathing become ragged and he's bouncing his gaze to them both.

That silence, it was nauseating. Horrible.

"What about me?" John asks, meekly. "Am I?"

Then Lafayette stifles a small laugh and he's reaching to grab John's hand there beside him. "Oh, my. Mon Cherie." Lafayette sighs. "Yes, without a single doubt. Enough, you were always more than enough for us.” 

Alex finally broke out into a tiny smile himself, loving yet still held some sadness to it. "John" He says softly. "Yes, you are enough"

To hear that though. He was enough for them, actually enough. It made everything okay and John felt a sense of peace emerge over him. Things were finally settling back to how they were. Their missing piece of the jigsaw finally back in its place.

They all smiled after that. Warm, content smiles.

"I just want us, you both, coming home from work one after the other. We chill, we argue over what show to watch, cook dinner together, go places,  we live our lives and we're happy." John says, gently. Between looking at them both and he squeezes Lafayette's hand back, bounces it a little too.

"I don't want to make this more difficult than it already has been. I'm serious about you two, I wish I had realised that you were both serious about me at the start."

Lafayette said, "I want that too"

Alex then chipped in and says, "Mm"

After all was said and done. Lafayette asking John about what he had been up to over the past year and Alex silently just listening in. That was when things turned serious again. Lafayette slaps his knees, it echoing the room capturing both their attention and sits up straight.

"Right, we must talk about one more thing." Lafayette announces, his voice stern, commanding. Both John and Alex direct their gaze on him. Lafayette crosses his arms and legs. He's looking mostly at John though. "The last time you were here, the situation was very, distressing. Wasn't it, John?"

John nodded. "Yes, it was." Then he's shooting an accusing look to Alex.

Alex glared right back at him. He looked cut up about it, his dark big brown eyes moving from John's almost in shame. Lafayette gives Alex a nudge with his legs. "Mhm" Alex let out.

"Goodness gracious, no. Alexander. Not 'Mhm', I want you to speak properly - drop the attitude!" Lafayette boomed.

Alex flinched.

”Stop acting like a brat!” Lafayette snapped. Alex fumbled with his fingers on his sleeve and hurt etched on his face.  John remembered how much Alex hated arguing with Lafayette. What Alex had told him about their past and that it broke Alex up whenever they bickered. 

Just when they thought Lafayette had stopped with his scolding, more came. Lafayette was instantly leaning over to Alex. Finger in his face. 

"It is not fair, our John came back to us. He has taken time out and spent it with his family. He has refreshed his mental state." Lafayette lectured.

Alex nodded along.

Lafayette nudges him again and this time Alex pays attention.

He looks up at Lafayette and to John. "He has apologised for his actions, it is time you did as well."

As he bit his lip, Alex sighs and he's got his head in his hands for a moment.

Breathing heavily, stressfully and John worries if Alex may cry. He sounded really shaken up. "Alex -" John starts softly, but Lafayette holds a hand up to him.

"No, no, Cherie. Let hin do this, he must." Lafayette tells him. His sleek sharp eyes land on his husband beside him.

"- We have spoken about this Alexander. You said you would, apologise for your behaviour."

"Laf -" Alex tried.

"You promised me! Now, fucking, do so."

John's eyes were the size of planets. He hadn't ever heard Lafayette swear before. 

 

 

Well. 

 

 

 

Never in English. 

 

 

 

Alex must've been moved by his husband's plight because he was talking next.

 

 

 

"Fine" Alex says.

 

 

 

He scowls for a moment and then it softened, he looks over to John. Alex couldn't stay anger, even if he tried.

"Jesus, okay, okay. Me and Laf, we've talked about, y'know. How it all fell on its ass when we argued. John, I should never have laid a finger on you." Alex tells him, tone serious and sympathetic. "It was completely, out of order. When I get mad, I just can't really control myself and I know, it isn't an excuse. Honey. I know that and I promise, I won't do that again. I'm so, so, sorry."

Alex did look sorry. John could see it in his faces and he knew what Alex was like when he got going with his temper. He ran his mouth, said and did dumb things. Lafayette remained silent as they spoke it out. 

John's brow furrowed for a second. "It's okay" John tells him. "Alex, I wasn't too bothered about that. I know you would never hurt me." Alex just nods, he's sweeping a hand through his messy bun and John sees how Alex's adams apple wavers. Lafayette smiles softly at John.

"I should never have shouted at you either Laf" John said to Lafayette. "I'm sorry I told you to 'shut up'. It was wrong, not when you're always so, good, to me and you're an amazing person. You didn't deserve that. Neither of you did." John's eyes flicking between the pair of them. 

Lafayette just chuckled lightheartedly. "John, it is in the past. You came back, you proved yourself. That is all I wanted." 

John's hearted and smile melted at him. Alex kept his gaze to the floor. 

Then another thing popped in John's mind.

"I need to know something else" John asked.

Lafayette's brow lifts and Alex's weary eyes didn't even budge from him. "What's that?" Alex asks.

"Sam" John said.

 

 

 

He sees the look of dread on both their faces.

 

 

 

 

"Who is he?"

"You mean, who was he" Alex snorts.

Lafayette budges him.

"How do you know about Samuel?" Lafayette asks him.

Alex leans back and rolls his eyes at his husband. "How else? Jefferson probably told him."

"He did" John says. "When he came to the party, he told me about him, how you used to date him. He said things went wrong. Can you please, tell me?"

Lafayette turns to Alex. "You should tell him"

Alex doesn't even hold back this time. It's as if he had been wanting to tell John. "Five years ago, we had this intern at my place, twenty-eight, bit of an idiot. Got involved with him, tried to start an arrangement." John felt his heart hurt at that.

Alex must've have sensed how it bothered him too because he's got the same pained look in his eyes. "Jack, it wasn't like how it was with me and you. That prick caused a lot of damage, he was really negative, spread lies and -"

"He was violent" Lafayette added in bitterly. "Samuel would abuse Alexander"

John could feel the anger brewing. How dare this Sam guy ever even lift a finger on Alex. John wished he knew this Sam, he would've raised all hell on this guy.

"What?" John spat.

Alex rubbed at his nape again. He's looking to his husband, annoyance on his face over Layette telling John that. Yet some thankfulness remained for having such a supporting husband. Alex nodded.

"Laf stepped in, we had to get rid of him once and for all. But he was still at the company, the kid paired up with Jefferson. They spread rumours about me. In my defence, I sent an email -"

"Which was one of the most absurd movements you have ever made, Alexander." Lafayette shakes his head and puts a hand over his face.

"But I had to!" Alex argued. "I needed to save my name, I couldn't have some dickhead trash everything I've worked for. Not just for me, Laf. But for us, we've been over this."

"Yes, you are right." Lafayette removes his hand and sighs.

Then John had one more thing to say.

"Did you ever fight back?" John asks, meekly.

Alex shook his head. "Only with words, I didn't want the accountability of being branded a psycho." Lafayette places a hand on Alex's thigh, he rubs it up and down lovingly. "I'm not like that"

"I know" John said softly. "Alex, I know. You're not an aggressive person. But don't beat yourself up about what happened with us, when we argued. Look, it's my fault for not saying how I felt sooner. I hurt you both, I never made things easier."

Alex sighs, he's looking to his husband for help. But Lafayette shakes his head at Alex. "You must talk to him, Alexander. You always complained about communication with John, now he is trying and you shun him."

"No it's just -" Alex stops, he looks back over to John, bleakly. His voice wavering. "I didn't think you would come back to be honest"

John shuffled from his seat on the sofa, he's slumping down on the floor, shuffling over infront of them both, Lafayette and Alex shoot each other a quick look. John's on his knees there on the rug. Sure, John feels a slight tinge of embarrassment sneak up on him but he does it anyway. It was so out of his character to be so bold.

He takes one of their knees in each of his hands and squeezes them. "I want to make this work, properly." John said, shyly but confidently all at the same time. He had to show them, tell them they meant the world.

John's swallows thickly and continues. He's looking at either of them in the eye. Lafayette's curious yet firm expression. Alex didn't look as hopeful though and it broke John's heart. But he could change this. Prove it.

"I want to be with you, both." John says solidly. "I love you, Lafayette Marie-Joseph Paul, uh -" John had to pause for a moment. He see's the ghost of a small smile play on Alex's lips and Lafayette is already grinning widely. He knows he's probably fucked half his name up. "Yves, um, Gilbert du Motier and I love you Alexander Hamilton."

"Oh, my darling." Lafayette chuckles, his laughter ringing the room. He ducks down and is wrapping his arms around John's neck. "You did well, Mon Chou. Although, I must correct you, it is Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier de Lafayette"

John presses a kiss on Lafayette's cheek. "I'll learn it, properly, I promise."

As Lafayette remains chuckling, John leans in forward towards Alex with puppy dog eyes. Alex still looked uncertain, his hostility crushed John. It really did but John couldn't let it get to him.

"Can I get a kiss, please?" John asks Alex, quietly.

Alex sat there looking at him blankly.

So when John got no answer, he smiles softly and cheekily, says, "Fine, I'll just have to keep kissing you then. Till you start talkin' to me."

Lafayette snorts laughing when John shoved forward and is pouncing on Alex there on the sofa. He's grabbing Alex by the cheeks, Alex buried there in the sofa, John gripping him firmly and forcing him into a passionate kiss.

Alex's eyes were wide, he's looking at Lafayette, stunned. It didn't take Alex long to just melt into the kiss, he had missed their little one so.

With it all Alex couldn't resist the urge to swarm his arms around John's lower body. He's cradling John tightly with him there on top of him, John's adding his tongue into Alex's mouth one minute and then peppering kisses around Alex's face.

"Oh my" Lafayette hums, a devilish grin pitched on his handsome face.

Alex was practically in hysterics on the floor almost from all of John's kissing.

"C'mere" John chuckled when Alex was trying to wriggle away. "C'mere now" They were almost falling off the sofa and Alex had slid down, which ever direction he tried to sit up, John would push him back down and kissed him into the sofa. Lafayette couldn't stop his laughter and clutched his stomach.

Alex finally managed to pry John off of him for a moment and John bumps his head into Alex's forehead where they're both heavily panting. John's laughing as he does.

"Fuck -" Alex says breathlessly, he's looking John right into his glistening hazel eyes. Complete with adoration.

John presses one last sweet filled kiss on Alex's lips before breaking away and sitting up on his knees. Alex lay there between them on the sofa catching his breath. He ran a hand through his disheveled pony tail and slid it out so that his hair was fully out as he tried to compose himself. Lafayette gives John a glance with a smirk and it sent John's gut a frenzy of butterflies.

"Careful, Mon Cher, he is back and I believe our John, is feistier than ever," Lafayette sang.

John snickered.

"That right?" Alex hums, he's looking up at John.

"Oh, you better believe it" John giggled. "Gonna give you all my love from now on, you wanted it Alex. So you're gonna get it."

Before Alex could even protest John is leaning back down and is buttering Alex's cheeks, forehead and lips in supple kisses. Alex is buried by John once again in the sofa and Lafayette laughs as he watches. "Love you, love you, love you -" John chants. "Love you, Love Laf, you and Laf -"

Lafayette let out a small 'Aw' as this happened. Alex was gradually kissing John back and giving in to him again.

"Not gonna leave either of you alone now" John told them. He looks up at Lafayette whilst kissing Alex and pulls away saying, "Ever"

"Jesus" Alex heaves, he's trying to get his breath back from all the kisses. Having John there on top of him, peppering him with nothing but affection. This was so new. Alex looked out of it. "Holy fuck"

"How was that for you?" Lafayette tunes in, cackling away again over his husband's expression.

Alex just blinked. "My god" John licked his lips in response to that.

Then John is shuffling forward and yanking Lafayette by the collar. He pulls him forward, Lafayette's eyes widen ever so while John is pushing into him. He was surprised when John led the kiss, licking his way into his mouth and pushing him back slightly. But Lafayette's larger frame kept John at bay and held him by this back.

Alex still underneath John, sandwiched between his thighs and he's watching both his husband and John make out over him. Alex bit his lip, his eyes fixated on both their mouths moving in tandem. So perfect and pretty there above him. All the wet smacks and wet noises had the corners of Alex's lips finally upturn.

When Lafayette and John had finished their little session that was when Lafayette noticed the pair of eyes them. Lafayette drops his first on Alex and then John follows. Alex is there grinning quite happily and proudly at them.

"What's with that face?" John asked.

"Nothing" Alex said lightly. "Just watching you two, that's all. Keep going." John's brow raised and he scoffed.

Lafayette tilted his head at Alex and said, "Is that a smile I see?"

John grinned too. "He's totally smiling - he's super into it, huh, Alex?"

"Finally" Lafayette groaned.

Alex balled his eyes at the two of them before he sits up and John is shuffling off him. Lafayette sits backwards so Alex has some room to finally move. He looked rough with his dark long locks in a messy wisp, his shirt crumpled up from his and John's romping. Alex is patting down his hair as he's looking between his husband and their boyfriend.

"You came back with some vengeance, huh?" Alex said when he's raking his fingers through his locks to straighten them out. John offered a hand and he's fluttering his fingers through Alex's hair too. Evening out all of his unruly strands. Lafayette rubs a hand down Alex's side lovingly.

John pecks one more kiss on Alex's lips and stands up there off the sofa. "Mm, I did."

The pair of them watch him as he does. Things were settling down between them all but John felt like he still needed to break the ice somehow. Wean himself back into their relationship and what they had before gradually. It was too soon to engage in anything further he felt.

He pulls out his phone from his pocket and flicks up his UberEats app. "Dunno about you two, but I'm starving." John says, subconsciously scratching at the back of his nape.

"Right, what do you two want? Gotta feed my men."

Alex lightly snorts and repeats "my men" under his breath. Lafayette nudges him as he chuckled and scolds him in french.

Not realising his own hair tie had gone loose during his goofing around with Alex. As he scratched away his hair tie slipped out and his bun came loose.

 

 

 

Then was a shrill pair of gasps.

 

 

 

 

John shot his eyes away from his screen and back to them both. "What?" John asked, he suddenly feels extremely self conscious. He's looking at them both warily. Their faces though.

"Mon Cherie! Your hair!" Lafayette practically screams. He covers his mouth with his hand. Shocked.

Alex's mouth dropped, "Holy fuck"

Oh, so that was it. John couldn't help but laugh and there he was thinking it was something else.

"What? You two don't like it?" John raked a hand through his short curls.

Lafayette immediately shakes his head, he looked appalled. Then he's looking to Alex who is just staring at John with wide eyes. "Alexander, do you see this?!" Lafayette asks his husband and he's looking back to John. Why?!" Lafayette whined. "You had beautiful long hair!"

"The hell!" squawked Alex.

"I'm surprised you both didn't notice earlier" John says, carelessly, shrugging. "It'll grow back."

He saw Lafayette's face twitch and how his hand slowly left his mouth. Alex moved forward to John and he reached out a hand so he could take a small curl of John's short mop.

He pulled it gently and released it, both of them watching it spiral into its original form. John's heart fluttered at the gesture, when his and Alex's eyes locked, John saw it. That glimmer they shared, there was some hope after all for them.

"John" Alex griped. " _John_ "

John beamed at him cheekily. 

"How could you!" Lafayette heaved.

"Ah, hush. It's only hair." John giggled. "Damn, y'all so dramatic. I swear."

Alex gives John a small boot in the shin with his socked foot. "Watch it"

Lafayette leaned back into the sofa, he's staring continuously at John with that gleam in his dark eyes. John notices and raises his brow at him. Lafayette rubs at his scruff for a moment and says, "I suppose we will get used to it"

After Lafayette and Alex proceeded to play around with John's new cut, eventually they were able to order in some food. Once they had all eaten their take out lounging around on the sofa, trash TV playing and a bottle of wine to share.

John grabbed out his phone from his pocket, he dozily glanced at it and while the room was dim, the bright screen hurting his eyes. It was past midnight now. Lafayette is there next to John with an arm around him resting on the top of the sofa. He must've picked up on what John was doing.

"You are welcome to spend the night, you should know this by now." Lafayette tells John sweetly. John looked up at Lafayette with big eyes, a tad of surprise in them. Lafayette stifles a small laugh. "As always, what is ours, is yours."

"Are you sure?" John asks, quietly.

Alex was in the kitchen washing up some of the plates and glasses they'd used. John looked over at Alex and then back to Lafayette where he had Lafayette leaning down, capturing John's lips into a tender kiss. Then another and one more. John hummed into the kiss, the soft grittiness of Lafayette's scruff rubbed against his chin.

"John" Lafayette sighed softly. The look on his face telling John that he didn't need to be asking.

John kissed him again and grins into it. Before mooching his arms around Lafayette's waist and their kiss heated up. Tongues exchanged whirling themselves around each others mouths. John had missed Lafayette's skilled technique so much.

The way this man touched him, a Parisian beauty. Lafayette always managed to make his world spin, sent him dizzy with such an overwhelming buzz.

They were almost carried away until Lafayette ended their kiss and roamed a hand at the back of John's head, scuffling his hair as he did. John saw the coded look in Lafayette's hazed eyes which told him that this is fine for now. It was late anyway and John was still debating whether it was wise to stay or not They had just gotten back together after all.

Lafayette gets up and straightens him out. He darts his gaze to John after he has a big, long stretch. "Ah, yes. I best go grab you a pair of spare pyjamas."

Usually they never needed pyjamas but it was only day one. John smiled, nodding and took hold of Lafayette's hand, squeezed it one last time before Lafayette did the same then bounded off into the bedroom.

 

 

 

 

 

After Lafayette left John looked over his shoulder at Alex there in the kitchen. He was fluttering around with the washing up, putting things away and generally tidying. But John knew Alex was taking his sweet old time so that he could keep his distance. Alex didn't even look back over at him. He appeared to be in his own world away, lost in his trail of thoughts and John guessed it was based on their future together.

With a small heave John gets up from his spot on the sofa and he's trailing over to the kitchen so he can go join Alex. John tosses the empty beer bottle into the trash as he passes it and he's heading over to Alex. They're both silent, the television playing in the background for some noise still didn't mask the awkwardness between them both.

Alex was putting away a few dishes there into the cupboard and as he did. John goes in for it.

Bravely he rests his chin on Alex's shoulder and snakes his arms around Alex's waist. John can feel the way Alex stiffened and it threw another dagger into John's heart.

Alex never would have flinched away or gone cold from him touching him before. The old Alex would have had John right there, bent over the counter top, butt-naked and screaming his name at the top of his lungs. Now it was so different and John knew he had to accept it.

Ever the slight height different between them, only by an inch or two, Alex being that bit taller and John lacking behind just under six-foot. He buries his face into it and presses a soft kiss on Alex's nape. "Missed you" John says softly.

Alex places a hand on John's there as he's holding his waist. John moves closer so he's at Alex's ear, his lips grazing Alex's lobe. John see's Alex has put one of his studs back in. John smiled to himself, he loved Alex in his old piercings.

"Daddy" John carefully says, he isn't sure Alex even wanted to pick up from here. He had to test the waters. But John could hear the ever so quiet sigh Alex made. Probably even unsure himself if he wanted to continue with what they had before.

"I missed you." John repeated firmer, his voice cuter, lighter.

"Sure" Alex practically whispers. At this John's expression crumpled ever so. 

He hated how Alex didn't seem taken by his words. "I have" John tells him, his eyes shining as he did. "So much"

Turning Alex looked back glumly at John there wasn't much spark in Alex's big brown eyes. John's mouth bobbed slightly as he wasn't sure what else to say. He had already apologised, told Alex he loved them both. John had came back to them.

"You know how I feel" John all but whispers. 

Hazel eyes locking in with brown and they're emotional gazes are so powerful. John tilts his head to the side, his brow knitted and he's trying. He feels so needy to want Alex to just want him back. His gut was twisting and the worry was all over the place.

"So you've said" Alex tells him. 

"Then why..." John murmured. "You said I could come back" 

A sigh from Alex and he shrugged. Alex looked at breaking point.

Unsure of what else to do, desperately, John lunged forward taking Alex's cheek in his hands, his scruff rough on the base of his palms and John kissed Alex full on. Leaned them both into the counter top.

The kiss was passionate, meaningful and yet apologetic. Alex wasn't as responsive in his kiss and when John realised he was probably trying too hard, he pulled back and he's searching for something in Alex's eyes. Anything to know that Alex still wanted him. That it was going to be okay.

Alex bit his glistening lips and the corners of his mouth upturned a little into a small, rushed smile. He took hold of John's wrists softly, their gaze never broke as this happened and Alex drops John's hands. John noted the small brush of Alex's thumb on one of his wrists though. It felt like a promise of something more could bloom, for now though, John knew he would have to wait.

After that Alex moved away from John, he was walking away, leaving him alone there lingering in the kitchen. John watched Alex fly up the stairs and how his office door clicked into place.

Sadly John slumps against the counter and he's holding on to it with his head down. No matter what John had tried, nothing worked.

Alex just didn't want to be around him. When the soft footsteps of Lafayette emerged, John heard him come up to his side and he was pulled into a tight hug. Lafayette leaned his head down, his scruff resting into John's curls and John buried his face into Lafayette's shoulder. He smelt like musk and white lilies.

"He can't stand the sight of me" John mumbled sadly. "It's ruined, I've ruined everything."

Lafayette drifted his long fingers into the back of John's hair and nestled them lovingly. "Ah, my love. Little John, Alexander will realise things are the way they should be. This is the first day of your return after such a long period. He will grow used to you again."

"But what if he doesn't want me back?" John's croaked. "Laf, I love you. Know that? I love you and I love him. Alex was my first real boyfriend and then you. Losing him... the thought of it happening again. I can't."

John could feel the burning in his eyes and he knew tears were due. He held them back and sniffled aloud. Lafayette pulled John in closer, tickled his hair and popped a kiss on his forehead. John's freckled cheeks flushed and he shakily sighs. 

"I never want to go through all that again" John choked. 

Lafayette hummed and says, "Nor do I and Alexander most certainly does not want to either." 

"God" John said, he's glancing up at Lafayette with worried eyes. Lafayette sympathetically looking back into his. "What do I do?"

He held John for a couple of moments. They're stood there and rocking together. Both their lithe frames drift in a soft pace, John went with Lafayette's league. They swayed to the sound of the news on the TV. Lafayette jotted gentle kisses on John's head as John wiped at his eyes in their corners. 

"Time" Lafayette murmured. 

"Hm?" came from John.

He felt the sudden soft squeeze from Lafayette. "Alexander needs time" he says, voice like wool. "I promise you, sweet one." 

John cradled his face further into Lafayette's neck and his breath must've tickled him, Lafayette jilts a little but he never lets go. As John looks down he notices his ring there on his hand and John twists it just so the diamonds capture the kitchen light. They twinkle beautifully and that was when John remembers. 

 

 

Lafayette was always right. Alex would come back to him. 

 

 

 

They were meant to be, the three of them.

 

 

They would stick together and shine.

 

 

 

Their love was magic. 

 

 

 

"I know" John said back, he's nuzzling into Lafayette as he did.

 

 

"I know you won't break it" 

 

John then closed his eyes as he held onto Lafayette. For now all he could do was wait. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are finally working out... YAY! 
> 
> Je suis très sérieux* = I am serious
> 
> Thanks so much for your comments and support guys! Means a lot to me x


	21. REWIND

Over the next couple of weeks John was gradually working his way back into their lives. With Alex's poor attempts at affection, they consisted of shrugging John off him whenever he was hugged, not properly looking John in the eyes when John tried to kiss him or hold him.

Alex not being able to really stomach being in the same room as John before getting up and going to his office. Leaving a gloomy John and a frowning Lafayette cuddled up together.

Lafayette on the other hand was a whole different story. He had spoilt John with more love than John could imagine. It was as if nothing had ever happened between them.

From sharing baths together, grocery shopping together, movie theatres  with one another. Lafayette hoisting John up on his lap there in the whirlpool bath and fingering the life out of him. Cooking together, talking about what had happened in their lives recently, movies and playing games together on Lafayette's days off.

Despite how lovely it was being with one another they both wished Alex would stop being sore and join them. Nothing changed though, Alex remained proud.

But when Lafayette had to leave for Dubai on a business trip with work that left Alex and John by themselves. John had actually asked Lafayette if he really had to go, he didn't want to say goodbye to his boyfriend so soon after them getting back together.

He felt clingy since John had bothered Lafayette constantly while Alex shunned him. Not to mention John wasn't too hellbent on the idea of being stuck with Alex either. Not when he always had a face like thunder around him.

"Laf" John groaned.

It was Sunday and the two of them were lazying on the sofa in front of the TV. John budged up to Lafayette while re-runs played. Lafayette was typing up an email on his phone and John was leant against him. With a small sigh, John planted his face bask into Lafayette's small tusk of chest hair. "Don't go" He murmured.

"My darling, I will be gone only a week. It will pass quickly." Lafayette tells him. "Until then, you must focus on completing your studies. Beautiful. You graduate soon and me, Alexander cannot wait to celebrate!"

John smiles weakly at that. It was true, John didn't have long to go until he finally finished college. It was crazy, he had met them both in his first year and he was already finishing everything. How time passed.

Often, it made John wonder if running away had been the best thing he'd ever done. He wouldn't have gotten this far back down South or ever met his two gorgeous men. Perhaps it had all been worth it. The tears, the big bust up at home. Maybe it was fate.

And then John is looking up at Lafayette with big sad eyes. He pouted just to pull at Lafayette's heart strings. In return Lafayette arched a dark brow at him.

"Papa" John whined quietly.

Lafayette laughed at him under his breath. "You will be fine" and he's tousling John's mop of blossoming curls.

John huffed against him. "Hun, you're leavin' me though" John said. No longer was John afraid to start throwing pet names himself, he felt right at home when it came to Lafayette. He was his, his and Alex's. They were all each other's or so, John thought.

Then Lafayette chuckled more, he pulls John closer to him and leans down, pops a loving kiss on John's forehead. John winces but smiles at the brittleness of Lafayette's scruff tickle him. He hated it but loved it all at the same time. Then he's sitting up and looking into John's eyes.

"Ah, I am certain you have become more sweet and adorable during your absence. Non?" Lafayette said as he grinned.

John rolls his eyes yet smiled back. "Told you, I've always been like this. Just wasn't sure how to - uh. Show it?"

Lafayette lets out a soft 'aw' and ruffled up John's mane of fluff again. "Sweetest thing" Lafayette hummed. "You don't want to be alone with Alexander, do you not?"

"I don't, no." John griped, his voice losing all its softness and his gaze fell sharp. "He's still being a grumpy bastard"

Well Lafayette fell out laughing. John jilting along with him as he laughed. "I'm serious! Laf, everyday it's the same. I try with him and I get nothing back." John pouts to himself. "I feel like we'll never be okay"

And this caught Lafayette's attention because he's stopped laughing. He sighs again, holding John and rests his chin on top of John's short mass of curls. "But it will be, mon amour"

John leans into him and he goes to putty within Lafayette's warmth. He's sulking, sulking bitterly like a child. "We will be fine, it will be like how it was before, darling. I can promise you that."

It was like weights were in John's pockets constantly though.

He presses a tender kiss to Lafayette's lips, mouthing a soft 'I love you' under his breath, just enough for him to hear and Lafayette says it back in french. Not that John minded. 

And he goes back to resting his head on Lafayette. 

How he wished things could go back to normal faster.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It was the third day without Lafayette there with them and so far it had been quiet in the penthouse. A little too quiet for John's liking since Alex was usually the life of the party in this place. Always singing at the top of his voice horrible, laughing or talking.

Well, it hadn't been too quiet. John had heard Alex go off non-stop when he was on the phone to some client. Usually John would get on with his work there on his laptop in the living room. Alex would come down the stairs, witter on down the phone as he passed John to head towards the kitchen.

John would always feel Alex's eyes burning on the back of his head from Alex over the counter. Chatting away to whoever it was while he was making himself coffee. It was petty - John chose to ignore it.

Then there was another little dig Alex would make here and there when John offered to cook dinner. Alex sighing, rolling his eyes and saying that he hadn't realised John was sticking around until Lafayette came back. Also saying that Alex had expected John to have fled by now.

It would grind John's gears but he would let it go or when John offered to make Alex a hot drink. Also snippily snatching it from him or ignoring him, not giving John an answer as to whether he wanted one or not.

But this was all starting to fully piss John off now. He got it, he messed up. But he was back now, new attitude, new confidence, a better outlook on life as a whole and he was staying.

It just felt like Alex was the only one who hadn't moved on.

By now it was already Thursday and Lafayette was due home on Sunday night.

John was counting the days, it was awful really. He didn't want to be so eager for him to come home just so that John wasn't around Alex's stank behaviour. This wasn't Alex, not at all. He knew Alex was being hard on him for the sake of it. He wanted him back, his daddy, his love.

So when it had turned seven that evening and John had finished himself a bowl of cereal since he couldn't be fucked cooking. He had so much work to get on with, another day of practically sitting on his ass there on the sofa getting his animation sorted, thesis and other side projects at the ready.

He didn't see why he should cook when Alex was being a jackass. John saw no point, none. There would be no thanks and Alex would ignore him anyway.

As John was finishing up his third cup of coffee that evening - John made sure it was his last. He didn't want another repeat of being up till five am again. Falling asleep on the sofa and waking up there in his oversized hoody, boxers and socks, hair all over the place.

John hadn't been sharing the same bed as Alex. Before Lafayette left off he had made up the spare room for John since John protested sleeping next to Alex. It hadn't been easy for Lafayette since the spare room was just filled to the brim with boxes, old books piled up, gym equipment and other things the two had stashed away. It really needed sorting

Although John had tried to sleep in the same bed as Alex on the night Lafayette left. But Alex had stolen half the cover, on purpose and had slept right on the very edge of the bed away from John. Poor John, who had tried to snuggle up next to Alex at first when he had got into bed.

Hoping by wrapping an arm around his boyfriend, getting all cosy would help solve things. It helped, nothing. Only for John to be shunned and left alone there in the middle. The old Alex would have been crazy over John being this bold.

After that, John stormed off up to the spare room and made sure he slammed the door in return.

As for tonight, John was hellbent on getting his stuff done and grabbing an early night for a change. He gets up, has a good full stretch before heading over to the kitchen. While John is strolling along, he starts to feel a great deal of stiffness in his calves. So John shakes them out and it's also in his arms too.

The pain was still there and it was something John had started to pick up on recently. He took no notice of it and carried on to the kitchen. Once he rounded behind the counter and into the kitchen, John's grabbing himself a glass and going for the tap, he decides on water instead. His mind felt so foggy this evening for some reason.

After a good and long intake of water, John puts his glass down and he sees Alex making his way down the stairs heading his direction. Great, John thinks. Just what he needs.

Alex remained impassive looking as ever.

He worms himself around the counter top and behind it where John was currently standing. John watched Alex flip on the kettle, he's grabbing out the milk in the refrigerator and slamming it down on the side. He doesn't look at John once, he's pretending John isn't even there. John fills up his glass with more water and takes another long gulp as he's watching Alex.

The atmosphere felt so, so awkward. Neither of them speaking, John knew Alex had a million things running through his mind. He knew Alex - Alex wanted to say something. He just chose not to and would rather stay a mood. The joke was on Alex at the end of the day John thought, he was open to them taking off where they left. Alex was only making it difficult for himself.

He was the one suffering this time.

Trying to play off as if he didn't care about John anymore. He did, he damn well did and he knew that even John was aware of that. Alex and his little shenanigans were fooling no one. John just wanted to break him, crack that shell, knock down that wall. Because, what would it take. There was no way Alex could continue this facade.

John bites his lip and he drops his eyes to the floor. His turtle socks in view, he knows theyr'e childish and lightly too small for him but he didn't care. Even having Alex not make fun of them anymore hurt. All the little things, they didn't happen anymore. No more, tickles or teasing from him. Nothing.

He then glances back to Alex who was tossing some coffee granules into his mug before adding the milk. Usually he took his coffee black but not today it seemed. John hadn't even noticed this change, since when did Alex start taking milk?

 

 

 

 

 

It hurt.

 

 

 

 

It was stupid but it hurt.

 

 

 

 

John's stomach churned at something such as stupid as not knowing that Alex now took milk in his black coffee. How much had he missed when he'd been gone?

So John swallows thickly. His throat feels prickly and tight but he has to break the silence, this awful, suffocating silence between them was unbearable and them not even speaking. John could feel his soul crushing, slowly by it. He needed Alex, so bad. He craved him, anything. Just some acknowledgement, anything. Being ignored, it hurt like hell.

Otherwise, John felt like he was better off not existing at all.

"You use milk now" It was a dumb thing to come out with but it was better than nothing. John watched Alex stiffen at the question in his voice. John waited for an answer but nothing came. Alex curtly bobbed his head in response, he was pouring in the hot water.

The silence now filled with the hot slurp drizzling slowly into Alex's mug and the kettles low roar in-between.

"You never used to" John said lowly, his hazel eyes lowered and he's leaning against the counter top with his glass. John's fingers tapper away on it as he's thinking of what to say next. He wonders just what condescending or cocky remark Alex will have shooting out of his mouth next.

He waited but oddly - nothing came.

Alex was opening a drawer, grabbing out a teaspoon and began to stir away at his drink. John observed as he did. He watched the spoon go round and round, in circles.

Hypothesising him almost. Then it made John realise, that's what his relationship basically was at this point.

Going round and round, never meeting in the middle. If one went one way, the other went the other way. Constantly they were chasing after each other, never really stopping and just loving one another, equally. Properly.

Well, it had to stop. It needed to change.

All of a sudden the stirring stopped. John's heart leaped and once Alex finished. John is panicking inside, he didn't want Alex to walk off away leaving him alone downstairs all night again.

He watches Alex take a quick little sip of his coffee, grabbing the milk, shoving that back in the refrigerator and he's walking off.

Nope.

John couldn't let him.

He can feel the tears burn at the corners of his eyes, he's needy and John knows he is.

He's lovesick for Alex, he just wants to be loved by him again. His first love, Alexander, a bold immigrant orphan, who could sweep anyone off their feet with his laughter, his charm and could build you palaces out of paragraphs. He had the talent of mozart when it came to words and writing. Alex could easily wean anybody in with a single sentence and turn that into a love note.

The man who brought him out his shell, who made him laugh, who shown John that there was more than being a little turtle inside his shell on a big old sandy beach.

How he shouldn't fear that roaring sea, the seagulls in the sky and the sharks in the ocean. That was what life was about and there was a big adventure out there waiting for him.

Alex had coaxed John from his shell. He had shown him that instead of imagining a world of danger, to envision a tropical paradise. To make the most out of every second, to be confident, to love himself more. That was what Alex had been trying to tell him all along and John always thought Alex was nagging him.

He just wanted what was best for John.

Well, John understood that now. He got it.

But Alex, his Alex could captivate anyone, he was the life and soul of the party. A walking beam of sunshine. John just wished he had appreciated him a little more at the time. Still, what was done was done.

John loved him so much, it crippled him to death.

"You always took it black..." John trailed off, mostly to himself. Not knowing Alex side-eyed him for a split second before making his way around the counter island.

When John got nothing, suddenly a big bubble of anger overcame him and it popped. Right there and then. Emotionally, John flipped out, he's aggressively slamming the glass down, John's surprised it didn't shatter in his hand and spinning around to watch Alex go.

"So that's it!" John shouts. Alex stopped in his tracks, he's furrowing his brow at John, his nerve to appear confused bothered John. As if Alex was the one in the wrong here. John's bottom lip wavered and his adams apple bobbed.

He's shaking, actually shaking. "You're just going to keep this shit up?"

Alex heaves a small sigh out his nose and he's scratching his forehead. He looked as if he didn't have a clue what John was talking about. That only added fuel to John's fire. "What're you on, John?" Alex asks, sounding bored.

"This!" John's voice, cracked as he cried, he notices Alex's eyebrows knit and his expression turns to a somewhat softer, hurt look. "Ignoring me, night and day. Oh, let's not fucking forget how you basically shove me out of bed, turn from me, you won't talk to me, you push me away when I try to kiss you, I can't even hold you -" John's breaking.

Again, it's happening again.

"I get nothing from you"

He just wonders when things will go back to normal. When things will be happy again, light and positive. When they could all get in bed at the end of the day, kiss and just love each other, all of them. This process, healing, it was agonising for them all. Alex just made it that bit harder though.

Alex watches him, his big beady brown eyes looked hollow and empty. John assumed he didn't even care from the way he was looking at him.

God it hurt.

"You - we don't -" John couldn't get out what he wanted to say. When he struggled, Alex strolled over closer. John's clenching his fists, he feels like decking Alex. Good and hard for doing this to him, putting him through this pain.

"You don't even look at me anymore" John mutters. "Not the way you used to, Alex. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, how do I make it up to you? You won't even give me a chance."

At this Alex shifted slightly, he's walking over to the counter again and placing his mug down. He leans on the counter, crossing his arms as he does and keeps his head bent down.

John sees Alex's mouth twitch around, he's pacing himself, thinking of what to say to John's plea. Nothing came.

Alex moved upwards again, he's holding on the counter top's edge and sighs. John's eyes were filling up, he hating being like this. Working himself up into a state of despair and disarray.

John wanted Lafayette.

For Lafayette to come home, hug him, kiss him, make love to him and tell him it was all going to be okay. That at least he could mend his heart, the very same one he had gave to Alex who left it in pieces.

He needed Lafayette to make it better. Tell him it'd be alright.

"John" Alex begins, quietly. "I know you came back, you kept your word. I'm grateful and glad you did. But you have to understand, things just aren't like they were."

Another knife jabbed right into John's heart. He couldn't believe this. John was using the back of his hand to wipe his eyes, then he used the edge of his t-shirt.

"You don't act like you're glad at all!" John accused.

He watched Alex shift from side to side looking skittish

John squints his eyes at him, "Don't say shit you don't mean!"

And John goes back to wiping his eyes, Alex watched as he did, his expression vacant.

After a pang of unbearable silence, the pair of them just stood there aimlessly in the room. John finally breaks it with, "So, what do I have to do?" John questioned, brokenly.

He sees Alex's throat clench up. John wondered if Alex was breaking up inside too, he didn't look like he did though.

"What do you mean?"

Then John's sobbing out, "To make things like they were! I want them back to how they were, god. Work with me here, Alex, please! I'm talking about us, I want _us_ back to how we were." John hissed. Alex's eyes drop again. He didn't look too confident. "You think I never loved you, that I never felt anything and that you thought it was all you who felt anything two years ago. You're wrong -"

Alex rolls his eyes and shoots out with, "Why are you bringing up -"

"Let me talk!" John shouts over him, he's whamming his first down at he did. Alex looked taken aback and his eyes were doe-like. He'd never seen John like this before. Taking the lead, actually fighting back for once.

"It's my turn to talk! You always did the talking, always. I want you to hear what I've got to say for once!"

Alex frowns and then it softened, he leans against the counter again. John took it as a sign to continue. So he did.

"I did love you back then Alexander." John says, his heart fully into his words. He wasn't lying.

Alex's face crumpled as John said his full name.

Whether it was Alex not wanting to hear it or he was moved, John didn't know. "I did, I always wanted to tell you. Every time we met, Jesus christ. I was always close to telling you, I wanted to confess everything, on each and every date we went on, whether it was just the two of us or if Laf was with us. I wanted to tell you both. But I already, god, I knew I loved you even after the second month we were dating. I just knew."

John's met with Alex's eyes this time. They're big, they're glassy and they've gone back to looking elsewhere. John continued anyway.

"I was just too scared to tell you, I didn't know we were in this for the long run. Didn't think it meant anything until... y'know." John said with a shrug. "Now, I can't let this go. Alex, I can't. I can't let you go or Lafayette. Neither of you. I want this, all of you."

However Alex had other plans.

Alex is shaking his head, he's darting off quick and even leaves his coffee. John's already got tears streaming down his face, his cheeks flustered and he's babbling like a goldfish. He's in shock, he couldn't believe Alex was doing this. With his eyes scared, wide as golf balls, John rushed around the counter top, following him.

"Alex" He called out. But Alex was running off. "Alex!"

"John, just - fuck. Enough. Enough!" Alex growled out. He's storming into the living room, he turns to John holding up a finger. "Enough now. I don't want to hear anymore."

"No, Alex, listen -" John tries and Alex is waving his hands around.

"I don't want to hear it!" Alex says over him. "Give it a rest"

And in a split of complete desperation John whined - he actually whines and he's jumping forward towards Alex who's in a state of awe. John's batting his fists on Alex's front, John clasps handfuls of his shirt and he's breaking down.

Alex is taking John's wrists, holding him at bay. John tries to struggle but it isn't working, eventually he loses energy. Burnt out like a tie up horse. "Stop trying to fight me" Alex muttered. John bared him daggers in response.

They're both panting heavily, heaving rabidly, as John has his head hung down, he's still trying to get to Alex.

John knew he could break out of his grasp, easily, but he felt so drained, so weak. He didn't know how much more he could take. Alex's heavily panting away, telling John to stop and to calm down. John's crying, shuddering in his hold and Alex is watching him, hurt etched all over his face.

Alex was usually a tough cookie, never really cracked often or showed vulnerability. But this time, right now and from when the time John had seen him drunk out of his mind, emotional at their party that time him and Lafayette had an argument. This was the first time John had seen Alex remotely torn up.

"Alex" John sniffled out. As John does he's trying to throw himself at Alex and Alex is keeping him away still. "Just - let me -"

"John, give it up" Alex muttered. "Enough, enough."

"I've already said I'm sorry" John wept. "How many more times do I have to apologise?"

He's gone limp now. Alex's grip on his wrists tighten a tad. John then looked up at Alex, slowly, all of the curls at the side of his face stuck to his teared cheeks.

"How many more?!"

Alex said nothing, yet again. He's quiet, gaze elsewhere, anywhere but at John. Oh and it was pissing John off. He couldn't stand this.

"Tell me!" John shouts, his voice strained. Alex flinched at it and grimaces as he does. "Fucking tell me!"

Nothing was working. Alex remained where he was, stiff, silent, stunned. John's face crinkled up into aggravation and he's making a small squealed whimper. Angry, frustrated. "You're still making me do this shit... why?!"

Alex's hand clenched tight on John, it hurt and John whelped.

"I came back! Alex, I came back for you, for Lafayette." John rasps. "Stop making me suffer!"

Alex bit his lip hard, closing his eyes and his brow knit. Even he was clueless.

"Daddy" John tried that tactic instead.

John's voice barely even audible, he sounded so small. Alex's coldness seemed to warm up when he heard that. Like a lighter against a pile of ice, it was melting.

Alex's eye lids lowered, his lips twiddled and his throat is caving in, out, in out. John stared at him with his watery hazel eyes, beaming into Alex's and it felt like the first time they met again.

A younger John with the weight of the world on his shoulders, anxious, moody and working all hours at a coffee shop. Then Alex appears, opening an entire new chapter in his life. Removing the lid over the well he was stuck inside, daylight lasering down on him and Alex tossing John that rope of security, love, hope. Everything.

 

 

 

 

John could never forget the first time their eyes met.

 

 

 

 

 

Never.

 

 

 

 

 

 

His love for Alex and Lafayette was so deep, not even the ocean had quakers deep enough. He was besotted with them to say the least.

 _"Daddy"_ John says again, this time louder, more panicky and needier when Alex could only stare back in shock. Unsure of what to say or do to John. This time John rips himself out of Alex's grasp, Alex is miles away when this happens and John lunges forward at Alex, throwing his arms around Alex's neck.

Alex jilts, huffed as he did as John knocks back into him. Alex almost toppled over there on the living room rug.

"John -" Alex all but whispered, he's holding on John's back loosely and John was clinging on for dear life.

 

 

 

 

His little hurricane.

 

 

 

 

Knocking the entire life out of him, Alex thought.

 

 

 

 

Then John captured Alex's mouth, he's kissing Alex full on. Passionately, he bullied his tongue through Alex's lips and he's swishing it around Alex's mouth viciously. Tasting every, single, inch of this man. Alex tasted like peppermint and coffee - it was the sweetest taste John had ever had. His Alex.

But Alex made no effort to kiss him back. None whatsoever, he was limp as a dead fish. Lifeless.

John slowly pulled away, his arms still hooked around Alex's neck and he's staring into those piercing big brown eyes of his. Brow crumpled when he saw Alex's nonchalant mask once again. Emptiness. Another arrow to John's heart was fired.

"Kiss me" John told him softly.

Alex barely even pursed his lips, nothing came of it. John scowls at him, he grabs Alex's cheek, pulling Alex in to coax into kissing him back. Again, Alex made no effort and John did all the work. John moans sweetly into the kiss, Alex was silent. He stood there like a dummy - it was laughable.

Then more tears are pouring from John when he's realising it's all him. Only him.

"Kiss me, I said, kiss me, for fuck sake." John desperately says.

He's dragging Alex in again, Alex grunts as this happens and John mistakes it in his mind as a moan when it really wasn't. He breaks away, stares back at Alex and then back to Alex's lips, glistening with John's spit. John sniffled as he looked.

It really was just him who wanted this.

"Kiss me, kiss me back. Alex. Kiss me back!"

Alex was just opening his mouth to respond but John took it as a sign that Alex really was going to kiss him back.

He pressed yet other kiss to Alex's mouth which turned sloppy. Then John stops, he's going for Alex's fine neck, adding a trail of kisses along it, finished with a delicate kiss on the crook of Alex's collarbone, just starting ever so at his neck.

Alex's adams apple quivered from John's touch and he's stiffening up again. John really did think seduction was the key to fixing things but how wrong was he. John is holding Alex by his waist, steadying him there and slowly meets Alex's eyes as he raises his head upwards.

"Please, don't be angry with me anymore." John whispered, his voice small, but serious. "I love you. Love you and I love Lafayette so much."

Alex stares back at him blankly. He then says, sounding bored and very snippily goes, "You finished yet?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well that did it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After everything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John snaps.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He had no idea what came over him next. It was a wrath like no other, John saw red. He never looses it like this with anyone. Automatically though, John finds himself, smacking Alex right across the face. It came with some force because Alex's entire face turned.

It echoed the whole penthouse nearly. The slap actually hurt John's hand, he could feel his hand throbbing in return and Alex was left with a bright, red, oozing cheek. John immediately felt guilt wash upon him. He hadn't meant that.

Shit, no. Fuck, it really was over now. John's panting, his breaths were shaky and he tried to speak but no words came out.

Alex clasps his cheeks, he's gasping, wincing in pain and then glowering at John when he came back to his senses. "Are you out of your fucking mind?!" Alex belted back. "What in the fuck!"

What hurt most is that John saw that hint of betrayed in Alex's eyes. John remembered the story of Sam and how he had abused Alex once or twice before. John wasn't like that. He wasn't abusive, he didn't mean it. "I'm sorry" John gasped out, he's shaking his head, mostly in disbelief over himself hitting Alex.

"I'm so, so, sorry. Alex, I'm sorry." John could almost muster out.

And as John makes a move to try and cradle Alex's swollen face. This is when Alex does push him away, Alex clutches his sore cheek and uses his other hand to keep John away. "Alex, c'mere, please" John tries.

"Get off!" Alex snapped. "What the hell is the matter with you? You know I don't want it, yet you do it anyway. I thought that would be a bit of a hint."

Then John looses all sympathy for Alex and he's gone back to anger mode. Another reason why John wished Lafayette was home. But at the same time, this was between him and Alex. They needed to work this out without Lafayette present. It was their relationship which was rocky here. They had to learn to deal with each other at rock bottom.

"You should of said! You keep stringing me along -"

Alex snorts, he gives his cheek one last brush with the back of his hand and hisses out, "Oh, dear, grab out the violins! Well, shit. Hey! Now you know how it feels, to be led the fuck on"

"That isn't fair! Alex, that's not fair -"

"What you did to me, Lafayette, that wasn't fair!"  
  
John clenches his eyes shut for a second before they're springing open again, wild, glassy, furious. "You know I was scared, you know I never meant to hurt you both!" He growled. 

"But to say I can come back, allow me to stay here, watch me and Lafayette get back together. Then you're doing, this. You're making me beg you!" John shouted. "No more! Alex, no more! I can't take anymore of it!"

John ignored Alex's wishes and he grabs hold of Alex's wrists this time. Alex didn't bother to turn him away this time though. He just watches John turn into an emotional wreck again. Crying, infront of him and he does absolutely nothing.

"Jack, I know you're trying to make it up to me. I get it." Alex sighs, defeated. "I just - I'm struggling to still look past at what you did."

"Try! Alex, please. Just trust me and try. That's all I ask! Because -" John paused, he's looking to his socked feet for a moment and taking a deep breath. He then looked back up to Alex, brokenly. "I don't know what else to do..." John says, his voice becoming small.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Is this my punishment?"

 

 

 

 

 

Alex quirked a brow at him. His face pitching confusion. "What?"

"You treating me like a stranger, being like this, being cold -" John babbled. "Are you punishing me?"

"I'm not punishing you, no. I just - I need space."

John cuts over him, "You are, Alex. You are!"

Alex tries pulling his arms out of John's hold but John wasn't letting go. "John" Alex says, agitated. "Come on, let go. Enough."

"We had a year almost away from each other! We've had space. No, this is you being a dick." John rebuffed. Alex had the nerve to frown. "You're getting a kick out of this, aren't you?"

Alex snorted. "As if"

"Liar!" John barked.

As their piercing eyes meet once more, Alex's coldness got the better of him and he's turning his head from John in the other direction. So far John has done everything to try winning Alex over. Nothing worked.

They were actually at a dead end. A full on stop. John's heart was breaking, this must be it then. If Alex can't even look at him, let alone do anything. Then John figured they really were finishing what they had together.

As degrading at it was, John stooped low and he's hating himself for doing this. But he had to try. John falls to his knees, he lands on them with a bang and winces as he does. Letting out a small 'ouch' all while keeping hold of Alex's forearms tightly. Alex's head snapped towards him and John sees how his brow raised up in surprise.

 

 

 

 

Alright, so Alex wanted him to grovel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John was going to do it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He wasn't losing Alex.

 

 

 

 

 

"Teach me a lesson" John croaked. His watery eyes longing, hungrily burrowing themselves into Alex's. "I know you want to. So, do it." He tugs on Alex's arm a tad to get his point across. Alex's eyes narrowed, he didn't look one bit impressed. "Hit me back!" John laughed a little as he shouted. Alex blinked at him like he had gone mad, even backed up slightly from John and that pained John more seeing that. "Hit me! Slap me back, do it. Take it out on me -"  
  
"Stop -" Alex hissed over him. His frown growing.

"Punch me, Alex. Do whatever you want!" John shouted in a state of panic. 

Alex shakes his head, he looked like he really couldn't believe this was happening. Seeing John at desperate measures must've been a wake up call for him. This is how bad things were, how low they had both stooped. 

It was shameful, embarrassing for John. But he wasn't giving up. 

"John" Alex heaved heavily out his nose, then said, "Get up"

"Teach me a lesson, what're you waitin' for! You want to do it another way? Fuck me? Is that it?! -" John shouts again, his voice straining on each word. Alex looked like he was about to loose the world to live with John. "Daddy, fuck me hard. Take it out on me. "

Alex scoffed and his tilts his head backwards for a moment, staring up at the ceiling, he's shaking his head. "John" He tried again. "No, fucking, stop. Now, right, now."

John snarled at the rejection. 

"Oh give it up, Alexander. Fucking, fuck me! Quit playing the hard ass" John snapped. He's tugging on Alex once more. "I know you want to, you don't have to be soft with me and push me away. You take it out on me! I don't care! I know you're still mad at me. I can still see it in your eyes. Just - say it! You're always running your mouth -"

"What?" Alex choked, sounding quite offended. 

"Do it!" John pushed.

"Alright, alright! I am mad, still. You fuckin' brat. Jesus christ -" Alex spewed. John's stomach churned at this, he didn't know exactly what was happening but he had finally got Alex to talk.

"You're the most annoying, little son of a bitch I've ever had the pleasure to date! You're not only hard work, but you've made me and my husband run rings around you!" Alex snapped. "And my god, am I not allowed to have space? You're constantly fucking pushing me, then you've got the nerve to slap me -"

John scowled. "Like you didn't do the same to me! You were always pushing me Alex! You pushed, pushed and pushed me -"

Alex rolled his eyes. This only worked John up more. "Only because you wouldn't admit your feelings! It's like pulling teeth, Jack. Like talking to a brick wall! You're fucking difficult."

"Well, if I'm so difficult, why did you let me come back?" John snapped. Alex's shoulders slumped. John gritted his nails into Alex's arms and watched him hiss from it. "You could've said no, told me to 'fuck off'. Alex. That way I wouldn't be here, _begging_ you, like an idiot!"

"Because Laf wants you, you both want each other -" Alex said wearily. Then he stops midway, Alex looked like he was considering something. John stared hard and cold at him. Alex looked like he was lost in his headspace, gone in the wind.

He couldn't even finish what he wanted to say and this was a man of too many words.

Well, that just said it all.

John's searching in Alex's eyes, manically, looking into them, batting his lids and his wet lashes tickled his damp cheeks. His lips trembled and John hated his voice, it was so little, "And you... don't want me?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Silence.

 

 

 

 

 

"Is that it?" John squeaked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

More silence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Within him conflicting fears warred. It really was the end.

John felt besieged and so terribly battered, he didn't know if his heart could endure any more breakage.

Alex sighs and hangs his head, John watched his hair fall into his eyes. John's stomach twisted and tied in knots as every second went by. He was waiting, it felt like hours, ages even for an answer. But when nothing came, John somehow found the courage to speak.

"You don't, do you" John said, in more or less a whisper to himself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And John lets Alex go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He gives up. It's done with.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Again with the silence, it was eating John alive. In the end John slowly gets up off the floor, he staggered a little as he did, his knees like jelly and he's rubbing his cheeks with his sleeve. John's had enough, he can't do this again. He figured it was time to just pack up and go back to his dorm, stay there and await for Lafayette to return.

So they could date - just the two of them. He didn't need Alex, him and Lafayette could visit all the nice places New York had to offer. Go hand in hand to the Top Of The Rock together. Go dog spotting in central park, see musicals, go travelling - if John was lucky Lafayette may even take him to his family home in Paris.

But at the end of the day, it really was no use. Alex would always be there, at the back of his mind, always somehow involved. It was ruined either way. John knew he couldn't have his cafe at eat it.

His mind was scrambled and as John is figuring out where to even begin next. He assumed it was time to just pack his stuff then go. That was when John felt a hand on his own, pulling his gently back. John's turning and meeting Alex face to face once more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"No, I do." Alex tells him.

The words, spoken so simply, hung in the quiet air of the penthouse.

John's heart almost leaps out of his chest when this happens. The lump in his throat has no gone and he's numb with shock. Alex wanted him.

Then Alex is grabbing him by the shoulders. "Yes, I do. I've always wanted you, Jack." Alex says, breathily. "From the very start. I wanted you, I knew I had to have you. I'll always, want, you. Honey, I'm sorry. I just needed to clear my head about everything, you coming back was sudden -" Alex paused and he's reaching out to wipe a lone fresh tear out of John's eyes. Alex cocks his head a little at him and pulled the saddest of faces at John.

"I didn't think you would come back" Alex tells him, from wiping John's tear, he ends up using his hand to cup John's cheek and John leans into Alex's touch as he did. Alex exhaled a soft sigh when John remained still.

Although John's mind continued to whirl.

"But then, you proved me wrong and I think I may have told myself, that you weren't really going to stick around again when you came back. That you would leave again. I just, held up my guard. I guess."

In his chest, John's broken heart managed to finally beat. The gentle tone of Alex's voice offered a salve and he yearned for a poultice of love that would heal and not gall him.

And for the first time in which seemed like forever, John cracks a small, weak, smile. "But I'm not, Alex. I'm not. I would never lie to you both again. Never, no. Love, sweet, I want a future with you, with Lafayette." John sniffled, Alex's palm clutched him firmer, he looked in awe over the affectionate name John had given him, he looked taken in by John's new founded confidence.

Then John slowly reaches a hand to cup over Alex's there that was on his cheek. As he does, John put another hand on the bright red mark of Alex's cheek, he uses his thumb to soothe it in circles, right over Alex's scruff. Alex looked appreciative and John gives him a sympathetic look before mouthing, silently, a little 'sorry'.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And he smiles at Alex.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Alex"

And Alex was breaking into a little smile of his own. Faint, but it was there.

"Kiss me" John says, sweetly. His voice was music to Alex's ears because Alex's smile grew.

Cautiously, maybe a little bit nervously too, Alex draws himself in closer to John's lips and in an instant, tender lips brushed gently against his own.

John's thoughts were in tangles as he submitted himself to the soft petition of Alex's kisses. Alex's mouth enveloped his, his oral inquiries quickly becoming more adamant.

After a long deep kiss, Alex drew his lips away. He bowed his forehead against John's. It was as if in their exchange of tongues, John had communicated his thoughts.

"I love you, John Laurens. You hear me? I, love, you." Alex spelled out, sharply, softly. John can feel himself melt at those words, his eyes closed for a second and he's doing nothing but smiling. Alex smiled too.

Alex raised his head and placed another tender kiss on John's brow.

"My gorgeous -" Another kiss. "Sweet -" Another little kiss. "Beautiful -" John squealed at the next kiss and ends up chuckling as Alex pressed yet one more. "Boyfriend -" Alex says, breathlessly. Then they're looking into each others eyes. Alex looked proud. He looked lost in John's eyes. "My Jack"

Alex then moved in and nuzzled behind one of John's ears he whispered, "We're moving on from here, alright. Starting now, honey. We move on." Alex's sweet voice filled John's pinked ear and gentled his wild mind.

When Alex removed his hand off John's cheek. It drifted down and found its way easily under the thin white tee-shirt John heat of Alex's flesh seared and John found himself wondering if this burning touch could cauterize his torn heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alex was going to mend him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alex's hand slid up too prominent ribs to a heaving chest and rested there over the origin of John's pulse. Alex could feel the tumult of this abused organ pounding beneath his fingers: simultaneously so violent and so fragile.

"Jack" Alex breathed, he moves in on John, bending his head there, his mouth leaving a trail of smoldering kisses down John's neck, "I love you…" A gentle nip was placed on the knob at its base where it joined tight shoulders.

And Alex's soft voice entreated. "Hear that? I love you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John knew.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He knew and he was falling in love with Alex all over again. It was amazing how you could fall in love with someone again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What a ride.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Between the soothing cool of Alex's tone and the scorch of his hands, John felt something more inside himself give way, it was powerful. A feeling more intense than he's ever felt before in his life. He brought a shaking hand to his eyes and used the back of it to wipe away a new kind of tear.

"Alex" John choked out.

John felt the heat of Alex's hand over his heart intensify. He could never resist and nor could Alex. Neither of them could, throughout their stubbornness that had taken a toll in their relationship, the chase after one another, the games, they both found that they were powerless against the pure force love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Both blamed each other for their surrender.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It didn't matter who.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John was Alex's hurricane and both of them were immediately swept away, swirling away, with each other.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, don't shout at me - I KNOW it's been over two months since my last update. But hey, it was worth it right? They back to getttttt vaaaaaa! Oh what a whirlwind it's been. What a godddamn hurricane!
> 
> The part where John is on the floor to Alex has me the most because I actually saw this happen in person between a guy and girl. They were drunk - but this girl was spewing all sorts to get her boyfriend back and they made up. It was kinda heart wrenching to watch tbh.
> 
> Alright, so this story doesn't have that many chapters to go and I may be doing a sequel to this. I do have other ideas where this is going to lead and I've already panned them out. If you guys want one, let me know please! I love writing this trio! I love them so much together <3
> 
> I'm just glad all the sads are over now! 
> 
> Thank you for reading and leaving kudos/comments! As always it means so much to me! Please comment if you haven't already though! I'm always excited to hear what you guys think!!!! 
> 
> PP X


	22. CHANGE

Lafayette was thrilled when he got back to New York.

Not only had his business trip gone swell, his business making profits hitting the rooftops and a good visit to his family home there in Paris. Seeing his boundless amounts of cousins, little cousins, his aunts and uncles. Everything had gone well, everyone was fine. But to come back home to the penthouse, find Alex and John fast asleep on the sofa, cosily huddled up together there on Sunday morning.

Lafayette slipped off his scarf, when hanging it up, he flipped on the doorway light and dropped his bag when he saw the pair of them together. Immediately Lafayette broke out into a soft grin and he's making his way over to them. He figured they must've waited up for him but most importantly, they were finally back together again.

Lafayette knew things would work out between them, all the worrying on John's side and from all of the anxiety Alex held.

Both of them complaining to them about how to go about each other, them being alone was probably the best thing that could've happened. Lafayette had never been more grateful for a business trip in his life because if the truth be told, he was getting tired of being stuck in the middle.

Regardless how much he loved them both. Lafayette hoped now things would slowly merge into place and that they could go on living happily together.

As the weeks passed they slipped into a routine. From shopping together at the weekend to pick up groceries, whether it was John and Alex together doing it, or Lafayette when he wasn't working crazy hours or even the three of them together. It happened, dinner at night together happened and things were great.

To the days where they would do a whole house clean, from top to bottom together, Lafayette in one room, John in another and Alex in the next door. It got done, together and things were good, they were positive.

And not forgetting the lazy evenings in together where they ordered Panda Express or Lafayette cooked them a meal, John helping while Alex worked there at the dining table. Only to be scolded by Lafayette for hogging half the table with files, papers, spreadsheets and Alex's macbook. After Alex would huff at him, clean away his mess, things were fine in the end, they ate and they went about their night. They were good.

Then there were some nights where John wanted to hit the town with his friends. Friday nights in particular, he needed to make time for his friends, not just his daddies. He would hang out with Peggy, Eliza, Angelica, Hercules and a couple of other friends he had made. They would go out to the club, get shitfaced and Hercules, he was usually the one to put John in a cab home to Lafayette and Alex's place.

It usually ended in Alex waiting outside for the cab, a drunk John stumbling outside of it, Alex holding him up and paying the driver before dragging John inside. Lafayette waiting upstairs with a hot drink for John to sober him up and they would just put him to bed.

Hercules already knew about the whole relationship deal between them now, Hercules had totally called it a year or so ago. It came as no surprise to him. He had seen the way John and Alex looked at each other back at Java Lava.

 

 

 

But life so far was good.

 

 

 

It was going well.

 

 

 

However there was just one thing they hadn't done together as of yet.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

It was barely even eight at night and John was lounging around on the bed with his phone. He had been speaking to both Lafayette and Alex about his graduation plans. Both of them had been listening, Lafayette was busy folding some of his work shirts away from the laundry pile and Alex was lay sat next to him tapping away on his macbook.

Then Martha called and he spent a good ten minutes or so talking to her. Lafayette continued doing what he was doing and Alex was busy with business.

Finally the call ended.

"That was my sister on the phone" John sighs, he's clicking Martha's name off his screen.

"Which one?" asked Alex. 

"Marty" said John, plainly. 

Alex glanced John's way and reached out a hand to tickle John's scalp, long fingers threading through his growing curls. "She's actually landed herself a job"

Lafayette broke out into a big grin, "That is wonderful news! What will she be doing?"

Alex went back to tapping away on his keyboard, but John could see Alex's brow quirk. He was listening.

"She's actually going to be helping out at a nursing home, weekends only. I mean it isn't what she wants to do but Marty figured she had to start somewhere." John told them both.

He sighs once again, drops his eyes on her caller ID. The picture of Martha and him there together taken not too long ago at a New Years party when she came down to New York. John swept his thumb lovingly over her freckled face. How he missed her.

"She's just in a rut, needs to get out meeting people more. It's kinda hard for her to meet new people. A lot of the friends she had moved on, they're in college, moved out of town. I think one of them actually has a kid now, they're like only nineteen." John heard Alex make a full on low whistle at the last part and a mumble of 'that's rough'.

Lafayette made a low 'mmm' and then has Alex stopped writing altogether. He was now sat there full on listening.

"Is she going to college?" Alex asked.

John nods, "Eventually, yeah, she's working on getting into a one near home though. For now, she just wants to concentrate on her mental health. I have to agree with her, it's probably for the best that she does first before anything else. Father agrees too."

Lafayette then says, he puts another shirt away as he does, "Ah, your father is becoming more involved, Cherie?"

"Yeah, I, uh, managed to talk some sense into him. We made up. Things are cool now." John chirped. Lafayette goes back to smiling and that is it with his shirts.

Lafayette sits on the bed next to him, then pulls John in close into his chest. John leaned against him, nuzzling his head into the crook of Lafayette's neck, getting himself all comfortable.

Alex then crossed his arms, a bitter look on his face. "That doesn't change the fact over what he did" Alex muttered, Lafayette side-eyed his husband with a look of 'leave it' on his face. John hummed in agreement. "I still, I can't forgive him for that. He's out of order"

"Mm" says John. "I know and he knows that too. But like I said, it's done with. Guess we're all just looking to the future now?" He darts his hazels to Alex and then looks up at Lafayette with a sweet smile. Then John is craning his neck up, pecking Lafayette's jaw and is met with Lafayette's lips in return when he kisses John properly.

At the sight of this Alex huffed and he puts his macbook aside on his nightstand. He then shifts around so he's facing both Lafayette and John.

Alex curls an arm around John's waist, he's pressing a kiss to the side of John's temple. Then pressing one to John's mouth where he kissed Alex back, they broke away slowly, staring at each other and smiling.

"Guess we are... come to think about it. I suppose our sex life is also gonna switch up a little, whaddya think babe" Alex shoots his eyes over to Lafayette with a smirk.

John looked up at Lafayette and he sees the growing grin on his lips too. He has a feeling tonight is going to be quite different.

He heat was already rising in John's belly. His palms were already beginning to tingle and he's biting the inside of his cheek. John knew things were going to escalate. Yep, they were.

"I think a change is exactly what we need" Lafayette tells Alex, their eyes both bared into each others, this look they had. John's suspicions were confirmed when he felt Alex's hand slide on to the inner of his thigh. It slowly ran them there and on top of the soft bulge of John's briefs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh god.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lafayette didn't help either, he's looking down at John with this not so sweet look in his dark eyes and smiling, softly, naughtily. His hand also makes an appearance on his thigh, it's running it's course up along John's freckled leg and just stops next to Alex's, right there on his crotch.

Alex squints his eyes dangerously at John as he smirks. He then grabs John's phone, while his other hand gives his padded cock a squeeze in his briefs. John moans just under his breath. Alex slid the phone on the nightstand and gave him another squeeze. Lafayette did the same, another and another squish with his lengthy fingers. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John inhales sharply. He can feel his heart and gut do a dance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boy, oh boy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"So, little one. Are you down for it?"

He's looking at Lafayette and Alex with wide eyes, back and forth. They didn't need to ask him twice!

John's breathlessly nodding at them both. "Yes, oh, god yes." John says, panting. "I want - no, I need you both. Now."

Lafayette's has the widest cheshire cat smile, a mixture of excitement and naughtiness. John notices it, he doesn't trust it one bit. John is backing up slightly to the bed frame. "What're you looking at me like that for?" John says, sheepishly. Quirking a brow "Laf?"

"I just realised, my darling. It is the first time that you shall lay with us." Lafayette practically chirps. Alex pulled a face at his husband.

"Lay?" Alex scoffed. Lafayette nudged into Alex as if to hush him.

John's cheek redden at the thought. Taking the two of them at once - wow.

Suddenly John felt his heart's race increase.

Lafayette nods, "Yes, Alexander. Isn't it a beautiful thing? We finally get to deflower our sweet pea together." John's too far back in his thoughts, all he could think about was Lafayette inside of him and Alex taking his turn right after. His cock was throbbing just at the thought. John could hardly wait, his tummy was doing twists and knots, the suspense was a killer.

" - Oh and I can hardly wait" Lafayette finishes with a purr.

He's nuzzling into the base of John's neck. John closes his eyes as he allows Lafayette to trace a tender like of kisses on his neck, all along his adams apple to the crook of his jaw. John relishes each and every kiss as he does.

Then Alex breaks up the mood when he snorts, crudely. He's staring at Lafayette with a look of awe and laughed out, "Deflower?!" Alex cried. Lafayette lazily rolls his eyes at him as he's kissing John. John was still in his little dreamy trance. "You are aware it is the twenty-first century, right, babe? My god."

Alex shakes his head at Lafayette, although he's smiling. "The shit you come out with..."

His husband did crack him up from time to time and Lafayette shrugged, then he's gone back to lavishing John's neck, completely unbothered by his own choice in wording. "You hear that, honey? Papa's being weird."

John lets out a lengthy moan in his throat as Lafayette nipped and nibbled him. He had found his weak spot and John was in his element. Alex watches the pair his loves there beside him, John had toppled over on the bed, lost all his balance and Lafayette is towering over him. Alex bites his lip as he's smiling, his big brown eyes in anticipation of watching how this will all unfold.

"Oh, ho, ho!" Alex squeals, laughing. Lafayette sunk his teeth into John's sweetest area and John lets out another low whimpered. Clearly enjoying this. Alex even sees the way John's toes crunch there on the edge of the bed, his socked feet curling up and making a small 'crack' as this all happened. Alex smirked, he had an idea. But before anything else, he playfully adds, "You found spot, huh?"

Lafayette sucked hard at it and John whelped, his face crumpled and all his freckles suddenly looked more prominent than before. Alex chuckled, he was pleased by his response.

Then Alex is slinking down the bed, shuffling there on his knees just below Lafayette and John. While they were doing their thing, Alex wanted to try something else. Something, a little new.

As he's manoeuvring down the end of the bed, Alex thirstily licks his lips and he's eyeing up his two men there in front of him. John's sweet mewls and his husband's juicy sounds of kissing pepper Alex's ears, tingling them and that only causes Alex's cock to twitch even more. The sound was heavenly.

John's devoured in Lafayette's love which manifests over him like a raincloud. He feels light, on another realm, even. He had longed for this, to be with the pair of them taking part in acts of intimacy. It didn't matter what just as long as they were together. Now while Lafayette is sucking along John's neck, leaving yet another oozing purple love bite.

John is clutching Lafayette's back, handfuls of his top there between his fingers and he's pushing Lafayette further down on him. John can smell the pepperminty freshness of Lafayette's breath tape all over him. From his lips, to his neck, collarbones, even shoulders. He was plastered with it and it felt like heaven.

"Mn" John musters, softly. His hands go from Lafayette's back to the nape of his hair. John can feel Lafayette's small loose coils there on the back of his neck. John twists a finger around one, they're much tighter than his own, a lot more coarse, but he could still do it. John lets go of it and it sprang back into place and he's tousling his fingers through them all.

Lafayette seemed to like it, John could feel Lafayette's pace pick up move and he even shifted. So John continued to massage his nape, play with the curls and continue with his low string of moans.

Alex is on the edge of the bed where John's feet let. He's gone back to admiring them for a second and Alex giggled out, "Just look at you both -" He says with a small sigh, dreamily and says, "Fucking beautiful"

Then the next thing to happen is Lafayette shifting on John properly, it was awkward because of his height but he made it work. When it came to fucking or getting heated, it always worked, regardless of the height difference.

He's pushing his pelvis into John and it hits right on John's blooming bulge in his briefs.

Alex pervertedly watches, biting his lip, just by watching the thickness of his husbands thighs against John's much more smaller, lithe, less hairy ones. The pretty contrast of light tan and a much more caramel tan set of thighs, both together colliding somehow caused him to harden. Right there and then, Alex was tempted to whip his own cock out of his boxers and start playing with himself.

It's even worse when Lafayette pushes in again and John whimpered. Alex's eyes widen and his grin grows when he sees his husband properly go at it. Witnessing Lafayette's backside in his shorts perch up and down there right in his face while grinding down on John's crotch. Alex craned his head to get a better look at John and he melted when he saw John in a frenzy of delight.

Alex's face shattered when he heard John give a hollow 'Nnh!' out loud and the cutest 'Papa' just under his breath. Oh, it was so sweet and John didn't realise just how adorable he was being for them. John concentrated on moving his own pelvis to meet Lafayette's and soon they were full on dry-humping.

Cocks both creating the more wonderful of friction, erections hardening by the second and precum both bubbling at the tip. John could feel it seep through his briefs already, he was on the brink and soon, very soon he was going to erupt.

"You both just keep doin' what you're doin'..." Alex quietly chimed to himself. He presumed they weren't really listening to him much right now anyway. Which was just as well because Alex had plans of his own.

He's got a mischievous smile on his lips there and Alex is grabbing one of John's feet. Taking his slender ankle and Alex is soothing his foot. As John was getting on with bumping into Lafayette, trying to block out the feeling of ecstasy build up and the heard of kisses, he could feel his foot be tampered with.

A rougher set of hands slide up and down his foot, the cheekiness of playing with his toes and then going back to slide along the base of his foot.

John was trying to look over Lafayette's back over ever hump and bump they made, from each time and each moan that occurred, John caught glances of Alex.

And Alex was staring directly at him, right in the eye. Grinning.

"Ah! Oh, fuck - mm -" John let out, Lafayette only went faster and his panting eventually was all John could hear, right there in his ear and John let out another moan before trying to get out, "Ah - Alex - Shit! What - Ah" Yet another serious of knotting into his groin and John had to go back to clutching the back of Lafayette's top. "You - fuck! - doing?!"

Alex was slowly sliding John's sock off and made a small 'Aw cool! Spiderman' at the design. Because John and him were huge marvel fans of course. Lafayette not so much, but, still. Then Alex is smirking over at John who's in a fit of surprise and bliss when Alex takes John foot over to his mouth. John was trying to keep up with Lafayette's fierce plundering there against his groin and latch on for dear life. While he is trying to also watch Alex.

He does manage to see Alex kiss at his foot, he can feel it. Soft kisses pattering on top of his foot, they're supple and gentle at first. Alex is sliding a hand up and down his foot while the other holds it in place firmly.

"Ah-lex!" John moaned out, just as Lafayette came down against his crotch with a mighty pound. Lafayette was rock hard now and it was giving John's cock more than enough reason to burst.

But as John moaned, Lafayette wasn't rough but he was less gentle when he took John by the chin and he coaxed John to look up at him. John blearily gazed up at Lafayette who was looking him dead in the eye, John saw that lustful gleam in Lafayette's dark brown eyes and he whispered, _"Faites attention"_

John isn't sure what's turning him on more, Alex was starting to lap his tongue just over the rim of his toes or Lafayette huskily torturing with his French accent. It always never failed to drive John crazy.

Then John's mouth was completely devoured in a kiss, slow, sensual, beautiful and Lafayette rocked them with just enough gentleness but still enough force to keep their erections at bay. John moaned into Lafayette's mouth, he closed his eyes slowly and John went along with it. He grinds up into Lafayette's cock and Lafayette did the same, they kept on going, harder now, faster too.

Alex on the other hand was staring at them, cheekily smiling as he's started to suck one of John's smaller toes. John had such small feet for a guy his age and it wasn't even down to his height. They were sleek, slender and beautiful with lengthy lean toes. In contrast to his own and Lafayette who had monster trucks for feet, headlights for toes. John's were adorable and Alex loved them.

Although Alex did hold a little bit of a foot fetish, Lafayette and him had explored it once.

But Never again - Lafayette hadn't laughed so much in his entire life and Alex had stopped, grumbled how he had killed the mood. So now, John was being good for him, exceptionally good, though he didn't have much choice since Lafayette was practically grinding him into the mattress. It was shaking with some force down and the pair of them were making the most rabid noises.

Alex finished sucking on the first toe before shifting on to the other. He got hold of John's big toe and Alex laps at it, swivels his tongue on the top of it before gently nipping it. He chuckled as he did when John tries quenching his toes and they wiggled. Alex knew John was wondering what was up but he continued to suck and soothe his foot. Before pulling away with a wet 'pop' leaving John's toe covered in a suit of salvia.

Between John and Lafayette however, Lafayette was starting to shove down John's briefs and John started to cooperate. He did the same to Lafayette's too, he's pulling at his at the side, rushing them off around Lafayette's waist there above him and John's eyes were almost heart signs when he saw Lafayette's cock swig out of the front of his shorts.

It popped out like a jack in the box. Like a toy on Christmas morning that had been shredded of its wrapping paper and John wanted to play with it immediately. His heart raced and John's entire body went all that bit warmer. His mouth already filling up at such a treat. God, he needed it.

Lafayette's delicious brown cock, thick, hard and ready. Pink and pruned at the tip. John was immediately sitting up because he was so ready to suck him off.

Needly like a child wanting candy, John is lunging for it and Lafayette sits back. Alex bore his eyes on them once more between staring he's looking back down at John's foot and sucking yet another toe.

John pouts at Lafayette, almost betrayed in a way that he was being denied the goods. Lafayette snickered at the sight of John, his growing curls were a disheveled mane and his cheeks were all bright pink, flustered from their fiddling together.

Lafayette sits up on his knees, boxers stretched there, hanging just around his firm thighs. He's grabbing out his cock, his slim long fingers wrapped around it and Lafayette gives it a good few pumps.

"How much would you like this, now, hm?" Lafayette, was actually taunting him.

John's mouth dropped. He couldn't even - no. "Are you... hey!"

Lafayette hitches a small snort and he's hurrying each rub along his dick. John's eyes wander back down to it. "You must tell me, just how much would you like this?"

"You know how much!" John whined.

And Lafayette is shaking his head, a small sigh. Alex is eyeing them both. "You must show me, the longer you talk, little one, the longer you shall wait to receive this."

John scowls at him. "C'mon, just -" and John is trying to grab it but Lafayette moved it away.

"Enough" Lafayette scolds. John looked as if he were a kicked puppy and Alex has John's toe in his mouth, trying not to laugh at his expression. "I want you to show me, beg."

Alex's brow rose. "Wow" He said between suckling John's next toe.

John's watching, chewing at the inside of his lip before flickering his eyes up at Lafayette, who's sat up there, smirking.

"Papa" John says, slowly, carefully and a little coyly. "Gimme your cock"

And this has both Lafayette and Alex sneezing out with laughs.

Alex has a mouthful of John's toe in his mouth and his sides are heaving from the giggles. Lafayette is licking his laughs, biting them while he's giving a low laugh. John sits up on his elbows there on the bed and he's frowning at them.

This wasn't funny - he needed cock.

"Oh, Cherie. Aren't you just a delight. Funny little thing you are." Lafayette tells him, he's giving his cock another pump, teasingly and reaches a hand out to give the front of John's curls a little ruffle with his fingers.

John pouts again at him, giving Lafayette the eyes even though he knows doing the puppy eyed look doesn't move Lafayette whatsoever. "Nice try, darling. That will not work, you are only showing me just how impatient you really are."

John lets out a small groan and then whelps when Alex nips him. "Alex!" John cried. Lafayette looked over his shoulder at his husband and raises his brow to see Alex there giving John a foot job.

"My goodness, Alexander, what are you -" But Lafayette is cut off.

Alex finishes off one toe and he looks up at his husband. His hands continue to rub around on John's foot and John is in the background relishing the sensation of this. He liked it he decided.

"Oh shush! At least someone likes this" Alex says, playfully and he's giving Lafayette a side-smile. Lafayette knows very well that was a sly remark.

And Lafayette rolls his eyes at Alex. "Huh?" came from John. Lafayette waved John off and went back to playing with his cock.

Once again John is enticed at the sight of it and he's immediately hypnotised. Alex stopped sucking John's toe and put his foot back down. Alex sits up slightly and he's watching them two pan out whatever is to come next.

John pulled himself up and he's got handfuls of Lafayette's top. He's pulling it over his head quickly, Lafayette went with it. He's helping John tug it off and John was careful to mind his puff of curls. Not that it could really be helped when things got heavy. But Lafayette being Lafayette loved to look prim and proper, all hours of the damn day.

As his top comes off John puts it aside and he's marvelling in the sight of Lafayette's six pack. His gorgeous, beautiful, bulk of armour right there. All for him. Lafayette chuckled, "So impatient" under his breath at John and sighs.

"Fuck" John says under his breath. "You're stunning..."

Alex's eyes were still bouncing between them and Lafayette looked too obvious on the fact that he was relishing compliments off their baby. Lafayette loved compliments, John knew this.

John's looking directly into Lafayette's eyes as Lafayette is teasingly pumping his cock, that lopsided smirk still there on his pretty lips and John bites his bottom lip, so seductively, in such a sexy way and crunches his toes as he did. Alex caught him do so and he releases a throaty growl at both of them.

"The pair of you, if you could see yourselves. Jesus." Alex sighs, happily and he looks up at the ceiling, giggles out, "I'm one lucky fucker, thank you, God, I am eternally blessed."

John snorts at Alex as his attention is placed on him for a second and it was reeled back towards Lafayette, when Lafayette gets his cock, moved forward a little and he's tapping it, actually tapping it on the tip of John's nose.

Once John's eyes at placed back on Lafayette and his gorgeous cock. Lafayette puts a hand on his hip and says, "I see, little one. You are not so patient now, non?"

And John's gut dropped. He's watching Lafayette slowly shovel back up his shorts and John's eyes almost fell out their sockets.

No. No, no.

"Wait, wait!" John shouts.

Alex laughs at his eagerness and Lafayette is stifling out a small laugh of his own at John's neediness.

John's baggy t-shirt was to come off next and he flings it just across the room, it almost catches Alex in the face. Alex lets out a cry of 'Hey!' and moves his head quick as it's launched.

Lafayette arched a brow at John and goes, "Messy little one! You do not throw your clothes on the floor." John's trying not to grin but he does anyway and squirmed down as he's scolded.

It didn't help when Alex meanly, crooned out with, "Best give him a proper tellin' off, babe. Can't have our baby boy thinking he's in charged, am I right?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John gulped.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lafayette looked over at Alex with a knowing smile, it's as if they're agreeing on something, crafting up a little plan between them in their eyes. John sees the way they're doing that thing they did. He knows something is up.

"I suppose you are, right, Mon cher" Lafayette says, amused.

But John wasn't listening, he moved forward and had his hands slide in tandem along Lafayette's toned stomach. He's swirling his fingers all along the abs, almost as if he were tracing a beautiful piece of craft. Which is what Lafayette was technically, a walking art. Alex was staring in amusement as he's shifting on the bed closer to them now and Lafayette kept his hands on his hips, watching.

John was shocked at how crazed he felt. The sudden absence of Lafayette's touch was excruciating. He needed something, for godssake.

When Lafayette's hands returned, each rested high on one of John's cheeks. Lovingly and John looked up at him, starry eyed. Lafayette's fingers wandered into John's hair and John scuffled forward on his ass over to him a bit more. So that Lafayette's cock was practically right up in his face.

Alex shifted on his knees and he's biting his lip hard. Inspecting the pair as he's moving over to John's lower half, this time the front of his shorts. But first, Alex would wait.

"That's right, kitten. You lap up Papa's big cock" Alex blurted with a devilish smile, cheekier tone. Lafayette could only grin at his husband's words, John send Alex the side-eye and he goes back to Lafayette, nuzzling in further.

Lafayette goes back to John's curls and he's got a hand in his hair. Lafayette decides to man-handle the batch of curls at the back of John's head instead and he twists them, a little tightly, not too much to hurt. Just enough of a grasp to show authority.

"Is this what you want, mon petit?" Lafayette all but whispers, John assumed Lafayette was checking if this was okay. Not too alarming to be held in such a way.

But John had been used to rougher handling with Alex in bed previously. Oh, but John really didn't mind. He loved it infact, it only made things more exciting and his body was on fire. He needed something more than this to happen tonight, it had been almost a year since they last bedded one another.

For a moment his mind went blank and John hops back into reality, he sees the look on Lafayette's face, more concern than anything and Alex looked a bit edgy too.

So John nodded, he's holding back a smirk himself and he's diving into grabbing hold of Lafayette's cock. John snatches it, greedily, his gut was churning with butterflies flapping around inside of him. He needed this, he needed this so, so bad.

"Let him have it" Alex chuckled, he's crawling over just behind Lafayette for a moment, there on his knees and worms his arms around his husband's neck. Alex rests his chin on Lafayette's shoulder and he's smirking down at John there with his husband.

Alex popped a sweet kiss on the side of Lafayette's neck and then used his hand to guide his husband's head towards him, just over his shoulder and Alex placed a much more passionate one on his lips. It ended in a little 'pop' and they smile against each others lips. John watched as they kissed, he continued to keep sucking though. He never gave up ravishing his tongue with the tip of Lafayette's cock and pumped it as he did.

"He can handle it" Alex whispers into Lafayette's ear, Lafayette lets out a soft moan, not only from the tenderness of John's tongue wrapped around his dick but Alex's wool-like tone tickling the rim of his ear. It felt nice.

"He's our little one, but he's a big boy." Lafayette smirks again and they both drop their eyes down, piercingly, on John. "Look'a that face"

Lafayette hummed in agreement. John felt his cheeks tinge with colour and John knew he was blushing like no tomorrow. But he wasn't going to let them put him off. John takes Lafayette's cock deeper this time, he made a slight gagging sound as he did, only because it accidentally slid too far back this time.

Lafayette rumpled his hair lovingly as he did, coaxing John as he did to take a little more of his cock and Alex was beaming in anticipation.

"That face could break many hearts" Lafayette quietly says, it was more like a purr though. John's cock twitched at his tone. Alex arched a brow in response. "You are so perfect, my little darling."

Alex blurted out with, "Mm, you're right about that. Babe."

John looked up with a deadly glare at Alex, Lafayette scolded Alex with a stern 'Alexander' and moaned right after when John lapped him up even more. Mostly out of irritation at that dig. Alex laughed aloud.

"Too bad for the rest of everyone else, though. Because he's ours." Alex added, John's expression mellowed and Alex smiled at him softer this time. Obviously he was being forgiving and trying to stir back on the right back after that comment.

Both of their piercing gazes watch John fondle with Lafayette's thickened cock and both of them milk the sight of just how adorable John looked taking the pinkened tip on his tongue ever so gently.

Lafayette hitched a small breath and Alex bites his lip. John twirls his tongue tip around the very slit of Lafayette's cock and whirls it around like he would on an ice cream. Round, round and around. Lafayette makes a low growl and that was when John became that bit daring and he's taking the top into his mouth.

"That's right, mon chiton" Lafayette purred. "You are such a pretty sight, the way you take me. Truly magnificent." John's eyes glittered at the praise. He loved it when Lafayette praised him, it always made him feel that extra bit special. "My special mon petit ange"

Alex cleared his throat, raised his brow and added, " _Our_ , Mon petit ange, babe -" Alex firmly correctly, he chuckled as Lafayette gave him a little nudge. "Ours. Look at him, he's a beaut. Fucking love him. Such a good boy for Daddy and Papa. Aren't you, baby doll?"

John nodded with a mouthful of cock. Of course he was.

"He is always good" Lafayette threw in, pleased. "Although, I wonder, just how good he can be for us tonight, Mon Cher -"

Then Alex looked back at his husband, his dark big brown eyes filled with mischievousness. "I'm wondering that too"

Suddenly the room must've heated up a few notches, because ohn felt his body flare up and he's certain he is now in for a real treat. They were up to something, John's eyes went back and forth at both their faces. He didn't trust those soft little smiles. Nope.

He felt like a little lamb among two hungry big, bad, wolves. All ready to feast him up.

"You willing to go a bit further tonight?" Alex asked him, his tone not at all pushy, but more curious than anything.

Lafayette laced hand back into John's fluffed curls, swivelled his fingers softly around the loose curls of his. "You do not have to participate in anything you do not want to, my darling. You must know, me and Alexander, we will always give you a choice." Lafayette told John, sweetly. Alex nodded along.

"- And we'll always ask if you're okay" Alex inputted. "So, you down?"

It was going to escalate from here onwards. John didn't know what into but he was so, so for it.

"Fuck -" John ended up gagging again and he muffled out with a, "Fuck yes!"

Alex and Lafayette grinned.

It was time.

"You want Papa to fuck your mouth?" Alex asked John, naughtily yet careful. John nods.

Lafayette gave a bit of a grunt and then said, "I suppose I should give him what he wants"

"Yeah, you should. Hey, baby boy -" Alex then directs his gaze back to John. "You okay with things getting a little rough? It don't have to be. Remember the traffic light system we talked about before?" John nods, oh yeah. He remembered alright. "Good, well you know the drill. Let us know when it gets too much."

"Yes, please, tell us, I do not want to hurt you. Oh goodness -" And then Lafayette is turning to Alex for a second, eyes wide and he's got a look of panic on his face. Alex furrowed his brow at his husband in question. "Oh, good god! No, what if we hurt him, Alexander. I couldn't bare the thought of scarring our sweet John half to death! He is fragile, I think we should not -"

As Alex was about to tell him that John was perfectly fine with roughness. John slipped Lafayette's cock out of his mouth and John sighed at them both, he gives them a bored look. Scowling, clearly annoyed that things weren't taking off yet.

"Papa - No, Laf. I'm not made out of fine china, I can take it. Alex and me have had our fair share of rough rounds. Right, Daddy?" John directs his gaze to Alex.

"That's true, honey. But we don't want to hurt you, this is all pretty different now. It isn't just a one on one thing." Alex explained.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They were all in this together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lafayette nods, "Indeed, we just want you to be comfortable. That is all."

John slumps his shoulders and he pouts, brow still knit together. Then heaves a small huff out his nose and says, "Can you please just both fuck me? Like, fuck me absolutely senseless. That's all I want."

Alex's eyebrows rose and he looks amused, "Till you're in tears, baby boy. That what you want, hm?"

"Yes" John sighed.

Lafayette can't help but smile too, "You want us to fuck you until you feel as if you may never want to be seated again?"

"Jesus" John muttered under his breath, Alex snickered when he overheard. "Yes"

And Alex pushes it, laughing out with, "Until you think you'll be walking funny for two weeks straight? You want that baby?"

Oh, the glare from John was icy. Alex and Lafayette both ganging up on him here wasn't doing his own bubbling, hard, throbbing cock any good and it was only making him needier. Not wanting to interrogate any further about this, John groaned, sighed all at the same time. Alex tilts his head back with laughter and Lafayette let out a curt "Aw, mon cherie".

"Yes" John replied, snappishly. "God, yes. That's, all, I want. Oh my god!"

Well that was it.

Alex shrugged and he's unlocking his arms around Lafayette's neck then immediately shuffled down John's body, planting himself on either side of John's legs.

Lafayette remained on his kneels with his cock right there in John's face and John was sat, halfway lay down. Alex couldn't wait anymore it seemed, he went straight for John's briefs and he's curling his fingers just around the hem of them.

"Look at this" Alex gave a low hum of approval. "Fuck"

John flickered his eyes worriedly to Lafayette who snorted at his husband's eagerness. Just as John was about to say anything, Lafayette pressed a finger to the centre of his lips and he's gone back to pumping his cock, mostly just because it feels good. John gets the hint and he is retaking Lafayette's dick, his hand overlaps on Lafayette's and John pumps it along with him.

Lafayette closes his eyes, taking in the whole sensation and whispering something in french. John couldn't quite understand what it was since he didn't understand every single french thing. But he was still learning and John debated whether it was time to show off his skills to his Daddy. Since Alex didn't actually know about John taking up online french classes and all.

As John re-took Lafayette back into his mouth, continuing his tender suckling and whirling off the tongue around the head of his cock. John also reached out to play with Lafayette's magnificent sack. Two big things like basketballs, down below was like Niagara falls. All while John was bobbing his head, sucking Lafayette dry, his thick cock slicked with bubbled spit and pre-cum.

However Alex was on his own mission, he was busy sliding down John's briefs off and when he just quite couldn't get them off. Alex swatted John to pay him some attention, just there on the side of the thigh and John moved slightly so Alex could pull them right off. Away on the floor they went and Alex focused on John's swollen cock.

"Baby boy, you are a sight. Let me tell you, I cannot wait to have you." Alex says, giddily. He's roaming his hands up and down John's thighs for a moment before digging in. "Fucking beautiful" Alex looked back at them both and he saw John totally going at it, sucking his husband off and Lafayette grunting, moaning, far away, lost in his own world.

"C'mere, lemme just -" Alex said to himself. "Here we go" He then leaned down and nipped at John's hip. John made a little muffled yelp between sucking away, bobbing his head and Alex was being such a distraction. Alex saw this and he's biting his lip again, grinning.

"You take care of Papa, kitten and Daddy will take care, of you" Alex says, almost tauntingly. His voice, untrustworthy and John opened an eye at Alex and glared at him.

"Alexander" Lafayette, huffed out, breathily. Although his scolding had no impact on Alex. "Fuck - _merde_ " He let out. John's eyes landed back on Lafayette, he kept the pace since he knew now he was having some affect on him.

Alex then mingled his fingers into the softness of John's public hair, it was a little scratchy from where John had recently shaved it and Alex playfully gave it a little tug.

He saw John's inner thigh muscle twitch at this, Alex did it again just to be a tease, he was then met with another twitch and he's then slumping down on his elbows, lay on his stomach on the end of the bed and he's getting to work on John.

While John is busy pleasing Lafayette, between the wet squelching between John's mouth and Lafayette's cock. The low humming of an orgasm beginning to now rack up. Alex takes John's cock and he's toying with it, a quick pump or two. Alex keeps his focus on John's thighs since that where he showed how this was having any affect on him.

"Love this cock, I do, sweetie, you're so pretty like this. Honestly." Alex tells him. John twitches at that, he liked it. Alex smiled to himself. "All hard and shit, fuck. Prettiest little one we have here, babe, let me tell you. So glad he came back to us, even if he can be a little, difficult -"

Alex gave John's pubes another tug, harsher this time though. John made a squeak and Lafayette began to fuck John's mouth, mostly to shut him up and concentrate. Alex felt a tad empathetic and he gave John's tip a quick slick of his tongue and he was rewarded with a heated moan.

"Hell yes" Alex breathed out.

Then Alex had his hands palmed just under John's ass. He slides them underneath as Alex moves right between John's thighs, parting them so that they were looped around. Alex put a kiss or two on the tip of John's cock, one on the inner of his thighs and then another on the other of his thigh. Alex cupped one of John's knee, squeezed them before he's gone back to opening John up.

"Al..." Alex could hear John muffle out his name, John's words were cut off as tremor of pleasure shook him when Alex's tongue, was finally put to good use instead of talking, traced his pink ring.

"Watch me get you so wet," Alex breathed, he's pressing a kiss against John's hole and smirking against it. Alex looked up just over John's stomach, Lafayette in view but Alex managed to catch Johns crumpled, needy expression. He then adds, dirtily, "Gonna swim in something better than the ocean, tonight baby, lemme tell you."

John bit back an embarrassed retort as Alex spread him further and pressed his tongue in. John whimpered at the sensation and he's accidentally biting down on Lafayette's dick.

"Ah!" He winced.

Lafayette re-opens his eyes, staring down at John and John felt his blood run cold. "Mon Cherie, that was uncalled for" Lafayette grasps out.

"It's Alex!" John says back in his defence.

Alex pops his head up and he's looking up at them both, Lafayette has his head over his shoulder at him and Alex licks his lips.

"He's getting me off! I didn't even know!" John added, deliberately making his voice younger and he's playing with Lafayette's cock there between his fingers. He looks back up at Lafayette and John pouts. "Not my fault Papa"

Lafayette arched a brow at this. "I see"

Alex make a loud snorting sound and he's tugging at John's cock. John made what sounded like a moan combined with a yelp. "You gotta focus, baby boy. Focus. Control yourself. We have to work together. Ain't that right, Laf, babe?"

John narrows his eyes at Alex, he's met with a cheeky grin at Alex and then pleadingly looks back up at Lafayette. What shocks John more is when Lafayette is agreeing with Alex. "That is right, you must focus. Now, hush. Little one, open that sweet mouth of yours -"

But John pouts and Lafayette raises his brow when John didn't open up. Alex sees this and he cruelly says, "If he's being a mood, grab him by the hair, show him who's boss"

"Is that right now?" Lafayette says, John didn't trust his tone.

Lafayette dropped his gaze back down on John there below him and John freezes. So it was like that then. John bats his eyes at the pair of them, Alex was there smugly smiling away and John kicks out a leg at him but Alex dodges it easily.

However Lafayette is staring at him but John can tell there is a hint of concern in his eyes. Lafayette reaches for John's cheek, soothingly caresses it and asks, "You would not mind?" Lafayette asked, he always made sure, each and every time they ever did anything.

John was so grateful for him, he was such a compassionate lover. So caring, so kind. Lafayette made his heart soar at times. Not that Alex wasn't too but Lafayette had this side to him, soft, sweet. It was different to Alex's version. Lafayette patched him up in his very own handmade heaven, made John feel safe, looked after.

What John saw in Lafayette it was something he had lacked in his life since his mother passed. Not a parental figure but that security.

"I want it" John tells not only Lafayette but Alex too. "I want you both, now. So, don't hold back."

"You want it rough?" Lafayette asked him.

"Mm" John let out. "I do, please. Please."

Alex stared at him blankly for a second or so, he looked as he if were deep in thought. "Alex?" said John. He was wondering what was with Alex. John hoped they were going to back out on this.

"Can you manage?" Alex finally asks, serious as ever.

Another sigh and grunt from John. Lafayette chuckled to himself at John's frustration.

"I can manage, I'll be alright. Honest." John said, he tried to sound reassuring. He was fine with it, completely fine. But whether Lafayette and Alex fully believed him was another thing.

Then there was a nod from Alex and he says, "If you're sure, okay." And in seconds Alex was going down on him, John could feel Alex's tongue against the slit of his cock but he chose to ignore that while gazing back up at Lafayette, into his dark kind eyes. Lafayette still had that worrisome look on his face. John mouths 'I'll be fine' to him and smiled.

So Lafayette gave his cheek one more cradle and a swish with his thumb before it slowly drifted off from his cheek, right up past the shell of John's ear. That was when John could feel Lafayette's hand curl right to the back of his head and his slender fingers raked the coils of his scalp for a moment, until those fingers locked on a clump of hair.

Lafayette's got his cock and he's bullying it past the slit of John's lips. John takes it, immediately, it's down John's throat not far short but John goes with it. He's all for it, he wants to do this. To connect with them both, to be with them both, no matter which way. He just wanted to give his entire being to them. To the men he adored, loved.

John stared longingly into Lafayette's dark eyes and slowly began to close them, continued to bob his head and suck up Lafayette's bitter yet sweet juices.

His hand tightened in his hair and John muffled against the cock in his mouth, Lafayette used John's short mop of curls as reins, guiding him against his cock. In, out, in and out.

"Yes, that is it -" Lafayette practically growled, then suddenly he dug his hand around John's curls tight, John felt his neck arch upwards that bit more and he muffled a whine out loudly. Alex sprang his gaze of to John, curious as to how John may react and nothing came as he remained taking Lafayette like a pro.

" _Ah... Vous avez l'air incroyable de me sucer petit. Papa est content. Un tel ange, ne t'arrête pas. Ne vous arrêtez pas."_ Lafayette gritted out, he let out a low whistle as he pounded into John's mouth. Alex could only bare the naughtiest of smiles at his husband's chanting.

Although John and Lafayette had done this before on their date, but back then, Lafayette hadn't gone as hardcore compared to now. John didn't mind the roughness as much. Not when the joy of him listening to Lafayette's rasping gasps grow and the way Lafayette let out his own melody of pleasure. John's was growing just as badly, since Alex was working on him from below.

John couldn't help himself, he let out a low heat-growl as Alex continued to taste him, the growl rumbled harder when one of Alex's skilled fingers joined his tongue. The overstimulation didn't help from his aching cock and John really couldn't help but push back into them.

As John continued with Lafayette's cock which seemed to thicken by the minute in his mouth. His grasp much tighter, fiercer and John could tell Lafayette needed to cum real soon.

While John got on with Lafayette, Alex was pulling out his fingers, they left John's pucker with a slippery small squeak and quickly Alex got up on his knees. He's slipping off his boxers, kicks them off on to the floor and then he's moving in on John between his slim freckled thighs.

Alex was taking John in. From his toned little tum, his outed belly button, his cock, balls and strained inner thigh muscles. Alex dreamily grinned and whispers out, "Fuck" and then Alex is giving himself his own cock a jilt or two, just to get him going mostly. To harden himself, making sure he's rock solid. "God, it's been too long, baby boy. Far too long since Daddy has had you."

John's toes curled as he could feel Alex's cock press up against his cheeks. He felt Alex's fingers part them while his other hand held his cock and pressed in with it. But it had been ages since John had taken, he hadn't slept with anyone else since these two.

John didn't have the heart to bed anyone else during their break, despite all the bars he and his friends had hit together. John had been pulled aside from time to time when they were out by other guys and girls, who were interested. He was a cutie, he got a fair share of attention and John had always declined.

He wasn't like that. Lafayette and Alex may be fine to sleep with new people, not John. He was a family man at heart, John wanted serious, not a fling and he wanted these two. Lafayette and Alex. They were the only ones who could see him this desperate, helpless. No one else.

As Alex poked his cock into John's hole, he struggled a fair bit at first, Alex twisted his mouth and mumbled out, "Hmm, you're a little tight baby. Gonna have to open you up s'more..."

Lafayette managed to rasp, "Don't just shove in, no, no. Mon Cher -" and another moan raptured from Lafayette.

"I'm not -" Alex muttered back, he wetted his fingers with more spit and shoved them back into John. As they fled back inside, John made a strained whine and Lafayette stopped thrusting into John's mouth. Lafayette looked over his shoulder, down at Alex to see what he was doing.

"Just loosening him up a little more, babe. He's firm as fuck." As Alex says this, Lafayette eyes up John and John is busy going at the very head of Lafayette's dick. "Hey, baby boy, you been with anyone else, uh, since us?" Alex just had to ask. Nosey as ever. "I mean, if it's totally fine if you have. Honey, we all have urges." Alex reassured.

John meets Lafayette gaze and he briefly looks back to Alex, between the cock in his mouth, John shakes his head and cutely says, "Nope, I only want Daddy and Papa. No one else." Well that must've melted Lafayette and Alex's heart, they look back at each other, with the most adored expressions.

And Lafayette turns back to John, his hand in John's hair goes loose and he's tickling John's roots. "Oh, my treasure, my sweetheart. You, really are, the loveliest. I am touched."

"Jack" Alex cooed in adoration too and John rolled his eyes. He goes back to roughly taking Lafayette, he nipped Lafayette's tip as a wake up call and Lafayette gasped.

"Mon petit! That is naughty!" Lafayette hissed. "Just when I was saying nice things about you!"

John made a mocking muffled moan in response. It didn't last long when Lafayette bore his nails, not too hard, just enough for John to shut up.

Alex's eyes bulged at this and he's snickering. "I think he's getting needy now" Alex giggled, as he did, Alex playfully spanked the side of John's thigh and sighs out, "Alright, fuck it. C'mere, now. Daddy wants you, you impatient, bad little slut -"

"You are calling him a slut?!" Lafayette sounded outraged.

Alex was too busy peeling at John's waist from underneath with his fingers to give his husband a proper response.

Lafayette's grip of John's hair went back to being tight again, deep down John was glad, he didn't want to stop everything. He had waited far too damn long for this. Closing his eyes, John did his best to focus on Lafayette, make him feel good.

But sucking him off was changed up from a different angle when his seat behind the headboard was taken away. Alex pulled John a tad by his waist, roughly, he's pushing himself right in this time.

"Alexander" Lafayette repeated through his loud pants.

John could feel the burn of Alex's cock fight its way through his hole, the tip just struggling to make its way through and John's brow crumpled, a small shooting of pain pulsed through his lower half although it was gone when his body merged its self around Alex there inside him.

"He likes me calling him shit" Alex told Lafayette, his voice heavy as he's pushing himself right inside of John. "Oh, christ, yes!" When Alex was finally there, deeply inside of John, he let out a heavy breath and he's slowly starting to roll his hips.

As Alex did, John is releasing a soft moan or two of his own, it has Alex picking up the pace and he's arching his back just over John's lower half, hands planted on either side of John's stomach on the mattress, Lafayette's ass in view but Alex has his head hung. He kept his attention on John, moved his hips quicker and started to build up his own stamina.

"Mmhm!" Ruptured from John, his eyes were clenched tightly, he could feel Alex drive into him.

The sensation was strange, John felt pangs of pleasure but it was mostly pain. Alex continued, grinding himself into John, he quickened up faster, pleased with how rapidly John adjusted. "Shit, that's good" Alex let out, he makes a sharp inhale and heaved out as he's practically drilling into John.

"Mm, yes. You've still got the sweetest little cunt." Alex rasped, he tipped his head back as he's plunging into John once more. Letting out a heavy breath, bloating his cheeks and groans. "Fuck"

While the room filled up with wet, loud, smacks of Alex's balls hitting the rim of John' ass.

John tried his best to get on with Lafayette and eventually Lafayette did come. A bitter plunge of hot gooey cum came shooting right down John's throat, John swallowed, took it all in and tried to ignore the agonising pounding to his ass.

"Ah, yes, perfect" Lafayette deeply muttered out, he sounded pleased enough. Although his voice soon went dark again. "But you, my darling, are a minx. Such a bad little thing for biting. Hm. Perhaps, when I take you next, I will teach you a lesson. I may go even harder on you. What do you say?"

Alex's breathing quickened.

John couldn't really answer that. Right now all he could think of was just how sore his ass was. It was hurting more and more too, anymore and John was going to have to stop the whole thing. Discomfort started to etch his features and he winces, actually winces somehow whilst deep throating.

As he did, Lafayette withdrew his cock away from John's mouth. He still had it in his hand, toying with it. That was when John really felt it and it hurt more when Alex hitched up his waist, he encouraged John to move his thighs over his shoulders.

But John couldn't do it. He just couldn't.

The current battery to his hole was too much.

Lafayette was first to capture the discomfort on John's face. Lafayette raised a brow and he's instantly climbing off over John after so long. Lafayette gave Alex a nudge in the shoulder, "Mon cher, you need to stop"

"Huh?" Alex said cluelessly.

As Lafayette gave a small swat with the back of his hand on Alex's shoulder, he says, "Pull out, Alexander. He looks uncomfortable."

Alex re-opened his eyes and he's dazed looking around at them both. "What's up?"

Once he notices John, a spark of panic filled Alex's face, he turns worried and mutters out, "Shit, shit, fuck. Sorry, hun."

John makes a low muffled sound and beginning to sit up on his elbows.

"John, mon petit, are you okay?" Lafayette asks him, softly, he's sat down properly now there right beside John and stretching out his long legs since being on his knees all that time did make them cramp up. "He is not bleeding, non?"

Immediately Alex pulls out, he's gone down on John to check if he's okay and not bleeding. Luckily John wasn't and Alex made a small sigh of relief. "Nah, he's good. Hey, honey -" Alex then looked over at John and he's leaning forwards to get a better look at John's face. "You alright? Hey, talk to us"

A long breathy sound came from John and he's hazily looking at them both. "Mm, I'm okay. Just hurts a little."

Alex's shoulders slump and he frowns, saying, "You should've told me"

"Alexander, he is hurting, do not blame him"

"I'm not!"

Lafayette ignored his husband and instead raked a hand over John's flustered cheek, he's soothing him, lovingly and leans down to press a kiss on John's temple. "How do you feel?" He asks John. "If you do not want this, please, little one, tell us."

John's gaze bounced back and forth to them, he looked panicked and quickly blurts out, "I'm okay! No, I want it. It's just... been a while since I last did this. Y'know. My ass isn't a rubber glove." Alex bites back a smile at that and he's running his hands up, down, John's sides nicely.

Lafayette is crossing his legs, leaning back beside John and cupping his face, "So you need extra preparation?"

A nod from John.

"Hey, look, I did finger and eat you out, already, baby." Alex told John. "Promise, I did. Oh, honey. I'm sorry. You should've said something, I wouldn't have just gone in like that... fuck. Right, okay, do you want me to try again?"

Another nod from John.

"John" Lafayette said, his tone urges John to speak.

So he does, John leans his head back on the headboard, a small grunt was released from him. "Yeah, it's like I said, don't hold back. Just open me up more, kay?"

"Did you hear that Mon Cher?" Lafayette's head span around at Alex, his glare, burrowed right into him. Alex gave Lafayette an offended scoff. "Stretch out our sweet one properly, he must be able to adjust easier. We don't want him in pain."

"Laf -" John began, Alex speaks over him though.

"Babe, honestly -" Alex is already poking his fingers back inside of John, John's walls clenched around the sudden fingers there inside of him. Alex is scissoring John open, stretching him to the fullest capacity. "You act like we'll end up at A&E by eleven o'clock, later, tonight. Don't worry, our baby boy ain't going to have stitches on his rear."

A look of horror was plastered on Lafayette's face.

"Oh god" John wailed quietly. "Alex, don't"

Alex snorted at their expressions and said, "It ain't gonna happen, don't worry."

John was easy to slip into, but not so much when it came to taking Alex's cock. "I'll sort you out, alright? Calm it. Hm, honey try and gape a little for me if you can. Daddy wants to give you a good dicking."

John's mouth fell open at his words and Lafayette whispers out a, "Good god Alexander"

But John did as he was told, he did gape for Alex the best he could and Alex worked with that. "Mm, that's right, good boy. All wet and ready." Alex wet his fingers again and shoved them right back into John. "Y'know what, Laf, babe, I think we should invest in one of those plugs. Been thinking about it recently, it could be of use, especially with little one here."

Lafayette tilts back his head, closing his eyes and let out a dreaded word in French. Alex chuckled at him, John lay there totally away with the fairies.

"Maybe a dildo too -" Alex added. Lafayette snickered at the idea. "Could be useful" Alex said shrugging.

And Lafayette nods, "Perhaps. My, god, you are very invested in getting our sweet petit fully prepared." 

Then when Alex's fingers glide over John's prostate, taunting it, John huffs out a moan and bites his lip at the sensation.

"Well, y'know, you gotta think ahead." Alex says.

John uttered out another moan and he's only just catching on to what Alex is saying. "Huh, what?" John asked, hazily.

Lafayette kissed his cheek and Alex chuckled, "Oh nothing, baby. Me and Papa here were talking about getting you ready for butthole bootcamp, no biggie. Let me just add my finger here -"

Well John's face was hysterical. Lafayette laughed full on.

"Butthole - what?!"

And John is filled with another heavy wave of pleasure when Alex turns his finger just right. This time it's even better.

"Oh you heard, honey, you heard."

Alex flicks up his eyes at John, watches his baby's face and smirks at the sight of it. John looked completely out of control and so Alex slid those fingers back, pushed right on that sweet spot and John wailed out a cry.

"Gotcha" Alex cooed.

From there on, Alex scissored, pried and opened John up. All while between pushing, grating and toying with that spot. "You are merciless sometimes" Lafayette tells Alex, he rolled his eyes and grinned at him. Alex could only laugh and it increased when John mewled aloud when his played with his spot.

"Oh, fuck off. Babe -" Lafayette's brow rose at this, he even dropped his mouth at Alex. "He loves it. Should be easier now when I slip into him."

Lafayette bat his eyes at Alex and he nudges Alex with his foot. "Do not tell me to 'fuck off', Mon Cher. Otherwise I think it will be you, getting fucked much more aggressively than little John tonight." Lafayette warned him. John's interest peaked up at this. He's looking back at Lafayette and Alex, they held such tension in their exchange of gazes.

John didn't miss the smirks on their lips though. Although John wouldn't lie to himself, he was pretty interested in seeing that happen too. His cock even perked up at the thought of it.

"You love me" Alex jokingly says to his husband and makes a kiss gesture at him.

Lafayette balled his eyes, "I have definitely mistaken John, it is you, Alexander who is the true minx."

"You love me" Alex cackled again, he's using two fingers three fingers now inside of John. One of them bumps into the tenderness of his spot and John stifles yet another pained moan.

"Do not tempt me, Alexander. I will have you, on your face, tie your hands behind your back and fuck you, until you draw tears. That would shut you up." Lafayette says, eerily. John's head snaps to Lafayette with wide eyes, he had never heard Lafayette talk like that before. Especially in such an alluring tone. God, John wanted that, right after Alex was finished with him.

He moaned again when Alex pressed the spot. "Mm!"

Alex chimed out, "You married me, you _love_ me -" and he presses John again, his fingers rammed in and out of him. "Hear that baby boy? That's what Daddy's gotta put up with."

"You bring it on yourself" Lafayette reminded him. "It is your own doing"

And while Lafayette and Alex banter, John is spinning in a whole new realm. His body tingles, no longer hurts and he feels hot all over. He needed Alex soon before he burst.

"So you say"

This time Lafayette chooses to ignore Alex and goes back to watching John with the deepest of love and then Lafayette is lifting John up, urging him to sit forward so that Lafayette could get just behind him there. Lafayette acknowledges John, he sees the joyous flush over his cheeks and the glistening of need in John's eyes.

He was ready.

"I think it is time" Lafayette tells Alex. "Are you fully prepared, Cherie?"

Alex nods, "Yeah, he's all sucked and ready to be fucked" Lafayette shook his head at Alex's crudeness. John felt himself aroused by it if anything.

"Mmmmmmm" Is all John could let out. They both chuckle at John and so Alex gets a move on.

Though Alex waits a moment as they manoeuvre around so that John is lay against Lafayette's broad, muscled chest properly. Lafayette's hands are swirling around John's chest, along his pecs and tweak teasingly at his nipples.

John moaned again, his breaths picking up and his cheeks filled up with tinges of pink. John laid there with his eyes half-lidded, from Lafayette's hands in his curls, along his stomach, the warm kisses on his neck.

"Uh, mmm, Papa, Daddy, now" John muttered out.

Alex was dabbing his cock right at John's entrance, "Oh, don't you worry, you'll get it"

Lafayette craned his head down, adds a kiss on John's cheek there and John whimpered, "Now! Now, now!"

"Goodness, gracious, mon petit" Lafayette, he whispered into John's ear, hot breath tickling inside. John felt goosebumps overtake him suddenly. "It seems you have come back to life, have you not?"

John lent his head back further and crumpled up his face, childishly whining, "Tell him! Papa, tell him to hurry up! Fuck, Daddy just do it. I'm sick of waiting!"

Alex pretended to look offended, though he went into a smile right after. "He is definitely developing such confidence, isn't he, Mon Cher?" Lafayette tittered.

"That, he is." Alex responded, clearly amused. _"il est si mignon, s'il lui reste de l'énergie après moi, vous pouvez aller ensuite"_

Lafayette laughs darkly, John is frowning at the both and looking confused, he didn't get any of that. Alex spoke too quickly for John to pick up on it. He didn't trust it either.

"Such a good husband, you are, Alexander" Lafayette pressed another kiss on John's temple and looks down at Alex's cock. "You best hurry then"

This has John looking up at Lafayette and asking, "What did he say? I didn't catch it?"

Alex was the one to look confused next since he didn't get why John would ask that. Then Lafayette brushed Alex's questioning look off before clasping John's cheek and saying, "Not to worry, my darling. Just relax, now, okay. You must relax."

"Okay, Papa" John says, in a somewhat small voice. "Can you kiss me? I wanna connect with you too"

It was so cute. Alex bit his bottom lip at it as he grinned, their John, he was just adorable. Lafayette, breathed out, "Oh, love"

And Lafayette captures John's lips, John's eyes fluttered shut and he's kissing Lafayette right back. John also grabs Lafayette's hand there above him, their hands connect as they rest on John's shoulder, fingers both entwined.

As they're kissing passionately, Alex is there on his knees watching them both. He shrugged off Lafayette's words and figured to just get on with it.

"I have to warn you, honey, I may not have been as gentle before, I'll try. Baby, I will, but I don't know if I can continue to restrain myself." Alex said this and then licked at his fingers again before putting them back inside of John. "Not to worry, okay, Jack."

Since Alex had already finished his preparation on his hole and was toying with his own cock, before slipping into John with a bit more layaway this time round. He skidded in there much more easier, John was slicked up better and a bit looser. Still the tightness of his hole remained and Alex was living for it.

John howls into the kiss when he could feel Alex inside of him. It felt better, much better, the fullness of his cock right up there against his muscles and John became a wreck when Alex started to move. Between Lafayette keeping his lips locked, his tongue twisting, exchanging salvia, hands both tightening on each other, John digging his nails into Lafayette's hand. John was trying not to loose all composure.

But slowly John's steady facade was unbuckling, he was moaning into the kiss and when he felt another hand, Lafayette's, crawl there on to his cock. That had been the icing on the cake because John practically howling.

As Alex thundered away into him on top, John did his best to lock his legs around Alex's waist and reel him in closer. Alex got the hint and he dove into him deeper. Quick slaps of flesh hitting each other, the wet squelching of spit and pre-cum mangled together as Alex quickened his pace.

John can feel the bubbling of hot desire build up in his lower belly, as Alex's cock kept grinding his spot, the whole sensation became stronger and stronger. Lafayette's got his hand on his cock, pumping it, skilfully too and when he changed up his technique, John lost his focus, he had to stop kissing Lafayette for a second because he ended up moaning, too loudly. It was becoming far too much.

His freckled cheeks were blazing, John could feel all heat there in his face and his whole body down below was burning up. As if hell was taking place down below in is rear end and front.

This, it was so sinful in itself. Two men at once, amazing. After all the fears John had before today over bedding Lafayette and Alex together. All those ridiculous worries, silly insecurities, how wrong had John been. This was the best sex he had ever had. Two of them, his loves, all in one. Being able to experience this together. Amazing.

"You like that?" Alex panted out, he's ramming into John again and the thrusting speed he's doing to John is relentlessly. John thought his prostate was gone, he could've sworn Alex had tore it away by now. But the feeling, it was heaven.

"Daddy, harder, uh, fuck!" John mewled. "God... fuck!"

Lafayette kept kissing his neck too, sweet loving kisses, softer than the flutter of butterflies wings and the hand-job he was giving John, it was out of this world. "Huh? Kitten, you like that? So tight, fuck. Mmm, yes." Alex chants.

"He is a good boy" Lafayette huskily says, his thumb tickled the top of John's cock and he's gently biting on John's neck. John tilts his head back more, looks up at Lafayette with tears in his eyes. It's overwhelming, everything. The whole world is spinning, he can't make Lafayette out at all. "Gorgeous, you are, so gorgeous and loved, so loved."

 

 

 

He was.

 

 

 

 

 

 

John felt it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He really was loved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

His heart could've burst right here, right now.

 

 

 

 

 

As this all happened, John thought of them both and over everything that had happened. Perhaps, maybe, this was the best thing to ever happen. To wait, to go back. He had already made an art form out of endurance and these two, Lafayette and Alexander.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They were both worth every single moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the feel of these things and the realization of their significance, John's slender frame was engulfed by his orgasm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Shit - shit!" Alex gasped out. " - Need to cum!"

Lafayette whispered into John's ear, "Do you hear that? That is how good you make him feel? You did that to him, such a good boy. So good for us."

Between Lafayette's sweet nothings, John was busy trying to hold back and the tingles he got, they fizzled all through him. Lafayette managed to get him to splutter out his own cum from his cock and John heaved when it happened. "Beautiful" Lafayette tells John as he cums. White strings of hot goop landing on his lower stomach, all while Alex was still jittering inside of him, mercilessly.

His knuckles had gone all white and pink from leaning down on them for so long, half of Alex's hair had gone out of its bun and was hanging out. His face was bright red and sweat formed on his brow. John was completely rumpled up, his curls all in a crazy mane and was just done.

Lafayette was the only one who looked put together still, though, his puff wasn't as neat as before from John manhandling it. Still, he kept his composure well, having engaged in such activities.

John was too far gone to pay attention to anything else now.

"Fuck!" Alex shouts. "Fuck, fuck! Baby, I need to cum, right now - shit!"

"Daddy" John whined, his throat muscles popping out as he did, neck and face both pink. "Fuck, do it, _do it!_ "

The strain in John's tone must've helped Alex ride the wave of John's pleasure until they carried him out into his own ecstatic release.

John waited while Alex had finished climaxing, he could feel the spray of hotness splurge up, right inside of him and then all John knew next was that Alex had collapsed right on top of him. They lay there panting, their breathing aligned. John tensed, expecting to loose himself again but this time he didn't.

Alex likewise had been prepared to move and disengage quickly but feeling of John suddenly relax beneath him he sighed and wrapped his arms around John. He pulled them together onto their sides, leaving his spent cock sheathed inside John.

Lafayette looked down at them both, smiled fondly and gave a soft, 'Aww' at the sight of them together. "The pair of you, it is such a sight. How are you both feeling?" Lafayette asked after a few minutes had passed between all their panting.

Alex was the first to speak out, he reached a hand up to cup his husband's cheek, brushed his thumb against Lafayette's scruff and gasped out, "It was fuckin' rad, babe. God, that was intense." Lafayette laughed in return.

"How about you, mon petit, how are you feeling now?" Lafayette gently asked John.

And at that very moment, a tear escaped John.

When no reply came immediately Lafayette and Alex shot each other concerned glances. They both looked over at John, Alex sat up and Lafayette was bending down over him. John had this little smile there on his lips, his eyes were a hazel gloss, a tear had slithered its way down his small nose and John looked miles away.

"John, baby, you alright?" Alex asked, worriedly. "Oh, shit. I didn't overdo it, did I?"

Lafayette is rubbing a hand along John's arm, he feels hot and asking, "Love, please answer. Are you okay?"

John was more than okay.

He had to take a minute out for himself just to enter back into reality. John felt the blood rushed to his head, his heart beat was pounding in his ears and his breathing is erratic. He had held it for so long between the build up of his orgasm that he thought he was on the verge of passing out.

His backside was pulsing, swollen and trickled with hot cum. John also could feel his throat was sore at the back and his jaw ached like crazy. It was like every muscle in his body had ran a long and hard marathon.

Everything was spinning.

He could hear the muffled voices above him, Lafayette and Alex both there, fussing over him. As energy flows back into him, John shifts slowly on to his back so he can look at them both, he slides out from Alex and is there, looking up at them. John's met with worrisome faces and all John could do was release out a soft giggle.

He grinned at them.

"You both worry too much" John says to them.

Alex rolled his eyes and Lafayette pouts at him.

"Mon Cherie, don't do that!" Lafayette scolded. "You almost had us in panic mode!"

John giggled even more and he's wiping his eyes.

"You're such a little shit" Alex sighed. "Honesty, I should spank you. Infact, I will, fuck it. Shift over, show me that ass. C'mon, roll over." And Alex is pawing at John, trying to make him move but John doesn't as he's laughing.

"Honestly, now." Lafayette huffed. He's gone to re-tie his curly puff quickly. "Here I was, worrying incase Alexander had hurt you again. Forget it! Little one, it is you. You are the true minx here."

John scoffed at him and Alex is pointing at Lafayette, all whilst shouting out, "Told you!"

But between all the bickering, bantering, John's laughter, he really wouldn't have it any other way.

Something new was introduced to John as well. Lafayette highly suggested him and Alex take the time out to comfort John after such a rough session. John told them it hadn't been too distressing but Lafayette disagreed and told John he did not want him to experience that again. Alex agreed with Lafayette too, so John let them do whatever it is they wanted.

Alex made them all some hot drinks while Lafayette ran John a nice bath. One which they all ended up going in, then had their drinks and Lafayette got John into a fresh t-shirt, boxers, socks. Alex threw on the thermostat since all their body temperatures had gone now and John always felt the cold more out of them all first. Alex just knew.

Lafayette had John sat between his legs there on the sofa while he brushed out John's curls as they watched the end of some movie. Lafayette commented on how long John's hair was getting and gave him a pretty tousled braid for bed. Alex had ordered some take out on his app, it came not too long after Lafayette did John's hair and they're scoffing it on the sofa together.

Then they watched yet another movie, John between them both, all cuddled up underneath this ridiculously long knitted grey throw Lafayette had recently just ordered from Macys. Alex and John took up most of it while half of it hung off Lafayette on the end since he didn't get cold as often.

Alex crept up a hand there on John's thigh underneath, rubbed it up and down, leant over to John's ear and whispered how he was sorry for earlier. That he hadn't meant to keep on going and how he had no idea since he couldn't see John. But John said it was fine, he kissed Alex and put his hand over Alex's there under the throw.

Lafayette overheard them both and secretly grabbed out his phone from his sweats, on the other side of him, so they couldn't see. Lafayette had Amazon open and he was ordering a few butt plugs in various sizes. Mostly to heat things up between them in the future and because he did not want a repeat of this ever happening again. Nope.

When it was time to switch off, all of them yawning, John in-particular looked the most exhausted. Alex and John bounded off to bed, Lafayette cleaned up the boxes of takeaway, straightened out the sofa, moved any glasses and put the wine back in the fridge.

John and Alex however were getting ready for bed. Alex slipped off his t-shirt with the help of John who pulled it over his head and met Alex right there in his face as the top came over his head. John snuck in a quick little kiss. As their lips parted, John and Alex shared a loving look. John cupped his cheeks and Alex closed his eyes, tossing the t-shirt just by the hamper.

"Love you" John whispered against Alex's lips and kissed him again. " - so much"

And Alex is snaking his arms around John's waist, hoisting him a little and they're hugging, swaying as they do. Alex buried his face in John's neck, kissing it and whispered, "Mm, love you too"

Lafayette came in at that moment and he sees them. He's smiling, as he walked past them both, Lafayette tousles both of their hair and ushers them to get into bed since it was very late. Lafayette reminded them both that he had to be up in literally six hours.

John makes a somewhat of a apologetic noise and Alex reminds him to close the ensuite bathroom door there when he's getting up for a shower. Mostly because it wakes Alex up and he can hear Lafayette's singing. John laughed in response while Lafayette protested that Alex didn't sing much better.

"I don't think I've seen you smile this much before" Alex simply tells John as they're slipping under the sheets.

Lafayette nodded in agreement as he gets in on his side of the bed, they're all now clean, fresh and the sheets have been changed.

That left John there in the middle of them. He's smiling away, after a good hot bath with his daddies and a change into fresh pyjamas. John felt miles better, his body felt tingly and his ass was sore. But it was all good.

"Guess, I'm just happy." John says, cheerfully.

Lafayette hummed and he's got into the bed. He's pulling the sheets over him. "Good" He said.

"Yeah" Alex said with a lopsided smile of his own, he's got into bed and he's flipping off the light before wrapping an arm around John there in the dark. "It suits you"

 

 

 

 

 

And for once, John had to agree. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It did. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> French translation:
> 
> *Ah... Vous avez l'air incroyable de me sucer petit. Papa est content. Un tel ange, ne t'arrête pas. Ne vous arrêtez pas = Ah ... you look amazing to suck me small. Daddy is happy. Such an angel, do not stop. Do not stop.
> 
>  
> 
> *Faites attention = Pay attention
> 
>  
> 
> *"il est si mignon, s'il lui reste de l'énergie après moi, vous pouvez aller ensuite = He's so cute, if he has energy left after me, you can go next"
> 
>  
> 
> AND BREATHE - 
> 
>  
> 
> I'll just leave this here... 
> 
> Okay. Enjoy.
> 
> Also, thank you SO much for all the love on the last chapter! My goodness, all those comments, I didn't expect to get that many and I'm super grateful! 
> 
> So happy, you guys, thank you! And we've made it to over 300 kudos! That's pleased me even more! Thank you, thank you! 
> 
> PS.
> 
> I will be doing a sequel shortly after this one, I've got a storyline planned, but I will also be working on my other stories too. Please keep that in mind!
> 
>  
> 
> I'm over the moon with you guys! 
> 
>  
> 
> Once more, thank you! <3 
> 
>  
> 
> PP XO
> 
>  
> 
> Also my tumblr is here if you guys wanna hit me up: http://littlepinkphoenix.tumblr.com


	23. MOVING ON

 

 

 

 

John fussed and frowned at himself there in the bathroom mirror.

He didn't look awful or anything but still it was only right to make sure he looked his best. He didn't want to make Lafayette look bad after all the trouble he went through to get him an internship at his company.

Well, really, it hadn't been any trouble at all and Lafayette had no difficulty pulling aside one of his executives on the IT floor which specialised in social media, website design and animation. It had been so easy that John didn't even need to hand in a cover letter or any resume.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What his Papa says, goes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John was graduating fairly soon and he needed an internship before then to get the ball rolling before finding full time employment in the city. Alex had already offered to put a good word in for John over at his place and gave John more than enough connections with people who work in high places. John knew he had such an advantage over other people in his class and generally out there, struggling, looking for employment and internships.

He knew he was very privileged, John had always been, from his birth and upbringing, always had nice things, there had been no struggle whatsoever. But he kindly refused Alex and said he would just look for something himself. Resorting in a sweet kiss on Alex's cheek and a small, swift little whisper of 'Thank you, anyway, Daddy'. Alex was aware that John appreciated his efforts and took it with a grain of salt.

But that previous week where John was crouched up on his macbook with Alex on the other sofa, working from home, reading over his piles of papers with his feet resting on the coffee table. Both of them in silence, John's job hunting came to an end when Lafayette arrived home that evening, in a grand jolly mood and big smiles all around.

Lafayette had ripped out his earphones as soon as he stepped foot in the penthouse, he didn't even bother taking his coat off or put his bag down. He ran over to John, Alex's glasses falling off from the whiplash of twisting his head to see what his husband's hurry was and John almost died when he felt Lafayette's arms swing around his neck in a brisk hug.

That was when Lafayette announced John would be working at his company. Alex's face had been a picture, the shock and devastation had coloured his face. John had sat there gaping like a goldfish, confused and Lafayette spilled out all the details. Alex then bawled, tossing some of his papers to the side while he crossed his arms in a huff and sighed about how he wanted John to work for his place.

Then accused his husband of being sneaky and wanting to hog John all to himself. Lafayette laughed in response and then bounded over to Alex, swooping down and kissing him, while John sat there in bewilderment.

But it was already sorted, done and dusted over at Lafayette's company there in the middle of the city.

It was finished, done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John was working for Lafayette.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His Papa.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His boyfriend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Damn.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And here he was, John busying himself trying to tie his hair back neatly and the gel just wasn't slicking hair back well enough. Typical, it was ECO after all. Although it was Lafayette's, John knew he really should buy some of his own and stop borrowing half of Lafayette's hair products. But he had more than enough.

In the end John managed to tie up a nice low pony tail but he decided to bun it. John scowled at it in distaste, it wasn't amazing but at least he smelled like pineapples, plus he was just glad that his hair was growing out now. It was already at hitting shoulder length, his wavy curls doing their thing. Still, he couldn't do that much with it at the moment.

Lafayette said he was waiting for it to 'go back to normality' so he could start doing John's hair in all the fancy styles again. He had missed giving John pretty braids, up do pony tails and trying something new that he had seen on Youtube. Since one of Lafayette's favourite pastimes when he was alone in his office, waiting to go home or being stuck in traffic was to look at some of the hair videos.

Alex didn't really like having them done all too much, sometimes he didn't mind but often he complained whenever Lafayette made a braid or ponytail too tight. John usually sat there and was good for him.

He could hear Alex snoring away out in the bedroom. Lafayette had already fixed himself up, half an hour ago and was making himself a coffee. John could hear the coffee machine in the kitchen, that's if he tuned out Alex's snoring.

Alex didn't have to be up until seven though. Lafayette was always up at five, on the dot. Wide awake too. John, not so much. 

John felt sleepy still himself.

On the first day of his internship, John had totally forgotten about it, lost in his midst of sleep and Lafayette was shaking his shoulder. Telling him to get him and his phone alarm was going off. John whined, said he was so tired and Lafayette practically carried him out the bed. Then into the shower with him, scolding John for staying up too late with Alex watching TV. 

Ugh.

He yawns and then checks his hair again.

At least it looked glossy and shiny on the crimped texture of his sides though. John gave a small hum to himself before washing his face and brushing his teeth.

John messed around with the collar of his shirt. The first two days at Lafayette's place had been good so far. John was enjoying himself, everyone was really nice and helpful. Although John had suspected whether Lafayette had deliberately told his employees not give him any bother.

But then, Alex had jokingly said to Lafayette that if John was late, naughty and gave him grief, to fire him immediately so that Alex could hire John for his place. Alex didn't mind taking John on, they would have a lot of fun together, of course.

John rolled his eyes at himself when he thought back to Alex's words. His Daddy could shut up, he wasn't going to get himself fired or have anyone from Lafayette's work sacked either. He was too nice to be doing that to people and John didn't want to let Lafayette down either. Not when Lafayette had gone through the trouble, well not too much trouble since Lafayette owned the place. But the effort to get him a temporary position was very much taken into account.

After adding the last finishing touches to his hair and another check over. John heard the bathroom door knock and for Lafayette to ask him to hurry since the would be late. Along with Alex just waking up and complaining about the noise of them both.

John stared at himself in the mirror and sighed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Duty called.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Working for the company hadn't been so bad.

It was currently home time though and John wasn't leaving just yet.

He's collecting his bag and jacket from his desk area, leaving the office space and taking the elevator to a certain floor.

His Papa's floor.

Once the elevator doors opened, John was met with lavished fancy hallways, rich beautiful marble flooring, a soft fresh linen scent lingering in the air and fancy plants lining the walls. He knew exactly where to go though.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Far right, on the left, last door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Got it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There it was, his door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John waited outside it for a second or two, he was considering if he should really go ahead and do this. It was bad, but he had to.

So he did, he knocked on it. He got no reply though and he could hear Lafayette behind that door. No one else was around on this floor to tell him off, so John being John just went ahead and opened it.

With a shrug to himself, he did and to his surprise, it was open.

As he opens it, slowly, he's peering his head through.

Lafayette's office was a dream. It was so chic, so fancy and gorgeous. Just like his boyfriend. 

Lafayette only had the best and John, he had the best.

And there he was, his Papa sat at this desk, wittering away on the phone. He mustn't have noticed yet though.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John had to change that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Knock, knock" John called playfully, yet quietly. He had to be alert and discreet in a place like this.

He peeps his head around the door and Lafayette is sat at his desk on the phone.

Lafayette has a surprised expression when he sees John stood there at the door and John sees the way he smirks at him. Lafayette arched a brow at he did and lifted a finger at John, gestured it for John to come in, seductively and John like the good little lamb he was, did.

John slipped past the door and shuts it. He's up right against it, John's hand here behind him gives the lock a quick twist and its latch is secured, in place. They're alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John strolls over to his boyfriend while he's talking away to whoever it was.

As he did, John looks around the office. It was so immaculate, so pristine.

The marble flooring practically glittered.

Everything else was so posh, fresh and modern. Spacious but at a reasonable size. Big tall windows with the blinds pulled down shut with a substantial about of sun light seeping in. Plasma tv on the wall, Lafayette had his own small kitchen space on the far side.

But Lafayette was a Parisian man. He was born into only the best and even here in New York, he liked to keep it that way.

He did used to apparently use the kitchen on his floor with everyone else but the food hygiene habits some of the people had put Lafayette off. Splatters in the microwave, the sink plug hole always jabbed with smoothie drinks, porridge from breakfast snack pots and rice from people's lunch. Coffee granules all over the side and someone always kept using Lafayette's coffee cream powder.

Well, that had been it.

The final straw.

Lafayette never showed his annoyance though. It had been a twitch of the eye and a quote on the phone for a booking.

So enough was enough and Lafayette had gotten his very own kitchen built inside his office instead.

John knew just how cleanly Lafayette was. He didn't like mess, he hated dirt and grime.

John had asked Lafayette once why he didn't like mess, even just a bit of mess. John didn't mind it and nor did Alex. Lafayette told John that when he was a child, him and his cousins visited a farm for a day out with the family before having a meal at a nearby inn one summer. It had been a gorgeous summer day in Toulouse.

Then when visiting the pigs, Lafayette had never smelt such a foul smell in his life and jokingly, one of his cousins as a dare who enjoyed picking on Lafayette. They had pushed him over the rail and Lafayette had ended up topping into the mud pit. Resulting in a scarred Lafayette and him screaming to high heavens.

Ever since that incident, Lafayette had a thing against dirt, mud and pigs.

That had been such a traumatic tale.

Now every time Alex and John would walk through the front door with their shoes on, any mud, wet leaves stuck to the bottom of the soles, filth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mud.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lafayette complained at the top of his lungs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even if Lafayette was still working late and they were already home without him. Lafayette would arrive home and after a few minutes, he would see the footsteps on the flooring, he would actually walk around the front room checking for them.

When John had first ever witnessed it he had been worried for Lafayette. Alex gave him a nudge and told him not to worry about it. He said it happened all the time and that his husband was a germ freak. Lafayette then pointing to a few of the marks and good god, when he had spotted John with his sneakers still on.

John had been mortified when Lafayette's finger then directed at his shoes. Alex laughing how he was in for it now and John whining how Alex should've told him. Lafayette had the buffer out of the cupboard, still dressed in his work clothes and he was plugging it in. Enraged at the sight of dirt, like a mad man.

After that, John had never worn his shoes around the penthouse, dirty, ever, again.

Usually though, on a weekend John did give Lafayette help cleaning. Alex helped too but halfway through went back to working.

Lafayette cleaned a completely different way to Alex.

Where Alex would just use an old dish cloth to wipe the windows or coffee table, still damp with water, not really paying attention to the stains it may leave. Lafayette would loose his shit and launch the spray, a dry duster at him before telling Alex to do it properly.

So, if Alex did not follow what Lafayette wanted him to do or got in the way of his good, Sunday afternoon home scrub. Lafayette usually told Alex he would prefer it if he just went back to his office. A typical marriage quarrel between them would occur but Alex always came down, gave his husband a kiss and hug. It would always have Lafayette smiling again.

None of it honestly surprised John anymore, he knew what they were both like. Petty in their own ways.

John makes his way over to Lafayette and as he does, he stops for a moment. Smiling softly and Lafayette acknowledges him, he keeps eye contact with John before shifting them away to write something down.

When he did, John pouted. Well, this was no fun.

John already had done everything he needed to do for the day.

Most of his colleagues had gone home apart from the senior manager and another person. John had been so excited to come see Lafayette too. He had to wait all day just to come here and see him.

At the start of his internship Lafayette had told John that they had to keep their relationship strictly professional. It was just how Lafayette kept things. He wasn't ashamed of John, by all means. Most of the people he associated at work knew he was married to another man. But with John, Lafayette didn't want John facing any backlash by other employees.

Have them thinking John would be getting special treatment or riding his coattails. John was being treated the same way as any other employee and Lafayette made certain of that. He had John stay the full day, morning till evening. His rate of pay was the same, he had to pull his weight with the job and produce.

When it came to work and business Lafayette was a whole different person. At home it was laughter, games on the xbox, kisses, cuddling, mind-blowing sex, joking around with Alex, them picking out stuff online together, watching Lafayette make an ass of himself in the bathroom, whilst he danced around while doing his hair as he sang out of tune.

Him holding Alex by the waist at the stove as they cooked, him and Lafayette making hilarious tik tok videos together when they were really bored. Lafayette was a fun person to be around and wild when he came out of his shell. Sometimes he could be more ruthless than Alex, John noticed.

But those were just the cute moments.

Here, at his company, Lafayette was stern.

There had been a few times where Lafayette had passed him with some other managers and visitors. Looking as important as ever, face firm, them writing down and talking to his boyfriend as they walked by. John had been hurt when Lafayette hadn't even batted him as much as a look. But that was just business, that was how it was and how Lafayette liked it keep it.

John thought it was fair enough though and was grateful for such an opportunity.

However, today John was feeling particularly rather needy.

"Papa" John says under his breath.

John is then leaning down over Lafayette, looping his arms around Lafayette's neck and whispering it into his free ear. John gave the shell of his ear a little lick and nipped it softly.

He can feel Lafayette give him a small budge with his shoulder as if he's asking John to stop.

John doesn't.

"Papa" John repeated, slightly louder this time and he places a kiss on Lafayette's neck. "Papa, I want attention"

Lafayette heaves a sigh through his nose, he sits backwards, causing John to unwind his arms from him and John frowns. He goes on to write and chatter on the phone. Lafayette was so endorsed in his conversation that he was started when he felt John cheekily take a seat on his desk. Right infront of him, on top of his papers and Lafayette's face was a picture.

John snorted, bit his lip and tried to keep quiet. Lafayette looked deadly. John kept his smile, a gleam of play in his eyes and he knew Lafayette was going to go off at him once he got off that phone. Lafayette kept his eyes bared at him, sharp and they were drilling holes through him.

When Lafayette went back to his conversation, tapping his pen down on the desk as he did. John leans forward and he's palming a hand up Lafayette's thigh. John slides it up and down, the feeling of the rich fabric of Lafayette's tight trousers tingled his fingers. John keeping eye contact with him and he giggled when he slid his hand right up to Lafayette's crotch. Squeezing that region and this had Lafayette shooting up.

"Right -" Lafayette muttered quietly, he pulled the phone away as he did. John leant back there on the desk, he's flirtatiously eyeing his boyfriend up and down. Waiting for this stupid call to end. John was sick of it, all work and no play. He needed a good dicking before they went off home.

Not that John couldn't already get that off Alex, but he too was working non-stop in his office. Alex hadn't left that office for a full week nearly, well, for meals, to hit the store or if he needed to visit his boss at his company. If John annoyed him enough, he could totally get it off Alex as well.

But Lafayette was here and he wanted Lafayette.

The pair of them were such workaholics sometimes, it was annoying.

"John, love, _cherie_ " Lafayette whispered, stressfully. "I am working, sh."

With that Lafayette went back to his call.

"Papa" John tries again.

Lafayette shakes his head at him as he's trying to listen to whoever it was on the phone.

"Papa, don't ignore me" John whined, he put too much emphasis on as he did and he's nudging his leg on Lafayette's.

Lafayette puts a finger to his lips at John, frowning, John didn't like it when Lafayette ever frowned. It didn't look right on him.

So John leans forward this time and he goes straight for Lafayette's belt. John tilts his head back, staring up at an agitated Lafayette as he's trying to unbuckle his belt. John was so going to give him a blow job. This was so naughty, the rush John was getting from this, trying to get his boyfriend off during an important call. It gave him such a thrill.

"I am sorry, one second, Sir. Excuse me -" Lafayette says, then all professionalism is down the drain as he shoots his dark eyes to John.

John could see the storm rumble up in them. Lafayette gives John a very stern look, the type he used with Alex when they didn't agree on something or bickered. Lafayette rarely was firm with John. Often, if anything, Lafayette babied John and was a lot more softer with him. Their relationship was more intimate, gentler and sweeter if John had to sum it up.

To see Lafayette like this with him, oh it turned him on.

Lafayette covers the speaker of the phone and mutters out, "My darling, if you do not behave, you _will_ pay for it. Once I am off this phone, you will." Lafayette scolds. "Do not interrupt me during my work"

John bites at his lip to stop himself from smiling. Inside he was screaming with laughter.

" - And do not dare laugh" Lafayette squints his eyes that little bit, warning seething inside of them. John feels his throat tighten from his boyfriend's threat. "I am warning you, now. Stoppit."

With that Lafayette went back to talking and John waited patiently on the desk. Lafayette wandered over to the window though, he's laughing that false, polite, kind of laughter yet kept professional all at the same time. He's got his back turned to John.

John watched him, pouting and he slips off the desk, then heads over to where Lafayette was. John sneakily goes up right behind him, he's wrapping his arms around Lafayette's chest. He's on his tip-toes and goes right into kissing just underneath Lafayette's jaw. He hears Lafayette make a low groan and he's trying his best to continue talking.

As John finishes the kissing, he whispered, "Hurry up"

At this Lafayette turns his head, he looks down at John behind him, John knew he had some nerve doing this. But it was exciting. Lafayette clutches his phone, tighter. Obviously annoyed. John sees this and he can feel his stomach quake. He's slightly nervous and his anxiousness grew worse when Lafayette finally bid whoever it was goodbye.

John was stepping away.

Lafayette immediately grabbed John by the shoulder, halting him.

Oh John knew.

He slipped from Lafayette's grasp and John shot away from him. This had been such a bad idea, only just now he realises that. Shit.

Lafayette is tapping at the phone's screen and he's pocketing it in his trousers. He gives John daggers, John is nearly at the door. Lafayette pursed his lips before calling out for John.

"John" Lafayette called again.

John stops, he's got hold of the door handle. He didn't trust that look in Lafayette's menacing eyes.

"Yeah?" John squeaks.

Lafayette strolled over to his desk chair and drums his fingers on the back of it.

"Come" Lafayette tells him.

Instantly, John shook his head.

Lafayette drops his head down, he laughed to himself, John saw his shoulders shake as he did. He then looked back up at John and says, "Come here, come." Lafayette said. John did, so, not trust that smile of his. It was mischievous.

John shakes his head.

"Why not?" Lafayette asks, he pouts himself before his sweet lips turn back into a devious grin. "You were lingering around here for quite some time, non, Cherie? Come back."

Again John shakes his head, he had to burst into a smile himself though. "Nah, I'm good here."

Lafayette raised his brow. "Why is that?"

"You look like you want to kill me" John told him, snickering as he did. "Nah, hun. I'm fine, chilling here. By the door." John turns so he can look back at the door and he's slowly turning the handle.

Lafayette gave John a look as he was slyly trying to open the door. He watches John sharply unlock the door, twisting it and the latch opens. But what John doesn't know is that Lafayette had his very own special lock. One which only he could use.

It unlocked and John's hand there behind him was turning he handle.

Lafayette slipped a hand under his desk and he's button a button there.

As John goes to open the door, his eyes bulge when he realises the door is still jammed, locked. He turns and tries to open the door, pulling at it. But it was pointless.

The look on John's face caused Lafayette to howl.

Lafayette's laughter caught his attention and John looked over at him worriedly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fuck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lafayette was leaning on the back of his chair, arms crossed against it. He was watching John with great interest, licking his lips as he did. John knew he had no other option now, he had to submit and take the punishments he deserved.

When John didn't budge, Lafayette wagged his finger at him.

"Here, now" Lafayette ordered.

The same tone he used with his clientele and employees. Demanding, slightly cold, direct. But so, sexy. John's palms were already clogging up.

"What Papa?" John tilts his head, cutely. He was just going to play along then.

And he hoped Lafayette would go somewhat easy on him. He was worried now.

"You know what you were doing, do not play games." Lafayette told him. "Now come here"

"Why?" John sang, smiling, naughtily.

Lafayette raised his brow at John's tone and the challenge in his eyes. Lafayette actually scoffed. "Cherie, come here."

John snorted out another laugh, saying, "You haven't said why though?!"

"I said so, that is why."

"But why?"

"You know why, you are not stupid. Stupidity does not suit such a pretty face, little Laurens. You are a clever young man. Now -" Lafayette shifts slightly in his chair. "Here" John watches him carefully, Lafayette was about to get up and pounce.

Fuck, John thought.

"Papa" John says, slowly. Eyeing Lafayette up. "What're you gonna do..."

Lafayette smiled eerily. "Nothing, why so suspicious?"

"It's just that -"

Enough was enough.

Lafayette was storming over to John and he's got him in seconds. John was in his grasp, there up against his chest and Lafayette had his arms barricaded around John. John squealed and he's laughing loudly. Lafayette tells him to hush and to make it worse, Lafayette hoists John over his shoulder. Effortless, like he was a rag doll.

"Papa!" John wailed. "Oh my god!"

He felt Lafayette swat him right on the backside and that's when he also felt Lafayette cup his ass too. Lafayette shakes his head, he shoves John over his desk. Some of the papers, pens rolled off the floor and John is shifting to look up at him.

"You asked for trouble, mon petit. So you are going to pay the consequences." Lafayette muttered. "Understood?"

John tried to give Lafayette his big, cute, sad eyes. That trick only earned him one more slap on the ass though.

"Ow!" John hissed.

Lafayette shook his head, smirking. "That will not work, I tell you, time and time again."

"But Papa -"

"No buts, you have misbehaved. So now, you will pay, you will respect me when I am working and heed my warnings in the future. Yes?" Lafayette said. So this may happen again in the future. John bites his bottom lip, he smiled as he did. This was so juicy, he couldn't wait.

As Lafayette rakes his eyes over John, his expression falls blank and he narrowed his eyes. John suddenly feels a pang of alarm and he turns to seriousness now. "Uh, Laf?"

He can feel Lafayette's fingers tug at his belt loop.

"Laf?" John asks again.

There is a pang of silence and their eyes meet. Lafayette did not look happy at all. John was confused.

"What is this, hm?" Lafayette asks, curiously. "Oh, dear. Oh good god."

John lifts a brow up at him. He didn't follow.

Lafayette fell back into laughter and he's swatting John on his side. "You are so naughty! Cherie, what exactly is the dress code?"

'Huh?"

John looked at him as if he were backwards. He really didn't get it.

"Trousers, yes?" Lafayette questioned, his eyes darkening by the second.

John bit his lip, oh shit.

Now he got it.

"Yeah?" John says back, sounding slightly nervous.

"Then why, tell me, why, Cherie you are roaming my offices in the likes of black jeans?" Lafayette asked.

"They're not -"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another smack.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ah!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John was surprised, he looked back at Lafayette with wide shocked eyes. That was actually hard, geez.

"You will not lie to me, no. You will not. Honestly." Lafayette sighed, shaking his head. "You are wearing black, tight, jeans. Laurens. Aren't you?"

John looked to the side for a second and then back at Lafayette, he twisted his mouth before stupidly answering with, "Maybe"

"You should be wearing trousers!" Lafayette cried.

Truthfully John couldn't find his black trousers. He had no idea where he had folded them and placed them. John wondered if maybe they had gotten mixed up with Alex's laundry pile. John had to giggle at the thought though, Alex would get such a shock. They weren't going to fit him at all.

So black jeans had been a last resort at half six in the morning when rushing to get ready. Lafayette on his case about how they needed to get out for seven. John didn't have the time to go laundry diving in all the clothing piles that they needed to put away at some point.

John then dropped his gaze with a false pout. "And you can stop that look, do not act as if you are sorry. I know that you are not."

"But, Papa. I am" John mewled, sweetly and he's shifting to sit properly, then John is leaning forward closer up to Lafayette.

John pretends to be shy, he's got his eyes fixated to the floor and he is bold with his actions though. He leans up to wraps his arms around Lafayette's neck. Pulling him slightly. He can smell his deep, musky, spiced cologne. Rather fitting for a man behind the desk with his power. It only aroused John more though.

"And so what if I am, what're you gonna do about it?"

Lafayette squints ever so at John.

"You are really testing me today, my love. You are." Lafayette tells him, darkly.

John moves his hands to the back of Lafayette's head and he brings him closer so their lips are almost touching. They're both smiling against each other and the tip of John's tip lip was practically nuzzling Lafayette's.

"Like I said, Papa. What're you gonna do about it?"

In seconds the small gap between them closed. Lips pushed up against each others and John moaned into the kiss softly. As they kissed, Lafayette pushes John up on the desk there and the sudden move has John giggling into their kiss. Lips peppering each other, Lafayette's scruff tickling his chin and the pair of them just fall into a blissful realm of passion.

Lafayette is then kissing at John's neck, he undoes two of John's shirt buttons and goes for his collar bone. John's humming a few light moans and his fingers are all up in Lafayette's puff pony.

"Aw, shit -" John uttered as Lafayette's sucking on a sweet spot there on his neck. "Papa, yes, more. Hey, get me off while you're at it -" So Lafayette gives him more and the sudden nip causes John to squeak. He gives Lafayette a look of 'what was that for!' and Lafayette smirks.

"You will get what you are given, little Laurens." Lafayette tells him. "You have been bad, therefore, you are in no position to start demanding."

"Papa -"

Lafayette hushes him with his finger on top of John's lips. It sends John cross-eyed and he frowned at Lafayette while he laughed at his expression.

"Silence" Lafayette said, in the french way of speaking. John's tummy bubbled at it, he knew it was about to go down. When Lafayette started speaking french to him, oh, it was happening alright.

And he was back going at John's neck however John interrupted him. "But Papa, you know what I want." John rasped. "Get on with it"

God, John was so worked up right now. He needed Lafayette. Still, his attitude didn't go amiss.

Lafayette growls against John's throat and John is certain as he's lay there, his pants have just tightened because of that. Lafayette shifts, he looks down at John as he's arched over him and raises his brow.

John gave him such a sulky face and made his eyes big.

"Papa" John says, he makes his voice stay small but there in that tint of cheekiness in it that Lafayette hears over everything. Lafayette was there staring him down with that sharpness, this tension between them had to end. John wanted to get into this. He needed some action. _"Avoir un lapin dans la gorge"_

Well that had Lafayette snorting out laughing. It always amused him when John tried with his French and where he got all these sayings from. The things John would ask him and how even some of the things John found, Lafayette had never heard of before. So Lafayette masks his laughter quickly with a serious face though.

"Ah, no, no. See you have gotten that phrase wrong, as it is _chat_ not _lapin_ -" Lafayette gives John's nose a bit of a teasing flick. John whelps in return. "Cherie, please, do not butcher my language."

"Fine, well, give me what I want -" John whined, wriggling underneath him there.

"Mm, needy and impatient" Lafayette said. "Perhaps I should make you wait or -" Lafayette paused, leaning down further and his face inches away from John's.

Their eyes burrowing into each others, pools of honey clashing with sweet hazel.

John was kept waiting, until, _"Peut-être que je devrais te baiser maintenant. Va te faire foutre, jusqu'à ce que tu t'évanouisses, je vais mettre ma main sur ta bouche pour que personne ne puisse t'entendre crier."_

Lafayette lips curled and John's heart went racing.

God, that sounded so hot.

John caught bits of his words and some of it he didn't know. His face said it all.

"Would you like that?" Lafayette asked him, tauntingly.

John rolled his eyes, Lafayette obviously getting a kick out of John's weaker language skills.

With a sigh, John pouts and he lunges forward, grabbing Lafayette's tie and he yanks him down. Lafayette grunts as this happened, he hadn't expected that and the force was quite strong.

John's eyes hard as nails, he wasn't playing around anymore.

"Papa, you better listen, don't make fun of me." He warned.

Lafayette snickered, John had some balls.

"Fuck me"

Lafayette tilts his heard slightly, his smile warm and sweet. John sees it, the narrowing of his eyes. Lafayette's arm snaps and he's gone straight for John's curly bun. He pulled it backwards so John's head tilted and Lafayette staring down at him was the only thing in view.

John's small gasp must've alarmed Lafayette because he loosened his grip on him slightly. Lafayette didn't like going too rough on John unlike Alex who went in there, where him and John roughed it up in the sheets. But with Lafayette it was different, he knew his strength and how he was a lot stronger than John.

Still this was firm enough to get the message through though; he was in charged.

But John wanted it rougher with him.

"Sweet, if I could fuck you the way I  _really_  would like, goodness - you would be hospitalised." John bites the corner of his lip at that. That could possibly happen, Lafayette was big enough but there was only one way to find out.

Lafayette gripped the back of his head a little tighter, John wincing a bit as he did. "Now you, listen to _me_. I am your boss, not you. Me. I make the rules, you follow."

"Oh yeah?" John added, cheekily.

He paid for that when Lafayette gritted his nails into his scalp and John made a mixture of a moan but a small whine.

"I can make your life hell as this company, little one." Lafayette told him, his voice deeper. "Even on an internship, it does not matter."

Then John pouts, "Papa, I should be your favourite" 

"Ah, well, favouritism does not stand here." Lafayette tells him, meanly. "You are like all my other employees, I treat you the way I would anyone else. However if you cross me -" 

"What?" John pushed.

Out of nowhere Lafayette rams John down that extra bit harder, rougher, it ignited such a rush inside of John.

Lafayette smirked. 

John's breath hitched.

"Do not tempt me" He warned.

John cockily sang. "Sounds scary"

"Mm, it is."

Then John is slowly sitting up, Lafayette remained leaning over him though. He wasn't budging. "You wanna be the big bad boss, truth is, Papa. You aren't." John cooed. Lafayette looked pissed, generally too. John knew Lafayette hated being redeemed as a push over at times, he was too nice to be horrible. "Are you? You're a kitten in a cat's collar. You don't have it in you, do you?"

Lafayette's eye twitched at that last comment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Mistaken"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That was the last thing John heard before he's roughly taken, flipped on his front with a chatter of the teeth and spanked right on the ass.

"I have tried to be delicate with you, little one. But you went and abused that. You and your naughtiness, I cannot stand by and allow you to talk to me in such a manner." Lafayette spat.

He's got one hand on John's hair pinning him down and his other is undoing his belt.

"Papa, I'll be good -" John tells him, sweetly, whining. "Promise, I promise, Papa"

Lafayette shakes his head. "You have broken that promise, you are simply just too bad. So, you must be punished." Lafayette chuckled as he added, "cela nous apprendra"

John scowls to himself, he understood that one. Mean.

So John swatted Lafayette from behind. Lafayette's jaw dropped at that, his baby had just thumped him on the side of his leg.

That was it.

Then Lafayette is goes for his tie and he's undoing it. Slipping it off. "Right, I see. I see how it is."

"Hm?" said John.

He's in full shock when Lafayette grabbed both his arms, pulling them right behind him and only realising what was happening. When he could feel Lafayette's tie being bound around his wrists.

"Papa!" John whined. "What're you doing?!"

Lafayette stopped for a moment. His face now serious and smile gone. He had to know if this was okay or not.

"You do not want to be tied up?"

John doesn't give an answer, he's looking at Lafayette over on his shoulder with a stubborn look. Frowning.

"Papa I'll be good" John mumbled. "I'm a good boy" And he's giving Lafayette the big eye treatment, yet again. Lafayette sighed, laughed as he did. When would John learnt that didn't work with him. It only worked with Alex.

Ah, he was going along with it. Lafayette went back to his wicked grin and tightened the tie around his wrists.

"I will not be deceived by you anymore, so, stop with those eyes." Lafayette tells him. "And yes, you will be good, this time. I will make sure of it."

With John's hands now bound.

Lafayette leaned over him and he's undoing a few more of John's shirt's buttons. One by one, pop, pop. As he did, Lafayette slid a hand just under the front of John's shirt and he's wandering it around. John moaned in return.

He ran his hands down John's sides and back up, brushing his thumbs over his nipples. John squeaked.

"You like that, hm?" Lafayette made sure to keep his voice low so it didn't travel beyond his office door. John nodded his head and bit his lip when Lafayette pinched one of them brown little buds between his fingers.

John relished the sensation, closing his eyes and enjoyed himself. He loved nipple play, it always got his cock quaking.

"You are so sensitive, are you not?" John nodded again and closed his eyes, letting a few curly strands of hair fall over his face as he arched his back like a yawning cat.

"Gorgeous" Lafayette says. "Still - you will pay."

And his hand was gone.

John's eyes re-opened wide.

"Papa..."

Lafayette could only grin. "Shhh. You must be quiet." Then Lafayette moved a hand down to his crotch, he unbuttoned his own pants and took his cock out, giving it lazy strokes and he's then un-doing John's flyer. Lafayette then goes to John's cock, he's palming it there at the front of his boxers and gives it a teasingly good tug.

"Ah!" John rasped.

Lafayette hushed him again. "Shh, shh."

"I want you to fuck me, Papa. I can't wait any longer, I want it now."

Lafayette is shovelling John's jeans down and he's swatting him on the ass again. "Enough, do not order me around."

"But Papa -" John croaked, so needly.

This time Lafayette didn't hold back. He leans over John, he grabs John by the chin and has his head tilt way back. John is in shock, it's so forceful and it made him feel so delicate being manhandled like this.

He liked it.

Lafayette looks over him, staring into John's eyes and he gives John a stern look. "No back chat"

He then lets John go, has him arched back over his big desk and Lafayette steps back, he's getting to work. He shoves John's boxers down, rolling them just round his taught slim thighs, his bare ass on view. The boxers - little turtle ones, it was so cute they had little sunglasses on and palm trees. Lafayette smiled at them wholeheartedly. Not that John saw.

So cute, his little one was just so, so, sweet.

Before anything Lafayette is going into his drawer where he kept his wallet. Usually, he had it out incase he needed to run to the nearest deli for lunch or any online purchases he liked to make during his spare time in the office.

"Papa?" John asked in question, he was wondering what was happening back there.

Lafayette ignored him. He's getting his wallet out and roaming through it, ah, there it was. A condom.

John can hear the ruffling of a wrapper and that was when John knew.

At this John pouted. "I don't want you to wear a condom."

"You can't always get your way." Lafayette reminded him.

"But you always get your way. We always fuck without one on!" John snorted.

Lafayette chuckled. "Cherie, I do not want to make a mess in this office. Especially, not on my desk and my work that you are lay on. "

"Papa!" John kicked a leg. "You'll be leaving your load inside of me, doesn't matter. We're going home after, right? I can always take a shower back home."

Lafayette sighed.

No, just no.

That was gross.

John was slowly started to pick up and say the most filthiest shit from Alex. Lafayette had noticed slowly. His husband was such a bad influence.

"Darling, you are not leaving my office, sullied and sitting in my car, dribbling on the seat." He grimaced at the thought of getting those seats ruined, no, not his car. "Mon petit, we _are_ using one -"

"Or?"

"We don't do this"

"Fine..." John huffed.

Good.

Lafayette rolled the condom on, used the rest of the lube inside the packet to slick himself up, and guided John closer towards him, John closed his eyes as he felt Lafayette toy with his ass. Fingers, digging in and out of him. Lafayette curling two at a time around his hole, raking all of him and John's face crumpled into bliss.

John's soft moans filled the office. Oh, it felt amazing. So good.

Then Lafayette found it, that spot. Yes.

"Papa, shit, more, harder -" John muffled against the desk. "Mm, yes -"

"Hush" Lafayette used his other hand to swat John's ass cheek.

John winced but the returning pleasure overtook any stinging pain.

Soon after he was slicked up, John felt those fingers leave him and this was always his favorite part, the seconds following after Lafayette slid completely into him. John's mouth opened, his brows meeting and he gasps. Another moan as he did.

"So tight" Lafayette told him, he shoved in that little bit extra until he couldn't anymore.

John always took him pretty well. Sometimes it did take them a bit of manoeuvring around before John was fully comfortable. Lafayette had him settle before shifting his own legs into a position he felt he could really pound John.

"Mm, fuck. Papa, like that." John gasped again, as Lafayette moved deeper inside of him.

His cock, large as it was, it was diving further into John and John's making another moan. He loved it. Lafayette's cock was just pure heavenly and blasphemous in the way it made him feel. Sinful, sexy, naughty, John always felt great when he took him. Lafayette always engulfed every inch of him too, he was always full to the brim and John needed it, he needed this.

After a long week of working, his daddies too caught up in their own workload, John needed that TLC. All that great extra loving, he deserved it.

As John clenched around him, he knew how much Lafayette loved that. It was almost like trapping him inside, teasing him in his own way while trying to adjust. John loved the promise of what was about to come. It was like standing on the starting block waiting for the signal to dive into a utopia of heaven.

Then Lafayette started to move, John's bound and even though he has a condom on, inside of him. John can still appreciate the feeling, it was raw and good. Lafayette drifting in and out of him slowly at first before picking up the pace, a fierce pace which had John howling.

Slapping of flesh soon filled the office and moans became heftier, louder.

Lafayette shoved John's face into the desk, among his journal under some files and held him down while he fucked deeper into the John's ass. His kitten was making the sweetest sounds every time he slammed his hips down onto John's soft, round ass and his cock disappeared between the cheeks.

Lafayette twisted his fingers in John's curly locks of hair and pulled his head up so he could see his face.

John's eyes were barely open and drool was starting to form at the corner of his parted lips and it was the most delicious sight Lafayette had ever seen. With his head arched back so far his voice was strained, causing John's moans to be stunted and breathy. Lafayette licked up his exposed neck, savoring the way John's muscles moved under each heaved breath.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Papa - Ah!" John wailed, it sounded like a sob more so than anything. "Shit, more, more -"

It was cruel but as John was meeting his rhythm, moving his own hips, John bounded backwards the very same time Lafayette was shifting forwards. So John came down, landing right on that sacred spot. Lafayette enjoyed hearing that moan. Oh, it was the loveliest sound. John actually cried, he _cried_.

"Pa..."

" _Merde_ , you're so good. So fucking sweet, so tight for Papa."

"Pa...Papa..."

Lafayette bit down on John's neck and pulled his bun again, two quick, harsh tugs. John wailed as he did.

"You want to feel good, hm, little one? I will make you feel so good, I'm going to make you scream."

John squeezed his eyes shut tight and grit his teeth, a squeaky whine forcing its way through and out. Lafayette slowed his pace down and teased with long rolls of his hips and whispers against John's neck.

"You take my cock so fucking amazing... How does it feel? How does it feel to have Papa's huge cock up your tight little ass?"

John pushed back against him and let out a cry, trying so desperately to catch his breath through his gasps. It was too loud, Lafayette clasped a hand right over John's mouth this time and thundered back into John, mercilessly. John had tears in his eyes by this point. Lafayette hushed him once more.

"So... so good, little one... Yes!"

John clenched around Lafayette and he faltered in his rhythm, breathing out a soft 'oh fuck' into Lafayette's palm.

"You like this? You dirty little boy, getting fucked by your Papa, in my office..." Lafayette tells him.

"Papa, yes!" John moaned.

Lafayette breathed out a laugh, muffling it against John's neck.

"Do you like idea of anyone listening in on us? I bet you do, you terrible little thing." Lafayette chuckled.

He gave another few shattering thrusts into John. The moans increased.

"Look at you, my _petit chiot_ in heat, just begging for me to scratch your filty little itch... Tell me, my love, does it get you hot knowing that a young man like yourself is begging for an older man to fuck you?" Lafayette rasped, he dives into John again at a torturous motion and John is biting his lip, the build up in his belly was almost at its peak.

He needed to cum soon.

He let go of John's hair and immediately John let his head fall.

"Yes! Yes... Ah, yes..." John started to roll his hips back into Lafayette's thrusts and soon their frantic fucking evened out into smooth love making, and Lafayette was transfixed; completely mesmerised by how John's spine arched and moved, working his hips in a way only an athlete's muscles could endure.

Finally, after another good few minutes of fucking. So hard, so good eventually John came.

He was just done.

His prostate was beat up, torn, wrecked. His thighs were quivering, he'd been standing for so long.

John felt his legs turn to jelly and with this he lost some balance. His head was fuzzy, ear tingled and his heartbeat was drumming in them. His eyes were blotched with tears, drool on some of Lafayette's papers and he had came all down the inner muscle of his thigh. Some of it dribbled down into is boxers, straining the cute, innocent, little turtle cartoons.

The pair of them remained panting for a couple of minutes before taking off again, slower this time.

"...Beautiful. My darling, you are so beautiful." Lafayette whispered to him.

John's eyes fluttered open wider and Lafayette was thrilled to see the red creep up into the John's cheeks. He leaned down and trailed gentle kisses along John's nape, up his ear and to his cheek. Pressing a loving kiss right there on it.

John bit his lip and widened his stance, rolling his hips slower. It was amazing how long John could last, how young and strong his muscles were, toned from the odd gym session he did during the weekday evenings. Lafayette was in bliss and he could only watch as his baby took charge infront him, fucking himself slowly on his cock.

"Papa... I wanna feel you come... I wanna feel Papa's come... Ah..." John says in a tiny voice. "Please, please, now, ahh -"

Lafayette finally gave in. He rolled off the condom, he drops it into the bin under his desk and he shoves right back into John. Pleased how his hole was still gaped, slicked and ready for his return. John made a soft 'mm' as he went back inside, obviously enjoying the fullness of his cock.

Once this happened, Lafayette pressed his chest along John's back and let his hips twitch in small humps to match John's rhythm.

"Papa's got you, my love... Such a sweet, boy."

John's moans were pressed against his lips and teeth, echoing through his throat, like he was enjoying a particularly sweet dessert.

He gripped his fists into balls behind him, he sped up his pace, chasing the pleasure that was building up, climbing, getting closer and closer.

"Oh, oh fuck -" John wept.

"Keep going, keep going -" Lafayette chanted as he panted.

John's hips stilled as he felt Lafayette come, his cock twitching and squirting. Lots of hot, heavy, amounts of gorgeous cum.

John gasped and rolled his hips once, twice, before relaxing completely. Lafayette thrust into John, abandoning control, and fucked him like it was the last chance he had.

"Oh you are so good..." Lafayette gasped out.

John smiled as he moaned and arched his back, raising his ass as high as he could for his Papa.

"Papa... Please... more!"

Stars exploded behind John's eyes as Lafayette came, his big, brown cock pushed deep inside of him.

Nothing felt so extraordinary, so fulfilling as being inside of the tight, hot walls of his baby as he fell apart and came, knowing he was the reason John had come only moments before.

"Aw, little one" Lafayette panted. "So good..."

"Laf..." John heaves, still panting, smiling. He felt good.

Lafayette waited to catch his breath before pulling out and rolling over, splaying John across his desk. Immediately earning a dopey post-sex smile from John. Lafayette un-did his wrists from his tie, he tossed that aside and he's leaning down to capture John in a loving kiss. John's lay there with Lafayette over him, he's kissing him back and giggling.

As Lafayette pulls away, John gasps for air. "Damn, Laf, hun. You gotta give a dude some notice, fuck."

Lafayette looks at him cluelessly. "Notice?"

"Yeah! I didn't even get chance to shake my arms out!" John laughs. "You had me tied up for some time, damn."

"Oh" Lafayette said curtly.

John giggled some more, he looks at his boyfriend with sleepy, tear-ridden eyes, his curly hair a mess with the bun falling out and flustered dimpled John's. Lafayette fell in love almost all over again at such a sight. John gave him a toothy grin and he's taking Lafayette by the cheeks. Tapering his thumbs around his perfectly shaven beard and kissing him full on.

"That was, fucking, intense." John says, then bites his lip. Lafayette smirks. "We should do this again -"

"Mm, we should, indeed." Lafayette said, he takes John by his waist, squeezes his lithe sides. "However we must remain discreet, little one. You know how important work is to me."

"I know" John told him, nodding. "I respect that, you know I do."

Lafayette arched a brow. "Are you sure about that?"

John bats him on the shoulder, scoffing. "Of course! Now who's being cheeky!"

Well Lafayette could only laugh.

As John is getting down from the desk, they both laugh at the imprint of John's sweaty ass cheeks on Lafayette's desk. Then there was the torn up papers, files shifted all over the place, the pen holder had fallen over and the office phone was hanging off the desk. John helped Lafayette clean up and sort it all out though.

Lafayette zipped up his flyer, he's throwing his belt back on, straightening his shirt out and putting back on his tie - well, John put it back on for him. Adding a kiss to Lafayette's lips as he did. The pair of them looked like a doting married couple themselves. Well, with Alex in the mix there too.

He tells John to stay put so he can go out and grab some tissue from the bathroom. Once Lafayette was back, he's cleaning John up and dressing him. Fawning over him like a loving parent.

Just then Lafayette's phone went off with a sudden 'bing'. They already knew who it was.

As Lafayette is re-doing John's hair, he's trying to neaten it out and worm it back into a cute bun for him. John stood there, letting him, he says, "Should we tell Alex?"

And Lafayette's other hand, it wandered down to John's backside, palming one of his ass cheeks. John looks at him over his shoulder, both had a sinful look in their eyes.

"I think you already know the answer to that, right, Cherie?" Lafayette smirked.

John smirked back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Right Papa"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, it was their little secret then.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After Lafayette had sorted John out and himself, he grab his keys, slipped on his coat, bag, lights off in the office.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They're away and driving home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next evening John was lounging on the sofa, eyes on the tv with his hood up. He was lost in his thoughts, while life was great. John didn't feel so optimistic or happy as he usually was.

Everyone was fine, his siblings were happy, his father was tuning in on him often, Lafayette and Alex were good to him. John had been doing his best to smuggle Peggy, Eliza, Angelica and Hercules into his free time more. This weekend he had a movie night with his girls, pizza, drinks, movie and a boogie together over at Angelica's apartment.

Alex had been happy with that when John told his boyfriends he wouldn't be home Saturday night and Lafayette said it would do John good to be around his friends. They were all chill.

But there was just one worry that flew over John's mind on a day to day basis.

Graduation.

He didn't know where to really go after he graduates. Sure, it was exciting and John was proud of himself for even making it to college. But there was only so far he could go with his degree, well, he felt like it was limited since it was art related. John had heard the horror stories about grads not finding work after they'd done art degrees.

One of his bitch aunts had even told John over the phone a few months ago that he was doing a mickey mouse degree. He cut her off and cursed her out after the call was cancelled. Still, it hurt. John was good at one he did and with his internship, he had a feeling he would find something.

As John turns on his back he's looking around the ceiling, to the kitchen and all over the rest of the penthouse. That was another worry, where he was going to live. John knew whatever job he got, his earnings would never, live up to the money Alex and Lafayette made. They were men who rode the tycoon train. The two of them hadn't just been lucky in love, finding each other but also they got lucky career wise. Lafayette was already lucky, he had money from birth, Alex was a whole different version of success though.

John just worried how he was going to earn his keep. Then the dark thoughts of his old self wormed into his mind, him just being nothing more than a sex toy to them both and that being the only reason they kept him here. John's eyes stung at that thought, he knew he couldn't think that way. He had to bury those nasty, negative feelings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They loved him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They fucking adored him and John loved them, so much, back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Still it couldn't be helped. They were on such a different level than him, age-wise and money-wise. They always would be too.

And John was just going to have to accept that, it was the reality of things.

John sniffled, he's wiping his nose and eyes with his hoody sleeve. Great, now he was crying. He tried batting his eyes and turning back to watch the TV. He had to ignore his thoughts but every time he did, his face crumpled and he ended up crying silently.

This went on for a good five minutes before he heard footsteps. He could hear Alex humming some song to himself and it came to a stop. John snorted up any snot up his nose, wiped his eyes and tried to act normal.

However it was too late, he'd been spotted. John frowned to himself, great.

He can hear padded footsteps walk up to him already.

"John?" Alex called, softly, sounding very concerned. "Hey, hey. Honey, what's wrong?"

John sighed as Alex approached him and Alex raised his brow at the attitude.

"God, I was only asking" Alex muttered.

Then John closes his eyes, heaving another sigh and he rubs at his face, ridding tears. "Alex, can you just, let me be miserable in peace, please?" He snapped out, groggily. John was still sniffling, as he did, he sat up and was trying to hide behind his hair and hood. He figured they were in for a chat.

Alex frowned and he's placing his mug down on the coffee table before sitting next to John.

John doesn't look but he can feel the sofa dip down next to him, Alex's body weight lowering him down. Then he can feel an arm wrap around him.

"Baby" Alex stressed.

Alex squeezed his side. "What's eating you up?"

John was just happy his curls were in his face, some strands stuck to his cheeks and how he could just hide. He hated Alex seeing him cry and Lafayette. He always felt so vulnerable at times with them. Weak and John hated it.

"Alex" John croaked, now his voice was sending out all the wrong messages. "I'm fine" He tried but it wasn't working.

Suddenly John felt his hood pulled down, he turns to Alex and he sees Alex's hands move away his hair. John's dropping his gaze, shamefully on his lap as Alex is fussing with tucking his hair behind his ears and any loose hair stuck to his damp face.

"Hey, look at me" Alex says, quietly.

"No" John muttered, rattily. "No, I'm fine -"

"Honey, look. It's just me, you can talk to me." Alex bent down his head and he's leaning over to John, trying to fill his view.

Eventually John gives up and he looks up at Alex. He knew he must look a state and he sees the worry on Alex's face. His stomach squeezed in knots at how he's the one responsible for making Alex look like that. John needed to toughen up, he knew that.

Hiccuping as he sniffled in, Alex softly says, "Deep breath, sh, sh."

He wipes at his eyes and Alex helps wipe away any dampness too.

"You gonna tell me what's up?"

John shrugged, he looks away once more. He feels all bummed up and his head ached.

"I just -" John sighed, he fumbled with the sleeves of his hoody. He drummed his leg, up and down, worried, unsure of how to really talk about his issue. "I'm okay" He told Alex.

Alex rolled his eyes.

"I am!" John had saw that, right in the corner of his eye. He gave Alex daggers.

"I come downstairs and see you crying on the sofa, you're not alright." Alex said, then he's moving a hand over to John's nape and tousling the loose curls there. Soothing his scalp lovingly. John relished his touch deep down. "Is it work?"

"Nah" John says.

"Anyone giving you shit?" Alex asked. "If they are, baby, I'll come down on them like a ton of bricks. You know this."

John couldn't stop himself from smiling, Alex did too. He always cared so much about him, it was so sweet. Of course, if that were the issue, John would go about it the right way. He knew what Alex's wrath was like. Although it was a joke if anything.

"No, no" John sang, sadly. "Not that"

Alex pulled a fed up face. He was doing his best here.

"Laf going too hard on you?"

John stiffened. He shook his head at that one, Alex didn't need to know. Well, for now.

"Nu-uh, not that. He's good to me. Everything is fine, Alex. Please, drop it." John sighs, wearily. "It's just... me. I'm the problem."

Alex pulls a look of confusion. "Whaddya mean?"

"Nothing" John said, his voice was so meek and small. It didn't sound like nothing. But he just wanted Alex to lay off.

Alex, obviously, didn't.

"It is not nothing" Alex said.

He puts his arms around John and pulls him into his chest. John cradles into him as he does, nuzzling into the patch of skin where Alex's work shirt opened at the top. "Honey, spill. This isn't like you. You've been so happy lately, honestly, me and Laf were saying this the other day. He said you looked so, fucking, over the moon. Happiest we've ever seen you." Alex says.

John's heart sank, anchoring deeper and deeper.

That was true, John was happy. Happy and in love.

"C'mon, sweetie. You can talk to me, I'm here. Jack. Whatever it is, I'll support you. Just, let me in. Okay?"

John nodded against him.

He had to try.

They'd spoken about this after all, John and his emotions, being more open and passive. He had to.

With another soft hefty heave out of his stuffy nose, he wipes his eyes again and leaned properly into Alex.

He slowly, said, "Just... I'm worried about graduation. Worried for the future, kinda scared."

Alex frowned.

"Why?" It sounded like Alex found it almost laughable. When John didn't give him an answer, Alex asked again. "Honey, why you scared?"

A shrug from John. "Dunno what I'll do if I don't find a job, unlike you and Laf who did things in business and law. I did art, a fucking art degree." John muttered, bitterly. Alex's brow furrowed more at this. "Shit - I just remembered. You paid for that. Fuck, Alex. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"No, honey. I understand, you're frustrated. I know you're grateful."

John looked up at him and he nods, "I am, I am. I'll always be grateful, Jesus fucking christ." He sighs. "I'm grateful for everything you and Laf have done for me, ever gave me. You know I love you both, right?"

Alex's face melted like butter. "Jack"

"Which is another thing, I'm worried about what happens when I graduate. Do I leave? Do I stay? God, Alex. I'll never make as much money as you both. Never." John was getting himself worked up again.

Alex moved to wipe away a tear or two, he's hushing John softly. "No, no. Alex it's true! I just - I get upset because I think back to the way I used to think, how I thought you and Laf could be using me for just sex. The whole sugaring shit, money -"

"Don't be stupid" Alex huffs. He's rocking John there in his arms. "Baby, no, _no_. Fuck, you're worrying for nothing."

John clutches Alex's shirt. "I can't help but worry!"

Now Alex is pulling back, he's got John by the arms and he's staring him dead in the eyes, scowling. John's sniffling as he did, still crying.

"You listen to me, now. You need to stop getting worked up over stupid shit. You're not going anywhere, damn. Baby, you hear me? Nowhere." Alex told him sternly. His voice could cut through steel. John nods in response.

"In terms of graduating, careers, stop freaking out. It's normal, baby. It's so natural to be worried about it." Alex says. "Me and Laf, we've been through it ourselves, I mean, a long fucking time ago now and maybe when the job market was a little better..."

"Alex" John muttered.

Alex then adds, "Point is, you'll be fine. I bet half your class is in the same state as you. You'll find a job, you're clever and your work is amazing. Fucking awesome it is and if the assholes who look through all the applications can't see that, they may as well be blind. The bastards."

John's lips twitched into a small smile at that. Trust Alex to make him laugh at a time like this, always in his lowest moments, this man could make his day shine even when it rained.

"As for you worrying about living with us, me and Laf, we've spoken about this, not too long ago actually." Alex says. "We're quite happy for you to stay here with us, you're our boyfriend, we're in this together. All of us. Jack, all of us. We're making this work, this far, aren't we?"

Another nod from John.

They were.

Alex sighs.

"We're _never_ going to get bored, tired or whatever of you. We care, we want you with us. Whether you still want to or not after you graduate, John. That's up to you, if you still want to stay here, get rid of that dorm and find an apartment. We'll work with that until you're ready to come live with us." Alex said.

John's heart throbbed, so they had been talking about him and their future. This only made him cry more.

Then Alex lets go of his arms and he's scratching the back of his head, eyes shifting from John. Something was up, Alex had that look about him.

"I shouldn't really tell you this, not yet. Fuck, Laf's gonna kill me." Alex mumbled.

"What?" John asks.

Alex then darted his eyes back to him. "Well, it isn't really fully decided on yet. But we've talked about it, together. Laf is sure you're in this for the long run, he's committed and so am I. We're thinking about selling this place and finding another in the future, with you."

John's eyes were almost falling out of his head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh god.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This was something else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"We're not getting any younger, honey. Eventually, Laf and me, we're gonna, maybe, want kids." Alex tells him, skittishly. John's eyes were dazzling, his heart was soaring. This sounded so wonderful. He wanted that too. "So, we want a new place. New start and we want you, with us. Even if we never have kids, we're still a family. You'll never be alone, John. We'll always be a family. Got that?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They were a family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John just burst out into a smile and he's lunging forward at Alex. Kissing him like no tomorrow.

"Yes!" John sniffled, he's crying again. Alex is holding him back. "I want that! I want that too!"

"Baby, ow! You're crushing my arm, Jesus!"

John didn't care if he was, he wanted to love Alex, right there and then. He was so, so glad.

And it was ironic because Lafayette was in through the door from the gym as this happened. Both of them turning their heads on the sofa and Lafayette sends them a questioning look. Well, little did he know. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John felt better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He had returned back to his happy self, grateful and proud to have these two wonderful men in his life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His family.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> French translations:
> 
> *Peut-être que je devrais te baiser maintenant. Va te faire foutre, jusqu'à ce que tu t'évanouisses, je vais mettre ma main sur ta bouche pour que personne ne puisse t'entendre crier." = Maybe I should fuck you now. Fuck yourself, until you faint, I'll put my hand on your mouth so that no one can hear you scream. "
> 
> *"Avoir un lapin dans la gorge" = "Have a rabbit in the throat" (Its a french saying like 'you have a frog in your throat' lol)
> 
> * Petit chiot = Little pup
> 
> HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!
> 
> I hope you all had a good Easter! I sure did, it was nice being off from work for four days. In the UK you have good friday off, the weekend and Monday is a holiday, so we're off work too. Yay! 
> 
> Also the weather has been absolutely amazing here, so hot and nice. Not the horrible cold, grey, shit we're usually putting up with on the daily. So it's been good and I've been doing my dandiest to get lots of writing done. 
> 
>  
> 
> Finally a cute chapter! Laf is like a french Mrs Hinch (go look her up - she's a cleaning goddess!)
> 
> See, not so bad was it? They're gonna be a family - No! This story isn't finished, not just yet. Still gotta write a few more things in before it is. 
> 
> Hope you've all enjoyed it!
> 
> Thank you so much for the kudos, comments, love and support! It means so much to me and please leave a comment below! Always love to see what you guys think!
> 
> <3
> 
>  
> 
> PP 
> 
>  
> 
> XO


	24. SURPRISES

John and Lafayette came in stumbling from the bedroom.

A cloud of steam emerged as they're heading out, both still damp from their hot shower together and while Alex stayed behind to do whatever it was he was doing. John kept whining he was hungry, Lafayette couldn't bare listening anymore to John's pleas for food.

"I want cereal, hungry, need food, now" John rambled, childishly. "Papa"

"Yes, yes I heard you."

John nuzzled into Lafayette's broad back just between the crook of his shoulder blades. "Food" John muttered. "Hungry"

Lafayette sighs. "Yes, yes"

"Now"

"Little one"

John adjusted his arms latched around Lafayette's lithe waist as they were darting around the kitchen. John clinging cutely to Lafayette while he's walking around. John following behind, face resting into Lafayette's back or just above his shoulder to see whatever he was doing.

Lafayette flicking the kettle on, roaring it into life.

"Daddy wants wine" John tells him.

Then Lafayette flicks the kettle back off.

He goes over to the bread bin, opening it and takes out a cinnamon bagel from its packet on the worktop and casually tossing it in the toaster for Alex. Even though it was late, both John and Alex had stormed up an appetite.

Especially, after what they'd all just been doing.

Nothing like a good round of rough sex, after a rough week.

John felt better now, Alex was satisfied, Lafayette was seemingly pleased.

"What're you gonna eat?" John asked.

Lafayette's lips quirked into a small smile. Although John didn't see, Lafayette appeared grateful for his concern. John's arms buckled that bit tighter around him.

"Love, unlike you and Alexander, I will not eat at a late hour. You know this." Lafayette tells him.

John perched up his chin up on Lafayette's shoulder, he's pouting and frowning. Lafayette always did this.

Whenever it was past nine or some stupid hour and they were up late, like tonight. Alex and John usually congregated in the kitchen. Alex didn't care about calories, how you shouldn't eat past eight at night or anything like that. John was the same, a smaller eater and a lot picker, but he didn't mind eating really late.

Lafayette though, never.

It was a sin in his eyes.

He believed in eating till his hearts content at a certain hour, maybe Christmas or New Year he would let himself go a bit. But on a regular evening, even if it was weekend, it was a nope. Since weight gain was a complete nope for him and having a sore stomach could keep him up late when he had to be up early. Lafayette just preferred to keep himself healthy, his body in a correct and fit state.

Alex and John had no idea how he had the will power to even say 'no' to a gorgeous slice of pizza or a glazed chocolate doughnut at night. The temptation was surreal on their part. Lafayette's self discipline was beyond incredible.

"But I could try and change your mind?" John murmured, sweetly and he's whispering it into Lafayette's ear. Nipping his lobe cheekily and Lafayette makes a lengthy groan at his. John clearly frustrating him after such a delightful, long, session.

He could tell Lafayette was wore out.

"Oh, ho! Darling. I am quite certain, I have had my share for this evening." Lafayette says back, swiftly.

John rolled his eyes, the sass.

He gives John's hands around his stomach a little pat in return. John's squeezing him, Lafayette's stomach was rock solid. His abs lay just underneath his hands, beautiful they were and felt amazing.

The discipline was worth it, John thought.

Still it would be nice to see his boyfriend let himself go for at least once. But that was just how Lafayette was and if he was happy, then, John was happy. It was just one of those things.

Lafayette's trudging over to the hanging glass rack and grabbing one. John's rolling his eyes again at this.

"Yet you'll have a glass of wine? Containing a shit ton of calories? Laf" John snorted.

He can feel Lafayette's hand swat him on top of his hand. "Hush"

"It's true though, you know I'm right." John added, curtly.

Lafayette repeated another 'Hush' but louder this time.

John couldn't help but giggle anyway. He's looking up, cocking his head and seeing Lafayette form a faint smile upon his lips.

But just them wandering around the kitchen doing things. Silly things.

Lafayette putting some of the pots away on the draining rack by the sink, him wiping the sides for the umpteenth time. Watering the little plant in the corner by the recipe books on their little shelf above the spice rack.

The very same plant Alex brought home from work, someone was leaving and they gave it Alex instead, since in their new profession, they weren't going to have a desk.

So Alex took it home.

Yet Alex had totally forgotten, well, more like, neglected the poor thing. Lafayette lectured him, telling Alex this is why he bought the fake ones from IKEA, simply because of this reason. Lafayette ended up mothering the wilting poor soul anyway.

John cheekily joining in and subconsciously telling Alex that 'orphans should know better'. That was the last time John ever made a joke about that, he hadn't meant it. But it hadn't gone down well, at all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Never again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Either way, everything was fine now.

This was nice though.

Them both just loitering around, well, it was Lafayette who was doing the loitering. John was still behind him, glued to his back, snuggling in, taking in Lafayette's scent and toasty heat. The man was a walking furnace.

But this was something John liked.

Spending time together, being looked after, doted on like this. Not all the time but whenever he felt low, tired, sleepy, it was nice. Just being cared for and being loved. After care was something new they were currently exploring, they hadn't really gave it a name. It was mostly John just being lazy and asking for either one of them, usually Lafayette, to fawn over him.

It loosely linked in to their dynamic at first but now it was becoming more of a thing.

Alex even bought John a cute onesie specifically for these sessions. Not to look like an overgrown baby but just for the comfort. Well, Lafayette and Alex both thought John looked adorable in it. All little, fluffy and cute. John didn't mind wearing it either. Since the summer evenings could be a bit nippy.

"Can I have cereal?" John asked him, sweetly but cheekiness still lingered in his tone.

Lafayette nods.

As Lafayette was then grabbing the milk of the refrigerator, John went back to nuzzling into him, still completely in a deep post-sex haze and smiling ridiculous into his boyfriend's skin.

"What cereal would you like?" Lafayette asks him.

Then John remembered didn't have too much of a variety at the moment. Lafayette's opening the cupboard door where they kept the cereals in the plastic fancy containers.

Those were new, Lafayette and John came home with them one day from shopping. Alex had been working from home that day at the table, saw them as Lafayette took them out his fair-trade bags and squinted at the containers. Actually squinted before asking why, what and just why on earth they needed them.

John explained that they weren't allowed cereal boxes lingering around anymore because they looked 'untidy' according to Lafayette. After a walk around the homeware section together in Macys, Lafayette's aesthetic took a whole new turn, when he saw the little fake kitchen set ups they had in there. That had been it, five of these containers went in the shopping cart and John was made to push.

Since then, nothing surprised John about Lafayette's crazy cleanly, neat and prim habits anymore. He went along with it and didn't argue. He was shocked that Alex still did despite being married to the man for years on end.

As John hobbled after him, still attached to his waist and he's pressing a sweet kiss on Lafayette's curly nape. "Do we have any Reese's Puffs left?"

Lafayette raised a brow at him, he turns his head to look down at John lingering behind him. It was cute really, seeing John clingy and sweet.

"Cherie, John, it is almost twelve at night" Lafayette tells him, curtly. "All that sugar is not good, you will not sleep."

But John shakes his head. "Nuh-uh, Papa, I will. I've done this before, when I was living by myself. I always ate late."

"Naughty" Lafayette muttered, shaking his head and he turns back around to grab the Reese's puffs. John was grinning from ear to ear, he loved getting his own way.

"Nah, I'm just hungry -" John muffled into him, he breathes Lafayette in. John could still smell his cologne from earlier. Fresh linen, citrus and musk. "Your cum doesn't fill me up enough"

Lafayette gasps, he's looking back around at John with the most shocked face. John laughs at it though. "That is so dirty!" Lafayette scolds. John bites his bottom lip as he grinned. "Good god, how crude!"

"Daddy rubs off on me" John said shrugging, snickering as he did. John knew that sounded filthier than it should be.

Lafayette shook his head, he caught on to that and quickly too.

"Cherie" He muttered, disapprovingly and frowning at John.

Deep down John knows Lafayette is impressed, he loved it.

"There isn't enough for a full bowl" Lafayette tells him.

John makes a low grumble, hums and then sighs. "Just mix them with some of the cheerios then" He said. John pouts to himself, he really wanted a big bowl of the Reese's Puffs too. He had been craving them all night. "- I'll pick up some more cereal when I stop by Whole Foods tomorrow"

Lafayette turns his head at him, pulling a disgusted face. "That is fine. But what on earth... you want to eat them together?"

John sticks his tongue out at him and then adds, "Still tastes dope"

Shaking his head, Lafayette says nothing and he's grabbing bowl the containers. Pouring the rest of the Reese's into a bowl and combining Cheerios on top. John's nudging his forehead on Lafayette's nape and whined "More! I want more Cheerios"

"That's greedy" Lafayette injected as he laughed softly.

John shrugs. "Laf, after what you've just done to me in bed, I need to refuel every inch of my body. Fuck."

Lafayette wholeheartedly laughed at him. He's popping off the milk top and chugging it onto the cereal. "You did demand I go rougher with you than usual. Do not complain."

John whined cutely and he's bumping his head repeatedly against Lafayette's back. "I didn't think it would take the life out of me!"

"Ah, see, Cherie. There is a saying, we have there in France, when you ask for something -" Lafayette casually droned. _"Faites attention à dos souhaits"_

John arched a brow at this. "Pay attention... to... uh? Dreams? What?" He cringed at his choice in wording. John knew that probably wasn't how it went. He understood some of what Lafayette told him though. His French really needed working on, he knew that.

But it had Lafayette chuckling away though. "Ah, Cherie. You, really, do make my evening."

"Hey! I tried!" John cried.

Lafayette is giving the cereal a quick churn around with a spoon for John. "Indeed" Lafayette says. "Although I could tell you, I shall just have to let you learn from it instead."

"Mean" John mumbled into him. He felt his stomach growl too.

John's jilting as Lafayette's laughing.

"Anyway, here, cereal is served. Now, go eat while I grab myself a glass of wine. Goodness, you claim I wear you out, it is you, little one who wears me out!" Lafayette tells John as he's turning around. John's met with Lafayette face to face now.

John's looking up to him with a little pout. Lafayette quickly takes John's small chin and he leans to press a sweet, loving, kiss just there on the center of John's temples. "Bon appétit, no? Ha!"

And Lafayette is walking away, still giggling to himself as if he had some kind of goofy, inside joke. John shakes his head as he's grabbing his bowl and Lafayette is happily, bounding over to the fridge for his wine. John's shovelling up a quick mouthful of cereal and crunching away like a starving dog.

He's literally guzzling spoonfuls of his cereal, greedily and goes to watch what his Papa was doing. Lafayette was stood back looking for which wine to drink. He eventually picks one, some strange wine from some European country no doubt.

John screwed up his face when he saw the little pink floaty petals that danced around the bottle of it.

The choice of wine was endless in this house. Anyone would think both Lafayette and Alex had stollen from a vineyard.

Wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve, John's toddling over to Lafayette there, skating up to him a playful manner there in his socks against the smooth tiled floor. He's waiting for Lafayette to get his glass so they could settle down for the evening and watch a movie together.

Alex was still in the bathroom, doing whatever he was doing. John assumed he was shaving and plucking greys. Alex said he never got any, until that time when John walked in on him in the ensuite, saw Alex digging out a few grey hairs. He didn't get tons just some mostly just around his ears or scruff.

John then cruelly snickering when he saw and Alex bared him evils in the mirror, sharply telling John, 'This will be you in another ten years, shut it'. It had been hilarious. Lafayette never seemed to age.

"You done?" John asks between another mouthful of cereal.

"Mhm" Lafayette hummed.

John swallowed and he's reaching a hand to needly tug at the band of his boyfriend's sweatpants. "Papa, c'mon, now"

Lafayette is just loading his glass there with his chosen wine. Nodding, he says, "Yes, yes, one moment" John tugs at him again just to push it. Lafayette drifts his eyes to John, warning him, it's all play though. "I fed you and I have fucked you, you have had your tending to, now be patient."

John's biting back a smile. He pulls Lafayette's sweatpants one last time, the elastic off the band made such a 'ping' that it had Lafayette grimacing. "My darling, enough."

Lafayette was using that tone, his stern, deep, tone. It sent chills right through John's body, his heart always raced whenever Lafayette got serious with him. He loved it.

"Papa" John whimpered. "I want to watch a movie, now, now, come on!"

John's pretending to look grumpy, his eyes all big and cute. Damp loose blooming curls still clung to his flushed freckled cheeks from his shower.

In the end Lafayette sighed, he tilts his head back and muttered something in French.

John smirked, he gave Lafayette a nudge and giggled, "I'm gonna google that"

"Do so" Lafayette snickered. "And do not be offended when you find out"

Hearing this made John's gut wrench. He decided inwardly he wasn't going to bother then.

Alex's bagel popped out during the small stretch of silence they had. Cinnamon goodness went all around. 

With another mouthful of cereal, John's watching Lafayette take a long sip of his drink, before picking up another bottle there inside the fridge. Then he's holding up another looking indecisive as ever.

John huddles over by Lafayette's side and looks inside with him.

"Alex wants red" John tells him between slurping up his cheerio milk, then he's pointing at one particular bottle. "He's been liking that new one, the one Washington got him for his birthday, there next to the dry white -"

"Ah, the Masi Campofiorin, yes?"

Nodding and swallowing after another gluttonous mouthful. John goes, "Yeah"

"Lovely" Lafayette says, tiredly and he's slipping it from its shelf. "Please, can you pass me a glass?"

John looked back at Lafayette with his brow raised, he's giving his boyfriend such a look.

He finishes off chewing and snorts out, "Just bring the bottle" then walks out of the kitchen.

Lafayette stood there for a moment with the bottle of red in his hand and his glass there in his other.

He looked between the two, considered John's words and shrugged to himself, before he hurried on out the kitchen himself. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

When they're sat down together on the sofa all cuddled and huddled up.

Lafayette's got an arm around John while he munched away happily on his cereal. It didn't take long for John to demolish the entire bowl before the TV had loaded up. Lafayette shook his head when John was putting his bowl there on the coffee table, out of sight, out of mind. Then John's moving to lean against him, happily smiling now that he was full.

Once the screen was loading up, Lafayette was asking John what movie he wanted on and John chose a Disney movie, Mulan to be precise. Not that Lafayette really minded, John asked if he did but it was all good.

Alex's wine was there waiting for him. While Lafayette's playing around with the remote to get up the movie listings, John's nudging Lafayette on the arm for a quick sweet, sugary, kiss.

It was moments like that John really treasured. The small little intimate things he shared with Lafayette and Alex. Together or individually, they made him so happy. Happier than he had ever been in his life.

John moved so he could snuggle down there in his onesie, stretch his legs out and he's nuzzling, squirming into Lafayette, while lay there on his side. Lafayette didn't see the gorgeous, brimming smile John was sporting there to himself secretly. John flickered his eyes up at Lafayette, watching him, admiring this stunning man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of his loves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was so lucky.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And John's grin wide that bit wider.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Lafayette" John called softly.

Lafayette looked back down at him there, latched to his side. Their eyes endearing one anothers.

"I love you" John said to him, quietly, sweetly.

Lafayette's face went to mush and he's pulling John closer. "Mon Amour and I love you too"

John slowly leant up for yet another kiss and held a hand on Lafayette's cheek, delicately on his scruff to keep him in place. Lafayette curled a hand around John's slender waist, rubbing it up and down. As they part, they just smile at each other and give a small laugh.

"I like this" John says, quietly.

Lafayette quirked a brow.

"Like this?"

A nod from John. "Yeah, just being, um, just this"

And so, Lafayette leans back there in his seat and he's looking at John through hooded-lids. As if he's thinking about something, he's got his mind set on it, whatever it is. John's eyeing him curiously.

"This?"

John smiled softly at him. "Yeah, you doing this with me"

Lafayette pursed his lips for a moment.

"As in after sex? You want to be looked after?" Lafayette asked him.

John nodded quickly, unbothered how keen he came across. He wanted it.

"Mm, yeah. I like being, uh, looked after. But I want to..." John trailed off and he felt his face heat up. Perhaps he shouldn't bring up what he really wanted on to the table just yet. There was something else John wanted to try. He wasn't too sure yet.

Lafayette frowned. "What, love? What is it?"

Yeah, John wasn't sure this was the right time to ask. They weren't in the heat of the moment and it was embarrassing to just ask for that. 

But John waved him off and shook his head, shyly looking down.

"No, no, tell me. You can tell me." Lafayette said to him and he's taking John by his cheek, urging him to look up.

John slowly does and he looked sheepish.

"John?"

Then John twists his mouth, he looks down again and his shoulders wilt. "It's something, uh, bedroom-related and I absolutely trust you both -"

Immediately Lafayette's eyes went hard. "Is it dangerous?"

John bit his lip and he adds, "It can be, it's just I've wanted to try it for a while. I just -" He stops again, sighing. Lafayette was still watching him carefully. Waiting. "It's a little shameful"

"Shameful? How so?" Lafayette asks, his voice lowering. Then Lafayette's roaming a hand through John's stunning loose curls. Ruffling them, his fingers dancing around on his scalp. It's enough to lull John to sleep, there and then, against him.

After John doesn't crack a word out. Lafayette asks, "Is it dirty? Oh, little one. Please do not say it is going to be something smelly, extremely messy or -"

John shakes his head, giggling. He's mooching closer to Lafayette with a naughty smirk, eyeing him up and down in a seductive manner. Lafayette stared back at him in suspense, clearly interested and his breathing picked up. He was getting aroused.

"No, no. It's nothing gross. Even if I wanted to, I know you'd have a nervous breakdown -" John chuckled.

Lafayette gives him a swat on the thigh for that.

Laughing, John says, "It's just I wanna try -"

And before John could even tell Lafayette his idea, Alex came bounding into the living room, screeching out a 'Fuck that feels better!' loudly.

Capturing both of their attention.

Alex there with his loose locks all tousled at his shoulders, glistening still from his shower. John had been right, he'd shaved, because his face looked that bit neater. John could always tell. No doubt Alex had gave himself a good pampering too. God knows what else he'd been up to.

"Ah" Lafayette clicked his fingers and then pointed to the bottle on the coffee table. Alex shot his eyes to his husband in question. "Your bagel is in the toaster still and I have placed your wine there, Mon Cher. Help yourself."

John watched the pair of them.

"Yeah, the whole bottle, I did notice. Cheeky bastards." Alex told them. He's got his eyes fixated on John mostly, watching his shoulders jitter while he silently laughed to himself. Lafayette bit his lip and he's looking back over to the TV.

"Oh, be quiet. Alexander, come. Join us." Lafayette said, changing the subject. He's holding back a smile and flicking down the list of movies. "Where is it..."

Sighing, Alex continues to dry off his hair. "What movie we watching boys?"

Lafayette turns back to his husband there stood behind them, he scowled when he saw what Alex was doing. "Mon Cher, I have told you. Use a t-shirt to dry your hair, towels will only worsen the frizz and it is not delicate on the hair."

Alex rolled his eyes, snorting at his husband. "And little John has already decided"

Then Alex walks over closer to them. "Oh, yeah? Put something good on"

"What's 'good' exactly?" All while snorting, John asks.

Alex gave his head a little shake, his dark locks flickering all over, before he's raking his fingers through to push it all back.

"Avengers? I want to see the new Avengers movie, not the one out at the movies, but the other one on Hulu. I've not seen it yet. Hey Laf -" Alex was then cut off by John.

"Nah, we're gonna go for a Disney movie."

Alex's face dropped. He looked like he'd just been slapped. Both Lafayette and John batted their eyes at him like it was no big deal.

"You're fucking shitting me"

"Nope" John giggled. Lafayette looked guilty. "We've already decided"

"No!" Alex whined. "Oh god, are you for real? For fuck sake, baby. It's friday night!" Then he flickered his eyes to his husband. "Babe, tell him!"

"No" Lafayette replied. "It has already been decided. Now, Alexander, my darling, hush and come join us. Sit."

Alex pulled a face, he tossed down the towel on the back of the sofa with a huff. "Why do we have to watch a fucking Disney movie at 11.45 on a friday night? Tell me, why!"

Then Lafayette holds it a finger to Alex and wafted as if he were lecturing his husband. "Because, it is part of John's after care, due to such a rough session, we allow him to be pampered and cherished." Lafayette informed him. Alex couldn't have rolled his eyes any harder and John was grinning from ear to ear like it was his birthday.

"I can't stand Disney movies!" Alex groaned.

"Well -" John sang. "That's too bad" He even pats the seat next to him, eyeing Alex as he did.

Alex gave John the sharpest of looks. John didn't even flinch.

"For fuck sake" Alex sighed, then wearily added. "We're not ten!"

John frowned at him, clearly offended, how dare Alex say that. Lafayette just fusses around with the remote and he's getting Hulu up. "Daddy, shut up and sit down"

"Brat"

Lafayette didn't object, he loved Disney as much as John.

Alex looked defeated and then he's watching to see what Lafayette was getting up. John sat huddled up next to him in his new blue onesie with glittery green stars on it and Lafayette's big grey plush throw around him.

Once Alex sees Mulan pop up on the main screen and he mutters 'You're a pair of children'. He's about to walk off until John captures Alex by the wrist and he's tugging, gesturing for him to sit down.

"Daddy" John looks up at Alex, he's pretty much pouting and giving Alex the eyes trick. "I want you to watch it with me"

"Why? You've got Laf here" Alex yawns, he's looking towards his husband.

Lafayette reaches forward for his glass of wine over on the coffee table, he's taking it and pressing play on the screen. "Alexander, sit down or do not watch. You're creating a ruckus -"

Alex scoffed. "A 'ruckus' he says"

But Lafayette speaks over him. "Although little John and I would appreciate it if you did. It is his session of care, you should participate, it is only right." Lafayette arches a brow at Alex.

Alex inhales sharply. "Babe"

"Daddy!" John whined, cutely and it must've tugged at Alex's heartstrings. Whenever John did that voice, it always got John what he wanted from him. Alex could never say no. "Please, please, please. I want you to watch it!"

"I've seen it" Alex told him, he's scratching the damp hairs of his nape.

Lafayette gave Alex a look.

Alex looked elsewhere. Anywhere but at them.

John is staring at Alex, tilts his head like a confused puppy and Alex's expression went vacant. His big brown eyes shifty. John narrows his eyes slowly, the corners of Alex's mouth struggle to not turn upwards and he's looking away from John. John is sizing him up.

"What happens in it?" John questioned him.

Lafayette smirks at his husband when their eyes finally meet.

Alex looked so uncomfortable. He's furrowing his brow at them both, scratching at his scruff and waving them off, "Oh, you already know. We've seen it -"

"When?" John pushed.

Lafayette grinned as he also asks, "Yes, Alexander, Mon Cher. When?"

"What is this, Jeopardy?" Alex sighed, sounding annoyed. "We watched it, ages ago."

John shook his head, he's sitting up properly and turned to face Alex there at the back of him.

"So, what is it about?"

Alex ends up snorting out laughing. They'd caught him out and Alex knew that. Oh, they so knew. He was such a liar.

"Baby boy, okay, uh, look it's late. You just watch the movie with Laf and I'll be in my office"

John cuts his eyes at him again. He wasn't getting out of this that easily.

"You've not watched it" Lafayette stated. "Alexander, take a break. Watch a movie, relax."

"I have!" Alex lied, laughing.

"Then what is it about?" John pressed on. "Tell us!"

"It's about where she -" Alex paused, looking to the TV for a hint and Lafayette immediately pressed pause. Stopping Alex from any further guessing. Alex shot his husband a withering look and Lafayette cheekily winked.

John was there, scowling.

"She's fighting a bear or some shit, has an arrow and -" John put his hand up, stopping Alex.

Alex tilts his head back and throws his hands over his face, whining but laughing out a 'Oh, my, fucking, god John!'

"Hold it, first off, that's Brave, Merida she does archery -"

Alex's squinting at him, completely baffled and he's muttering out "Who the fuck is Merdia?"

But John continues "And second, when the fuck was there ever a bear in Mulan!" John cried, looking around cluelessly as he did. Lafayette laughed at his expression. Alex shook his head at such a scene. 

John grabs the remote off Lafayette, he's pressing back up so that the movie goes to the main screen showing the cover. There Mulan was with the sword down her face, posing and all the other characters in the background. Featuring Mushu, the horse, Mulan's idiot trio of friends, the huns, Mulan with the sword, the guy she liked.

"Tell me where you see a bear!" John shouts, pointing at the screen, dramatically. He knew he was overreacting but Alex had to be told. Educated even.

Alex's eyes went like saucers.

"John, I swear. Baby, you're off your rocker" Alex told him, bluntly. Then added, "I'm gonna get all of this shit blacklisted, I'm telling ya."

John looked murderous. That wasn't happening.

Lafayette wholeheartedly laughed aloud beside him. Alex just stands there loitering around behind them, trying to laugh and groan all but at the same time. This was madness. But Lafayette and John took Disney so seriously.

"He is right, Mon Cher. You saw Brave with me, a long time ago." Lafayette added, he's toying with the remote in his hands, twirling it. "I must remind you, Alexander, you actually did enjoy it."

"Oh god!" Alex boomed. "Does it even matter?!"

"Yes!" John and Lafayette roared.

Alex shakes his head, laughing.

"It doesn't! All these films are all the fucking same! They've all got some edgy bitch who has baggage, they go on an adventure to find themselves, there's the awful singing, they've always got some evil bastard after them or weird pet who saves them! Then there is a prince, I mean aren't princes outdated these days?!" Alex exploded.

Lafayette cheekily interjected, "I think not" 

It had John wheezing. He got it.

Both of them only wound Alex up even more. "Y'know what - Oh, for the love of god!" Alex exploded. "These movies are all the same! I'm telling you both!"

"No they're not!" John shouted back, then he's snapping his head to Lafayette, frowning. "Papa, tell him! Daddy's being an asshole!"

Because no one disrespected Disney in this house. No one. John wasn't having it.

"That's not true! They're stories, sure they're not real, but people look up to them! They can help!" John hurled back. Lafayette sat beside him nodding as he took another sip of his wine. "Some of us actually want a bit of magic in our lives, Alex!"

Alex looked at John in disbelief. "Jesus Christ, John."

"You see, Cherie. Alexander, he's more into -"

"He-man and Thundercats" Alex spilled out, sounding somewhat proud as he did. "Skeletor was hella though"

He goes and leans against the back of the sofa, staring down at John with a teasing smile. John pouts.

Then Alex's eyes brighten up, as if he suddenly remembers more. He clicks his fingers and points at his husband. "Oh! Shit, don't forget Robotech and Ghostbusters!"

Lafayette grinned and claps his hands together. "Yes! Yes! Robotech! I remember that one!"

John rolled his eyes at the pair of them. While they were exchanging nostalgic cartoons from their early childhood, John couldn't help but feel a slight ache in his chest. He forgets sometimes that they weren't always going to be on level. But he tried not letting the age gap bother him though.

"Disney is still better" John mumbled.

Lafayette turns his attention to John and laughs. Alex waved John off, clearly not wanting to argue anymore.

With that John just pouts and he leans into Lafayette's chest. Huffing, he knew he was being overdramatic and it was all a joke on Alex's part. Lafayette eyed up Alex and he's playing with the curls on top of John's head, biting laughter back himself and Alex is shrugging at his husband.

"Calm down" Lafayette softly says to John. "Sh, sh. Darling it is okay"

John huffed aloud, he glares at Alex in the corner of his eye and Alex is left rolling his eyes.

Ridiculous.

"You two need to read more" Alex muttered to them.

Lafayette sighs, he shifts slightly, so he leans back more to get comfier and John huddled up on top of him. Lay against Lafayette's chest and cradled between his long legs.

John continued to glare menacingly at Alex, before saying, "Papa, can we take a trip to Disney world and drag Daddy along with us?"

Alex's face went into a picture of sheer horror.

Immediately Lafayette brightened at the idea.

"Oh yes! We can get him pretty pink Minnie Mouse ears. Alexander will look beautiful." Lafayette cackled. "Won't you, Mon Cher?"

Both John and Lafayette shot Alex a devious look.

Alex did not like it one bit. The pair of them were savages when they got together.

"Dearest husband" Alex shot with a false smile. "I think not"

Lafayette winked at him and Alex scoffed in return. The nerve.

"Why not?" John pressed. Alex tilts his head, giving John a look. "It's the happiest place on earth!" 

Alex cackled and spat out, "More like hell on earth! No, John!"

Then John rounds on Lafayette, looking up at him all pretty, bug-eyed for a moment. "Mm, so, Laf, do you mean the pink millennial ones?" John asks. "My girl, Pegz, she's got a pair, well infact she's got like eight fucking pairs of Minnie ears"

Alex snarls at John.

"Eliza has the purple limited edition ones -" John added subconsciously. "Or was it the blue..."

Lafayette's eyes sprang open, he clicks his fingers, grinning. "Yes! Those ones! I have seen the millennial pink before!"

Alex stood there, fazed, watching them both with a look of concern, but, yet, utter shock that they were discussing Minnie Mouse ears at this hour.

"Laf, babe. When the fuck have you ever found the time to be looking at Mickey ears?" Alex asked, dumbfounded. "When? Tell me, when?"

Lafayette flashed Alex a smile rather than answer.

"They're 'Minnie' ears, actually, Daddy get it right." John threw in, just to be extra.

Alex sighed, he gave up.

With that John is sitting up. "We can order some online now actually, they do rose gold too, hot pink, purple, black -" John trailed on, he's grabbing his phone out his onesie.

Alex is watching them both, one of his eyes twitched.

"You're both bastards"

"And we love you too Alex" John snickered, Lafayette sniggered at his comeback.

Enough was enough it seemed, Alex was walking off from them both until Lafayette called Alex back. But Alex was already rushing away. He's grabbed his towel and charged off.

"Oh, Daddy, don't be like that!" John whined.

"Alexander" Lafayette called. "Here, now"

"No" Alex shot back. "I'm not sitting through another Disney movie with you two squadding up against me!"

John pouts at Lafayette.

"Mon Cher, come back. Just sit down and watch the movie with us." Lafayette sighs. "Stop being a drama queen"

Then John shouts out, "After Mulan we can watch the Avengers! I've not seen that one either, come on, Alex. Stop being a mood."

With a mixture of a grunt and groan Alex goes into the kitchen for his bagel. In the end Alex did join them and he sat quite happily, silently, with John there in the middle of them. Scoffing his bagel and knocking back his bottle of red.

However it was John who fell asleep first. lay between them both snoozing away softly. Both Lafayette and Alex looked down at him, adoration there in their eyes, they shared glances between each other and warmly, they smiled.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

As John's graduation neared closer it soon came to Alex and Lafayette's wedding anniversary.

And just a few days before their anniversary, John, Alex and Lafayette were up in the spare room, clearing it for space.

Lafayette decided that it was time they got around to it, because it had been ages since he remembered it being tidy and clutter free. So they all got to work despite John didn't really have to dig in, Alex and Lafayette told John it wasn't his mess so he didn't need to help. But John hadn't minded at all, he liked getting involved and helping around the penthouse.

It was technically his home too, now, apparently. Many hands make light work.

As they were shifting things into boxes, pushing things out the way to pick things up, packing things away. Between it all, a photo album fell from one of the boxes piled there on the spare bed.

It immediately caught John's attention and while the other two were talking about where they were going to put Lafayette's old cross trainer. John's bending to pick it up, curiosity waved over him and he's opening it.

Instantly John's lips blossomed into a big, big smile.

It was an old album from probably when Alex and Lafayette were around his age, maybe younger. Definitely late teens.

John looked over his shoulder to see what his boyfriends were doing. Lafayette was discussing with Alex how he wanted the room painted, new flooring installed and for the mini football table, upside down, on its legs, to be up for sale. Alex shrugged and said it was easier to just give it away.

John left them to it.

He's gone back to diving into the album, grinning away like an idiot as he did. Flicking each page carefully. God, the photographs were old. Taken with one of those dodgy disposable cameras.

In one of the pictures Alex is stood there laughing, talking to someone, cigarette in his fingers with many thick silver rings. He looked so much younger than he did now and Alex looked fairly good for his age. But younger Alex looked so little, his big brown eyes looked even bigger than they were now.

John had to admit, Alex looked like a total cutie. Baby face and everything.

Alex had been a lot scrawnier, too skinny. He looked weird being that thin.

Dressed in some long black Nirvana t-shirt, tags around his neck, piercings all over his ear and his hair was so much longer. It looked like it was right past his shoulders. John noticed Alex hadn't even spurted facial hair yet. God.

John's smirking, he looked hot though, a total grunge god. Even at Alex's age now or back then, he would've. Oh, yes.

Lafayette was in some of the other pictures with him. John assumed this must be Alex's album since there was more pictures of him with other people. But Lafayette did pop up a lot too.

John's biting his lip at the sight of a younger Lafayette.

Lafayette appearing much lankier, less toned, his adams apple very prominent out of his throat. Lafayette was very pretty for a young man, so handsome. His curly hair a little bit shorter since he wore it down. Lafayette's scruff was there but it wasn't as tidy, he looked less well put together than he did now. Much more laid back, there in his flannel shirt, black top underneath and red hi-tops.

It was weird to see Lafayette looking more like a free bird than such a uptight, groomed, well kept, business man. Not that John would ever trade him or his younger self for the absolute world. John found him gorgeous either way.

They were amusing to look at though. This was the first proper glimpse John had seen of them from their teens. Of course, John had seen earlier pictures of them during the rise of their riches, mostly in the late twenties. But never from their college days.

Some of the pictures were hilarious too. John held back a barking laugh seeing what appeared to be Alex and Lafayette, some other guy, high as kites. Smoke all around and the other photograph was just a cloud of smoke. John slid out the photograph and it read 'OCT 15 98' on it. He shook his head and slipped it back into place. So, this is what they both got up to.

It was expected, really, though.

There were others from mostly at parties, Alex doing stupid shit, Alex only ever wearing black, Alex doing something outrageous, Alex with his jeans down showing his bare ass with around four other guys, all of the lined up in the dark, at a campfire near the lake. Someone had drawn a face on one guy's ass and Alex had 'Insert cock here' just across his back dimples, an arrow pointing down his ass crack.

John giggled at that.

There was even one where Alex was grinning devilishly infront of the camera with what appeared to be a fake ID. The birthdate was entirely wrong since it dated back into the late seventies and not the early eighties. John bit his tongue. Alex never failed to make him laugh.

John had no idea Lafayette used to be into basketball either. There were a good few of him playing some b-ball with other guys. Alex in the background lingering with some of the same faces throughout the album. John even came across one of Burr too, Burr didn't look any different. He still looked the same.

Mid-way through the album John's cheeks set alight when he's coming across some rather intimate, seedy pictures. John stiffened and he almost throws the album across the room.

It had to be Alex to snap what looked like some of the best sex of their lives. John sees both of them in pictures kissing, flushed bodies, two thin thighs straggling Lafayette's chest and Lafayette's face splattered with cum. Some in his closed eye and mangled curly locks spread out there on the pillow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Their own personal little porn shoot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Jesus christ" John murmured to himself. He's looking at them all, well, he tries not to. But it's super tempting.

It wasn't like he got to see pictures of his boyfriends in their twink selves, getting it on very often.

There is more, pictures of blow jobs and what looked like Alex's cock. John didn't know. It was too grainy. He flipped on to the next page or two and tried to keep his composure. He felt all hot and bothered now.

The rest of the album contained just random pictures of friends, parties, drinking games. Sights of New York with Lafayette by his side and Alex's bad attempt at profile photography. Still, it was nice. John enjoyed looking and it broke his heart to see old sights of New York, mostly the towers. It shocked him just how long ago this all really was and John remembered, he would've only been an infant during all of this.

He was glad Alex had took these pictures though. So glad.

Alex had found their wedding album which left Lafayette in a pit of shock and annoyance, since he demanded to know why their precious wedding album was shoved in a box up in the spare room. Alex apologised to him, awkwardly laughing, saying he must've put it in accidentally and took the box upstairs. Kissed his husband's cheek saying he didn't mean it and gave John a worried smile.

What was even cuter that towards the end of the album it was mostly just Lafayette

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Only Lafayette.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John wasn't sure Lafayette even knew he had been snapshotted either. He was looking elsewhere, asleep, laughing with someone else, doing whatever he was doing. But Alex had caught these moments.

Then one of the photos fell out there at the end from one of the little plastic slots. John caught it before it could even hit the ground and he looks at it properly. Instead it wasn't a photo. It was a piece of paper with two tickets. John squinted at them as he brought them closer to his face.

They looked like concert tickets. John did another check over and they were.

Faded concert tickets, from over two decades ago, still there, both attached together on the piece of lined paper.

That's when John noticed, there was a little message. 

Alex's handwriting, forever the penman. But John had to quirk another small smile at the sight of the messy scribbled bubble he drew around it. Little stars drawn around and badly uneven hearts.

Clearly, a teenager in love. 

John quickly read what it said underneath them, his chest went tight and his heart melted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"When we first met, you told me, you never got to live growing up and that you felt trapped back there in France. Before I met you, I thought I was free as a bird, until tonight._

_Tonight, there, with you, watching them play. It's the first time I've ever been able to breathe. I guess, we've both freed each other._

_And now, I could never imagine being without you._

_We were born holding hands._

_You're my home._

_You're the moon and stars in my sky, you shine bright._

_You're the light of my life,_ _Lafayette."_

_\- Nov 15th 1998_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John just smiled.

He placed the tickets on their note into their slot and closed the album.

Every part of him tingled after looking through it. This swarm of happiness and warmth over came him. He felt content and blessed in some way.

Neither Lafayette or Alex notice him place the album down silently on the bed. Hopefully Alex or Lafayette will shift it away to wherever they kept their albums. 

They're bickering over something to do with Alex hoarding too many books and where to put some ugly ornament Lafayette bought at an auction five years ago. John watched them both, chuckling to himself and figured he better go downstairs to grab some hot drinks to cool them down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the day of their anniversary John told both Lafayette and Alex that he wanted to give them space.

Allow them to do whatever they wanted, go wherever with each other. John even offered to go back to his dorm for the night, so they could have some privacy, a romantic night in.

But nope.

Lafayette and Alex told John that they wanted him home. They were happy with John there on their special day together and Lafayette demanded it was essential since John was part of their relationship now. So it was vital.

John kept stressing saying he really didn't mind. Alex told him to hush and Lafayette started making arrangements for a restaurant.

But John held his hands up at this one, he didn't want to impose on their night. He didn't mind, it was their day and they worked long hours enough, spending time together as just Alex and Lafayette would be good for them.

John was happy.

So after worming his way out of spending the evening out with them both. It had taken some utter stress to get through to them both that this night was theirs. The fucking wedding day. In the end Lafayette and Alex gave in, they got ready to head on out into town for dinner and told John they wouldn't be long. Both of them, kissing him on each cheek at the same time.

It riled John up because he wanted them to go out and have fun. They didn't need him there, not on their big night.

Instead he went out for a movie, couple of drinks and meal with Peggy. It took them some time to rekindle but now they were tighter than ever and back to being best friends.

Apparently Peggy was now dating somebody, John got all the gossip and threatened to claw the face of whoever this guy was that she was seeing, if he ever hurt his Pegz.

But other than that it had been a good day out and nice to spend time together. It was difficult nowadays because Peggy was working an internship, balancing a part time job and she was preparing to go to England to work there for a year at the end of college.

John was jealous of her going, but at the same time he was going to miss her so much.

When John arrived back at the penthouse he was dawdling around doing his own thing. He was home alone it seemed too. Lafayette and Alex were still out and about.

After a nice bath, a change into a loose t-shirt, his sweats and hoody. John ordered Dominos since he was hungry again and decided to do a bit of work. Right after he got fed up animating his video, spoke to Martha for an hour, tried to answer all his other siblings DMs, including his father since he constantly pestered John now to see how he was.

Although John appreciated it, he needed a break and that resulted in some quality time, one on one, with his video games.

Days Gone and some Mortal Kombat 11 sounded pretty good right now.

John paid absolutely no mind to his phone, the time or anything else. His project went ignored there beside him on his laptop. John was completely endorsed in this game, shooting like a mad man and muttering under his breath when he got hit.

The time flew by that night and John barely paid any attention to the front door opening either.

Sounds of obnoxious laughter and jeering suddenly emerged into the room. John's spinning head in the direction of the entrance, he sees Alex happily dancing in singing whatever it was and Lafayette joining in even louder.

It was hilarious to watch really.

John curled up his legs there on the sofa, put his controller down and sat there highly entertained.

They're putting up their jackets, well, Alex must've dropped his around three times and he's stumbling around trying to kick off his shoes. He uses Lafayette to lean on as he does, wobbling around aimlessly.

One of them goes flying across there on the flooring. Alex and Lafayette watch it soar into the center of the room. At this, they both looked at each other in the moment and piggishly barked out into a fit of giggles. John rolled his eyes, they were absolute idiots when they had drink in them. Anything was a laugh.

Alex was swatting Lafayette's chest, as if it was really that funny.

Lafayette's shaking his head, saying something in French and is kicking off his own shoes. John's quirking his brow at this, he's surprised his Papa had really just booted off his notorious, Gucci Horsebit Loafers, right by Alex's mangy old sneakers and black boots like they were nothing.

The pair of them were definitely pissed up.

John is still silently watching them faff around in the entrance, quick little kisses, Alex being extra flirty with his husband and Lafayette huskily whispering sweet nothings to him. Slapping Alex on the ass as he did. John leant against his hand, he was growing bored now. They still hadn't noticed him.

Then suddenly Alex is finally peeling sway from Lafayette and he's locking eyes with his shoe there in the middle of the living room. He's hopping off there, slipping around in his socks like a drunken mess, to go collect it and when he does, that's when he finally notices John.

John sarcastically smiled when Alex locked eyes with him. Lafayette follows suit and he's traipsing into the room now as well.

"Hey baby boy!" Alex cooed, he burst out into the most goofiest smile.

The stench of alcohol was unnerving. Great.

Lafayette was just as bad. He was giving Alex a bit of a shove and telling him to go put his shoe back. So Alex does and he's staggering around, singing at the top of his lungs again towards the entrance.

"Ah, our sweetest little cherie, how have you been this evening?" Lafayette asks, as he goes over to sit on the sofa leg next to John.

He seemed more alert than Alex who was jumping around like a hyperactive puppy.

John grinned at them both. "Pretty good" He says and John's slipping off his headphone set from around his neck. "So, how did it go? Where'd you both get to?"

Alex skates over just behind John, he leans down and wraps his arms around John's neck. Hugging him, they swayed and John giggled. Lafayette goes to tousle John's fluffy curls.

"Oh it was a pretty damn good night!" Alex tells him. "You should've comeee!"

"A live band was playing in the restaurant, you would have enjoyed it." Lafayette told John while slipping off his silk red tie.

Alex nods, laughing, "You would've! We arrived just in time for happy hour and someone had gotten married earlier that day, threw their party at the restaurant, we got free drinks almost all night! Best, fucking, night, ever."

"It was fabulous!" Lafayette lamented.

John bit the inside of his cheek, lucky bastards.

"And Laf! Laf was almost on the stage! Weren't you, Laf?! He was getting giddy with the barman!"

"Really now?" John eyes Lafayette, his cheek, brazen. He's stumped. Lafayette getting loose though, oh boy.

Deep down though, John was sorry he didn't go along with them now.

Lafayette swirled around his tie and uses it to give John a little flick. John chuckled, flinching away, it hardly hurt.

"Next time you are coming" Lafayette tells John. "No 'buts' and no 'Nos', understood?"

John nods.

Alex gives John a little shake and then adds, "Yeah! Baby boy, we gotta snatch Laf up! Can't have him runnin' around being a snack, now, can we?"

For that comment Alex is the one getting whipped with the tie next. Alex ended up laughing down John's ear from the pitiful effect it had.

Then Lafayette notices the controller and headset there by John's legs.

"Oooh, Cherie, what're you playing?" Lafayette asked him, excitedly.

While John was being swayed again with Alex, he looked back at the TV. He almost forgot about his game. "Just some of Days Gone"

Lafayette's excitement skyrocketed. "Oh my god! You bought it?!"

Then Alex stopped swaying himself and John, he blows out a sigh, then goes, "Fuck, here we go..."

"Yeah" John told Lafayette, smirking, he's leaning forwards and freeing himself out of Alex's hold. Then grabbing the games plastic cover from underneath the coffee table. "I told you the other day"

And Lafayette whined, like a child. It had both Alex and John snickering. "Liar! You did not!" Lafayette cried. "You kept that quiet, you are so sneaky!"

"Jesus christ... if it's not Disney with you two, it's games -" Alex inputted, laughing. "Laf, sweetness, I'm sure John will let you play it"

John turned slightly and gave Alex a withering look.

"Won't you" Alex said sweetly, although he sounded slightly threatening.

"Eventually" John bit his lip from smiling.

Lafayette looked stunned. "Mon Cherie"

"I said eventually!" John laughed. "You will get a chance! I've only just bought it!"

"Sharing is caring!" Alex yelled, as he's jabbing John in the back.

John shrugged. Lafayette curled up his lip, pouting and frowning. "You are the worst, little one"

Now John was the one to look astounded.

Then Alex stands upright and he claps his hands. "Hey, right, so, if Laf gets a go, does that mean I can have a go?" Alex asks.

Alex was about to grab his headphone set. "Baby, can I have a go? Lemme try -" John stopped him immediately.

Lafayette gave a loud 'pfft' and John looked back up at Alex.

John stared at Alex and Alex stared back.

Lafayette remained silent. The tension brewed up slowly between them all.

John was the first to break it.

"Don't you think the world hates Americans enough as it is?"

Lafayette howled at this.

Alex's face darkened.

"Daddy, be realistic here." John told him, a bit too sassily for his own good.

"I swear, you cheeky little -" Alex was immediately then tugged by Lafayette before he could even finish that sentence.

John giggled aloud.

"Come now" Lafayette calmly says.

"Laf did you hear him!" Alex roared.

"Indeed I did, come." Lafayette standing up from the sofa and he pulled his husband along with him, towards the kitchen. The force had Alex staggering, he was still pretty half-gone with the drink. "It is late, we should get changed"

John's got his eyes fixated on them, like a hawk on their prey. Watching.

He sees the little wink Lafayette gives Alex.

They're in on something. John knows it. He knew what they were like.

"Oh" Alex chuckled and then flirtatiously says, "Are you proposing that we..."

John's interest perked up at this.

He turns around, fully, looking over the sofa at them both by the kitchen's island.

"Mm, yes. Since little John is having fun alone, let us leave him to his own devices, come." Lafayette says, loud enough for John to hear too. He got the hint alright. "We can have just as much fun, ourselves"

Alex bit his lip, devilishly beaming as he's allowing Lafayette to tug him along to their bedroom.

"Goodnight Cherie!" Lafayette shouts, smirking as he did and he opens the bedroom door.

Alex barked out a laugh at John's expression. "Night honey!"

John threw them daggers.

The door shut.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh they did just not -

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To hell with this.

"Fuck it" John muttered and he's standing up from the sofa.

He may have missed out the beginning of the evening, but he sure as hell, wasn't missing the end.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

John comes bounding into the bedroom minutes later.

Right there infront of him, John spots, Lafayette and Alex on the bed. With the sight of Alex on his back, his shirt already open showing his bare chest, giggling away at Lafayette going at his neck, as he towered over him. It must've tickled because Alex was snorting in tucks of wild laughter.

"You two" John whined. "Hey!"

Alex looked at Lafayette and Lafayette looked at Alex. They clearly were ignoring him as a joke because they pretended as if they didn't hear him. Alex wrapped his arms around Lafayette's neck, pulling him down laughing as Lafayette is whispering something in French.

"I know you can hear me!" John cried. "Stop, hey! Wait, wait!"

And John is bouncing on the bed with them, melting into the mattress and he's trying to sit up whilst they're moving around. "Wait" John whined. He's trying to get inbetween them both. "Stop"

Alex cackled when John is pulling him and Lafayette apart. "Mean" John muttered. "Fucking wait!"

"Look! Babe, look! Aw, he's jealous!" Alex chimed and he's reaching up a hand to tug on John's cheek. John frowns at him. "Look'a that lil face"

John slaps Alex's hand off him. Alex continued his hysterics, rolling around on the bed.

Lafayette is there on his knees holding his belly as he laughed. Them watching John work up a mood was all but a joke to them.

"Y'all teasing me and shit" John muttered.

"Indeed" Lafayette tossed out. "And yet here you are"

John rolled his eyes.

Alex was still on his back looking dazed and chuckling under his breath. He stretches out his arms and whined out, "Can, like, one of you just get this off?"

Instead of one of them doing it, Lafayette and John got a sleeve each, they're dragging Alex upwards, then sliding it off him. Then in seconds, Alex was already tending to his husband's shirt and tried to un-do the buttons. But they were so super small and fidgety

Alex scowled at them. "Oh for fuck sake"

"What?" John asks.

Lafayette was looking down at Alex to see what on earth he was doing. "Mon Cher, you're going to rip them off!"

"I will do if I can't get these fucking things to un-do! Christ" Alex mumbled. Lafayette's face turned stormy. "I wanna see my man! Fucking open!"

"This is DKNY, watch it." Lafayette muttered at him.

"Well, I D-K-Not-care, babe, get it off for me" Alex giggled, while, yet trying to sound serious. "Help get it off otherwise I will rip it"

Lafayette let out a small 'tsk' at his smart ass response.

"I swear" Lafayette sighed. Then Alex is literally trying to pry one of the buttons, right off. Lafayette wasn't impressed. "Oh, god, Alexander, this is brand new, becareful!"

Alex managed to do one and he rebuffed with, "No wonder they're so stiff then! Babe, on nights like tonight, wear shirts I can just rip off you!"

Lafayette was busy mumbling something in his own language. Alex gasped at him and said 'I heard that'. This time John steps in and he's shifting Alex out the way so he can take over instead.

"Here, let me help" John says, he's un-doing one of the buttons, then the next and it's easy. "There we go, see? Alex you're just drunk. That wasn't so hard"

Lafayette pulled a smug face at his husband and Alex wafted a hand at him. Before tumbling on his side, looking around, wondering what day it was.

As John was shuffling the shirt off Lafayette, he captured his gaze and they're staring into each others eyes. John takes a minute out to just appreciate Lafayette's beautiful sculpted arms, his stunning abs, he traces his fingers around them and his breath hitches in his throat. God, he wanted him.

Then John shifts his gaze to Alex who's looking gorgeous, completely pissed out of his wit, still gorgeous though as ever. Loose disgruntled locks out for a change, although he wasn't as ripped as his husband. Alex was lean enough, the softness of his stomach with the small 'v' interjecting down his jeans and supple patch of chest hair always got John fired up. Alex's shapely arms, firm, tough.

Jesus christ, John wanted the pair of them. Right now.

But then it hit him.

Maybe for once, he could enjoy the show rather than be in it for a change.

John's looking at them both while they toying around with each other infront of him. And then that's when John did it.

"I wanna see you both do it" John says bluntly.

Lafayette's brow raised at this and Alex's smile automatically turned warped.

Alex flickered his eyes to his husband, smirking and he takes Lafayette's chin, tugging it in his direction. "Hear that my love? Our little one wants to see us fuck"

Well that wasn't an understatement. John did.

He wanted to see them go absolutely at it. Watch them both break.

"I do" John smirked back. Eyes bouncing between them both. "Properly this time"

There was a droplet of silence. Alex looked fairly serious and so did Lafayette. But then it went back to smiles.

"You sure you're not gonna bounce?" Alex joked, laughing it off.

John gave Alex a small shove in his shoulder. Alex cackled as he swayed slightly from it.

"Shut it" John mumbled.

And Lafayette is putting an arm on Alex's thigh. Rubbing it up and down slowly. Alex's eyes drift to it.

"Should we?" Lafayette asks Alex, his voice slightly hushed as if he were unsure if it was really okay.

Alex nodded, grinning. "Mm, I think we should. Show him how we really do it."

This had John wanting to explode. Inside he was screaming.

Lafayette's face fell into slight concern. "Are you up for it though? Alexander, you drank quite a bit -"

"Oh babe, stop your worrying. Jesus christ. We've been dicking since John was learning how to walk and talk" Alex spat, giggling. "I'm always up for it..."

John's jaw dropped and he spluttered out a shocked 'Hey!'.

"Come on, Laf. Lets." Alex chuckled into Lafayette's shoulder and he's looking up at him with big eyes. "I want John's mouth on my balls and your cock up my ass, it's our night. C'mon."

In seconds he's dragging his husband down with him.

With that John is shifting out of the way to the end of the bed while both of them mooch up into the center.

John's body had suddenly grown several degrees warmer on its own accord. In fact, his cheeks were now actually quite hot. There was a lot of kissing, drunken giggling and wet pops from patches of skin being sucked. John's eyes never left them. Not once.

Alex looked ravenous. "Shit... that's it..." He panted with anticipation as he felt Lafayette's hand glide down further and begin to undo the buckle of his pants.

"Mm, you like that?" Lafayette voice was curious. "It seems your Daddy is hardening up, Cherie"

Under Lafayette's cool stare there was nowhere to go but the truth. John felt his cheeks ignite again. Dropping his eyes back down to Alex.

"Keep watching" Alex told him, with a purr in his voice.

Reluctantly, John raised his eyes once more.

Leaning down, Lafayette's lips just a breath away now. He continued to tease Alex, however, brushing sensual lips smirking just barely over his own. Finally Alex sought to meet him, but Lafayette wouldn't have it; he pulled up keeping them just barely separated.

"Wait -"

John quirked a brow as he watched.

Alex felt Lafayette's lips just barely graze his. "Laf?" he whispered.

"You have -" Lafayette breathed.

And he's wiping the corner of Alex's mouth, probably something from dinner. Alex frowned at him and scoffed all at the same time. John held back his laughter.

"Oh, Jesus, christ -" Alex laughed out. "We're fucking married!"

What was sexier was that Lafayette licked whatever sauce it was off his fingers and he's devouring Alex before he could get another word in.

Lafayette's hand was clutching Alex's hair and held him in place as his tongue possessed his mouth. When he broke the kiss Lafayette sighed into his husband's ear. "Indeed, we are married and you, Mon Mari, taste still just as sweet after all these years"

Alex growled, both his hands on Lafayette's cheeks as he's capturing his lips again. John's completely invested in this, watching them smooch. It was quite a show.

Although they were half drunk and the display of kissing was fairly sloppy. The pair of them still did manage to pry off each others jeans, belts fell to the floor and then went to each other's underwear.

Alex giggled aloud when Lafayette was biting into the side of his neck, laughing as he did, tugging down Alex's briefs in a familar fashion. Snapping the elastic, cupping and gripping Alex's ass. Them both snickering away in French, naughtily exchanging probably the most perverse things to each other.

John knew what they were like by now.

But John noticed they did it in what looked like a routine. They just knew who's came off first and then the other's. Years of understanding one another, who did what and John hoped someday, it could be like that with him.

When they were both finally nude, they messed around for quite a bit before Alex was the one who took the domineering side of it all. Pushing Lafayette flat down there, sideways, on the bed, his long legs almost dangling off and Alex clambering on top of him like it was no biggie. Lafayette putting an arm under his head and he's poking at Alex's stomach, playfully, as Alex took his cock.

John was sat there on the end, crossed-legged, wide eyed, watching this pan out. He wasn't sure if they even remembered he was there because they were so endorsed with each other. Kissing, toying around, speaking, swatting one another when the other said something out of line or outrageous. It was cute.

And Lafayette must have told Alex something really bad. It was in French, John couldn't really make it out. Still, it was fun to watch them just banter in bed.

"Oh, shut up, Laf you're terrible -" Alex chuckled, lightly slapping him on the thigh.

Lafayette bit his lip, his eyes glimmered with mischievousness. Alex shook his head at him.

John's eyes went back and forth.

As Alex adjusted himself there on his husband, he's also shuffling himself down Lafayette's legs a little. "Right, shush, shut it. I'm gonna suck you off, fucking hell and people say I'm the bad one!"

"Mm, but Cherie, you love it" Lafayette jeered.

John then decides to be apart of this ordeal and asks, "What did he say?"

Alex looked over to John and he waved him off. Lafayette was creasing again. "Baby, you don't even want to know. Anyway -"

"Tell him" Lafayette laughs. "Just tell him!"

But Alex shook his head. "I can't, I really can't. Next time you're out with us, you'll see the type of antics your Papa does." And Alex switches his eyes to Lafayette, cutting them slightly.

John's face goes into surprise.

Lafayette blew his husband a kiss. "You would have done it yourself, Mon Cher"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alex is lowering his head and firmly taking Lafayette's cock, he gives it a tug. Smirks when he catches Lafayette off guard on that one. "I married a menace" Alex tells John.

John laughed at that one. "Talk for yourself"

And while Lafayette is in tucks of laughter at John's response and whatever else had happened between them both. Alex gave John an unimpressed look, just before he's engulfing his mouth with Lafayette's cock.

John's own ears drank in the sounds of his Papa's panting gasps as Alex licked up its underside from base to tip and then covered Lafayette's cockhead swirling his tongue over its tip.

"Fuck..." Lafayette moaned; his purr already audible.

Grinning around Lafayette's cock, Alex moved a hand over to grip it firmly at its base as his mouth began to slide up and down his tall, hard length.

These sounds grew louder when Alex devoured Lafayette's cock, finally, with his mouth.

Lafayette bleated his delight, but these sounds soon became something more desperate as Alex's grip around his cock kept him from coming.

"Alex...ander" He rasped.

Between the sucking, the lewd little wet 'pops' and slurping of it all. Alex darted his eyes to John, grinning with Lafayette's cock in his mouth, the girth rocketing against Alex's cheek caused John's balls backflips. Lafayette's eyes kept shut for some time and he went back to staring Alex hard in the eyes.

John felt like grabbing his own out and playing with it. For now, he didn't.

Finally Alex relented. No sooner did he shift his grip into a stroke than Lafayette's dick began jerking as it spurted copious amounts of hot cum .

"Oh, yes. You just shoot it all out for me... Gorgeous, babe." Alex huffed out. "Isn't he?" And he's looking directly back at John.

John knew his cheeks were on fire. He shyly nodded at the sight of it all.

Alex sniggered at his reaction. "Baby, god. Your face."

"Little one, would you care to join us?" Lafayette asked John, panting, he was still in a bit of a daze.

Alex nods. "Always room for one more" And he's lapping up some of Lafayette's cum and licking his lips. "You can if you want"

But John shook his head. He was sitting on the side lines in this one. "Nope, you both, carry on" John tells them.

So with a shrug off them both, they did.

It took a few minutes before they both got their breath back again. Lafayette wanted to move over because it was a nuisance hitching up his head, it was starting to strain him. So instead, he pushed himself up and seated behind the headboard. Far better and comfier for him.

Alex climbed over his lap and he's giving Lafayette after round of him, slicking him up in the process.

John feels as though he's like a rock down below by now. Alex was busy grabbing Lafayette's cock, pumping it and Lafayette tilts his head back in ecstasy. Humming, lowly moaning as the feeling of the light hand job given.

Seeing Lafayette's taut dick, large and dewed with precum, John could feel himself starting to stir again. His arousal was starting to hurt.

Quickly, Alex lapped up his hand and slathered his saliva there around the length Lafayette's cock. Before licking two fingers, then shamelessly fingering himself and giving himself a bit of a stretch. John watched in awe and Lafayette was too far back in bliss to care.

Then Alex was shuffling forward, positioning himself as his knees slid apart there on the sheets. Lafayette took Alex by the waist, pulling him forwards.

"Fuck me like we're eighteen again, come on, babe." Alex says through his giggling as he's lowering himself on his husband.

Lafayette swatted Alex's lower back. "So impatient..."

Watching, John was mesmerized by the sight of Alex sliding onto Lafayette's gorgeous cock. Effortlessly, slipping down, there was a small grumble and Alex's face did etch a little bit of discomfort from the size.

"Ow... fuck..." came from Alex in a whisper.

Lafayette's brow raised in concern but it vanished.

In seconds Alex's grimacing turning to a low moan, a deep sigh and a smile popped up on his lips.

He was fine.

Lafayette lovingly rubbed his hands up and down Alex's sides. Admiring his man from below there. Both of them staring at each other, deeply in the eyes. Exchanging knowing looks, telepathically speaking to each other. Roped into their own little world as they were not connected to one another.

John felt his heart squeeze and flip at the sight of them. It was romantic, powerful. He felt glad to have these two, beautiful men, in his life.

And he loved that, they looked at him, just like that too.

Alex broke the silence when he said, "God, John, if only you could've seen what Laf was like when we first got together -" and he then to Lafayette below him. John already knew, he had seen the photographs. He chose not to say anything though.

"You remember? Laf? You were so awkward, it was quite amusing actually -" Alex adds, tauntingly.

"Yes, but on your part" Lafayette rolls his eyes.

Alex turns back to John as he's grinding himself down, a small grunt inbetween but nothing he couldn't handle. John watches Alex slide down like a pro.

"He was this big, tall, gorgeous goof! But when we first met I could _not_ get him to even look me in the eyes, I mean seriously, god. I had to do all the talking -"

Lafayette let out a loud 'Ha!' and both of them looked at him. "And you still do, Mon Cher."

Alex scoffed at him.

"I can imagine" John snickered.

Lafayette laughed at his response.

Alex cut his eyes at them both. "You two... I swear. But anyway, the first time we had sex, I was overwhelmed. Out of all the guys before, I had never taken dick this _big_ -"

John threw his head back and whined out "For fuck sake, Alex!"

Lafayette snickered, "Oh, Mon petit, love. You should know what he is like by now!"

"What!" Alex barked, as looking at John. "I hadn't! It was like winning the lottery, perfect guy -" Alex looks down at his husband there, lovingly, teasingly too and Lafayette arched a brow, smirking back.

Alex roamed a hand around Lafayette's sculpted scruff. "Spoke the same language as each other, we just hit it off and then when I saw this thing -" Alex moved his hips, biting his lip as he's holding eye contact with Lafayette. "Damn, sure, I love it, of course -"

John feels his own cock twitch.

"But when he asked me to marry him..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John saw that look between them. It wasn't lust.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Only love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Well that was it" Alex finishes, John heard that emotion right there in Alex's voice.

It was enough to tug John's heartstrings and the dazed way Lafayette looked back at him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John felt his soul sing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lafayette holds Alex by the waist.

"Ha! I guess I'm just one lucky bastard" Alex giggled. "Ain't that right... my love."

"That you are, Alexander." Lafayette tells him.

Slowly Alex began riding him, gently thrusts, cock in, cock out. Both of them softly mewled from the shallow movement, it was quiet, until Alex had to put out, "I was the first dude you were ever with"

Lafayette nods. "Yes, Alexander and you however, weren't the last -" He looked to John.

John felt his heart skip as he did.

Alex bit his lip and looked to John.

"I ended up popping his cherry" Alex chuckled.

John pulled a look of surprise. "Really?"

"Hell yeah! But you thought you were shy, baby? Papa here was a wreck. He wouldn't let me stretch him, fuck or eat him out for ages." Alex whined and pouts at his husband. "I had to totally earn that privilege"

"Come off it, Alexander, I was not that shy." Lafayette rebuffed.

Alex raised his brow and drops his mouth as he laughs, "Oh yes you were!"

"Was he?" John added.

Lafayette glared at John for stirring the pot and Alex nods.

"He was! But he was even more shocked when he saw I had a tongue web piercing" Alex said casually as he began slowly riding his husband Lafayette's hands cupped Alex's backside, his fingers danced along it in little patterns. He was obviously waiting for things to take a wild turn.

"When we sucked mouth for the first time, he almost died when he felt his tongue on it -" Lafayette looked slightly paler from the mentioning of this said piercing.

John looked shocked.

"Jesus, Alex! You had one of those? Fuck, I bet it hurt!" John cried. He couldn't even envision having one of them things, let alone kissing Alex with one.

Lafayette sighs, "He did, I had never seen such a sight. It made me feel ill..."

Alex snorts and pinches on of his husband's nipples. "Well, you weren't saying that when I gave you probably one of the best blow jobs in your entire eighteen years of living. Right?"

"God" Lafayette sighed.

"In the end, baby boy, I had to take it out because _Laf_ just couldn't handle it" Alex gave Lafayette a little poke in the chest. "Could you?"

"It was vile!" Lafayette wailed.

Alex snorted and poked him again.

John giggled at them both.

"Alexander" Lafayette rolled his eyes and bared them on John for a moment. "He wanted to get a 'Prince Albert' too, I advised Alexander not to."

"A what?" John asked, batted his eyes confused.

Alex turns to John, biting his bottom lip menacingly and he's moving his hips on Lafayette's cock ever so. "Means a cock piercing, gives amazing sex -"

"And you would know?" John pressed.

Alex gave John a wink.

That was all John needed to know.

He didn't question it again.

Lafayette cut in, "It isn't sanitary in my opinion and with Alexander dating others at the time, I told him not to."

"See? See how much I love you!" Alex laughed as he bats Lafayette on the chest. Lafayette remained looking stumped. "I never got it done! Because of you! See!"

"That sounds fucking painful" John whined. "Alex, no!"

"I would've done it" Alex said carelessly. "I've got a high tolerance for pain, honey"

"Also it would have be unacceptable for condoms, that is where I draw the line" Lafayette lectured.

Alex laughed more, his cheeks were bright red from all his joking and laughing. "Babe! When was the last fucking time we've ever used a bastard condom? When?!"

John pursed his lips, nodding. Alex did have a point.

"You know exactly what I am referring to Alexander" Lafayette said, his stern stare however did not move Alex one bit.

John understood where Lafayette was coming from. Being in an open relationship could be risky, Alex could've caught all sorts. It made sense.

Alex hummed in agreement, still playfully smiling and he pressed a sweet soft kiss against Lafayette's lips. "Of course I know that, silly. Hence why I never got it done. I wouldn't risk that. I'd _never_ risk us." Alex whispered. He's still lovingly staring into Lafayette's eyes and puts a hand onto his cheek. "I'm dumb, well -"

"You're smart, but dumb" John threw in. "We know"

Lafayette snickered against Alex's lips and Alex's shoulders stiffened.

Alex shoots a look over his shoulder at John. "Baby boy" Alex said warningly.

"Papa, can't you just fuck Daddy and shut him up?" John asks him, eyes innocent as he did.

Alex's jaw dropped.

"Excellent idea, Mon Cherie" Lafayette sang.

In the matter of seconds, Alex exhaled a relieved breath at the sensation of Lafayette's hard pelvis bumping against the firm mounds of his ass, the brush of balls at the base of stretched, slick skin.

Growls and grunts, gasps and moans ricocheted off the walls of the room. The two of their hushed voices joined in a primitive duet, just as their bodies were now connected. The slap of flesh added a percussive element as Lafayette set out at a purposeful pace using slow shallow strokes at first, allowing Alex to continue adjusting.

Alex was about to ask what the hold up was until his words were cut off with a barking cry, as Lafayette suddenly slammed into him so hard it threatened to steal his breath. Alex felt Lafayette grasp his hips in a vise like embrace, as Lafayette drew upwards only to plunge into him again even more deeply, if that was even possible.

At this pace, Alex looked as if his heart was immediately accelerating, beads of sweat jumped to the surface of his skin, and a shaking shiver coursed up his back as his body absorbed these brutal blows.

John's on the edge, his eyes pierced on the scene before him.

And he's slowly finding his hand is making its way to the front of his sweatpants, he's digging around for his own cock. As he's watching Alex get totally fucked, Lafayette huffing and puffing. John started to gradually pump his own cock.

"Is this what you wanted?" Alex choked out, he's looking back behind to take a peak at John. As Alex does, he's immediately grinning, naughtily biking his lip and giggling, "You like this? Huh? Do you, kitten? You like seeing Daddy getting his ass beat the fuck up by your Papa? So bad, fucking naughtiest little bitch. Aren't ya?"

Alex's words only encouraged John to keep on going.

"Such a bad fucking little slut, watching his Daddies fuck and whacking his Jack as he watches. Fuckin' worst, you." John huffed out.

It only made John go harder on himself.

His cheeks were flustered, freckles out to play and he tries not to die even more, when he sees Lafayette not staring back at him with a evil smirk. As Alex was bouncing away, moaning aloud, he's gone back to kiss his husband as he does and he pulls away to look back at John.

"Don't you fucking dare take your eyes off my ass or his cock -" Alex ordered him. "Understood?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John nodded.

Oh, he understood alright.

And he wasn't gonna.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lafayette caught Alex off guard when he hitches right up, his cock plunging into him, deeply, Alex almost screaming. Lafayette snickered as he did, John couldn't hold in his laughter, as he continued to beat his meat.

"Don't laugh!" Alex whimpered at him, John laughed more. Alex actually _whimpered_.

"Fucking hell! Lafayette!" Alex cried. He's glaring at his husband, Lafayette looked smug. Then Alex narrowed his eyes, staring Lafayette deeply again in his and he's smirking back at him. "Again, do it, again, shit"

So Lafayette does, again and again and again. It leaves Alex seeing stars.

John kept going and going until eventually he was on the verge of erupting his own load. He does notice as Alex is coming down each down time on Lafayette's thickened cock, a heap of hot cum is sizzling down it.

"Aw yeah!" Alex cried.

"Faster, Mon Ange, faster -" Lafayette chanted.

Alex takes the lead for once and he's fucking himself there on Lafayette's cock. Quick, hard and heavy. Although he does get out of breath quicker, clearly tiring out and Lafayette takes the pace back.

"Want your spunk deep in me, fuck, give me it harder, babe, please -" Alex moaned. "Fucking, harder!"

His neediness only earned him a slap on the ass. John's smirking this time, so now, the tables have turned.

Lafayette lapped up his top lip, the suspense brimming in his eyes, their frantic breathing meeting in patterns as Lafayette practically filled Alex up. John saw the amount of hot cum rainfall between each thrust, swarming around the ring of Alex's asshole and dribbling down his length.

John enjoyed every minute of it. Watching Alex unbuckle, completely, drop that dominance and allow himself to be swallowed up. Seeing them both fuck was a magic of its own and John wanted to see it again. It didn't take too long for John either to completely splurge inside his own hand, up the font of his sweats, leaving himself with a tinge of dizziness ringing through his head.

Alex had gone bright red in the face down, all sweaty and disheveled. Lafayette looked more cool and composed but still just as weary. After a good few more minutes of fucking, Alex collapses on the front of his husband. Both of them taking a minute to breathe and gain back their surroundings.

As all of their breathing mellowed out, sweat being the staple scent of their bedroom, currently. Combined with salty cum, alcoholic breath and arm pits. But John wouldn't have it any other way, they looked so peaceful now together lay there in a huffing heap.

John was the first to break the silence.

He's brushing his soiled hand on his sweats, fuck it. They could go in the wash tomorrow.

"Y'all did a number on each other, holy shit." John giggled. He's then shuffling on his knees over to them both and he goes into a sweet, soft, little smile. His eyes clouded up with adoration at the two of them. "Aw, you both good?"

Alex didn't even budge. Lafayette however, he manages to shoot John a sleep smile.

"Cherie, I think we may have broken Alexander" Lafayette laughs, softly. He gives Alex a bit of a shake, his hands running up and down Alex's back. Fingers tracing Alex's delicate back dimples.

John leans over to press a kiss on Lafayette's cheek and then he's moving Alex's locks out of his eyes, so he can pop a kiss on Alex's forehead. Alex said nothing, he was lay there against Lafayette, remaining quiet.

Then John looked back to Lafayette and Lafayette gazes at him. "Fuck" John giggled out. "Is he okay?"

Lafayette gave a dreary nod. "Ah, he will be fine, not to worry."

It didn't even take long because not too long after the room was being filled by long, loud, snores. Although Lafayette and John tried not to laugh or curse the fact that Alex would be this extra loud all night.

They spent a few minutes simply just admiring him sleeping, exchanging tender kisses before slipping off the bed together, leaving Alex be so they could go take a quick shower together.

"Did you have fun tonight?" Lafayette asks John between washing his face.

John nods. "I did"

"Next time you really should join us" Lafayette told him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smirking, John, nodded again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of course, he could hardly wait.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Although, you will, next time you will not have a choice." Lafayette firmly told him as he's rinsing soapy suds out of his curls. 

John gave him a look of question. 

"Yeah?" John says. 

Then Lafayette directly looked back at him and he's full out grinning. 

"Yes" Lafayette said. "Because you are coming away with us for your graduation present." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John's eyes almost fell out of his head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm what? -"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There was no getting out of this one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> French translation:
> 
> * "Faites attention à dos souhaits" = Pay attention to your wishes
> 
>  
> 
> Okay, okay. Right, I know, I've been gone for a month, has it been a month? 
> 
> But I'm SORRY. 
> 
> I just honestly didn't feel like updating our boys and their cuteness. Until - BAM!  
> I got the writing bug, ended up updating two of my other stories and then wrote this non-stop. No idea what came over me. Sometimes i just lag and then I'll reboot energy. It's crazy!
> 
> I hope you guys did like the chapter though. It's long, I know. I didn't intend for it to be this long but since I've been away for a month. I kinda do gotta make it up to you guys... eep!
> 
> The chapter is literally just banter, sex, cuddles, banter. It's leading closer to John becoming a hot lil grad and oh, god, his daddies are so proud of him! Alex's money for John's tuition didn't go to waste! Yay! Putting his baby through school! YAS.
> 
> Okay.
> 
> There is going to be literally two chapters left. Two. 
> 
> I must let you guys know that I am working on drabbles mostly covering Laf and Alex's relationship when they first got together, how they met, experimentation. John losing his mother as a young teenager. Things like that. I'm gonna make a little series attached to this story and I will shoot up the first chapter of the sequel during upload of the last chapter of this story. 
> 
> I'll include the link at the bottom of the last chapter so you guys can go read it and so it doesn't go amidst. Mostly because I think the Hamilton fandom is becoming, not, less popular. It's slowing down a lot and I can't blame people. It's been four or five years since it went viral. But hey! Hopefully you will all enjoy the sequel anyway. It won't be as long as this story, god no. Lol.
> 
> But there WILL be a story and how things pan out with them all. I can't give away any major deets just yet. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading. I truly do appreciate all the kind comments and kudos! Please leave a comment below on this chapter. Tell me what you think!
> 
>  
> 
> PP XO
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> My Dumblr (Where I go to cry, weep, whine, write dumb AU ideas and chat to y'all): http://littlepinkphoenix.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> So that is the end of a very long, tedious and I mean long chapter. I had to chop it up actually because it originally was over 14K words... Let me know how you found it though please! 
> 
> OH and btw I'm actually from England. I've never been to NY in my entire life and I dream about going too much. I've just literally got back from Tokyo, so maybe next year. But I thought of this idea and was like "wait - where the hell are all the sugar daddy Ham fics out there?" because there isn't really any! 
> 
> Shameless to say... half of this is coming from my experience as an ex-sugar baby and working in crappy coffee shops. 
> 
> Hope you like it! The fun has yet to start tbh ;)


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